1 00:00:03,200 --> 00:00:05,960 Speaker 1: It's the Happy Families podcast, the podcast for the time 2 00:00:06,040 --> 00:00:09,560 Speaker 1: poor parent who just once answers now, Hello, my name's 3 00:00:09,600 --> 00:00:11,680 Speaker 1: doctor Justin Colson. It's so good of you to be 4 00:00:11,800 --> 00:00:14,880 Speaker 1: part of the podcast. I'm joined by Luke and Susie, 5 00:00:15,080 --> 00:00:18,400 Speaker 1: a husband and wife radio duo with three young boys, 6 00:00:18,680 --> 00:00:20,400 Speaker 1: and can I just say how wonderful it is to 7 00:00:20,440 --> 00:00:23,200 Speaker 1: be seeing the podcast grow to you and everybody who 8 00:00:23,200 --> 00:00:25,800 Speaker 1: you've shared this podcast with, thank you so very much 9 00:00:25,800 --> 00:00:28,680 Speaker 1: for listening. We're watching our numbers absolutely skyrocket recently, and 10 00:00:28,680 --> 00:00:31,360 Speaker 1: I'm pretty sure it's because of the wonderful reviews and 11 00:00:31,520 --> 00:00:34,480 Speaker 1: ratings that you're leaving about the show. Anyway, I'll talk 12 00:00:34,479 --> 00:00:36,720 Speaker 1: more about that shortly. Also, at the end of this podcast, 13 00:00:36,720 --> 00:00:39,000 Speaker 1: make sure you stick around for the outtakes, because I 14 00:00:39,000 --> 00:00:41,120 Speaker 1: don't normally leave them in, but this one was enough 15 00:00:41,159 --> 00:00:43,840 Speaker 1: fun that I think you'll really enjoy it. In this conversation, 16 00:00:44,200 --> 00:00:46,599 Speaker 1: I talked to Luke and Susie about what to do 17 00:00:46,640 --> 00:00:48,160 Speaker 1: when our children are lying. 18 00:00:48,479 --> 00:00:51,159 Speaker 2: Doctor Justin Coulson always great to catch up with you. 19 00:00:51,240 --> 00:00:53,559 Speaker 2: Selena has asked a question. She said, how do you 20 00:00:53,640 --> 00:00:57,120 Speaker 2: deal with lies when you don't know which child is lying? 21 00:00:58,200 --> 00:00:59,639 Speaker 1: Of all the things that they can do they can 22 00:00:59,640 --> 00:01:02,080 Speaker 1: be mean to each other, they can backchat me. And 23 00:01:02,200 --> 00:01:04,360 Speaker 1: while those things are frustrating, I can deal with that. 24 00:01:04,360 --> 00:01:06,440 Speaker 1: But when they lie, oh my goodness, it's kind of 25 00:01:06,480 --> 00:01:08,080 Speaker 1: like the ultimate trigger, right, It's. 26 00:01:07,880 --> 00:01:10,040 Speaker 3: Just like kaboom. 27 00:01:10,880 --> 00:01:13,679 Speaker 1: And it's such a challenging thing for us as parents 28 00:01:13,720 --> 00:01:16,600 Speaker 1: to deal with the age where children start to really 29 00:01:16,680 --> 00:01:19,520 Speaker 1: learn to lie and get a little bit tricky with 30 00:01:19,640 --> 00:01:22,000 Speaker 1: it somewhere around five or six. Now, kids will lie 31 00:01:22,120 --> 00:01:24,959 Speaker 1: quite obviously. Before that, it's very hard for them to 32 00:01:24,959 --> 00:01:27,400 Speaker 1: be super tricky with lying. Prior to that developmentally, their 33 00:01:27,400 --> 00:01:29,720 Speaker 1: brain just doesn't quite work. They haven't got that new 34 00:01:29,880 --> 00:01:32,320 Speaker 1: row pathway there that allows it to happen. But after 35 00:01:32,360 --> 00:01:36,119 Speaker 1: about five or six, they developed this capacity to start 36 00:01:36,160 --> 00:01:39,600 Speaker 1: to tell lies, and somewhere between nine and