Speaker 1: This episode was recorded on Cameragle Land. Hi guys, and
Speaker 1: welcome back to another episode of Life Uncut.
Speaker 2: I'm Laura, I'm Brittany and producer Keisha keep that in
Speaker 2: what Laura just did at the start? Do you know
Speaker 2: what it sounded like, whiteladus. It was whiteloadus, wasn't and
Speaker 2: then it was the start of it.
Speaker 3: That's what all we need on a Monday, Okay, we
Speaker 3: all need the white list.
Speaker 1: Do you know what Britt used to do before we
Speaker 1: would start episodes. Britt just to slap herself in the
Speaker 1: face to get herself in a mood back in the day,
Speaker 1: when you know, you would be tired, it was late
Speaker 1: at night. We would record at all hours to try
Speaker 1: and get this podcast out.
Speaker 3: And it was.
Speaker 2: Especially when I was still working at the hospital and
Speaker 2: sometimes you'd been like on a twelve hour shift and
Speaker 2: it was eleven pm at night. I would literally slap
Speaker 2: myself in the face, not hard. I don't want people think.
Speaker 1: You know, like waking, Like yeah, it was a ritual,
Speaker 1: pre record ritual. Brit would slap herself. I would laugh
Speaker 1: at her, and then we were in the mood.
Speaker 2: It was like I was psyching myself up. You'd think
Speaker 2: that I was like, say, about to go and performing
Speaker 2: in front of thousand of people. I was like, come on,
Speaker 2: you can do it, or like a football match or something,
Speaker 2: because like I was really pumping myself up like a fighter.
Speaker 3: I'm not sure if there's any Olympics or there was
Speaker 3: a coach that did that to the fighter and people
Speaker 3: all across the world were like, that's not okay, Well
Speaker 3: a coach.
Speaker 1: The coach slapped the fighter. Yeah, but it probably is.
Speaker 2: It is okay if your job is about to be
Speaker 2: punched in the face, that's different. It's not like they're
Speaker 2: going in for promotion and then boss slaps across the face.
Speaker 1: That's just part of the warm up.
Speaker 3: It's not Britt slapping me in the facesha edit better
Speaker 3: slap you Like if you're a fighter, that would get
Speaker 3: you psyched because you want them to be angry and
Speaker 3: you want them to be fired up.
Speaker 2: Not saying that any violence is okay, but when your
Speaker 2: job is violence, it hits different.
Speaker 1: So just so you guys do know, we are having
Speaker 1: a holiday very shortly, and this episode has been recorded
Speaker 1: in the EFFA. Actually it's just been pre recorded because
Speaker 1: Britt is on her way to Italy to go and
Speaker 1: spend some time with Bed.
Speaker 2: I'm not on my way, I'm there. I'm Orgasmine as
Speaker 2: we speak, I hope.
Speaker 1: So why is that where you always take it.
Speaker 2: To Because I don't have sex for three months at
Speaker 2: a time, and then that's what I'm going to be doing.
Speaker 2: And we're all about having an unfiltered chat here. If
Speaker 2: you guys think I'm doing anything other than that, you cook.
Speaker 1: We'll also just keep in mind that whilst you're listening
Speaker 1: to this brute is mid orgasm, I'm having a home likely.
Speaker 2: Not just I also am not for what I will say,
Speaker 2: it's I'm a very family person. I can't wait. I'm
Speaker 2: looking forward to it. But my sister Sherry Jay and
Speaker 2: baby Maya are going to come and visit.
Speaker 1: The family shouldn't be included in that bridge. Y, Well, what.
Speaker 2: The problem is. Ben's always had like a two bedroom
Speaker 2: apartment with two bathrooms, and it's quite big and it's
Speaker 2: been great, but he's now moved into a one bedroom
Speaker 2: apartment because he had no time to find it. One bedroom,
Speaker 2: one bathroom, and the spare room is just a sofa
Speaker 2: bed in the lounge. The lounge pulls out. So this
Speaker 2: is a very small, intimate apartment. So now I'm like,
Speaker 2: do I just shout them in airbanb Do I put
Speaker 2: them up somewhere?
Speaker 1: Surely if they're coming for a holiday, they can get
Speaker 1: themselves in it. It just they don't have to stay
Speaker 1: in the apartment if the apartment not adequately sized. Also,
Speaker 1: they have a baby, they probably don't want to stay
Speaker 1: in the apartment.
Speaker 2: It's just really expensive over there. So you always offer, right,
Speaker 2: I'm always like, of course you guys can, Like they're
Speaker 2: already paying one thousand bus sea don't. I was like,
Speaker 2: you guys are so welcome to stay on the tiny
Speaker 2: pullout sofa in the one bedroom apartment.
Speaker 4: Come would you give up the main room for them?
Speaker 2: Would be ridiculous? How would I do that? I think
Speaker 2: that I think that they're going to do half half
Speaker 2: because Sheridan was like, look, we won't stay. We know
Speaker 2: what you guys are going to be doing and no
Speaker 2: one needs to hear that, And I was like, no,
Speaker 2: that's ridiculous. Family comes first. No, actually I come first,
Speaker 2: then the family comes second. But I was like, why
Speaker 2: don't we do half half? Stay a couple of days
Speaker 2: with us? Because I also want maybe mightac to be
Speaker 2: at my disposal twenty four to seven, Like I want
Speaker 2: to have access to it whenever I want. But I
Speaker 2: was like, why don't you do three days with us
Speaker 2: and then three days in and their baby? So I
Speaker 2: think that's the happy medium.
Speaker 1: Well, this is I mean in terms of what we
Speaker 1: have coming up for you guys. So we still have
Speaker 1: an episode coming out on Wednesday, and then we are
Speaker 1: taking one week off for Easter break and we'll be
Speaker 1: back to normal programming after that. So I mean, is
Speaker 1: a way having a wonderful time. I hopefully, if things
Speaker 1: work out and stars align, will be able to spend
Speaker 1: my first week down at the house we've been renovating
Speaker 1: down the South coast. So that's cross Yeah, I'm really like,
Speaker 1: I'm so looking forward to it. It all depends on
Speaker 1: furniture deliveries, so like fingers crossed, that freedom comes through
Speaker 1: with like the delivery on time.
Speaker 2: Well, you can't just go and lay on the ground,
Speaker 2: Well yeah, that's.
Speaker 1: Kind of what we'll be doing otherwise. So oping in
Speaker 1: a house yeah, but you kind of need at least
Speaker 1: a couch or a bed or something like a chair.
Speaker 1: There's literally the house is barren and we have all
Speaker 1: the furniture arriving at one time, so it's still touch
Speaker 1: and go at the moment as to whether that's going
Speaker 1: to happen. But that is the plan for our little
Speaker 1: easter break.
Speaker 3: Do you know what my parents told me all the
Speaker 3: time growing up? These are these stories that come from
Speaker 3: your parents where they're like, I walked three kilometers in
Speaker 3: the snow to get to school. I all will never
Speaker 3: forget my dad and my mum saying that they had
Speaker 3: a ladder in their house for nearly two years and
Speaker 3: that they had like camp furniture because they were building
Speaker 3: a house and they couldn't afford furniture as well. And
Speaker 3: I guess times have changed so much because now we
Speaker 3: can get furniture for so cheap.
