WEBVTT - S06E08 -  Delve deeper into... Having Children vs Being Childless

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<v Speaker 1>Like, hey, you better be doing it earlier because later

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<v Speaker 1>when you actually maybe do you want them, your body

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<v Speaker 1>would be like but I was shutting downstrop, now do you.

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<v Speaker 1>I didn't think of it like oh my god, I

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<v Speaker 1>can't wait. But I did think, well, like I said,

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<v Speaker 1>it's going to happen at some point, I'm gonna have kids.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm gonna get married. I'm gonna have kids.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm gonna get married by twenty five and they have

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<v Speaker 2>like kids.

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<v Speaker 1>I think I said that. I'm sure. I remember you

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<v Speaker 1>wanted a minivan room by, and I was going to

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<v Speaker 1>fill up that minivan. I just liked rolling.

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<v Speaker 2>In a minivan, like to looks like a mom mom.

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<v Speaker 2>But it's fun being an aunt. Yes, I enjoyed that.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm always always be careful those Hi. I'm Amanda and

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<v Speaker 1>I'm Rumby. Welcome to It's like podcasts.

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<v Speaker 2>We're part of the Blackcast network powered by iHeart, and

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<v Speaker 2>today we're recording a live in studio in Melbourne.

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<v Speaker 1>Yea, I'm gonna get over actually saying to you welcome

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<v Speaker 1>to Marlbourneroom, because I feel like by this time in

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<v Speaker 1>the season of this podcast, we now all know Rumby's

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<v Speaker 1>here in Melbourne with us with this beautiful setup at

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<v Speaker 1>Pink Lady Picnics. Shout out to.

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<v Speaker 2>Them, and we're the sweet studios black on black on black.

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<v Speaker 1>As our rumby was trying, I was.

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<v Speaker 2>Saying, black owned, female led businesses, we're all about that.

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<v Speaker 2>There eventually all about it.

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<v Speaker 1>Isn't it so funny. We've talked about weddings, We've talked

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<v Speaker 1>about rora, we've talked about motherhood, yep. But then when

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<v Speaker 1>you talked about motherhood would score shout out to her.

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<v Speaker 1>We never actually talked about that decision you make on

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<v Speaker 1>whether or not you want to have kids.

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<v Speaker 2>And the crazy thing is, I'm at that point in

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<v Speaker 2>my life where I'm like, how do people actually decide

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<v Speaker 2>because I don't have children yet?

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<v Speaker 1>Right?

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<v Speaker 2>Like, what is the thinking when people say I'm ready

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<v Speaker 2>or I want to have kids?

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<v Speaker 1>And do you think Probably maybe I'm being very general here,

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<v Speaker 1>but the first time ever as black women, we actually

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<v Speaker 1>have the choice, I think.

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<v Speaker 2>So I think for our parents' generation now, it was

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<v Speaker 2>you have to bear an air.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, and if you don't, there's a problem quote unquote,

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<v Speaker 1>and it's usually the woman's fault. We'll always right, is

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<v Speaker 1>what those count doesn't happen. Yeah right, or you only

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<v Speaker 1>bear me daughters? What are wasting? It's like it's the

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<v Speaker 1>man actually, but anyway, true?

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<v Speaker 2>So yeah, I yeah, did you know you always wanted

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<v Speaker 2>to have kids?

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<v Speaker 1>You know, look, I think growing up in that context,

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<v Speaker 1>patriarchal context, kids are everywhere. Do you even have a choice?

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<v Speaker 1>Not too? I think I only thought not too once

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<v Speaker 1>I got to Australia. So I say, growing up, I

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<v Speaker 1>always thought. I didn't think of it like, oh my god,

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<v Speaker 1>I can't wait. But I did think, well, like I said,

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<v Speaker 1>it's going to happen at some point when I have kids.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm gonna get married, I'm gonna have kids, even though

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<v Speaker 1>my dating life in Zimbabwe would not have told you

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<v Speaker 1>any of that was happening, but you know what I mean,

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<v Speaker 1>like it just felt like, of course that's going to

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<v Speaker 1>happen at some point, and only maybe as I got older,

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<v Speaker 1>I was like, I'm going to have four? What you

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<v Speaker 1>said you want to four? And then I was like, no,

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<v Speaker 1>actually I want six, and then two I'm going to Okay,

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<v Speaker 1>okay that was and then fom is all I can say?

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<v Speaker 1>Four kids?

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<v Speaker 2>You know, my grandma gave birth to eleven children. But whoa,

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<v Speaker 2>I don't know her, poor vagina.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm sorry, Grandma, Sorry, grandma's with china. But yeah you yuck.

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<v Speaker 2>Yes, no, I mean those have more than I'm good

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<v Speaker 2>for you.

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<v Speaker 1>Eleven is the reality just actually talking about that our parents'

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<v Speaker 1>generation had lots like siblings upon siblings, true, Like I

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<v Speaker 1>think generally generally you'd find like people who have five

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<v Speaker 1>kids were like, oh only five, Like you didn't go

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<v Speaker 1>for a football team. It was just wild wild, which

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<v Speaker 1>is like seven and nine were like pretty much standard. Yeah. No,

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<v Speaker 1>I don't know.

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<v Speaker 2>I don't know whether I always wanted to have kids.

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<v Speaker 2>I think I just that whole notion is like I'm

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<v Speaker 2>gonna get married by twenty five and they have like kids.

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<v Speaker 1>I think I've said that. I'm sure. I remember you

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<v Speaker 1>wanted a minivan room by and I was going to

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<v Speaker 1>fill up that minivan.

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<v Speaker 2>I just liked rolling in a minivan, like to look

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<v Speaker 2>like a mom mom. But now I've upgraded. Okay, my

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<v Speaker 2>dream car is a g wagon.

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<v Speaker 1>Okay, yeah, I rolled with that. I rolled more with

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<v Speaker 1>that than the mini. Why are you hitting on my minivan?

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<v Speaker 2>When you said that, we were like, yeah, literally my

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<v Speaker 2>friends were like, why is that your dream car, I

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<v Speaker 2>guess the dream of having a family, a soccer mom.

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<v Speaker 2>Now I'm like, I'm good, yeah, but now I don't know.

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<v Speaker 2>I don't think I've ever had an h to I

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<v Speaker 2>want to be a mom like yesterday?

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<v Speaker 1>How do you think one does decide if they want

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<v Speaker 1>to have kids or or not have kids?

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<v Speaker 2>These are questions I need answers to because I'm really

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<v Speaker 2>I think now that I'm closer to the sort of

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<v Speaker 2>have to make a las Yeah, I'm not like, but actually,

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<v Speaker 2>what's the thought process behind this? What are you supposed

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<v Speaker 2>to consider? And me being a type of a personality

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<v Speaker 2>and a perfectionist and a control I'm like, what are

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<v Speaker 2>the things I need to go through in making this

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<v Speaker 2>decision to have the children?

