Speaker 1: I had the most annoying thing happened to me.
Speaker 2: What happened just a disaster.
Speaker 1: Ash, have this a new trick that I do with
Speaker 1: the bins. They're recycling the cardboard. If you will, I will.
Speaker 1: I water it with a hose, I crunch it down.
Speaker 2: Can I say to you that is wrong?
Speaker 1: It worked well for two weeks and then obviously post
Speaker 1: Christmas a lot of cardboard to get rid of.
Speaker 2: Can we stop with the cardboard?
Speaker 1: See? I agree, get it out of here. I watered
Speaker 1: it too much, and I thought, I wonder if the
Speaker 1: water's sitting down below. And because I jumped on the
Speaker 1: bin to crunch it all down, let's bring it back
Speaker 1: in after the truck came. But at the bottom half
Speaker 1: of the bin, which just like solid compacted cardboard.
Speaker 2: You gotta be careful too. It goes molded bucking. It's
Speaker 2: so bad for the environment. It makes the cardboard unrecyclable.
Speaker 2: If it's wet, soggy and moldy, you can't use it. It's contaminated.
Speaker 2: If you will, damn it.
Speaker 1: Welcome back to two Dads. I'm Mattie Jay and I'm Ash.
Speaker 1: And this is a podcast all about parenting.
Speaker 2: It is the good.
Speaker 1: It is the bad and the relatable. And if you've
Speaker 1: come wanting advice, not from us, off.
Speaker 2: The back of that bin story. You don't want our advice.
Speaker 1: No, just one disaster after another. I know, Ash, Before
Speaker 1: we get into this episode, I need to get changed
Speaker 1: really quickly.
Speaker 2: That shirts be crinkly, yeah.
Speaker 1: Shirt, Okay, I'll be back in one second.
Speaker 2: Yes, dear, I was born ready, my guy? What have
Speaker 2: you got for me? What am I looking at? What's
Speaker 2: with the shoes? They boots?
Speaker 1: They boots?
Speaker 2: My guy, you're a lollipop man, don't ahi viz Ash.
Speaker 1: I'm going to just break the news to you quick
Speaker 1: and fast.
Speaker 2: That's the way I like it.
Speaker 1: Laura's pregnant.
Speaker 2: It he's Laura prennant. No, oh, thank god, I'm.
Speaker 1: Gonna say I'm going on a show called I'm.
Speaker 2: You are not shut your fucking mouth right now.
Speaker 1: It's called I'm a Celebrity. Get me out of here. Wow,
Speaker 1: this guy is going to be on it.
Speaker 2: No, you're not.
Speaker 1: When I'm leaving you very soon.
Speaker 2: Okay, Well, I need to know what very soon means.
Speaker 2: I don't work on very soon. I work on dates
Speaker 2: when you're leave them, when you're going I'm.
Speaker 1: Going to be by the time this goes to air.
Speaker 1: Shut up, I will be in the jungle fuck off,
Speaker 1: licking at zebra anus.
Speaker 2: That I want to see you are not? Yeah, I
Speaker 2: what am I supposed to do? You'll be fine if
Speaker 2: I vote for you? Do you stay? No? I want
Speaker 2: you to come back.
Speaker 1: Jess a producer has been she's known for a couple
Speaker 1: So you kept.
Speaker 2: Us from me too. What else are you keeping from me?
Speaker 1: You don't want to know. Fortnights I'm out of here.
Speaker 1: Fortnights I'm leaving.
Speaker 2: So like you said, the this comes out, you won't
Speaker 2: be here. You'll be abroad.
Speaker 1: I will be abroad.
Speaker 2: Are they still going to South Africa?
Speaker 1: Still going to I don't know the exact location. I
Speaker 1: did have to have a.
Speaker 2: Medical and how that you're as specimens.
Speaker 1: The annoying thing about the medical.
Speaker 2: Is you're a woman.
Speaker 1: No, they you know, ask all the standard questions, how
Speaker 1: old you are, how tall are you?
Speaker 2: How old are you in circumstances six?
Speaker 1: I said, I am one hundred and eighty seven centimeters tall,
Speaker 1: and they said, we just have to check this. If
Speaker 1: you want to stand next to the tape measure on
Speaker 1: the wall, and she goes, oh, and I was like,
Speaker 1: what's the problem. She goes, it's saying here that you're
Speaker 1: one hundred and eighty three. Either I've shrunk or some
Speaker 1: doctor measurement.
Speaker 2: That's good.
