1
00:00:03,320 --> 00:00:06,960
Speaker 1: It's the Happy Families podcast. It's the podcast for the

2
00:00:07,040 --> 00:00:10,480
Speaker 1: time poor parent who just once answers now.

3
00:00:10,560 --> 00:00:13,600
Speaker 2: Life on repeat groundhog Day, because that's where the skill

4
00:00:13,640 --> 00:00:16,759
Speaker 2: development comes, that's the confidence building, that's how you succeed

5
00:00:16,800 --> 00:00:17,920
Speaker 2: and achieve amazing things.

6
00:00:18,239 --> 00:00:21,440
Speaker 1: And now here's the stars of our show, my mum

7
00:00:21,520 --> 00:00:22,000
Speaker 1: and dad.

8
00:00:22,280 --> 00:00:24,920
Speaker 2: So we've received an email from one of our Happy

9
00:00:24,920 --> 00:00:27,360
Speaker 2: Families premium members who says, I've got a question for

10
00:00:27,400 --> 00:00:30,680
Speaker 2: you for a possible future podcast topic. Hey, Crystal, the

11
00:00:30,800 --> 00:00:33,560
Speaker 2: future is now. Do you like that? Do you like that?

12
00:00:33,920 --> 00:00:36,400
Speaker 2: I'm pretty excited about this where Justin and Kylie Colson,

13
00:00:36,520 --> 00:00:39,120
Speaker 2: parents are six kids and founder of Happy Families dot

14
00:00:39,120 --> 00:00:41,360
Speaker 2: com dot I you here's the question. Crystal says, I've

15
00:00:41,400 --> 00:00:44,040
Speaker 2: been realizing more and more with my kids, myself and

16
00:00:44,080 --> 00:00:46,760
Speaker 2: also other adults that I journey life with how there's

17
00:00:47,159 --> 00:00:50,519
Speaker 2: such a connection between success with life and the hurdle

18
00:00:50,560 --> 00:00:55,680
Speaker 2: of getting started and pushing through and doing so daily

19
00:00:55,720 --> 00:00:58,640
Speaker 2: as a lifestyle. So she's highlighted how they've noticed getting

20
00:00:58,640 --> 00:01:00,600
Speaker 2: started is really hard, pushing through was a big deal,

21
00:01:00,600 --> 00:01:02,920
Speaker 2: and then she talks about with lockdown past one hundred

22
00:01:02,920 --> 00:01:05,959
Speaker 2: plus days with our kids, little one's been learning to

23
00:01:06,040 --> 00:01:08,240
Speaker 2: read and write here with me at home, So it

24
00:01:08,280 --> 00:01:10,119
Speaker 2: doesn't say, but I'm guessing we're talking about a five

25
00:01:10,160 --> 00:01:13,199
Speaker 2: year old and he has needed to learn to push

26
00:01:13,280 --> 00:01:16,920
Speaker 2: through this sort of daily feeling of helplessness. And once

27
00:01:16,959 --> 00:01:19,840
Speaker 2: he pushes through, he then reads beautifully and writes a

28
00:01:19,840 --> 00:01:22,040
Speaker 2: full page of really good quality writing. And then Chrystal

29
00:01:22,200 --> 00:01:24,600
Speaker 2: just says, Hey, how do we like? What research is there?

30
00:01:24,600 --> 00:01:26,119
Speaker 2: What ideas have you got about how we can help

31
00:01:26,160 --> 00:01:29,720
Speaker 2: our kids to make that first step get through that

32
00:01:30,760 --> 00:01:33,640
Speaker 2: kind of mentality of how do I even get started

33
00:01:33,680 --> 00:01:36,040
Speaker 2: and then keep things going along? And boy, a boy,

34
00:01:36,640 --> 00:01:38,160
Speaker 2: is that a great conversation for us to have.

35
00:01:38,880 --> 00:01:42,120
Speaker 3: One of the things that I think everybody struggles with

36
00:01:42,240 --> 00:01:45,679
Speaker 3: is learning to be comfortable with being uncomfortable finding ourselves

37
00:01:45,720 --> 00:01:48,040
Speaker 3: in these situations where we're not comfortable with this feeling,

38
00:01:48,280 --> 00:01:51,800
Speaker 3: but just allowing the process to take place.

39
00:01:52,000 --> 00:01:53,920
Speaker 2: And it's even more important, I think, to be to

40
00:01:53,920 --> 00:01:56,400
Speaker 2: be comfortable with your children being uncomfortable. I mean, obviously

41
00:01:56,440 --> 00:01:58,559
Speaker 2: we're not talking about torturing our children and hurting them anyway,

42
00:01:58,560 --> 00:02:02,960
Speaker 2: but when your kids are struggling, this innate desire to

43
00:02:03,080 --> 00:02:05,840
Speaker 2: step in and relieve your child of that discomfort, say

44
00:02:05,840 --> 00:02:07,480
Speaker 2: hang on, I can fix this. I can make you

45
00:02:07,520 --> 00:02:10,200
Speaker 2: feel better about life. That's not the idea, right, You

46
00:02:10,240 --> 00:02:12,240
Speaker 2: don't grow unless you experience adversity.