twelve seems 37 00:01:39,640 --> 00:01:42,320 Speaker 1: to be the age where they're most likely to be lying. Now, 38 00:01:42,520 --> 00:01:45,120 Speaker 1: that doesn't mean that teenagers don't lie, because they do, 39 00:01:45,200 --> 00:01:47,319 Speaker 1: and it doesn't mean that children younger than nine don't lie, 40 00:01:47,360 --> 00:01:49,600 Speaker 1: because of course they do. But I think the most 41 00:01:49,600 --> 00:01:52,280 Speaker 1: important thing to consider here is before we even talk 42 00:01:52,280 --> 00:01:54,600 Speaker 1: about dealing with the strategy of lying, is what if 43 00:01:54,600 --> 00:01:56,960 Speaker 1: we could stop lying before it even started? Like why 44 00:01:57,040 --> 00:01:57,920 Speaker 1: do your kids. 45 00:01:57,680 --> 00:02:01,800 Speaker 4: Lie usually to get out of trouble to justify what 46 00:02:01,840 --> 00:02:02,280 Speaker 4: they've done. 47 00:02:02,520 --> 00:02:04,280 Speaker 1: Now, I know that this is going to be very provocative. 48 00:02:04,560 --> 00:02:07,080 Speaker 1: My belief is that the only reason children lie is 49 00:02:07,120 --> 00:02:09,440 Speaker 1: to not get in trouble. So what if we could 50 00:02:09,440 --> 00:02:11,239 Speaker 1: set things up in our home in such a way 51 00:02:11,280 --> 00:02:14,160 Speaker 1: that our children actually don't get in trouble. 52 00:02:14,000 --> 00:02:16,960 Speaker 3: So they don't fear that as a consequence? That sounds weak? Justin, Yeah, 53 00:02:17,000 --> 00:02:17,320 Speaker 3: that's right. 54 00:02:17,360 --> 00:02:19,000 Speaker 1: We're going to let our kids just We might as 55 00:02:19,040 --> 00:02:20,760 Speaker 1: well raise the white flag and let them do whatever 56 00:02:20,760 --> 00:02:21,120 Speaker 1: they want. 57 00:02:21,200 --> 00:02:24,959 Speaker 3: Right, Yeah, they'll rule the roost, spare the rightspoil the child. Justin. 58 00:02:25,000 --> 00:02:26,840 Speaker 3: I'm just going to throw some things that I think 59 00:02:26,880 --> 00:02:27,560 Speaker 3: you might have heard. 60 00:02:27,760 --> 00:02:29,440 Speaker 1: What happens here is people say, well, hang on, if 61 00:02:29,440 --> 00:02:30,760 Speaker 1: I don't get my kids in trouble, then I've got 62 00:02:30,800 --> 00:02:32,239 Speaker 1: no power over them. And how am I going to 63 00:02:32,280 --> 00:02:33,440 Speaker 1: make them do what they're supposed to do? 64 00:02:33,600 --> 00:02:34,639 Speaker 3: Yes, preach it. 65 00:02:34,760 --> 00:02:36,720 Speaker 1: I think this is a fundamental challenge that we have 66 00:02:36,800 --> 00:02:39,520 Speaker 1: with parents generally. Now we'll get to the dishonesty stuff 67 00:02:39,520 --> 00:02:41,560 Speaker 1: in just a minute, but let's pause for a moment. 68 00:02:41,800 --> 00:02:43,560 Speaker 1: Does anybody get you in trouble if you don't do 69 00:02:43,600 --> 00:02:46,880 Speaker 1: the right thing. Me personally, Luke's just looking at Susie going, 70 00:02:46,880 --> 00:02:51,959 Speaker 1: oh oh, Susie, who gets you in trouble if you 71 00:02:51,960 --> 00:02:52,680 Speaker 1: don't do the right thing? 72 00:02:52,800 --> 00:02:55,160 Speaker 2: Ah, Luke sometimes gets a bit up set. 73 00:02:55,000 --> 00:02:55,280 Speaker 3: It me. 74 00:02:56,760 --> 00:02:58,920 Speaker 1: Okay, But do you actually get in trouble? 