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Speaker 1: Welcome to Wine and Snacks, the podcast where I will

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Speaker 1: bring a bottle of nice wine and attempt to explain

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Speaker 1: the reasoning behind some of life's most interesting phenomena.

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Speaker 2: You're not meant to be talking it. I haven't played

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Speaker 2: the opener.

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Speaker 3: I don't know that was a rule.

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Speaker 2: Well, wasn't a rule.

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Speaker 3: Just sense why I made it so formal.

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Speaker 2: It's casual, man, because I haven't played the opening yet.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, but I can talk before the opener. No, you're

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Speaker 4: the king of this podcast.

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Speaker 2: I am the king of the podcast.

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Speaker 3: It's one of the other rules of the podcast that

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Speaker 3: you stole the wine from work and didn't bring in

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Speaker 3: your own bottle.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I'd appreciate it if you guys just let me

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Speaker 1: do the intro and then you can talk.

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Speaker 4: That's Joel, by the way, everybody pushes the buttons.

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Speaker 2: I was about to introduce Joel. I haven't a chance

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Speaker 2: to play it, don't early bird.

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Speaker 3: Early Bird gets the worms.

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Speaker 2: Tasty Burger in the US, and they very rich people

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Speaker 2: like to drink of wine.

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Speaker 3: What do you guys?

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Speaker 2: Right?

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Speaker 3: Sour Crean and Onion ships with some did beat Jerky's

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Speaker 3: and King of Photos HARKing does a street corn that's it.

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Speaker 3: I like to drink mine more to wine and snacks.

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Speaker 2: I bring a bottle of wine. What do you bring

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Speaker 2: the snacks?

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Speaker 1: And you're eating the snacks ready pretty much eating other snack,

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Speaker 1: which is a bottle of popcorn.

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Speaker 2: Today I brought a lovely bottle of Jim Barry Barry

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Speaker 2: and Sons GSM.

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Speaker 3: We need to be honest, Yeah, we added it.

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Speaker 4: We actually had a pretty important business phone call this morning,

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Speaker 4: and that was our allocated time to do our preparation

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Speaker 4: for the podcast this evening. Why what's going to be

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Speaker 4: honest with our audience? It turns out that phone call

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Speaker 4: went way too long, so we were both pushed for time.

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Speaker 4: We were forty five minutes late to work. Not good anyway.

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Speaker 4: So your wine is stolen from work, so it's.

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Speaker 2: Stolen provided by Now.

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Speaker 1: There were eleven former wine and snack podcasts on this thread.

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Speaker 2: But give it Me too, and all these other things

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Speaker 2: have since been deleted. Not that we ever there was

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Speaker 2: anything bad in there. It's just like, you know, there

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Speaker 2: might have been.

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Speaker 3: We think we just think it was a good and you.

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Speaker 2: Know, sometimes when you have too much mind, you say

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Speaker 2: things you regret.

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Speaker 4: We spent forty five minutes on one podcast podcast.

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Speaker 2: Half how is the one?

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Speaker 3: It has hit me very quickly.

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Speaker 4: No, but we spoke for forty five minutes about having

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Speaker 4: sex with Jared Butler, So we thought that sort of

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Speaker 4: conversation that wouldn't get you canceled. Though, I don't know, man,

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Speaker 4: we went pretty forty five minutes. Jo wasn't tweeting Jared

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Speaker 4: Butler until you saw of detail. We both saw him

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Speaker 4: as our homo erotic satan character in a movie in

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Speaker 4: the Garden the mid Yeah, forty five minutes. Wow, I

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Speaker 4: like Laura Biden citizen Jared. But three hundreds, we're not

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Speaker 4: doing it.

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Speaker 2: We're not doing it.

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Speaker 1: Today's topic is anxiety. I think anxiety is fascinating because

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Speaker 1: I actually don't get anxiety. I'm not very I'm not

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Speaker 1: very much an anxious person.

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Speaker 3: I do.

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Speaker 4: Welcome to my wheelhouse. I'll be surprised if you because

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Speaker 4: you do the research, and well done to you. But

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Speaker 4: I'll be surprised if you bring up something here that

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Speaker 4: I either don't experience myself or no. Okay, challenge, there's

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Speaker 4: your challenge. I get very anxious. I'm a very anxious person.

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Speaker 4: I get very nervous in certain situations.

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Speaker 3: Overthink things. It's it's and it's it's really hard. I'm

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Speaker 3: with you mostly it's when I hungover, or about anxiety

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Speaker 3: and anxiety you're pretty bad.

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Speaker 2: But also we're not going to be talking about anxiety here.

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Speaker 3: There's a wing, there's a wing, there's a type of anxiety.

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Speaker 3: But no, Actually, some of the anxiety anxiety I get

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Speaker 3: is I think a lot of the times in my life,

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Speaker 3: I don't have a filter. So I'm very anxious to

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Speaker 3: actually talk about anxiety.

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Speaker 1: But I recognized that I brought up anxiety Joel, and

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Speaker 1: you've gone straight into hangovers, which is a zero field.

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Speaker 4: So you get answered me on a podcast, So you

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Speaker 4: get anxious, you get anxious about saying you've said.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, a little kick in like that. But yeah,

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Speaker 3: we'll talk about this as it goes long.

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Speaker 1: But I'm looking forward to hearing about your your your

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Speaker 1: individual experiences with anxiety.

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Speaker 4: Because I'm more a pre event anxiety guy.

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Speaker 2: So yeah, we're going to get there. We're going to

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Speaker 2: get there. We're actually talking.

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Speaker 3: Post I mean, what a pairing. No, it's Will's bringing

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Speaker 3: nothing to the table, your non anxious prick and the

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Speaker 3: wine that he stole from.

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Speaker 1: Get him out of here don't get anxiety, and I

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Speaker 1: want to we'll talk a little bit more about that.

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Speaker 1: Because anxiety is a response to fear. Yeah, that's where

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Speaker 1: that's where it comes from. So the internet defines it

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Speaker 1: as your body's natural response to stress. It's a feeling

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Speaker 1: of fear or apprehension about what's to come. Have you

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Speaker 1: guys got examples like what's the most anxious you've ever

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Speaker 1: been in your life?

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Speaker 4: Oh Jesus, it happens a lot for me, Like every

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Speaker 4: time we come back from holiday and go back on radio,

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Speaker 4: I'm very, very anxious. I generally don't sleep the night before. Yeah,

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Speaker 4: and then what I do is I can't stop running

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Speaker 4: the day through my head.

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Speaker 1: I think it's really frustrating like that for a lot

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Speaker 1: of people, or just anxiety and generally is. But he's

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Speaker 1: body frustrating because it's a real and this is something

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Speaker 1: that always has come up previously on this podcasts. It's

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Speaker 1: an evolutionary hang.

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Speaker 2: Up, like the response.

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Speaker 1: The reason it works is you get afraid of something

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Speaker 1: and then your body has a physiological response to the fear,

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Speaker 1: which traditionally would prepare you to escape or to fight.

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Speaker 1: So all the blood runs to your legs or your

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Speaker 1: arms or like the pistons, they're going to be able

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Speaker 1: to get you out of there and fight them. And

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Speaker 1: it leaves your gut. And that's why you feel butterflies

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Speaker 1: in your stomach, because all the blood vanishes from you,

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Speaker 1: from from the from your core organs like no, no, no,

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Speaker 1: I need them, I need the I need the blood

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Speaker 1: outside so I can run back and fight. And that's

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Speaker 1: fine if you're a neanderthal and you just had sex

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Speaker 1: with Terrence's wife Lisa.

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Speaker 2: Of course, because Terrence is going to come and kill you.

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Speaker 4: Copper Terry, well, not copp of Terry, no cup of Terry.

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Speaker 2: Yeah well no, no cop of Terry.

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Speaker 3: Okay, I had your wife, Terry. Terry did deserve this, exactly.

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Speaker 3: It's like a nine to five job. He plays golf

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Speaker 3: on the weekends, he's good to his kids, and all

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Speaker 3: of a sudden, what he had sex with his wife.

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Speaker 3: I didn't know this bad Terry. I didn't get to

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Speaker 3: know Terry. I didn't realize it.

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Speaker 2: Met Lisa and just let the cut of Absolutely, you're

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Speaker 2: in the field.

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Speaker 3: She was in the field obviously.

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Speaker 4: And by the way Terry is playing golf, he's not

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Speaker 4: giving enough quality time to his wife, and that's why

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Speaker 4: me and Lisa got to know each other.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, I met each other COPTERR. Yeah, thank you,

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Speaker 3: good have you on board.

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Speaker 1: So so traditionally it was really really helpful, but now

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Speaker 1: it's just awful. Like I think the worst part about

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Speaker 1: being anxious is just being awake when you can't sleep.

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Speaker 3: Oh Christ, you've just summed up my entire anxiety.

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Speaker 2: It is so bad when you've got something on the

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Speaker 2: next day.

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Speaker 1: Like, if we're actually evolved at the right pace, if

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Speaker 1: you had something serious on the next day, it would

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Speaker 1: be you'd think that your evolutionary action should be, well,

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Speaker 1: I need a very good night's sleep. That's what you want.

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Speaker 1: That's what you want, your body tutor, you go, I

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Speaker 1: need to sleep because I need to be ready for tomorrow.

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Speaker 1: But it works in reverse.

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Speaker 2: It is the old for me. That is the ultimate

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Speaker 2: evolutionary hang up.

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Speaker 1: We've got this thing. We need to be constantly awake

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Speaker 1: so that if we get attacked by the thing that

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Speaker 1: we're afraid of, we're going to be ready for it.

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Speaker 1: But now, practically speaking, we're not going to get attacked

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Speaker 1: by anyone. And you can't sleep, and then you have

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Speaker 1: a worse day the next day, and then you're worse

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Speaker 1: for it, and your anxiety gets worse because you haven't slept.

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Speaker 4: It hasn't helped the event you were worried about at all,

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Speaker 4: not at all, worse, a whole lot worse.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, it's a shocking.

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Speaker 4: There's positivity to it as well in my mind, and

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Speaker 4: I think that if you can and I have done

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Speaker 4: this previously, if you can harness that anxious energy in

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Speaker 4: the right way, you guys know the movie Limitless, So

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Speaker 4: I truly think that like an anxious mind is like

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Speaker 4: a very hyperactive mind, and when you.

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Speaker 3: Harness it correctly in the right channel.

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Speaker 4: Then you can be in a space which is like whoa,

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Speaker 4: It's like I'm seeing the future. I know that sounds outrageous.

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Speaker 3: Less anxious you are, you feel like you're shunneling that energy.

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Speaker 4: It's almost like you're no, it's almost like you're you.

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Speaker 4: I don't know if your research has shown this, Bill,

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Speaker 4: but it's almost like you're using your anxious energy, which,

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Speaker 4: in my opinion, anxiety for me is you go over

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Speaker 4: every single thing that could go wrong about a particular

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Speaker 4: event that's about to happen.

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Speaker 1: Do you feel like you have a superpower if you've

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Speaker 1: got if you so, do you actually touching on a.

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Speaker 2: Point We're going to get to you later in the podcast.

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Speaker 3: I can, yes, see, I told you i'd know your research.

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Speaker 2: Now you don't know my research.

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Speaker 3: I know it is doctor Bradley Cooper.

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Speaker 2: You don't know my research at all. But do you

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Speaker 2: know that? Do you know the law? Do you know

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Speaker 2: the rule? The rule?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, it's called the Eureki's Dodson law. The law dictates

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Speaker 1: that your performance increases with mental arousal, but only up

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Speaker 1: to a point. So the anxiety is amazing up to

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Speaker 1: a point where like I'm alert, I'm reading, my blood's pumping.

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Speaker 1: The anxiety has got me wired for this thing, and

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Speaker 1: that's great. Like it's like the butterflies.

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Speaker 2: If we get before an exam.

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Speaker 1: You're riding faster, you're reading quicker, you know, your signaps

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Speaker 1: as are firing off your miles a minute.

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Speaker 2: But then there's a tipping point.

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Speaker 1: And there's a moment where your anxiety goes from being

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Speaker 1: really helpful to totally reckon you.