Speaker 1: It just might not be good furniture totally.
Speaker 3: But I always picture them and I'm like, how did
Speaker 3: you live for two years like that?
Speaker 2: Like, surely you've.
Speaker 1: Added so much mayo to it? You know that's an exaggeration.
Speaker 1: It's like when yeah, exactly like you said, and I
Speaker 1: walked to school with no shoes. Yeah, thanks mum.
Speaker 4: So maybe you can just have camp chairs for two
Speaker 4: weeks and teach the.
Speaker 3: Girls what it's like to live in a little bit
Speaker 3: less comfortable situation.
Speaker 1: They like, yeah, we'll tell them that we're glamping. But anyway, guys,
Speaker 1: we're here to answer your questions for asking. Cut before
Speaker 1: we do that. It is vibes and unsubscribes. Britt, What
Speaker 1: is your Vibe for the Week?
Speaker 2: My Vibe for the Week is a podcast. It's a
Speaker 2: podcast by BBC. It's hosted by two people, one girl
Speaker 2: named Hannah and she's the victim and then coincidentally her
Speaker 2: stepmom growing up like her parents are split, but her
Speaker 2: stepmum but a stepmum's a journalist and the podcast is
Speaker 2: called Stalked and it's her Hannah telling the story herself
Speaker 2: about her experience with exactly that this stalker but it
Speaker 2: is so extreme and went for so many years, is
Speaker 2: and completely infiltrated her life, like this person that stalked
Speaker 2: her and she was trying to figure out who it was, right,
Speaker 2: she had this guy that became a bit obsessed with her.
Speaker 2: But then stalkers came separately and they were presented to
Speaker 2: her as people that were hacking into her phone, following
Speaker 2: her around, writing to her like they know everything about
Speaker 2: her and she's trying to piece together who it is,
Speaker 2: and she's trying to piece together in her life who
Speaker 2: it could be. And it's her trying to figure out
Speaker 2: if these people that are stalking her online the same
Speaker 2: people that she had issues with in real life, but
Speaker 2: it's different because she's telling the story from her experience.
Speaker 1: Does this have sort of like a hybrid between being
Speaker 1: catfish and stalk because it sounds like it has some
Speaker 1: similarities to Sweet Bobby sort.
Speaker 2: Of she knows this, and I don't want to give
Speaker 2: too much away. She knows the person very intimately over years,
Speaker 2: they're actually friends. But the catfishing comes from eventually him
Speaker 2: not being who he said he was, but that takes
Speaker 2: years to discover, and the lengths that he goes to
Speaker 2: to pretend his life is one thing when it's not
Speaker 2: is so extreme, But it's them figuring out over the
Speaker 2: years and putting the pieces together. But hearing the story
Speaker 2: from her point of view, she's very educated, she's very
Speaker 2: well spoken. Her showing how the wool was pulled over
Speaker 2: her eyes and how extreme it was. I just found
Speaker 2: it really fascinating, and I liked that their two hosts
Speaker 2: had this connection as well. It was a great listen. Yeah,
Speaker 2: so that's BBC podcast anywhere you get your podcasts, but
Speaker 2: it's called stalk.
Speaker 1: How many episodes is it?
Speaker 2: It's seven episodes?
Speaker 4: Awesome, Yeah, my vibe this week.
Speaker 3: I feel like sometimes my vibes can be really like
Speaker 3: thought provoking, and then for a couple of weeks in
Speaker 3: a row, I fall into these categories where they are
Speaker 3: just such simple, basic things that I'm like, I don't
Speaker 3: know if this is too low bra.
Speaker 1: I like the pendulum between really really insightful to totally basic. Bitch.
Speaker 1: I think we're all here for.
Speaker 2: It, but there's no I think there's no right or wrong.
Speaker 2: We can be basic, we can be well smart, not
Speaker 2: right now insightful.
Speaker 4: We can It is a contour legacy, cool gel leg pillow.
Speaker 1: What the hell key shark?
Speaker 2: I got it from? Just got from the post I
Speaker 2: got it from the post office.
Speaker 3: When you go to the post office, they have so
Speaker 3: many knickknacks that I am like, never ever thought I
Speaker 3: would need that.
Speaker 4: That's the best thing I've ever purchased the post office.
Speaker 1: The shopping experience at the post office has no rhyme
Speaker 1: or reason. I find it the most confusing thing that's
Speaker 1: ever existed. It's like there'll be some sort of neck
Speaker 1: massage pillow next to a moneybox, yes, next to a
Speaker 1: plate that's got Peter Rabbit on it, and you're like,
Speaker 1: what is going on here? I use all of those items,
Speaker 1: but I bought every single one. I didn't know I
Speaker 1: needed that.
Speaker 4: That's exactly what happens to me.
Speaker 3: It's such a lottery and I get so excited by
Speaker 3: the randomness of it. So I saw this one when
Speaker 3: I was in line for you know, the post office.
Speaker 3: I was returning a package and it was thirty five
Speaker 3: dollars and I was like, you know what, I really
Speaker 3: reckon that my back could do with a leg pillow and.
Speaker 1: It is fan tass, Please describe me what it is again? Sorry,
Speaker 1: be cooling. What It's a.
Speaker 2: Cool gel leg pillow. She has a very hot house.
Speaker 1: It's hot.
Speaker 4: It's shaped.
Speaker 3: I want you to imagine like the size of your head,
Speaker 3: but in like a kind of a triangle, and one
Speaker 3: side of it is higher than the rest, so it's
Speaker 3: contoured downwards, but it's also contoured so that it goes.
Speaker 4: In between your knees.
Speaker 3: If you're a side sleeper, so it kind of like
Speaker 3: you sleep on the side and It goes in between
Speaker 3: your knees so that your hips are kept in a
Speaker 3: good position, and.
Speaker 2: It's really good if you get lower back page. How
Speaker 2: come you do because I just I do that every night.
Speaker 2: But I just put a pill in my legs. Do
Speaker 2: you need a cooling triangle inclined whirl leg? I have
Speaker 2: all of the above.
Speaker 1: I have tried so many different variations of this. I've
Speaker 1: tried like a body pillow.
Speaker 3: I even looked into getting a maternity one at one point,
Speaker 3: but they're really expensive.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but maternity pillows are lit. They are absolutely lit,
Speaker 1: and once you've had one, you will never go back
Speaker 1: to normal sleeping.
Speaker 3: That's how I feel about a knee pillown now. So
Speaker 3: this one with thirty five dollars it is. The brand
Speaker 3: is Contour. They've got different variations. Some have cooling gell
Speaker 3: in them, some don't. I don't know if you're a
Speaker 3: hot sleeper or not.
Speaker 2: Mine has the cool gel.
Speaker 4: It goes in between my knees and it is fantastic.
Speaker 1: This to me is the type of thing. It's so
Speaker 1: nicknacky that I would buy it, use it for a week,
Speaker 1: and then it would sit on my side table. I'd
Speaker 1: never use it again. Yeah, Like I'm the queen of
Speaker 1: buying gadgets that then get discarded, and that, to me
Speaker 1: is what this.
Speaker 2: Is, even the good gadgets. Like we both did it.
Speaker 2: Remember when we bought the face mask.
Speaker 1: I was literally about to say the omni Lux, the
Speaker 1: Omnilux red light mask is actually amazing. It works really well.
