WEBVTT - MINI! She's waited HOW LONG for him to make it official?

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<v Speaker 1>Thursday afternoon. It is the pick up Britt, Laura and

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<v Speaker 1>Mitch thanks to Chemist ware House heading today great savings

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<v Speaker 1>every day.

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<v Speaker 2>Ask our.

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<v Speaker 3>So asking cut It is a favorite that we do

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<v Speaker 3>here every Thursday.

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<v Speaker 2>It is where you call in with.

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<v Speaker 3>Your biggest, deeps, darkest problems and we do our best

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<v Speaker 3>to answer them even though we're completely unqualified. And we

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<v Speaker 3>have someone in today who's got a relationship problem.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, Alyssa joins us. Hailey start, what's your issue? What

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<v Speaker 1>can we help with? Hi?

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<v Speaker 4>I've been dating a guy for a year and a half.

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<v Speaker 4>Now we are.

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<v Speaker 5>Quote unquote exclusive, but not in a relationship.

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<v Speaker 2>Congratulations. Wait, it's elusive, but not in a relationship.

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<v Speaker 5>Mean it means that we're not seeing other people.

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<v Speaker 4>It means we sort of act like a couple, except

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<v Speaker 4>for the fact that there's no commitment.

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<v Speaker 6>You're not seeing other people, but you could if you

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<v Speaker 6>wanted to.

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<v Speaker 4>We're not seeing other people, but we're not boyfriend and girlfriend,

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<v Speaker 4>which is weird because, like I, I've met his parents,

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<v Speaker 4>I've met all of his friends, I've met his workplace,

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<v Speaker 4>He's come to my work party. You know, we've spoken

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<v Speaker 4>about potential overseas trips. He went and took me the

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<v Speaker 4>other week to this like really expensive, like two thousand

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<v Speaker 4>dollars a night at Duick's enclosure.

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<v Speaker 3>Seeing now, he's doing everything that you would do if

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<v Speaker 3>you are boyfriend and girlfriend, but he doesn't want to

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<v Speaker 3>call you his girlfriend and he doesn't want you to

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<v Speaker 3>call him your boyfriend.

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<v Speaker 4>Yeah, basically, I mean, I think the only thing that

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<v Speaker 4>I don't have is because there's not that official commitment

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<v Speaker 4>like like once a month. Sometimes he'll just randomly go

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<v Speaker 4>cold for like a few days.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, so what do you call each other when you

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<v Speaker 1>go out? Like, oh, can I get a drink for

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<v Speaker 1>my co worker, my acquaintance.

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<v Speaker 5>College other by each other's name.

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<v Speaker 3>The reason why I think that this is so like,

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<v Speaker 3>especially because it's been going on for a year and

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<v Speaker 3>a half, which if you want to be in a

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<v Speaker 3>relationship with him and you want a committed relationship, is

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<v Speaker 3>just way too long. The reason for that is because

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<v Speaker 3>he gets all the perks of having a girlfriend. You're

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<v Speaker 3>doing everything that a girlfriend's doing for him. He gets

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<v Speaker 3>to have someone to call whenever he needs it. He

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<v Speaker 3>gets someone a booty call whenever he needs it. He

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<v Speaker 3>has the companionship, the friendship, and zero responsibility because if

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<v Speaker 3>he turns around to tomorrow and says, look, I don't

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<v Speaker 3>want to be with you anymore, He's going to say,

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<v Speaker 3>but I told you I didn't want a girlfriend totally.

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<v Speaker 2>Why did you? How could you possibly be.

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<v Speaker 3>So mad and upset with me? Because I've been telling

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<v Speaker 3>you this whole time I didn't want a girlfriend.

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<v Speaker 6>These situations are absolutely fine if both parties think it's

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<v Speaker 6>fine and it's a respectful situation. Obviously you're at a

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<v Speaker 6>point where you don't think it's fine. You want more,

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<v Speaker 6>and he's not being respectful to me. That's a level

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<v Speaker 6>of disrespect. So I think if you want a relationship,

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<v Speaker 6>you need to just tell him what you want, and

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<v Speaker 6>if he's not going to meet you there, you need

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<v Speaker 6>to probably walk away.