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Speaker 4: That's why in teams sport, and this is no particular sport,

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Speaker 4: but with teams, there are a lot of teams now

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Speaker 4: about an hour before a game, a half an hour

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Speaker 4: before a game, will let guys and girls go off

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Speaker 4: individually because each individual needs to do different things before

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Speaker 4: a game to get to their optimal arousal. So some

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Speaker 4: people don't fight up because they sit lower, and like,

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Speaker 4: you need to pump up.

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Speaker 2: Because you haven't. You're not aroused.

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Speaker 4: You you're very you're very relaxed. You're you're not aroused

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Speaker 4: enough aroused. No, no, no, no, but but wait because

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Speaker 4: and then other people are like, you're so nervous, and

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Speaker 4: so you need to do calm, you need to meditate

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Speaker 4: before the game because you're so the other horses for courses,

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Speaker 4: horses for courses, and I get this, this is a

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Speaker 4: true story. But there used to be some elite athletes

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Speaker 4: I won't tell what to say what sport it was,

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Speaker 4: but they would go to the bathrooms I'm not joking

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Speaker 4: before games and they would begin to sexually stimulate themselves, kidding,

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Speaker 4: but not go to the point of finishing, and that

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Speaker 4: for them would get them to an optimal arousal.

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Speaker 1: Where did you hear that?

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Speaker 4: A little few whispers? It was actually in my unicorse.

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Speaker 4: There was someone who was part of it was like

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Speaker 4: a fitness coach of a team, and he said some

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Speaker 4: player sport I fl if players would go to cubicles

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Speaker 4: and go to.

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Speaker 1: Like and they'd go and then and they'd like go

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Speaker 1: through the team what like like you know, because you

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Speaker 1: know they said, oh, you need to go and meditate,

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Speaker 1: all right, Johnson, meditate Smith, have a fog, you know

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Speaker 1: what to do.

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Speaker 3: Here's a playboy getting there in five. Because it sounding

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Speaker 3: an awful lot like Woodies Uni football team, I.

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Speaker 4: Could never see it working because I mean I've never

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Speaker 4: tried it an AFILM football team.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 4: I again, it wasn't it wasn't so mainstream that half

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Speaker 4: the team was going in there and having having to go.

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Speaker 4: But there were some players that would doing and it

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Speaker 4: would really it would really help them because that okay,

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Speaker 4: you boys know what it's like when you're testosterone and

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Speaker 4: he's pumping, is pumping when you are.

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Speaker 3: Around when you're a journaline's pumping. That's that world arouse,

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Speaker 3: Yeah it is. Yeah, So that would switch people on.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, obviously, so they needed to figure out different ways

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Speaker 1: to do it. What I find really interesting about it

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Speaker 1: is anxiety is the ultimate indicator of how much you

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Speaker 1: fear something. Yes, It's how how the level of anxiety

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Speaker 1: that you have about something is directly proportionate to how

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Speaker 1: scared you are of it.

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Speaker 4: That's why it's always good to do the things that

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Speaker 4: you're scared of it, in my opinion, because you fear

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Speaker 4: this thing because you've run the worst case scenario in

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Speaker 4: your head.

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Speaker 3: Then when you go and do it and you're like, wow,

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Speaker 3: that was nowhere near as bad.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: And example of that actually when you when you say that,

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Speaker 3: what it immediately takes me and I know you'll love that.

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Speaker 3: I'm bringing this up. I've got to do a live

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Speaker 3: TV cross on the project, which they call Project Whip.

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Speaker 3: I was in the middle of like Perth, CBD and

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Speaker 3: they were doing some cross for Easter. There was some

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Speaker 3: kind of bunny suiting kids with goats and rabbits. There

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Speaker 3: was nowhere to go. Yeah, it's the most nervous.

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Speaker 5: People in those crosses rather way. Yeah, Channel ten Whip.

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Speaker 5: But it'd be like right, mate, like we've sent you

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Speaker 5: down to sex boat. Yeah, and it's just like just

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Speaker 5: get some color in there.

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Speaker 3: You've got all you got is a camera around and

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Speaker 3: the sound guy twenty seconds make it work.

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Speaker 4: And and Joel's got to produce you in you tell

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Speaker 4: you one thing. You've got the person who's in charge

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Speaker 4: of the event saying, make sure you get this detail

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Speaker 4: in this detail, and you're like, mate, I've got fifteen seconds. Yeah,

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Speaker 4: I can't get that information in. And then often you

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Speaker 4: have some moron who does wants their five minutes of fame. Yeah,

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Speaker 4: who's causing issues making loud noises in the background. You've

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Speaker 4: got an ear piece in which sounds like it was

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Speaker 4: made in the nineteen twenty so all you're hearing is like,

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Speaker 4: carry bigmore, going.

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Speaker 3: To cross the drill and oh exactly, the sounds so

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Speaker 3: and it's delayed so because you did it in Perth.

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Speaker 4: Yeah yeah, and they the panel laugh, but don't you

294
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Speaker 4: can You can't stop because they're probably laughing and something

295
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Speaker 4: you did a second ago, right.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, So you just got to get it out there,

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Speaker 3: mow through it, and then wave after thirty seconds when

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Speaker 3: they wrap you up and go bye from Perth. And

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Speaker 3: I'm doing this and I'm just literally the most anxious

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Speaker 3: I've ever been in my life. But once I did

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Speaker 3: it and it went well, I drove home and I

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Speaker 3: remember punching the roof of my car as hard as

303
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Speaker 3: I could because I was so pumped about it, the

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Speaker 3: adrenaline that went through me from being the lows of

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Speaker 3: the anxiety. Yeah, like for an hour and a half

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Speaker 3: while they're setting this cross up to like thirty seconds

307
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Speaker 3: it's done. I'm in the car bang. Yeah, yeah, yeah,

308
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Speaker 3: I did it, And yeah, it's just but the lows

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Speaker 3: of that anxiety is probably the worst, the best and

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Speaker 3: worst I've felt probably in one day. Really media stuff.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, it's amazing.

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Speaker 1: How with anxiety though, like the the level because we're

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Speaker 1: talking about that performance curve before the Woods.

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Speaker 3: You remember the name the doctor Ka.

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Speaker 2: Sorry, that's a client for our radio Yerik's Donson Law.

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Speaker 2: The yerick is Johnson Law.

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Speaker 3: Do they still do the whip on the project recently?

318
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Speaker 3: I saw it on TV. They brought it back and

319
00:14:14,440 --> 00:14:17,520
Speaker 3: they haven't called me. If I had that audio here,

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Speaker 3: you'd understand why I.

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Speaker 4: Had a cross ones where I said today this weekend

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Speaker 4: in Perth, it's all about pussy and then paused and

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Speaker 4: then brought a pussy cat up to the to the

324
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Speaker 4: camera that that's right, pussy cats.

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Speaker 3: Oh my god, move on.

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Speaker 6: I think you actually because because you remember we were

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Speaker 6: in Berth rom radio very early on yeah, and.

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Speaker 1: I remember you you getting you're getting there, the cross

329
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Speaker 1: on the whip, Like, who was on your panel there,

330
00:14:51,840 --> 00:14:53,240
Speaker 1: Pickering big more.

331
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Speaker 3: Lay there, Tommy little ones, Tommy little throw back to me.

332
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Speaker 4: Once I was on a beach, got a slow beach

333
00:15:03,480 --> 00:15:06,520
Speaker 4: and it was heavyana thongs were breaking the record for

334
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Speaker 4: the amount of inflatable thongs in the water.

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Speaker 2: What was your gag? Oh, yeah, let's get someone down there.

336
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Speaker 3: It's sometimes is really great.

337
00:15:17,200 --> 00:15:19,080
Speaker 2: So you on the phone from General ten right right,

338
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Speaker 2: this is my big cross and.

339
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Speaker 4: You got to send your script, you know, you put

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00:15:22,360 --> 00:15:25,240
Speaker 4: together as a scripts mate, and you're like, I'll do

341
00:15:25,280 --> 00:15:26,760
Speaker 4: a few dot points. He's like, nah, can you put

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00:15:26,760 --> 00:15:28,600
Speaker 4: together a scip because I get worried you'll go a

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Speaker 4: bit rogue.

344
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Speaker 3: Yeah.

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Speaker 4: But a lot of the time you'd write your script

346
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Speaker 4: and then be like, but you know on the day,

347
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Speaker 4: you know, So I didn't plan that. I was pretty professional,

348
00:15:35,360 --> 00:15:39,240
Speaker 4: but okay, fair enough. So my gag was at these

349
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Speaker 4: two found these two blocks on the beach and I

350
00:15:40,720 --> 00:15:42,240
Speaker 4: was like, boys want to be live on the projects

351
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Speaker 4: to night and they were like absolutely, And I was like,

352
00:15:44,440 --> 00:15:46,640
Speaker 4: I come with me, and they brote had spiedos on

353
00:15:46,720 --> 00:15:48,040
Speaker 4: and I was like, right, boys, this is what I

354
00:15:48,120 --> 00:15:50,160
Speaker 4: need you to do. Howk your speedos up into a

355
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Speaker 4: G banger and then at the opportune moment spin around

356
00:15:54,120 --> 00:15:55,840
Speaker 4: and they were like, yep, got it mate, So they

357
00:15:55,920 --> 00:15:58,440
Speaker 4: hooked up their speedos into a G banger and it

358
00:15:58,520 --> 00:15:59,920
Speaker 4: was a similar gag to the pussy thing.

359
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Speaker 3: Was obviously a real coach to me. I was like,

360
00:16:02,520 --> 00:16:05,320
Speaker 3: we get in Perth, it's all about a couple of thongs.

361
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Speaker 4: Boys.

362
00:16:06,560 --> 00:16:12,920
Speaker 7: These boys around the stados up theirs and I spanked

363
00:16:12,960 --> 00:16:13,640
Speaker 7: the bloke on the.

364
00:16:15,480 --> 00:16:17,040
Speaker 3: Spanked him on the ride, and then I was like.

365
00:16:17,280 --> 00:16:20,880
Speaker 4: Just kidding, obviously, I'm talking about thongs these guys have

366
00:16:21,640 --> 00:16:22,120
Speaker 4: is gonna.

367
00:16:21,920 --> 00:16:23,760
Speaker 3: Be inflatable down here. We're breaking the record.

368
00:16:24,440 --> 00:16:26,080
Speaker 4: It's gonna be huge. And I was like, I have

369
00:16:26,240 --> 00:16:29,560
Speaker 4: fucking that champagne. I flicked my ear piece almost like

370
00:16:29,640 --> 00:16:32,560
Speaker 4: out of my ear not realizing that Tommy Little who

371
00:16:32,640 --> 00:16:36,000
Speaker 4: was on the panel, he come. He asked me a question, yeah,

372
00:16:37,000 --> 00:16:41,440
Speaker 4: but I didn't hear it, like half.

373
00:16:41,280 --> 00:16:43,120
Speaker 3: Away from the screen. The camera guy's gone.

374
00:16:46,640 --> 00:16:47,400
Speaker 4: And I'm going.

375
00:16:48,760 --> 00:16:50,600
Speaker 3: Go again, guys, and then it just cut off me.

376
00:16:51,160 --> 00:16:57,240
Speaker 3: Just move. I asked about the event, bring back answer

377
00:16:57,240 --> 00:16:59,720
Speaker 3: your original question? Will I don't think Woods was very

378
00:16:59,720 --> 00:17:03,600
Speaker 3: ancient at all. During his crosses sounded very comfortable, incredibly so.

379
00:17:04,040 --> 00:17:07,800
Speaker 4: But that's that's funny. That's the triggy thing about anxiety sometimes,

380
00:17:07,840 --> 00:17:10,600
Speaker 4: isn't it. Barry Humphries talks about and I'm definitely not

381
00:17:10,760 --> 00:17:14,320
Speaker 4: referring like comparingmives and meant to Dame Edna Barry Humphreys,

382
00:17:14,359 --> 00:17:18,720
Speaker 4: but he always talked about didn't like in his last performance,

383
00:17:18,800 --> 00:17:21,280
Speaker 4: it's like I cannot go on. I cannot go on

384
00:17:21,480 --> 00:17:25,160
Speaker 4: because you're so anxious, so like hidding, like vomity anxious.