Speaker 1: The problem is that you have to be consistent with it.
Speaker 2: I go hard for like a couple of months, then
Speaker 2: don't use it for six months.
Speaker 1: I am not consistent with anything in my life that
Speaker 1: requires any iota of effort. I just bought this this
Speaker 1: thing recently. It's called a body sculpt because I was
Speaker 1: getting slammed by the ads. So you go in the
Speaker 1: shower and you massage. It's like for your cell. Yeah,
Speaker 1: so you have to, but the problem is you've got
Speaker 1: to do it each body part for five minutes a day, and.
Speaker 4: I want that time.
Speaker 1: As soon as I read the instructions on the back,
Speaker 1: I was like, oh, I'll never do that.
Speaker 2: And you only usually shower your feet. You don't even
Speaker 2: get in the shower.
Speaker 1: So literally only have a five minute shower. That would
Speaker 1: be like spending twenty five mini footbath.
Speaker 2: That's about it. You're screwed. But those feet have no
Speaker 2: cellul had on them.
Speaker 1: My feet are great. All right. Look, I have a
Speaker 1: recommendation for all of the people who are really into
Speaker 1: their plant content. I'm back in my plant era.
Speaker 4: Even that wasn't consistent, so you didn't leave it.
Speaker 1: I have never left it, but I did shut up
Speaker 1: about it on the podcast for a while. But I'm back.
Speaker 2: I over.
Speaker 1: I'm here for anyone who wants help with keeping their
Speaker 1: indoor plants alive. There is a genuinely fantastic Instagram account.
Speaker 1: It's called Sydney Plant Guy. He has five hundred and
Speaker 1: forty three thousand followers, So there's a lot of people
Speaker 1: out there who like plants. Basically, if you are wanting
Speaker 1: to grow like marijuana.
Speaker 3: Yeah, is that why he's so popular.
Speaker 1: He's got a whole farm if you want to grow hydroponics. No,
Speaker 1: Like sometimes indoor plants are very very hard to grow
Speaker 1: in terms of like having them look as flourishing as
Speaker 1: what they do when they're outside where a plant should
Speaker 1: be right, Like, a plant will grow in a crack
Speaker 1: in the sidewalk better than what it will grow inside
Speaker 1: your house.
Speaker 2: My olive tree inside is thriving yeah, the plastic one.
Speaker 1: But this is like, I mean for anyone who has
Speaker 1: like this sounds so niche, but I'm going to lean
Speaker 1: in if you have a variegated monsterra or you have
Speaker 1: plants that are expensive that are really hard to take
Speaker 1: care of but really also challenging to flourish. I found
Speaker 1: this instagram. I came across it and like, he is
Speaker 1: so helpful with ways in which to better like structure
Speaker 1: them so that they can grow in a way that
Speaker 1: they would naturally, but do it indoors and it's fantastic,
Speaker 1: Like it's really easy plant care tips, and I highly
Speaker 1: recommend it if you're a plant galley.
Speaker 2: You know, you never really pinpoint the moment that you're old,
Speaker 2: do you Like, there's not a moment.
Speaker 4: But all the cooling gel nice, I'm sane.
Speaker 2: It's like all of a sudden, it just happens. Like
Speaker 2: even a couple of days ago, I couldn't believe how
Speaker 2: much I got off on the fact that I changed
Speaker 2: my living room around. I moved my lounge and I
Speaker 2: was like, oh, this is so good. And I was
Speaker 2: like this, she's the most exciting thing that happened with
Speaker 2: this week. You've got a leg cooling pillow and you're
Speaker 2: fur offing a plant. I was like, when did it happen?
Speaker 2: When was the transition where we were like, oh, we're
Speaker 2: in this era now.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't hate this era though, I'm okay with that.
Speaker 1: I don't hate it off and my house plans are
Speaker 1: really happy about it too.
Speaker 2: Guys, Okay, let's give him to the questions, Oh, what's
Speaker 2: his instagram?
Speaker 1: Sydney plant guy, Sydney plant guy, go and give him
Speaker 1: a follow, Okay. Question number one, Hi, ladies, my husband's
Speaker 1: mum has his location settings on, so basically she's able
Speaker 1: to track him at all times. She isn't necessarily controlling
Speaker 1: or making a big deal about it, but I often
Speaker 1: hear us saying things like, oh, I saw you were
Speaker 1: at the pub the other night, or why will you
Speaker 1: work on a Saturday. It makes me feel a certain way.
Speaker 1: Question mark, question mark, question mark. I just find it
Speaker 1: super odd. But it feels like I can't really just
Speaker 1: ask him to turn off, because then she's gonna ask
Speaker 1: questions and I don't want it to come back on
Speaker 1: to me. I guess my question is am I being
Speaker 1: ridiculous to be annoyed by the fact that my husband
Speaker 1: shares his location settings his mother.
Speaker 2: This is funny. I have like two feelings about this one.
Speaker 2: I'm a true crime girl. I think it's important that
Speaker 2: someone knows where you are at all times.
Speaker 1: Just in case her husband shows up in a bin
Speaker 1: if his disappears.
Speaker 2: Yep, I think it's important.
Speaker 1: That everyone grim Sorry, that's terrible to take that.
Speaker 2: I really like, is that how you would end someone's life.
Speaker 1: Put it in a bin?
Speaker 2: My brain was like el No, I do think it's
Speaker 2: important and it's not the end of the world. Do
Speaker 2: I think it's strange that he shares his location with
Speaker 2: his mom? Probably not normal, not out of control. Do
Speaker 2: I think it's weird that she constantly checks it? Yes,
Speaker 2: the fact that she knows he was at the pub
Speaker 2: or at work. Like Ben and I share location, I
Speaker 2: have not checked it once. I know it's there, I
Speaker 2: do not check it. The fact that she's like tapping
Speaker 2: in and out on the daily to see what he's
Speaker 2: doing where he's at is a bit of a like
Speaker 2: there is something that needs to be let go.
Speaker 1: My question here is is does your husband share his
Speaker 1: location settings with you or only with his mom? Is
Speaker 1: he like h He's like nah, babe, I'm not going
Speaker 1: to share this, but hey, mummy, I'm going to be
Speaker 1: at the pub on Friday, hear me out. I think
Speaker 1: the reason why he shared it is because it's so
Speaker 1: not a big deal to him, Like he just doesn't care.
Speaker 1: Obviously she's asked for it, It's been shared at some
Speaker 1: point for whatever reason. He's never turned off, and he
Speaker 1: just doesn't care that his mom can see where he
Speaker 1: is because it's not a big deal to him. It is,
Speaker 1: And I agree with you, brit super weird. She checked
Speaker 1: that she checks, and that she could going. You've got
Speaker 1: to actively choose that. You're like, hey, let's see where
Speaker 1: he is at.
Speaker 2: The moment, and then you go into the setting.
Speaker 1: But also it's weird, but it's also could be just harmless,
Speaker 1: Like she might be bored, she might be lonely, Like
Speaker 1: that might be her way of creating conversation. You know,
Speaker 1: he might not caller enough, and it's her way of
Speaker 1: being like, oh, I saw that you were at the
Speaker 1: pub on Saturday, Like how was your night? You know,
Speaker 1: it might be her way of trying to stimulate some
Speaker 1: sort of deeper connection with him.