Speaker 1: And I said, wait there, and I like just fucking
Speaker 1: extended as much as I could. She was like, I'll
Speaker 1: give you one eighty four, and I was like, I'll
Speaker 1: take it.
Speaker 2: So what did that make you? Six foot? You've scraped in,
Speaker 2: You're just over.
Speaker 1: I'm flying past six foot.
Speaker 2: Flying is a stretch. You kept it from me? Who
Speaker 2: else have you kept it from the kids. I'm not
Speaker 2: going to tell the kids smart and absent father.
Speaker 1: I just said my plan is the morning that I leave,
Speaker 1: I'm just going to go out to the shops to
Speaker 1: get some milk.
Speaker 2: Smart people have been doing that for generations. Doesn't seem
Speaker 2: to be causing any issues that I know of. That's
Speaker 2: my plan. Does your wife know?
Speaker 1: Didn't go down well as you can appreciate. I wasn't
Speaker 1: sure how to like because it was just it was discussions.
Speaker 1: Ash there were discussions that nothing was locked in, you know.
Speaker 1: Her first question was how long will you be going for?
Speaker 1: And their questions that I didn't have answers to me.
Speaker 1: I was like, look, could be two weeks, could.
Speaker 2: Be five, depending on how likable you are, Matthew.
Speaker 1: I know, you know, it depends on how much Laura
Speaker 1: helps people vote for me.
Speaker 2: She's like, don't vote, we need him home.
Speaker 1: Well, she's going to manage my social media, and so
Speaker 1: I wouldn't m yeah, you need to stop sending me
Speaker 1: those Instagram posts.
Speaker 2: Of cricket, wholesome, wholesome content. I don't send you nerds,
Speaker 2: but myself.
Speaker 1: I wouldn't be surprised with Laura managing my socials. And
Speaker 1: obviously she does a good job by staying longer. I
Speaker 1: come out and I'm like, why I've only had one
Speaker 1: post the whole time I've been away Laura's so Laura
Speaker 1: is not thrilled about it. And like, in the same
Speaker 1: way that if Laura went to me and said I'm
Speaker 1: going into the jungle, I'd be like, what do you mean?
Speaker 2: Like that's well was it last year of the year
Speaker 2: before she was on Dancing with the Stars and she
Speaker 2: was here, but she was so busy, and I remember
Speaker 2: that time. It was like fuck like.
Speaker 1: But also with those like like I said, those shows,
Speaker 1: yeah you're here, you come home. I have no phone
Speaker 1: I have no way of contacting. When I go into
Speaker 1: the jungle. All I'm allowed to bring with me is
Speaker 1: six pairs of undies and two pairs of swimmers, and
Speaker 1: that is it. Nothing else luxury. You can nominate what
Speaker 1: you want to bring. So things that I've nominated a
Speaker 1: fresh live I asked for an accordion.
Speaker 2: Do you play the accordion?
Speaker 1: Not yet?
Speaker 2: Do you know how annoying accordions are?
Speaker 1: No?
Speaker 2: So okay, So my someone got my dad one once
Speaker 2: for Christmas. And Dad plays the guitar, and he thought
Speaker 2: he could play the guitar under the according at the
Speaker 2: same time, the most annoying possible thing.
Speaker 1: Because well, it's not the only thing I've asked for.
Speaker 1: I've also asked for.
Speaker 2: They also said no to the acordion.
Speaker 1: I thought this was weird. I asked for the girl's
Speaker 1: pajama tops.
Speaker 2: That's just creepy.
Speaker 1: Why is that fucking creepy? It's because I can snuggle
Speaker 1: with him at nighttime.
Speaker 2: That weird guy in the corner. The smell of child.
Speaker 1: I thought that was a sweet gesture.
Speaker 2: The smell of my own seed?
Speaker 1: Is that weird?
Speaker 2: Yes?
Speaker 1: The first two things I've asked for are a disaster.
Speaker 1: It was like it's like asking for the producers are like,
Speaker 1: what is wrong with this?
Speaker 2: Okay, Like I have that I want Laura suck.
Speaker 1: So I've asked for a few get to nominate a
Speaker 1: few different things. So I don't know what's been approved.
Speaker 1: So hopefully it's not the accordion or my children's dirty
Speaker 1: clothing against saying anything in yeah, yeah, like what yeah,
Speaker 1: protein bars?
Speaker 2: How much can you feel up your owners? I don't.
Speaker 1: They don't say. They say is the natural pocket?
Speaker 2: That's what I'm no.