47
00:02:12,639 --> 00:02:15,760
Speaker 3: Yeah, and there's this mentality that if life is not easy,

48
00:02:15,800 --> 00:02:18,120
Speaker 3: then clearly we're doing something wrong. Yeah, but that's not

49
00:02:18,200 --> 00:02:19,200
Speaker 3: the case at all.

50
00:02:19,440 --> 00:02:21,160
Speaker 2: So you've got an amazing story to tell from a

51
00:02:21,200 --> 00:02:23,280
Speaker 2: few years ago when we experienced this kind of thing

52
00:02:23,320 --> 00:02:25,960
Speaker 2: with our kids. I'm looking forward to hearing you share

53
00:02:25,960 --> 00:02:28,040
Speaker 2: that story. But first I want to share some my

54
00:02:28,040 --> 00:02:31,200
Speaker 2: ideas about how the Space Shuttle can inform the way

55
00:02:31,200 --> 00:02:33,760
Speaker 2: we approach children and getting stuff done. In fact, it's

56
00:02:33,760 --> 00:02:35,640
Speaker 2: helpful for you and I as well, it's helpful for adults.

57
00:02:35,639 --> 00:02:37,519
Speaker 2: So Crystal, this is what I want to share. First

58
00:02:37,520 --> 00:02:39,880
Speaker 2: of all, for the Space Shuttle to get into orbit

59
00:02:39,960 --> 00:02:43,280
Speaker 2: and travel around the Earth, that is low Earth orbit,

60
00:02:43,400 --> 00:02:46,320
Speaker 2: Space Shuttle has to reach speeds of about seventeen thy

61
00:02:46,440 --> 00:02:50,080
Speaker 2: five hundred miles per hour. That is twenty eight thousand

62
00:02:50,120 --> 00:02:52,519
Speaker 2: kilometers an hour. Let me say that again, twenty eight

63
00:02:52,600 --> 00:02:56,480
Speaker 2: thousand kilometers an hour. This is I mean.

64
00:02:56,560 --> 00:02:59,160
Speaker 4: Compared to our hundred kilometers an hour on the freeway.

65
00:02:59,320 --> 00:03:00,960
Speaker 2: Yeah. Well, I mean I've I always wanted to go faster.

66
00:03:01,000 --> 00:03:02,919
Speaker 2: But that's kind of taking it to a whole new level.

67
00:03:02,919 --> 00:03:05,919
Speaker 2: I mean, an aeroplane usually travels around about sort of

68
00:03:06,000 --> 00:03:08,280
Speaker 2: eight hundred to one thousand kilometers now, depending on whether

69
00:03:08,320 --> 00:03:09,919
Speaker 2: the wind's going with it and all that kind of thing.

70
00:03:10,000 --> 00:03:14,640
Speaker 2: We're talking twenty eight times faster than a commercial airplane.

71
00:03:15,040 --> 00:03:17,880
Speaker 2: I did read somewhere that it's about nine times faster

72
00:03:17,960 --> 00:03:21,080
Speaker 2: than a speeding bullet. Like Superman doesn't fly that fast.

73
00:03:21,080 --> 00:03:22,760
Speaker 2: We are talking really fast.

74
00:03:22,880 --> 00:03:23,959
Speaker 4: You know, Superman's not real.

75
00:03:24,600 --> 00:03:29,000
Speaker 2: Thank you appreciate that very much. And here's the other thing.

76
00:03:29,160 --> 00:03:31,639
Speaker 2: So it's about thirty seven meters tall, nearly the height

77
00:03:31,639 --> 00:03:34,200
Speaker 2: of an Olympic swimming pool. So we're talking I don't know,

78
00:03:34,280 --> 00:03:37,480
Speaker 2: seven eight nine stories high. This thing is huge. It weighs,

79
00:03:37,960 --> 00:03:39,560
Speaker 2: It weighs a lot. I can't remember the exact weight,

80
00:03:39,560 --> 00:03:41,080
Speaker 2: but it weways a lot. Put it this way, The

81
00:03:41,480 --> 00:03:44,560
Speaker 2: Space Shuttle is huge external tank. You know the great

82
00:03:44,560 --> 00:03:46,520
Speaker 2: big orange thing that's under the Space Shuttle with the

83
00:03:46,520 --> 00:03:48,280
Speaker 2: two white things on the side. If you've ever seen

84
00:03:48,280 --> 00:03:49,680
Speaker 2: a picture of the Space Shuttle, and you up the shuttle,

85
00:03:49,680 --> 00:03:51,880
Speaker 2: but then you've got these great big fuel tanks basically