Speaker 2: I think we know what her attachment style is, which
Speaker 2: what is it attached.
Speaker 1: But I mean, I understand that you feel a certain
Speaker 1: way about it because it is a bit weird that
Speaker 1: I don't think that you should necessarily be annoyed by it.
Speaker 2: No, it's one of those it will cause more harm
Speaker 2: than good. If you say, hey, turn your location settings
Speaker 2: off your mum because she checks it every day, obviously
Speaker 2: she's going to be like, why did you turn your
Speaker 2: location settings off? There's no answer other than I don't
Speaker 2: want you to know where I am or it's weird,
Speaker 2: like there's nothing that unless she's showing up to where
Speaker 2: he is, then I think you just have to leave it.
Speaker 1: Would you have the conversation with your partner though, and
Speaker 1: be like, hey, is it odd that?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 1: Like, would you at least have that conversation so you
Speaker 1: both can be in the same page, like Wendi to
Speaker 1: say like, hey, that is weird that mom does that.
Speaker 1: But you know, at least it's then you against the
Speaker 1: mom together. It's not like him and the mum being like,
Speaker 1: oh here share my location, SWEETI pie come over for dinner.
Speaker 4: What happens If he doesn't think it's weird.
Speaker 1: Then you well, I don't know, I know, that's a
Speaker 1: whole different story.
Speaker 2: No, I think that's leaning into like the same way
Speaker 2: Matt doesn't think it's weird to put his head on
Speaker 2: Ellie's lap and get head pats. Like some people are
Speaker 2: attached to their mom and they don't think it's weird.
Speaker 1: Okay, a bit of context, we've heard it.
Speaker 2: We've all heard.
Speaker 1: Okay, a bit of text around this is like what
Speaker 1: is and what doesn't constitute overstepping the line for a
Speaker 1: parent child relationship, right, we're talking about it on the
Speaker 1: radio the other day. And like Matt has an incredibly
Speaker 1: close relationship with his mom. We obviously live with his mom. Yeah,
Speaker 1: And like Ellie, Ellie is incredible. She like does our
Speaker 1: washing for us. I come home, She's cooked us in.
Speaker 1: Like she is a mum in every sense of the word,
Speaker 1: still to us, even though we are fully grown adults
Speaker 1: and very capable of doing things ourselves.
Speaker 2: I love it. You're in it now, you're like us.
Speaker 2: She's she's done.
Speaker 1: She just like she's so generous and she takes such
Speaker 1: good care of us, and she's a care that's like
Speaker 1: what she was put on the earth to do. She
Speaker 1: has five children, she loves giving.
Speaker 2: And she's a teacher, so she loves like. I say
Speaker 2: that because I think that says a lot about the
Speaker 2: person you are.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and also like, Okay, so this might be weird
Speaker 1: for some people because they probably don't have this relationship
Speaker 1: with their mother in laws. But like, I'll come home
Speaker 1: from work if Ellie's in her bedroom and I want
Speaker 1: to come and have a conversation with her, Like, I'll
Speaker 1: come and crawl up and lay next her in bed
Speaker 1: and we'll have a chat, you know, Like to me,
Speaker 1: that's so that's where our relationship is at. Matt is
Speaker 1: the same, or like if we're all sitting on the couch,
Speaker 1: this is the thing that Britt was like, your husband's
Speaker 1: are fucking weirdo, So we're all laying on the couch
Speaker 1: or sitting on the couch. If I'm like, I'm not
Speaker 1: giving you a head rub, Matt will just lay down
Speaker 1: and put his head on Ellie's lap and be like, mom, Mom,
Speaker 1: rubbed my head. M rub my head.
Speaker 2: I forgot. Keisha hasn't heard this weird or not weird.
Speaker 2: Keish as just be honest, because I was honest, Be honest.
Speaker 1: He'll get a head massage from his mom because I
Speaker 1: don't want to do it in her lap.
Speaker 2: I just want to replay it to you so you
Speaker 2: can hear it. How we hear it.
Speaker 4: He's turned to you for affection.
Speaker 3: You haven't provided it, so he's just flipped onto the
Speaker 3: other side to get it from his mother.
Speaker 1: That's fine. Hey, you can give him a blowjob as well.
Speaker 2: Ellie, I'm tired, Just be dry. It was so funny.
Speaker 2: There are there are some common people in the comments
Speaker 2: that were like, look, we get the affection. Think it's okay.
Speaker 2: Everyone needs affection. Why does his head have to be
Speaker 2: in a lap? People are like, why does it have
Speaker 2: to be laid down with his head anyway?
Speaker 1: This isn't about Matt, say, I'm not. Before we do
Speaker 1: move on, I know that that probably is weird to
Speaker 1: a lot of people who don't live with their mother
Speaker 1: in lawa and have like that level of closeness. There
Speaker 1: is no part of their relationship that I look at
Speaker 1: and think is weird. I literally look at their relationship
Speaker 1: and think it is the most aspirational relationship for a
Speaker 1: mother and son to have. He has so much respect
Speaker 1: for his mum, and she totally understands where my boundaries
Speaker 1: are at in terms of everything.
Speaker 2: Put your head in your dad's lap, friand Messa.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but we don't have that.
Speaker 3: It's just the people who are weird about this are
Speaker 3: like no, I could never imagine because I don't have
Speaker 3: that relationship ship.
Speaker 1: You know, I would never lay down on my dad's
Speaker 1: lt and be like Massa like my it's just not
Speaker 1: quite right.
Speaker 2: Anyway, let's move back to this. There's nothing you can
Speaker 2: do about it unless it's actually infiltrating your life to
Speaker 2: the point that she's turning up. I think exactly like
Speaker 2: you said, Laura, it could just be a way for
Speaker 2: her to connect with her son, to have something to
Speaker 2: talk about, to make sure he's safe.
Speaker 1: She might be lonely.
Speaker 2: She might be lonely, but not even that. There are
Speaker 2: a lot of parents that have trouble letting go. It
Speaker 2: can be a really hard thing, and she one hundred
Speaker 2: percent has not let go. It's not necessarily bad. You
Speaker 2: can't ask her to not check in on him. You
Speaker 2: can't ask him to turn his location settings off. I
Speaker 2: believe I think that's just gonna cause chaos.
Speaker 1: You definitely can't ask her not to check in. You
Speaker 1: could ask your husband to turn off sharing his location settings.
Speaker 1: The only thing is is then yeah, it's like is
Speaker 1: the juice worth the squeeze, which we often ask, It's like, okay,
Speaker 1: she's gonna know. She might say, oh, you turned your
Speaker 1: location settings off, and then like you have to have
Speaker 1: a conversation around why she feels sad. She might yeah, exactly.
Speaker 1: I don't know. Part of me is like I find
Speaker 1: it odd because I don't share my location settings with
Speaker 1: anyone at all, but you might have.
Speaker 2: To do in case you end up in a bin.
Speaker 2: How will we know?
Speaker 1: I don't know. Part of me thinks it's odd. Do
Speaker 1: I think it's it's like damaging to your relationship?
Speaker 2: No, So like just location settings are hard. I only
Speaker 2: share it with my sister Sherry and Ben and Sherry.