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<v Speaker 1>So I want to I would love for you to

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<v Speaker 1>answer that, you know what, I even though I have

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<v Speaker 1>one child, I don't really think obviously you decide at

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<v Speaker 1>some point, but I don't think it was this huge moment.

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<v Speaker 1>You know, it's kind of like do you want to?

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<v Speaker 1>Should we have? And then you know, like that's how

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<v Speaker 1>it felt. I'm definitely going through a pandemic. You kind

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<v Speaker 1>of like question what is life true? Where is life?

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<v Speaker 1>There's more to life and we decided to go down.

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<v Speaker 1>I always liken it to it's almost like you have

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<v Speaker 1>a house, right and you don't know how many bedrooms

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<v Speaker 1>or rooms are in this house, and you can live

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<v Speaker 1>your life in only your two rooms and not even realize.

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<v Speaker 1>And then once you open your room to that third room,

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<v Speaker 1>door to the third room, you're like, ah, this too,

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<v Speaker 1>Oh my life is even a little bit bigger. But

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<v Speaker 1>you still could have lived your life perfectly with only

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<v Speaker 1>your two rooms. And then each child opens a different

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<v Speaker 1>door and then you experience more of the house. But

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<v Speaker 1>it's not to say you couldn't just live your life. Yeah, people,

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<v Speaker 1>I think now that I have a kid, I'm pro

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<v Speaker 1>having kids. I'm not. I'm still pro works for you.

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<v Speaker 1>So for some people those two rooms are like this

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<v Speaker 1>is my max is enough for me, and I'm going

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<v Speaker 1>to live my life in the fullest and you know,

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<v Speaker 1>furnish these two rooms the best I can. And for

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<v Speaker 1>some it's like I want all the doors open and

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<v Speaker 1>all the rooms occupied, you know, and that's how they

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<v Speaker 1>But either way, your house.

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<v Speaker 2>Still functions, still function I think for me, you know,

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<v Speaker 2>as I pondered this, I think a lot of it

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<v Speaker 2>has to do like my readiness. In a lot of ways,

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<v Speaker 2>I think the partner I chose was kind of clouch

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<v Speaker 2>in form because I'm thinking about would this partner make

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<v Speaker 2>a good dad? And would I carry most of the

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<v Speaker 2>load alone? And do you understand? So I think subconscious

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<v Speaker 2>even when I was choosing my partner, I was thinking,

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<v Speaker 2>like I could see him being a good dad. Okay,

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<v Speaker 2>that also helps you know I love him because he

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<v Speaker 2>has these qualities For myself, I think in some weird way,

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<v Speaker 2>with some form of body dysmal feir, I was like

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<v Speaker 2>when I get a six pack, then other kid, because

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<v Speaker 2>then muscle memory. Then after it's really dumb, it's really

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<v Speaker 2>really stupid. Yes, Amanda just gave a long stare at me,

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<v Speaker 2>but I overthink, like my body can come back. I

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<v Speaker 2>guess essentially it's a fear of losing self. That's what

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<v Speaker 2>which happened, which happens with having children. And then I

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<v Speaker 2>think trying to yield wounds childhood wounds performers also get

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<v Speaker 2>a do over. But yeah, you know, I think that's

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<v Speaker 2>because you've seen what has.

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<v Speaker 1>Been passed on no better do better generational.

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<v Speaker 2>Quote unquote curses and like difficulties, so you work to

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<v Speaker 2>try and undo those and when you do that, you

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<v Speaker 2>feel like maybe I'll be a better prepared parent.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah.

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<v Speaker 2>I still don't know if I'm ready to be a parent,

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<v Speaker 2>to be fair, but I think some of my decisions

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<v Speaker 2>and the things I'm doing in my life help.

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<v Speaker 1>It's just unfortunately right because it's not really a decision

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<v Speaker 1>you can take back. And I feel like now that

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<v Speaker 1>I'm a parent and I talk to other parents, it's like,

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<v Speaker 1>if they know now what they know now, would they

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<v Speaker 1>you know? Then? Some people are really honest, and I

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<v Speaker 1>love that about our generation. I feel like our parents'

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<v Speaker 1>generation are very like, oh no, I would never think

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<v Speaker 1>that the make you feel so guilty for even having

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<v Speaker 1>any sort of negative thoughts. You can still two things.

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<v Speaker 1>You can still love your child and still think I

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<v Speaker 1>have been pushed to my math. Yeah, and I think

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<v Speaker 1>it's unfors same. I mean, with marriage, I guess you

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<v Speaker 1>can do force or something, but with having kids, it's

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<v Speaker 1>literally fair for life, so moment for life you cannot

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<v Speaker 1>take it back. But yeah, in some ways people don't

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<v Speaker 1>know what they don't know, right, true? So true?

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<v Speaker 2>But why why is there a pressure to pro create,

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<v Speaker 2>especially in our modern world?

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<v Speaker 1>I know with the billion people in the world.

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<v Speaker 2>And I think our parents, like at least my grandparents,

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<v Speaker 2>it was like a retirement plan, right that they had

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<v Speaker 2>x amount of kids. These kids would all take care

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<v Speaker 2>of them and you know.

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<v Speaker 1>Provide for them and typically help around the house, Like

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<v Speaker 1>the oldest sibling would usually be the one thing care

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<v Speaker 1>of you. Yeah.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, so like, but why the pressure to procreate even

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<v Speaker 2>in this modern age where.

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<v Speaker 1>You can live life fully, yeah, without thought? It's you know,

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<v Speaker 1>I think it's like similar to what we talked about

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<v Speaker 1>on the weddings episode, where it's a stamp of your relationship,

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<v Speaker 1>true stamp of the existence of your love, stamp of yeah, exactly, wild,

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<v Speaker 1>some stamp of on some level you're healthy, your generation,

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<v Speaker 1>your genes, your what what what carries on? Yeah, And

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<v Speaker 1>I think it's still a primal thing even though, and

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<v Speaker 1>I think it's your society pressure as well, Like you know,

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<v Speaker 1>if you're the only if you're the only couple and

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<v Speaker 1>all your couple of friends are having kids, it only like, well,

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<v Speaker 1>now we must do because everyone is doing, you know,

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<v Speaker 1>Like and then I think that's why episodes like this

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<v Speaker 1>are really good, because you take a moment to be like,

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<v Speaker 1>but why and I think it's a bit of vanity, right.

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<v Speaker 2>I want to see yourself in another and you wonder

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<v Speaker 2>how much.

