WEBVTT - WE ARE BACK BABY! Did he put a ring on it? And taking swipes at your ex 0:00:00.160 --> 0:00:03.800 Life Uncut acknowledges the traditional custodians of country whose lands 0:00:03.840 --> 0:00:06.520 were never seated. We pay our respects to their elders 0:00:06.559 --> 0:00:07.600 past and present. 0:00:07.560 --> 0:00:11.399 Always was, always will be Aboriginal Land. This episode was 0:00:11.440 --> 0:00:24.200 recorded on de rug Wallamata Land. Hi guys, and welcome 0:00:24.239 --> 0:00:25.959 back to another episode of Life Uncut. 0:00:26.000 --> 0:00:30.440 I'm Laura. I'm Frittney, and this feels a little bit weird. 0:00:30.520 --> 0:00:32.640 I feel like you swear to God, you have like 0:00:32.800 --> 0:00:34.720 three or four weeks off Matts and you feel like 0:00:34.720 --> 0:00:36.599 you've got your learning plates back on. Well. 0:00:36.640 --> 0:00:37.960 I mean, the reason why we feel like that is 0:00:37.960 --> 0:00:40.400 because you're not in the fucking country. Britta and I 0:00:40.440 --> 0:00:43.800 are always in studio together. We can always touch each other. 0:00:43.880 --> 0:00:45.280 I can rub my feet on her. 0:00:45.600 --> 0:00:49.320 I can see you always put gangrenous toes all over me, 0:00:49.360 --> 0:00:51.159 and it's disgusting. That's why I had to move to 0:00:51.200 --> 0:00:53.240 the other side of the world temporarily, Laura, to get away 0:00:53.240 --> 0:00:57.440 from your rank feet is not the only reason gangrenes toes. 0:00:57.640 --> 0:00:59.320 Oh no, I fell in love to, but also your 0:00:59.320 --> 0:01:00.720 feet a bit of me. 0:01:00.960 --> 0:01:02.960 Britt is still in Scotland. She's staying over there for 0:01:03.000 --> 0:01:04.760 a couple more weeks. I think you're coming back on 0:01:04.840 --> 0:01:06.560 like the ninth of February, isn't it. 0:01:06.800 --> 0:01:08.480 Yeah, I've got like two weeks left. 0:01:08.520 --> 0:01:10.520 I mean, are we in different hemispheres? I don't even know. 0:01:10.720 --> 0:01:13.480 Yes we are. Everyone's smiling because I'm an idiot. He 0:01:13.520 --> 0:01:14.440 should keep that in. 0:01:16.920 --> 0:01:19.480 Laura. Are we in different countries? What language do they 0:01:19.480 --> 0:01:20.560 speak over in Scotland? 0:01:22.800 --> 0:01:25.600 Would you believe that I didn't do very well in 0:01:25.640 --> 0:01:27.480 geography at school? Would you believe that? 0:01:27.680 --> 0:01:30.800 Shock? Horror? I no, no, I'm shocked. Do you know 0:01:30.840 --> 0:01:33.680 what's funny? My family came over to Scotland for Christmas, 0:01:33.800 --> 0:01:36.560 and Ben's family came and we all met. Was wonderful, 0:01:36.640 --> 0:01:40.160 is beautiful, But his family is Swiss. My family's obviously 0:01:40.200 --> 0:01:44.640 all Australian and everyone could understand everyone, except no one 0:01:44.720 --> 0:01:47.040 could understand my dad. Everyone thought my dad was speaking 0:01:47.080 --> 0:01:49.720 another language. Not even your own family can understand your dad. 0:01:49.760 --> 0:01:52.360 So I understand why that he gets really relaxed. He 0:01:52.360 --> 0:01:54.640 has a drink and he goes full like he's so 0:01:55.160 --> 0:01:57.920 aussy oka is that what you call it? Like a 0:01:58.080 --> 0:02:00.640 real because he's not bogan, that's not the word. He's 0:02:00.640 --> 0:02:02.760 not boging at all, but he's real. Ock us everyone 0:02:02.840 --> 0:02:04.640 was like, what language are you speaking. Dad's like, what 0:02:04.720 --> 0:02:08.320 are you talking about? It's English, It's Australian nothing. 0:02:08.600 --> 0:02:11.200 No, no, He's like, I'm talking Central Cops, Harbor. That's 0:02:11.200 --> 0:02:13.480 what this is what McCray, you're always so hurry? Yes, 0:02:15.600 --> 0:02:18.240 I told you geography not my strong point. 