Speaker 1: I think. Apparently, like Khan in the Chef, he smuggled
Speaker 1: in like a full set of spices, like taped to
Speaker 1: his body, like he was smuggling in heroin, so he
Speaker 1: would have been like walking in the Starfish. Apparently the
Speaker 1: thing is the best way to smuggle in any contraband
Speaker 1: is taping it.
Speaker 2: To your body. Apparently, I told you, bro, I can't
Speaker 2: fit anything up there. Yeah, that's because you haven't trained.
Speaker 2: You haven't worked for it.
Speaker 1: I can't even get a finger up there.
Speaker 2: You need to train the sphincter. There's no time to
Speaker 2: be able to I've left it too late. Okay, if
Speaker 2: you don't know who you're going in with no idea,
Speaker 2: no idea. Do they give you any clues?
Speaker 1: No, only clues that have been given are the same
Speaker 1: ones that they put out to the public, putting someone
Speaker 1: you hate. They did say who would be the one
Speaker 1: person you wouldn't want to happen there?
Speaker 2: And I said, Ash.
Speaker 1: Paul in Hanson, do you know I don't think I
Speaker 1: get along with her.
Speaker 2: I think you'd hit it off.
Speaker 1: Do you reckon?
Speaker 2: I'm a lover, Ash, You're a lover most of the time, Matthew.
Speaker 2: But there is a time in which you you change,
Speaker 2: and that is when you are hungry.
Speaker 1: That's my biggest fear. If I'm honest, you're like the.
Speaker 2: Old sneakers out where it's like you're not yourself when
Speaker 2: you're hungry.
Speaker 1: I'm not so scared about the snakes or spiders.
Speaker 2: It's about the debilitating, honey.
Speaker 1: Imagine if someone was cooking rice, Okay, it's the only
Speaker 1: food that we get each day, and they fuck up
Speaker 1: the rice, so they spill the rice, or you know
Speaker 1: who fucks up rice and it happens, Dude, it happens.
Speaker 1: Maybe they burn the rice because you're cooking it on
Speaker 1: an other and it's on a fire. How will I
Speaker 1: handle that type of situation, Oh, snap, you will. I
Speaker 1: will flip If that's my one bit of food, I've
Speaker 1: been waiting hours for it and I got I don't
Speaker 1: get given it. I will really struggle not to flip out.
Speaker 2: Usually there's a chef in there.
Speaker 1: Yes, but what if the chef leaves early. Well, you
Speaker 1: fucked exactly, Rice, exactly.
Speaker 2: The only way you can guarantee it not not fucking
Speaker 2: up is if you just do it. But then you
Speaker 2: don't want to be the.
Speaker 1: Guy who's like, oh it, camp bitch, you don't know
Speaker 1: what you're doing here, camp bitch.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and then like you expect people to repay.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I need you get jobs. So like one person's
Speaker 1: on cleaning the toilets, I feel sorry for them. You know,
Speaker 1: one person is a chef, and you know you want
Speaker 1: to you want to give people the chance.
Speaker 2: I hope the person who's cleaning the toilets and also
Speaker 2: the chef.
Speaker 1: I quit coffee though. Headaches, Yeah, brutal, brutal headaches. Within
Speaker 1: the first forty eight hours, I was like doubling up
Speaker 1: in the Panadol on eurof and did nothing. It was
Speaker 1: so bad. And then and then I got really really tired.
Speaker 1: We went to see Mawana too, and I was like,
Speaker 1: sat down in that seat and it was a twelve
Speaker 1: o'clock session and I already had eight hours sleep the
Speaker 1: night before. I fell asleep with the whole movie.
Speaker 2: You're making me tired. Comfy seat though, so comfy, loud?
Speaker 2: How do you fall asleep?
Speaker 1: I drank about five shots of coffee a day, so
Speaker 1: to not have that. He's been pretty awful.
Speaker 2: So what clues have they given us?
Speaker 1: Okay, so there is a stadium superstar that's you.
Speaker 2: Of course, stadium super There's always a football player that's
Speaker 2: going to be a footy player, right, yeah, AFL stadium AFL.
Speaker 1: It could be Who was the guy who's like a
Speaker 1: real junkie, he's like cousins?
Speaker 2: Yeah, what is Jared Haynes? Fuck?
Speaker 1: Radio star?
Speaker 2: Who you think? Who think?
Speaker 1: I thought it could have been Hughsy Hughes is.
Speaker 2: A good one.