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<v Speaker 1>Will they look like me? What qualities will you get

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<v Speaker 1>from me?

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<v Speaker 2>Sometimes I'm like, they don't need these qualities.

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<v Speaker 1>Like for me, yeah, yeah, yeah. And I think like

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<v Speaker 1>what she said as well before about you know, seeing

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<v Speaker 1>yourself and someone or just yeah, you're just like can

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<v Speaker 1>I do this? Yeah? And what will it look like?

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<v Speaker 2>You know, just experience of I really think procreation is

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<v Speaker 2>a selfish decision in a way. Like obviously, when you're

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<v Speaker 2>raising a child, it's very selfless because you have to

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<v Speaker 2>put their needs and things first. But to bring someone

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<v Speaker 2>into the world. Maybe it's because we grew up being

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<v Speaker 2>told you know that you should be grateful your year

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<v Speaker 2>what what do you know what I mean like where

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<v Speaker 2>it's like I didn't choose to be here, y'all made

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<v Speaker 2>that decision and bring me in. So it is I

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<v Speaker 2>think a selfish decision that requires selfless action.

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<v Speaker 1>Does that make sense?

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<v Speaker 2>So it's like, you know, Jerome didn't say, mommy, Daddy

0:11:48.640 --> 0:11:51.800
<v Speaker 2>bring me into the world, but you were like, I

0:11:51.840 --> 0:11:53.720
<v Speaker 2>think I can do this, and I want to bring

0:11:53.760 --> 0:11:58.520
<v Speaker 2>this new life in. But ultimately had you not Jerome

0:11:58.559 --> 0:12:00.160
<v Speaker 2>didn't have a say yeah.

0:12:00.040 --> 0:12:03.040
<v Speaker 1>And similar to weddings, the proof of your love, right,

0:12:03.280 --> 0:12:05.679
<v Speaker 1>simple thing. Weddings, the bigger the better, So for kids

0:12:05.760 --> 0:12:10.120
<v Speaker 1>is like the more we have or you know, ore,

0:12:10.120 --> 0:12:13.320
<v Speaker 1>you get to the point you're like, we're financially stable,

0:12:13.400 --> 0:12:18.439
<v Speaker 1>We're financially this what's next? And usually in relationships, after

0:12:18.480 --> 0:12:23.240
<v Speaker 1>the wedding, after the marriage, that's the what next is it?

0:12:23.440 --> 0:12:26.520
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, okay, I'm going to play not Devil's advocate, but

0:12:26.559 --> 0:12:29.559
<v Speaker 2>what's the opposite? Angel's advert God's at I don't know

0:12:29.559 --> 0:12:31.760
<v Speaker 2>what the opposite is, but I think we're looking at

0:12:31.800 --> 0:12:36.880
<v Speaker 2>it very like practical terms. But I think people also

0:12:37.120 --> 0:12:41.600
<v Speaker 2>have children. There's an element of like an extension of

0:12:41.760 --> 0:12:44.720
<v Speaker 2>love and bringing good people into the world. Not ever,

0:12:44.800 --> 0:12:46.560
<v Speaker 2>trust me, I don't think everyone feels this way because

0:12:46.559 --> 0:12:52.080
<v Speaker 2>we've questionable exactly, but I think there's an element of

0:12:52.160 --> 0:12:57.640
<v Speaker 2>like giving unconditional love and then that gup page, what's

0:12:57.679 --> 0:13:02.559
<v Speaker 2>the parental one? Anyway that love like and some people

0:13:02.600 --> 0:13:05.640
<v Speaker 2>feel maybe they're making the world a better place, different

0:13:05.640 --> 0:13:09.520
<v Speaker 2>and showing some people really feel cold to having children

0:13:10.600 --> 0:13:16.199
<v Speaker 2>to pour into pour into others. Yeah, I think we're

0:13:16.200 --> 0:13:18.240
<v Speaker 2>looking very practical but I do think there's some people

0:13:18.240 --> 0:13:19.280
<v Speaker 2>who feel.

0:13:19.720 --> 0:13:21.480
<v Speaker 1>There's also the pressure. I mean, we come from Zimbabwe,

0:13:21.520 --> 0:13:25.240
<v Speaker 1>where abortions are not freely accessible. There's also the pressure

0:13:25.280 --> 0:13:27.520
<v Speaker 1>of it just happening and then what do you do now,

0:13:27.600 --> 0:13:31.160
<v Speaker 1>so people being thrown and thrust brust into it as

0:13:31.200 --> 0:13:34.280
<v Speaker 1>well making a stupid decision and then that leads to

0:13:34.400 --> 0:13:38.000
<v Speaker 1>consequential you know, you were a kid, Now there's a

0:13:38.120 --> 0:13:41.520
<v Speaker 1>huge I mean, teenage pregnancies was not uncommon all we

0:13:41.640 --> 0:13:45.199
<v Speaker 1>come from, So there's like a whole array of different

0:13:45.240 --> 0:13:49.800
<v Speaker 1>pressures on why. Yeah, I mean, I think it's such

0:13:49.840 --> 0:13:53.760
<v Speaker 1>a in my opinion in some forms, such a privilege

0:13:53.800 --> 0:13:56.520
<v Speaker 1>and a Western thing to have the time to ponder

0:13:56.640 --> 0:13:59.240
<v Speaker 1>and think and and that's why I think we are

0:13:59.280 --> 0:14:03.199
<v Speaker 1>the first general to I'm pretty sure moms would have

0:14:03.240 --> 0:14:06.920
<v Speaker 1>just been like, well, that's what you do. Literally, I've

0:14:06.960 --> 0:14:07.520
<v Speaker 1>had it before.

0:14:07.559 --> 0:14:10.640
<v Speaker 2>Like I was talking to someone all the working with

0:14:10.679 --> 0:14:12.760
<v Speaker 2>them and they're like, oh, do you have kids because

0:14:12.800 --> 0:14:14.240
<v Speaker 2>they knew I was married, and they're.

0:14:14.040 --> 0:14:15.600
<v Speaker 1>Like, oh, do you have kids? And I was like no.

0:14:16.120 --> 0:14:17.680
<v Speaker 2>Then she just like looked at me and she's like

0:14:17.679 --> 0:14:18.120
<v Speaker 2>like why.

0:14:19.120 --> 0:14:20.200
<v Speaker 1>I was like, I'm just.

0:14:20.320 --> 0:14:23.280
<v Speaker 2>Not ready, and she was she looked quite perplex like

0:14:24.080 --> 0:14:25.760
<v Speaker 2>what do you mean, Like that's just.

0:14:25.720 --> 0:14:26.920
<v Speaker 1>A natural progression.