0:02:18.320 --> 0:02:20.399 We've been doing this now for four and a half years, 0:02:20.440 --> 0:02:23.480 five hundred episodes. We see each other every day, speak 0:02:23.480 --> 0:02:25.800 every day, and you always forget where I'm from. 0:02:26.200 --> 0:02:28.320 Yeah, I'm not going to try and defend myself because 0:02:28.320 --> 0:02:30.600 it's kind of true. This is our very first episode back. 0:02:30.639 --> 0:02:33.680 We've had four weeks off. If you haven't listened to them. 0:02:33.720 --> 0:02:36.040 Over the last couple of weeks, we were posting some 0:02:36.160 --> 0:02:38.880 of our live show conversations, so we had Michael King, 0:02:39.040 --> 0:02:41.480 we had lerd pull In, we had Flex Marmi Drop. 0:02:41.720 --> 0:02:44.880 All of that was new content from and recorded at 0:02:44.880 --> 0:02:46.480 the live shows that we did. These were some of 0:02:46.520 --> 0:02:48.400 our favorite ones, So if you haven't had a chance 0:02:48.400 --> 0:02:51.320 to go back and listen to those, please do. But 0:02:51.400 --> 0:02:54.200 we are back and resuming normal scheduling now. 0:02:54.360 --> 0:02:56.320 Well, we did try at the end last year. For 0:02:56.360 --> 0:02:59.160 a month we decided to try splitting up our episodes 0:02:59.160 --> 0:03:01.160 a little bit, so that Tuesday was now just to 0:03:01.280 --> 0:03:04.400 catch up. Wednesday was the interview, Thursday was UK gun cut, 0:03:04.440 --> 0:03:07.200 and then Sunday was out radio episode, And it was 0:03:07.240 --> 0:03:09.960 like a month long, two month long trial. See how 0:03:10.000 --> 0:03:12.400 we felt, see how you felt, and we've decided to 0:03:12.440 --> 0:03:12.799 keep it. 0:03:12.919 --> 0:03:13.440 We love it. 0:03:13.560 --> 0:03:15.240 We asked you for your feedback. You love it a 0:03:15.280 --> 0:03:17.520 lot as well. And I think it's easier to have 0:03:17.600 --> 0:03:20.040 the interview separated so that if you just feel like 0:03:20.080 --> 0:03:21.960 an interview one day, you can go to it. If 0:03:22.000 --> 0:03:23.840 you just feel like having a little laugh and some 0:03:23.919 --> 0:03:25.920 bands with us, you can go straight there. I'm really 0:03:26.000 --> 0:03:27.000 vibing the new setup. 0:03:27.080 --> 0:03:29.680 The thing that we were experiencing with having the Tuesday 0:03:29.720 --> 0:03:33.320 episodes being so big and doing like the life and 0:03:33.360 --> 0:03:36.000 the conversation and the whatever's happening in the world catched 0:03:36.040 --> 0:03:38.400 up at the start and then going into a topic. 0:03:38.800 --> 0:03:40.560 What that often meant is that if you guys were 0:03:40.560 --> 0:03:43.400 sharing an episode with your friends, because maybe we're talking 0:03:43.440 --> 0:03:46.440 about boundaries, maybe we were talking about cheating, whatever the 0:03:46.480 --> 0:03:49.800 conversation was in that episode, people had to listen to 0:03:49.840 --> 0:03:52.600 twenty five minutes first to try and get to that content. 0:03:52.920 --> 0:03:55.400 And we understand that that's not for everyone. So that 0:03:55.560 --> 0:03:57.640 was the main reason why we decided to break down 0:03:57.720 --> 0:04:01.200 these episodes. So Tuesday this is it, this is just us, 0:04:01.240 --> 0:04:03.320 and we'll unpack something that's happening in the world or 0:04:03.320 --> 0:04:06.760 something that has spiked interest for us. And it's just 0:04:06.800 --> 0:04:08.400 going to be Britt and Eye on these episodes, and 0:04:08.400 --> 0:04:10.200 then we're going to get into it with the Wednesdays 0:04:10.240 --> 0:04:12.160 being just the interviews. So that way, if there is 0:04:12.200 --> 0:04:14.160 something that you think you need to share with your friends, 0:04:14.560 --> 0:04:16.040 you don't have to and they don't have to listen 0:04:16.040 --> 0:04:17.920 to us kind of babalon for twenty five minutes at 0:04:17.920 --> 0:04:18.320 the start. 