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<v Speaker 1>Is he older than you or is he younger? Where's

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<v Speaker 1>he at?

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<v Speaker 5>And he's five years older? I know. I actually have

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<v Speaker 5>tried to ender the couple of times, but.

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<v Speaker 4>Honestly, like I'm just so in love with him, I

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<v Speaker 4>couldn't stand my ground long enough and I ended up

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<v Speaker 4>crawling back because I just I had such bad anxiety

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<v Speaker 4>and like every day look at my phone.

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<v Speaker 3>Have you have you ever given him the ultimatum around

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<v Speaker 3>if you want this to continue, then I need more.

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<v Speaker 2>I need more from you.

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<v Speaker 4>I feel like I have an a roundabout way, I

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<v Speaker 4>potentially haven't been directed off.

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<v Speaker 3>And what does he say to you when you do

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<v Speaker 3>bring this up, even in an a roundabout way, He.

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<v Speaker 5>Says that he sorry, I'm getting really much.

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<v Speaker 2>It's really.

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<v Speaker 5>He says that he's not ready to love someone else

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<v Speaker 5>because he doesn't love himself, because he within himself has

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<v Speaker 5>the mental health stuff, which is why I want to

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<v Speaker 5>help him, and I want to help him feel love.

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<v Speaker 1>As much as you love him, you need to put

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<v Speaker 1>that love towards yourself. You can't be giving that to

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<v Speaker 1>him because no amount of love you give him will

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<v Speaker 1>ever be enough or we'll.

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<v Speaker 2>Fix that problem.

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<v Speaker 3>My other big question is is if he's saying these

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<v Speaker 3>things to you, that's a huge responsibility for you to

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<v Speaker 3>take on. And he also needs to be going and

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<v Speaker 3>doing things like going and seeing a healthcare professional, going

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<v Speaker 3>and speaking to a psychiatrist. If he's got real mental

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<v Speaker 3>health problems, You're not the person who should take on

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<v Speaker 3>the full brunt of the responsibility to fix that for him.

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<v Speaker 2>His mother, you're not.

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<v Speaker 6>And the other thing to really remember here is so

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<v Speaker 6>you can be head over heels in love with somebody.

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<v Speaker 6>They can love you and you cannot be right for each.

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<v Speaker 2>Other like that happens.

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<v Speaker 6>Love doesn't mean soulmate and perfection and healthy relationship. It

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<v Speaker 6>sounds like you're not going to get what you need

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<v Speaker 6>from him, and as high as it is, you need

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<v Speaker 6>to look after you and put your priorities first. Yeah.

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<v Speaker 1>Also, sometimes a bit of space in a relationship can

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<v Speaker 1>do wonders. Just pull yourself away, call his bluff.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I agree.

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<v Speaker 3>I think sometimes giving yourself a bit of space and

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<v Speaker 3>saying look, you know, either step up to the table

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<v Speaker 3>or I think we might need to take a break

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<v Speaker 3>from this might actually be the thing that makes him

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<v Speaker 3>go okay. Well, I don't want to lose this relationship

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<v Speaker 3>because at the the moment he's getting everything he wants

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<v Speaker 3>without any commitment.

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<v Speaker 5>I feel like I can can do that, but I

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<v Speaker 5>mind need to give you guys my phone I have read.

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<v Speaker 2>Is the pip. It's fine. Sometimes you have to lock

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<v Speaker 2>mitches away too, fine, and please let us know how

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<v Speaker 2>it goes once you have the conversation. Would love to hear.

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<v Speaker 5>Thanks so much, girls, I really appreciate it.

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<v Speaker 1>No, Lisa, I'm a boy now if you want to,

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<v Speaker 1>if you want to get on the air with us,

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<v Speaker 1>you can ride in. There's a full dedicated web page.

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<v Speaker 1>Go to the pickup dot com and you just Sir

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<v Speaker 1>Jaska and cut write in any issue. We'll do a

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<v Speaker 1>relationship fun. It can be sixy. Next on the show,

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<v Speaker 1>Taylor Swift tickets an entire row. Your chance to win

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<v Speaker 1>them as she's coming to Australia for her era as

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<v Speaker 1>World too are your chance coming up