86
00:03:52,000 --> 00:03:57,840
Speaker 2: underneath it. Five hundred thousand gallons of super cold liquid

87
00:03:57,880 --> 00:04:01,400
Speaker 2: oxygen and liquid hydrogen which they burned together. That's the

88
00:04:01,440 --> 00:04:04,040
Speaker 2: three main rocket engines. That's the fuel, rocket fuel, that's

89
00:04:04,040 --> 00:04:06,520
Speaker 2: what it's five hundred thousand gallons. This thing weighs. I

90
00:04:06,520 --> 00:04:07,920
Speaker 2: was gonna say it weighs a ton, but it obviously

91
00:04:07,920 --> 00:04:09,480
Speaker 2: weighs a lot more than that, and it's got to

92
00:04:09,520 --> 00:04:12,800
Speaker 2: get up against gravity twenty eight thousand k's an hour

93
00:04:12,880 --> 00:04:15,680
Speaker 2: to enter orbit. And what I've read as I've been

94
00:04:15,680 --> 00:04:19,159
Speaker 2: looking into how this happens is for the Space Shuttle

95
00:04:19,200 --> 00:04:22,599
Speaker 2: to leave the Earth in the first minute, it takes

96
00:04:22,680 --> 00:04:25,520
Speaker 2: one minute to get to about one hundred ks an

97
00:04:25,520 --> 00:04:29,160
Speaker 2: hour one minute, but it takes ten minutes until it's

98
00:04:29,200 --> 00:04:32,120
Speaker 2: doing twenty eight thousand k's. Once it's doing twenty eight

99
00:04:32,120 --> 00:04:34,080
Speaker 2: thousand k's and it's going into orbit, it drops those

100
00:04:34,200 --> 00:04:37,960
Speaker 2: huge fuel tanks, enters orbit, and it really doesn't need

101
00:04:38,040 --> 00:04:40,040
Speaker 2: very much fuel at all because it's not using it

102
00:04:40,080 --> 00:04:42,440
Speaker 2: when it's in orbit, and then it just needs a

103
00:04:42,480 --> 00:04:44,200
Speaker 2: little bit of fuel to get back into the Earth's

104
00:04:44,200 --> 00:04:46,520
Speaker 2: atmosphere and drop down to Earth. Now, for any rocket

105
00:04:46,560 --> 00:04:49,200
Speaker 2: scientists who are listening, if I've completely butchered that I'm

106
00:04:49,240 --> 00:04:53,160
Speaker 2: so sorry, but the principle behind it is really really simple.

107
00:04:53,680 --> 00:04:57,120
Speaker 2: Getting started is hard, and for the rocket ship to

108
00:04:57,120 --> 00:05:00,640
Speaker 2: get into orbit takes an enormous amount any for one

109
00:05:00,720 --> 00:05:03,880
Speaker 2: minute and then a significant amount of energy for the

110
00:05:03,880 --> 00:05:07,640
Speaker 2: next nine minutes. But after ten minutes, it's in orbit

111
00:05:08,440 --> 00:05:11,240
Speaker 2: and it doesn't require any energy at all. And I

112
00:05:11,279 --> 00:05:13,320
Speaker 2: think that's a great lesson for when it comes to

113
00:05:13,400 --> 00:05:15,480
Speaker 2: working with our kids and getting them started on stuff.

114
00:05:15,560 --> 00:05:18,080
Speaker 2: When they've got a school project, they're going to be

115
00:05:18,160 --> 00:05:20,119
Speaker 2: so hard, or when we've got to clean the house,

116
00:05:20,160 --> 00:05:23,200
Speaker 2: and cleaning the house, well, they're learning a new skill,

117
00:05:23,520 --> 00:05:26,120
Speaker 2: whatever is learning the piano with a clarinet or playing

118
00:05:26,120 --> 00:05:28,720
Speaker 2: a sport, and they're struggling with it. It's really really

119
00:05:28,760 --> 00:05:31,400
Speaker 2: hard to get things going. But if you can convince

120
00:05:31,400 --> 00:05:34,840
Speaker 2: your kids to just do one minute or ten minutes

121
00:05:34,880 --> 00:05:36,960
Speaker 2: would be better, but one minute just to get up

122
00:05:36,960 --> 00:05:38,720
Speaker 2: to one hundred k an hour, ten minutes to get

123
00:05:38,760 --> 00:05:40,680
Speaker 2: to twenty eight thousand k's an hour, and then they're

124
00:05:40,680 --> 00:05:42,960
Speaker 2: in orbit and they get into that thing that's called flow,

125
00:05:43,160 --> 00:05:45,800
Speaker 2: all of a sudden, things are much easier. It's like

126
00:05:45,800 --> 00:05:48,280
Speaker 2: we've got the momentum behind us. Now we're moving and

127
00:05:48,360 --> 00:05:51,400
Speaker 2: things just happen, so the central and I guess it

128
00:05:51,440 --> 00:05:54,440
Speaker 2: ties in with this basic psychological need that all humans have,

129
00:05:54,640 --> 00:05:57,520
Speaker 2: especially our children, that's a need for competence. Getting started

130
00:05:57,960 --> 00:06:00,000
Speaker 2: it always is really hard because you feel like you can't.