Speaker 1: He's got a job, Ed Cavali. Maybe he'd be funny,
Speaker 1: also lost his job. Pop culture icon Nikky Webster, hasn't
Speaker 1: you already been in?
Speaker 2: No Nikky, it'll be Nikky Webster, Rey Gun.
Speaker 1: There is a headline grabbing Olympian I reckon that'll be the.
Speaker 2: Guy who's got caught on the pul vote Welt thing.
Speaker 1: This swimmer, the swimmer who said he'd go he go
Speaker 1: do stuff and do like the enhanced games. Oh, James Magnuson, Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's why. That's why I think it'll be Okay, football
Speaker 1: strong man. I think will be Willie Mason.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's a good shout. Would have to be retired
Speaker 2: because it's pre season, Yes, it will. It would have
Speaker 2: to be someone like.
Speaker 1: Romantic leading man. You're looking at him. Nice there he is?
Speaker 2: Do you get to choose what they say? It's like
Speaker 2: the clue. No, it's very handsome man.
Speaker 1: Influencer with a taste for love. I think that's going
Speaker 1: to be just power.
Speaker 2: Would you call her an influencer though it's more of
Speaker 2: a porn star, isn't she she's an influencer. She's not complaining.
Speaker 2: You're right, she is an influencer.
Speaker 1: So a real life hero.
Speaker 2: I didn't know I was going in real life hero.
Speaker 2: That's a good one.
Speaker 1: Hang on, Bonde rescue, I think Maxie, although.
Speaker 2: He just had a kid. Surely not.
Speaker 1: I think Hopper.
Speaker 2: Any other clues you've got for me?
Speaker 1: A comedian?
Speaker 2: I was thinking do they have an international guest, you know,
Speaker 2: will they have a UK TikToker?
Speaker 1: Do you know what? I reckon it'll be UK TikToker, Yeah,
Speaker 1: because I thought it doesn't make sense to have someone
Speaker 1: from the UK on TikTok, Like no one's really going
Speaker 1: to know who is or she in Australia. So I
Speaker 1: think I saw him recently down a bold eye huh
Speaker 1: ol on Olin Teker's Yeah, could be him or James
Speaker 1: Smith the PT because he's got like two million on TikTok.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't think he would do it. You don't reckon,
Speaker 2: I don't think it's really his jam is it?
Speaker 1: Olan Teckers?
Speaker 2: I reckon it might be Oland.
Speaker 1: How many he's got TikTok, He's got a lot.
Speaker 2: He's currently in England though, so he might be going
Speaker 2: straight from there. I reckon that's a good chot.
Speaker 1: I don't know. I don't find out any of them
Speaker 1: until like we were there on the day in the
Speaker 1: Jungle two You're in. Yeah, we did a promo shoot
Speaker 1: where it was at a studio near the airport and
Speaker 1: they booked out the entire studios, eight rooms in there,
Speaker 1: and I knew that in every room was another celebrity.
Speaker 1: But if you had to leave the room, everyone there
Speaker 1: was working on audio pieces and they were saying, you're
Speaker 1: given a nickname. So my nickname was Manta. Everyone out
Speaker 1: their nickname, so like Manta has gone to the bathroom
Speaker 1: clearance please, and they make sure no one.
Speaker 2: Saw anyone dragons headed to the bathroom.
Speaker 1: So I don't know who's going to be until I
Speaker 1: get there on the day. So, yeah, it's happening.
Speaker 2: So I'm pretty much got to steer the ship for
Speaker 2: an undisclosed amount of time mid February. Does this mean
Speaker 2: you're going to miss the first day of primary school? Yeah?
Speaker 2: So on this.
Speaker 1: I don't know if you know this, but I'm I'm
Speaker 1: renovating a house currently.
Speaker 2: Way to talk to your wife all about it.
Speaker 1: She will show your ear off about tile selections. So
Speaker 1: we've got the house that we're juggling, so Laura is
Speaker 1: gonna have to do all that. Marley's starting school. I
Speaker 1: won't be there for her first day, which feels really strange.
Speaker 1: And Laula as well, we've just moved her to a
Speaker 1: new daycare.
Speaker 2: Well, you are going to know what it's like to
Speaker 2: be you feel like an absent father because you will
Speaker 2: be absent.
Speaker 1: Part of me thinks it'll be nice to have a break.
Speaker 2: Joking as a joke. Really set some people over that one.
