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Speaker 1: It's the Happy Families podcast. It's the podcast for the

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Speaker 1: time poor parent who just wants answers Now.

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Speaker 2: I love that the kids are so excited to include

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Speaker 2: us in the process. We have one child who is

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Speaker 2: a very adamant that everybody has to watch each other

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Speaker 2: open at presence.

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Speaker 1: And now here's the stars of our show, my mum

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Speaker 1: and Dad.

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Speaker 3: I feel like I want to break into song. I

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Speaker 3: feel like I want to sing jingle Bells, but the

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Speaker 3: Aussie version.

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Speaker 4: It's kind of weird being.

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Speaker 3: In Australia and hearing all of these songs about you know,

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Speaker 3: let it snow, let it snow, let it snow, and.

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Speaker 2: I become a grinchman all those songs.

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Speaker 3: I am dreaming of a white Christmas. No, I'm not

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Speaker 3: well actually, I mean it might be nice to try

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Speaker 3: it once, but.

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Speaker 2: What white sand?

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Speaker 4: You know what? I but that's it.

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Speaker 3: I like the fact that at Christmas time in Australia

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Speaker 3: we go to the beach, we go to we lay

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Speaker 3: by the pool, like it's just the best time of

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Speaker 3: the year for Christmas. I can't imagine doing Christmas in

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Speaker 3: the snow by the way, how like this is doctor

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Speaker 3: Justin Kilson.

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Speaker 4: Sorry, I've gotten carried Away.

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Speaker 3: I'm the author of six books about raising a happy family,

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Speaker 3: and my wife Colylie missus Happy Family, is the mum

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Speaker 3: to our six baby girls who are growing up way

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Speaker 3: too fast.

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Speaker 4: Another Christmas, you know.

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Speaker 2: Recently, I just discovered Marco Polo. It's a new app, right.

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Speaker 4: Well, it's not that new, but it's an app.

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Speaker 2: It's a new app for me and one of my

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Speaker 2: friends who lives in America, and we've reconnected after about

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Speaker 2: seven or eight years of not having much contact at all,

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Speaker 2: and it's been brilliant. And where she lives in America,

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Speaker 2: it's snowing.

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Speaker 4: She's in Indianapolis, she is and knowing.

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Speaker 2: She said to me the other day, she said, it's

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Speaker 2: like I don't know three degrees at the moment, and

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Speaker 2: tomorrow morning it's supposed to be our first snow of

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Speaker 2: the season. And I messaged it back and I was like,

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Speaker 2: snow for Christmas, Like that is so exciting, I said,

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Speaker 2: I've heard lots of people tell me that it's actually

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Speaker 2: a real pain at the barm and they don't enjoy

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Speaker 2: it after a while because it's so cold and you

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Speaker 2: get snowed in.

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Speaker 4: And she gave me all the.

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Speaker 2: Reasons why snow doesn't work And I said, I know,

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Speaker 2: I said, but it just sounds so romantic. She got

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Speaker 2: back to me and she was like it is for

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Speaker 2: the first day.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, and then and it's nice. She's just wishing that

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Speaker 4: she was laying by the pool.

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Speaker 2: It goes all sooty and you know, it's not nice

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Speaker 2: and white anymore.

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Speaker 3: And like dashing through the snow and one hook. First

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Speaker 3: of all, no one dashes through well, you don't dash

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Speaker 3: through the snow, but especially in a one horse open sleigh.

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Speaker 4: Who's going to have an open sleigh in the middle

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Speaker 4: of winter. My goodness, there's snow green.

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Speaker 3: I like dashing through the bush in a rusty hole

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Speaker 3: in ut, kicking up the dust, eski in the boots,

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Speaker 3: Kelpie by my side, singing Crispins songs at summer time

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Speaker 3: and I'm in my singlet short and thongs.

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Speaker 2: There we go.

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Speaker 4: That's how we do jingle bells here in Australia. Land.

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Speaker 3: Hey, let's talk about some Christmas traditions because everybody's got

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Speaker 3: them and sometimes we just don't realize how awesome they are.

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Speaker 3: You know, my favorite Christmas tradition I'm going to start prawns.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, they're all yours. Yeah, that's what I love about Christmas.

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Speaker 3: Nobody in my family likes prawns except for me, and

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Speaker 3: I get the whole. I don't know the whole keelo

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Speaker 3: kill except when your mom comes over and I've got

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Speaker 3: to share them with your mum. I love prawns, and well,

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Speaker 3: you know.