Speaker 2: I always forget that I share it with people, so
Speaker 2: I don't check in on people. But the number of
Speaker 2: times Sherry has called me out on something where she's like,
Speaker 2: I'm going to her house for dinner, I'm meeting her
Speaker 2: somewhere or whatever it is, and she's like are you closed?
Speaker 2: And I'm like on my way not far. She's like,
Speaker 2: you're literally in your house. He's still in a shower,
Speaker 2: and I'm like fuck. I always figure I'm like I
Speaker 2: was like, yeah, gotcha, I'm walking out of the door.
Speaker 2: She's like, you're not. She's like, I can see that
Speaker 2: you're not. You haven't moved. That's when, again get a
Speaker 2: bit tricky.
Speaker 3: Do you think that it's an intimacy. I'm trying to
Speaker 3: think of why I find this so week. I want
Speaker 3: to validate this person. I find this so weird. I
Speaker 3: only share my location with my boyfriend, and we've only
Speaker 3: started doing that in the last I think six months.
Speaker 4: He does night shifts.
Speaker 3: I like to make sure that he, like, if I'm
Speaker 3: at work, that he's driven home and he's gotten home okay.
Speaker 3: And it kind of helps because he can't have his
Speaker 3: phone on him at work, so if you know, I'm
Speaker 3: making dinner or whatever, I'll know if he's still thirty
Speaker 3: minutes away because I can see where he is. I
Speaker 3: find that it's like quite an intimate thing between us
Speaker 3: that we I've never trusted someone to share a location
Speaker 3: with before, Like I always found it was just a
Speaker 3: bit of a weird independence breaker, you know, Like I
Speaker 3: just wanted the autonomy of no one knowing where I
Speaker 3: was so I didn't have to explain it all.
Speaker 1: I don't know what it was.
Speaker 3: I was weird about it until quite recently, so I
Speaker 3: think that that's why I find it so weird that
Speaker 3: the mum has the location.
Speaker 4: It feels like an intimate thing to me.
Speaker 2: I think it's intimate.
Speaker 1: I think it definitely makes him seem like he's a
Speaker 1: bit of a mummy's boy for sure, and like he
Speaker 1: hasn't necessarily shared.
Speaker 4: To begin with.
Speaker 1: Well, you never know, they could have been on holidays together,
Speaker 1: like there could have been any number of reason as
Speaker 1: to why it was shared in the first place.
Speaker 2: But that's why you do the one week one not indefinitely,
Speaker 2: Like you know, when it says do you want to
Speaker 2: share for one hour, one week or indefinitely, don't pick it?
Speaker 2: Definitely pick one week and extend all right? Question number two,
Speaker 2: how did two avoidance make a relationship work? I'm twenty
Speaker 2: nine and I finally got my hands on the man
Speaker 2: I've been plotting about for ten years. That sounds so bad.
Speaker 1: That's a long time to have feelings with someone.
Speaker 2: But also it sounds like you've finally got your hands
Speaker 2: on like a limited edition bag or something like something
Speaker 2: that I've waited. I've finally got my hands on this guy.
Speaker 2: I've been lotting about for ten years. This sounds extreme
Speaker 2: pining for I think she means yeah, no judgment. We've
Speaker 2: always I judge and don't listen. I mean I listen
Speaker 2: and don't judge.
Speaker 1: We've that sounds like every argument ever I judge and
Speaker 1: I don't listen.
Speaker 2: Yeah, what you're wrong? What? Okay? We've always had a
Speaker 2: strong connection, but life has led us in different directions
Speaker 2: over the years. We've been seeing each other as exclusive
Speaker 2: friends with benefits for the last year, but things have
Speaker 2: evolved recently. We spend hours chatting planning our future. Our
Speaker 2: communication is great, We're super compatible. The spark is strong.
Speaker 2: It may as well be on fire.
Speaker 1: Wow, she sounds wonderful.
Speaker 2: But we have both realized that we have avoidant attachment styles,
Speaker 2: which has prevented us from going all in. Recently, we've
Speaker 2: both admitted we're in deep and would like to be together.
Speaker 2: So my question is, how do quote unquote regular people
Speaker 2: do this. I can't get my head around how to
Speaker 2: be a girlfriend and what that mean for my sense
Speaker 2: of self and my lifestyle. I'm hyper independent, falling in love,
Speaker 2: and absolutely terrified. Help.
Speaker 1: I think this is interesting because on one hand, you've
Speaker 1: said that you have spent heaps of time. We spend
Speaker 1: hours chatting, planning our future, and our communication is great.
Speaker 1: So it sounds like to me, you're already it's not avoiding,
Speaker 1: you're already so far down that rabbit hole. Or maybe
Speaker 1: you're quite okay with the conversation part, but then when
Speaker 1: it comes into the actuality of committing yourself or committing
Speaker 1: your time, that's when you start to freak out. My
Speaker 1: only thing around this is like, I think that sometimes
Speaker 1: we can self sabotage. You say you've had feelings of
Speaker 1: this guy for ten years, you've been in a friends
Speaker 1: with benefit relationship for a year, you now finally made
Speaker 1: the commitment to give it a go. I would say,
Speaker 1: if you are having second thoughts about that, or you're
Speaker 1: finding it difficult to commit to it properly, like that
Speaker 1: is deeply avoided, and it's like, be careful of the
Speaker 1: line between self sabotage and also blaming your avoidant personality
Speaker 1: type as your excuse for this, because you're clearly very
Speaker 1: aware that you pride on your independence. You love your independence,
Speaker 1: you love having your own sensus self. You can maintain
Speaker 1: all of those things in a healthy relationship. You don't
Speaker 1: sacrifice all of that just because you've started dating someone.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and I understand what you're feeling. I remember feeling
Speaker 2: the same thing. I'm assuming when you say you've been plotting,
Speaker 2: slash pining for this guy for ten years, I'm assuming
Speaker 2: you were probably single for most of that time. It's
Speaker 2: really difficult when you've been really independent and on your
Speaker 2: own and not dating, to then date and be dependent.
Speaker 2: And I remember feeling the same way. I remember saying
Speaker 2: to my friend, I don't know how to be in
Speaker 2: a relationship. I don't know how to be a partner.
Speaker 2: I don't know how to be a girlfriend. I don't
Speaker 2: know what the expectations are. I don't know how to
Speaker 2: share my life with someone. Which is silly because everyone knows,
Speaker 2: right like everyone has that. But when you get accustomed
Speaker 2: to live in a certain way or only relying on
Speaker 2: yourself or doing everything on your own, you said you're
Speaker 2: hyper independent. Well it's not silly, no, but it's a
Speaker 2: big life change one hundred percent, And that's scares people.
Speaker 2: It scared me. I remember thinking, am I going to
Speaker 2: be with no one else again? In my whole life?
Speaker 2: Am I going to be with this one person? What
Speaker 2: if this person's not right, then you start to get
Speaker 2: in your head and that's when the self sabotage comes in.
Speaker 2: I think you need to roll with it. Absolutely, two
Speaker 2: people that are the same avoidant or whatever your attachment is,
Speaker 2: any two people can be together if you're hyper aware
Speaker 2: and socially enough aware of what you are, what your
Speaker 2: communication style is, and who you are. That's half the battle.