0:04:18.800 --> 0:04:21.680 Yeah, and also now on the Thursday, we've decided to 0:04:21.800 --> 0:04:26.440 keep Thursday pretty much purely asked uncut because you guys 0:04:26.440 --> 0:04:28.400 seem to really love that episode, and we're going to 0:04:28.520 --> 0:04:30.560 keep all the babble and the shit talk on the 0:04:30.600 --> 0:04:32.880 Tuesday and Thursdays. We're gonna add some more questions and 0:04:32.880 --> 0:04:34.960 make them a bit more juicy bit media. So I'm 0:04:34.960 --> 0:04:35.720 looking forward to it. 0:04:35.880 --> 0:04:37.840 Yeah. All right, well, okay, bit of a catch up 0:04:37.839 --> 0:04:39.920 in terms of what has been happening over the past 0:04:39.960 --> 0:04:43.760 four weeks because Britt I well, I mean I spent 0:04:43.800 --> 0:04:45.520 most of my holiday in bed, but we'll get into 0:04:45.520 --> 0:04:47.560 that in a second. I feel like I have been 0:04:47.640 --> 0:04:49.919 kept up to speed with your life via social media, 0:04:50.000 --> 0:04:51.839 so I do feel like I know everything that has happened. 0:04:51.839 --> 0:04:55.679 And obviously we've spoken heaves, but as we do most recordings, 0:04:55.720 --> 0:04:57.919 we try and keep things a secret so that we 0:04:57.920 --> 0:04:59.680 can talk about it for the first time on the podcast. 0:05:00.000 --> 0:05:02.280 But you took that to the extreme. So Laura and 0:05:02.320 --> 0:05:05.040 I were texting. We follow each other on Socials, but 0:05:05.120 --> 0:05:07.200 I hadn't logged on for a little while too, Socials 0:05:07.240 --> 0:05:10.240 whilst I was on holiday. Anyway, long story short, Laura 0:05:10.240 --> 0:05:12.680 and I are texting and then I think I said 0:05:12.680 --> 0:05:14.320 to you, like have you been going out much? How 0:05:14.400 --> 0:05:16.400 is your Christmas? Blah blah blah blah, And you said, oh, no, 0:05:16.640 --> 0:05:18.960 I'm dying of pneumonia. I've been in hospital. And I'm 0:05:19.000 --> 0:05:21.440 like what You're like, Oh, I'm almost on the mend. 0:05:21.440 --> 0:05:23.279 It's two weeks of like my deathbed. And I was like, 0:05:23.320 --> 0:05:26.960 how have you This is you keeping secrets to the extreme, Like, 0:05:27.000 --> 0:05:29.280 if you're going to pass away and I'm going to 0:05:29.320 --> 0:05:31.280 be left solo hosting this podcast, I. 0:05:31.279 --> 0:05:34.320 Probably need to be informed produce as is in the winds, 0:05:34.360 --> 0:05:36.800 and she's like, I'm here, don't worry. If someone dies, 0:05:36.839 --> 0:05:39.760 I'm ready to go roll me out. She said, I 0:05:39.760 --> 0:05:43.520 wouldn't do that to you. You would, you absolutely would. I, 0:05:44.040 --> 0:05:45.080 to be fair, did not. 0:05:45.120 --> 0:05:50.440 Keep your funeral, Like, what's your podcast episode? While we bury? 0:05:50.480 --> 0:05:52.400 Laura would get good hits. 0:05:52.440 --> 0:05:54.360 Though if I died, that would be a pretty well 0:05:54.400 --> 0:05:55.240 downloaded episode. 0:05:55.279 --> 0:05:58.279 I reckon if one of us passes away, I give 0:05:58.320 --> 0:06:00.840 you permission to do an epod sewed at my funeral 0:06:00.880 --> 0:06:02.520 if you want. Do we do it before or do 0:06:02.640 --> 0:06:03.120 we do it after? 0:06:03.160 --> 0:06:06.479 Probably after, so that we can recap it before I die, 0:06:07.600 --> 0:06:09.960 before the funeral, the whole thing. 0:06:10.000 --> 0:06:10.799 I think a live stream. 0:06:10.960 --> 0:06:12.760 I'm glad that we've established that the reason why I 0:06:12.760 --> 0:06:15.080 didn't tell you guys wasn't not because I was trying 0:06:15.120 --> 0:06:18.920 to keep content for the podcast. I was so so 0:06:19.080 --> 0:06:21.280 sick that I didn't get out of bed for about 0:06:21.600 --> 0:06:25.000 maybe twelve thirteen days. I just I didn't even really 0:06:25.040 --> 0:06:27.279 wake up. I just kind of stayed in bed. Matt 0:06:28.080 --> 0:06:30.400 Matt was given in a coma. 0:06:30.440 --> 0:06:34.080 I was self induced coma. Matt was incredible. 