131
00:06:00,240 --> 00:06:03,400
Speaker 2: It feels like you're incapable incompetent of doing it. But

132
00:06:03,440 --> 00:06:05,520
Speaker 2: once you've been going for a little bit, just a

133
00:06:05,520 --> 00:06:08,200
Speaker 2: few minutes, you start to pick up that momentum because

134
00:06:08,240 --> 00:06:11,640
Speaker 2: you're doing it, you're actually developing and demonstrating that competence

135
00:06:11,640 --> 00:06:14,159
Speaker 2: and that capability of the capacity, the mastery, and it

136
00:06:14,200 --> 00:06:16,440
Speaker 2: gets easier as a result of doing those things.

137
00:06:16,839 --> 00:06:18,800
Speaker 3: I remember one year we had one of our children's

138
00:06:18,800 --> 00:06:22,520
Speaker 3: start school and she was definitely, you know, not at

139
00:06:22,520 --> 00:06:25,520
Speaker 3: the bottom of the class, but she wasn't thriving. But

140
00:06:25,560 --> 00:06:27,800
Speaker 3: I wasn't concerned because she was young and I knew

141
00:06:27,839 --> 00:06:29,719
Speaker 3: that she'd kind of developed those skills. But lots of

142
00:06:29,760 --> 00:06:32,760
Speaker 3: parents in the grade were feeling very, very stressed out

143
00:06:32,760 --> 00:06:34,679
Speaker 3: about it. And I had a conversation with the teacher

144
00:06:35,040 --> 00:06:37,000
Speaker 3: to kind of just check in and see where this

145
00:06:37,120 --> 00:06:41,279
Speaker 3: child was, and she acknowledged that this particular year, literally

146
00:06:41,640 --> 00:06:44,040
Speaker 3: nearly the entire class was just.

147
00:06:44,320 --> 00:06:46,720
Speaker 4: Really kind of dragging the chain a little bit.

148
00:06:46,720 --> 00:06:49,040
Speaker 3: They were really struggling to kind of grasp these concepts,

149
00:06:49,480 --> 00:06:52,440
Speaker 3: and then they came back after mid semester break into

150
00:06:52,480 --> 00:06:54,359
Speaker 3: term three and all of a sudden, she said, it

151
00:06:54,360 --> 00:06:56,640
Speaker 3: was like a light bulb went on for the entire class,

152
00:06:56,680 --> 00:07:00,400
Speaker 3: and all of a sudden, they just got it. Taken

153
00:07:00,440 --> 00:07:04,440
Speaker 3: them all that time to learn the foundations to get

154
00:07:04,480 --> 00:07:06,560
Speaker 3: to that point where, like you said, they could feel flow.

155
00:07:06,760 --> 00:07:08,320
Speaker 2: I guess it's kind of like a tree. It puts

156
00:07:08,360 --> 00:07:10,160
Speaker 2: the roots down first, looks like it's not growing, and

157
00:07:10,160 --> 00:07:13,160
Speaker 2: then the next season there's the tree. Hey, I want

158
00:07:13,200 --> 00:07:15,000
Speaker 2: to talk. I want to hear this amazing story that

159
00:07:15,000 --> 00:07:18,560
Speaker 2: you've got for us about our kids doing hard things.

160
00:07:19,120 --> 00:07:21,880
Speaker 2: And there's a story about Antarctica that I think is

161
00:07:21,920 --> 00:07:26,120
Speaker 2: also relevant to Crystal's question. Plus we need to talk

162
00:07:26,120 --> 00:07:28,880
Speaker 2: about the developmental appropriateness of all of this, so we'll

163
00:07:28,880 --> 00:07:29,840
Speaker 2: do that right after the break.

164
00:07:30,040 --> 00:07:33,000
Speaker 1: It's their Happy Families podcast for.

165
00:07:33,000 --> 00:07:36,680
Speaker 3: A happier family, Try a Happy Families membership, because a

166
00:07:36,680 --> 00:07:40,679
Speaker 3: happy family doesn't just happen. Details at happy families dot

167
00:07:40,720 --> 00:07:44,640
Speaker 3: com dot au. It's the Happy Families Podcast, the podcast

168
00:07:44,640 --> 00:07:46,840
Speaker 3: for the time poor parent who just wants answers now

169
00:07:46,920 --> 00:07:49,760
Speaker 3: and today we are answering Crystal's.