75 00:02:59,000 --> 00:03:01,800 Speaker 3: Is what I'm saying, Like, do I get grounded or anything? No, 76 00:03:01,919 --> 00:03:02,400 Speaker 3: of course not. 77 00:03:02,480 --> 00:03:04,160 Speaker 1: Can you imagine that? I mean, that's what we call 78 00:03:04,240 --> 00:03:07,720 Speaker 1: domestic abuse, right, that's family violence or domestic abuse. If 79 00:03:07,760 --> 00:03:10,280 Speaker 1: a husband was or a wife for that matter, was 80 00:03:10,320 --> 00:03:12,560 Speaker 1: to say to their partner, their spouse, if you do 81 00:03:12,600 --> 00:03:14,160 Speaker 1: that again, so help me. You're staying in your room 82 00:03:14,160 --> 00:03:16,560 Speaker 1: for a month. I'm not going to let you out. 83 00:03:16,880 --> 00:03:18,480 Speaker 1: You know, we would call the police. We would call 84 00:03:18,480 --> 00:03:21,080 Speaker 1: that domestic five. Now, I want to be really clear. 85 00:03:21,120 --> 00:03:23,280 Speaker 1: I'm not suggesting that if parents are going to take 86 00:03:23,280 --> 00:03:25,400 Speaker 1: that kind of course of action with their children that 87 00:03:25,440 --> 00:03:27,440 Speaker 1: the police should be called. That's not what I'm suggesting. 88 00:03:27,480 --> 00:03:30,640 Speaker 1: I'm just drawing an analogy between adult behavior and children behavior. 89 00:03:30,639 --> 00:03:33,160 Speaker 1: And some people say, well, children need that, but I 90 00:03:33,200 --> 00:03:35,280 Speaker 1: don't think that they do. I don't think that they 91 00:03:35,360 --> 00:03:36,920 Speaker 1: need to get in trouble. In fact, I have a 92 00:03:36,960 --> 00:03:40,320 Speaker 1: personal mission a personal goal to not get my children 93 00:03:40,520 --> 00:03:43,080 Speaker 1: in trouble. And my children do not rule the roost, 94 00:03:43,240 --> 00:03:45,240 Speaker 1: and my children do not do whatever they want, and 95 00:03:45,280 --> 00:03:47,280 Speaker 1: they do not have me wrapped around their little finger. 96 00:03:47,720 --> 00:03:50,040 Speaker 1: It's just that when they do things that are inconsistent 97 00:03:50,080 --> 00:03:52,080 Speaker 1: with what we value as a family, they don't need 98 00:03:52,120 --> 00:03:53,520 Speaker 1: to get in trouble. We just need to have a 99 00:03:53,520 --> 00:03:56,120 Speaker 1: conversation about it. We sit down and we say, hmm, 100 00:03:56,320 --> 00:03:58,000 Speaker 1: got a little bit of a challenge that's just come up. 101 00:03:58,120 --> 00:04:00,400 Speaker 1: How do we work this out together. I think that's 102 00:04:00,400 --> 00:04:04,120 Speaker 1: probably the best way to deal with the lining, because 103 00:04:04,240 --> 00:04:06,440 Speaker 1: ultimately a child is going to lie because they're scared 104 00:04:06,440 --> 00:04:07,960 Speaker 1: they're going to get in trouble. Therefore, they're going to 105 00:04:07,960 --> 00:04:10,080 Speaker 1: try to apportion blame to their siblings. They're going to 106 00:04:10,120 --> 00:04:13,280 Speaker 1: do everything they can to minimize their contribution to any 107 00:04:13,360 --> 00:04:16,159 Speaker 1: challenges and difficulties and make it look like everybody else's 108 00:04:16,200 --> 00:04:17,000 Speaker 1: bad except for them. 109 00:04:17,160 --> 00:04:19,400 Speaker 4: I think I want to say here that since we 110 00:04:19,480 --> 00:04:22,440 Speaker 4: spoke to you justin about the concept of punishment, we 111 00:04:22,680 --> 00:04:25,360 Speaker 4: have across the board, we've