385
00:17:25,160 --> 00:17:26,760
Speaker 4: And then as soon as he walked out and said

386
00:17:26,880 --> 00:17:29,080
Speaker 4: got the first lart or like the first line out

387
00:17:29,560 --> 00:17:31,880
Speaker 4: and it was just like it was almost like goes

388
00:17:31,880 --> 00:17:33,360
Speaker 4: from one hundred to zero.

389
00:17:33,200 --> 00:17:35,560
Speaker 3: Anxieties like no. I think a lot of anxiety that

390
00:17:35,640 --> 00:17:38,960
Speaker 3: creeps into my life is when I'm at my most busy,

391
00:17:39,840 --> 00:17:42,680
Speaker 3: and I will wake up at four in the morning.

392
00:17:42,720 --> 00:17:45,320
Speaker 3: It's always at the same time, and that could be

393
00:17:45,400 --> 00:17:47,200
Speaker 3: my body clock just sometimes going like you know, I

394
00:17:47,320 --> 00:17:48,960
Speaker 3: need to go to the bathroom really quick, A drink

395
00:17:49,000 --> 00:17:49,280
Speaker 3: of water.

396
00:17:49,440 --> 00:17:51,120
Speaker 2: Yes, mate, I've been having it recently as well.

397
00:17:51,160 --> 00:17:54,639
Speaker 3: And if that's the case, I'm not getting sleep for

398
00:17:54,680 --> 00:17:56,520
Speaker 3: an hour and a half. Time, it's always around an

399
00:17:56,560 --> 00:17:59,320
Speaker 3: hour and a half. Yes, I might get an extra

400
00:17:59,400 --> 00:18:02,000
Speaker 3: hour sleep if I eventually fight it. But the fighting

401
00:18:02,760 --> 00:18:04,720
Speaker 3: and the race that is going on in my brain

402
00:18:06,200 --> 00:18:08,720
Speaker 3: is really bad and obviously COVID.

403
00:18:09,080 --> 00:18:11,720
Speaker 2: And you're lying in bed and you just and that's

404
00:18:11,720 --> 00:18:12,280
Speaker 2: what I was saying before.

405
00:18:12,320 --> 00:18:14,680
Speaker 1: It is this evolutionary hangar where it's like, well, you've

406
00:18:14,680 --> 00:18:15,800
Speaker 1: got all these things that you're worried about.

407
00:18:15,840 --> 00:18:16,240
Speaker 2: We're ready.

408
00:18:16,440 --> 00:18:17,760
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's amazing.

409
00:18:17,880 --> 00:18:19,920
Speaker 2: Really, your body is like, hey, I am ready for this.

410
00:18:20,320 --> 00:18:22,960
Speaker 1: Here are all the scenarios. Yeah, and you've got no

411
00:18:23,080 --> 00:18:25,959
Speaker 1: control over this. Here are all the scenarios. I've got

412
00:18:26,000 --> 00:18:27,960
Speaker 1: all the blood in the right area in case a

413
00:18:28,000 --> 00:18:30,480
Speaker 1: fight or flight, you're good to go. Well, all you

414
00:18:30,560 --> 00:18:32,320
Speaker 1: want to do is just sit your body down and say,

415
00:18:32,359 --> 00:18:33,320
Speaker 1: listen to you, motherfucker.

416
00:18:34,880 --> 00:18:37,800
Speaker 2: I'm so off the thoughts. Turn off the blood.

417
00:18:37,960 --> 00:18:38,480
Speaker 3: It's okay.

418
00:18:38,960 --> 00:18:41,800
Speaker 4: It's funny telling them to turn it off. Heightened heats

419
00:18:41,840 --> 00:18:42,080
Speaker 4: it up.

420
00:18:42,560 --> 00:18:46,800
Speaker 3: It's honestly like watching an NBA coach on the sidelines

421
00:18:48,200 --> 00:18:50,640
Speaker 3: saying all right, everyone bringing in bringing in here, alright, okay,

422
00:18:50,720 --> 00:18:54,199
Speaker 3: everyone right, right, okay, okay, shit speech you made at

423
00:18:54,200 --> 00:18:56,919
Speaker 3: your friend's wedding. You're in next, all right, You're going

424
00:18:56,960 --> 00:19:00,240
Speaker 3: to pass the ball to weight gain, weight gain, Yeah, yeah,

425
00:19:00,240 --> 00:19:02,680
Speaker 3: you you've been getting real sloppy lately. You're going to

426
00:19:02,720 --> 00:19:05,159
Speaker 3: flick the ball off to yelling at your kids too much,

427
00:19:05,240 --> 00:19:08,320
Speaker 3: you've been really angry. Simmer down a little bit, flick

428
00:19:08,400 --> 00:19:11,159
Speaker 3: the ball off their court, staring at that woman's boobs

429
00:19:11,200 --> 00:19:13,920
Speaker 3: at work. You do get go doing that a lot

430
00:19:14,960 --> 00:19:19,479
Speaker 3: on a defensive screen and flick it over buzzer sounds.

431
00:19:19,800 --> 00:19:25,280
Speaker 3: Make the shot, take the shot. The imagery. It just

432
00:19:25,400 --> 00:19:29,560
Speaker 3: came during an honest felt like and I was like

433
00:19:29,720 --> 00:19:32,280
Speaker 3: Jesus Christ, like, why the fuck does this happen so often?

434
00:19:32,320 --> 00:19:32,600
Speaker 7: You're in this?

435
00:19:32,640 --> 00:19:33,719
Speaker 2: And I think I think you're right.

436
00:19:33,760 --> 00:19:38,639
Speaker 1: That frustrating thing is that the analogy I've heard is

437
00:19:38,680 --> 00:19:41,440
Speaker 1: that like you're you're playing a video game and you

438
00:19:41,600 --> 00:19:46,040
Speaker 1: keep losing to the boss on the same level at

439
00:19:46,080 --> 00:19:47,919
Speaker 1: every time you can't figure how to beat them.

440
00:19:48,280 --> 00:19:49,959
Speaker 2: You're there, like it doesn't matter how many times you've

441
00:19:50,000 --> 00:19:50,560
Speaker 2: dealt with the problem.

442
00:19:51,000 --> 00:19:54,560
Speaker 1: You be the anxiety where you're sleeping will bring up

443
00:19:55,480 --> 00:19:57,639
Speaker 1: the things in your subconscious and it just plays the

444
00:19:57,680 --> 00:19:59,840
Speaker 1: greatest hits. I want to talk to you a little

445
00:19:59,880 --> 00:20:04,000
Speaker 1: bit more woods about the social anxiety, because that's the

446
00:20:04,040 --> 00:20:04,560
Speaker 1: other anxiety.

447
00:20:04,560 --> 00:20:05,440
Speaker 2: Where is that stem from?

448
00:20:06,640 --> 00:20:10,000
Speaker 4: That's a good question. I've always had this. I think

449
00:20:10,000 --> 00:20:11,280
Speaker 4: I've probably had this for a long time. I want

450
00:20:11,320 --> 00:20:14,320
Speaker 4: big people please, a big yes man, which I'm sure

451
00:20:14,400 --> 00:20:18,600
Speaker 4: you'd both know. But with that comes, I mean, the

452
00:20:18,680 --> 00:20:21,800
Speaker 4: reason you you're such a people pleaser, it's such a

453
00:20:21,880 --> 00:20:24,040
Speaker 4: yes man, is because you've got this weird, irrational thing

454
00:20:24,080 --> 00:20:25,920
Speaker 4: that nobody likes you. And I don't mean to say

455
00:20:25,920 --> 00:20:27,680
Speaker 4: it make that sound like dark or anything, but you've

456
00:20:27,680 --> 00:20:31,600
Speaker 4: got this thing that yeah, you're you're a bird or

457
00:20:31,800 --> 00:20:34,639
Speaker 4: you're not a burden, but you're like, no one really

458
00:20:34,840 --> 00:20:36,960
Speaker 4: enjoys your company that much, so you feel like you

459
00:20:37,040 --> 00:20:43,080
Speaker 4: need to be always making the experience enjoyable for them.

460
00:20:43,119 --> 00:20:44,840
Speaker 4: So you almost feel like you're performing. And that can

461
00:20:44,920 --> 00:20:46,840
Speaker 4: be very, very tiring, and when you've got that with

462
00:20:46,960 --> 00:20:52,080
Speaker 4: your close friends, that's really difficult. So naturally, what the

463
00:20:52,200 --> 00:20:55,399
Speaker 4: only way you can relax is if you take yourself

464
00:20:55,560 --> 00:20:59,359
Speaker 4: out of that social situation. And then but the funny

465
00:20:59,359 --> 00:21:01,160
Speaker 4: thing about that is is when you take yourself out

466
00:21:01,200 --> 00:21:02,639
Speaker 4: of the social situation, you go like, you know what,

467
00:21:02,760 --> 00:21:06,400
Speaker 4: I can't handle seeing people today because I'm I'm mentally fatigued.

468
00:21:07,280 --> 00:21:09,560
Speaker 4: Then you don't go, do they say the social setting?

469
00:21:09,600 --> 00:21:11,400
Speaker 4: And then you're at home and you're like, I feel

470
00:21:11,520 --> 00:21:14,080
Speaker 4: awful about the fact that I haven't gone.

471
00:21:14,720 --> 00:21:16,680
Speaker 2: Oh so you're damned if you do, damned if you don't.

472
00:21:17,000 --> 00:21:17,200
Speaker 3: Yeah.

473
00:21:17,320 --> 00:21:19,639
Speaker 4: So you're like, you know, you're overcommitting yourself if you go,

474
00:21:19,720 --> 00:21:21,840
Speaker 4: because you're like, I've stretched myself too much. But then

475
00:21:21,880 --> 00:21:23,320
Speaker 4: if you don't go, you know how to be far

476
00:21:23,480 --> 00:21:27,520
Speaker 4: worse because you'll be like, I was wrong of you

477
00:21:27,720 --> 00:21:30,680
Speaker 4: not to do that. Socially, I'm being a bad friend

478
00:21:30,720 --> 00:21:33,800
Speaker 4: because I haven't gone and got beers or whatever it is.

479
00:21:33,960 --> 00:21:36,000
Speaker 1: So what do you look What do you look like

480
00:21:36,119 --> 00:21:38,000
Speaker 1: in this scenario where you do rock up and you

481
00:21:38,160 --> 00:21:39,520
Speaker 1: are socially anxious?

482
00:21:40,400 --> 00:21:45,600
Speaker 4: I think, fine, yeah, you're pretty good actor, which is

483
00:21:45,640 --> 00:21:49,719
Speaker 4: which is which I've often thought is it's a great skill.

484
00:21:50,240 --> 00:21:51,359
Speaker 3: But then very scary.

485
00:21:52,000 --> 00:21:55,720
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, I find my girlfriend gets really bad social.

486
00:21:55,480 --> 00:21:56,240
Speaker 3: Anxiety as well.

487
00:21:56,400 --> 00:21:59,520
Speaker 2: And I I've been with a five years.

488
00:21:59,359 --> 00:22:01,879
Speaker 1: With semi for five years, and we will leave a

489
00:22:02,000 --> 00:22:05,080
Speaker 1: party and she wouould be read.

490
00:22:04,960 --> 00:22:08,359
Speaker 3: Hot yes yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah yeah, And.

491
00:22:08,400 --> 00:22:10,480
Speaker 1: They're like, we'll get in the car while the uber

492
00:22:10,560 --> 00:22:14,040
Speaker 1: door will close, And I was like, and how good

493
00:22:14,119 --> 00:22:17,000
Speaker 1: is that? Like tears and her eyes like that was just, yeah,

494
00:22:17,720 --> 00:22:18,560
Speaker 1: the hardest thing ever.

495
00:22:19,320 --> 00:22:19,960
Speaker 2: I just can't tell.

496
00:22:20,200 --> 00:22:22,000
Speaker 4: The only fight I've had with Mim we went to

497
00:22:22,600 --> 00:22:24,639
Speaker 4: we were at a thing with a group of people,

498
00:22:24,840 --> 00:22:27,840
Speaker 4: and I didn't want to go to the pub afterwards

499
00:22:28,240 --> 00:22:30,040
Speaker 4: because I was I was, I was right on my limit.