170
00:07:49,360 --> 00:07:51,240
Speaker 2: Question, how do you get the kids started on things

171
00:07:51,240 --> 00:07:52,600
Speaker 2: that are really hard that I don't want to do,

172
00:07:52,880 --> 00:07:54,640
Speaker 2: and how do you keep them going at things that

173
00:07:54,760 --> 00:08:01,200
Speaker 2: require a whole higher level of persistence than their previous demonstrated.

174
00:08:01,280 --> 00:08:03,080
Speaker 2: So we've talked about how the Space Shuttle is a

175
00:08:03,080 --> 00:08:06,400
Speaker 2: great example of just getting started. Just do ten minutes

176
00:08:06,400 --> 00:08:08,880
Speaker 2: of what's hard, and it's amazing what happens. But Kylie,

177
00:08:09,680 --> 00:08:13,080
Speaker 2: there's something else around persistence that we need to discuss.

178
00:08:13,840 --> 00:08:16,760
Speaker 3: So lots of years ago, lots of years ago, it

179
00:08:16,760 --> 00:08:20,520
Speaker 3: feels like a lifetime ago, we had a child who just.

180
00:08:20,960 --> 00:08:22,480
Speaker 4: Hated doing hard things.

181
00:08:22,560 --> 00:08:25,880
Speaker 3: As soon as things got slightly hard, she just pulled

182
00:08:25,920 --> 00:08:26,520
Speaker 3: the pin on it all.

183
00:08:26,520 --> 00:08:28,360
Speaker 2: And I've always had this saying, you gotta love the hills,

184
00:08:28,360 --> 00:08:30,440
Speaker 2: so right, that's my bike riding thing. If you love

185
00:08:30,520 --> 00:08:32,600
Speaker 2: riding the hills, then you can tell a lot about

186
00:08:32,600 --> 00:08:34,760
Speaker 2: a person's character by how they write up a hill.

187
00:08:34,920 --> 00:08:37,680
Speaker 2: And I'm always into you just get up that hill,

188
00:08:37,800 --> 00:08:39,440
Speaker 2: Just get up there. If you'll be worth it, just

189
00:08:39,559 --> 00:08:40,600
Speaker 2: keep on pushing.

190
00:08:40,760 --> 00:08:43,160
Speaker 3: And along with us, her teachers could see potential, but

191
00:08:43,280 --> 00:08:46,840
Speaker 3: she just pushed against all of the hard stuff. If

192
00:08:46,840 --> 00:08:48,599
Speaker 3: it was too hard, she just wasn't going there. And

193
00:08:48,640 --> 00:08:50,280
Speaker 3: so we decided as a family that we would do

194
00:08:50,440 --> 00:08:55,520
Speaker 3: something hard. We chose to climb Mount Kosiosco, highest mounted

195
00:08:55,559 --> 00:08:57,400
Speaker 3: in Australia. We were going to do it, and at

196
00:08:57,440 --> 00:09:01,760
Speaker 3: that stage we had four children. Youngest was about eighteen months.

197
00:09:01,480 --> 00:09:03,560
Speaker 2: Old, yeah, maybe two somewhere around that, yep.

198
00:09:04,640 --> 00:09:08,440
Speaker 3: And in order to do that, we had to work

199
00:09:08,480 --> 00:09:11,920
Speaker 3: out a pretty good schedule of training to help them

200
00:09:12,320 --> 00:09:15,320
Speaker 3: understand what it was going to take to actually climb

201
00:09:15,600 --> 00:09:17,880
Speaker 3: the six and a half kilometers to the summit after

202
00:09:17,920 --> 00:09:18,880
Speaker 3: we caught the ski lift.

203
00:09:18,880 --> 00:09:20,720
Speaker 4: Because we didn't start from the very bottom.

204
00:09:21,160 --> 00:09:23,120
Speaker 2: And so we and then six and a half k's back.

205
00:09:23,160 --> 00:09:25,400
Speaker 2: It was a thirteen k round trip at altitude, so

206
00:09:25,440 --> 00:09:26,959
Speaker 2: it was going to be a really big deal, very

207
00:09:27,040 --> 00:09:29,280
Speaker 2: very hard. We started training, so.

208
00:09:29,160 --> 00:09:31,360
Speaker 3: We started just doing walks around the neighborhood to start with,

209
00:09:31,720 --> 00:09:33,800
Speaker 3: and then we moved from the neighborhood to the mountain

210
00:09:33,880 --> 00:09:35,520
Speaker 3: so we were up a little bit higher. Our local

211
00:09:35,559 --> 00:09:38,120
Speaker 3: mountain there was a five k ring track. We figured

212
00:09:38,120 --> 00:09:40,440
Speaker 3: if we could get the kids doing five k's comfortably,

213
00:09:40,480 --> 00:09:42,360
Speaker 3: then the extra one and a half k's to the

214
00:09:42,360 --> 00:09:44,560
Speaker 3: top of the summit of Mount Kosiosco wasn't going to

215
00:09:44,559 --> 00:09:47,280
Speaker 3: be too big a stretch. But then we also recognized

216
00:09:47,320 --> 00:09:49,120
Speaker 3: the kids did better when they had friends, So we

217
00:09:49,120 --> 00:09:52,040
Speaker 3: invited the cousins, and we invited the grandparents to come along.