0:14:27.240 --> 0:14:30.320
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, And then I think she did bring herself like

0:14:30.400 --> 0:14:33.240
<v Speaker 2>pull herself back, rain herself in a little, and she

0:14:33.440 --> 0:14:36.200
<v Speaker 2>was like, okay, you're so young, like you have time.

0:14:36.480 --> 0:14:39.200
<v Speaker 2>But I think in her brain automatically like you get married,

0:14:39.200 --> 0:14:41.280
<v Speaker 2>you have kids, no, yeah, no brain yeah.

0:14:41.200 --> 0:14:44.440
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, and obviously you've brought up age. Some people do

0:14:44.560 --> 0:14:46.720
<v Speaker 1>think that, like, hey, would you better be doing it

0:14:46.760 --> 0:14:50.080
<v Speaker 1>earlier because later when you actually maybe do want them,

0:14:50.120 --> 0:14:52.280
<v Speaker 1>your body would be like I was shutting downstop now

0:14:52.320 --> 0:14:54.760
<v Speaker 1>what do you mean? So I feel like all the

0:14:54.800 --> 0:14:58.080
<v Speaker 1>older moms are also in that respect wise that but

0:14:58.120 --> 0:15:02.080
<v Speaker 1>they're trying. They do't not articulated where they're like, okay,

0:15:02.120 --> 0:15:03.880
<v Speaker 1>you can wait, but you can only wait so long,

0:15:04.360 --> 0:15:06.600
<v Speaker 1>you know, but they're gon, say, how do you put

0:15:06.640 --> 0:15:07.200
<v Speaker 1>that pressure?

0:15:07.560 --> 0:15:11.600
<v Speaker 2>And I think also we just in society, the pressure

0:15:11.600 --> 0:15:16.080
<v Speaker 2>of child raising. Child rearing is on parents now a

0:15:16.120 --> 0:15:20.440
<v Speaker 2>lot more community is especially if you don't live in

0:15:20.480 --> 0:15:24.000
<v Speaker 2>a community like in Zimbabwe, are near parents in your family,

0:15:24.120 --> 0:15:26.720
<v Speaker 2>near a support system, you know that burden falls on

0:15:26.800 --> 0:15:30.800
<v Speaker 2>us parents. So the financial concern is much bigger now

0:15:31.040 --> 0:15:33.680
<v Speaker 2>and so typically you need to work longer to make

0:15:33.720 --> 0:15:37.000
<v Speaker 2>the finances. Do you understand now where we have to

0:15:37.520 --> 0:15:40.320
<v Speaker 2>things are extending because of that, because you know, if

0:15:40.360 --> 0:15:43.120
<v Speaker 2>you have a kid without that financial standing, how are

0:15:43.120 --> 0:15:45.840
<v Speaker 2>you going to take care of them and work without community?

0:15:45.880 --> 0:15:48.960
<v Speaker 1>As Ye, so many factors you think too much? Yeah,

0:15:49.160 --> 0:15:53.360
<v Speaker 1>you think more than you know? Yeah? Yeah, do you reckon?

0:15:53.400 --> 0:15:56.120
<v Speaker 1>It's anyone's business or right to comment on whether or

0:15:56.160 --> 0:15:59.040
<v Speaker 1>not you have kids or in my case, blings for

0:15:59.120 --> 0:15:59.680
<v Speaker 1>my kid.

0:16:01.480 --> 0:16:04.480
<v Speaker 2>If your DNA is going to be it's not going

0:16:04.480 --> 0:16:05.160
<v Speaker 2>to be okay.

0:16:05.200 --> 0:16:07.560
<v Speaker 1>There's also what a grand business?

0:16:07.520 --> 0:16:10.400
<v Speaker 2>And there's also like if you're not going to carry

0:16:10.440 --> 0:16:13.400
<v Speaker 2>the child, like you're not fusing the sperm and the

0:16:13.440 --> 0:16:16.760
<v Speaker 2>egg yourself, or you're not going to walk through the

0:16:16.800 --> 0:16:20.160
<v Speaker 2>adoption process or do you understand? Yeah, I don't think

0:16:20.160 --> 0:16:23.720
<v Speaker 2>it's truly your business. You can allude to wanting to

0:16:23.760 --> 0:16:27.560
<v Speaker 2>saying you would love grandchildren, or love a niece or nephew.

0:16:27.640 --> 0:16:30.800
<v Speaker 1>Or it's great, or to say I will support.

0:16:30.440 --> 0:16:33.560
<v Speaker 2>You in raising your children. You're welcome to do that.

0:16:34.320 --> 0:16:36.360
<v Speaker 2>But as I've just said, because I think the pressure

0:16:36.400 --> 0:16:41.000
<v Speaker 2>falls a lot on the immediate parents, I think ultimately

0:16:41.040 --> 0:16:43.480
<v Speaker 2>that decision needs to be their okay, because there's also

0:16:43.480 --> 0:16:44.280
<v Speaker 2>health issues.

0:16:44.040 --> 0:16:46.000
<v Speaker 1>Right yeah, yeah, yeah, but I mean to play devil's

0:16:46.040 --> 0:16:50.840
<v Speaker 1>advocate as you were. What if it's your partner who's

0:16:50.880 --> 0:16:53.840
<v Speaker 1>commenting on like but I want kids and you don't

0:16:53.960 --> 0:16:56.680
<v Speaker 1>want or you're not on the same page essentially.

0:16:56.920 --> 0:17:00.760
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I mean typically you try to do that before you,

0:17:00.800 --> 0:17:03.400
<v Speaker 2>like partner up or you know, get married.

0:17:03.840 --> 0:17:07.880
<v Speaker 1>How people do do they though conversations?

0:17:08.200 --> 0:17:10.920
<v Speaker 2>It's compromise, right, Like you can be like I'm having

0:17:10.960 --> 0:17:13.440
<v Speaker 2>a kid in like ten years and then the partners

0:17:13.480 --> 0:17:15.919
<v Speaker 2>like I want tomorrow. Like you have to come to

0:17:16.760 --> 0:17:18.960
<v Speaker 2>like a bridging point because then often that leads to

0:17:19.080 --> 0:17:21.080
<v Speaker 2>like complete separation if you can't come.

