Speaker 1: Hello, my name's Santasha Nabananga Bamblet. I'm a proud Order
Speaker 1: Order Kerni Whoalbury and a Wadery woman. And before we
Speaker 1: get started on She's on the Money podcast, I would
Speaker 1: like to acknowledge the traditional custodians of the land of
Speaker 1: which this podcast is recorded on a wondery country, acknowledging
Speaker 1: the elders, the ancestors and the next generation coming through
Speaker 1: as this podcast is about connecting, empowering, knowledge sharing and
Speaker 1: the storytelling of you to make a difference for today
Speaker 1: and lasting impact for tomorrow.
Speaker 2: Let's get into it.
Speaker 3: She's on the Money. She's on the Money.
Speaker 2: Hello, and welcome to She's on the Money, the podcast
Speaker 2: that makes personal finance fun, especially on Fridays. It's our
Speaker 2: favorite day of the week because we get the team
Speaker 2: together today to celebrate you, our incredible She's on the
Speaker 2: Money community today, mister, she is going to be taking
Speaker 2: us through her favorite money wins from the community. Beck
Speaker 2: has a few broke tips for us. So believe you
Speaker 2: might have borrowed or as justin I say, liberated one
Speaker 2: from someone else. We're going to be helping to answer
Speaker 2: a juicy money dilemma which This week is all about
Speaker 2: taxes and investing, and we're also going to unpack something
Speaker 2: you slid into our dams about. This week, we're chatting
Speaker 2: about navigating in laws that are overstepping when it comes
Speaker 2: to presents for your kids. I don't know how I
Speaker 2: feel about that one.
Speaker 4: I'm excited.
Speaker 5: I don't know if I am hard always what did
Speaker 5: you say? Just in law stuff? Anything you ever hear,
Speaker 5: it's always in laws.
Speaker 2: See. I always feel like all of the Reddit threads
Speaker 2: are like, oh my mother in law x Y said.
Speaker 2: I feel like I did one thing good and one
Speaker 2: thing bad when I got married. I married into a
Speaker 2: family that had a brilliant mother in law. But I
Speaker 2: also married into a family that runs.
Speaker 4: Yeah, well you can't like it. You can't have it all.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, you can't have it all. But like, what
Speaker 2: do you mean you're still doing marathons ondays? They go
Speaker 2: for mornings. Yeah, I just meet them at the cafe. Yes. Yeah.
Speaker 2: And now we have a baby, you guys go on
Speaker 2: and run. I'll look after the babies at home.
Speaker 4: Is that why you have the baby. I would have
Speaker 4: a baby just so I could be like, I can't run.
Speaker 4: You guys say.
Speaker 2: Week and I was pregnant, like there was just yeah
Speaker 2: exactly or anyway, how have your weeks been, miss Beck?
Speaker 2: Say ed, what have you been up to?
Speaker 4: It's been a really nice week.
Speaker 6: My family came to Melbourne for like the well, my
Speaker 6: mom came once, but my younger brothers hadn't like come
Speaker 6: to visits o c.
Speaker 4: Seven years ago. It was really really nice.
Speaker 6: They met all my friends and like, it's so weeks.
Speaker 6: I have the whole world here, a whole like family
Speaker 6: here and obviously my family in Sydney as well, but
Speaker 6: the two haven't really integrated. Yeah, like not meshs in
Speaker 6: They haven't. They literally haven't, And so it was really
Speaker 6: nice for my two worlds to come together and be like, oh,
Speaker 6: there's this, like there's a whole shit.
Speaker 2: Isn't making up having your girlfriend?
Speaker 6: Everyone's real, everyone exists and everyone gets along so well.
Speaker 6: And it was just like it was a perfect weekend.
Speaker 6: It was really really nice.
Speaker 2: Love that. Yeah.
Speaker 6: Other than that, nothing really Heckedy, it's been going on,
Speaker 6: just good living life, live love, laugh, live love laugh.
Speaker 5: What about you, Jess, I I mean a fight with
Speaker 5: my property managers juicy juicy, Yes again, I fear I
Speaker 5: am being petty. I don't I know I'm being petty.
Speaker 2: Okay, okay, okay, is this like one of those I am?
Speaker 2: I the ass whole moment? All right, tell us the story.
Speaker 5: So our rent, I think our least or like our
Speaker 5: month starts on like the fifteenth or something. But in
Speaker 5: our lease it says your rent will be ebbitted on
Speaker 5: the twelfth, which is totally fine. We find the least.
Speaker 5: We knew that we agreed to that.
Speaker 2: That's really annoying because you get paid on the fifteenth.
Speaker 5: It's fine. I have it all set up so it
Speaker 5: like cash.
Speaker 2: I was like, yeah, but that would be so frustrated.
Speaker 5: A little irritating, but it's fine. We work around it.
Speaker 5: We knew that when we signed it. So this month
Speaker 5: they took our money out on the tenth or they
Speaker 5: attempt it's an autod debit. They attempted to auto debbit
Speaker 5: and it bounced because the money wasn't in there because,
Speaker 5: as I said, auto transfers. Yes. Now, when we signed
Speaker 5: our least, a little bit of context, it said that
Speaker 5: all of the payment methods incurred a fee. And I
Speaker 5: said to them, because I used to work in property,
Speaker 5: I was like, you actually in Victoria are legally required
Speaker 5: to provide me at least one payment method option that
Speaker 5: does not incur a fee, like that's the loss. And
Speaker 5: they were like, oh, yes, okay.
Speaker 2: I would not want to mess with Jess.
Speaker 5: I read the t's and c's people anyway, so they
Speaker 5: at the time they're like, okay, you can direct debit it.
Speaker 5: That is the method that doesn't incur the feet. So
Speaker 5: when this auto transfer didn't go through on the tenth,
Speaker 5: I got a text from our property manager saying, hey, like,
Speaker 5: you need to manually process it because the direct debit
Speaker 5: didn't work. There's gonna be like a ninety cent fee
Speaker 5: for it. And I said, why am I paying a
Speaker 5: ninety cent fee? And she said, well, it's only you know,
Speaker 5: the method that you're using to pay in curs a
Speaker 5: fee to release the money. And I said, okay, but
Speaker 5: I like the money didn't come out because you tried
Speaker 5: to take it out early, Like if you've taken it
Speaker 5: out on the day that we legally agree to in
Speaker 5: this binding document, the money was available. And she basically
Speaker 5: tried to say, oh no, well, the you know that
Speaker 5: it's just the system, Like the system's work, you have
Speaker 5: to do it it's the only thing is available that's really weird.
Speaker 2: But you're in breach of your contract. Correct.
Speaker 5: So I paid her like straight away. I transferred the
Speaker 5: money minus the ninety cent fee, and so and so
Speaker 5: I got a text last night from my proberty manager saying, hey,
Speaker 5: like you're we need ninety cents to release it to
Speaker 5: the like owners. And I said, that's a business expense.
Speaker 5: I'm not paying the ninety cent fee. And they said, well,
Speaker 5: you should have the money available in your account four
Speaker 5: days before the money is due.
Speaker 4: To literally, we're alle her.
Speaker 5: And my exact words were, can you please show me
Speaker 5: where in my lease it says the money will be
Speaker 5: debitted on the tenth of the month. And I got
Speaker 5: no response, and.
