Speaker 1: Thursday afternoon. It is the pick up Britt, Laura and
Speaker 1: Mitch thanks to Chemist ware House heading today great savings
Speaker 1: every day.
Speaker 2: Ask our.
Speaker 3: So asking cut It is a favorite that we do
Speaker 3: here every Thursday.
Speaker 2: It is where you call in with.
Speaker 3: Your biggest, deeps, darkest problems and we do our best
Speaker 3: to answer them even though we're completely unqualified. And we
Speaker 3: have someone in today who's got a relationship problem.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Alyssa joins us. Hailey start, what's your issue? What
Speaker 1: can we help with? Hi?
Speaker 4: I've been dating a guy for a year and a half.
Speaker 4: Now we are.
Speaker 5: Quote unquote exclusive, but not in a relationship.
Speaker 2: Congratulations. Wait, it's elusive, but not in a relationship.
Speaker 5: Mean it means that we're not seeing other people.
Speaker 4: It means we sort of act like a couple, except
Speaker 4: for the fact that there's no commitment.
Speaker 6: You're not seeing other people, but you could if you
Speaker 6: wanted to.
Speaker 4: We're not seeing other people, but we're not boyfriend and girlfriend,
Speaker 4: which is weird because, like I, I've met his parents,
Speaker 4: I've met all of his friends, I've met his workplace,
Speaker 4: He's come to my work party. You know, we've spoken
Speaker 4: about potential overseas trips. He went and took me the
Speaker 4: other week to this like really expensive, like two thousand
Speaker 4: dollars a night at Duick's enclosure.
Speaker 3: Seeing now, he's doing everything that you would do if
Speaker 3: you are boyfriend and girlfriend, but he doesn't want to
Speaker 3: call you his girlfriend and he doesn't want you to
Speaker 3: call him your boyfriend.
Speaker 4: Yeah, basically, I mean, I think the only thing that
Speaker 4: I don't have is because there's not that official commitment
Speaker 4: like like once a month. Sometimes he'll just randomly go
Speaker 4: cold for like a few days.
Speaker 1: Yeah, so what do you call each other when you
Speaker 1: go out? Like, oh, can I get a drink for
Speaker 1: my co worker, my acquaintance.
Speaker 5: College other by each other's name.
Speaker 3: The reason why I think that this is so like,
Speaker 3: especially because it's been going on for a year and
Speaker 3: a half, which if you want to be in a
Speaker 3: relationship with him and you want a committed relationship, is
Speaker 3: just way too long. The reason for that is because
Speaker 3: he gets all the perks of having a girlfriend. You're
Speaker 3: doing everything that a girlfriend's doing for him. He gets
Speaker 3: to have someone to call whenever he needs it. He
Speaker 3: gets someone a booty call whenever he needs it. He
Speaker 3: has the companionship, the friendship, and zero responsibility because if
Speaker 3: he turns around to tomorrow and says, look, I don't
Speaker 3: want to be with you anymore, He's going to say,
Speaker 3: but I told you I didn't want a girlfriend totally.
Speaker 2: Why did you? How could you possibly be.
Speaker 3: So mad and upset with me? Because I've been telling
Speaker 3: you this whole time I didn't want a girlfriend.
Speaker 6: These situations are absolutely fine if both parties think it's
Speaker 6: fine and it's a respectful situation. Obviously you're at a
Speaker 6: point where you don't think it's fine. You want more,
Speaker 6: and he's not being respectful to me. That's a level
Speaker 6: of disrespect. So I think if you want a relationship,
Speaker 6: you need to just tell him what you want, and
Speaker 6: if he's not going to meet you there, you need
Speaker 6: to probably walk away.
Speaker 1: Is he older than you or is he younger? Where's
Speaker 1: he at?
Speaker 5: And he's five years older? I know. I actually have
Speaker 5: tried to ender the couple of times, but.
Speaker 4: Honestly, like I'm just so in love with him, I
Speaker 4: couldn't stand my ground long enough and I ended up
Speaker 4: crawling back because I just I had such bad anxiety
Speaker 4: and like every day look at my phone.
Speaker 3: Have you have you ever given him the ultimatum around
Speaker 3: if you want this to continue, then I need more.
Speaker 2: I need more from you.
Speaker 4: I feel like I have an a roundabout way, I
Speaker 4: potentially haven't been directed off.
Speaker 3: And what does he say to you when you do
Speaker 3: bring this up, even in an a roundabout way, He.
Speaker 5: Says that he sorry, I'm getting really much.
Speaker 2: It's really.
Speaker 5: He says that he's not ready to love someone else
Speaker 5: because he doesn't love himself, because he within himself has
Speaker 5: the mental health stuff, which is why I want to
Speaker 5: help him, and I want to help him feel love.
Speaker 1: As much as you love him, you need to put
Speaker 1: that love towards yourself. You can't be giving that to
Speaker 1: him because no amount of love you give him will
Speaker 1: ever be enough or we'll.
Speaker 2: Fix that problem.
Speaker 3: My other big question is is if he's saying these
Speaker 3: things to you, that's a huge responsibility for you to
Speaker 3: take on. And he also needs to be going and
Speaker 3: doing things like going and seeing a healthcare professional, going
Speaker 3: and speaking to a psychiatrist. If he's got real mental
Speaker 3: health problems, You're not the person who should take on
Speaker 3: the full brunt of the responsibility to fix that for him.
Speaker 2: His mother, you're not.
Speaker 6: And the other thing to really remember here is so
Speaker 6: you can be head over heels in love with somebody.
Speaker 6: They can love you and you cannot be right for each.
Speaker 2: Other like that happens.
Speaker 6: Love doesn't mean soulmate and perfection and healthy relationship. It
Speaker 6: sounds like you're not going to get what you need
Speaker 6: from him, and as high as it is, you need
Speaker 6: to look after you and put your priorities first. Yeah.
Speaker 1: Also, sometimes a bit of space in a relationship can
Speaker 1: do wonders. Just pull yourself away, call his bluff.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I agree.
Speaker 3: I think sometimes giving yourself a bit of space and
Speaker 3: saying look, you know, either step up to the table
Speaker 3: or I think we might need to take a break
Speaker 3: from this might actually be the thing that makes him
Speaker 3: go okay. Well, I don't want to lose this relationship
Speaker 3: because at the the moment he's getting everything he wants
Speaker 3: without any commitment.
Speaker 5: I feel like I can can do that, but I
Speaker 5: mind need to give you guys my phone I have read.
Speaker 2: Is the pip. It's fine. Sometimes you have to lock
Speaker 2: mitches away too, fine, and please let us know how
Speaker 2: it goes once you have the conversation. Would love to hear.
Speaker 5: Thanks so much, girls, I really appreciate it.
Speaker 1: No, Lisa, I'm a boy now if you want to,
Speaker 1: if you want to get on the air with us,
Speaker 1: you can ride in. There's a full dedicated web page.
Speaker 1: Go to the pickup dot com and you just Sir
Speaker 1: Jaska and cut write in any issue. We'll do a
Speaker 1: relationship fun. It can be sixy. Next on the show,
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Speaker 1: World too are your chance coming up