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Speaker 2: A couple of a couple of weeks back, we actually

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Speaker 2: did talk about traditions in general as part of.

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Speaker 3: Book club, how important they are for building well being

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Speaker 3: and certainty and identity, so so very important for making

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Speaker 3: families happy.

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Speaker 2: And in that podcast we actually talked about one of

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Speaker 2: our favorite Christmas traditions being that Santa brings everybody a

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Speaker 2: mango and a ginger beer.

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Speaker 3: Everyone except me, and as we discovered the other day,

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Speaker 3: miss Emily, who doesn't want a mango. She wants a

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Speaker 3: pineapple that she can share with us.

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Speaker 2: Do you want a pineapple too?

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Speaker 4: I just share Emily.

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Speaker 3: But but yeah, so we've got these Christmas traditions like

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Speaker 3: I get my prawns and I pretty much get them

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Speaker 3: to myself, and Santa comes with the essentials, primarily and

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Speaker 3: a mango and a ginger beer that the kids can

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Speaker 3: count on from Santa every year what o the Christmas traditions.

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Speaker 4: Do we have?

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Speaker 2: When the kids were very, very young, we actually decided

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Speaker 2: that Santa would no longer be the one who brought

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Speaker 2: them their big gifts. And part of that came because

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Speaker 2: we were actually financially struggling and we couldn't compete with

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Speaker 2: Santa at all as parents, and it kind of seemed

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Speaker 2: a little bit unfair because.

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Speaker 4: Santa would bring the kids.

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Speaker 3: So I'm a full time student, we're renting where we've

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Speaker 3: got four kids or whatever it is, five kids, and

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Speaker 3: we were like, hang on, we can't compete with Santa.

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Speaker 3: Santa brings the kids these awesome things and we give

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Speaker 3: them the leftovers.

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Speaker 4: Let's swap that around. Yeah, totally.

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Speaker 2: So in our house from the time that the kids

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Speaker 2: can remember, Santa is the one who fills their stockings,

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Speaker 2: and so he's the one that brings them their mango

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Speaker 2: and ginger beer.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, and their socks and undies.

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Speaker 2: Yes, those necessities.

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Speaker 4: That's exactly right.

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Speaker 3: So that's been a little I mean, this is how

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Speaker 3: easy traditions are, right, They're just little miniature things. We've

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Speaker 3: got a bunch of faith based traditions because we've got

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Speaker 3: a strong faith ourselves and so we have time reading

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Speaker 3: the Christmas story and reviewing themivity and talking about what

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Speaker 3: that means with our family. That's how we start off

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Speaker 3: our Christmas morning, usually around the tree, before we even

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Speaker 3: get stuck into any Christmasy stuff, except for the fact

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Speaker 3: that the kids are reading Man Goes and drinking ginger beer.

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Speaker 4: While we do it.

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Speaker 5: Well.

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Speaker 2: As part of that, one of the things that the

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Speaker 2: kids have again created of their own accord, is we

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Speaker 2: made a rule that no one was allowed to open

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Speaker 2: presents until Mum and Dad were out of bed, because

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Speaker 2: we'd miss all the magic of them opening them up.

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Speaker 2: And so they decided, well, was it okay if they

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Speaker 2: opened up their stockings? And we said okay. But that

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Speaker 2: inevitably means that we end up with six children sitting

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Speaker 2: on the end of our bed with their stockings because

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Speaker 2: they're so excited about them, and they wake us up anyway.

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Speaker 3: I love that though, And let's face it, we're in Queensland,

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Speaker 3: so we don't have daylight savings, which means the sun

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Speaker 3: comes up at four point thirty, and so you and

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Speaker 3: I are awake by five anyway, and we're usually awake

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Speaker 3: even on Christmas Day before the kids maybe even jump

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Speaker 3: in the pool before them, you know, have a bit

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Speaker 3: of a dip on Christmas Day?

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Speaker 4: What better check? Come on, let's start a new tradition

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Speaker 4: this year anyway.

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Speaker 2: So I love that, and I love that the kids

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Speaker 2: are so excited to include us in the process. We

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Speaker 2: have one child, I'm not going to name her, but

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Speaker 2: we have one child who is very adamant that everybody

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Speaker 2: has to watch each other open their presence because she

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Speaker 2: gets just as excited about seeing what her sisters get

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Speaker 2: as she does opening up her own presence. And that

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Speaker 2: has actually created a beautiful tradition of savoring in our home.