Speaker 2: You might need to work a little bit harder than
Speaker 2: two other different types of styles that are matched together. Like,
Speaker 2: there are definitely people that are more compatible, but anyone
Speaker 2: can make anything work when they understand what they are,
Speaker 2: what their partner is, what they need, and what work
Speaker 2: you have to do to meet each other halfway. But
Speaker 2: I don't think, like Laura said, I'm not convinced you
Speaker 2: are avoidant. I think you're a bit scared to take
Speaker 2: the leap into this new phase of life because you
Speaker 2: have an experience for so long. Also, sometimes when you're
Speaker 2: chasing something for so long, you've been chasing this for
Speaker 2: ten years, all of a sudden you've got it. There's
Speaker 2: something where it's like holy shit, like do I actually
Speaker 2: want this? Is this where we're going? Am I? But
Speaker 2: I think you're not avoidant, And I think no, I think.
Speaker 1: She is avoidant. I think absolutely can be. I think
Speaker 1: an avoidant person can like know that then recognize that
Speaker 1: they want all those things in another person, and they
Speaker 1: can like verbally apply themselves. But once it gets to
Speaker 1: a place where they actually have to like physically make
Speaker 1: those commitments or things are feeling like that level of
Speaker 1: intimacy is increasing, or the closeness or that they're encroaching
Speaker 1: on their time, that's a trigger for them, and so
Speaker 1: then they start to pull away, Hence the whole idea
Speaker 1: of self sabotage. But I guess my thing is, and
Speaker 1: look for anyone who's not one hundred percent across like
Speaker 1: what an avoidant attachment style is. Avoidant attachment styles in
Speaker 1: relationships may avoid expressions of intimacy and affection and pull
Speaker 1: back from romantic connections once they start to become too serious.
Speaker 1: It doesn't mean that they don't love their partner, they
Speaker 1: just struggle with connection. The thing, though, is, and what
Speaker 1: I believe is like, if you have recognized the type
Speaker 1: of personality style that you are, you can do the
Speaker 1: work to change it. You can recognize your triggers, you
Speaker 1: can actually start to change the behaviors. Once you start
Speaker 1: to see yourself doing them, you're not. And I hate
Speaker 1: this idea that we're just like a victim to our
Speaker 1: attachment style, that you can never have a great relationship
Speaker 1: because your X, Y Z attachment styles are fluid. They
Speaker 1: change depending on what relationship you're in, what the attachment
Speaker 1: style is of the person that you are dating.
Speaker 2: What period of life you're in, one hundred.
Speaker 1: Percent, what you want, what you need, what your experience
Speaker 1: is at that point in your life. The fact that
Speaker 1: you are aware of it means that you are not
Speaker 1: a slave to it, and the fact that your partner
Speaker 1: is also aware of it means that he doesn't have
Speaker 1: to be either. I would hope that you have enough
Speaker 1: ability to stop using it as an excuse to limit
Speaker 1: yourself in your relationships, because I really think that even
Speaker 1: two people who are avoidant can have a really mutually
Speaker 1: incredible relationship because they understand and value what is important
Speaker 1: to each person. If independence is important to you, the
Speaker 1: great thing is is that your partner also has that
Speaker 1: strong need for independence. You can respect that in each other.
Speaker 1: You can respect the fact that you both really want
Speaker 1: to maintain a strong sense of your own identity, it
Speaker 1: just means you're going to have to work a little
Speaker 1: bit harder to have the deeper level of communication and connection,
Speaker 1: which it sounds like you're doing that anyway, because you're
Speaker 1: talking for hours about where your future is going to be.
Speaker 2: Agree with everything. And what I want to say here
Speaker 2: is I do think that there might be a chance
Speaker 2: that you are confusing avoidant attachment style with just being scared.
Speaker 2: And I say that because everything you've said, we have
Speaker 2: a great connection, we plan our future. You literally say
Speaker 2: communication is great, we chat for hours, we plan our future.
Speaker 2: The spark is strong. We are so combatible, we want
Speaker 2: to go all in. I think you're just scared. I
Speaker 2: actually don't think you're avoidant at all. But I think
Speaker 2: we're so used to having to put a label on everything,
Speaker 2: which sometimes we don't need to put a label. And
Speaker 2: it's normal to be scared when you're going into a
Speaker 2: new chapter. It's normal to be scared to put your
Speaker 2: emotions and your heart on the line because there's a
Speaker 2: chance it doesn't work and something you thought or romanticized
Speaker 2: or fantasy for ten years might not turn out to
Speaker 2: be exactly what you need, and that can be really scary.
Speaker 1: I have a question when you say scared for it,
Speaker 1: because I often think sometimes we speak about this idea
Speaker 1: of like being scared to lose yourself in a relationship
Speaker 1: or lose your sense of identity, But actually, what I
Speaker 1: think we're scared of is being hurt. It's not so
Speaker 1: much about the losing yourself or what the relationship could be.
Speaker 1: It's the fact that, like, if you open yourself up
Speaker 1: to it entirely, then there's a greater possibility of being
Speaker 1: really deeply hurt by it. And so when you've been
Speaker 1: single for a long time or you've only been dating
Speaker 1: for a long time and haven't given yourself over to
Speaker 1: those feelings, that is like a frightening thing.
Speaker 2: Yeah, And I say, I think you're confusing the two
Speaker 2: because you've literally said all these amazing things, and then
Speaker 2: you say, I'm absolutely terrified. So I don't think you're avoidant.
Speaker 2: I think you are just scared, which is completely normal.
Speaker 2: I want to validate those feelings. What I do think
Speaker 2: you need to do is there's no right way to
Speaker 2: be a girlfriend. There's just two people that make whatever
Speaker 2: their relationship is and their personalities work. You've if this
Speaker 2: for so long, our life is short. What are you
Speaker 2: scared for jump in if there's a chance it doesn't
Speaker 2: work out. That's also life, and that is completely okay.
Speaker 2: It's normal most people, I mean everyone at some point,
Speaker 2: except if you are one of those people that their
Speaker 2: first relationship at sixteen is the person they marry for
Speaker 2: their life. Everyone experiences failed relationships, but they're not failed.
Speaker 2: It's just a part of the journey to find the person.
Speaker 2: My advice here is to absolutely go all in. This
Speaker 2: is not a new thing. It's ten years in the making.
Speaker 2: Your communication is there. You can still be hyper independent
Speaker 2: in a relationship. I mean, that's exactly what I am
Speaker 2: right now. I know it's long distance, but I would
Speaker 2: still be hyper independent if I lived with Ben, because
Speaker 2: it's who my personality is. A relationship doesn't have to
Speaker 2: change you and take that away. You do have to
Speaker 2: be malleable with a partner, Like you might not be
Speaker 2: able to go away on benders for weekends without communicating
Speaker 2: that you're not going to be in contact. Like maybe
Speaker 2: things change in that sense, yep.
Speaker 1: But that's still independence. That's selfishness.
Speaker 2: That's my point, Like, you can still have your independence
Speaker 2: and be all in in a relationship.