0:06:34.160 --> 0:06:37.000 He did everything, He took the kids, He just managed 0:06:37.040 --> 0:06:39.359 the house. He got them out of the house so 0:06:39.400 --> 0:06:41.120 that I didn't have to, like so that I could sleep, 0:06:41.360 --> 0:06:44.520 But it was just this unrelenting cough. And then it 0:06:44.600 --> 0:06:47.760 must have been maybe two weeks ago now, on a Sunday. 0:06:47.800 --> 0:06:49.920 I woke up this one and had been getting progressively 0:06:49.920 --> 0:06:52.760 worse every day, couldn't stop coughing. Thought I had really 0:06:52.760 --> 0:06:55.000 bad asthma, and like maybe the flu. And then I 0:06:55.040 --> 0:06:57.800 woke up this one day and I could not breathe, 0:06:57.839 --> 0:06:59.520 like I just couldn't get any air in my lungs, 0:06:59.560 --> 0:07:02.400 I couldn't stop coughing. Then I was feeling all panicky 0:07:02.440 --> 0:07:04.520 because I couldn't breathe, and I was like, maybe I'm 0:07:04.520 --> 0:07:06.880 having a panic attack. I ended up the hospital and 0:07:07.960 --> 0:07:09.679 had chest X ray, dared and all that, lots of stuff, 0:07:09.720 --> 0:07:14.000 and they gave me some hectic antibiotics. But also so 0:07:14.080 --> 0:07:15.960 I had this moment like when I say, Matt really 0:07:16.000 --> 0:07:18.760 stepped up to the plate, Like I think that when 0:07:18.840 --> 0:07:21.440 you're sick, it's a real indicator as to how good 0:07:21.480 --> 0:07:25.000 your partner is. Because some partners really step up, they 0:07:25.080 --> 0:07:28.040 care for you, they do the work. Other partners they 0:07:28.160 --> 0:07:30.760 start off good and then they trail off real quick. 0:07:30.800 --> 0:07:33.280 And I think it's an indicator of having a great partner. 0:07:33.840 --> 0:07:36.800 There was this one moment where I realized. I was like, oh, 0:07:37.040 --> 0:07:40.200 Matt as a keeper. This man loves me. And let 0:07:40.240 --> 0:07:42.840 me tell you, it wasn't getting married or having children 0:07:42.920 --> 0:07:44.720 that made me realize this. You would have thought I 0:07:44.720 --> 0:07:47.600 would have been there. But one day I was coughing 0:07:47.680 --> 0:07:49.440 and then I started throwing up, and then I threw 0:07:49.520 --> 0:07:51.440 up in the bathroom and I threw up in the sink. 0:07:51.600 --> 0:07:53.480 And if you've ever thrown up in the sink, it's 0:07:53.520 --> 0:07:55.160 kind of gross because then you've got a fish out all. 0:07:55.040 --> 0:07:57.000 The bits, and it like, like, is it the skinny drain? 0:07:57.040 --> 0:07:58.200 The big hole drain? We have? 0:07:58.280 --> 0:08:00.440 Like the tiny drain that's got like the plug over 0:08:00.440 --> 0:08:02.320 the top of it so only water goes down to 0:08:02.400 --> 0:08:05.360 protect the plumbing. And here it was a sink full 0:08:05.360 --> 0:08:08.600 of spaghetti arabiata. And he walked in and he looked 0:08:08.640 --> 0:08:10.360 at me, and you could see on his face he 0:08:10.480 --> 0:08:13.640 was like, why the sink. The toilet is right there, 0:08:14.120 --> 0:08:16.040 And he didn't say anything, and he went and he 0:08:16.080 --> 0:08:18.280 got a cup and he just patted my back and 0:08:18.320 --> 0:08:20.080 then he stood there with a cup in a bucket 0:08:20.320 --> 0:08:22.160 and he fished it out of the sink. And I 0:08:22.200 --> 0:08:23.800 know this is very graphic, and I'm very sorry if 0:08:23.840 --> 0:08:26.400 you're someone who is vomit squeamish. But I was on 0:08:26.480 --> 0:08:28.160 the floor of the bathroom that day and I was like, 0:08:28.280 --> 0:08:29.720 this man, he loves me. 0:08:29.960 --> 