Speaker 2: I forgot no respond thing since.
Speaker 5: And I feel I know that I'm kind of being
Speaker 5: as because can I pay the ninety cents obviously, but
Speaker 5: the principle of the matter, I get that don't want
Speaker 5: to pay it because I'm not in the wrong.
Speaker 2: I was like, ould check pay the ninety cents.
Speaker 5: I feel like, I'm sure there's property managers listening to
Speaker 5: this right now, being like you are why I hate
Speaker 5: my job, but we are good tenants, like We've never
Speaker 5: ever missed our brant. It's always come out on time.
Speaker 5: We look after the house like.
Speaker 2: I've got no doubt, and like it's so frustrating because
Speaker 2: like that property manager is probably going to be like,
Speaker 2: screw it, I'll just pay the ninety cents to her
Speaker 2: out of my own pocket because it's the system, not them.
Speaker 2: But at the same time, but at the same time,
Speaker 2: it's not your problem. And as the property manager, they
Speaker 2: should be making sure that the systems work for both
Speaker 2: the landlords and the tenants. Because if I owned an
Speaker 2: investment property and I found out that the people I
Speaker 2: was paying to manage my property were trying to take
Speaker 2: money off my tenants early, I'd be pretty pissed off totally.
Speaker 2: I'd be like, I'm sorry, that's not how we do
Speaker 2: business here. That's not how that works. Like you might
Speaker 2: also like, let's dive a little bit deeper into this,
Speaker 2: because I am, if not anything crazy. What if you
Speaker 2: had that money invested, that's two days of interest that
Speaker 2: you're missing out on because they tried to take your
Speaker 2: money early.
Speaker 5: Well, that's why I have it like it moves over
Speaker 5: a day before, so it's like no matter what time
Speaker 5: they try to take it out on the twelfth. It's
Speaker 5: always we move it over on the eleventh. But I
Speaker 5: wanted to sitting in my account as long as possible.
Speaker 5: So I'm like, well, that's interest that I'm that's literally
Speaker 5: why I do it that.
Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, so it's literally that Isn't that insane to
Speaker 2: think that? I don't know, I just feel like that's
Speaker 2: so sneaky of them to take it early.
Speaker 4: It's such just do that was like it was a Friday.
Speaker 2: Well, I don't know.
Speaker 5: They like, if it's an automatic system, it should just
Speaker 5: auto debit on whatever debt during any I don't know.
Speaker 5: Part of me is like, just suck it up and
Speaker 5: it's fine, But then part of me is like, no,
Speaker 5: stick it to the man.
Speaker 4: Yeah, no, I agree with You're in the right.
Speaker 5: And this is how like people get taken advantage of
Speaker 5: exactly the little things go and then all of a sudden,
Speaker 5: your rent's being jacked up six hundred percent I don't
Speaker 5: know exactly.
Speaker 6: And before you know it, they'll be like, oh, you
Speaker 6: just have to pay a small fee of like fourteen dollars,
Speaker 6: and then it's like you just you know, you just
Speaker 6: want to you want to stop it. Right there and
Speaker 6: be like, hey, I know the rules and I know
Speaker 6: that this is not allowed. So whether it's ninety cents
Speaker 6: or ninety dollars, you do.
Speaker 2: I feel like this is e learning though for everybody
Speaker 2: in the community. One, you legally are entitled to a
Speaker 2: payment method that doesn't incur fee in that'sia of the state,
Speaker 2: but like worth looking into for other states really, because
Speaker 2: those little things do add up. Also, direct debit. I
Speaker 2: love a direct abbit. I love not thinking about it.
Speaker 2: My phone villain stuff is on direct ebbit and I
Speaker 2: always get a text saying, oh, on this date, we're
Speaker 2: going to be taking it out of your thing, and
Speaker 2: I'm like, great, I'm an adhd girly. If you send
Speaker 2: me an invoice and say hey, v this is oh wing,
Speaker 2: I'll be like fantastic, of course I'll pay you. And
Speaker 2: then I shut my phone and I've forgotten that I
Speaker 2: had to do anything, and I'm like, do you want
Speaker 2: to go to maccuz Like I am a goldfish. So
Speaker 2: the idea that you can direct debit things and set
Speaker 2: things up is perfect, but now they're just causing you
Speaker 2: even more.
Speaker 5: Admin Jess, So why am I the asshole? It's probably
Speaker 5: probably managed, being like, yes you are. I'm sorry.
Speaker 2: It's just I'm making your job hard. But I'm also
Speaker 2: just asking to be treated with respect and taking my
Speaker 2: money early is not respectful.
Speaker 6: Four days arbitrary, like you had to have the money
Speaker 6: in there four days before processing?
Speaker 4: Where did that come from all of a sudden?
Speaker 5: And that's what I four days. Yeah, that's what they
Speaker 5: tried to say to me.
Speaker 2: They were like, what if I don't have the money
Speaker 2: four days book exactly? Just tell her you get paid
Speaker 2: on the eleventh, Be like sorry. And if they ask
Speaker 2: for an employment contract, call me and it'd be like,
Speaker 2: I will make an employment contract to make a point,
Speaker 2: be like, just didn't have the money because she doesn't
Speaker 2: get paid till the day before. And that's why I
Speaker 2: sheel so comfortable with the twelve being her payment date.
Speaker 5: I was thinking about this and I was like, what's
Speaker 5: the outcome here? Like either ibend or dybend. And my
Speaker 5: partner was like, what happens?
Speaker 2: What does your partner say? Because I feel like he's
Speaker 2: a little bit more passive like you are. You are
Speaker 2: a lot like no, I'm going to stick it to
Speaker 2: the man, and your partner is going to be like
Speaker 2: jes pay the ninety cents.
Speaker 5: I stormed into his study through the door open last
Speaker 5: night when I was texting him and I was like,
Speaker 5: I'm not paying.
Speaker 2: And you're like paying, what give me some content?
Speaker 5: Like I've no idea what you're talking about. And he's like, Okay,
Speaker 5: that's cool, and he said, what, like what happens, Like
Speaker 5: if you don't pay and they go you have to
Speaker 5: pay and you don't like what happens? And I was like, well, theoretically,
Speaker 5: worst case scenario, it goes into a reason, it goes
Speaker 5: to VCA. And he's like, would you go to VCA
Speaker 5: over ninety cents? And I was like, I reckon. I would, Yes,
Speaker 5: I reckon the people.
Speaker 2: You know what this is telling me about me? Yes,
Speaker 2: this is telling me she doesn't have enough work.
Speaker 6: You're yeah, you have done nothing wrong. Technically, would all
Speaker 6: be on your side? They would be on your side.
Speaker 2: I will pay your ninety cents?
Speaker 5: Is giving ninety suing the dude for a dollar?
Speaker 2: Yeah, that was pretty iconic, though.
Speaker 4: I don't know what happened there, but I don't know
Speaker 4: if that's on.
Speaker 2: The same page anyway, Moving on, it's just agreed. You've
Speaker 2: been in the Facebook group this week. So I have
Speaker 2: been replying to a few of the money wins because
Speaker 2: I've been like, hey, that slip. What have you pulled
Speaker 2: out of the group to share with the community this week?