500
00:22:30,880 --> 00:22:33,000
Speaker 2: I've tried hard, but was it a new group of

501
00:22:33,119 --> 00:22:34,680
Speaker 2: people that, Yeah, that's tough.

502
00:22:34,560 --> 00:22:37,000
Speaker 4: Which which which makes it harder because then you've got

503
00:22:37,040 --> 00:22:38,879
Speaker 4: this I need to step it up even more. These

504
00:22:38,920 --> 00:22:40,920
Speaker 4: people don't know me, and I need to be my

505
00:22:41,040 --> 00:22:41,880
Speaker 4: best me or whatever.

506
00:22:42,040 --> 00:22:45,080
Speaker 1: Yeah, I know is everybody would want. But as a

507
00:22:45,160 --> 00:22:48,080
Speaker 1: naturally socially anxious person, you're obviously tidying the screws there.

508
00:22:48,119 --> 00:22:48,800
Speaker 3: So you set me up.

509
00:22:48,840 --> 00:22:52,240
Speaker 4: And I was trying and it was completely my fault,

510
00:22:52,280 --> 00:22:54,560
Speaker 4: but I was trying to subtly say to Mim, I

511
00:22:54,640 --> 00:22:58,680
Speaker 4: don't want to go to the pub without saying I

512
00:22:58,840 --> 00:23:00,960
Speaker 4: can't go to the pub because I'm right on my

513
00:23:01,119 --> 00:23:04,000
Speaker 4: limit of like I'm I'm close to just breaking down.

514
00:23:04,320 --> 00:23:07,200
Speaker 2: Early relationship and anxiety is just a match made in hell.

515
00:23:07,320 --> 00:23:09,479
Speaker 4: Really, Oh yeah, a big time and it was it's

516
00:23:09,480 --> 00:23:11,560
Speaker 4: almost like we were only just don't have those conversations

517
00:23:11,640 --> 00:23:12,879
Speaker 4: of like, hey, I get a little bit of this,

518
00:23:13,080 --> 00:23:14,639
Speaker 4: and these are the signs to know to pick up

519
00:23:14,680 --> 00:23:14,840
Speaker 4: on that.

520
00:23:15,200 --> 00:23:15,880
Speaker 3: And I remember Mim.

521
00:23:16,520 --> 00:23:19,320
Speaker 4: Mim was sort of misreading it, totally understandably because I'm

522
00:23:19,359 --> 00:23:22,720
Speaker 4: still up and about, I'm still jovial woody, but going like, oh,

523
00:23:22,760 --> 00:23:24,359
Speaker 4: I'm not sure about the pub. And then it's like, oh,

524
00:23:24,400 --> 00:23:27,159
Speaker 4: let's just go for one drink, and then people please her.

525
00:23:27,160 --> 00:23:28,600
Speaker 4: I'm like, yeah, I guess I can do one drink,

526
00:23:28,640 --> 00:23:30,520
Speaker 4: and then it's you can start seeing in my eyes

527
00:23:30,520 --> 00:23:33,960
Speaker 4: and I had a moment where we were alone and

528
00:23:34,080 --> 00:23:35,399
Speaker 4: I was like, I can't believe in making me go

529
00:23:35,440 --> 00:23:37,800
Speaker 4: to the pub, and she was like, WHOA, what the

530
00:23:38,160 --> 00:23:39,480
Speaker 4: hell has happened there?

531
00:23:39,520 --> 00:23:40,399
Speaker 2: And I was like to do it?

532
00:23:41,200 --> 00:23:44,679
Speaker 4: And in my head I was like, very subtly, discreetly

533
00:23:44,960 --> 00:23:47,240
Speaker 4: mentioned to you that I maybe wasn't that keen on

534
00:23:47,359 --> 00:23:49,480
Speaker 4: one more drink. And she was like, oh, I thought

535
00:23:49,520 --> 00:23:51,880
Speaker 4: that was just like a site, which totally fair enough, yeah,

536
00:23:51,880 --> 00:23:53,560
Speaker 4: because from herpose, but it was a nothing comment. But

537
00:23:53,640 --> 00:23:55,600
Speaker 4: for me, that was huge to say I don't think

538
00:23:55,640 --> 00:23:57,480
Speaker 4: I can go to that. Yeah, Anyway, I went to

539
00:23:57,520 --> 00:23:58,919
Speaker 4: the pub, ended up being quite a bit blow up

540
00:23:58,920 --> 00:24:02,280
Speaker 4: and a few tears and stuff because again because I

541
00:24:02,440 --> 00:24:04,119
Speaker 4: was there, and again the hard thing for her was

542
00:24:04,160 --> 00:24:06,879
Speaker 4: it was like, I'm looking at this guy who's again.

543
00:24:07,040 --> 00:24:08,520
Speaker 3: You're on fire and getting around.

544
00:24:09,640 --> 00:24:11,760
Speaker 4: But she was like she couldn't watch me in that

545
00:24:11,880 --> 00:24:14,800
Speaker 4: scenario because she knew what I was going through right

546
00:24:15,600 --> 00:24:17,600
Speaker 4: and again, but again it was led to a great conversation.

547
00:24:17,720 --> 00:24:20,200
Speaker 4: So that was all good, but it's a good example

548
00:24:20,320 --> 00:24:24,720
Speaker 4: of how social anxiety can just build up to a point.

549
00:24:24,880 --> 00:24:27,600
Speaker 3: There's some of the hardest conversations to have too, because

550
00:24:27,600 --> 00:24:32,240
Speaker 3: I know my wife, who I in this instance thoroughly

551
00:24:32,280 --> 00:24:34,800
Speaker 3: appreciate what she says because she's probably the most honest person.

552
00:24:34,920 --> 00:24:38,760
Speaker 3: Yeah that's ever been honest to me, because as as

553
00:24:38,800 --> 00:24:40,359
Speaker 3: someone that's got the gift of the gab, who just

554
00:24:40,480 --> 00:24:43,760
Speaker 3: can't stop talking, and you've picked up on that no

555
00:24:43,880 --> 00:24:45,680
Speaker 3: doubt the last two and a half years and just

556
00:24:45,920 --> 00:24:49,400
Speaker 3: constantly like having this thing where and this is where

557
00:24:49,400 --> 00:24:51,399
Speaker 3: a lot of my anxiety takes over where I can't

558
00:24:51,480 --> 00:24:55,000
Speaker 3: actually stop talking. And she was the first person that's

559
00:24:55,040 --> 00:24:56,840
Speaker 3: ever pulled me out and just said, you need to

560
00:24:56,920 --> 00:25:00,600
Speaker 3: listen better. Yeah, like you've never just sat back and

561
00:25:00,720 --> 00:25:02,639
Speaker 3: listen to someone and invited people in. And it's like

562
00:25:02,720 --> 00:25:05,399
Speaker 3: you just have to be the center of attention and

563
00:25:05,520 --> 00:25:08,000
Speaker 3: do this too often where you think like this is

564
00:25:08,080 --> 00:25:10,600
Speaker 3: the right thing to do, but you need to like

565
00:25:10,800 --> 00:25:12,760
Speaker 3: that's good. I don't want to stop you from being

566
00:25:12,840 --> 00:25:14,880
Speaker 3: that's who you are, but you need to be able

567
00:25:14,880 --> 00:25:17,760
Speaker 3: to step back and say and share the ball. Yeah,

568
00:25:17,840 --> 00:25:19,040
Speaker 3: there's no malice there.

569
00:25:19,040 --> 00:25:21,040
Speaker 4: It's fine because you think you're doing what you need

570
00:25:21,160 --> 00:25:23,600
Speaker 4: to do to make people feel good and bring enjoy

571
00:25:23,680 --> 00:25:25,399
Speaker 4: to them whatever. But it's funny when you're anxious. And

572
00:25:25,440 --> 00:25:27,120
Speaker 4: I noticed this with the If I'm having a really

573
00:25:27,119 --> 00:25:28,880
Speaker 4: anxious day and I'm doing the radio show, the first

574
00:25:28,920 --> 00:25:31,639
Speaker 4: thing that goes is listening. Yeah, you just stop.

575
00:25:31,720 --> 00:25:32,200
Speaker 3: You don't.

576
00:25:32,280 --> 00:25:35,440
Speaker 4: You don't mean to, but you're so worried about what

577
00:25:35,720 --> 00:25:38,040
Speaker 4: you're going to say or that you're going to fuck up,

578
00:25:38,680 --> 00:25:39,520
Speaker 4: that you just stop.

579
00:25:40,560 --> 00:25:44,920
Speaker 2: You stop listening to people. Yeah, And it's a key indicator. Oh,

580
00:25:45,119 --> 00:25:45,960
Speaker 2: key indicating.

581
00:25:46,160 --> 00:25:49,440
Speaker 4: And you notice it and you're like, holy, it's about

582
00:25:49,960 --> 00:25:51,760
Speaker 4: I'm trying to we're in a book club together and

583
00:25:51,800 --> 00:25:53,399
Speaker 4: me we're in a book club. Sorry, Joel, Yeah, you

584
00:25:53,480 --> 00:25:55,600
Speaker 4: might get an invite when I don't read books, but

585
00:25:56,640 --> 00:26:00,440
Speaker 4: happily shouldn't take notes when I read. It's the best

586
00:26:00,480 --> 00:26:02,960
Speaker 4: indicator I'm anxious because I will not be able.

587
00:26:02,760 --> 00:26:07,200
Speaker 3: To get past a page. You got to concentrate taking

588
00:26:07,280 --> 00:26:07,639
Speaker 3: any of that.

589
00:26:07,800 --> 00:26:09,600
Speaker 4: And you say that again, you haven't taken in any

590
00:26:09,640 --> 00:26:11,560
Speaker 4: of that. Holy shit, I haven't got past a page.

591
00:26:11,680 --> 00:26:14,360
Speaker 3: I'm three pages in and I don't remember a single word. Yeah,

592
00:26:14,560 --> 00:26:16,439
Speaker 3: that's been in a nutshell with reading. But I'd love

593
00:26:16,480 --> 00:26:19,159
Speaker 3: to know your opinion on this week because whenever my

594
00:26:19,440 --> 00:26:22,320
Speaker 3: wife would bring it up in an instance where like

595
00:26:22,359 --> 00:26:24,439
Speaker 3: it's a barbecue or wete a cob and I, oh,

596
00:26:24,560 --> 00:26:26,160
Speaker 3: you know something, like you know it was good.

597
00:26:26,640 --> 00:26:27,080
Speaker 2: I wasn't.

598
00:26:27,400 --> 00:26:29,840
Speaker 3: I wasn't too overbearing tonight, like I pulled it back

599
00:26:29,840 --> 00:26:32,000
Speaker 3: a bit, like because she knows that chat. It's like, yeah,

600
00:26:32,040 --> 00:26:33,080
Speaker 3: it's been happening for a long time.

601
00:26:33,440 --> 00:26:34,600
Speaker 2: You say that when you leave, you're like.

602
00:26:36,840 --> 00:26:39,800
Speaker 3: At the bund if, I'm like bad joel as at

603
00:26:39,840 --> 00:26:42,920
Speaker 3: a five I was. It was two point five tonight.

604
00:26:43,000 --> 00:26:45,440
Speaker 3: I was pretty pretty pretty good. Yeah, shared the ball

605
00:26:45,480 --> 00:26:46,879
Speaker 3: around and and she's like.

606
00:26:47,040 --> 00:26:51,160
Speaker 1: M, how does it work that if you are feeling anxious,

607
00:26:52,040 --> 00:26:55,680
Speaker 1: the way to compensate for the anxious the anxiety or

608
00:26:55,800 --> 00:27:02,600
Speaker 1: like satisfy the anxiety is too each more. OK, how

609
00:27:02,640 --> 00:27:06,240
Speaker 1: does that work? Because it's the same with like performers,

610
00:27:06,320 --> 00:27:09,080
Speaker 1: Like you notice someone immediately on stage, you're just like,

611
00:27:09,240 --> 00:27:10,720
Speaker 1: if you go and watch the show that you're reaching,

612
00:27:12,000 --> 00:27:14,840
Speaker 1: you're pushing way too hard. That we got the gag

613
00:27:15,480 --> 00:27:20,000
Speaker 1: and it goes back to that Eurydices.