Speaker 1: Up until now, I've not really been thinking about it,
Speaker 1: Like it's just been like, oh, yeah, I know I'm
Speaker 1: doing it, but it's like that's future MAT's problem. But
Speaker 1: now that it's about to happen.
Speaker 2: And I'm just finding out, I feel, but I feel.
Speaker 1: And also so Marley started her holiday vacation cab at school,
Speaker 1: so she's already had a little taste of what big
Speaker 1: school will be like. And Lola started her new daycare,
Speaker 1: which is just it's a lot of change, yeah, going
Speaker 1: on right now.
Speaker 2: I'm assuming Laura, I'll just have to take the grunt
Speaker 2: of it, right Yeah.
Speaker 1: My mom's here, which is handy, and we've got another
Speaker 1: lady who's going to help us out step in in
Speaker 1: the afternoons like Laura's. She has a daughter at like
Speaker 1: six thirty am for work.
Speaker 2: What am I going to do? What am I supposed
Speaker 2: to do?
Speaker 1: You just keep being you?
Speaker 2: Who am going to talk to? No one?
Speaker 1: I've spoken to Laura. She's going to jump in and
Speaker 1: do a few episodes.
Speaker 2: Is she?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 2: To me and your wife.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's been a lucky lady. It'd be fun. So
Speaker 1: she's going to step in whilst I'm gone. I don't
Speaker 1: know how long for.
Speaker 2: I was half expeaking today. It's going to be you
Speaker 2: and Ellie for five weeks.
Speaker 1: I wouldn't trust my mom in a room with you.
Speaker 2: How'll be frazzled. It'll be it'll be unhinged.
Speaker 1: You bully her too much.
Speaker 2: I do know. Yeah, yeah, I do not.
Speaker 1: And that's why she's not here. She was like, this
Speaker 1: is coming, so.
Speaker 2: You've You've left it to me to keep the ball rolling. Yeap,
Speaker 2: instantly nervous about that one final question, please, I do
Speaker 2: have you are close quarters for an undisclosed amount of
Speaker 2: time we're supposed to masturbate.
Speaker 1: It's a very good question, very good question.
Speaker 2: I always thought that. I always thought that about every
Speaker 2: reality TV show. But it's a.
Speaker 1: Natural part of life. And we had a final sit
Speaker 1: down meeting after we did all the promo shoots, and
Speaker 1: I'm chatting to like the executive producers of the show.
Speaker 1: All the big wigs sat down and they said, you know,
Speaker 1: we're so excited to have you on the show this season.
Speaker 1: It's gonna be a great season. You know, is there
Speaker 1: any questions that you have for us? And I'm sitting
Speaker 1: there talking to four of them and I was like,
Speaker 1: don't do it, don't do it, don't do it. But
Speaker 1: I was like, but I also want to know. And
Speaker 1: the only question I had was I was like, where
Speaker 1: do you masturbate? And they were like they kind of
Speaker 1: looked at each other, and she was like, Glenn, do
Speaker 1: you want to take this one?
Speaker 2: What now?
Speaker 1: And they were going, oh, you know what people do
Speaker 1: ask that you know that pops up every now.
Speaker 2: They're like, oh, you left, and they're like, be sure
Speaker 2: we want this guy. He wants his kids clothes, his
Speaker 2: wife's socks, and wants to know where to masturbate. It's
Speaker 2: a bit much.
Speaker 1: We've just put in the predator into the jungle.
Speaker 2: He's got these protein what's going on? They'll melt.
Speaker 1: Luckily, there are no cameras in the toilet.
Speaker 2: It's a designated masturbations.
Speaker 1: So if you'd like to masturbate, they said, you know,
Speaker 1: you can do it anywhere you like.
Speaker 2: Can I give you a tip? I thought you'd never
Speaker 2: ask masturbate into the toilet. What else you going to?
Speaker 2: It's much easier, But like what how was he going
Speaker 2: to do it? Don't do it to yourself? What it's
Speaker 2: a tip? Okay, just giving you a friendly tip.
Speaker 1: That's like someone driving a car and you're going, hey,
Speaker 1: here's a tip, don't kill anyone.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's that's a good tip. Keeps everyone safe.
Speaker 1: I'm not going to go into the toilet and then
Speaker 1: jizz on, sit down and like jiz on myself.
Speaker 2: Why people do that?
Speaker 1: Who is faint? If you do that?
Speaker 2: Please let's know.
Speaker 1: Hey, sorry, thank you?
Speaker 2: I really should be Yeah, don't just pooh pooh my tips.
Speaker 1: I really appreciate it.