Speaker 5: All right, starting off with a little bit of a
Speaker 5: self serving one, but it just brought me a lot
Speaker 5: of joy from Maddie, who said, after months of binging
Speaker 5: the podcast, she's officially listened to every single episode.
Speaker 2: Wow, we have one hundreds, we have more than six
Speaker 2: hundred episodes.
Speaker 5: Yes, wow, that's impressive, simply a matter of months. Well done, Maddie.
Speaker 5: It is really exciting to me that, like we can
Speaker 5: obviously see on the back end people listening, like what
Speaker 5: episodes people listen to? Yeah, yeah, crazy that people still
Speaker 5: listen to episode number one, and like quite a lot
Speaker 5: of people.
Speaker 2: Really embarrassing too, So yeah, maybe don't do that. But
Speaker 2: if you've done that, thank you. I really appreciate it.
Speaker 2: But oh I can't do it. I don't know if
Speaker 2: you know about this editing process, but I don't listen
Speaker 2: to any of our podcasts back. That's why I'm so
Speaker 2: grateful to have our producer, Emma, and we've got an
Speaker 2: audio engineer. They do all of it. Because if you
Speaker 2: ask me to listen to my own voice, I basically
Speaker 2: just I throw it. I can't. I can't do it.
Speaker 2: It gives me the heavy GB save, which is hilarious
Speaker 2: because my entire career is currently built on my voice.
Speaker 2: But I won't have a bar of it. I'm like, ew, David.
Speaker 5: Ooh, well done, Maddie and anyone else who's listening, can't
Speaker 5: wait for you to catch up here. Next, I've got
Speaker 5: a money in from Candace who said she went to
Speaker 5: Savers and got her toddler an entire twenty five piece
Speaker 5: summer wardrobe, squirts, t shirts, shorts, skirts, cardies, the whole shebang.
Speaker 5: Some of it was brand new with tags, and it
Speaker 5: was under seventy dollars for the lot.
Speaker 4: Wow.
Speaker 5: I just wanted to say, there's heaps of kids stuff
Speaker 5: at the up shop, Like, I have a friend who
Speaker 5: also loves to thrift, and sometimes if I find something
Speaker 5: really cute for her kids, I'll just buy it, like
Speaker 5: you wash it. I don't think that's weird.
Speaker 2: I bought literally, my mum and I were walking down
Speaker 2: the main street on the weekend and we walked past
Speaker 2: the oup shop and we can't not go in an
Speaker 2: up shop like I always have to look. And I
Speaker 2: bought a new Bonds onesie, like it's just bonds, but
Speaker 2: I had a brand new tag on it and it
Speaker 2: was three dollars again exactly, and it was real cute.
Speaker 2: And I was like, that's Harve size and you always
Speaker 2: need more onesies. So money win, well done.
Speaker 5: Next, I've got a money win from at Tinneil, who
Speaker 5: said she finally took the leap to invest the ten
Speaker 5: dollars that she had gotten from cheers EA's when she
Speaker 5: signed up with the SotM code. She looked at it
Speaker 5: the other day and it's gone up by five cents.
Speaker 2: Your money that you didn't make making money for you
Speaker 2: and you're going to get rich, small fish.
Speaker 5: But I didn't spend a cent and I already have
Speaker 5: a return.
Speaker 2: Have you invested anymore? How's that going extra? You don't
Speaker 2: have to put extra in? Have you been like shuffling
Speaker 2: things around? I know that you hadn't invested the full
Speaker 2: amount yet.
Speaker 6: I am well, actually currently it's all in one. I
Speaker 6: believe it's an e F T the ETF.
Speaker 4: Thank you. Yes, it's an inn in the ETF.
Speaker 6: This I love this ffos, isn't it yeah, meaning I
Speaker 6: spent it.
Speaker 2: We're getting there.
Speaker 5: And next I've got a money in from Renee, who
Speaker 5: said she's another person slowly making away through the podcast
Speaker 5: from the beginning, but she listened to a specific episode.
Speaker 5: It was the Money Diary called is It Worth It?
Speaker 5: Let Me Work It from twenty twenty, and that Diaris
Speaker 5: mentioned that whenever she decides not to make an impulsive purchase,
Speaker 5: she transfers the amount of money that she would have
Speaker 5: spent straight into her savings. So Renee listened to the
Speaker 5: episode started to implement that, and she said she's saved
Speaker 5: an extra one hundred and forty bucks in a week.
Speaker 4: Howry?
Speaker 2: Is that crazy? I also really love that people are
Speaker 2: one listening to our old episodes. But there's always like
Speaker 2: really tiny tips and tricks throughout all of our episodes
Speaker 2: that might resonate with you or might not like that
Speaker 2: might not have worked for somebody else, but she's like,
Speaker 2: oh my gosh, this really works for me. I love
Speaker 2: that you're picking up so many things from old content. Also,
Speaker 2: can we just like appreciate how good I used to
Speaker 2: be at NAM Yeah? I used to try so hard.
Speaker 5: Yeah, And I'm sure that director is really excited to
Speaker 5: know that her little tip helped someone else too. And
Speaker 5: then lastly, this week, I have money in from Madeleine
Speaker 5: who said she sold some stuff on Facebook marketplace over
Speaker 5: the weekend. She made an extra seven hundred dollars, putting
Speaker 5: it towards her daughter's Christmas present.
Speaker 2: Seven hundred bucks.
Speaker 5: I said it last week or the week before, I
Speaker 5: don't remember. It's spring cleaning season. People sell it, sell
Speaker 5: it when you clean it out because you'd be amazed
Speaker 5: at what people will buy.
Speaker 2: So I did this last season, and I mean, let's
Speaker 2: be honest, I was also pregnant, so I didn't fit
Speaker 2: in a lot of my outfits, so it felt productive
Speaker 2: during that period of time. But I turned all of
Speaker 2: my coat hangers around the opposite way in my wardrobe
Speaker 2: so that I could start tracking what I was actually
Speaker 2: reaching for and what I hadn't touched. And that was
Speaker 2: like a year ago. And I just went through my
Speaker 2: wardrobe over the weekend and pulled out so many things
Speaker 2: that I thought were cute that I actually don't wear
Speaker 2: because it's been more than twelve months since I've even
Speaker 2: reached for them, because the code hang is still around
Speaker 2: the wrong way. So that's a tip. That you could
Speaker 2: definitely implement if you're someone like me who I struggled
Speaker 2: to separate from items. Sometimes I'm like, oh, but I
Speaker 2: might wear it, Victoria, it's been in your wardrobe for
Speaker 2: two years, untouched, Like, you don't need that.
Speaker 5: Once you sell a few things, it's like a high
Speaker 5: You're like, what else can you are?
Speaker 2: A deep pop queen though, like and you also like
Speaker 2: style your items to a tea. It was so funny. Actually,
Speaker 2: I was looking up Scanlan Theodore on Deep Hop because
Speaker 2: those dresses are my favorite, but they are so expensive,
Speaker 2: and I was like, that looks familiar and it was
Speaker 2: I was like, not what I'm looking for, but pop
Speaker 2: off just I clicked it and I was like, oh,
Speaker 2: that looks really cute. That looks like Jess. It's Jess.
Speaker 5: That is hilarious.
Speaker 4: I know exactly.