614
00:27:20,640 --> 00:27:23,800
Speaker 3: What his name, Rong Johnson, doctor.

615
00:27:25,000 --> 00:27:28,840
Speaker 1: Eureki's Dodson law of course, Yeah, you Reki Dodson law,

616
00:27:28,840 --> 00:27:31,840
Speaker 1: which is there's a there's a peak amount of alertness

617
00:27:32,119 --> 00:27:34,159
Speaker 1: in a group of people where it's like, because it

618
00:27:34,200 --> 00:27:35,880
Speaker 1: happens all the time you meet the CEO at work,

619
00:27:36,840 --> 00:27:38,960
Speaker 1: gonna be anxious, And how many times we all walked

620
00:27:39,000 --> 00:27:40,399
Speaker 1: away from the CEO interaction and.

621
00:27:40,440 --> 00:27:42,080
Speaker 2: Gone, that was the worst thing.

622
00:27:42,520 --> 00:27:45,479
Speaker 3: Why did I tell you? The story that was easily

623
00:27:45,640 --> 00:27:46,399
Speaker 3: was that you and.

624
00:27:46,400 --> 00:27:49,080
Speaker 1: I have Unfortunately I don't know how you haven't nailed

625
00:27:49,119 --> 00:27:51,880
Speaker 1: this over the course of ten years, but a litany

626
00:27:51,960 --> 00:27:56,280
Speaker 1: of awful, awful stories where we've met people that we

627
00:27:56,359 --> 00:27:59,600
Speaker 1: actually really get along with. Actually, no, maybe we should

628
00:27:59,600 --> 00:28:01,400
Speaker 1: do as a favor and played the delta goodom audio.

629
00:28:01,640 --> 00:28:03,879
Speaker 3: Yeah, this is actually a great This is a great example.

630
00:28:04,560 --> 00:28:06,560
Speaker 4: And I remember I came out of this honestly, before

631
00:28:06,560 --> 00:28:07,920
Speaker 4: you play the audio, I came out of this and

632
00:28:08,000 --> 00:28:12,560
Speaker 4: I was like, I finally had this calm, just normal

633
00:28:12,640 --> 00:28:14,000
Speaker 4: const after it.

634
00:28:14,200 --> 00:28:16,719
Speaker 1: After it, you were saying, because this is interesting, Ti

635
00:28:17,119 --> 00:28:19,920
Speaker 1: Joelson said before as well, yes, because you need to

636
00:28:20,000 --> 00:28:21,440
Speaker 1: reference check with your wife afterwards.

637
00:28:21,600 --> 00:28:24,520
Speaker 2: You how did that go? And anxious wise, what you're

638
00:28:24,600 --> 00:28:29,400
Speaker 2: saying that anxiety blinds it lies to you. Anxiety lies

639
00:28:29,440 --> 00:28:31,439
Speaker 2: to you totally. Really about how it went.

640
00:28:33,920 --> 00:28:35,920
Speaker 4: In my head, I was like, I think I was

641
00:28:35,960 --> 00:28:38,640
Speaker 4: pretty calm there. Wow, I asked normal questions.

642
00:28:39,120 --> 00:28:44,040
Speaker 3: I didn't yell. This is what really happened. That the

643
00:28:44,080 --> 00:28:54,880
Speaker 3: good room it is and it's extraordinary.

644
00:28:54,920 --> 00:29:03,600
Speaker 2: And at the end, as Joe.

645
00:29:03,600 --> 00:29:05,720
Speaker 1: As Joel's wife was just coming for a couple of times,

646
00:29:05,840 --> 00:29:11,120
Speaker 1: Joel gets Cash pointed out the breathing is the anxiety.

647
00:29:11,480 --> 00:29:12,000
Speaker 3: You can hear.

648
00:29:16,600 --> 00:29:17,560
Speaker 2: That exhale.

649
00:29:17,760 --> 00:29:19,960
Speaker 4: It was like me em bracing myself and it was

650
00:29:20,040 --> 00:29:22,120
Speaker 4: just all hit me at once, and it was like

651
00:29:22,840 --> 00:29:25,760
Speaker 4: the nerves just bang, heart rate whatever. And then it's

652
00:29:25,880 --> 00:29:28,320
Speaker 4: like you find but you find that, you find, you

653
00:29:28,360 --> 00:29:31,360
Speaker 4: find your fine, let's just do this, which is stupid.

654
00:29:31,120 --> 00:29:32,080
Speaker 3: This is a conversation with something.

655
00:29:32,120 --> 00:29:35,280
Speaker 4: We've met Delta five six times and very con.

656
00:29:36,720 --> 00:29:39,760
Speaker 3: Speak to her. And it was fine, it was totally.

657
00:29:39,760 --> 00:29:42,000
Speaker 3: It was just that small instance there. But then you're

658
00:29:42,040 --> 00:29:44,240
Speaker 3: hearing that back your brain has gone, well, hang on,

659
00:29:44,360 --> 00:29:47,200
Speaker 3: maybe I didn't speak like I thought I did and

660
00:29:47,280 --> 00:29:49,760
Speaker 3: that and that's the anxiety that I feel constantly because

661
00:29:49,880 --> 00:29:52,680
Speaker 3: I will have these chats and I'm like, God, great night.

662
00:29:53,160 --> 00:29:56,920
Speaker 3: Spoke with j boone over there for two hours and

663
00:29:56,960 --> 00:29:58,760
Speaker 3: we just had the greatest time, and then it just

664
00:29:58,840 --> 00:30:01,800
Speaker 3: takes one little sea like that audio grab, or like

665
00:30:01,880 --> 00:30:04,000
Speaker 3: my wife going like Jesus Christ, why were you talking

666
00:30:04,040 --> 00:30:05,960
Speaker 3: about the time you shot yourself at your friend's wedding?

667
00:30:08,520 --> 00:30:09,760
Speaker 2: You just fill in the space.

668
00:30:10,560 --> 00:30:12,440
Speaker 4: It's not even trying to impress people. It's just like

669
00:30:13,680 --> 00:30:16,680
Speaker 4: try just trying to elevate everyone's moments.

670
00:30:16,800 --> 00:30:18,800
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's how your DNA is kind of structure. And

671
00:30:18,840 --> 00:30:20,880
Speaker 3: that's what we kind of probably have to remind ourselves

672
00:30:20,880 --> 00:30:24,080
Speaker 3: when we're at our most anxious that it's not showing off.

673
00:30:24,120 --> 00:30:26,520
Speaker 3: And I had had people tell me my entire childhood,

674
00:30:26,560 --> 00:30:29,280
Speaker 3: like you're such a show off. Why do you show

675
00:30:29,320 --> 00:30:31,160
Speaker 3: off so much? Like it's it's not about that. I

676
00:30:31,360 --> 00:30:34,000
Speaker 3: just this has how I'm built. Yeah, I will think

677
00:30:34,080 --> 00:30:36,760
Speaker 3: of we'll be talking about snakes. I've got a snake story.

678
00:30:36,840 --> 00:30:38,840
Speaker 3: That's great. I'm going to tell that story now because

679
00:30:38,840 --> 00:30:47,840
Speaker 3: it's entertaining. And then you're it's a role that ship

680
00:30:47,960 --> 00:30:49,800
Speaker 3: dollar down. Man, I've just met these people.

681
00:30:50,200 --> 00:30:51,960
Speaker 2: God, you bought another bottle of wine?

682
00:30:52,240 --> 00:30:54,520
Speaker 3: Oh God, do you get a look talking about snakes?

683
00:30:54,560 --> 00:30:56,520
Speaker 3: Do you get a look like if you're a midst at, your.

684
00:30:58,040 --> 00:30:59,680
Speaker 2: Snake would be a tough experiment.

685
00:31:00,240 --> 00:31:04,000
Speaker 3: Actually reminds me of office dick.

686
00:31:04,120 --> 00:31:06,160
Speaker 2: Did they Well, that's that's what I was asking. It'd

687
00:31:06,160 --> 00:31:06,800
Speaker 2: be hard to find it.

688
00:31:06,840 --> 00:31:09,560
Speaker 4: I would have thought, maybe it comes out. It must

689
00:31:09,600 --> 00:31:12,120
Speaker 4: get No, it must be because you couldn't have a dick.

690
00:31:12,360 --> 00:31:15,960
Speaker 4: That slythering motion would be deeply impacted by a dick.

691
00:31:16,120 --> 00:31:18,480
Speaker 3: I've seen snakes in like a stick.

692
00:31:18,320 --> 00:31:18,680
Speaker 1: In the mud.

693
00:31:20,680 --> 00:31:25,400
Speaker 3: I'm not going to good advice that's around.

694
00:31:25,760 --> 00:31:25,960
Speaker 1: I know.

695
00:31:26,080 --> 00:31:30,600
Speaker 2: I loved myself in the mud. Just snakes living through

696
00:31:30,720 --> 00:31:31,200
Speaker 2: some mud.

697
00:31:32,160 --> 00:31:35,480
Speaker 5: A female snake and some sort of scandily clad alligator

698
00:31:35,480 --> 00:31:36,120
Speaker 5: skin or whatever.

699
00:31:36,320 --> 00:31:36,760
Speaker 3: He sees it.

700
00:31:36,800 --> 00:31:38,040
Speaker 2: And he's like, no, I'm in the mud. I'm in

701
00:31:38,040 --> 00:31:40,440
Speaker 2: the MUDs thinking of the wooden chair, think in the

702
00:31:40,440 --> 00:31:41,160
Speaker 2: wooden well.

703
00:31:41,280 --> 00:31:43,840
Speaker 3: Like a kid in a swimming pool in high school.

704
00:31:44,560 --> 00:31:48,280
Speaker 3: Everyone out of the pool, mister Stevens, I'm.

705
00:31:48,240 --> 00:31:54,480
Speaker 2: You know, in a minute, I dropped my goggles, my shorts.

706
00:31:55,760 --> 00:31:55,960
Speaker 3: Went.

707
00:31:57,160 --> 00:32:02,480
Speaker 6: Can I just say, speaking of anxiety round back to anxiety.

708
00:32:03,320 --> 00:32:07,280
Speaker 6: Most anxious time that I think nearly anyone listening right

709
00:32:07,360 --> 00:32:10,080
Speaker 6: now has ever felt in their lives was compulsory high

710
00:32:10,080 --> 00:32:11,560
Speaker 6: school swim days the worst.

711
00:32:11,640 --> 00:32:13,200
Speaker 3: What the fuck? The perfect dom?

712
00:32:13,280 --> 00:32:17,400
Speaker 4: You had body here at different times people, If your

713
00:32:17,440 --> 00:32:19,960
Speaker 4: body wasn't right, it inflamed my acne as well. The

714
00:32:20,000 --> 00:32:23,680
Speaker 4: chlorine just made a wild It was like ship was

715
00:32:24,000 --> 00:32:25,240
Speaker 4: going to be so red faced.

716
00:32:25,280 --> 00:32:27,680
Speaker 3: After there was someone like Kieran O'Neill who had an

717
00:32:27,720 --> 00:32:30,640
Speaker 3: eight pack at the age and I was. I was

718
00:32:30,680 --> 00:32:34,520
Speaker 3: a chubby at age twelve. Are I legit went from

719
00:32:34,640 --> 00:32:38,680
Speaker 3: like five five four to six foot two in six months.

720
00:32:38,920 --> 00:32:42,120
Speaker 3: My body just needed to stretch out. It's all that flobber,

721
00:32:42,280 --> 00:32:46,200
Speaker 3: that that seal fat, it just built up. It just

722
00:32:46,280 --> 00:32:48,160
Speaker 3: sat there through the entire eighth grade.

723
00:32:48,440 --> 00:32:50,680
Speaker 2: And so that worst time and then you'd see it

724
00:32:50,760 --> 00:32:51,640
Speaker 2: like it was just awful.

725
00:32:51,800 --> 00:32:54,840
Speaker 1: You'd see and there was also this like expectation that

726
00:32:55,040 --> 00:32:57,400
Speaker 1: you would wear a particular type of swimsuit.