0:17:21.680 --> 0:17:27.160
<v Speaker 1>I feel like for people who are like undecided or

0:17:27.240 --> 0:17:29.760
<v Speaker 1>someday it's a bit. But there are some people who

0:17:29.800 --> 0:17:34.320
<v Speaker 1>are clear nose. Yeah, And I think unfortunately with the

0:17:34.359 --> 0:17:36.840
<v Speaker 1>way things are set up, the people who are clear

0:17:36.920 --> 0:17:39.200
<v Speaker 1>nose or clear yes is with a clear no person,

0:17:39.880 --> 0:17:42.440
<v Speaker 1>you probably have to, as Rob said, talk about it

0:17:43.680 --> 0:17:47.840
<v Speaker 1>at length before marriage because if your feelings are not

0:17:47.840 --> 0:17:50.800
<v Speaker 1>going to change of no no kids or yes kids

0:17:50.800 --> 0:17:54.640
<v Speaker 1>with a no kids person, yeah, it can definitely lead

0:17:54.680 --> 0:17:56.639
<v Speaker 1>to a lot of bumping heads.

0:17:56.400 --> 0:17:59.120
<v Speaker 2>And resentment and you hold onto the hope they will

0:17:59.200 --> 0:18:01.560
<v Speaker 2>change their mind. You never will, or then.

0:18:01.520 --> 0:18:02.199
<v Speaker 1>You get trapped.

0:18:03.000 --> 0:18:07.400
<v Speaker 2>You like them basketball players, you know what I mean?

0:18:07.640 --> 0:18:10.880
<v Speaker 2>So I think it's only fair. It's not fair if

0:18:10.920 --> 0:18:13.440
<v Speaker 2>you know and mislead the other person.

0:18:13.640 --> 0:18:16.560
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, vice versa. Yeah. And I think speaking on that,

0:18:16.640 --> 0:18:19.840
<v Speaker 1>you know, trapping because you talked about the pressure to procreate,

0:18:19.920 --> 0:18:23.760
<v Speaker 1>some people do feel pressure to my kid would get better,

0:18:23.840 --> 0:18:26.080
<v Speaker 1>would do better. So then obviously they try to put

0:18:26.200 --> 0:18:30.040
<v Speaker 1>position themselves in that way if I marry a basketball

0:18:30.040 --> 0:18:32.320
<v Speaker 1>player or if I get a kid by a basketball player,

0:18:33.880 --> 0:18:36.879
<v Speaker 1>for life. But just sad, very sad.

0:18:37.560 --> 0:18:41.360
<v Speaker 2>And how do you feel like this notion of legacy

0:18:41.760 --> 0:18:42.600
<v Speaker 2>or inheritance?

0:18:43.080 --> 0:18:46.119
<v Speaker 1>Is it outdated? Do you feel like we hold it?

0:18:46.160 --> 0:18:48.800
<v Speaker 1>We put too much legacy? Legacy? Who's that? Jay z?

0:18:48.920 --> 0:18:53.879
<v Speaker 2>Someone said, how is mental health or financial whilst like

0:18:54.040 --> 0:18:57.760
<v Speaker 2>playing its part or living away from your village. You

0:18:57.800 --> 0:19:00.080
<v Speaker 2>know it takes a village to raise a child. How

0:19:00.160 --> 0:19:01.080
<v Speaker 2>is that all playing a part?

0:19:01.480 --> 0:19:01.560
<v Speaker 1>Like?

0:19:01.800 --> 0:19:05.520
<v Speaker 2>Are we all legacy our future generations? Are surnames going

0:19:05.560 --> 0:19:06.880
<v Speaker 2>on for generations to come?

0:19:07.440 --> 0:19:11.639
<v Speaker 1>I definitely think we do put a lot of weight.

0:19:13.320 --> 0:19:15.800
<v Speaker 1>And I think living in despert for me especially, has

0:19:15.840 --> 0:19:18.760
<v Speaker 1>shown me your family does not have to be blood.

0:19:19.720 --> 0:19:24.240
<v Speaker 1>So because of that thinking, it's like then legacy and

0:19:24.320 --> 0:19:28.320
<v Speaker 1>inheritance and you could be killing yourself. I mean both

0:19:28.320 --> 0:19:31.439
<v Speaker 1>of us have you know, parents with farms, killing yourselves

0:19:31.440 --> 0:19:33.680
<v Speaker 1>getting these farms. But do we want to now be

0:19:33.760 --> 0:19:36.400
<v Speaker 1>on your farm? So it's like I feel like before

0:19:36.440 --> 0:19:39.200
<v Speaker 1>it was always assumed in a family business, you carry

0:19:39.200 --> 0:19:42.000
<v Speaker 1>it on assume, I shume assume. But now we're living

0:19:42.000 --> 0:19:45.800
<v Speaker 1>in a world people are open, people are exposed to

0:19:45.880 --> 0:19:49.080
<v Speaker 1>other ideas. So I think the idea that what you're

0:19:49.080 --> 0:19:52.679
<v Speaker 1>doing now in twenty twenty four, twenty five will be

0:19:52.880 --> 0:19:55.280
<v Speaker 1>relevant in twenty forty twenty forty five.

0:19:55.119 --> 0:19:58.959
<v Speaker 2>For your years is yeah, it's might not be. And

0:19:59.080 --> 0:20:04.240
<v Speaker 2>also I think to that point around legacy, it's also changed,

0:20:04.320 --> 0:20:09.120
<v Speaker 2>right because the way and I speak from a millennial standpoint,

0:20:09.600 --> 0:20:12.440
<v Speaker 2>we are now also taking care of our parents, right,

0:20:12.560 --> 0:20:15.320
<v Speaker 2>so there's an onus on us to sort of do

0:20:15.640 --> 0:20:19.520
<v Speaker 2>a lot more for our parents in an economic climate

0:20:19.640 --> 0:20:22.080
<v Speaker 2>that is not what it was when our parents were

0:20:22.400 --> 0:20:28.119
<v Speaker 2>at their peak, you know, earning stage. So sometimes it's.

0:20:27.960 --> 0:20:29.760
<v Speaker 1>Like I need to help them.

0:20:30.160 --> 0:20:32.560
<v Speaker 2>And because coming from a country like Zimbabwe where the

0:20:32.560 --> 0:20:35.919
<v Speaker 2>economy is trash, you really have to step up, and

0:20:35.920 --> 0:20:37.840
<v Speaker 2>then now you have to raise children at the same time.

0:20:38.000 --> 0:20:40.680
<v Speaker 2>Sometimes you're like and provide for other people's children exactly,

0:20:41.960 --> 0:20:44.840
<v Speaker 2>it's not balancing. So you're like, yo, like do you

0:20:44.880 --> 0:20:46.720
<v Speaker 2>want me to have kids? But it's not balancing. I'm

0:20:46.720 --> 0:20:48.760
<v Speaker 2>not going to get that support. Yeah, you know, the

0:20:48.840 --> 0:20:51.040
<v Speaker 2>village support. I'm supporting you.

0:20:51.160 --> 0:20:52.240
<v Speaker 1>Actually, matter of fact.