0:08:32.280 That is one hundred percent, without doubt love. But I 0:08:32.320 --> 0:08:36.680 also know that level of illness where you don't even care, 0:08:36.920 --> 0:08:39.000 like when you're laying on the ground, like, correct me 0:08:39.000 --> 0:08:41.400 if you've never done this, I have an eye that 0:08:41.440 --> 0:08:43.000 happened to a friend. When you're laying on the ground 0:08:43.000 --> 0:08:45.240 and you're just like when you have hectic gashtro when 0:08:45.280 --> 0:08:47.600 you're that sick, you don't care where it comes out. 0:08:47.760 --> 0:08:50.439 You're like, I could not careless, Like that's future me problem. 0:08:50.640 --> 0:08:51.920 I think you're on your own. 0:08:52.080 --> 0:08:54.880 I think I would care regardless. Actually, no, I take 0:08:54.920 --> 0:08:56.760 that back, because like ninety percent of women who have 0:08:56.760 --> 0:08:58.560 given birth have done a poo in front of their partner, 0:08:58.600 --> 0:09:00.880 and like, you don't care, you think you will. Every 0:09:00.920 --> 0:09:03.520 single person who goes into pregnancy and birthing thinks, oh 0:09:03.600 --> 0:09:06.440 my god, what if I pooh in front of my partner? God, 0:09:06.440 --> 0:09:09.319 that's embarrassing. And then as it's happening, you're like, whatever, 0:09:09.559 --> 0:09:10.080 deal with it. 0:09:10.320 --> 0:09:13.080 Speaking of I did try and keep up to date 0:09:13.120 --> 0:09:14.760 well with what was happening in your life, Like I 0:09:14.760 --> 0:09:16.360 did a few Google searches every now and again. See 0:09:16.400 --> 0:09:17.880 I there are any pap photos of you at the beach, 0:09:17.960 --> 0:09:19.600 just seeing like what you and the family were doing. 0:09:19.640 --> 0:09:22.360 I thought, you're cute. I'll just follow them from the baparazzi. 0:09:22.840 --> 0:09:24.400 I'm sorry. If you want to keep up to date 0:09:24.440 --> 0:09:26.040 with what's happening in my life, you don't have to 0:09:26.040 --> 0:09:27.640 look at the news, believe it or not. 0:09:29.240 --> 0:09:32.040 Well I didn't. I decided, look, the time difference was 0:09:32.040 --> 0:09:33.560 too hard. I wasn't gonna calling wake you up. It 0:09:33.600 --> 0:09:35.120 was just like a fleeting moment. I'll give you a 0:09:35.160 --> 0:09:37.360 Google And the first thing that comes up, which I'm 0:09:37.440 --> 0:09:40.960 so honored to know, was that you Laura Byrne did 0:09:41.000 --> 0:09:44.160 a four point five Q shit and told mad about it. 0:09:44.200 --> 0:09:46.640 That was the headline of the Daily Mail article. And 0:09:46.679 --> 0:09:48.840 I was like, what the fuck have I missed? 0:09:49.360 --> 0:09:52.520 Explain that Keisha's looking shocked as though she hasn't you 0:09:52.559 --> 0:09:56.040 didn't know this, So Matt and I created a skit video. 0:09:56.360 --> 0:09:59.320 The skit video was very much satire, but I think 0:09:59.360 --> 0:10:02.480 some people don't understand what satire is, and that's okay. 0:10:02.600 --> 0:10:05.200 You know, I don't know geography. Some people don't know satire. 0:10:05.480 --> 0:10:08.280 The satirical skit was around how when you first get 0:10:08.280 --> 0:10:11.800 into a relationship and you're dating, you are on absolute 0:10:11.920 --> 0:10:13.760 best behavior, right, So if you need to go to 0:10:13.800 --> 0:10:16.160 the toilet, and you're only just in that initial stages 0:10:16.160 --> 0:10:19.400 of dating, you walk into the bathroom and you put 0:10:19.480 --> 0:10:21.320 music on, or you put the tap on so that 0:10:21.320 --> 0:10:24.040 they can't hear any toilet noises. You pad down the 0:10:24.080 --> 0:10:26.760 toilet like I once dated this guy who lived in 0:10:26.800 --> 0:10:29.400 a studio apartment, so his toilet was pretty much in 0:10:29.440 --> 0:10:32.280 the bedroom. There was nowhere to hide, there was nothing. 