1 00:00:03,480 --> 00:00:07,080 Speaker 1: It's the Happy Families podcast. It's the podcast for the 2 00:00:07,160 --> 00:00:10,119 Speaker 1: time poor parent who just wants answers. 3 00:00:10,200 --> 00:00:13,960 Speaker 2: Now, my mom has told me consistently from day one 4 00:00:14,000 --> 00:00:16,320 Speaker 2: that I'm not as funny as I think that I am. 5 00:00:16,880 --> 00:00:19,960 Speaker 2: And she has begged me from day one to not 6 00:00:20,040 --> 00:00:21,840 Speaker 2: try to be funny when I'm giving talks, and don't 7 00:00:21,840 --> 00:00:23,560 Speaker 2: try to be funny in your books, because justin you're 8 00:00:23,600 --> 00:00:26,240 Speaker 2: just not funny. I think that I'm way funnier than 9 00:00:26,239 --> 00:00:27,200 Speaker 2: my mom thinks that I am. 10 00:00:27,520 --> 00:00:30,760 Speaker 1: And now here's the stars of our show, my mom 11 00:00:30,800 --> 00:00:31,280 Speaker 1: and Dad. 12 00:00:31,560 --> 00:00:34,520 Speaker 2: Spring. I love springtime. I didn't mention it yesterday because 13 00:00:34,520 --> 00:00:38,040 Speaker 2: I was talking with James Breakwall the exploding unicorn from Twitter. 14 00:00:38,520 --> 00:00:40,880 Speaker 2: But spring Kylie, I love the freshness of spring. I 15 00:00:40,960 --> 00:00:44,800 Speaker 2: love I don't love the magpie swooping, but I love springtime. 16 00:00:44,840 --> 00:00:48,920 Speaker 2: And it's here second of September this weekend Father's Day. 17 00:00:49,120 --> 00:00:51,080 Speaker 2: I don't do Father's Day very well. Have you noticed 18 00:00:51,080 --> 00:00:54,640 Speaker 2: that over the last twenty three years of Father's daying, 19 00:00:55,000 --> 00:00:55,680 Speaker 2: you seem to have. 20 00:00:55,640 --> 00:00:59,000 Speaker 3: This expectation that just because it's Father's Day, the kids 21 00:00:59,000 --> 00:01:02,160 Speaker 3: are going to bring out their magical awesomeness. 22 00:01:02,280 --> 00:01:05,039 Speaker 2: No, I don't have that it's my dream and my desire. 23 00:01:05,120 --> 00:01:08,199 Speaker 2: It's not an expectation, it's my and it just never 24 00:01:08,280 --> 00:01:13,119 Speaker 2: happens unfulfilled. Hope that one Father's Day the kids are 25 00:01:13,120 --> 00:01:16,399 Speaker 2: actually not going to fight with each other and just 26 00:01:16,440 --> 00:01:18,800 Speaker 2: be nice and clean up, and that we're gonna have 27 00:01:18,840 --> 00:01:21,800 Speaker 2: a this who knows, this Father's Day, it might happen. 28 00:01:21,840 --> 00:01:24,560 Speaker 3: It's one of those goldflex moments. Honey. I think you 29 00:01:24,640 --> 00:01:28,600 Speaker 3: just need to, you know, catch on to those little, tiny, brief, 30 00:01:28,800 --> 00:01:30,240 Speaker 3: minuscule moments of joy. 31 00:01:30,360 --> 00:01:32,000 Speaker 2: Well, I think the other thing with Father's Day and 32 00:01:32,319 --> 00:01:33,800 Speaker 2: birthdays and all that sort of things, Well, is I'm 33 00:01:33,840 --> 00:01:35,720 Speaker 2: not a gift kind of person. 34 00:01:35,720 --> 00:01:38,640 Speaker 3: That's not right. Not you're the most painful person I 35 00:01:38,680 --> 00:01:39,600 Speaker 3: have on my gift list. 36 00:01:39,880 --> 00:01:41,959 Speaker 2: It's not. It's not because I'm stingy or anything. I 37 00:01:41,959 --> 00:01:45,679 Speaker 2: actually just don't to me, it's not your love language. No, 38 00:01:45,920 --> 00:01:48,639 Speaker 2: the gift is the relationship. It's the time. It's sitting 39 00:01:48,680 --> 00:01:51,320 Speaker 2: down and enjoying one another. 40 00:01:51,200 --> 00:01:54,320 Speaker 3: Thing publicly giving me an excuse to never have to 41 00:01:54,320 --> 00:01:56,080 Speaker 3: buy you another gift? Is that what you're doing? 42 00:01:56,160 --> 00:01:58,480 Speaker 2: Well? Kind of, except I still like to get something. 43 00:01:58,480 --> 00:02:00,920 Speaker 2: See that's the problem that I know that you've thought 44 00:02:00,960 --> 00:02:02,240 Speaker 2: of me but I don't. 45 00:02:02,200 --> 00:02:05,160 Speaker 3: So I'm not the gift anymore. The gift is the 46 00:02:05,200 --> 00:02:05,880 Speaker 3: thought of gift. 47 00:02:05,960 --> 00:02:08,400 Speaker 2: Oh don't do this to me. I just I struggle 48 00:02:08,440 --> 00:02:09,960 Speaker 2: with gifts and it's not like you said, it's not 49 00:02:10,000 --> 00:02:14,040 Speaker 2: my language. I just don't get it. And Father's Day 50 00:02:14,080 --> 00:02:16,360 Speaker 2: this year, I don't have any expectations. 