Speaker 5: The rest hasn't sold yet. Once it's going cheap moneymaze it.
Speaker 5: That's all the money winds I've got this week.
Speaker 2: I love it.
Speaker 4: Great, great, great winds.
Speaker 2: Alright, what broke tips have you got to bring to
Speaker 2: the tape?
Speaker 4: Okay, so did you say the word lubrated before?
Speaker 2: Did I get that right?
Speaker 5: No? That lubrated. I liberated, liberated, liberated, sorry uberrated. Liberated
Speaker 5: might be something else. I feel like that's something very different. Liberated.
Speaker 6: Well, I was gonna say, great that you've mentioned lubrated
Speaker 6: because this is my tip for the week, but I
Speaker 6: will actually cut.
Speaker 4: That one out.
Speaker 6: So anyway, let's go straight into the two from the community.
Speaker 6: The first one comes from of our listeners who sent
Speaker 6: me a photo of an advert from her library. So
Speaker 6: it's called library Things. I think this is Queensland, this
Speaker 6: is Townsville. But I'm sure how did you say Queensland Queensland?
Speaker 5: She said Queensland, Queensland.
Speaker 2: Maybe they say lubrated in queens.
Speaker 4: That's where we got it from.
Speaker 6: Yes, so Queensland, in Townsville in particular, but I'm sure
Speaker 6: there are other places around Australia. So this place you can,
Speaker 6: you know, obviously, not only borrow books. You can get
Speaker 6: board games, science equipment, musical instruments, sewing equipment, which I
Speaker 6: think board games.
Speaker 4: That's it.
Speaker 6: It's so cool, Like we have mentioned things like sewing
Speaker 6: equipment and stuff like that before, but like science equipment,
Speaker 6: I didn't know there was a thing in board games.
Speaker 2: I think it's incredible, Like if you have questions what
Speaker 2: are you doing with science equipment at home? Like why
Speaker 2: do you think borrow?
Speaker 6: Mainly for you know, because right now it's it's holidays,
Speaker 6: school holidays everywhere?
Speaker 4: Or is it just in Victoria.
Speaker 2: I wouldn't even know where to start. The only science
Speaker 2: thing that I know of is mixing by cub with
Speaker 2: vinegar and creating a volcano is timeless in school, maybe like.
Speaker 4: The stars or something.
Speaker 6: There was today a telescope, Yes, exactly, I could. And
Speaker 6: the other reason because there's a kid in this photo
Speaker 6: with a telescope.
Speaker 2: That's perfect.
Speaker 6: Board games if you just want to entertain your kids,
Speaker 6: love a board game, love for board game. Oh my goodness,
Speaker 6: don't get me starting on the board games. Okay, I
Speaker 6: love Gatan.
Speaker 2: We have mentioned this, but we're having a night soon,
Speaker 2: so you'll have to Yeah. Yeah, yeah, goodness.
Speaker 4: I'm really really, genuinely really excited for that.
Speaker 2: Okay, all right, it's on.
Speaker 1: It's on. Yes.
Speaker 6: The sexual comes from Michelle, who suggests waiting till February
Speaker 6: to buy your yearly diary or calendar because they have.
Speaker 4: To die socially.
Speaker 7: Yeah.
Speaker 6: I think it's great because January and if you want
Speaker 6: to even just write it on like a notepad and
Speaker 6: wait until you get your diary or calendar and then
Speaker 6: enter all the things.
Speaker 5: I don't know.
Speaker 7: I don't know.
Speaker 4: I don't really use diaries calendar.
Speaker 5: Sometimes they're like ninety percent off, like they go Yeah.
Speaker 5: I think they get to a point where businesses are
Speaker 5: just like get them out of here, no one's going
Speaker 5: to buy them now.
Speaker 2: If I'm being honest, I am the person that will
Speaker 2: wait till February to buy my calendar. Yeah, and then
Speaker 2: I use it for a month and then forget it exists. Yes,
Speaker 2: me too, so motivated to use it, and they'll go
Speaker 2: down to Kiki k and buy a really esthetic one
Speaker 2: and it'll be like this is my year, yes, and
Speaker 2: then it's not my year, and so I make the
Speaker 2: resolution to make it my year the next year. Totally
Speaker 2: do that on repeat, and I have di for the
Speaker 2: last thirty three years.
Speaker 6: Absolutely so really like that day when you go out
Speaker 6: and you buy a calendar that or a diary or
Speaker 6: a journal, that's when you spring.
Speaker 2: It just feels good.
Speaker 6: It feels really good, but only the strongest of us
Speaker 6: and we stare it.
Speaker 2: Follow up, I just have to use my phone calendar.
Speaker 2: Like at the end of the day having outlook it
Speaker 2: just it beats it. I'm just not a paper diary girlie.
Speaker 6: No, I mean the thoughts there, and I think that's
Speaker 6: all that matters, isn't it. Okay, This next one comes
Speaker 6: from me aka producer, our producer. You liberated it from Emma.
Speaker 2: I liberated it, not liberted it, liberated it from Memo.
Speaker 4: Not yet.
Speaker 6: So this one is for all of my Meredith girlies
Speaker 6: and boys and they them's. It's for if you're like
Speaker 6: me and you don't want to be spending like, what
Speaker 6: is it like four hundred and fifty dollars now on.
Speaker 4: A crazy ticket to Meredith.
Speaker 2: You are not getting me to spend four hundred and
Speaker 2: fifty dollars to wear gum boots? Absolutely not, absolutely not.
Speaker 2: You want me definitely. No, we're not gramping, like why glamp?
Speaker 2: Just go to a hotel. Just go to a hotel.
Speaker 2: And that sounds so entitled. But even the money aside,
Speaker 2: I'm going to just stay home.
Speaker 4: Yeah, that's true. Can't afford it.
Speaker 2: No, it's not even about affording it glamping. Why did
Speaker 2: you pack your entire life up?
Speaker 4: I do agree.
Speaker 2: You have all of those creature comforts, which I totally
Speaker 2: get I could have just stayed at home. I could
Speaker 2: have just stayed home and not packed.
Speaker 6: It is the worst part of Meredith is knowing that
Speaker 6: you all you want to do at the end of
Speaker 6: the night or the end of the early early morning
Speaker 6: is go home to your.
Speaker 4: Bed, but you have to lay in the.
Speaker 5: Dirty from everything. Is that way everyone camps like is
Speaker 5: it here nowhere? Yeah?
Speaker 6: It is quite fat and also like you want to
Speaker 6: be driving around at that time, you know, to go
Speaker 6: back to your hotel.
Speaker 2: I do feel like I should preface this as well,
Speaker 2: because I think if you've not met me properly, you
Speaker 2: might go, oh, Victoria hasn't tried camping. She doesn't get it. Guys,
Speaker 2: was a scout. Not only was I a scout, I
Speaker 2: was a venturer. I was a very cool teenager. I
Speaker 2: did jamboree, I did cubbery. I did all of those things.
Speaker 2: Like I did all of the camping things, all of
Speaker 2: the hiking things. I have the experience to say, stay
Speaker 2: at home, scream cool. I was actually there called thank you,
Speaker 2: I'll say the captain of the debating team. So so
Speaker 2: she didn't see that coming.
Speaker 4: Oh that's very I did not see that coming. So
Speaker 4: I usually use.