0:10:32.360 --> 0:10:33.640 I used to have to ask him to go out 0:10:33.640 --> 0:10:35.480 in the balcony and I would pad that toilet down. 0:10:35.559 --> 0:10:37.640 You go to the extreme length so that you don't 0:10:37.800 --> 0:10:40.800 let them hear your toilet noises, and then when you 0:10:41.200 --> 0:10:43.560 not for everyone, I appreciate this. There's two types of people. 0:10:43.559 --> 0:10:46.000 We've established that in the past. But for some of us, 0:10:46.280 --> 0:10:49.960 you get into a comfy relationship, things change. You let 0:10:50.000 --> 0:10:53.199 yourself go and no longer do you put music on 0:10:53.320 --> 0:10:55.160 or put the tap on or whatever. You'll walk out 0:10:55.160 --> 0:10:58.800 and you'll describe like what a cathartic experience it was. Anyway, 0:10:58.880 --> 0:11:00.360 that was the skit. It was very funny. 0:11:00.360 --> 0:11:00.760 Ha ha ha. 0:11:01.120 --> 0:11:04.600 Also got like some crazy like five million views on Instagram, 0:11:04.640 --> 0:11:05.480 so it did really. 0:11:05.320 --> 0:11:08.840 Well, Laura, people movement. 0:11:09.040 --> 0:11:10.840 If there's one thing that we can all relate to, 0:11:11.240 --> 0:11:14.880 everybody shits. So we did this skit very funny. And 0:11:14.920 --> 0:11:17.080 then I wake up the next day to an article 0:11:17.120 --> 0:11:19.000 that my mom has sent me because my mom has 0:11:19.040 --> 0:11:21.320 not seen the skit yet, So my mom sends me 0:11:21.360 --> 0:11:25.520 an article and it says this. Laura Byrne shocks her 0:11:25.559 --> 0:11:27.920 fans as she reveals she did the biggest pooh of 0:11:27.920 --> 0:11:31.800 her entire life and lost four kilos. This entire article 0:11:31.920 --> 0:11:34.480 now once again, the publisher of this, this journalist who 0:11:34.480 --> 0:11:36.160 wrote this has done me dirty a few times. Her 0:11:36.240 --> 0:11:39.400 name's Marta j Marta j No, Marta Jari. She's written 0:11:39.400 --> 0:11:42.080 a couple of articles and it seems like she misses 0:11:42.240 --> 0:11:44.120 satire and humor a bit or she doesn't like me. 0:11:44.160 --> 0:11:46.160 It could be the second I know he gets it. 0:11:46.320 --> 0:11:48.320 Yeah, she's written a few articles that have truly done 0:11:48.360 --> 0:11:50.520 me dirty over the years. But anyway, this one, it 0:11:50.600 --> 0:11:54.800 was written as though The skit was completely truth and verbatim, 0:11:55.000 --> 0:11:57.560 so it outlined me coming out saying like, you know, 0:11:57.559 --> 0:11:59.320 do you want to come see it? Me talking about 0:11:59.400 --> 0:12:02.120 poo to mad and the whole article was written as 0:12:02.160 --> 0:12:05.480 though I had just gotten onto Instagram and done like 0:12:06.120 --> 0:12:09.400 stories and be like, hey everyone, I did a boo, 0:12:09.480 --> 0:12:12.360 which clearly didn't happen. But the Internet now thinks that 0:12:12.360 --> 0:12:15.280 that did happen, and that will live in perpetuity on 0:12:15.400 --> 0:12:17.440 the Daily Mail for the rest of my life. No, 0:12:17.520 --> 0:12:19.440 my mum sent it, and she sent this message and 0:12:19.480 --> 0:12:22.000 she said, Laura, I know that you're okay with sharing things, 0:12:22.240 --> 0:12:24.160 but something should be kept a secret. 0:12:24.480 --> 0:12:25.920 Anyway, you could print that out and put it on 0:12:26.000 --> 0:12:29.960 the wall right next to the urine shower. You've had some, 0:12:30.400 --> 0:12:32.840 you had some banger articles. To be fair, I'm. 0:12:32.679 --> 0:12:34.600 Pretty sure Marta wrote that one too. To be honest, 0:12:35.160 --> 0:12:39.760 I think she did. I think she did to you. Hey, 0:12:40.160 --> 0:12:41.280 what did I do to you? 0:12:42.120 --> 0:12:43.640 You haven't done a four kilo shit? Come on with 0:12:43.720 --> 0:12:46.160 all dumbe no, no, no. I thought it was very funny. 