51 00:02:16,360 --> 00:02:17,359 Speaker 3: I want another coffee mug. 52 00:02:17,520 --> 00:02:20,160 Speaker 2: I just want hugs, and I just want the kids 53 00:02:20,200 --> 00:02:23,839 Speaker 2: to be nice to each other and if they can, 54 00:02:23,919 --> 00:02:25,840 Speaker 2: if they can help to keep things clean and tidy, 55 00:02:25,880 --> 00:02:27,840 Speaker 2: and we can just enjoy time together, that'll be fine. 56 00:02:27,919 --> 00:02:29,800 Speaker 2: That's all. I want, nothing much. 57 00:02:30,120 --> 00:02:31,639 Speaker 3: You're not asking for much at all. 58 00:02:31,600 --> 00:02:33,720 Speaker 2: Nothing much at all. Normally on a Friday, we do 59 00:02:33,760 --> 00:02:35,320 Speaker 2: I'll do better tomorrow. This is a bit where we 60 00:02:35,360 --> 00:02:37,760 Speaker 2: reflect on the week that was, We talk about what 61 00:02:37,760 --> 00:02:39,840 Speaker 2: we learned, how it can be be better parents. But 62 00:02:39,919 --> 00:02:42,120 Speaker 2: today you have something in store for me, and I 63 00:02:42,120 --> 00:02:44,120 Speaker 2: don't know exactly what it is, but I do know 64 00:02:44,680 --> 00:02:47,160 Speaker 2: that you and Craig Bruce, our executive producer, have been 65 00:02:47,360 --> 00:02:48,560 Speaker 2: cooking something up. 66 00:02:49,200 --> 00:02:52,639 Speaker 3: Well. You know, we've been celebrating Father's Day this week 67 00:02:52,680 --> 00:02:56,440 Speaker 3: and you've had conversations with James and the exploding Unicorn. 68 00:02:56,639 --> 00:02:57,680 Speaker 2: It was great yesterday. 69 00:02:57,960 --> 00:02:59,960 Speaker 3: Yeah, but you also talk to Usher and you talk 70 00:03:00,040 --> 00:03:03,079 Speaker 3: to David Campbell, and you were pretty cruel. You gave 71 00:03:03,120 --> 00:03:05,760 Speaker 3: them these lightning Round questions and they had to answer 72 00:03:05,800 --> 00:03:08,000 Speaker 3: them really really fast. And you've done it to me 73 00:03:08,040 --> 00:03:09,520 Speaker 3: as well a couple of times, and I thought it 74 00:03:09,520 --> 00:03:11,080 Speaker 3: was about time that you sit in the hot seat. 75 00:03:11,120 --> 00:03:13,480 Speaker 2: Can I just highlight nobody does Lightning Round as well. 76 00:03:13,520 --> 00:03:15,639 Speaker 2: Everyone thinks lightning Round for the first two questions, and 77 00:03:15,680 --> 00:03:17,200 Speaker 2: then they get caught up in the questions because they're 78 00:03:17,240 --> 00:03:19,760 Speaker 2: great questions and they really want to elaborate on their answers. 79 00:03:19,800 --> 00:03:20,880 Speaker 3: Well, let's see how well you going. 80 00:03:20,919 --> 00:03:22,440 Speaker 2: Okay, Well, I'm not going to say who it was, 81 00:03:22,480 --> 00:03:24,720 Speaker 2: but one of the three guests that I had when 82 00:03:24,720 --> 00:03:27,280 Speaker 2: I said lightning round normally six to ten minutes, one 83 00:03:27,280 --> 00:03:30,200 Speaker 2: of the guests we've had to edit heavily because his 84 00:03:30,320 --> 00:03:32,200 Speaker 2: Lightning Round went for forty five minutes. 85 00:03:32,760 --> 00:03:35,040 Speaker 3: Well, Jr, I want the clock to start. 86 00:03:35,560 --> 00:03:39,400 Speaker 2: Don't do it to me. Okay, I'm ready at the 87 00:03:39,440 --> 00:03:40,880 Speaker 2: same questions that I ask everyone else. 88 00:03:40,920 --> 00:03:42,400 Speaker 3: Of course, not that would be unfair. 89 00:03:42,480 --> 00:03:44,040 Speaker 2: Yeah, I've had time to think about any answers to 90 00:03:44,080 --> 00:03:47,040 Speaker 2: those ones. All right, let's hear it. Father's Day with 91 00:03:47,120 --> 00:03:49,400 Speaker 2: doctor Tusin Coulson in the hot seat. 92 00:03:51,320 --> 00:03:56,240 Speaker 3: Okay, first question, father first or husband first? 93 00:03:56,520 --> 00:03:58,720 Speaker 2: Husband, I don't even need to think about it. You 94 00:03:58,760 --> 00:03:59,960 Speaker 2: come first one hundred percent. 95 00:04:00,480 --> 00:04:02,839 Speaker 3: Well, how do the two roles interact with each other? 96 00:04:03,520 --> 00:04:05,560 Speaker 2: I know that I'm better as a dad where my 97 00:04:05,640 --> 00:04:10,200 Speaker 2: relationship with you is beautiful and settled and connected. When 98 00:04:10,320 --> 00:04:12,360 Speaker 2: you and I are seeing each other and hearing each 99 00:04:12,400 --> 00:04:14,680 Speaker 2: other and valuing each other, we are so much better 100 00:04:14,720 --> 00:04:16,880 Speaker 2: as a team working with our kids. And I firmly 101 00:04:16,920 --> 00:04:20,400 Speaker 2: believe that the strength of a family in ninety nine 102 00:04:20,440 --> 00:04:23,280 Speaker 2: point nine percent of cases is founded on the strength 103 00:04:23,279 --> 00:04:25,960 Speaker 2: of the relationship between the parents, the biological parents, the 104 00:04:26,000 --> 00:04:28,159 Speaker 2: mother and the father, or if the family isn't together, 105 00:04:28,440 --> 00:04:30,120 Speaker 2: the way they co parent, all the way that the 106 00:04:30,120 --> 00:04:33,880 Speaker 2: step parents integrate, the quality of the parental relationship the 107 00:04:33,880 --> 00:04:37,600 Speaker 2: adults in the room. That is the foundation of the family. 