Speaker 2: So can you do one other thing for me while
Speaker 2: you're there? When you do go and evily masturbate because
Speaker 2: I know what you like. Please, can you announce it
Speaker 2: to the rest of the campgroup that that's what you're
Speaker 2: going to do.
Speaker 1: I'm going to call it a jungle jack.
Speaker 2: Yeah, just like I'm off to jungle jack everybody.
Speaker 1: Yeah, how many jungle jacks have you had?
Speaker 2: Yeah? Great? Make this whole thing about masturllation here first.
Speaker 1: My aim is to get one jungle jack in every week.
Speaker 2: One a day. There is a lot of downtime I
Speaker 2: definitely want to see on TV. You go, well, everybody,
Speaker 2: I'm after jungle Jack.
Speaker 1: You'll just know they We're like Matt's chirpy today.
Speaker 2: Yeah, what's his forum is bulgy? Why's it gonna come
Speaker 2: all over him?
Speaker 1: Anyway? Act about me? About me? Thank God, it's time
Speaker 1: for some questions.
Speaker 2: List of questions. It's my favorite.
Speaker 1: But I've actually got one myself. That's okay. I'm going
Speaker 1: to just kick the listeners to the curb. I've got
Speaker 1: one that i want to ask you.
Speaker 2: It's funny, I've got one i want to ask you
Speaker 2: because you have.
Speaker 1: Like four daycares on the go at the moment, maybe five,
Speaker 1: sometimes six.
Speaker 2: I'man enrolled to a but not me personally, but my
Speaker 2: children are.
Speaker 1: We've just put Lola into a new daycare. We are
Speaker 1: three days in and first days pretty good. Third day,
Speaker 1: massive tears on the drop off.
Speaker 2: It's enough. They know what's coming by the third day,
Speaker 2: you know, and like like now, like our kids are
Speaker 2: also going to go to primary school, right, They're excited
Speaker 2: about it until a couple of days in they're like, oh,
Speaker 2: this actually sucks, and it does. It does. Although now
Speaker 2: I look back as an adult, I'm like, fuck, school's best.
Speaker 1: We sold it in as being like a really exciting change,
Speaker 1: like over the Christopher. They we're like, hey, it's a
Speaker 1: new daycare, a special daycare, new toy and she was
Speaker 1: like really she got there and she was like, this
Speaker 1: is shirt gi any tips transitioning to a new daycare.
Speaker 1: How did you go with with Macy and Oscar back
Speaker 1: in the.
Speaker 2: Day, I would say a couple of things. One is time.
Speaker 2: It's obvious because like unless like she's complaining to you
Speaker 2: about someone's specific and it's real specific something she doesn't like,
Speaker 2: and you can be like, okay, we need to fix that.
Speaker 2: But usually they're just like I've worked out that. You
Speaker 2: leaving me here again. It's like starting again. But I
Speaker 2: would say, let's take a chapter out of our friend
Speaker 2: mister Luke's book and just do a clean snap and
Speaker 2: say there you go. Because after five minutes, bro, they're fine. Man,
Speaker 2: I don't know if they are. They are. I believe that.
Speaker 1: They send us a photo they're like she's having a
Speaker 1: great time. She's like ah, And Laura was like, she
Speaker 1: looks like she's been crying in that photo, and I
Speaker 1: was like, what are you talking about? She did look
Speaker 1: like she'd been crying in that photo. She probably had been,
Speaker 1: and I was like, but don't send us a photo, like,
Speaker 1: don't be like, hey, Lola, what Druthers tears? Oh my god,
Speaker 1: it sucks. It sucks. It's like a good thing. I'm
Speaker 1: not going anywhere what because I am?
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, sorry? Fuck any other tips from me? No,
Speaker 2: I Macy is going to a new day like a
Speaker 2: day care, like a She's moving on from the one
Speaker 2: that she was out going to the one that Oscar
Speaker 2: was at a bit older now. It's also cheaper, so
Speaker 2: I may have more tips after that.
Speaker 1: Please, but yeah, you'll be all he is when I
Speaker 1: come back.
Speaker 2: Stop reminding me that you're leaving, okay, because you're not
Speaker 2: just leaving the kids and your wife, you're also leaving me.
Speaker 1: I'm sorry. I apologize, and I don't like it your question.
Speaker 2: I don't like that you' rubbing it in. So my
Speaker 2: question is a pretty straightforward question. Is at what age, Matthew,
Speaker 2: do you think kids start to understand sarcasm?