Speaker 1: My thought though, is, and I think that there is
Speaker 1: a greater debt here in terms of like feeling like
Speaker 1: there is like what's on the line, the risk of
Speaker 1: what's on the line. And that's because it is someone
Speaker 1: who you've been pining about for ten years. The fear
Speaker 1: factor is greater because you've already built up a sense
Speaker 1: of what this relationship could be in your head. I
Speaker 1: would say that if you've been pining or you've had
Speaker 1: a crush on someone for ten years, you've probably built
Speaker 1: them into a bit of like a magical being and
Speaker 1: the potential of your relationship into like a magical possibility.
Speaker 1: The reality is is you have no idea what this
Speaker 1: relationship is going to be until you give it a shot.
Speaker 1: It may not meet up to the expectations, it may
Speaker 1: exceed them. There is absolutely no way of knowing. But
Speaker 1: I think be very very careful with what is you
Speaker 1: excited and like invested in the potential of the relationship
Speaker 1: rather than what necessarily the relationship is, and treating it
Speaker 1: as though you're starting a new relationship, not that you're
Speaker 1: coming into this with ten years of like life excitement
Speaker 1: and like suspense around what it could be, Because that's
Speaker 1: definitely gonna change how you feel? Question number three Is
Speaker 1: it weird for the bridal party to slow dance with
Speaker 1: their partners? What are your thoughts on a bride making
Speaker 1: the bridesmaids and groomsmen slow dance together at the start
Speaker 1: of the night. My boyfriend is in a wedding and
Speaker 1: he has to slow dance with his partner for five minutes.
Speaker 1: She said that in a capital So I feel like
Speaker 1: we gotten that. Yeah, to really put some emphasis on
Speaker 1: this is this normal? Am I overreacting that? I find
Speaker 1: it so weird. My heart rate is resting at one
Speaker 1: hundred and twenty beats right now. I am that anxious.
Speaker 2: I don't think that was literal. I think that's her
Speaker 2: trying and say she's stress. I don't think she's got
Speaker 2: a whoop on that's testing Harry.
Speaker 1: Maybe she does. I feel like it's very accurate.
Speaker 2: Oh, that's weird. Five minutes is a really long slow dance.
Speaker 2: I don't know who's slow dancing for five minutes. That's
Speaker 2: multiple songs. Songs don't even go for five minutes, that's
Speaker 2: my point. That's two to three songs of slow dance.
Speaker 2: So I think that's an exaggeration or if she is
Speaker 2: making them dance for three songs in a road. That's
Speaker 2: fucking weird. Absolutely, This idea of making the bridal party
Speaker 2: slow dance is something of the ages. Is something that
Speaker 2: has been like a standard traditional part of weddings for
Speaker 2: as long as I can remember. I've had to do
Speaker 2: it before. It's just a part of being like, hey,
Speaker 2: these are our people that we have chosen that are
Speaker 2: coming on the dance floor to dance. I don't think
Speaker 2: it needs to be a staple in a wedding. It
Speaker 2: does confuse me a little bit, but I understand it,
Speaker 2: and I don't think it has to be that much
Speaker 2: of a big deal. He hasn't chosen to You're not
Speaker 2: at a wedding and he's like, hey, Babs, I'm going
Speaker 2: to go and ask the bridesmad to dance. It's a
Speaker 2: part of what that bride and groom have chosen for
Speaker 2: their bridal party to do and partake in. It is
Speaker 2: sometimes weird, I remember, but once I had to slow
Speaker 2: dance with someone that I didn't know that was on
Speaker 2: the other side of the party, and it was weird.
Speaker 2: It was uncomfortable. We're very close and intimate, You're looking
Speaker 2: at each other's eyes and like, don't know you partner's
Speaker 2: over there. Sure, it's unusual. I don't know if I'm
Speaker 2: going to make my people do it at my wedding.
Speaker 2: It's something I haven't thought about to now.
Speaker 1: Okay, well think about it. You're gonna make people slow
Speaker 1: dance who don't know each other.
Speaker 2: Probably not, or they can come on if they want
Speaker 2: with their partners, or they can come on with someone. But
Speaker 2: having said that, I remember being at a wedding single
Speaker 2: before and everyone went out. The party went out with
Speaker 2: their partners instead of the bridal party, and I was
Speaker 2: just standing there like a little turtle off to the site.
Speaker 2: I was like, oh, no, one wants a dance.
Speaker 1: You made me dance with you at Laura's wedding.
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's like the partner time. Because we were both.
Speaker 2: Saying that's my point exactly, I was like, O, Kisha
Speaker 2: gonna have this dance? I think you are overthinking it.
Speaker 2: It's just a part of weddings, it has been for years.
Speaker 2: It doesn't mean anything is going to happen. It doesn't
Speaker 2: mean he loves you any less. I would be questioning
Speaker 2: why it makes you uncomfortable?
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean I read this and I think if
Speaker 1: your partner is part of a bridal party, they've been
Speaker 1: matched with a stranger, or they've been matched with someone
Speaker 1: that they might know kind of a little bit, and
Speaker 1: they've been asked to slow dance with them. I think
Speaker 1: that the slow dance is innocent. The slow dance doesn't
Speaker 1: mean anything. There's no like, there's no secret deep connection.
Speaker 1: There doesn't mean he's going to run off with her.
Speaker 1: It's not he won't. He's not going to. I find
Speaker 1: it odd that it creates this much anxiety in you,
Speaker 1: the thought of your partner slow dancing with someone else
Speaker 1: when it's been something that's like an expectation. You know.
Speaker 1: It's interesting because like coming off the back of Dancing
Speaker 1: with the Stars, right, like you've just done it, brit.
Speaker 2: You grind all up on a stranger.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and I did it two years ago. I was
Speaker 1: matched with my dance partner, and it is there is
Speaker 1: like a real intimacy there. But slow dancing doesn't have
Speaker 1: to be like I mean, we were like doing the
Speaker 1: bloody we were like up against each other, right, Like
Speaker 1: that's what that dance was. And I found it really
Speaker 1: weird because there's like a level of intimacy. But then
Speaker 1: there's no chemistry, but like you just got to kind
Speaker 1: of make the chemistry seem like it's convincing, and you're
Speaker 1: supposed to be.
Speaker 2: Telling like a love story goes you guys are in
Speaker 2: love and this you're on this journey. It's totally looking
Speaker 2: at each other and so you don't.
Speaker 1: Know though, which is a very different kettle of fish
Speaker 1: to having a slow dance at a wedding. They don't
Speaker 1: have to be staring into each other's eyes and holding
Speaker 1: each other really close. They can just do the two
Speaker 1: step from side to side kind of, you know, half
Speaker 1: holding each other. I don't think that it's slow dance
Speaker 1: has to be a level of intimacy that's uncomfortable, And
Speaker 1: if he's making it a level of intimacy that's uncomfortable,
Speaker 1: that's weird in and of itself. You know, people slow
Speaker 1: dance with their mums. They slow dance like dancing is
Speaker 1: just dancing. And to me, I guess it's like the
Speaker 1: bride has an idea of what she wants for her wedding,
Speaker 1: and that's for her and her husband to be on
Speaker 1: the dance floor with her bridal party and all of
Speaker 1: them to have a dance together. It maybe because she
Speaker 1: doesn't want to be like on the dance floor by
Speaker 1: herself with her husband. That might be uncomfortable for her.