stopped. We used to ground 112 00:04:25,360 --> 00:04:28,600 Speaker 4: our oldest on, in particular from his iPad or from devices, 113 00:04:28,680 --> 00:04:31,800 Speaker 4: and we'd sort of lock them away from using these 114 00:04:32,040 --> 00:04:34,560 Speaker 4: in a form of grounding, and since we've changed to 115 00:04:34,600 --> 00:04:37,120 Speaker 4: do that, and I remember one particular occasion where actually 116 00:04:37,160 --> 00:04:40,919 Speaker 4: the iPad was at the center of his behavior issues. 117 00:04:41,000 --> 00:04:43,040 Speaker 3: It wasn't just that it was a granting technique, it 118 00:04:43,120 --> 00:04:46,240 Speaker 3: was what he was doing was causing him to lash out. 119 00:04:46,360 --> 00:04:48,280 Speaker 4: And so I said to him, mate, I'm not going 120 00:04:48,279 --> 00:04:49,960 Speaker 4: to ground you. I'm not going to take that iPad 121 00:04:50,000 --> 00:04:52,520 Speaker 4: off you. But if the way you treat people when 122 00:04:52,600 --> 00:04:55,280 Speaker 4: you use it is so poor, and that you think 123 00:04:55,320 --> 00:04:57,800 Speaker 4: you can treat people this way, then maybe we need 124 00:04:57,839 --> 00:04:59,599 Speaker 4: to have a conversation about why that is. 125 00:05:00,200 --> 00:05:03,080 Speaker 3: Look, let's have a conversation about what is it that's 126 00:05:03,080 --> 00:05:03,599 Speaker 3: triggering you. 127 00:05:03,640 --> 00:05:06,440 Speaker 4: And if you think that you can use the iPad 128 00:05:06,480 --> 00:05:10,360 Speaker 4: without treating people poorly, then that's okay, But maybe you can't. 129 00:05:10,480 --> 00:05:12,080 Speaker 3: Let me ask you a few questions about this. 130 00:05:12,320 --> 00:05:15,680 Speaker 4: And we had this conversation and his behavior changed quicker 131 00:05:15,680 --> 00:05:17,240 Speaker 4: than any punishment ever made. 132 00:05:17,120 --> 00:05:18,360 Speaker 3: It change, and it stuck. 133 00:05:18,600 --> 00:05:21,400 Speaker 4: Like we never we've told them that basically we're not 134 00:05:21,480 --> 00:05:24,120 Speaker 4: going to use a punishment. Sometimes we're going to say 135 00:05:24,160 --> 00:05:25,840 Speaker 4: I think you need to go off devices because your 136 00:05:25,839 --> 00:05:27,960 Speaker 4: time's up and you're acting ready and let's go out 137 00:05:28,000 --> 00:05:29,680 Speaker 4: and play and let's do something, but never as a 138 00:05:29,680 --> 00:05:32,839 Speaker 4: punishment anymore. And I believe that we've got so much 139 00:05:32,880 --> 00:05:33,920 Speaker 4: better behavior out. 140 00:05:33,800 --> 00:05:36,000 Speaker 3: Of them since we implement it, that we're more in 141 00:05:36,040 --> 00:05:37,080 Speaker 3: control than we ever were. 142 00:05:37,200 --> 00:05:39,880 Speaker 1: The person who has to prove that they're in control 143 00:05:40,240 --> 00:05:42,279 Speaker 1: is not in control. The more I've got to show 144 00:05:42,320 --> 00:05:45,359 Speaker 1: you my power, the less power I actually have. I 145 00:05:45,400 --> 00:05:48,320 Speaker 1: want my power to be completely dormant in my home now. 146 00:05:48,360 --> 00:05:51,000 Speaker 1: Dormant doesn't mean it's not existent. It means that it's 147 00:05:51,040 --> 00:05:53,760 Speaker 1: not in use. And my car is in the garage. 148 00:05:53,760 --> 00:05:56,160 Speaker 1: It's it's lying dormant in the garage. It's still there. 