Speaker 6: I'm sure like those who go to Meredith probably are
Speaker 6: in the Meredith ticket by swap cell groups and things
Speaker 6: like that, but I did not.
Speaker 4: Know about this.
Speaker 6: It's called Auntie's Unofficial Ticket Swap, and I did this
Speaker 6: a few years ago, but it was very, very very
Speaker 6: by chance. It was a complete fluke. I got really
Speaker 6: cheap tickets at the last minute, and I've been trying
Speaker 6: to do that every year since end up not going.
Speaker 6: But if you go to Auntie's un Official ticket Swap,
Speaker 6: you wait till the last minute, maybe a couple days
Speaker 6: in advance. People start getting stressed, like I can't go anymore.
Speaker 6: I need to sell this ticket, and they tend to
Speaker 6: give them away very cheap.
Speaker 2: That's a good money win, because you don't want to
Speaker 2: be stuck with a five hundred dollars ticket that you
Speaker 2: can't use, knowing that somebody else really wanted to use it.
Speaker 4: Got some cash exactly exactly.
Speaker 6: So keep an eye out and don't be like me.
Speaker 6: The last couple of years, I couldn't go just because
Speaker 6: I was waiting. I would wait until the Saturday of Meredith.
Speaker 6: You're in sa nighttime and the Sunday morning be like Hey, guys,
Speaker 6: I'm still I still will take a ticket.
Speaker 4: Have you got four hours?
Speaker 6: Not yet, because I am going to wait to get So.
Speaker 2: Should we do a little call out right now and say,
Speaker 2: if you're planning on selling your ticket, peck might like them.
Speaker 4: I might like them. I'll pay reasonable price. That is
Speaker 4: my book to week.
Speaker 2: I love that. I feel like this has been very
Speaker 2: well rounded, very lubricated. Let's go to a really quick
Speaker 2: break on the flip side. We're going to have a
Speaker 2: chat that probably only I'm interested in, and that's about
Speaker 2: taxes and investing. Then we're going to unpack something that
Speaker 2: you're slead into our DMS about. This week, we talked
Speaker 2: about navigating in laws who overstep when it comes to
Speaker 2: purchasing kids' presence. So don't go anywhere.
Speaker 5: Welcome back, everybody. Let's take a listen to this week's
Speaker 5: money dilemma.
Speaker 2: Hi, there, have you got a money dilemma you just
Speaker 2: can't solve? The She's on the Money team is here
Speaker 2: to help. Every week, we tackle your dilemmas, both big
Speaker 2: and small, to answer your most burning money, career and
Speaker 2: life questions. To get involved, simply head to our website
Speaker 2: and leave us a short voice recording and you might
Speaker 2: just find yourself on the show. Now, let's take a
Speaker 2: listen to this week's Money Dilemma.
Speaker 7: Hi, Ve Beck and Jess. I just want to say
Speaker 7: I'm a huge fan of the podcast and I have
Speaker 7: a money dilemma and it's about micro investing. So I
Speaker 7: currently have two microinvesting platforms set up, but I'd like
Speaker 7: to move approximately two thousand dollars from one platform to
Speaker 7: the other. And I just wanted to find out what
Speaker 7: the tax implications were of this or anything else that
Speaker 7: I would need to keep in mind. Thank you so much. Bye.
Speaker 2: I feel like this is a really good question because
Speaker 2: so many people go from micro investing platforms and then
Speaker 2: graduate to a bigger platform or they just want to
Speaker 2: switch and change. And like, Jess, I know you and
Speaker 2: I have been on spaceship and we've both had rais
Speaker 2: and like we kind of like mess around with lots
Speaker 2: when we're finding our feet in investing land. So the
Speaker 2: unfortunate thing is, while you said you want to move
Speaker 2: two thousand dollars, I don't know how much of that
Speaker 2: is profit. So it's quite challenging to give advice on that.
Speaker 2: Let's pretend for a hot second, though, that it's just
Speaker 2: two grands straight, there's going to be a few things
Speaker 2: to take into consideration. So the first thing is has
Speaker 2: that money been invested for more than twelve months. If so,
Speaker 2: you're in a good position because yes, while you'll still
Speaker 2: have to pay capital gains tax on that, the profit
Speaker 2: will be taxed at fifty percent your marginal tax rate.
Speaker 2: If you own an asset for less than twelve months,
Speaker 2: make a profit and then sell, the profit will be
Speaker 2: tax at your marginal tax rate. And we pay tax
Speaker 2: on money that we earn. In saying that, if it's
Speaker 2: two thousand dollars that has been I guess roundups, So
Speaker 2: maybe you've rounded up every single purchase and it's been
Speaker 2: over the last twelve months, and yeah, you haven't been
Speaker 2: invested for that long. But like most of that two
Speaker 2: thousand dollars is actually your own cash that you've put in.
Speaker 2: There's not going to be any tax payable on that
Speaker 2: because it's not profit. It's just your cash that's been
Speaker 2: put to the side. You actually already paid tax on
Speaker 2: that when it came into your bank account. But we
Speaker 2: are only paying tax on money that we earned. I
Speaker 2: think so many times people are really stressed because they go,
Speaker 2: oh my god, jesz, like I've got two grand invested.
Speaker 2: What am I going to be taxed? Or is that
Speaker 2: two thousand dollars profit? Or is that two thousand dollars
Speaker 2: that like you chipped away and built out, But it
Speaker 2: hasn't been invested for long enough to have been able
Speaker 2: to compound yet, So therefore you're not in that tricky
Speaker 2: of a situation. Unfortunately, when you're selling and moving from
Speaker 2: a micro investing platform because of the way that you
Speaker 2: own that asset, that asset is owned in the same
Speaker 2: way that an ETF is, and that's under a trust,
Speaker 2: which means you can't just transfer it to another platform
Speaker 2: without triggering a CGT event. So when you trigger a
Speaker 2: CDT event, it means you have to pay some tax. Sometimes,
Speaker 2: like let's pretend you owned and I always use a
Speaker 2: nab share. I don't know why, but let's say you
Speaker 2: own a nab share direct through like comseec jess and
Speaker 2: you wanted to move it to another platform. If you
Speaker 2: transferred it, you would do this is probably getting a
Speaker 2: little bit technical, but like we like to know, you
Speaker 2: would do what's called an interspecies transfer. And when you
Speaker 2: do that you're just moving from one platform to another,
Speaker 2: but you're never selling anything. But when you're selling down
Speaker 2: from a micro investing platform, you can't do that. You
Speaker 2: actually have to sell down that entire asset and then
Speaker 2: buy something on another platform. Therefore, you are going to
Speaker 2: trigger a tax event. And in this situation, you are
Speaker 2: triggering a capital gains tax event, which means that you
Speaker 2: need to pay tax on your profit. Does that make sense?
Speaker 5: It what happens if you sell it at a loss.
Speaker 2: If you sell it at a loss, you get a
Speaker 2: little certificate in your tax, meaning that in the coming
Speaker 2: years you can offset the profit that you make, which
Speaker 2: is really cool. And let's say that you have a
Speaker 2: couple because you said that you had two different platforms.