108 00:04:38,000 --> 00:04:39,880 Speaker 2: And I've watched it again and again and feel it 109 00:04:39,880 --> 00:04:40,960 Speaker 2: in our family every time. 110 00:04:41,200 --> 00:04:44,880 Speaker 3: It's you first, Thanks, honey. Three things that make you 111 00:04:44,880 --> 00:04:47,719 Speaker 3: a good dad? Actually I always say great dad. 112 00:04:48,200 --> 00:04:50,960 Speaker 2: Okay, thanks, You've really put me on the spot here, 113 00:04:51,520 --> 00:04:56,120 Speaker 2: I think Number one, I love my kids. 114 00:04:56,880 --> 00:05:00,279 Speaker 3: I just love them. 115 00:05:00,560 --> 00:05:02,559 Speaker 2: And they drive me up the wall in so many ways, 116 00:05:02,600 --> 00:05:05,000 Speaker 2: and I get it wrong all the time, but I 117 00:05:05,160 --> 00:05:08,840 Speaker 2: love them to death. I just am crazy about them. 118 00:05:10,120 --> 00:05:16,320 Speaker 2: Number Two, you you make me a great dad because 119 00:05:16,400 --> 00:05:17,800 Speaker 2: of the way that you believe in me, in the 120 00:05:17,839 --> 00:05:19,360 Speaker 2: way that you forgive me, in the way that you 121 00:05:19,880 --> 00:05:23,880 Speaker 2: encourage me to be better. And the third thing, I'm 122 00:05:23,920 --> 00:05:25,760 Speaker 2: actually going to say four because I can't help myself. 123 00:05:25,800 --> 00:05:28,640 Speaker 2: I've always got too much to say. The study that 124 00:05:28,680 --> 00:05:32,280 Speaker 2: I've done, the input, the work that I've done to 125 00:05:32,400 --> 00:05:35,000 Speaker 2: learn what it is that makes a great dad. I 126 00:05:35,040 --> 00:05:37,880 Speaker 2: still don't implement it all, but the stuff that I've 127 00:05:37,960 --> 00:05:41,080 Speaker 2: learned that has undoubtedly made me a much better dad 128 00:05:41,120 --> 00:05:43,000 Speaker 2: than I would have been otherwise. And the fourth thing, 129 00:05:43,000 --> 00:05:44,520 Speaker 2: and this is a really personal thing and something that 130 00:05:44,560 --> 00:05:46,599 Speaker 2: we don't talk about on the podcast very much at all, 131 00:05:47,040 --> 00:05:50,240 Speaker 2: but my faith. The things that we believe in our 132 00:05:50,279 --> 00:05:55,000 Speaker 2: faith about families and about the eternal nature of our relationships. 133 00:05:55,680 --> 00:06:00,440 Speaker 2: It makes me so grateful and so committed to making 134 00:06:00,480 --> 00:06:03,719 Speaker 2: sure that these relationships are right because I believe that 135 00:06:03,760 --> 00:06:06,080 Speaker 2: they last forever for eternity. It's not till death to 136 00:06:06,200 --> 00:06:09,599 Speaker 2: his part. I believe that families are forever and that 137 00:06:09,760 --> 00:06:13,320 Speaker 2: makes me so deeply committed to being a great dad. Gosh, 138 00:06:13,320 --> 00:06:14,120 Speaker 2: you've got me crying. 139 00:06:14,760 --> 00:06:16,440 Speaker 3: I don't know how we're going to get through this, Honey. 140 00:06:18,120 --> 00:06:20,839 Speaker 3: Were there things that you promised yourself you wouldn't do? 141 00:06:23,000 --> 00:06:25,719 Speaker 2: No, I never thought that much about it. You know this. 142 00:06:25,800 --> 00:06:27,960 Speaker 2: When we've started having kids, I had no idea what 143 00:06:28,080 --> 00:06:30,440 Speaker 2: was going on. I had no idea whatsoever, and I 144 00:06:30,520 --> 00:06:32,719 Speaker 2: made all the mistakes that you can make. I think 145 00:06:32,760 --> 00:06:36,680 Speaker 2: over time, I've promised myself multiple times that I won't 146 00:06:36,720 --> 00:06:38,240 Speaker 2: hit the kids, or I won't call the kids' names, 147 00:06:38,279 --> 00:06:39,880 Speaker 2: or I won't do any of those punitive, horrible things 148 00:06:39,880 --> 00:06:41,200 Speaker 2: that we're not supposed to do with our kids, or 149 00:06:41,240 --> 00:06:43,120 Speaker 2: yell and shout and get angry, that I'll always keep 150 00:06:43,160 --> 00:06:46,440 Speaker 2: it cool. And I haven't kept those promises to myself 151 00:06:46,520 --> 00:06:48,680 Speaker 2: or to the kids on some of those things. Some 152 00:06:48,680 --> 00:06:50,000 Speaker 2: of them I've done really well on, and some of 153 00:06:50,000 --> 00:06:51,840 Speaker 2: them I haven't. Because I'm a human and it's really 154 00:06:51,839 --> 00:06:54,040 Speaker 2: hard to be a parent. I guess in the early days, No, 155 00:06:54,080 --> 00:06:56,200 Speaker 2: I didn't make any promises, and I've found it really 156 00:06:56,240 --> 00:06:58,200 Speaker 2: hard to fulfill the promises that I have made to 157 00:06:58,240 --> 00:07:01,560 Speaker 2: myself or to the kids since then. But I try 158 00:07:01,600 --> 00:07:02,400 Speaker 2: real hard. 159 00:07:03,760 --> 00:07:08,000 Speaker 3: We've got six incredible children. What do you hope your 160 00:07:08,080 --> 00:07:09,479 Speaker 3: influence on them has been. 161 00:07:10,360 --> 00:07:13,760 Speaker 2: That they know that they are valued, not for anything 162 00:07:13,800 --> 00:07:16,560 Speaker 2: that they do, or anything that they possess, or anything 163 00:07:16,600 --> 00:07:19,640 Speaker 2: that they give to the world or give to whoever, 164 00:07:19,920 --> 00:07:22,520 Speaker 2: but that they just know that inherently they are worthy, 165 00:07:22,600 --> 00:07:27,520 Speaker 2: that they are wonderful, that they are loved no matter what. 166 00:07:29,120 --> 00:07:35,120 Speaker 3: How do you see yourself in our children's personalities? Oh? 167 00:07:35,160 --> 00:07:41,000 Speaker 2: Boy, I see impulsivity. I see a lot of emotionality. 