149 00:05:56,240 --> 00:05:58,280 Speaker 1: I just I'm not using it right now. And that's 150 00:05:58,279 --> 00:05:59,800 Speaker 1: the same with my power as a parent. I don't 151 00:05:59,800 --> 00:06:02,000 Speaker 1: want to have to use it. I want my relationships 152 00:06:02,000 --> 00:06:04,560 Speaker 1: to be wonderful. So if my child is lying, let's 153 00:06:04,560 --> 00:06:06,600 Speaker 1: move all the way back to this question now. And 154 00:06:06,640 --> 00:06:08,919 Speaker 1: by the way, I'm so glad. I'm so glad that 155 00:06:08,960 --> 00:06:12,400 Speaker 1: you said that when we remove the threat of punishment, 156 00:06:12,720 --> 00:06:16,120 Speaker 1: our children actually feel safer and they behave better. They 157 00:06:16,160 --> 00:06:18,760 Speaker 1: are less likely to lie, they're less likely to deceive, 158 00:06:18,880 --> 00:06:20,320 Speaker 1: they're more likely to trust us. 159 00:06:20,520 --> 00:06:21,560 Speaker 3: So what I would be doing. 160 00:06:21,600 --> 00:06:23,559 Speaker 1: If my child was lying is I would be saying, 161 00:06:23,720 --> 00:06:26,640 Speaker 1: there's an issue right now where you're lying, or somebody 162 00:06:26,640 --> 00:06:30,480 Speaker 1: in this group of three children is not being completely honest. 163 00:06:30,520 --> 00:06:34,119 Speaker 1: Now everyone has different perceptions, but somebody's not being completely honest. 164 00:06:34,160 --> 00:06:36,000 Speaker 1: And I think that's because you're worried that you're going 165 00:06:36,040 --> 00:06:37,800 Speaker 1: to get into trouble. But you know, I've got this 166 00:06:37,880 --> 00:06:39,840 Speaker 1: goal to never get you into trouble. I just want 167 00:06:39,880 --> 00:06:41,800 Speaker 1: to work out how we can get along better. So 168 00:06:41,839 --> 00:06:44,160 Speaker 1: why don't we work out where we should go to 169 00:06:44,200 --> 00:06:47,200 Speaker 1: move things forward from here? And I sort of draw 170 00:06:47,200 --> 00:06:48,600 Speaker 1: a line in the sound and say, let's just talk 171 00:06:48,600 --> 00:06:50,360 Speaker 1: about the future and what we can do to make 172 00:06:50,400 --> 00:06:54,600 Speaker 1: things better. When everyone's calm, maybe that night or maybe 173 00:06:54,600 --> 00:06:55,960 Speaker 1: on the weekend, you say, hey, you know that thing 174 00:06:56,000 --> 00:06:58,520 Speaker 1: that happened the other day on Tuesday? What actually went 175 00:06:58,560 --> 00:07:01,080 Speaker 1: on there? Like, nobody's in trouble now, nobody's fearing for 176 00:07:01,120 --> 00:07:02,919 Speaker 1: their lives right now because it's been a couple of days, 177 00:07:03,400 --> 00:07:06,159 Speaker 1: and so so you might say what actually happened? And 178 00:07:06,200 --> 00:07:08,240 Speaker 1: then the kids might start to open up. And if 179 00:07:08,279 --> 00:07:10,240 Speaker 1: someone says and so and so did that, then say, 180 00:07:10,280 --> 00:07:11,600 Speaker 1: oh I did not, and said, well, hang on. This 181 00:07:11,720 --> 00:07:13,560 Speaker 1: is just what they think happened. Why don't you tell 182 00:07:13,600 --> 00:07:14,480 Speaker 1: me what you think happened? 