218
00:09:52,240 --> 00:09:54,520
Speaker 3: And by the time we actually got to Mount Kosiosco

219
00:09:54,960 --> 00:09:59,960
Speaker 3: the day we climbed, it was one degree at the summer,

220
00:10:01,000 --> 00:10:03,520
Speaker 3: it was pretty cold, but can I tell you, once

221
00:10:03,520 --> 00:10:05,280
Speaker 3: we started walking, it was so hot we had to

222
00:10:05,280 --> 00:10:07,520
Speaker 3: take off our jumpers and a beanies.

223
00:10:07,520 --> 00:10:08,680
Speaker 4: We were really, really hot.

224
00:10:09,080 --> 00:10:11,559
Speaker 3: We got to the top of Mount Koziosco and the

225
00:10:11,720 --> 00:10:15,520
Speaker 3: feeling of accomplishment and elation that each of us felt

226
00:10:15,520 --> 00:10:17,160
Speaker 3: and reliefed except for.

227
00:10:17,320 --> 00:10:19,520
Speaker 2: The little one because she didn't really care at all.

228
00:10:19,920 --> 00:10:22,440
Speaker 4: And oh yes she did, because she was trapped to

229
00:10:22,520 --> 00:10:22,880
Speaker 4: your back.

230
00:10:24,840 --> 00:10:27,200
Speaker 2: Let's keep the developmental appropriateness of this in mind. So

231
00:10:27,400 --> 00:10:29,720
Speaker 2: we sometimes want our children to do hard things, the

232
00:10:29,760 --> 00:10:32,640
Speaker 2: equivalent of climbing to the top of Mount Cosiosco for them,

233
00:10:32,760 --> 00:10:34,440
Speaker 2: even if it's not a big deal to us. To them,

234
00:10:34,480 --> 00:10:37,239
Speaker 2: it's a really big deal. But sometimes it's not appropriate

235
00:10:37,400 --> 00:10:39,680
Speaker 2: for them to do that. It was just not reasonable

236
00:10:39,679 --> 00:10:41,640
Speaker 2: that we would expect a two year old to do

237
00:10:41,679 --> 00:10:43,959
Speaker 2: a hike. That's thirteen kill me or six and a

238
00:10:44,000 --> 00:10:46,439
Speaker 2: half k's up and even get carried back down, and

239
00:10:46,559 --> 00:10:47,440
Speaker 2: even the four year.

240
00:10:47,280 --> 00:10:49,280
Speaker 4: Old, but she ended up having a piggyback for a

241
00:10:49,280 --> 00:10:50,080
Speaker 4: little bit of hiback.

242
00:10:50,200 --> 00:10:53,600
Speaker 2: I carried two children thirteen killing me. My mother helped.

243
00:10:54,240 --> 00:10:57,560
Speaker 2: She was amazing well. I carried two children a long way,

244
00:10:57,600 --> 00:10:59,600
Speaker 2: and then once it looked like I was going to collapse,

245
00:10:59,640 --> 00:11:02,679
Speaker 2: some people started helping to carry those children. But again

246
00:11:03,120 --> 00:11:05,000
Speaker 2: the purpose of this was not for the little ones.

247
00:11:05,040 --> 00:11:06,400
Speaker 2: It wasn't for the two year old and the four

248
00:11:06,440 --> 00:11:08,120
Speaker 2: year old or anything like that. It was actually for

249
00:11:08,160 --> 00:11:12,200
Speaker 2: the big ones, the ones that were being wingy, whiny winging.

250
00:11:12,240 --> 00:11:16,000
Speaker 2: Wine is about doing hard things, and like you said,

251
00:11:16,120 --> 00:11:19,760
Speaker 2: the level of enthusiasm once they demonstrated their capacity to

252
00:11:19,800 --> 00:11:22,920
Speaker 2: do it, they were elated, weren't they. They were just so

253
00:11:22,920 --> 00:11:24,719
Speaker 2: so pleased, so thrilled to have done it well.