0:12:46.160 --> 0:12:49.640 And Ben's bathroom, he's only got one, and it's one 0:12:49.640 --> 0:12:51.959 of those three way bathrooms you know where like the 0:12:52.000 --> 0:12:54.199 bedroom goes. It's an on suite, but it's not non sweet. 0:12:54.200 --> 0:12:56.040 It also services the rest of the house, like there's 0:12:56.080 --> 0:12:58.160 multile ways in. And it was really hard at the 0:12:58.200 --> 0:13:00.320 start because I was like, you know, new, I don't 0:13:00.320 --> 0:13:01.480 want to PuO in front of you. I want you here, 0:13:01.520 --> 0:13:03.440 but you can literally literally lay in bed and hear me. 0:13:04.040 --> 0:13:06.240 It's gotten a bit better now I will be like, yo, 0:13:06.480 --> 0:13:08.560 going to do a poop, hold the line, but I 0:13:08.600 --> 0:13:10.760 still don't far in front of him, right, Like I 0:13:11.000 --> 0:13:14.800 just refuse to do it. Anyway, last night, I was 0:13:14.840 --> 0:13:16.719 like I was just feeling unwell, and I was like, 0:13:16.720 --> 0:13:17.800 like I knew it was not going to be a 0:13:17.840 --> 0:13:20.640 good one. So I walked out of the bedroom into 0:13:20.640 --> 0:13:23.319 the kitchen and then my plan was to come back, 0:13:23.440 --> 0:13:26.120 but I didn't know Ben follow me. So Ben was 0:13:26.160 --> 0:13:28.000 following me to the kitchen to get a drink. And 0:13:28.040 --> 0:13:30.320 I walked to the fire end of the kitchen turned 0:13:30.360 --> 0:13:31.160 around and he was there and. 0:13:31.160 --> 0:13:31.880 I was like, what are you doing? 0:13:32.320 --> 0:13:34.959 And I could it was a bomb like this is 0:13:35.440 --> 0:13:36.400 not good. I was like, what are you doing? 0:13:36.480 --> 0:13:36.920 Go back to bed. 0:13:36.920 --> 0:13:37.640 I can bring you what you want. 0:13:37.679 --> 0:13:39.240 He's like, I'm just gonna get a drink of water. 0:13:39.720 --> 0:13:44.400 Just hiding him, and he's like, what what's that smell? 0:13:44.440 --> 0:13:46.040 And I'm like, I don't smell anything, and he's like, yeah, 0:13:46.120 --> 0:13:48.560 what is that? And I was like, oh, eh, what 0:13:48.760 --> 0:13:52.000 is that? And then I pretended to find chicken wing thing, 0:13:52.040 --> 0:13:53.520 like a leftover chickening. I was like, oh my god, 0:13:53.520 --> 0:13:55.360 it's this leftover chicken wing, and then threw it out. 0:13:55.520 --> 0:13:59.240 And that's how I covered my fart. I'm still so 0:13:59.400 --> 0:14:01.960 far from tell him the truth. He'll probably listen to 0:14:01.960 --> 0:14:03.520 this now and he'll know. So anyway, it's out in 0:14:03.520 --> 0:14:04.800 the open. I dropped a bomb. Sorry, Ben. 0:14:04.880 --> 0:14:07.240 You guys just need to like live more liberally. You 0:14:07.280 --> 0:14:09.520 need to get to a point of comfort and relaxation 0:14:09.600 --> 0:14:12.319 with your partner. It's better for the relationship. It brings 0:14:12.320 --> 0:14:14.680 you closer, It makes you love each other more, you 0:14:14.800 --> 0:14:18.439 understand each other. I know, Matthew Johnson inside and out. 0:14:18.559 --> 0:14:22.800 I can say that outside and I know well, while you. 0:14:22.760 --> 0:14:26.240 Were in bed dying and writing your will and last testament, 0:14:26.640 --> 0:14:29.360 I had a very important meaning. So I was meeting 0:14:29.400 --> 0:14:32.720 Ben's family for the very first time, and my family 0:14:32.880 --> 0:14:35.320 had obviously flown over from Australia. They were meeting Ben's 0:14:35.320 --> 0:14:37.520 family for the first time, but it was the first 0:14:37.520 --> 0:14:43.400 time in person. I actually have unfortunately met Ben's family before. 