Speaker 1: Marley's just started to understand it?
Speaker 2: No, she hasn't.
Speaker 1: She does me, tell me she gets it. Tell me
Speaker 1: she gets it. So as an example, give me one.
Speaker 1: I think this is sarcasm. Maybe it's not. We went
Speaker 1: down to the beach and she's like, can you pass
Speaker 1: my goggles? And I say, oh, I didn't bring him,
Speaker 1: and she was like, I know you're joking. Pass him.
Speaker 2: That's gas lighting. It's different. So she understands gas lighting.
Speaker 2: She just knows when you're lying. Pretty much sarcasm, like,
Speaker 2: h he's a good one. That young. They're so take
Speaker 2: everything so seriously. It's literal. Yes, I'll say that, April,
Speaker 2: something on your lip, like I think it.
Speaker 1: Might be a little bit of oat from your music
Speaker 1: bar and snuck out to escape.
Speaker 2: It's getting back in there.
Speaker 1: It's been looking at me for a while.
Speaker 2: Thanks for telling me.
Speaker 1: You cannot even know.
Speaker 2: The other day when we had the bully in it
Speaker 2: and I got the car and I was like, anyway,
Speaker 2: it's like I'll say to April, Nah, oscar doesn't like chocolate.
Speaker 2: Nah he doesn't like it.
Speaker 1: What does he say?
Speaker 2: Just who told you? I didn't? I too told you
Speaker 2: I didn't lie. And you're like, bro, it's called sarcasm,
Speaker 2: or like this morning I was like, I don't love you.
Speaker 2: That's not so I was saying. This morning. I was like, oh,
Speaker 2: they had their breakfast and I was like, you guys,
Speaker 2: gonna is anyone gonna eat these? I'll just to eat it.
Speaker 2: Then like they're like, no, we're gonna eat it. It's like,
Speaker 2: can you fucking relax? When are they gonna stop? Do
Speaker 2: you know what that remind those people in comments section
Speaker 2: who were like take everything so boomers? Yeah, they're pretty
Speaker 2: much the boomer child boomers.
Speaker 1: Well, they say that life is just you know, you
Speaker 1: go full circle. So you start off as a boomer,
Speaker 1: you then mature, become normal, and then you just retract
Speaker 1: back to being a boomer.
Speaker 2: I thought it was a Yeah, you shit in a nappy,
Speaker 2: you become a boomer than a year ago, all the
Speaker 2: way around, become a boomer again, and then you end
Speaker 2: up shitting into a n happy full circle.
Speaker 1: It is the miracle of life, girl of life. Well, Ash,
Speaker 1: it's been a pleasure talking to you. I think my
Speaker 1: time here is done. If you have enjoyed this episode.
Speaker 2: Just wait, yes, do you hear that voice?
Speaker 1: Yes?
Speaker 3: You might be wondering it is God, a new was
Speaker 3: a woman. It's just smalling here the two doting Dad's
Speaker 3: producer Maddie, you are off to the jungle, and one
Speaker 3: of the best things to come out of the jungle
Speaker 3: is the challenge around the food. Oh god, now it's
Speaker 3: not just ordinary food.
Speaker 2: It's usually disgusting discussed. I do feel sorry for you.
Speaker 3: I thought it was a good idea to sort of
Speaker 3: get you warmed up for it.
Speaker 1: You've got two plates there.
Speaker 3: I have two plates here.
Speaker 2: I'm not going to the jungle. Let's do it.
Speaker 3: I have two plates now, ash. I thought it would
Speaker 3: be fun to also join him, just so he's not
Speaker 3: alone already.
Speaker 2: Can we honestly bring it?
Speaker 1: Bring it over, Jess, bring it over? Here we go.
Speaker 2: Jess has wind up her food eating challenge, and I
Speaker 2: don't like to look at it just walking around with it.
Speaker 2: Now she dropped it, and that works for me perfectly. Fine,
Speaker 2: she's rescued.
Speaker 1: It is a life suggests you've given us, like a
Speaker 1: dinosaur egg.
Speaker 2: I can't.
Speaker 3: I just this is called a century egg.
Speaker 2: No no, no, no, no, no no no, I can't.
Speaker 3: All right, guys, is it boiled or something? You're supposed
Speaker 3: to take off the shell and then go for it.
Speaker 1: I can't. I can't.
Speaker 2: I can't.
Speaker 3: Come on, this is warm up.
Speaker 1: I can't.
Speaker 3: If you can't do.