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Speaker 2: You know, there isn't that kind of manic craziness around gifts.

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Speaker 2: There's actually this is opportunity for everybody to savor what's

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Speaker 2: being shared and what's been given. And I love that.

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Speaker 4: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: The research on savoring that is the amplification or magnification

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Speaker 3: of a positive experience. That's the technical definition of savoring.

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Speaker 3: The data on saving shows that it's one of the

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Speaker 3: most wonderful ways to well being. Hey, let's talk about

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Speaker 3: a couple of other traditions in just a sec and

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Speaker 3: we might even find out what some people are doing

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Speaker 3: for their own Christmas traditions.

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Speaker 4: That's next.

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Speaker 6: It's the Happy Families Podcast.

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Speaker 7: Imagine a home where discipline got results without anyone having

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Speaker 7: to feel bad or in trouble. The do's and don'ts

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Speaker 7: of discipline as a webinar to help parents set limits

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Speaker 7: with love, compassion and humanity. Find it now at happy

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Speaker 7: families dot com au slash shop.

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Speaker 2: It's the Happy Families Podcast, the podcast for the time

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Speaker 2: poor parent who just wants answers now. And we have

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Speaker 2: been talking about Christmas traditions. We asked a few parents

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Speaker 2: what they love about Christmas or the traditions that they

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Speaker 2: have instilled in their children.

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Speaker 8: We went to Victoria from Queensland to meet up with

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Speaker 8: all our relatives that were down there for Christmas. Was

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Speaker 8: important to spend time with family.

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Speaker 7: Yeah.

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Speaker 5: Look, we've really just tried to instill the value of

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Speaker 5: our giving is better than receiving, trying to get the

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Speaker 5: kids thinking about others, maybe other kids who aren't as

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Speaker 5: fortunate as them, rather than just focusing on all the

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Speaker 5: things that they're going to get.

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Speaker 6: Our family tradition each Christmas is to always go to

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Speaker 6: church in the morning as a family, So trying to

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Speaker 6: instill that in the kids that it's you know what

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Speaker 6: the real meaning of Christmas is. We go to church

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Speaker 6: and then we try and get them to wait to

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Speaker 6: unwrap their presents till we get home till after church,

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Speaker 6: and then we just enjoy the rest of the day

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Speaker 6: together as a family.

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Speaker 4: So what else do we do.

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Speaker 3: I've been thinking about it and I'm actually struggling to

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Speaker 3: come up with some others.

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Speaker 4: You know.

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Speaker 3: One thing that we do, and this is something that

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Speaker 3: we started to do really intentionally in the last handful

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Speaker 3: of years, and it's made Christmas really special, is we

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Speaker 3: have our family Christmases in the days leading up to Christmas.

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Speaker 3: You know, so some weekend, any weekend before Christmas Day,

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Speaker 3: we'll get together with my family or your family, or

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Speaker 3: even maybe after Christmas, and we have our family, our

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Speaker 3: extended family Christmas celebrations on days other than Christmas Day.

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Speaker 3: For our family with six children, what that means is

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Speaker 3: we get to have a really quiet, insular kind of

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Speaker 3: Christmas Day just for our kids at home, without all

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Speaker 3: the hustle and the bustle and the and the drama

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Speaker 3: of the cooking and cleaning and just everything that ties

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Speaker 3: you out. We don't have to do that on Christmas.

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Speaker 8: Day.

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Speaker 3: We get to keep Christmas Day as a really sacred

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Speaker 3: little cocoon for our family.

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Speaker 2: It's one of the things that I love about our

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Speaker 2: Christmas Day. It's just so pleasing to not have any

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Speaker 2: expectations or you know, parameters around what we do. It's

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Speaker 2: literally up to us, and I just I love the

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Speaker 2: freedom of it, and I love the intentional way we're

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Speaker 2: able to spend time together without having to worry about,

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Speaker 2: you know, being stuck in the kitchen for four or

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Speaker 2: five hours.

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Speaker 4: Okay, have we got any others or is that about it?

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Speaker 1: Oh?

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Speaker 2: My goodness, I can't believe you're asking me if there's

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Speaker 2: any more. We've talked about this before, the idea of

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Speaker 2: giving our children a book and a little.

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Speaker 4: Block tops it that night before Christmas Eve.

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Speaker 2: That's right, and we have loved doing that because we're

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Speaker 2: all bookworms. We all love to read a book, but

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Speaker 2: we get in trouble because we're supposed to turn the

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Speaker 2: lights out at a certain time. So Christmas Eve is

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Speaker 2: the one time where there is no lights out rule.