Speaker 1: So I don't think it's a big deal. And like
Speaker 1: I said, my biggest reaction to this is the fact
Speaker 1: that it is creating that much anxiety in you. Do
Speaker 1: you not trust your partner? Do you find it uncomfortable
Speaker 1: when they speak to girls or spend time with girls
Speaker 1: outside of your relationship? Like? What is it about this?
Speaker 1: It's that triggering for you that you are literally in capitals,
Speaker 1: like I am that anxious.
Speaker 2: I think it's way more simple than that, Like, I
Speaker 2: know that we're covering all bases. I think it's really simple.
Speaker 2: I just don't think you understand that it's a normal
Speaker 2: part of weddings. Maybe you haven't into that mini because
Speaker 2: you literally say, is it normal that they have to
Speaker 2: do this, they have to dance together?
Speaker 1: Is that weird? It's not weird.
Speaker 2: It's a very standard part of a lot of weddings.
Speaker 2: So I do just wonder if maybe you haven't had
Speaker 2: that exposure or know a lot of people that have
Speaker 2: gone to weddings like that. But it's like every wedding
Speaker 2: that I have ever known or ever been to has
Speaker 2: pretty much has this aspect. I can't remember if.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Like there's no ulterior there's no ulterior motive, like
Speaker 1: they're not trying to get the bridal party together, like
Speaker 1: to hook up or anything.
Speaker 2: And you can be waiting on the sidelines to swoop
Speaker 2: in the second that that three point five songs and
Speaker 2: five minutes is over, Like you're in there.
Speaker 1: Hear me out. Maybe she's not invited to the wedding
Speaker 1: and that's why she has the anxiety. Maybe they are
Speaker 1: a new couple, which I would understand. Then if you're
Speaker 1: a new couple, you haven't been invited, so you already
Speaker 1: feel a little bit invalidated in your dating and in
Speaker 1: your relationship, and then you find out that your partner
Speaker 1: is going and slow dancing. What I think has happened
Speaker 1: here is that you are catastrophizing a situation in your
Speaker 1: head because you are feeling in the blanks.
Speaker 2: I think she just doesn't know.
Speaker 1: No, I don't think she's going to the wedding.
Speaker 2: I agree, Laura, But I genuine only just think she
Speaker 2: doesn't know. She just said, is it normal for them
Speaker 2: to slow dance? Yeah, it's normal totally.
Speaker 1: But my thing is is if you were there and
Speaker 1: you were able to witness it, there's no way that
Speaker 1: you would feel as insecure as what you do now.
Speaker 1: It's the fact that you're not there, you're not witnessing it,
Speaker 1: and so therefore it's turned into a bigger thing in
Speaker 1: your head than what actually it is.
Speaker 2: Unless he's been matched with like Mirandaka or something like
Speaker 2: I did see Courtney Cox recently. Was it a wedding
Speaker 2: in Australia?
Speaker 1: My friend did her makeup?
Speaker 4: Yeah?
Speaker 1: At the wedding.
Speaker 2: Margot Robbie not long ago, was a bridesmaid for her friend. Like, yeah,
Speaker 2: that's where my insecurity would come from. If my boyfriend
Speaker 2: had a five minute SLW dance with Margo Robbie.
Speaker 1: N I'd be so fine. I'd be like, she's out
Speaker 1: of your league.
Speaker 2: No, I'd do it. I'd be like, tap it if
Speaker 2: you could. I was like, yeah, just for sorry, No,
Speaker 2: I wouldn't. But completely normal. The five minutes not normal,
Speaker 2: that's weird, that's really abnormal. Did you do it, Laura,
Speaker 2: I can't remember. Did you make your No, we.
Speaker 1: Didn't slow dance, though we did a silly dance. At
Speaker 1: no point did we have a slow dance in our wedding.
Speaker 1: We just went from like.
Speaker 2: My dance is going to be the slowest dance you've
Speaker 2: ever seen.
Speaker 1: We did like a mock slow dance for about thirty seconds,
Speaker 1: and then we busted into like a funny routine and
Speaker 1: then everyone the band just started playing, so everyone was
Speaker 1: on the dance for having a party.
Speaker 2: Can you imagine Ben doing a choreograph dance? Absolutely not.
Speaker 1: I find slow dancing unless you're good at it, like
Speaker 1: unless you've learned to slow dance, or you can do
Speaker 1: a waltz or something. I find it uncomfortable for everyone
Speaker 1: else to stand around and watch a little bit, like
Speaker 1: when two people don't know how to dance, but they
Speaker 1: kind of look forced into just swaying from side to side.
Speaker 1: You know that they've never done it before.
Speaker 2: Well, Laura, avert your eyes my wedding.
Speaker 1: I don't want to go to the toilet. I just
Speaker 1: find it like why do we make people do this?
Speaker 1: Like why is this such a tradition when clearly so
Speaker 1: many people are uncomfortable by doing it.
Speaker 2: I did read I'm very much up on the trends
Speaker 2: at the moment, whending trends betweenty twenty five it's my algorithm.
Speaker 2: Choreograph dancers are out the shame. Yeah, Choreograph dances are
Speaker 2: absolutely out. So are entries. You know how they have
Speaker 2: entries where people dance in the bridesmaids You remember I
Speaker 2: had to do it once.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I've done it at most my weddings too, out
Speaker 1: every bride'smaid of But why that just sounds like fun
Speaker 1: is our?
Speaker 2: What?
Speaker 1: So like you need to have this polished wedding that
Speaker 1: has no personality.
Speaker 2: I mean, no one listens to trends anyway. I'm just
Speaker 2: saying that's what the algorithm told me.
Speaker 1: I don't think people should be listening to algorithms for weddings.
Speaker 1: I think I have the wedding that you want to have,
Speaker 1: absolutely yeah, And I would one hundred percent prefer a
Speaker 1: couple to do a silly choreographed dance then to watch
Speaker 1: two people awkwardly sway from side to side. Wow.
Speaker 2: Double down, Laura. I Am going to be awkwardly swaying
Speaker 2: from side to side so Ben does not crump, He
Speaker 2: does not do choreography.
Speaker 1: Ben will do the awkward sway. You've just had six
Speaker 1: weeks of like professional elite dancing.
Speaker 2: I'm not going to sasha around him ways stands still
Speaker 2: in them match if you just stand still and like
Speaker 2: sways like an elephants side to side and I'm like
Speaker 2: sashaying around.
Speaker 1: But that would almost be like any man who's on
Speaker 1: Dancing with the Stars, Like if you've watched that show,
Speaker 1: most of the men don't have to dance, They just
Speaker 1: do a couple of like steps and the professional female
Speaker 1: dancer spins around them so rapidly that it makes them
Speaker 1: look good.
Speaker 2: They always do in they do nothing. I mean, the
Speaker 2: women are doing backflips in high heels. But I will
Speaker 2: I'll probably try and teach Ben like one. What I'm
Speaker 2: hoping is we can make it look good. I'm hoping
Speaker 2: that sixty percent is swaying from side side, but then
Speaker 2: I can put a good dip in and put one
Speaker 2: good lift in. It's got to be thirty seconds, that's it,
Speaker 2: and then I'm hoping that we can nail it. We
Speaker 2: can confuse people so much and I'll I'll probably have
Speaker 2: some fireworks going off to distract at the same time
Speaker 2: so people don't know where to look.
Speaker 1: All right, guys, well, look that is it from us.
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