727
00:32:58,600 --> 00:33:00,520
Speaker 3: I would wear shirts in the pool. I was the

728
00:33:00,600 --> 00:33:04,800
Speaker 3: shirt you see the shirt. I was that guy. And

729
00:33:04,840 --> 00:33:08,880
Speaker 3: then the water would stick to your You were just

730
00:33:08,960 --> 00:33:13,200
Speaker 3: shooting yourself and the fat because the water just accentuated

731
00:33:13,240 --> 00:33:20,320
Speaker 3: the shirt. Book one hundred. You're just like, oh God,

732
00:33:20,440 --> 00:33:21,760
Speaker 3: why not, we're shooting the pool.

733
00:33:24,680 --> 00:33:27,360
Speaker 1: Just what I'm saying that I felt for those kids

734
00:33:27,600 --> 00:33:31,200
Speaker 1: so much where it was just like I suppose it's

735
00:33:31,600 --> 00:33:32,480
Speaker 1: high school in general.

736
00:33:32,520 --> 00:33:34,200
Speaker 2: There's always going to be an area where.

737
00:33:34,680 --> 00:33:36,960
Speaker 1: Someone's not good at it, or someone's not confident, or

738
00:33:37,000 --> 00:33:38,320
Speaker 1: someone's embarrassed about something.

739
00:33:38,400 --> 00:33:40,600
Speaker 2: But I don't know, I don't know.

740
00:33:40,680 --> 00:33:41,920
Speaker 3: I hope they've rethought that.

741
00:33:44,760 --> 00:33:45,560
Speaker 4: Dick side as well.

742
00:33:47,400 --> 00:33:52,520
Speaker 3: Shocking time for the girls, think breasts, who hasn't got

743
00:33:53,160 --> 00:33:55,800
Speaker 3: in the hair thing? And then and it's good and

744
00:33:55,920 --> 00:33:59,120
Speaker 3: bad and awful throughout the whole range, because you've got

745
00:33:59,160 --> 00:34:01,440
Speaker 3: the girl who hasn't helped, Yeah, the girl who's sort

746
00:34:01,480 --> 00:34:03,640
Speaker 3: of midway through it is awkward. And then the only

747
00:34:03,720 --> 00:34:07,600
Speaker 3: girl in the class that's fully developed, Yeah, she's developed

748
00:34:07,920 --> 00:34:11,960
Speaker 3: because all the boys are looking at shocking time for

749
00:34:12,040 --> 00:34:13,840
Speaker 3: all that's.

750
00:34:13,719 --> 00:34:15,239
Speaker 4: One of the girls about having their period as well,

751
00:34:15,320 --> 00:34:17,239
Speaker 4: like they're embarrassed by having their period. All of a sudden,

752
00:34:17,400 --> 00:34:18,960
Speaker 4: it's going to jump in a pool and you've got

753
00:34:19,040 --> 00:34:21,240
Speaker 4: to say no, no, I can't.

754
00:34:21,440 --> 00:34:26,520
Speaker 3: Oh Jesus, yeah, talk about anxiety.

755
00:34:26,960 --> 00:34:29,280
Speaker 2: That's yeah anxiety.

756
00:34:29,680 --> 00:34:30,320
Speaker 3: That that for me.

757
00:34:30,480 --> 00:34:32,880
Speaker 4: When I'm hearing that that's rational anxiety. You should be

758
00:34:32,960 --> 00:34:36,000
Speaker 4: nervous about that, she should be feeling terrible about. I think.

759
00:34:36,000 --> 00:34:38,000
Speaker 4: I think that's when anxiety is actually okay, it's like,

760
00:34:38,320 --> 00:34:39,720
Speaker 4: oh no, it's actually believing.

761
00:34:39,760 --> 00:34:41,280
Speaker 3: I find when it's like, oh, I should be nervous.

762
00:34:41,400 --> 00:34:45,120
Speaker 1: Yes, this is totally normal, but a merger of I think,

763
00:34:45,440 --> 00:34:49,280
Speaker 1: and this is the terrifying thing and the really annoying things.

764
00:34:49,360 --> 00:34:51,800
Speaker 1: You said, what's the annoying thing about the irrational anxiety?

765
00:34:51,920 --> 00:34:54,239
Speaker 1: Is it it doesn't make any sense because you can

766
00:34:54,280 --> 00:34:55,680
Speaker 1: be thinking about the pool incident.

767
00:34:56,120 --> 00:34:59,520
Speaker 2: Yeah ten years later, yeah yeah, yeah, and it has nothing.

768
00:34:59,280 --> 00:35:00,759
Speaker 4: To do with what you about to do that you

769
00:35:00,880 --> 00:35:02,360
Speaker 4: might still struggle to go to the pool. You're, you know,

770
00:35:02,480 --> 00:35:04,640
Speaker 4: thirty year old man, and for some reason.

771
00:35:04,360 --> 00:35:06,720
Speaker 2: The anxiety, Yeah, just just making any sense anymore.

772
00:35:06,800 --> 00:35:08,880
Speaker 1: I do think, and I want to go back to

773
00:35:08,880 --> 00:35:11,919
Speaker 1: you because I know you're in a new relationship with Mimi,

774
00:35:12,040 --> 00:35:14,640
Speaker 1: and you guys have kind of had to navigate your

775
00:35:14,680 --> 00:35:17,480
Speaker 1: anxieties quite a bit, which is something that you have

776
00:35:18,200 --> 00:35:23,360
Speaker 1: previously very adeptly hidden from whoever you're with.

777
00:35:23,680 --> 00:35:26,359
Speaker 4: I reverted back as well, even with him, Like We'll

778
00:35:26,360 --> 00:35:30,200
Speaker 4: have conversations, we've covered it, and then three days later

779
00:35:30,280 --> 00:35:33,799
Speaker 4: it's like she knows, and I'm like, we're talking about

780
00:35:34,360 --> 00:35:36,640
Speaker 4: Oh really, I'll be having a day where I'm just

781
00:35:36,760 --> 00:35:40,360
Speaker 4: particularly anxious. Yeah, and I'll be stumbling over words or

782
00:35:40,440 --> 00:35:43,280
Speaker 4: like whatever I'm doing, or like just trying to remove

783
00:35:43,360 --> 00:35:44,600
Speaker 4: myself from situations.

784
00:35:44,760 --> 00:35:46,879
Speaker 3: Yeah, And might go to is always like oh it's

785
00:35:46,920 --> 00:35:49,839
Speaker 3: be tired, yeah, And will she be digging away there

786
00:35:49,880 --> 00:35:52,319
Speaker 3: asking you, Yeah, I know what's going on here? Are

787
00:35:52,360 --> 00:35:53,200
Speaker 3: you okay? Yeah?

788
00:35:53,640 --> 00:35:53,879
Speaker 2: Fine?

789
00:35:54,320 --> 00:35:56,760
Speaker 3: I always toast, you know, my bread upside down.

790
00:35:56,640 --> 00:35:58,120
Speaker 2: And on the floor.

791
00:35:58,719 --> 00:36:00,480
Speaker 4: Yeah, totally.

792
00:36:00,560 --> 00:36:00,759
Speaker 3: Yeah.

793
00:36:00,760 --> 00:36:03,200
Speaker 4: And for whatever reason, you're like, you still get embarrassed

794
00:36:03,200 --> 00:36:06,520
Speaker 4: about if you are feeling anxios about something and really

795
00:36:06,560 --> 00:36:10,200
Speaker 4: insignificantly You're like, I'm feeling really nervous about going to

796
00:36:10,239 --> 00:36:13,359
Speaker 4: get a coffee from a cafe because I'm for some reason,

797
00:36:13,440 --> 00:36:16,399
Speaker 4: I'm anxious about talking to the barista because I want

798
00:36:16,480 --> 00:36:18,160
Speaker 4: him to fill it up a little bit more, but

799
00:36:18,200 --> 00:36:20,480
Speaker 4: I feel incredibly rude asking for him to fill it

800
00:36:20,560 --> 00:36:22,880
Speaker 4: up more or something like that. Or I think he

801
00:36:23,080 --> 00:36:26,400
Speaker 4: saw me get a coffee from a different cafe and

802
00:36:26,640 --> 00:36:29,279
Speaker 4: walk past, and I'm worried about the moment I go

803
00:36:29,400 --> 00:36:30,840
Speaker 4: back to that cafe because he saw me get a

804
00:36:30,840 --> 00:36:34,680
Speaker 4: coffee from another place, right, which is ridiculous. But for

805
00:36:34,800 --> 00:36:37,120
Speaker 4: whatever reason, it's like, that is that's my world right now,

806
00:36:37,920 --> 00:36:40,200
Speaker 4: and I can't like, I mean, I can't tell you

807
00:36:40,320 --> 00:36:41,839
Speaker 4: that it's It's funny because some as you can see

808
00:36:41,880 --> 00:36:43,759
Speaker 4: yourself as a you know, a team, like I'm sure

809
00:36:43,800 --> 00:36:45,799
Speaker 4: with you and Cash and with you and Sam, and it's.

810
00:36:45,760 --> 00:36:49,080
Speaker 3: Like as a couple what you're providing. Yeah, it is.

811
00:36:49,160 --> 00:36:51,879
Speaker 4: It's a nice feeling to be able to go You've

812
00:36:51,920 --> 00:36:54,160
Speaker 4: got this, yes, you know what I mean, You've.

813
00:36:54,239 --> 00:36:54,920
Speaker 3: Got this for us.

814
00:36:55,280 --> 00:36:57,880
Speaker 1: I got somebody else who's going to fly the flag

815
00:36:57,960 --> 00:36:59,799
Speaker 1: for you, and you'll probably tie me into a couple

816
00:36:59,840 --> 00:37:01,160
Speaker 1: of laugh at woody moments.

817
00:37:01,200 --> 00:37:03,200
Speaker 3: Beautiful, yes, perfect.

818
00:37:02,960 --> 00:37:05,759
Speaker 1: Yeah, absolutely, all right, great, well, I think we're in

819
00:37:05,840 --> 00:37:07,920
Speaker 1: a beautiful spot there, boys. And the anxiety thing. I

820
00:37:07,960 --> 00:37:10,600
Speaker 1: want to finish it the podcast. If there's a lot

821
00:37:10,640 --> 00:37:11,560
Speaker 1: of I mean there's so much.

822
00:37:11,400 --> 00:37:12,960
Speaker 3: More it gets to my items.

823
00:37:13,800 --> 00:37:14,520
Speaker 2: Do you want to bring it?

824
00:37:15,080 --> 00:37:16,759
Speaker 4: It's not a huge deal. It's not like it's not

825
00:37:16,800 --> 00:37:20,759
Speaker 4: a huge snake masturbating story. It is just as an

826
00:37:20,840 --> 00:37:25,239
Speaker 4: example of I think the hardest part about anxiety is

827
00:37:25,280 --> 00:37:28,200
Speaker 4: the things that you're anxious about which are just laughable.

828
00:37:28,800 --> 00:37:30,080
Speaker 3: And you guys will both know.

829
00:37:30,200 --> 00:37:33,640
Speaker 4: There was a day earlier this year where I was

830
00:37:33,760 --> 00:37:36,320
Speaker 4: walking around the radio station barefoot.

831
00:37:38,200 --> 00:37:40,080
Speaker 2: I know what I think.

832
00:37:41,120 --> 00:37:43,360
Speaker 4: I was not wearing shoes, and I was trying to

833
00:37:43,400 --> 00:37:45,200
Speaker 4: pass it off as likes. I said, oops, is I

834
00:37:45,239 --> 00:37:47,319
Speaker 4: forgot my shoes today? That was what I was telling people.

835
00:37:47,640 --> 00:37:49,000
Speaker 4: That's what I wanted people to believe.

836
00:37:49,080 --> 00:37:53,200
Speaker 3: Thin excuses I think you might let slip to mewards.

837
00:37:53,239 --> 00:37:58,000
Speaker 3: What was I think? Me just sitting in the corner,

838
00:37:58,200 --> 00:38:01,640
Speaker 3: just rocking back and forth learning anxiety. This guy knows

839
00:38:01,680 --> 00:38:04,400
Speaker 3: what I'm feeling right now. So what I brought in

840
00:38:04,800 --> 00:38:05,080
Speaker 3: is my.