Speaker 2: Let's say the one that you're selling you're making a loss,
Speaker 2: but the other one you've made a profit in that
Speaker 2: same year. You can claim both on your tax and
Speaker 2: they'll offset one another.
Speaker 5: Oh money in It's actually pretty easy. I sold down
Speaker 5: my spaceship actually this year. I moved it because I
Speaker 5: haven't use it anymore. No, and I exactly that I
Speaker 5: was waiting because it was at a pretty significant loss.
Speaker 5: I was just waiting for it to bounce back up
Speaker 5: and yeah, got close enough. I still sold it at
Speaker 5: a loss, but it got close enough too, but you
Speaker 5: can claim that on your tax Well that's exactly right.
Speaker 5: I was like, it'll offset what I got through my chares,
Speaker 5: used tends, whatever. But it's really simple. When you close
Speaker 5: your account, they'll generally give you like some kind of
Speaker 5: certificate or form that says you sold x amount, this
Speaker 5: is your profit slash loss, and that's what you used
Speaker 5: to input at tax time. Yeah, and hold of that.
Speaker 2: And when you sell down, you're not losing your account,
Speaker 2: so you can still log in and get all your
Speaker 2: tax reporting. So it's not like deleting your account. I mean,
Speaker 2: you can do that in the future, but what I
Speaker 2: would do is trigger the sale, and then after you've
Speaker 2: triggered the sale, you can go and download all of
Speaker 2: your tax reports, including you know, what you sold it for,
Speaker 2: so was it a profit or a loss? Save that
Speaker 2: for later, and then if you want to close your
Speaker 2: account then you can, but I'd wait to make sure
Speaker 2: that I have all the reporting so it doesn't get
Speaker 2: messy in saying that. If you have closed it, you
Speaker 2: can just email the company and they'll be able to
Speaker 2: generate it for you, and that shouldn't be in issues,
Speaker 2: just another step of admin. And Jess doesn't pay ninety
Speaker 2: cents for admin.
Speaker 1: No.
Speaker 2: I I feel like that was a good but very
Speaker 2: technical question. So there's not a lot of like, Jess,
Speaker 2: what would you do? But I don't want you giving
Speaker 2: that advice this time, Jess, because let's be honest. I
Speaker 2: know I'm right. But that is also why we've just
Speaker 2: added a bonus module to my Investing Masterclass as well,
Speaker 2: all about taxes, because we get a lot of questions
Speaker 2: and while throughout the course we do cover taxes, I
Speaker 2: wanted to have a really specific module so that there's
Speaker 2: like old clarity. I was just like, all right, let's
Speaker 2: make sure that this exists and that there's bonus modules.
Speaker 2: And that's actually something that I'm getting really excited about.
Speaker 2: We keep adding all of these bonus modules. Hasn't even
Speaker 2: come out yet, just like people aren't even in the
Speaker 2: course yet officially, and I keep being like, what about
Speaker 2: a bonus module on this? What about a bonus module
Speaker 2: on that? And the cool thing is if you are
Speaker 2: part of the Investing Masterclass, you have lifetime access and
Speaker 2: any bonus content I create in the future will appear
Speaker 2: on your course as well, even if you you know,
Speaker 2: started right now. It's not for like other people. It's
Speaker 2: not to sell even more of it. It's literally to
Speaker 2: add more value to the people that are already in
Speaker 2: the course because we've all got questions and it's my
Speaker 2: job to answer them.
Speaker 5: Amazing. There's I think one week left to sign up,
Speaker 5: so there is, and.
Speaker 2: Will put a little cheeky discount code in the show
Speaker 2: notes as well, So if you've been thinking about signing
Speaker 2: up now as a time my friend exciting. Do you
Speaker 2: want to get into a little sneaky DM that we
Speaker 2: got this week? Guys? Yes, absolutely, Becky's drawing an Apple Core.
Speaker 2: Are you awa that boring?
Speaker 4: Do you want me to draw on for you?
Speaker 2: Nope, I don't want it at all. All right, here
Speaker 2: is our DM of the week. Hey, she's on the money.
Speaker 2: I'm a parent with a bit of a dilemma. Money's
Speaker 2: always been tight since having my kids, and I can't
Speaker 2: afford to go all out for their birthday's lack. I'd
Speaker 2: want to. It's tough, but I've been doing my best
Speaker 2: to make it special with thoughtful gifts and quality time.
Speaker 2: The problem is my in laws always swoop in and
Speaker 2: outshine me with big, expensive presents. Don't get me wrong,
Speaker 2: I really appreciate their generosity, but it's starting to make
Speaker 2: me feel really inadequate. I'm the parent, and I want
Speaker 2: to be the one who creates the happiest memories for
Speaker 2: my child. I don't want to seem ungrateful, but it's
Speaker 2: really getting to me. How can I make sure my
Speaker 2: child remembers the love not the price tag?
Speaker 6: I think, honestly, like kids don't know. It's really like,
Speaker 6: you know, it could be different for every scenario. I
Speaker 6: don't know what they're buying, but kids don't know how
Speaker 6: much things are worth. They have no concept of money.
Speaker 2: Are we talking like twelve year olds who yeah, starting
Speaker 2: to ask for things from Mecca? Are are we talking
Speaker 2: like two and three? And like they're just like the
Speaker 2: cardboard box, you.
Speaker 6: Know, totally totally. And also like I feel like we
Speaker 6: all have those relatives. I mean that's really privileged to say.
Speaker 6: I feel like some of us have those relatives that like,
Speaker 6: you know, when you'd go visit your grandparents, like they're
Speaker 6: going to give you twenty dollars secretly, like you just
Speaker 6: know that there are certain people in your world that
Speaker 6: give you certain things, and it's really exciting.
Speaker 4: Like I remember, like.
Speaker 6: I still associate my dad's side of the family with biscuits,
Speaker 6: and I still associate my mommar with twenty dollars every
Speaker 6: now and then, you know, So we all like kind
Speaker 6: of get little things from from every kind of part
Speaker 6: of our life. And it's not all about like monetary
Speaker 6: value whatsoever. I can totally understand that you having full understanding,
Speaker 6: like full idea, the full picture of like what money
Speaker 6: means and how how important it is to you and
Speaker 6: all that kind of stuff I understand for you, you
Speaker 6: can totally see that that would well, that like does
Speaker 6: make you feel inadequate, like I can't spend this amount
Speaker 6: of money or likes and therefore I feel like I'm
Speaker 6: not doing enough what they're doing more or whatever. But honestly,
Speaker 6: with the kids, like they're not gonna they don't have
Speaker 6: that kind that's.
Speaker 2: I don't remember. Honestly, I don't remember it at all. Jess.
Speaker 2: What he do remember from growing up and getting gifts
Speaker 2: is literally.
Speaker 5: Like thinking back, like I can't can barely remember any
Speaker 5: of the gifts I ever got, and the things that
Speaker 5: I do remember will experience things that I did my parents, like,
Speaker 5: I remember one, Yeah, we went to Disney on Ice,
Speaker 5: And I don't remember a single bit.
Speaker 2: That I was so jealous of all the kids that
Speaker 2: got to go to that I never went, but that
Speaker 2: would have.
Speaker 5: Been so sure we went once because it was very
Speaker 5: far out of our realm of a form of affordability.