183 00:07:14,520 --> 00:07:14,680 Speaker 5: Ah? 184 00:07:14,720 --> 00:07:16,800 Speaker 1: I see, all right, So maybe it's somewhere in the 185 00:07:16,800 --> 00:07:19,160 Speaker 1: middle here and you can It's amazing what happens once 186 00:07:19,200 --> 00:07:21,360 Speaker 1: the emotion is out of the moment. I mean, you know, 187 00:07:21,680 --> 00:07:23,880 Speaker 1: high emotions, low intelligence. You've heard me say it before, 188 00:07:23,920 --> 00:07:25,520 Speaker 1: and all of a sudden you find that there's just 189 00:07:25,600 --> 00:07:28,520 Speaker 1: no need for dishonesty because people aren't scared of getting 190 00:07:28,520 --> 00:07:29,000 Speaker 1: in trouble. 191 00:07:29,480 --> 00:07:32,000 Speaker 2: I've really enjoyed what you've brought to the table as 192 00:07:32,000 --> 00:07:34,640 Speaker 2: an answer to this. So much to ponder on, but 193 00:07:34,880 --> 00:07:37,600 Speaker 2: something that is so we can implement it immediately. 194 00:07:38,040 --> 00:07:38,400 Speaker 3: So good. 195 00:07:38,480 --> 00:07:41,400 Speaker 1: If you've enjoyed the podcast and found it helpful, could 196 00:07:41,440 --> 00:07:43,080 Speaker 1: you do something for me, as a number of people 197 00:07:43,080 --> 00:07:45,040 Speaker 1: have been doing recently, If you could please go to 198 00:07:45,080 --> 00:07:48,160 Speaker 1: Apple Podcasts and leave a rating and review. It'll probably 199 00:07:48,200 --> 00:07:50,600 Speaker 1: take you a minute, maybe two minutes, but it's those 200 00:07:50,680 --> 00:07:52,880 Speaker 1: reviews that you leave that help other people find the 201 00:07:52,920 --> 00:07:56,160 Speaker 1: podcast and have happier families. I love this one. It's 202 00:07:56,240 --> 00:07:59,400 Speaker 1: just come through from lash Legged. It's a five star 203 00:07:59,480 --> 00:08:02,840 Speaker 1: review named Concise and Encouraging. Let me read this to 204 00:08:02,840 --> 00:08:05,320 Speaker 1: you it says in a sea of podcasts, I'm loving 205 00:08:05,320 --> 00:08:08,280 Speaker 1: this one for bringing really helpful, practical, encouraging, guidance and 206 00:08:08,400 --> 00:08:12,320 Speaker 1: ideas to our hungry but overwhelmed iss and lives in 207 00:08:12,360 --> 00:08:15,160 Speaker 1: a brief but powerful way. Each episode around ten or 208 00:08:15,200 --> 00:08:19,480 Speaker 1: so minutes. And oh, I should have read this ahead 209 00:08:19,480 --> 00:08:22,160 Speaker 1: of time. And the timbre and modulation of your voice 210 00:08:22,160 --> 00:08:24,600 Speaker 1: makes it even easier to listen to. Perfect for audio work. 211 00:08:24,640 --> 00:08:28,040 Speaker 1: Please continue forever. Well, that's such a kind review. Thank 212 00:08:28,080 --> 00:08:30,880 Speaker 1: you very much, lash leggared for doing that. For more 213 00:08:30,920 --> 00:08:33,760 Speaker 1: information on how it can help, visit Happy Families dot 214 00:08:33,800 --> 00:08:36,280 Speaker 1: com dot au, or you can visit my Facebook page 215 00:08:36,320 --> 00:08:40,200 Speaker 1: doctor Justin Colson's Happy Families, or my website where you 216 00:08:40,240 --> 00:08:42,760 Speaker 1: can join up and be part of the membership group 217 00:08:42,920 --> 00:08:46,800 Speaker 1: where you get extra podcasts, in depth interviews, Q and 218 00:08:46,840 --> 00:08:49,400 Speaker 1: a's and a whole lot more. As for now, though, 219 00:08:49,640 --> 00:08:52,040 Speaker 1: let's check out those outtakes from this conversation with Luke 220 00:08:52,040 --> 00:08:52,400 Speaker 1: and Susi. 221 00:08:52,679 --> 00:08:54,960 Speaker 2: She said, how do you deal with lies? When you 222 00:08:55,040 --> 00:08:57,000 Speaker 2: don't know which child is lying? 