168 00:07:41,840 --> 00:07:46,480 Speaker 2: I see enthusiasm in several of the kids, and a 169 00:07:46,560 --> 00:07:51,000 Speaker 2: lack of regulation. You know, like I am kind of 170 00:07:51,040 --> 00:07:53,520 Speaker 2: a bit excitable, and several of our children are as well. 171 00:07:54,760 --> 00:08:00,320 Speaker 2: I also see their earnestness. And one thing that I'm 172 00:08:00,320 --> 00:08:02,560 Speaker 2: going to accuse myself of is sometimes I'm just a 173 00:08:02,560 --> 00:08:05,720 Speaker 2: bit too earnest. I take life pretty seriously. Sometimes I 174 00:08:05,760 --> 00:08:08,280 Speaker 2: think some things really do matter and should be taken seriously, 175 00:08:08,320 --> 00:08:10,600 Speaker 2: and I kind of get caught up in it all. 176 00:08:11,040 --> 00:08:12,840 Speaker 2: And so I see that as well. And as much 177 00:08:12,880 --> 00:08:15,120 Speaker 2: as I love to say that I'm not into competition 178 00:08:15,240 --> 00:08:17,560 Speaker 2: at all, I do become competitive, which is kind of 179 00:08:17,560 --> 00:08:20,640 Speaker 2: why I don't like competition. And we have got a 180 00:08:20,640 --> 00:08:24,800 Speaker 2: couple of kids who are competitive. Last response, there is 181 00:08:24,960 --> 00:08:30,640 Speaker 2: a wonderful level of commitment to trying to be a 182 00:08:30,640 --> 00:08:33,480 Speaker 2: good person that I see in every one of our kids. 183 00:08:33,480 --> 00:08:36,480 Speaker 2: And I don't know if that's an inherent human quality, 184 00:08:36,800 --> 00:08:38,880 Speaker 2: but I know that it's something that I strive for 185 00:08:38,920 --> 00:08:41,000 Speaker 2: every day of my life. 186 00:08:41,400 --> 00:08:44,840 Speaker 3: Was there one single trait you wanted our children to have. 187 00:08:45,520 --> 00:08:49,920 Speaker 2: I'm going to say, too, the first trait that I 188 00:08:49,960 --> 00:08:53,480 Speaker 2: want them to have is faith. Again, that comes back 189 00:08:53,480 --> 00:08:55,720 Speaker 2: to our personal background, but you could generalize that to 190 00:08:55,760 --> 00:08:58,760 Speaker 2: say faith in goodness, faith that things will work out, 191 00:08:58,800 --> 00:09:03,480 Speaker 2: that hope, that hopefulness, I think in hoping good things 192 00:09:03,480 --> 00:09:07,520 Speaker 2: to come is probably the most important trait that we 193 00:09:07,559 --> 00:09:09,920 Speaker 2: can have in our children. So I know I said two, 194 00:09:09,920 --> 00:09:12,640 Speaker 2: but I'm going to make it one. Okay, And after 195 00:09:12,640 --> 00:09:16,319 Speaker 2: the break, because time is getting away already, give me 196 00:09:16,360 --> 00:09:17,360 Speaker 2: a taste of what I'm in for. 197 00:09:17,440 --> 00:09:19,760 Speaker 3: Right after the break, Well, we're going to take you 198 00:09:19,800 --> 00:09:21,960 Speaker 3: back to when you were twelve years of age. We 199 00:09:22,080 --> 00:09:28,840 Speaker 3: also are going to put your funniness on the line. 200 00:09:29,720 --> 00:09:34,319 Speaker 2: Between fifteen and twenty percent of teens have anxiety. Anxiety 201 00:09:34,360 --> 00:09:37,240 Speaker 2: is one of the leading causes of mental illness in 202 00:09:37,280 --> 00:09:40,120 Speaker 2: our children, and as parents, we want to know where 203 00:09:40,160 --> 00:09:42,560 Speaker 2: is it coming from? Can we stop it? And how 204 00:09:42,600 --> 00:09:46,160 Speaker 2: do we help our children just feel better? Start by 205 00:09:46,240 --> 00:09:49,360 Speaker 2: learning how to recognize anxiety in your child, how to 206 00:09:49,400 --> 00:09:52,800 Speaker 2: respond and how to give them hope and the anxiety 207 00:09:52,840 --> 00:09:55,880 Speaker 2: in your child. Webinar can help. It's available at happy 208 00:09:55,920 --> 00:09:57,240 Speaker 2: families dot com dot au. 209 00:09:57,960 --> 00:10:00,440 Speaker 3: It's the Happy Families podcast, the podcast for a time 210 00:10:00,440 --> 00:10:02,840 Speaker 3: poor parent who just wants answers now. And today we're 211 00:10:03,120 --> 00:10:05,520 Speaker 3: giving Justin a bit of a run for his money. 212 00:10:05,559 --> 00:10:07,920 Speaker 3: He is in the hot seat. We're doing a lightning round. 213 00:10:08,080 --> 00:10:09,360 Speaker 2: Okay, what's the next question? 