Speaker 5: But I don't remember single thing about the show. I
Speaker 5: don't remember anything, like I'm probably didn't buy anything the
Speaker 5: because we probab couldn't aford Just what I remember is
Speaker 5: like the way that my parents told me is that
Speaker 5: it had like rained that day and there was a
Speaker 5: rainbow and they're like, oh, like, let's follow the rainbow.
Speaker 5: And somehow they've done, Oh I think the rainbow's going
Speaker 5: left when you know whatever, They're like, we're going to
Speaker 5: and it was like that's what I remember totally. Other
Speaker 5: little experiences that I remember through my childhood were things
Speaker 5: like that that were thought like that particular part of
Speaker 5: my memory cost them no money, do you know what
Speaker 5: I mean? Of course, the fact that Disney on Ice
Speaker 5: is charch To, and I know that that's really expensive,
Speaker 5: but that is not what I remember.
Speaker 2: With you remember how they made that experience magic completely.
Speaker 5: And I think there's lots of little ways that you
Speaker 5: can do that that don't cost you anything. And I
Speaker 5: wouldn't undervalue that because like, the way that someone makes
Speaker 5: you feel is so much more important than the monetary
Speaker 5: value of something. And to flip the narrative, I think
Speaker 5: that if you can change your mindset, I think it
Speaker 5: would be really helpful because as someone who kind of
Speaker 5: is that relative, like for myself and my partner, for
Speaker 5: our nieces and nephews, we don't have a house, we
Speaker 5: don't have kids, we have no significant financial responsibilities. I'm say,
Speaker 5: I'm fine, Auntie, I buy you dumb expensive things like
Speaker 5: you something stupid and expensive, Yeah, I'll buy it, Like
Speaker 5: Mum and Dad can't justify spending a heap, I don't think.
Speaker 2: I don't think just has ever come to my house,
Speaker 2: not with a present for Harvey and I'm like, what
Speaker 2: is this? And she's like it was just so cute?
Speaker 2: Do you know what I mean?
Speaker 5: It's and I think from my perspective, it's coming from
Speaker 5: a place of lum it's coming from a place of oh,
Speaker 5: well I can do these things, let me do them
Speaker 5: so you don't have to. And it would like, if
Speaker 5: I thought that I was making my brother and sister
Speaker 5: in law feel bad, it would break my heart. That's
Speaker 5: not the intention at all. So I think I totally
Speaker 5: want to validate how you're feeling, because if you want
Speaker 5: to be buying those things and you can't afford them,
Speaker 5: I get that that sucks. But I think if we
Speaker 5: can try and reframe the mindset to be like, how
Speaker 5: good that you know my mother in law wants to
Speaker 5: buy these things for my kids and can buy these
Speaker 5: things for my kids, how can I like, if you
Speaker 5: play with them, Let's say they buy them one of
Speaker 5: those really expensive ride on car things. Like that's the
Speaker 5: first thing I thought of when I don't know why,
Speaker 5: when I.
Speaker 2: Heard the story's Bentley that drives. If you ever see
Speaker 2: Harvey in one of them, wasn't me? It's not yeah,
Speaker 2: not happening, That's what I picched it.
Speaker 5: But like, let's say they do that, Like you get
Speaker 5: the memories of playing with them, build a racetrack from
Speaker 5: cardboard in the backyard and drive them around, and you
Speaker 5: can still be a part of that memory even if
Speaker 5: you're so true by.
Speaker 6: It, and like arguably probably the most memorable part of
Speaker 6: that memory is like you enjoying that with them and
Speaker 6: not the actual who bought.
Speaker 4: It for me.
Speaker 6: You have no You probably like look back and have
Speaker 6: no idea where a lot of these things came from.
Speaker 6: You just remember the memories, as you were saying, of
Speaker 6: experiencing that fun and that playfulness and that magic with
Speaker 6: the people that you experienced. Either could be the parents,
Speaker 6: could be anyone. Yeah, but the memories of what really
Speaker 6: really matter.
Speaker 2: Yeah, No, I totally agree with that.
Speaker 5: And what do you think?
Speaker 2: I guess I'm in this really weird position where this
Speaker 2: is like triggered a heap of memories about my childhood
Speaker 2: and my birthdays. And when I asked you, like, what
Speaker 2: do you remember? I was like, what do I remember?
Speaker 2: And I remember that on our birthdays, Mum would still
Speaker 2: make us go to school if it was a school day,
Speaker 2: but we got to pick what we had for dinner.
Speaker 2: So we never went out for dinner, but we got
Speaker 2: to pick. And I always remember telling my mum that
Speaker 2: I wanted corn beef for dinner because it was my favorite,
Speaker 2: but it wasn't. It was my dad's favorite, and I
Speaker 2: knew that that's what he would really want. And then
Speaker 2: I remember we would always make a cake, so and
Speaker 2: we got to be in complete control of that cake.
Speaker 2: And my sister and I went through this massive phase
Speaker 2: of always wanting to make a Mars bar cheese cake,
Speaker 2: and so we would do that, and when we were younger,
Speaker 2: Mum would help, and as we got older, we'd like
Speaker 2: make it for each other. And that's something that as
Speaker 2: I've become a parent, I'm not thinking about the things
Speaker 2: that I can buy hervey. In fact, we're really privileged
Speaker 2: that we can afford nice gifts. But I really don't
Speaker 2: want him to become entitled. I want him to be
Speaker 2: grateful for these things. But I hope he grows up
Speaker 2: with the same like magic memories, Like I hope that
Speaker 2: you know, I can chase a rainbow for him, and
Speaker 2: I hope that he gets as excited about going through
Speaker 2: the Woman's Weekly Cookbook and picking his birthday cake and
Speaker 2: like remembers that that's the effort we put in for him.
Speaker 2: Because now I'm an adult, I went out and I
Speaker 2: bought the Women's Weekly Cookbook so that he can have
Speaker 2: that tradition. So I think it's been as a new parent.
Speaker 2: There's been a lot of conversation with my husband around
Speaker 2: like how do we make these things special? Like how
Speaker 2: now that we're parents, are we celebrating my husband's birthday
Speaker 2: because I want Harvey to be part of that, but
Speaker 2: I don't want it to be. Okay, Well, on dad's birthday,
Speaker 2: we get him a gift and that's it. So we're
Speaker 2: implementing the cake thing for everybody. And I think that
Speaker 2: that's really cute. But yeah, for me, it's about maybe
Speaker 2: stepping back and going Is it because I feel inadequate
Speaker 2: because I know I really want to give my kid
Speaker 2: this thing and I can't, Or is it because they're
Speaker 2: taking the limelight? What's that? And also what does that
Speaker 2: limelight look like? Does it look like they're getting the
Speaker 2: expensive present on the day of their birthday and you're
Speaker 2: feeling a little bit like, oh, but you've forgotten the
Speaker 2: week after who gave it to them? Because they got
Speaker 2: so many different birthday presents and books and cars and
Speaker 2: toys and whatnot. And then next week they're playing with it.