841
00:38:05,520 --> 00:38:10,440
Speaker 7: Green ah the birkenstocks, the glockenspiel stock, because for whatever reason,

842
00:38:10,600 --> 00:38:13,960
Speaker 7: I wore these green birken stocks into work, and on

843
00:38:14,080 --> 00:38:17,880
Speaker 7: the drive to work, I had this like borderline panic

844
00:38:17,920 --> 00:38:22,000
Speaker 7: attack about what people would think about my green birkenstock.

845
00:38:22,719 --> 00:38:25,200
Speaker 4: Really interestingly. It's not necessarily.

846
00:38:26,520 --> 00:38:27,279
Speaker 3: It's fine. It's it's fine.

847
00:38:27,320 --> 00:38:29,440
Speaker 4: It's it's like, sure, you guys will not like it

848
00:38:29,520 --> 00:38:31,200
Speaker 4: or tease me whatever, and that's fine, but it's not

849
00:38:31,200 --> 00:38:34,479
Speaker 4: necessarily that. It's more for me, I'll be thinking about

850
00:38:34,520 --> 00:38:37,239
Speaker 4: what people think about my green birken stock so much

851
00:38:37,600 --> 00:38:41,840
Speaker 4: that I won't be able to focus on work. Wow,

852
00:38:42,880 --> 00:38:44,720
Speaker 4: And I won't be able to do the show properly

853
00:38:44,760 --> 00:38:47,280
Speaker 4: because I'll be thinking about my green birkenstocks.

854
00:38:47,840 --> 00:38:49,400
Speaker 3: That is a bit of a different look.

855
00:38:49,520 --> 00:38:51,759
Speaker 2: And that's kind of This is the peak of the

856
00:38:51,880 --> 00:38:55,680
Speaker 2: social anxiety thing. The anxiety. Social anxiety is you're aware

857
00:38:55,719 --> 00:38:56,920
Speaker 2: of what other people think about you.

858
00:38:57,600 --> 00:39:00,480
Speaker 3: Yeah, and that's what it is. It's stepping outside of

859
00:39:00,520 --> 00:39:02,680
Speaker 3: your lane too. And I noticed this when I went

860
00:39:02,719 --> 00:39:03,239
Speaker 3: back home to.

861
00:39:03,560 --> 00:39:05,399
Speaker 1: Do you mean like, stepping outside of your lane means

862
00:39:05,440 --> 00:39:07,840
Speaker 1: that you're going to get increased attention, which means that

863
00:39:07,920 --> 00:39:09,560
Speaker 1: other people are going to be thinking about you more.

864
00:39:10,760 --> 00:39:13,839
Speaker 3: So. I've grown like a covid mop in the last

865
00:39:13,880 --> 00:39:15,640
Speaker 3: twelve months and my hair is really long now and

866
00:39:15,680 --> 00:39:17,560
Speaker 3: I used to rock a peaky blinders short back in

867
00:39:17,680 --> 00:39:19,919
Speaker 3: sides and so when I went back to Darwin, hadn't

868
00:39:19,920 --> 00:39:22,040
Speaker 3: been back home in a year and a half, and

869
00:39:22,280 --> 00:39:24,520
Speaker 3: all people would talk to me about was how long

870
00:39:24,560 --> 00:39:28,359
Speaker 3: my hair was, and it shipped me everywhere I went there, like, oh, dude,

871
00:39:28,400 --> 00:39:30,320
Speaker 3: what's going on? Is this a Melbourne thing? Like this

872
00:39:30,400 --> 00:39:32,480
Speaker 3: is like a man bunny, Like, what's going what's the

873
00:39:32,520 --> 00:39:33,840
Speaker 3: plan here? What's the plan of take? What are you

874
00:39:33,880 --> 00:39:35,360
Speaker 3: doing with your hair? Why is it long? And I

875
00:39:35,480 --> 00:39:38,160
Speaker 3: just be like, fuck off. And that just adds to

876
00:39:38,320 --> 00:39:40,279
Speaker 3: people like me and you woulds who like don't like

877
00:39:40,400 --> 00:39:42,920
Speaker 3: stepping out. And it can be something as small as fashion.

878
00:39:43,400 --> 00:39:45,239
Speaker 3: I know your lovely partner of men brought you a

879
00:39:45,280 --> 00:39:46,880
Speaker 3: white pair of shoes which you yet to wear to

880
00:39:46,960 --> 00:39:51,440
Speaker 3: work because you're worried ready for them. Everyone in the

881
00:39:51,520 --> 00:39:54,040
Speaker 3: office would be like, what load the cannons, load the

882
00:39:54,120 --> 00:39:58,920
Speaker 3: canons shoes? And I'm exactly the same as you. The

883
00:39:59,040 --> 00:40:01,120
Speaker 3: minute I think I like take a fashion risk or

884
00:40:01,160 --> 00:40:03,640
Speaker 3: try something different. My hair is so long it ships

885
00:40:03,680 --> 00:40:06,040
Speaker 3: me out, almost doesn't fit under a hat. I need

886
00:40:06,080 --> 00:40:08,160
Speaker 3: to tie it back with a with a hair tie,

887
00:40:08,200 --> 00:40:10,160
Speaker 3: which I do at home. You can't do it at

888
00:40:10,200 --> 00:40:13,040
Speaker 3: work because I'm petrified if people come out going fuck

889
00:40:14,200 --> 00:40:14,719
Speaker 3: nice hair.

890
00:40:14,960 --> 00:40:17,200
Speaker 4: Yeah, one hundred percent, I get that I get haircuts

891
00:40:17,239 --> 00:40:18,879
Speaker 4: on holidays because I need to have like a few

892
00:40:19,000 --> 00:40:21,879
Speaker 4: weeks to hide the fact that I've had a haircut. Wow,

893
00:40:22,719 --> 00:40:25,400
Speaker 4: because I'd be so worried about going to work the

894
00:40:25,440 --> 00:40:28,239
Speaker 4: next day with a haircut. I don't care that it's

895
00:40:28,239 --> 00:40:30,359
Speaker 4: not it's not a vanity thing. It's just that people

896
00:40:30,400 --> 00:40:33,440
Speaker 4: will notice it and then you'll be consumed with that

897
00:40:33,880 --> 00:40:36,319
Speaker 4: for the day is bizarre, I think.

898
00:40:36,800 --> 00:40:38,359
Speaker 2: I mean, I'd love to join the hair chat.

899
00:40:38,840 --> 00:40:41,080
Speaker 3: I might have to.

900
00:40:42,960 --> 00:40:44,200
Speaker 2: Just to be able to speak.

901
00:40:44,360 --> 00:40:47,279
Speaker 3: Well, that's okay with you. I hope you don't mind

902
00:40:47,320 --> 00:40:48,880
Speaker 3: me bringing this up, and we can always chop this

903
00:40:49,000 --> 00:40:52,160
Speaker 3: out if we don't. But I know you were like,

904
00:40:52,640 --> 00:40:54,440
Speaker 3: just it was towards the end, just before we went

905
00:40:54,480 --> 00:40:57,040
Speaker 3: on a holiday break, you were launching your mental health app,

906
00:40:57,760 --> 00:41:00,440
Speaker 3: and you do a comedy show with your best You're like,

907
00:41:00,719 --> 00:41:02,200
Speaker 3: you know, you put in a lot to the show,

908
00:41:02,560 --> 00:41:05,000
Speaker 3: and and you were like, oh God, like you know,

909
00:41:05,080 --> 00:41:07,799
Speaker 3: I'm just feeling like I've dropped a couple of kgs

910
00:41:08,200 --> 00:41:11,040
Speaker 3: and everyone is commenting like, oh, Will, you're looking so trim,

911
00:41:11,360 --> 00:41:13,359
Speaker 3: and I could tell that was really pissing you off.

912
00:41:13,520 --> 00:41:15,520
Speaker 3: Yeah yeah, And I'm like, mate, you look good. And

913
00:41:15,560 --> 00:41:17,520
Speaker 3: if anything, like, of course you're probably going to drop

914
00:41:17,560 --> 00:41:20,160
Speaker 3: a couple killos if you're launching something you've spent three

915
00:41:20,280 --> 00:41:23,520
Speaker 3: years working on. Yeah, yeah, yeah, so it's similar vein

916
00:41:23,640 --> 00:41:26,279
Speaker 3: in that. Yeah, No, I think I think.

917
00:41:28,120 --> 00:41:32,360
Speaker 1: I think that annoyed me because I knew that I

918
00:41:32,560 --> 00:41:35,200
Speaker 1: was stressed, and I knew that that's.

919
00:41:35,000 --> 00:41:36,040
Speaker 2: Why it was falling off me.

920
00:41:36,840 --> 00:41:40,000
Speaker 3: So I was like, oh, people pointing out that you're stressed.

921
00:41:40,120 --> 00:41:43,439
Speaker 1: Yeah, And I think, funnily enough, you know, we're talking

922
00:41:43,440 --> 00:41:46,880
Speaker 1: about what causes anxiety. Anxieties are response to fear. Anxieties

923
00:41:46,920 --> 00:41:50,960
Speaker 1: are response to stress. I personally think I don't know

924
00:41:51,080 --> 00:41:53,680
Speaker 1: this for a fact, this is purely a hypothesis, but

925
00:41:53,800 --> 00:41:59,240
Speaker 1: I personally think that your your response to increased levels

926
00:41:59,280 --> 00:42:01,200
Speaker 1: of fear or ress, you either fall in one of

927
00:42:01,239 --> 00:42:03,440
Speaker 1: two camps. You either fall in the anxious camp or

928
00:42:03,480 --> 00:42:05,359
Speaker 1: you fall in the depressed champ. In the depressed camp.

929
00:42:06,239 --> 00:42:09,759
Speaker 1: The depressed Champ, I could be the depressed Champ.

930
00:42:10,080 --> 00:42:12,400
Speaker 3: That's a separate podcast. You're doing a good title.

931
00:42:13,760 --> 00:42:18,480
Speaker 1: To go for that, titles at the Champion of All Depress.

932
00:42:18,640 --> 00:42:24,040
Speaker 3: I am the champ interview a new depressed person like sorry,

933
00:42:24,040 --> 00:42:28,760
Speaker 3: I think wanted it's the thing you thought today.

934
00:42:29,120 --> 00:42:29,520
Speaker 2: Bring it on.

935
00:42:29,960 --> 00:42:32,400
Speaker 3: I bet you, I've got you. You're wearing a yellow jersey.

936
00:42:34,000 --> 00:42:38,600
Speaker 3: I am the race leader, so the so so.

937
00:42:39,320 --> 00:42:41,440
Speaker 1: I feel like you fit in one or two categories.

938
00:42:41,520 --> 00:42:44,439
Speaker 1: You either your stressed levels. Either get to it because

939
00:42:44,440 --> 00:42:47,600
Speaker 1: you actually just get your point. I think it's stress

940
00:42:47,680 --> 00:42:50,200
Speaker 1: is amazing like this. You can't deny stress. You're either

941
00:42:50,280 --> 00:42:52,960
Speaker 1: like when you when you get stressed, you're stressed. There's

942
00:42:53,080 --> 00:42:55,359
Speaker 1: no two ways about it. You have too many things

943
00:42:55,440 --> 00:42:59,920
Speaker 1: on your plate and physiologically there has to be a response.

944
00:43:00,080 --> 00:43:02,000
Speaker 1: And this is why I think that therapy is so important,

945
00:43:02,080 --> 00:43:04,080
Speaker 1: while I think talking to a psychologist is so important

946
00:43:04,080 --> 00:43:06,880
Speaker 1: because it's either going to come out. It's either going

947
00:43:06,920 --> 00:43:07,840
Speaker 1: to come out mentally.

948
00:43:07,640 --> 00:43:09,520
Speaker 2: Or it's going to come out physiologically. You've got one

949
00:43:09,600 --> 00:43:11,759
Speaker 2: or two ways. But the reality is you have a

950
00:43:11,840 --> 00:43:14,520
Speaker 2: pressure on you, that there's pressure on you. How is

951
00:43:14,560 --> 00:43:16,719
Speaker 2: that going to disperse itself? You can choose.

952
00:43:16,920 --> 00:43:19,080
Speaker 1: You can either talk it out, you can let it out.