214 00:10:09,960 --> 00:10:12,920 Speaker 3: Okay, So, if I was to ask a young Justin Coulson, 215 00:10:13,080 --> 00:10:15,680 Speaker 3: I'm thinking back to like twelve years of age, yeah, 216 00:10:15,720 --> 00:10:18,480 Speaker 3: to describe his dad? How would you have described dad? 217 00:10:19,640 --> 00:10:25,079 Speaker 2: Since I was about ten, I've had a memory deeply 218 00:10:25,160 --> 00:10:29,600 Speaker 2: etched into my brain of one moment in particular, two 219 00:10:29,640 --> 00:10:32,600 Speaker 2: moments in particular of my dad, and I have to 220 00:10:32,640 --> 00:10:36,040 Speaker 2: share the stories briefly to explain my answer. One of 221 00:10:36,080 --> 00:10:38,520 Speaker 2: those memories was when my dad used to have a 222 00:10:38,559 --> 00:10:41,199 Speaker 2: milk run delivered the milk daughter door, and I used 223 00:10:41,200 --> 00:10:43,680 Speaker 2: to go with him and we'd pulled the milk cartons 224 00:10:43,679 --> 00:10:45,000 Speaker 2: out of the back of the truck and run them 225 00:10:45,040 --> 00:10:47,080 Speaker 2: and put them on the doorstep. I remember one night 226 00:10:47,120 --> 00:10:48,559 Speaker 2: we were driving along a dirt road and there was 227 00:10:48,559 --> 00:10:50,599 Speaker 2: a bloke laying in the middle of the road, just 228 00:10:50,640 --> 00:10:52,720 Speaker 2: a big lump of a man laying in the middle 229 00:10:52,720 --> 00:10:54,280 Speaker 2: of the road. He'd been at the pub down the road. 230 00:10:54,440 --> 00:10:57,120 Speaker 2: He started to walk home and decided that the road 231 00:10:57,160 --> 00:10:58,640 Speaker 2: was the good place as they need to have a sleep, 232 00:10:59,040 --> 00:11:01,679 Speaker 2: and my dad helped him to get up. He put 233 00:11:01,760 --> 00:11:03,199 Speaker 2: him in the back of the truck. He drove him 234 00:11:03,200 --> 00:11:05,280 Speaker 2: home and pulled his wallet out and found where his 235 00:11:05,280 --> 00:11:07,360 Speaker 2: address was, and he drove him home and helped him. 236 00:11:07,360 --> 00:11:10,680 Speaker 2: And I just I remembered that goodness in my dad, 237 00:11:10,720 --> 00:11:13,640 Speaker 2: that willingness to go completely out of his way, potentially 238 00:11:13,640 --> 00:11:16,400 Speaker 2: even in danger himself, so that he could help this 239 00:11:16,480 --> 00:11:20,120 Speaker 2: man who was clearly not in a good way. A 240 00:11:20,120 --> 00:11:22,560 Speaker 2: couple of years later, when I was ten, my grandfather died. 241 00:11:22,920 --> 00:11:24,960 Speaker 2: I remember seeing my dad cry for the first time 242 00:11:25,080 --> 00:11:29,840 Speaker 2: as he spoke at that funeral, gave the eulogy, he 243 00:11:30,000 --> 00:11:32,040 Speaker 2: shared a poem that's actually not even that good. I 244 00:11:32,040 --> 00:11:34,280 Speaker 2: finally found it a few years ago, as a poem 245 00:11:34,280 --> 00:11:37,760 Speaker 2: that's called I follow a noble father. Hearing my dad 246 00:11:37,840 --> 00:11:42,760 Speaker 2: stand at that pulpit and read this poem about the 247 00:11:42,800 --> 00:11:46,640 Speaker 2: way he admired his noble father, it affected me so 248 00:11:46,760 --> 00:11:51,160 Speaker 2: deeply and it still does today. And so this nearly 249 00:11:51,200 --> 00:11:53,040 Speaker 2: fifty year old guy that you're sitting in front of 250 00:11:53,160 --> 00:11:57,480 Speaker 2: right now, reflecting on that twelve year old boy, I 251 00:11:57,559 --> 00:12:00,360 Speaker 2: know that I would have remembered that I followed the 252 00:12:00,440 --> 00:12:01,000 Speaker 2: noble father. 253 00:12:02,040 --> 00:12:07,040 Speaker 3: Fathers have an outsized influence on us. You've just so 254 00:12:07,200 --> 00:12:10,480 Speaker 3: beautifully demonstrated that in the stories that you've shared about 255 00:12:10,559 --> 00:12:15,480 Speaker 3: Dad and whether or not we like it, O kids 256 00:12:15,520 --> 00:12:18,719 Speaker 3: see all of it. Do you ever think about how 257 00:12:18,760 --> 00:12:21,520 Speaker 3: you're perceived by our kids and what they think of you, 258 00:12:21,600 --> 00:12:23,240 Speaker 3: and how that makes them feel? 259 00:12:23,760 --> 00:12:26,520 Speaker 2: Never endingly? And that's why I do what I do? 260 00:12:27,280 --> 00:12:30,079 Speaker 3: Out of ten? How funny do you think you are? Oh? 261 00:12:30,240 --> 00:12:32,920 Speaker 2: That is such an unfair question. You get me all weepy, 262 00:12:32,960 --> 00:12:35,200 Speaker 2: and then you ask me a question like that. I've 263 00:12:35,200 --> 00:12:38,680 Speaker 2: grown up in a home where my mom has told 264 00:12:38,720 --> 00:12:41,080 Speaker 2: me consistently from day one that I'm not as funny 265 00:12:41,080 --> 00:12:44,800 Speaker 2: as I think that I am, and she has begged 266 00:12:44,840 --> 00:12:46,880 Speaker 2: me from day one to not try to be funny 267 00:12:46,880 --> 00:12:48,600 Speaker 2: when I'm