Speaker 2: You're enjoying that experience. Maybe we need to step and
Speaker 2: do the investing mindset of when in daubt zoomunt like
Speaker 2: what's the bigger picture, what story and what narrative are
Speaker 2: we teaching our kids about this, because if Jess comes
Speaker 2: over with a present for my kid and he's not
Speaker 2: six months old, he's a bit older. The thing I
Speaker 2: would want Harvey to get out of that is gratitude, Like, wow,
Speaker 2: isn't that so generous of Jess. Isn't it so nice
Speaker 2: that she took the time to go to the shops
Speaker 2: and think of you and pick out a present that
Speaker 2: she thought you would love. And I just hope that
Speaker 2: that's what he takes from it, not like sick I
Speaker 2: got a car, like I just I wouldn't ever want
Speaker 2: him to be expectant of those presents. So just like, wow,
Speaker 2: that's extra generous of Jess. Jess must really love you,
Speaker 2: Like yeah, I hope that that's what he gets from it.
Speaker 2: But that's me, you know, wistfully thinking with a six
Speaker 2: month old, and maybe when you've got a little five
Speaker 2: year old who's like, a ha, Jess is the best?
Speaker 2: You're so silly, mom, Like I'll have a different opinion,
Speaker 2: you know, did everyone else say so? We asked the community,
Speaker 2: would it bother you if your in laws overshadowed your gifts?
Speaker 2: Forty four percent of you said yep, I'm a parent,
Speaker 2: I get that. Fifty six percent of you said nut
Speaker 2: wouldn't bother me. Then we asked if this was a problem,
Speaker 2: would you say something. Fifty three percent of you said, yep,
Speaker 2: boundaries are really important. Forty seven percent of you said,
Speaker 2: we're avoiding the drama. We also then said all right,
Speaker 2: what's your two cents? And we had a lot of
Speaker 2: different opinions, which is not surprising. So the first comment
Speaker 2: I've pulled out is I text both families for birthdays
Speaker 2: and Christmases, and I just tell them what to buy.
Speaker 5: Families probably appreciate that too, Like if someone told me
Speaker 5: this is what the kid wants or the kid needs,
Speaker 5: I'd be like, great less brain power for me?
Speaker 2: Why I always ask? So, like I went to I
Speaker 2: want to say my nephew's second birthday, but it's my
Speaker 2: best friend's son's second birthday on the weekend. I actually
Speaker 2: had a really busy weekend, and I text her and said,
Speaker 2: what does he need? Like I'd much prefer to buy
Speaker 2: something that's constructive, and she was like, oh, your presence
Speaker 2: is our present getting the pin Like I want to
Speaker 2: this kid something. So I found something that I thought
Speaker 2: was going to be constructive, but I'm always asking, and
Speaker 2: I think if you're the aunt, like can you just ask, yeah,
Speaker 2: what do you need? Like time's are tough, money is tired.
Speaker 2: If there's a fifty dollars item that you're willing to buy,
Speaker 2: can we make it really constructive? Like they might need
Speaker 2: a new backpack for daycare. Oh that would be a
Speaker 2: weight off mum and dad's shoulders. And the kid's going
Speaker 2: to be stoked that they've got a new backpack, you know, Like, yeah,
Speaker 2: make it constructive. The next comment we got was not
Speaker 2: all kids value expensive gifts. Get to know your child's
Speaker 2: love language. I feel like that's a really good thing
Speaker 2: to remember. And again I'm having these conversations with my husband.
Speaker 2: I'm like, Harve, you's a legit human, Like, isn't it weird,
Speaker 2: Like he's only six months. You can't talk to us yet,
Speaker 2: but like he's got thoughts and feelings and he likes
Speaker 2: some things and he doesn't like other things, and like
Speaker 2: he's not us, So like, what is your kid's love language?
Speaker 2: Because some kids would be like, oh my god, how
Speaker 2: great is this item? And others would be like I
Speaker 2: really wanted to go to the park with you today
Speaker 2: and you just copped out and got me a bike.
Speaker 2: Two other comments, we've got the other end of the spectrum.
Speaker 2: My partner's dad doesn't usually buy anything for our kids.
Speaker 2: And someone said, take the kids camping, so when you're back,
Speaker 2: the birthday is over and it's not relevant anymore. All right,
Speaker 2: take the kids to Meredith. Someone else said this is me.
Speaker 2: I'm the aunt who spoils the kids, and I am
Speaker 2: not sorry about it.
Speaker 5: Nah, fair enough. It's competition people the best art.
Speaker 2: I'm not going to train rival you. Someone else said
Speaker 2: presence don't last, but mum's love does, really, and then
Speaker 2: there were a couple more so. Someone said, I believe
Speaker 2: you can make it super special for kids without any
Speaker 2: fancy expensive gifts. And then the last comment will share
Speaker 2: is stop comparing yourself. It's not about the money that
Speaker 2: your in law is spent. It's actually the thought that matters,
Speaker 2: and you can teach your kid that. So I think
Speaker 2: that's just coming from a place of love, and I
Speaker 2: guess that's where you know. I'm really grateful that people
Speaker 2: buy presents for Harvey, but I just I worry so
Speaker 2: much about bringing up an entitled kid. I don't want that,
Speaker 2: and I just I think it's really about the values
Speaker 2: that you instill in your kids. I'm like, kids aren't
Speaker 2: going to get it, Like, you know, they're tiny human
Speaker 2: beings and they're yeah, okay, cool, but just gave me
Speaker 2: hot wheels. Like, but it's that consistent messaging, and it's
Speaker 2: the underlying tone of like, Okay, well, let's thank Jess
Speaker 2: for that because that was very kind of Jess, and
Speaker 2: all of those things that you can teach your kid
Speaker 2: because yeah, it's not about the money. No, I don't
Speaker 2: remember any of the presents I got as a kid.
Speaker 5: You're entitled to set boundaries if you need to, but
Speaker 5: I think that, yeah, reframing the way you look at it,
Speaker 5: in my mind, is probably the way to do it. Yeah.
Speaker 2: And also like, does it get complicated if you block
Speaker 2: them from doing that and then it creates this drama?
Speaker 4: Yeah, I be like, oh, I'm anxious now. I don't
Speaker 4: know how much.
Speaker 6: I don't know what to do, what to bring, I
Speaker 6: don't know how to even give the child the gifts.
Speaker 6: Act really not that excited or act what do I like?
Speaker 6: You just analyze yourself so much. If someone's like, hey,
Speaker 6: I don't like what you're doing here, it becomes a.
Speaker 6: It's a whole thing, like I don't know what to
Speaker 6: do with my body right now, you know.
Speaker 2: Yeah, And they also maybe step into their shoes. Why
Speaker 2: are they doing that? Are they the jests of the
Speaker 2: family and they want to be the favorite aunt or
Speaker 2: are they just like, oh my gosh, Harvey's gonna love
Speaker 2: this and they just get so excited to do it,
Speaker 2: and then it's kind of taking the shine off. I
Speaker 2: don't know. I feel like both sides of the spectrum
Speaker 2: are valid, but I would step back when in doubt.
Speaker 2: Zoom out exactly.
Speaker 4: Good one.
Speaker 2: Love it well, guys, it has been a beautiful conversation today.
Speaker 2: Thank you for joining me for another Friday drinks. I've
Speaker 2: got a fun episode coming out tomorrow and as always,
Speaker 2: will be back bright and early on Monday morning for
Speaker 2: our money diary. So have a good weekend. Guys. We
Speaker 2: love you.
Speaker 6: Bye, guys, bye.
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