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Speaker 2: The kids can stay up as late as they want

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Speaker 2: reading their brand new book, and inevitably everyone goes to

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Speaker 2: sleep nice and early, very.

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Speaker 3: Early, and if they don't, who cares, right, because tomorrow

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Speaker 3: is Christmas Day and if they sleep in weekend.

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Speaker 4: That's right.

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Speaker 2: So it works beautifully for so many reasons, and it

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Speaker 2: gives Santa a little bit of extra time to do

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Speaker 2: what they need to do.

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Speaker 3: So this actually comes from I found out about this

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Speaker 3: via social media. It's actually an Icelandic tradition called Joe

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Speaker 3: lobbla cuff lawge don't try Yes, I don't know if

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Speaker 3: I said that right, Joela Boka flood and it basically

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Speaker 3: means the flood of books, and it's a tradition that

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Speaker 3: has been happening for decades in Iceland where they sit down.

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Speaker 4: Obviously it's cold there, but they've got their hot chocolate.

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Speaker 3: They sit in front of the fireplace and they read

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Speaker 3: books on Christmas even. It's a really peaceful way to

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Speaker 3: settle in for what's going to be a great day

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Speaker 3: the next day.

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Speaker 2: Well, this year, I thought that we needed to kind

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Speaker 2: of just vamp things up a little bit. So I

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Speaker 2: got a bit excited, and I hope the kids aren't listening.

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Speaker 2: But I've brought matching pajamas to go with their books.

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Speaker 4: So the books match the pajamas.

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Speaker 2: No no, no, no, no.

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Speaker 3: Other kids one another match teacher right, Okay.

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Speaker 2: So I'm super excited about it.

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Speaker 4: For the kids, I'm glad. I think that they look

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Speaker 4: really cute in their armies.

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Speaker 2: Another couple of things that we've done in the past,

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Speaker 2: we every year, now that we're living close to the cousins,

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Speaker 2: we get together and have a craft Christmas Craft Day.

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Speaker 2: This year we're actually going to attempt something we've never

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Speaker 2: done before. We're making gingerbread houses from scratch. So if

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Speaker 2: anyone out there can tell me how to do it

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Speaker 2: without failing, I would love some tips.

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Speaker 3: Ye centers, try to podcasts and happy Families dot com,

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Speaker 3: dot you.

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Speaker 4: We don't mind that.

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Speaker 3: But the Christmas craft Day with the cousins, again, we've

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Speaker 3: got six of our own kids the cousins. There's there's

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Speaker 3: five in one family, and there's a handful in the

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Speaker 3: other families that are around. We've got a big family,

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Speaker 3: so it makes this stuff very very easy. But if

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Speaker 3: you don't have a big family, you can always combine,

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Speaker 3: you know, you can do stuff with friends and yeah,

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Speaker 3: again it comes down to intention and planning. This is

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Speaker 3: how traditions created, and.

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Speaker 2: We've created a couple of new traditions this year again

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Speaker 2: just organically growing.

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Speaker 4: Does it count as a tradition if we've only done

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Speaker 4: it once?

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Speaker 2: It does if the kids say we're doing it again.

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Speaker 3: Okay, right, So obviously, the one Christmas movie per night

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Speaker 3: through the month of December.

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Speaker 2: Well, we've actually been doing that in the past. But

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Speaker 2: with books, each Christmas I actually try to find a

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Speaker 2: new Christmas story to add to our collection. And so

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Speaker 2: while the kids were very young, we used to read

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Speaker 2: books together.

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Speaker 3: I kind of miss that I'd rather read a book

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Speaker 3: than watch a movie, and books are faster.

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Speaker 4: You're so bad.

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Speaker 2: I am still reading those Christmas stories with Emily, but

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Speaker 2: the big kids don't enjoy listen, you know, kind of

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Speaker 2: reading the little kiddie books. And so you know, this

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Speaker 2: year we've obviously added the videos to it instead. We've

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Speaker 2: also this is probably one of my favorite ones. And

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Speaker 2: this has come about because we got to a point

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Speaker 2: where we realized that we're now really having come out

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Speaker 2: of being students for such a long time, in a

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Speaker 2: position where no one actually needs anything anymore, and Christmas

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Speaker 2: has become so materialistic that we really wanted to kind

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Speaker 2: of just change things up a little bit, and so

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Speaker 2: we have a favorite book, a favorite Christmas book called

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Speaker 2: Christmas Jars, which recently became a movie that the kids

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Speaker 2: love watching, and in it it just talks about, you know,

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Speaker 2: somebody who started this small tradition in their home where

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Speaker 2: they just collected all of their loose change through the

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Speaker 2: year and at Christmas time they would anonymously leave it

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Speaker 2: on somebody's doorstep who needed it. And so that one

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Speaker 2: person has actually started this whole new tradition, like.