giving talks, and don't try to be funny 268 00:12:48,600 --> 00:12:51,160 Speaker 2: in your books, because justin you're just not funny. I 269 00:12:51,200 --> 00:12:53,040 Speaker 2: think that I'm way funny than my mom thinks that 270 00:12:53,080 --> 00:12:56,320 Speaker 2: I am. I'm not a comedian, but I think that 271 00:12:56,400 --> 00:12:59,600 Speaker 2: I'm clever, funny, and I have fun being funny, and 272 00:12:59,840 --> 00:13:01,280 Speaker 2: my I think at me while I'm saying this, well, 273 00:13:01,280 --> 00:13:04,000 Speaker 2: out of ten, come on, all right, I'm going to 274 00:13:04,040 --> 00:13:06,360 Speaker 2: say that I'm I'm an eight and a half. 275 00:13:06,600 --> 00:13:07,679 Speaker 3: You're an eight and a half. 276 00:13:07,800 --> 00:13:12,560 Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, nine and above would be comedian level. See 277 00:13:12,559 --> 00:13:14,680 Speaker 2: I made you laugh. I'm a funny guy. 278 00:13:16,240 --> 00:13:19,520 Speaker 3: Well, I may have just asked our kids what score 279 00:13:19,559 --> 00:13:20,800 Speaker 3: they would have given you out of ten. 280 00:13:21,000 --> 00:13:21,920 Speaker 2: Okay, let's listen. 281 00:13:22,360 --> 00:13:28,920 Speaker 3: What would you say, Emily about maybe five? What about you? 282 00:13:28,960 --> 00:13:32,160 Speaker 2: Lily seven point five? From being nice? 283 00:13:33,080 --> 00:13:37,840 Speaker 3: Annie seven hour? Well that just depends. Is it funny? 284 00:13:37,840 --> 00:13:39,160 Speaker 3: Hot or funny? Peculiar? 285 00:13:41,600 --> 00:13:44,160 Speaker 2: I'd tell him a three, but probably a seven on 286 00:13:44,200 --> 00:13:47,800 Speaker 2: his good days. Okay, So so I'm a point five 287 00:13:47,880 --> 00:13:52,359 Speaker 2: according to me. No one else thinks that. Yeah, I'm 288 00:13:52,400 --> 00:13:54,400 Speaker 2: a funny guy. I'm a funny guy. 289 00:13:55,760 --> 00:13:58,240 Speaker 3: Did you know I love Emily? 290 00:13:59,440 --> 00:14:03,760 Speaker 2: You don't care? All right? Next question, So have you 291 00:14:03,760 --> 00:14:06,800 Speaker 2: got a dad joke for me, No, not on the spot. 292 00:14:07,080 --> 00:14:09,960 Speaker 2: Come on, okay. My favorite joke I don't think it's 293 00:14:09,960 --> 00:14:11,440 Speaker 2: a dad joke. I just think it's a great joke 294 00:14:11,720 --> 00:14:13,520 Speaker 2: is the Alsatian that walked into the post office and 295 00:14:13,520 --> 00:14:16,120 Speaker 2: said of the postmaster that he wanted to send a telegram. 296 00:14:16,120 --> 00:14:18,040 Speaker 2: And the postmaster said, what would you like to send? 297 00:14:18,360 --> 00:14:22,120 Speaker 2: And the Alsatian said, wolf wolf Wolf Wolf Wolf Wolf 298 00:14:22,120 --> 00:14:25,960 Speaker 2: Wolf wolf Wolf, nine wolfs. The postmaster said, you know what, 299 00:14:26,000 --> 00:14:27,680 Speaker 2: for the same price, you can have an extra wolf. 300 00:14:28,360 --> 00:14:30,360 Speaker 2: And the Alsatian said, yeah, but then it wouldn't make 301 00:14:30,360 --> 00:14:30,840 Speaker 2: any sense. 302 00:14:32,600 --> 00:14:34,520 Speaker 3: I honestly, i don't know what to say about that. 303 00:14:37,160 --> 00:14:39,440 Speaker 3: I'm just wondering how it's possible for someone to be 304 00:14:39,520 --> 00:14:43,680 Speaker 3: so smart and capable as you are just told that 305 00:14:43,800 --> 00:14:47,960 Speaker 3: kind of Oh my goodness. All right right. 306 00:14:48,120 --> 00:14:49,960 Speaker 2: My other favorite joke, and it's the joke that our 307 00:14:50,040 --> 00:14:52,160 Speaker 2: daughters love more than any other joke that I tell 308 00:14:52,760 --> 00:14:54,120 Speaker 2: you know, I'm trying. I'm going to tell, don't you 309 00:14:54,360 --> 00:14:56,240 Speaker 2: the cowboy rode into town. 310 00:14:56,440 --> 00:14:57,600 Speaker 3: I can't believe you're going to do this. 311 00:14:57,720 --> 00:15:00,840 Speaker 2: Yep, got off the horse, but put the reins around 312 00:15:00,840 --> 00:15:03,520 Speaker 2: the things that the horse couldn't run away, and then 313 00:15:03,520 --> 00:15:05,080 Speaker 2: he ran around behind the horse and he lift up 314 00:15:05,080 --> 00:15:07,440 Speaker 2: the horse's tail and he kissed the horse right right 315 00:15:07,520 --> 00:15:10,040 Speaker 2: on the well, you know, you know, lift up the 316 00:15:10,040 --> 00:15:12,760 Speaker 2: tail and right right there, right underneath the tail, kissed 317 00:15:12,760 --> 00:15:14,800 Speaker 2: the horse right there, and then walked into the bar 318 00:15:14,920 --> 00:15:16,840 Speaker 2: in order to drink. One of the cowboys that were 319 00:15:16,840 --> 00:15:19,160 Speaker 2: sitting there had seen the whole thing, leaned over and said, 320 00:15:19,400 --> 00:15:21,400 Speaker 2: I don't mean to be rude, but I just did 321 00:15:21,440 --> 00:15:23,120 Speaker 2: I just see you do what I I think