953
00:43:19,120 --> 00:43:20,799
Speaker 1: You can be honest, you can be transparent, you can

954
00:43:20,880 --> 00:43:22,560
Speaker 1: work your way through it, or you can hide it.

955
00:43:23,600 --> 00:43:24,360
Speaker 2: It's going to affect you.

956
00:43:24,880 --> 00:43:27,560
Speaker 1: And I think I knew with the podcast stuff and

957
00:43:27,640 --> 00:43:29,399
Speaker 1: I had a whole bunch of other family things going

958
00:43:29,440 --> 00:43:32,239
Speaker 1: on and stuff like that, which is just building up

959
00:43:32,280 --> 00:43:34,440
Speaker 1: for me. I knew that that pressure was weighing on me,

960
00:43:35,120 --> 00:43:37,320
Speaker 1: and I knew that where it was expressing itself. I

961
00:43:37,400 --> 00:43:39,319
Speaker 1: knew exactly where it was expressing itself. Because I didn't

962
00:43:39,320 --> 00:43:40,839
Speaker 1: have time to talk to anyone about it. I had

963
00:43:40,840 --> 00:43:42,200
Speaker 1: to get the podcast out in two weeks. I had

964
00:43:42,200 --> 00:43:44,160
Speaker 1: to re least the app in two weeks. So what

965
00:43:44,239 --> 00:43:46,080
Speaker 1: happened is I just wasn't eating. I just couldn't eat

966
00:43:46,080 --> 00:43:49,080
Speaker 1: as much. It was just taking just taking killers off me.

967
00:43:49,120 --> 00:43:50,279
Speaker 1: And I've never experienced that before.

968
00:43:50,280 --> 00:43:52,759
Speaker 2: I was really, yeah, you're right, like it was looked.

969
00:43:53,120 --> 00:43:53,479
Speaker 2: I looked.

970
00:43:56,520 --> 00:43:57,239
Speaker 3: I still look good.

971
00:43:57,280 --> 00:43:59,359
Speaker 1: I mean, I know next coming up to summer, I'm

972
00:43:59,400 --> 00:44:01,600
Speaker 1: just going to set my self release new mental health

973
00:44:01,640 --> 00:44:04,240
Speaker 1: app in November sometime.

974
00:44:05,040 --> 00:44:10,600
Speaker 2: It's gonna be called Champions of Depression. You just it

975
00:44:10,719 --> 00:44:14,160
Speaker 2: just compares people's depression. How sad are you really?

976
00:44:15,400 --> 00:44:15,640
Speaker 3: God?

977
00:44:15,680 --> 00:44:18,839
Speaker 1: I wish that happened to me, so so yeah, maybe

978
00:44:18,840 --> 00:44:21,640
Speaker 1: it's a good place to wrap things today. There is

979
00:44:21,719 --> 00:44:23,439
Speaker 1: so much to talk about with anxiety, Like we didn't

980
00:44:23,440 --> 00:44:26,279
Speaker 1: even we didn't even touch in Like there's so much

981
00:44:26,360 --> 00:44:28,759
Speaker 1: talk about about like all the different places that you

982
00:44:28,840 --> 00:44:30,920
Speaker 1: can feel anxious. I should say, if you are feeling

983
00:44:31,000 --> 00:44:32,600
Speaker 1: really anxious and it is getting to a privates, I

984
00:44:32,680 --> 00:44:35,080
Speaker 1: manageable call lifelineal thirteen eleven fourteen orso. The people that

985
00:44:35,160 --> 00:44:37,160
Speaker 1: be on blue do amazing stuff there. Or like if

986
00:44:37,200 --> 00:44:40,200
Speaker 1: you haven't done already, like actually talk to somebody book.

987
00:44:40,800 --> 00:44:43,160
Speaker 1: I booked him with a new psychologist recently. It's an

988
00:44:43,200 --> 00:44:46,479
Speaker 1: intimidating thing to do, but sitting down and talking about

989
00:44:46,520 --> 00:44:48,520
Speaker 1: this sort of stuff means that you can actually have

990
00:44:48,640 --> 00:44:51,360
Speaker 1: a conversation with someone about it before it starts to

991
00:44:51,400 --> 00:44:53,759
Speaker 1: manifest itself in a really damaging way.

992
00:44:54,600 --> 00:44:57,480
Speaker 2: Get on top of it. So it's actually a thing

993
00:44:57,520 --> 00:44:59,080
Speaker 2: that you can get on top of as well.

994
00:45:00,000 --> 00:45:02,040
Speaker 1: So there's a guy called Alan de Berton who invested

995
00:45:03,000 --> 00:45:04,520
Speaker 1: created this thing called the School of Life, which you

996
00:45:04,560 --> 00:45:06,600
Speaker 1: might have seen on YouTube, and it just explains really

997
00:45:06,640 --> 00:45:08,400
Speaker 1: complex policy, really complex.

998
00:45:08,120 --> 00:45:09,040
Speaker 2: Ideas, very basically.

999
00:45:09,160 --> 00:45:09,720
Speaker 3: Oh nice.

1000
00:45:10,760 --> 00:45:13,440
Speaker 1: He went to Union and studied philosophy and a few

1001
00:45:13,480 --> 00:45:15,200
Speaker 1: other things, and he was like, it's ridiculous that I

1002
00:45:15,280 --> 00:45:17,239
Speaker 1: have to pay He went to like Oxford and he

1003
00:45:17,320 --> 00:45:18,800
Speaker 1: was like, it's ridiculous that I have to pay this

1004
00:45:18,920 --> 00:45:21,360
Speaker 1: much money to be exposed to these ideas, and he

1005
00:45:21,480 --> 00:45:23,879
Speaker 1: was like, this should be accessible to everyone. It's really

1006
00:45:23,920 --> 00:45:25,480
Speaker 1: tragic that these ideas unaccessible.

1007
00:45:25,560 --> 00:45:25,759
Speaker 3: Yeah.

1008
00:45:26,520 --> 00:45:28,960
Speaker 1: So he's got this thing called the School of Life

1009
00:45:29,000 --> 00:45:31,520
Speaker 1: on YouTube. If you haven't seen it, it's amazing watching.

1010
00:45:31,520 --> 00:45:33,960
Speaker 1: It's very basic stuff. But he's got a series of

1011
00:45:34,080 --> 00:45:37,280
Speaker 1: cards which I have in my desk under the category

1012
00:45:37,320 --> 00:45:40,319
Speaker 1: of wisdom, and there's like twenty different ones and they're

1013
00:45:40,360 --> 00:45:42,440
Speaker 1: just a paragraph on each one, and I'm going to

1014
00:45:42,480 --> 00:45:43,680
Speaker 1: try and read out one of them at the end

1015
00:45:43,719 --> 00:45:44,279
Speaker 1: of each one of these.

1016
00:45:44,480 --> 00:45:46,640
Speaker 2: Nice so that he didn't have one.

1017
00:45:46,840 --> 00:45:48,480
Speaker 1: He didn't have a card on anxiety, but he's got

1018
00:45:48,520 --> 00:45:51,200
Speaker 1: a card on calm. Oh yeah, which is the opposite

1019
00:45:51,200 --> 00:45:53,040
Speaker 1: of anxiety, which I thought might be very helpful for

1020
00:45:53,120 --> 00:45:56,080
Speaker 1: some people who are anxious or who are listening to

1021
00:45:56,160 --> 00:45:57,520
Speaker 1: this and struggle with anxiety.

1022
00:45:57,800 --> 00:45:58,520
Speaker 2: So that's what he said.

1023
00:45:59,800 --> 00:46:02,840
Speaker 1: So much of our culture is directed to stimulating and

1024
00:46:02,960 --> 00:46:07,440
Speaker 1: exciting us. The wires know that turmoil is always around

1025
00:46:07,480 --> 00:46:10,320
Speaker 1: the corner, and they have come to fear and sense

1026
00:46:10,440 --> 00:46:11,000
Speaker 1: its approach.

1027
00:46:12,360 --> 00:46:13,680
Speaker 2: That's why they nurture such a.

1028
00:46:13,760 --> 00:46:18,880
Speaker 1: Strong commitment to calm. A quiet evening feels like an achievement.

1029
00:46:19,840 --> 00:46:24,239
Speaker 1: A day without anxiety is something to be celebrated. They

1030
00:46:24,280 --> 00:46:27,799
Speaker 1: are not afraid of having a somewhat boring time. Things

1031
00:46:27,880 --> 00:46:31,880
Speaker 1: could be so much worse, and they certainly will be again.

1032
00:46:33,160 --> 00:46:36,120
Speaker 1: The whys see calm as a skill, a learned quality.

1033
00:46:36,760 --> 00:46:40,200
Speaker 1: It's not a lucky gift of temperament. They take note

1034
00:46:40,280 --> 00:46:43,320
Speaker 1: of the things that quieten them, whether it's watching clouds

1035
00:46:43,360 --> 00:46:46,719
Speaker 1: move across the sky, going for a walk, reading about

1036
00:46:46,760 --> 00:46:49,800
Speaker 1: disasters that occurred long ago, or just observing the buds

1037
00:46:49,840 --> 00:46:53,440
Speaker 1: on a tree. They like things that invite a radically

1038
00:46:53,520 --> 00:46:57,200
Speaker 1: different perspective and can thus make their own travels feel

1039
00:46:57,400 --> 00:47:00,320
Speaker 1: less impressive. Mountains, pictures of dirts.

1040
00:47:01,360 --> 00:47:03,480
Speaker 2: Sorry, pictures of deserts, is what I meant to say,

1041
00:47:03,840 --> 00:47:04,880
Speaker 2: Pictures of dirts.

1042
00:47:05,239 --> 00:47:10,560
Speaker 1: If anyone's good, pictures of mountains, pictures of deserts.

1043
00:47:13,120 --> 00:47:14,000
Speaker 3: Who doesn't love dirt?

1044
00:47:15,480 --> 00:47:16,520
Speaker 2: Pictures of dirts.

1045
00:47:16,920 --> 00:47:19,160
Speaker 4: We'll put a picture of dirt attach to this podcast,

1046
00:47:19,400 --> 00:47:20,360
Speaker 4: our favorite dirt.

1047
00:47:20,880 --> 00:47:24,520
Speaker 1: And spury and crumbs across the paving stone. They don't

1048
00:47:24,600 --> 00:47:27,200
Speaker 1: just wait for it for chance to bring such things

1049
00:47:27,239 --> 00:47:30,640
Speaker 1: to their attention. They plan for serenity when they can.

1050
00:47:31,960 --> 00:47:34,240
Speaker 3: So I thought that was pretty cool. That's calm, Actually,

1051
00:47:34,320 --> 00:47:36,920
Speaker 3: that's that's that's so close to what we touched on.

1052
00:47:38,160 --> 00:47:40,200
Speaker 4: You know, like you're on holiday, like thinking, like when

1053
00:47:40,200 --> 00:47:42,920
Speaker 4: you've got the moment of calm and you when you're

1054
00:47:43,000 --> 00:47:45,680
Speaker 4: like I should be doing something, but the wise.

1055
00:47:45,480 --> 00:47:52,440
Speaker 2: Know that these coming this moment, you've got a ship. Anyway,

1056
00:47:52,560 --> 00:47:55,320
Speaker 2: that was the first episode of Wine and Snacks. I

1057
00:47:55,360 --> 00:47:58,520
Speaker 2: hope everyone enjoyed it for pleasure. Polished off the wine quickly.

1058
00:47:59,320 --> 00:48:01,279
Speaker 3: I think we probably get two bottles of white.

1059
00:48:01,320 --> 00:48:02,279
Speaker 2: Well we all have to drive home.

1060
00:48:02,440 --> 00:48:05,799
Speaker 4: Yeah, uber ubers next week, what do you think? Yeah,

1061
00:48:05,800 --> 00:48:07,680
Speaker 4: I think I think we should. Like, I feel like

1062
00:48:07,680 --> 00:48:09,759
Speaker 4: I'd never drink forty five minutes there, which is a shame.

1063
00:48:10,200 --> 00:48:14,240
Speaker 2: Well, you're knocked him up off pretty quickly.

1064
00:48:14,880 --> 00:48:15,759
Speaker 3: To see you next time.