0:14:44.200 --> 0:14:45.720 I told this at the live show, so some of 0:14:45.760 --> 0:14:48.640 you might have heard it, but I die a little 0:14:48.640 --> 0:14:50.800 inside every time I think about it. Ben and I 0:14:51.080 --> 0:14:52.920 are on different sides of the world. So every time 0:14:52.920 --> 0:14:55.920 we FaceTime, which is twice a day minimum, so morning 0:14:55.960 --> 0:14:57.720 and night for both of us. One about morning one 0:14:57.800 --> 0:15:00.040 of our night, and it's always when I'm get be 0:15:00.160 --> 0:15:03.560 ready in the morning, so I will put the iPad 0:15:03.640 --> 0:15:05.160 up and I'll go and have a shower, will breakfast, 0:15:05.240 --> 0:15:07.160 have coffee, we'll get ready for work, all of that, 0:15:07.280 --> 0:15:10.160 just like normal life while the other person's on the iPad. Anyway, 0:15:10.520 --> 0:15:12.800 one morning, I've stripped off and I'm just about to 0:15:12.800 --> 0:15:15.320 get into the shower, and the iPad starts reading and 0:15:15.360 --> 0:15:18.960 it's Ben. Some like perfect timing, like titties are out, 0:15:19.000 --> 0:15:20.960 they're looking full. It was probably that time of the month. 0:15:20.960 --> 0:15:23.160 I had great lighting. It wasn't too overhead. It was 0:15:23.200 --> 0:15:25.160 just like really choice, like for a newdi. 0:15:25.000 --> 0:15:27.120 FaceTime, so so descriptive. Thank you. 0:15:27.560 --> 0:15:30.640 So I put the iPad down on the bathroom sink 0:15:30.920 --> 0:15:33.640 and I lean out of the frame to turn the 0:15:33.640 --> 0:15:36.360 shower on as I've pressed pick up, so it's loading. 0:15:36.440 --> 0:15:39.280 As I'm out of frame, turning the shower on, and 0:15:39.320 --> 0:15:43.040 as I lean back into frame, just like really vibing myself, 0:15:43.360 --> 0:15:45.840 I look at the screen and there's Ben and he's 0:15:45.840 --> 0:15:48.320 staring back at me. And right next to Ben, he's 0:15:48.400 --> 0:15:51.880 Ben's mom and Ben's dad and Ben's sister and Ben 0:15:52.040 --> 0:15:56.640 have decided, without any prior acknowledgment, to do a family 0:15:56.680 --> 0:16:00.520 FaceTime at my shower time. So I'm standing looking them 0:16:00.520 --> 0:16:02.040 in the eyes. My titties are looking them in the eyes. 0:16:02.040 --> 0:16:04.040 They're looking me in the eyes. I panic rolled to 0:16:04.080 --> 0:16:06.360 the ground and I'm like, this is how I am 0:16:06.760 --> 0:16:09.560 like burying me right now. I'm completely dead. And I 0:16:09.600 --> 0:16:12.040 just sat there in silence, and I yelled out from 0:16:12.040 --> 0:16:15.000 the bottom and they were like, don't worry, Britt, we 0:16:15.000 --> 0:16:17.360 didn't see anything. And I'm like, oh please, Like, who 0:16:17.360 --> 0:16:20.040 says that? You only say that unless you saw something? Yeah? 0:16:20.120 --> 0:16:22.600 Like no, One's like, oh, you don't have anything. 0:16:22.200 --> 0:16:22.760 In your teeth. 0:16:22.800 --> 0:16:24.200 You know you have something in your teeth, do you know? 0:16:24.240 --> 0:16:26.080 The funny? Okay, the part about this that I think 0:16:26.120 --> 0:16:28.320 is great, the reason why they were in such confined 0:16:28.320 --> 0:16:30.480 space because it's not normal. No one's ever like huddling 0:16:30.480 --> 0:16:32.480 around the phone with their entire family being like, let's 0:16:32.480 --> 0:16:33.200 FaceTime Bread. 0:16:33.440 --> 0:16:34.480 They were in a car together. 0:16:34.520 --> 0:16:36.560 They were all driving, and so Ben had just like 0:16:36.680 --> 0:16:38.520 picked up and put up FaceTime and put the phone 0:16:38.520 --> 0:16:41.760 into the car holder. Yes, and then up Brit Pops 0:16:41.920 --> 0:16:44.200 and so do the rest of brit The reason they 0:16:44.240 --> 0:16:46.360 were all in the car together was because they were 0:16:46.360 --> 0:16:48.160 going to like his grandparents grave. 0:16:48.800 --> 0:16:50.480 It was like it was like a grave visit. 0:16:50.640 --> 0:16:52.280