I 322 00:15:23,160 --> 00:15:26,840 Speaker 2: saw you? Just is that? Really? Did you do that? 323 00:15:27,240 --> 00:15:30,480 Speaker 2: The cowboy looked at me and said, well, yeah I did. 324 00:15:31,120 --> 00:15:33,680 Speaker 2: And the old cowboy said, why did you kiss your 325 00:15:33,680 --> 00:15:38,000 Speaker 2: horse on the backside like that? And the cowboy said, well, 326 00:15:38,040 --> 00:15:45,560 Speaker 2: I've got chapped lips. Stops me looking at me. That's 327 00:15:45,600 --> 00:15:50,640 Speaker 2: a great joke, so funny. Okay, all right, see what 328 00:15:50,680 --> 00:15:53,080 Speaker 2: you've done. I was having a really meaningful interview and 329 00:15:53,080 --> 00:15:53,760 Speaker 2: then you asked me to. 330 00:15:53,680 --> 00:15:59,240 Speaker 3: Show a because we need to get away from those jokes. 331 00:16:00,160 --> 00:16:00,240 Speaker 2: Me. 332 00:16:00,600 --> 00:16:03,640 Speaker 3: I do love you a lot, so I've only got 333 00:16:03,640 --> 00:16:05,240 Speaker 3: a couple left for you because this is a lightning 334 00:16:05,280 --> 00:16:07,360 Speaker 3: round and you've taken for rep bar to answer all 335 00:16:07,400 --> 00:16:08,960 Speaker 3: the questions, just putting it out there. 336 00:16:09,320 --> 00:16:11,800 Speaker 2: But it's not going to be forty five minutes like 337 00:16:11,840 --> 00:16:12,880 Speaker 2: someone else I interviewed. 338 00:16:13,440 --> 00:16:16,800 Speaker 3: Can you tell me briefly about some of the fathers 339 00:16:16,840 --> 00:16:23,360 Speaker 3: you admire, and specifically people that our audience might be 340 00:16:23,440 --> 00:16:23,920 Speaker 3: aware of. 341 00:16:24,840 --> 00:16:27,680 Speaker 2: I don't know any high profile fathers well enough that 342 00:16:27,760 --> 00:16:30,040 Speaker 2: the audience would be aware of them and to be 343 00:16:30,040 --> 00:16:32,640 Speaker 2: able to say, Hey, this is who I admire and why. 344 00:16:33,040 --> 00:16:34,720 Speaker 2: What I can do, though, is I can point to 345 00:16:34,760 --> 00:16:37,160 Speaker 2: specific attributes of some of the best fathers that I know, 346 00:16:37,600 --> 00:16:39,160 Speaker 2: and the ones that I admire the most are the 347 00:16:39,200 --> 00:16:44,000 Speaker 2: ones who are Number one, kind, kind, compassionate, loving, patient, 348 00:16:44,080 --> 00:16:47,960 Speaker 2: that constellation of attributes that gives their children the benefit 349 00:16:48,000 --> 00:16:50,040 Speaker 2: of the doubt, allows them the opportunity to make mistakes 350 00:16:50,080 --> 00:16:53,160 Speaker 2: and grow and be safe in talking to their dad 351 00:16:53,560 --> 00:16:57,560 Speaker 2: about the difficulties that they're having. That is just so powerful, 352 00:16:57,600 --> 00:17:01,120 Speaker 2: the kindness and the other one, the other attribute that 353 00:17:01,160 --> 00:17:03,720 Speaker 2: I admired the most. There's a handful of dads that 354 00:17:03,760 --> 00:17:07,200 Speaker 2: I know who they've given up work, or they've given 355 00:17:07,280 --> 00:17:09,680 Speaker 2: up careers, or they've given up any number They've made 356 00:17:09,840 --> 00:17:14,600 Speaker 2: significant sacrifices for their children so that they can have time. 357 00:17:15,320 --> 00:17:17,720 Speaker 2: And I know that not everyone has the opportunity to 358 00:17:17,760 --> 00:17:19,280 Speaker 2: do that, But in so doing, I mean, some of 359 00:17:19,320 --> 00:17:21,200 Speaker 2: them live in places that they would rather not live, 360 00:17:21,320 --> 00:17:25,240 Speaker 2: or they go without certain financial benefits that they would 361 00:17:25,240 --> 00:17:28,879 Speaker 2: really probably much prefer to have, but they've prioritized their 362 00:17:29,000 --> 00:17:33,480 Speaker 2: children and their family relationships higher than the financial side 363 00:17:33,480 --> 00:17:36,359 Speaker 2: of things. And I look at those parents and just think, 364 00:17:36,600 --> 00:17:37,920 Speaker 2: I admire you so very much. 365 00:17:38,320 --> 00:17:42,240 Speaker 3: Outside of your dad, Are there any other father figures 366 00:17:42,280 --> 00:17:44,920 Speaker 3: that you've had in your life that you admire? 367 00:17:45,560 --> 00:17:47,200 Speaker 2: When I left home, I went and did a couple 368 00:17:47,200 --> 00:17:51,040 Speaker 2: of years of volunteer work for a church, and there's 369 00:17:51,640 --> 00:17:53,760 Speaker 2: a man and his wife who are sort of in 370 00:17:53,880 --> 00:17:57,159 Speaker 2: charge of everyone who's doing that volunteer work in the 371 00:17:57,160 --> 00:18:01,199 Speaker 2: particular area that you go to. That particular man his 372 00:18:01,320 --> 00:18:06,119 Speaker 2: name was David Knight. What a profound, profound impact he 373 00:18:06,160 --> 00:18:09,240 Speaker 2: had on me in terms of his extraordinary love. He 374 00:18:09,280 --> 00:18:12,280 Speaker 2: was just so full of goodness. So he was probably 375 00:18:12,280 --> 00:18:14,760 Speaker 2: the first of those father figures. I've fell out of 376 00:18:14,800 --> 00:18:18,800 Speaker 2: touch with him some years after that volunteer work, but 377 00:18:18,840 --> 00:18:23,000 Speaker 2: my mentor, Wally Goddard, is another example of absolute goodness. 