0:20:52.680 --> 0:20:54.000
<v Speaker 2>And then I have to take care of a child,

0:20:54.119 --> 0:20:58.080
<v Speaker 2>keep myself saying, whilst also keeping a relationship going and

0:20:58.200 --> 0:20:59.440
<v Speaker 2>also a career thriving.

0:20:59.480 --> 0:21:02.520
<v Speaker 1>So I can for all this, yes, And I think

0:21:02.560 --> 0:21:06.000
<v Speaker 1>we've realized that that village costs money, Like you can't

0:21:06.040 --> 0:21:09.040
<v Speaker 1>have it naturally, so the only way to try to

0:21:09.119 --> 0:21:12.399
<v Speaker 1>obtain it is to pay right. And I feel like

0:21:12.680 --> 0:21:16.720
<v Speaker 1>it's just it's such a confronting thought that you want, Okay,

0:21:16.920 --> 0:21:18.200
<v Speaker 1>you want to go on a date night to get

0:21:18.200 --> 0:21:20.040
<v Speaker 1>a babysitter. What are you doing? But you're not going

0:21:20.080 --> 0:21:23.560
<v Speaker 1>to able to be like, oh, mom, dad, come and babysit,

0:21:23.720 --> 0:21:26.479
<v Speaker 1>you know. So it's like all these things that our parents,

0:21:26.480 --> 0:21:29.639
<v Speaker 1>for example, would take for granted are serious things we

0:21:29.840 --> 0:21:30.480
<v Speaker 1>have to have.

0:21:30.440 --> 0:21:34.119
<v Speaker 2>To consider consider And you know, if things were better,

0:21:34.240 --> 0:21:37.000
<v Speaker 2>you'd almost have the support of them saying I will

0:21:37.160 --> 0:21:39.960
<v Speaker 2>you know, take care of or I will help set

0:21:40.000 --> 0:21:41.679
<v Speaker 2>up that trust for your child.

0:21:42.000 --> 0:21:42.280
<v Speaker 1>I will.

0:21:42.320 --> 0:21:46.040
<v Speaker 2>But it's not like that, not like we're not fortunately no.

0:21:45.400 --> 0:21:48.640
<v Speaker 1>No, we're not at that level yet. We might, we're

0:21:48.640 --> 0:21:52.000
<v Speaker 1>striving to be, but definitely a lot of things pull

0:21:52.080 --> 0:21:55.040
<v Speaker 1>us back. And even visas right because you know, like

0:21:55.280 --> 0:21:57.399
<v Speaker 1>even if my parents want to come here and help,

0:21:58.000 --> 0:22:00.000
<v Speaker 1>I'm like, okay, do I get them at three month visa?

0:22:00.720 --> 0:22:02.760
<v Speaker 1>That's the only one that's like freely availed or not

0:22:02.800 --> 0:22:06.240
<v Speaker 1>freely but easily available. And you're thinking, but it's only

0:22:06.280 --> 0:22:08.040
<v Speaker 1>three months, that's gonna go. Like when you're taking care

0:22:08.040 --> 0:22:11.080
<v Speaker 1>of a kids, you want someone for years for sure,

0:22:11.119 --> 0:22:13.280
<v Speaker 1>you know. So it's like even in that, then looking

0:22:13.280 --> 0:22:15.959
<v Speaker 1>at the investment of like those year visas is like

0:22:16.400 --> 0:22:19.760
<v Speaker 1>the cost so it's like so prohibitive. Even if you

0:22:19.840 --> 0:22:22.600
<v Speaker 1>do have people who were willing and can be that village, yes,

0:22:22.640 --> 0:22:24.439
<v Speaker 1>it ends up coming down to money.

0:22:24.840 --> 0:22:27.159
<v Speaker 2>And then how does it feel for you as a

0:22:27.240 --> 0:22:32.439
<v Speaker 2>mom when you see other people with their village. And

0:22:32.480 --> 0:22:35.879
<v Speaker 2>that's something that I don't think we really talk about,

0:22:36.840 --> 0:22:39.920
<v Speaker 2>where you see people who maybe have never had the

0:22:40.000 --> 0:22:44.520
<v Speaker 2>experience of being separated from community, and they automatically. For me,

0:22:44.560 --> 0:22:46.000
<v Speaker 2>it was when I was a teacher and I would

0:22:46.000 --> 0:22:49.200
<v Speaker 2>see grandparents come, like like grandparents from the mom's side

0:22:49.240 --> 0:22:52.280
<v Speaker 2>coming to drop off in the morning, or the.

0:22:52.400 --> 0:22:53.920
<v Speaker 1>Grandparents on the dad's side coming to.

0:22:53.840 --> 0:22:56.439
<v Speaker 2>Pick up in the afternoon, showing up for plays, the

0:22:56.560 --> 0:22:59.679
<v Speaker 2>mom coming this time, like just that rotation and that

0:23:00.040 --> 0:23:05.240
<v Speaker 2>closeness and cousins and proximity, and you see that things

0:23:05.320 --> 0:23:09.680
<v Speaker 2>we were fortunate to have growing up that have now standard.

0:23:10.160 --> 0:23:13.600
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, how do you feel, Oh, there's how the heartbreak

0:23:13.640 --> 0:23:16.600
<v Speaker 1>you feel. Like as the day care which Jerome goes to,

0:23:16.640 --> 0:23:19.239
<v Speaker 1>they have grandparents day and you come and read, and

0:23:19.800 --> 0:23:22.639
<v Speaker 1>the heartbreak you feel when your kid doesn't ask someone

0:23:22.720 --> 0:23:25.320
<v Speaker 1>to represent them. Then you think, okay, do I go,

0:23:25.720 --> 0:23:28.200
<v Speaker 1>but I'm not a grandparent. And then you know, like

0:23:29.680 --> 0:23:35.679
<v Speaker 1>its thankfully with Australia being so full of migrants, you

0:23:35.760 --> 0:23:37.439
<v Speaker 1>know your kid is not the only one. There's going

0:23:37.480 --> 0:23:39.640
<v Speaker 1>to be another kid there and they're probably gonna sit

0:23:39.640 --> 0:23:42.560
<v Speaker 1>there in solidarity as the kids who don't have grandparents.

0:23:42.840 --> 0:23:47.120
<v Speaker 1>But it's still heartbreaking. You know. There's a different heartbreak

0:23:47.119 --> 0:23:49.440
<v Speaker 1>of course for those who don't have grandparents at all,

0:23:49.840 --> 0:23:52.400
<v Speaker 1>but when you do have them, but they're not there.