254
00:11:24,720 --> 00:11:27,480
Speaker 3: And what I loved about that was her difficulties weren't

255
00:11:27,480 --> 00:11:29,800
Speaker 3: around whether or not she could climb a mountain. They

256
00:11:29,800 --> 00:11:33,400
Speaker 3: were very academically driven at the time, and if I

257
00:11:33,440 --> 00:11:35,760
Speaker 3: had spent all of my energy and effort on trying

258
00:11:35,760 --> 00:11:37,559
Speaker 3: to help with there, I don't know how far we

259
00:11:37,600 --> 00:11:41,359
Speaker 3: would have got. But in teaching her the lesson of perseverance, dedication,

260
00:11:41,960 --> 00:11:45,880
Speaker 3: determination and all of those things, doing something that we

261
00:11:45,880 --> 00:11:48,280
Speaker 3: could do all together that was going to require a

262
00:11:48,320 --> 00:11:52,600
Speaker 3: team effort to get there meant that she got to

263
00:11:52,760 --> 00:11:56,920
Speaker 3: experience what it felt like to succeed in something that

264
00:11:57,000 --> 00:12:00,600
Speaker 3: she didn't ever think she would do. As we went

265
00:12:00,679 --> 00:12:03,280
Speaker 3: through life moving forward from there, we were able to

266
00:12:03,320 --> 00:12:05,960
Speaker 3: go back to that experience time and time again and

267
00:12:06,120 --> 00:12:09,480
Speaker 3: help her to recognize what it took and how much

268
00:12:09,600 --> 00:12:12,320
Speaker 3: energy and effort that was put in to train and

269
00:12:12,400 --> 00:12:14,680
Speaker 3: understand and know what we needed to do in order

270
00:12:14,679 --> 00:12:17,520
Speaker 3: for us to actually achieve that, and then apply that

271
00:12:17,640 --> 00:12:19,000
Speaker 3: into her daily life.

272
00:12:19,120 --> 00:12:24,080
Speaker 2: So, in wrapping up one quick story, rolled Amonson and

273
00:12:24,200 --> 00:12:28,199
Speaker 2: Robert Falcon Scott, a Norwegian and an Englishman, one hundred

274
00:12:28,200 --> 00:12:29,960
Speaker 2: and ten years ago, one hundred and eleven years ago,

275
00:12:30,120 --> 00:12:33,319
Speaker 2: back in about nineteen eleven. I think it was set

276
00:12:33,320 --> 00:12:36,480
Speaker 2: off to reach the South Pole, separate teams. It's a race.

277
00:12:36,760 --> 00:12:39,320
Speaker 2: I mean one person was going to be the first

278
00:12:39,320 --> 00:12:41,040
Speaker 2: person to the poll and back. The other person was

279
00:12:41,160 --> 00:12:42,720
Speaker 2: not going to be the first person of the poll,

280
00:12:42,760 --> 00:12:47,160
Speaker 2: and that would be the loser. And they had different approaches,

281
00:12:47,200 --> 00:12:51,080
Speaker 2: different tactics, different strategies as they headed off from the

282
00:12:51,120 --> 00:12:57,040
Speaker 2: Antarctic port from which they departed. So Antarctica coldest, highest,

283
00:12:57,559 --> 00:13:02,640
Speaker 2: most inhabitable place, habital sorry place on the planet, and

284
00:13:02,720 --> 00:13:04,800
Speaker 2: these guys are trying to get to the South Pole

285
00:13:04,840 --> 00:13:09,200
Speaker 2: and back. It's three thousand kilometers. Robert Falcon Scott, the Englishman,

286
00:13:09,360 --> 00:13:12,840
Speaker 2: he's gopher broke, helpful leather, doing everything he can to

287
00:13:12,840 --> 00:13:15,079
Speaker 2: get his team there first. They're dropping food along the way,

288
00:13:15,080 --> 00:13:17,360
Speaker 2: They're doing all the they're just they're going for it.

289
00:13:17,440 --> 00:13:19,559
Speaker 2: Days that are clear, they're marching as many as thirty

290
00:13:19,640 --> 00:13:23,920
Speaker 2: forty even fifty miles in a day, like long long journeys.

291
00:13:24,360 --> 00:13:27,319
Speaker 2: When it's blizzards and wide out, they're pretty much hunkering

292
00:13:27,360 --> 00:13:30,960
Speaker 2: down and trying to stay safe and recovering from the

293
00:13:31,240 --> 00:13:36,440
Speaker 2: exhaustion of hiking and carrying everything that they needed at altitude. Amonson,

294
00:13:36,720 --> 00:13:39,480
Speaker 2: he and his team totally different approach. They've worked out,

295
00:13:39,480 --> 00:13:41,920
Speaker 2: we're going to do twenty miles a day, twenty miles

296
00:13:41,960 --> 00:13:44,440
Speaker 2: a day, thirty k's per day or thirty one thirty

297
00:13:44,440 --> 00:13:46,960
Speaker 2: two k's a day. That's it, regardless of the weather,

298
00:13:47,000 --> 00:13:49,400
Speaker 2: regardless of anything. We just do that and then we stop.