Speaker 1: This, I can't. I can't even look at it eat it,
Speaker 1: eat it, Ash, have a bite, have a butte. I
Speaker 1: can't bite it, bye it Okay, it just smells so bad.
Speaker 3: What does it smell like?
Speaker 1: Smells like just bad feet, bad feet of that's been
Speaker 1: decaying for sweating.
Speaker 3: Ash always makes out as if he's like the tough guy,
Speaker 3: but then you realize that you can't eat a black egg.
Speaker 4: Go.
Speaker 2: It smells like an old pond, you know, like come across,
Speaker 2: like someone's got an old pond in the back. Yeah,
Speaker 2: like a marine. It's got a marine smell about. See.
Speaker 3: The thing is with these eggs, you're not supposed to
Speaker 3: eat it the way that you're about to eat it.
Speaker 3: You're supposed to slice it up and put it into
Speaker 3: other things.
Speaker 2: I can't. I can't do it. I can't.
Speaker 3: Guys, both of you need to go for it at
Speaker 3: the same time.
Speaker 2: I can't do it. I'm not doing it. I'm not
Speaker 2: doing it.
Speaker 3: You have to do it.
Speaker 2: I don't have to do it.
Speaker 3: I don't produce that.
Speaker 2: I have free will. Matt, don't. Don't.
Speaker 3: You don't even know what it tastes like, what if
Speaker 3: it tastes a mate?
Speaker 1: It's so salty, So Matt lost, I'm so sorry. I'm out.
Speaker 3: You didn't even go for it.
Speaker 4: I can't.
Speaker 2: It's like biting into pure mold. Look at it. But
Speaker 2: I'm not the one going into the jungle, and I
Speaker 2: still have it at least bitter.
Speaker 3: Okay, so Matt's about to take his bye. Come on, man,
Speaker 3: if you can do this, you can do anything. I
Speaker 3: reckon you'll win.
Speaker 2: But you.
Speaker 1: Do it.
Speaker 4: Go Oh man, oh that much other psycha dict than.
Speaker 2: It stinks like an old pond. Oh my god, yess.
Speaker 3: Okay, Well, now that you've had your dinner, it's time
Speaker 3: for dessert. You're a bit worried about you, Matt. I
Speaker 3: don't know if you'll be able to survive the jungle.
Speaker 3: Straight into the bin, they go.
Speaker 2: Look, I think if you are hungry enough, you eat that.
Speaker 3: Very true?
Speaker 2: That was that foul.
Speaker 3: All right, I've got another plate for you. Are you ready?
Speaker 1: Jess?
Speaker 2: What's this? What is this?
Speaker 3: What do you think it is?
Speaker 1: Fish?
Speaker 3: It's ill? I think you should both do it together. Ash,
Speaker 3: how are you doing?
Speaker 2: This?
Speaker 3: Is not going to go as a man who doesn't
Speaker 3: have seafood for Christmas?
Speaker 1: Yes, well maybe we'll have eel from now on three
Speaker 1: two one. That's actually pretty good.
Speaker 3: I don't know about Ash though, guys, he's not doing
Speaker 3: very well. I didn't he was brought up by chicken nuggets,
Speaker 3: wasn't he.
Speaker 1: It's nice. I like that.
Speaker 3: Matt's okay, Matt likes it.
Speaker 1: I think it's pretty good.
Speaker 2: Ash.
Speaker 1: Try it again. It's a bit like hat food.
Speaker 3: Do you think you'll be able to have the food
Speaker 3: that's on off for it? I'm a celest No, not
Speaker 3: at all.
Speaker 1: I am absolutely one fucked in the jungle.
Speaker 2: I'm so glad. I'm not going all right.
Speaker 1: Ash, Let's get out of here, Jess. It's been a pleasure.
Speaker 1: If you've enjoyed this episode or any.
Speaker 5: I haven't, my bloody well have, please subscribe, review and
Speaker 5: leave us some comments, and also follow us on social media.
Speaker 1: These videos of us eating will be online. I will
Speaker 1: see you guys after the jungle. We luck, good luck,
Speaker 1: miss good riddans, I say goodbye, bye bye bye.
Speaker 2: MC two.
Speaker 1: Doting Dance Podcast acknowledges the traditional custodians of country throughout
Speaker 1: Australia and the connections to land, sea and community.
Speaker 2: We pay our respects to their elders past and present
Speaker 2: and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torrestraight Islander
Speaker 2: peoples Today. This episode was recorded on gadagle Land