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Speaker 4: A worldwide movement of Christmas job and.

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Speaker 2: You can google it and you can see all of

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Speaker 2: the different stories that have come about as a result

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Speaker 2: of this wonderful, selfless giving. And so in our family,

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Speaker 2: we decided a few years ago that that's what we

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Speaker 2: were doing. We actually included our extended family in it.

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Speaker 2: And so it's not about how much you put in

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Speaker 2: the jar, it's about what we collectively are able to do,

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Speaker 2: because every cent counts, and so each year is a

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Speaker 2: family We come together, we talk about who we might

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Speaker 2: share it with, and sometimes it's a charity, sometimes it's

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Speaker 2: somebody we know. And this year we're doing something a

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Speaker 2: little bit different. I've actually become associated with the local

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Speaker 2: charity who deals with families that are either experiencing homelessness

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Speaker 2: or domestic violence in our local area, and at Christmas

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Speaker 2: time they do a Christmas Toy drive and they actually

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Speaker 2: go on door knock each door to find out who

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Speaker 2: the children are, what their ages are, and then hand

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Speaker 2: pick gifts that have been donated to them to actually

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Speaker 2: meet those children's ages and needs. And so this year,

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Speaker 2: as our family culminates all of our gatherings and collections

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Speaker 2: from our year's coinage, we have actually assigned each of

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Speaker 2: the children a little budget to go and purchase gifts

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Speaker 2: for a child of their sex and age. And I'm

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Speaker 2: so excited for them to actually be a part of

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Speaker 2: the process. It's one thing to give a jar of

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Speaker 2: money away, but as our children actually have the opportunity

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Speaker 2: to specifically think about somebody who has less than them

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Speaker 2: and be able to give them something that they wish

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Speaker 2: they could get, I just I'm so excited for them

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Speaker 2: to be involved in that process. So the giving jar

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Speaker 2: has been something that we have just loved initiating in

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Speaker 2: our home.

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Speaker 4: So I just googled it.

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Speaker 3: By the way, the Christmas jar tradition is based on

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Speaker 3: the two thousand and five New York Times bestselling novel

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Speaker 3: by Jason Wright. So we've got the book, but I

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Speaker 3: didn't know that it was a New York Times bestseller.

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Speaker 3: Jason Wright is called the Christmas Jar. I think ed

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Speaker 3: is there, and the idea is you just save up

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Speaker 3: some cash or throw your spare coins in there, and

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Speaker 3: then you give the money away to somebody in need

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Speaker 3: or in this case go and actually the closer you

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Speaker 3: can get your kids to the actual giving to the

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Speaker 3: person in need, the more meaningful it is.

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Speaker 4: I can't wait to report back and talk about how

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Speaker 4: the kids go with it. I'm really excited for that.

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Speaker 4: So there's some of our Christmas traditions.

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Speaker 3: We'd love to hear about yours podcasts at Happy Families

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Speaker 3: dot com dot au. That's the email address for you

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Speaker 3: to be able to get in touch with us.

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Speaker 4: We'd love to get your feedback.

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Speaker 3: We'd love to hear what you're doing to make Christmas meaningful.

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Speaker 4: At your place in the meantime.

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Speaker 3: Jingle bells, Jingle bells, Jingle all the way Christmas in

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Speaker 3: Australia on a scorching summer's day.

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Speaker 4: Hey, we would love to get your feedback. Leave your

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Speaker 4: ratings and reviews for.

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Speaker 3: The podcast at Apple podcasts so that everyone can find

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Speaker 3: out about how much you enjoy the podcast and make

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Speaker 3: their families happier. Our podcast is produced by Justin Rulan

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Speaker 3: from Bridge Media.

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Speaker 4: Our executive producer is Craig Bruce.

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Speaker 3: If you'd like more information about how I can help

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Speaker 3: make your family flourish, especially if you'd like to have

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00:16:38,840 --> 00:16:42,920
Speaker 3: ongoing monthly support via our amazing Happy Families memberships, visit

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Speaker 3: Happy Families dot com dot au