0:23:52.440 --> 0:23:55.560
<v Speaker 1>There's also a heartbreak for that where it's like I

0:23:55.600 --> 0:23:59.480
<v Speaker 1>couldn't even you know, try and to facilitate this, you know,

0:24:00.000 --> 0:24:01.320
<v Speaker 1>and then you hold on to the little moments and

0:24:01.400 --> 0:24:04.680
<v Speaker 1>you go visit family or so. I feel like people

0:24:04.680 --> 0:24:08.280
<v Speaker 1>don't know how good they have it, yes, until you

0:24:08.320 --> 0:24:10.080
<v Speaker 1>know how good you have it, you know what I mean,

0:24:10.160 --> 0:24:13.399
<v Speaker 1>until you hear someone else saying how are you handling this?

0:24:13.560 --> 0:24:15.640
<v Speaker 1>Like they're going on and on about oh my mom

0:24:15.680 --> 0:24:18.080
<v Speaker 1>can only do pick up and not this, and I'm like, well,

0:24:18.119 --> 0:24:19.720
<v Speaker 1>at least she's there, you know. And it's hard to

0:24:19.760 --> 0:24:22.040
<v Speaker 1>have those conversations with people right and not sound bitter.

0:24:22.600 --> 0:24:26.639
<v Speaker 1>But you're not bitter. You're just talking stating fats you

0:24:26.760 --> 0:24:29.679
<v Speaker 1>know that. Oh for me, it's completely set up differently.

0:24:30.040 --> 0:24:30.800
<v Speaker 1>Is that privilege?

0:24:31.920 --> 0:24:35.200
<v Speaker 2>Privilege that sometimes you're not aware of until you're aware

0:24:35.200 --> 0:24:37.360
<v Speaker 2>of Like someone else says, oh that's not normal for me.

0:24:37.440 --> 0:24:39.760
<v Speaker 1>Yeah yeah yeah. And then like even when you're talking

0:24:39.760 --> 0:24:42.760
<v Speaker 1>about people commenting on whether to give a sibling or not,

0:24:42.840 --> 0:24:44.800
<v Speaker 1>you're like, well, I want them to be in touch

0:24:44.840 --> 0:24:48.000
<v Speaker 1>with their German or Zimbabwean side. That's going to cost yes.

0:24:48.119 --> 0:24:50.560
<v Speaker 1>So now it's like either I give them a sibling

0:24:50.880 --> 0:24:54.280
<v Speaker 1>or and they never see their actual other family. Yeah,

0:24:54.320 --> 0:24:56.359
<v Speaker 1>and not to mention the fact that, you know, do

0:24:56.400 --> 0:24:58.640
<v Speaker 1>you actually want another child in the house, but even

0:24:58.720 --> 0:25:02.480
<v Speaker 1>just the logistics and nancers around that, and people talk

0:25:02.520 --> 0:25:06.159
<v Speaker 1>to you as if you've not considered it. You're like people.

0:25:06.280 --> 0:25:09.280
<v Speaker 2>I really think people move around in this world thinking

0:25:09.359 --> 0:25:13.159
<v Speaker 2>that them saying to you, oh, you better have a

0:25:13.240 --> 0:25:15.920
<v Speaker 2>kid soon because you know, like time is running out,

0:25:16.160 --> 0:25:17.320
<v Speaker 2>Like you do not know.

0:25:17.280 --> 0:25:19.639
<v Speaker 1>That, yeah, and like I have thought about that, and

0:25:19.680 --> 0:25:21.480
<v Speaker 1>this is how And I feel like also there's this

0:25:21.520 --> 0:25:25.000
<v Speaker 1>whole trench mentality, whether it's to have kids or not

0:25:25.080 --> 0:25:27.399
<v Speaker 1>have kids, where it's like I've made this decision, you

0:25:27.520 --> 0:25:31.119
<v Speaker 1>make the same as me, So you know, yeah, together

0:25:31.840 --> 0:25:32.600
<v Speaker 1>no sense.

0:25:32.520 --> 0:25:34.080
<v Speaker 2>But you ain't gonna be up at one am. But

0:25:34.119 --> 0:25:38.720
<v Speaker 2>that's a topic for another day. And so with blended

0:25:38.760 --> 0:25:42.960
<v Speaker 2>families now more common in modern society, or other forms

0:25:43.000 --> 0:25:47.000
<v Speaker 2>of parenting like fostering, adoption, black tax, which really is

0:25:47.000 --> 0:25:51.000
<v Speaker 2>like raising other people, you know, kids, taking care of

0:25:51.080 --> 0:25:53.159
<v Speaker 2>other family members and so on and so forth, is

0:25:53.160 --> 0:25:55.560
<v Speaker 2>there a need to have kids of our own given

0:25:55.600 --> 0:25:58.840
<v Speaker 2>this plethora of responsibility that we've been well endowed with

0:25:59.280 --> 0:26:01.840
<v Speaker 2>and blessed in our modern society.

0:26:01.920 --> 0:26:04.120
<v Speaker 1>You know, practically, I probably say, no, you don't need

0:26:04.160 --> 0:26:07.320
<v Speaker 1>to write. I'm sure there's lots and lots of kids

0:26:07.320 --> 0:26:10.720
<v Speaker 1>that need loving homes. Yes, But I think it's going

0:26:10.760 --> 0:26:14.639
<v Speaker 1>back to your point. There's something innate in us to

0:26:14.720 --> 0:26:19.080
<v Speaker 1>have your own if possible. So I think that's why

0:26:19.080 --> 0:26:21.960
<v Speaker 1>we always revert to it. You know, people who do

0:26:22.119 --> 0:26:26.600
<v Speaker 1>end up adopting or fostering or bonus moms or you know,

0:26:26.800 --> 0:26:30.720
<v Speaker 1>it's almost happens. Thats like it just happens, or after

0:26:30.760 --> 0:26:33.080
<v Speaker 1>they've had a few of their own and they think, oh,

0:26:33.160 --> 0:26:35.880
<v Speaker 1>I really like doing this, they now look into other

0:26:36.400 --> 0:26:40.040
<v Speaker 1>But our first point of call is always your own.

0:26:40.880 --> 0:26:42.840
<v Speaker 1>And I don't know if that's a genetic trying to

0:26:42.960 --> 0:26:47.680
<v Speaker 1>keep your own genes going or it's but yeah, there's

0:26:47.680 --> 0:26:49.080
<v Speaker 1>no need, there's no need.

0:26:49.640 --> 0:26:52.600
<v Speaker 2>But I do think the fact that we've come from

0:26:52.720 --> 0:26:55.760
<v Speaker 2>the Stone Age or Adam and Eve, whatever you believe,

0:26:57.040 --> 0:27:00.560
<v Speaker 2>to this point, and we continue to create, I think

0:27:00.560 --> 0:27:05.080
<v Speaker 2>it speaks to the non logical aspect of us as humans.