299
00:13:50,000 --> 00:13:53,280
Speaker 2: So for them it's about being consistent. Well, as it happens,

300
00:13:53,280 --> 00:13:55,560
Speaker 2: Amonson gets to the pole first and gets back to

301
00:13:55,760 --> 00:13:58,320
Speaker 2: Port on exactly the day. In fact, a day earlier

302
00:13:58,320 --> 00:14:01,160
Speaker 2: than he thought he would, Robert Falcon Scott and his

303
00:14:01,160 --> 00:14:04,400
Speaker 2: team tragically perish in the snow in a blizzard. They

304
00:14:05,160 --> 00:14:08,720
Speaker 2: die just eleven miles from their nearest food drop, just

305
00:14:08,760 --> 00:14:12,240
Speaker 2: couldn't make it back. And it's a terrible story of tragedy.

306
00:14:12,600 --> 00:14:14,760
Speaker 2: But the lesson, as it applies to Crystal's question, is

307
00:14:15,320 --> 00:14:18,000
Speaker 2: just do this unspectacular important thing every single day. Kids

308
00:14:18,040 --> 00:14:19,480
Speaker 2: need to read, so just sit down and do it.

309
00:14:19,520 --> 00:14:21,880
Speaker 2: Five minutes every day or ten minutes every day. Make

310
00:14:21,920 --> 00:14:25,120
Speaker 2: that your twenty mile march. Don't do more even if

311
00:14:25,120 --> 00:14:26,760
Speaker 2: because like this is so much fun, let's keep going,

312
00:14:26,800 --> 00:14:29,280
Speaker 2: say no, no, we'll just do some more tomorrow. Just

313
00:14:29,320 --> 00:14:31,440
Speaker 2: do the twenty miles every single day. Pick that thing

314
00:14:31,520 --> 00:14:34,160
Speaker 2: and do it. So three big stories. Remember the Space

315
00:14:34,160 --> 00:14:37,840
Speaker 2: Shuttle to get started. Remember that kids can do amazing

316
00:14:37,880 --> 00:14:40,920
Speaker 2: things if you do the training and teach them about

317
00:14:40,960 --> 00:14:45,480
Speaker 2: perseverance and going uphill. And number three, do it again

318
00:14:45,640 --> 00:14:49,040
Speaker 2: and again and again, life on repeat, Groundhog Day, because

319
00:14:49,080 --> 00:14:52,720
Speaker 2: that's where the skill development comes. That's the confidence building. Oh,

320
00:14:53,120 --> 00:14:55,880
Speaker 2: I mean, that's how you succeed and achieve amazing things.

321
00:14:56,240 --> 00:14:59,240
Speaker 3: Hey, Crystal, I hope that answers your question. Getting started

322
00:14:59,320 --> 00:15:01,560
Speaker 3: is always the best guest hurdle to jump over. But

323
00:15:01,600 --> 00:15:04,720
Speaker 3: if we can just remember our children are learning, and

324
00:15:04,720 --> 00:15:07,440
Speaker 3: they're at yeah, and so if the goal is for

325
00:15:07,520 --> 00:15:10,560
Speaker 3: them to learn to read and write, then maybe today

326
00:15:10,600 --> 00:15:13,960
Speaker 3: the goalpost just changes a little bit. Immerse them in reading.

327
00:15:14,120 --> 00:15:16,080
Speaker 3: That might mean that you read a page, they read

328
00:15:16,080 --> 00:15:18,160
Speaker 3: a page. It might be you read a line, they

329
00:15:18,200 --> 00:15:20,960
Speaker 3: read a line. It might seem so overwhelming to them

330
00:15:21,000 --> 00:15:24,480
Speaker 3: in the moment, and so just enjoying the process of

331
00:15:24,560 --> 00:15:27,240
Speaker 3: reading together is a step in the right direction.

332
00:15:27,400 --> 00:15:29,200
Speaker 2: And if they're only five, there's no hurry, right, there's

333
00:15:29,200 --> 00:15:31,840
Speaker 2: plenty of time. We've got so much data from around

334
00:15:31,880 --> 00:15:34,360
Speaker 2: the world that says, don't rush this stuff. It's okay,

335
00:15:34,400 --> 00:15:36,560
Speaker 2: they'll figure it out. We really hope that you've enjoyed.

336
00:15:36,560 --> 00:15:39,200
Speaker 2: The Happy Families podcast is produced by Justin Ruland from

337
00:15:39,280 --> 00:15:42,040
Speaker 2: Bridge Media. Craig Bruce is our executive producer. And if

338
00:15:42,040 --> 00:15:44,120
Speaker 2: you'd like more great information about how to make your

339
00:15:44,160 --> 00:15:48,360
Speaker 2: family happier, including oh I'm so excited about this a

340
00:15:48,440 --> 00:15:51,880
Speaker 2: brand new webinar coming up next Monday night about how

341
00:15:51,920 --> 00:15:55,760
Speaker 2: to create amazing connection in your home and why it

342
00:15:55,880 --> 00:15:59,680
Speaker 2: matters most. That's all to be found at happy families

343
00:15:59,720 --> 00:16:08,880
Speaker 2: dot com, dot i