223 00:08:58,040 --> 00:09:01,480 Speaker 1: You can isolate them in their rooms to an electric 224 00:09:01,800 --> 00:09:05,400 Speaker 1: shock machine and every time they respond to a question 225 00:09:05,480 --> 00:09:07,720 Speaker 1: with an elevated heart rate, just give them a little shock, 226 00:09:08,480 --> 00:09:12,200 Speaker 1: just let them know I know when you're telling the truth. 227 00:09:12,240 --> 00:09:14,840 Speaker 1: I saw your heart rate spike. You're lying, and then 228 00:09:14,840 --> 00:09:17,560 Speaker 1: you give them electric shock. It's amazing. 229 00:09:17,679 --> 00:09:21,240 Speaker 4: I think that's really sound advice on how to how 230 00:09:21,280 --> 00:09:21,920 Speaker 4: to finish this. 231 00:09:22,360 --> 00:09:24,960 Speaker 3: I think it would be amiss for me not on 232 00:09:25,000 --> 00:09:25,520 Speaker 3: the back of that. 233 00:09:25,840 --> 00:09:28,200 Speaker 4: Share with you how my mom always could tell I 234 00:09:28,280 --> 00:09:28,760 Speaker 4: was lying. 235 00:09:28,880 --> 00:09:29,240 Speaker 1: How's that? 236 00:09:29,880 --> 00:09:32,360 Speaker 3: So she would say, you know, I can. 237 00:09:32,240 --> 00:09:35,880 Speaker 4: Tell that you're lying from your tongue. So my mom 238 00:09:35,960 --> 00:09:38,240 Speaker 4: never said what it did. She said, I can just tell, 239 00:09:38,360 --> 00:09:41,120 Speaker 4: I can tell by your tongue. Pope your tongue out, 240 00:09:41,160 --> 00:09:43,720 Speaker 4: and I'll be able to tell. And every single time 241 00:09:43,800 --> 00:09:47,600 Speaker 4: she knew, she proved herself consistently. But the method was 242 00:09:47,679 --> 00:09:52,319 Speaker 4: pure psychology, justin because if I was lying, I'd go, you'd. 243 00:09:52,040 --> 00:09:53,640 Speaker 1: Stick it out about half a centime. 244 00:09:54,120 --> 00:09:55,520 Speaker 3: But if I was telling the truth, I'd. 245 00:09:55,360 --> 00:09:59,360 Speaker 5: Be, ah, it's just my willingness to poke the tongue 246 00:09:59,400 --> 00:09:59,800 Speaker 5: out as all. 247 00:10:00,440 --> 00:10:01,280 Speaker 3: And I didn't know. 248 00:10:01,520 --> 00:10:03,960 Speaker 5: And I am sort of very embarrassed to say that 249 00:10:04,000 --> 00:10:08,200 Speaker 5: I was at a reasonable age, around about a teen age, 250 00:10:08,280 --> 00:10:11,120 Speaker 5: when I was deliberately lying to myself in the mirror 251 00:10:11,360 --> 00:10:13,200 Speaker 5: to then poke my tongue out to see what you 252 00:10:13,200 --> 00:10:15,640 Speaker 5: can see? What changes my tongue when I told her lie, 253 00:10:16,400 --> 00:10:17,520 Speaker 5: it's oblivious. 254 00:10:17,640 --> 00:10:18,440 Speaker 3: That's brilliant. 255 00:10:19,679 --> 00:10:20,679 Speaker 1: Mums are so clever. 256 00:10:20,800 --> 00:10:22,240 Speaker 3: If you mess with my head, I tell you. 257 00:10:22,480 --> 00:10:25,920 Speaker 1: And a final quick disclaimer, please don't ever electrocute your 258 00:10:25,960 --> 00:10:27,880 Speaker 1: child for lying or for anything for that matter. 259 00:10:28,440 --> 00:10:29,360 Speaker 3: That would be a bad idea. 260 00:10:29,440 --> 00:10:31,000 Speaker 1: Okay, enjoyed the rest of your day and going How 261 00:10:31,040 --> 00:10:31,559 Speaker 1: do your kids