0:27:05.080 --> 0:27:08.879
<v Speaker 2>I think we over intelligize, if that's a word, Like,

0:27:08.920 --> 0:27:12.320
<v Speaker 2>we really look at ourselves as really educated and informed,

0:27:12.840 --> 0:27:18.479
<v Speaker 2>but we often ignore the sort of animalistic sense, the

0:27:18.520 --> 0:27:23.640
<v Speaker 2>primal aspects of ourselves, which is relationship and the need

0:27:23.760 --> 0:27:27.479
<v Speaker 2>for relation, and that we are wired to want to

0:27:27.520 --> 0:27:30.600
<v Speaker 2>have these connections. And I think, you know, speaking on

0:27:30.640 --> 0:27:34.920
<v Speaker 2>our other episode on the Internet and connection, I think

0:27:35.800 --> 0:27:40.040
<v Speaker 2>we do desire that human one on one interaction, even

0:27:40.080 --> 0:27:42.439
<v Speaker 2>though the society makes it feel like we don't need it.

0:27:42.920 --> 0:27:47.560
<v Speaker 2>So ultimately, I think that decision sometimes doesn't make logical

0:27:47.600 --> 0:27:50.439
<v Speaker 2>sense because I've been pondering this, like why do we

0:27:50.480 --> 0:27:50.840
<v Speaker 2>have kids?

0:27:50.880 --> 0:27:53.200
<v Speaker 1>Why do we want kids? Why do I want kids?

0:27:53.200 --> 0:27:54.000
<v Speaker 1>Do I want kids?

0:27:54.680 --> 0:27:55.720
<v Speaker 2>How can I have kids?

0:27:55.800 --> 0:27:55.919
<v Speaker 1>Like?

0:27:56.200 --> 0:27:59.240
<v Speaker 2>But I think ultimately sometimes the answer isn't logical, and

0:27:59.280 --> 0:28:04.080
<v Speaker 2>I think sometimes try to over complicate and analyze the

0:28:04.160 --> 0:28:07.600
<v Speaker 2>decision that comes from it. It's just something that something

0:28:07.640 --> 0:28:10.920
<v Speaker 2>that is is yeah, And it's scary because humans we

0:28:10.920 --> 0:28:12.240
<v Speaker 2>always want the reason but why?

0:28:12.359 --> 0:28:12.760
<v Speaker 1>But why?

0:28:12.840 --> 0:28:14.760
<v Speaker 2>But and science has told us that we always need

0:28:14.800 --> 0:28:16.159
<v Speaker 2>to know the why why why?

0:28:17.880 --> 0:28:19.359
<v Speaker 1>And so I.

0:28:19.280 --> 0:28:23.040
<v Speaker 2>Think if you feel it in you that maybe I

0:28:23.080 --> 0:28:25.639
<v Speaker 2>could be a parent, or I think this would be nice,

0:28:26.119 --> 0:28:28.560
<v Speaker 2>or if you fall into it, sometimes right, it's like

0:28:28.640 --> 0:28:31.080
<v Speaker 2>then you're just forced into that. But I think if

0:28:31.119 --> 0:28:34.720
<v Speaker 2>for you, centuries we've continued it's like it's.

0:28:34.480 --> 0:28:36.879
<v Speaker 1>Like why but then also why not right? Not?

0:28:39.320 --> 0:28:42.680
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, but it's fun being an aunt. Yes, I enjoyed that.

0:28:42.680 --> 0:28:44.960
<v Speaker 1>I still enjoy being more of an aunt than the moment.

0:28:45.360 --> 0:28:47.040
<v Speaker 1>It was a lot of fun, but it was also

0:28:47.120 --> 0:28:52.160
<v Speaker 1>fun being a mom. Like, there's definitely some aspects of

0:28:52.200 --> 0:28:53.840
<v Speaker 1>it where I'm like, you know, you get to be

0:28:53.880 --> 0:28:57.480
<v Speaker 1>a kid again, you get to the things you sustress about.

0:28:57.480 --> 0:29:00.600
<v Speaker 1>Now I'm just like, so chill, Yeah, I'm sure you know.

0:29:02.120 --> 0:29:05.160
<v Speaker 1>I don't know. It's just it. But having said that's

0:29:05.240 --> 0:29:08.080
<v Speaker 1>my journey, there's some people who find it highly strong,

0:29:08.280 --> 0:29:12.880
<v Speaker 1>highly strong, highly so it's such a thing because, as

0:29:12.880 --> 0:29:15.080
<v Speaker 1>are saying at the top of the episode, if people

0:29:15.200 --> 0:29:20.640
<v Speaker 1>know now would they But honestly, you can't or probably

0:29:20.680 --> 0:29:23.800
<v Speaker 1>can't without that village we spoke of, yeah, to make

0:29:23.840 --> 0:29:24.560
<v Speaker 1>it work anyway.

0:29:24.720 --> 0:29:26.680
<v Speaker 2>Well, I don't know if this conversation helped you decide

0:29:26.720 --> 0:29:28.600
<v Speaker 2>whether or not you want to have kids. If you do,

0:29:28.720 --> 0:29:31.479
<v Speaker 2>it might be too late. If not, good luck. But

0:29:31.560 --> 0:29:32.320
<v Speaker 2>I think it's just.

0:29:32.440 --> 0:29:35.080
<v Speaker 1>And you can also be rich anti vibes. Where nothing

0:29:35.160 --> 0:29:39.440
<v Speaker 1>wrong with that. Every kid needs to be spoilt. Yes, yes, yes,

0:29:39.880 --> 0:29:41.880
<v Speaker 1>I think you know. Look, if you're rich anti vibes

0:29:41.960 --> 0:29:45.120
<v Speaker 1>or whatever. Not having kids and you worry for your future,

0:29:45.160 --> 0:29:49.040
<v Speaker 1>thinking you'll be alone, invest on those relationships. True, that's actually,

0:29:49.200 --> 0:29:52.800
<v Speaker 1>you know, there's lots of kids out there who do

0:29:53.360 --> 0:29:56.760
<v Speaker 1>want that connection. And again, family is not always blood,

0:29:56.960 --> 0:30:01.640
<v Speaker 1>so there's avenues to enjoy communit unity without actually and

0:30:01.720 --> 0:30:05.400
<v Speaker 1>sometimes I am very envious of people slapping in, so

0:30:05.560 --> 0:30:09.600
<v Speaker 1>enjoy it. Definitely. Thank you, Thank you everyone, Thank you

0:30:09.640 --> 0:30:13.400
<v Speaker 1>so much for tuning in. At you on the next episode. Bye,