378 00:18:23,040 --> 00:18:25,280 Speaker 2: He is just so good. And I would probably say 379 00:18:25,280 --> 00:18:27,520 Speaker 2: that they're the two most obvious. Your dad I mean, 380 00:18:27,520 --> 00:18:30,680 Speaker 2: he's just such a good man, so patient, so forbearing, 381 00:18:30,840 --> 00:18:33,480 Speaker 2: so willing to help. I love him as well. 382 00:18:34,240 --> 00:18:38,320 Speaker 3: Your last question for today, on the eve of Father's Day, 383 00:18:38,800 --> 00:18:40,800 Speaker 3: is there anything that you'd like to say to our children? 384 00:18:42,480 --> 00:18:46,080 Speaker 2: Well, they hear it all the time, but I love 385 00:18:46,160 --> 00:18:51,080 Speaker 2: them no matter what they are. When I think about 386 00:18:51,080 --> 00:18:54,000 Speaker 2: you and the kids, I'm reminded of saying that I heard. 387 00:18:54,040 --> 00:18:57,160 Speaker 2: I can't remember where, I don't exactly remember who said 388 00:18:57,160 --> 00:18:59,399 Speaker 2: it or any of the details around it, but the 389 00:18:59,440 --> 00:19:03,320 Speaker 2: saying is just everything else is dust. Everything else is dust, 390 00:19:03,880 --> 00:19:06,080 Speaker 2: None of it matters, and that would be it. 391 00:19:06,720 --> 00:19:08,560 Speaker 3: Well, this has been a lot more emotional than I 392 00:19:08,600 --> 00:19:09,520 Speaker 3: expected it would be. 393 00:19:09,760 --> 00:19:11,919 Speaker 2: But I look at the questions you put together. How 394 00:19:11,960 --> 00:19:16,000 Speaker 2: did you expect that wouldn't be emotional? I'm my goodness, and. 395 00:19:15,920 --> 00:19:18,439 Speaker 3: I don't know how well you did on a lightning round. 396 00:19:18,920 --> 00:19:20,800 Speaker 3: You did take quite a while to answer some of 397 00:19:20,840 --> 00:19:23,159 Speaker 3: those questions. But I am really really grateful for the 398 00:19:23,200 --> 00:19:26,080 Speaker 3: conversation we've had today and for the things that you've shared, 399 00:19:27,000 --> 00:19:33,439 Speaker 3: because obviously, as your experience with fatherhood has unfolded, I 400 00:19:33,520 --> 00:19:36,520 Speaker 3: have literally had a bird's eye view and I've been 401 00:19:36,560 --> 00:19:40,800 Speaker 3: there right beside you. Watching you grow and just love 402 00:19:40,840 --> 00:19:44,400 Speaker 3: on our children, and so I'm really really grateful for 403 00:19:45,320 --> 00:19:48,240 Speaker 3: the way in which you have chosen to put our 404 00:19:48,240 --> 00:19:51,320 Speaker 3: family first and put our children first. And as your wife, 405 00:19:51,440 --> 00:19:55,720 Speaker 3: I'm just I feel so immensely privileged to be a 406 00:19:55,800 --> 00:20:01,400 Speaker 3: part of your life story and to see so much 407 00:20:01,480 --> 00:20:03,879 Speaker 3: of your goodness in each of our children and the 408 00:20:03,960 --> 00:20:08,639 Speaker 3: legacy that you leave behind in each of them. So 409 00:20:08,800 --> 00:20:09,600 Speaker 3: thank you. Well. 410 00:20:09,680 --> 00:20:13,760 Speaker 2: It's profoundly and fundamentally change me in every way, and 411 00:20:13,800 --> 00:20:15,680 Speaker 2: I'm glad we've got to have this chat. Thanks for 412 00:20:15,720 --> 00:20:20,320 Speaker 2: asking those fun questions. We really hope that you've enjoyed 413 00:20:20,320 --> 00:20:23,119 Speaker 2: this conversation and we hope that you don't mind as 414 00:20:23,160 --> 00:20:27,360 Speaker 2: sharing so intimately and personally. We thank you so much 415 00:20:27,359 --> 00:20:30,080 Speaker 2: for listening to the Happy Families podcast. Have a wonderful, 416 00:20:30,240 --> 00:20:33,720 Speaker 2: wonderful Father's Day for everyone who is able to celebrate it. 417 00:20:33,720 --> 00:20:36,040 Speaker 2: For those who are not able to, we really hope 418 00:20:36,080 --> 00:20:37,879 Speaker 2: that the day is a special day in other ways 419 00:20:37,920 --> 00:20:41,320 Speaker 2: for you and you can make it meaningful for your family. 420 00:20:41,880 --> 00:20:44,520 Speaker 2: As always, we appreciate Justin Roland and Craig Bruce. They're 421 00:20:44,560 --> 00:20:47,240 Speaker 2: the people who make the podcast sound great and turn 422 00:20:47,280 --> 00:20:49,280 Speaker 2: it into what it actually is. And if you want 423 00:20:49,280 --> 00:20:51,480 Speaker 2: more info about how to make your family happier, the 424 00:20:51,480 --> 00:20:54,000 Speaker 2: place to get it is happy families dot com dot 425 00:20:54,000 --> 00:20:54,280 Speaker 2: au