1 00:00:00,120 --> 00:00:03,160 Speaker 1: Good day, guys. Welcome back to Wine and Snacks, another edition. 2 00:00:03,160 --> 00:00:05,840 Speaker 1: In the fifth edition, big shout out to our listeners 3 00:00:05,840 --> 00:00:08,160 Speaker 1: in Sweden, the UK. How are we going to Sweden 4 00:00:08,240 --> 00:00:10,680 Speaker 1: and Ecuador? Are there's still four or five of. 5 00:00:10,600 --> 00:00:12,160 Speaker 2: Them there Ecuador they've hung on. 6 00:00:12,360 --> 00:00:14,240 Speaker 1: There's in Ecuador and no one's popped up in Ecuador. 7 00:00:15,200 --> 00:00:17,880 Speaker 1: Now this is the podcast where we test if you 8 00:00:18,000 --> 00:00:22,600 Speaker 1: actually do solve the world's problems as you drink more. 9 00:00:22,760 --> 00:00:26,400 Speaker 1: I've brought the wine. I've brought a pepper Jack mal Beck. 10 00:00:27,200 --> 00:00:29,159 Speaker 1: We've got sent this, we got sent this, No, I 11 00:00:29,200 --> 00:00:36,199 Speaker 1: bought it with my own money, saying that we did 12 00:00:36,240 --> 00:00:36,800 Speaker 1: get said this. 13 00:00:36,840 --> 00:00:41,160 Speaker 3: We're borderline sponsored that didn't contribute any any cash, Nobe. 14 00:00:41,200 --> 00:00:43,839 Speaker 1: They contributed the wine. They've sent us some wine not 15 00:00:43,920 --> 00:00:46,520 Speaker 1: taken away from Treasury wines, sent us some beautiful wines. 16 00:00:46,640 --> 00:00:49,680 Speaker 2: Yes, absolutely excited to wrap our lips around. 17 00:00:49,800 --> 00:00:52,640 Speaker 1: Now before we get carried away with the wine woods. 18 00:00:52,680 --> 00:00:53,520 Speaker 1: What snack did you bring? 19 00:00:53,720 --> 00:00:54,560 Speaker 2: Sorry, yes, I've. 20 00:00:54,440 --> 00:00:56,880 Speaker 3: Brought I've brought a classic, a classic, but I'm sure 21 00:00:56,920 --> 00:00:59,240 Speaker 3: you boys will absolutely love it. And I figured, you know, 22 00:00:59,280 --> 00:01:02,720 Speaker 3: we're drinking wine and something that always goes with wine is. 23 00:01:04,400 --> 00:01:05,040 Speaker 1: Cheese. 24 00:01:05,560 --> 00:01:08,800 Speaker 2: So I've brought you cheese flavored twisties. 25 00:01:08,880 --> 00:01:11,319 Speaker 1: Like right, you're she's gonna bring some cheese. 26 00:01:11,520 --> 00:01:14,240 Speaker 4: No, no, please, that's not my styff No. 27 00:01:14,319 --> 00:01:16,600 Speaker 3: Yeah, but twist is a beautiful perfect There's a lot 28 00:01:16,640 --> 00:01:19,479 Speaker 3: of arguments over what's the better twisty cheese or chicken. 29 00:01:20,360 --> 00:01:24,840 Speaker 1: We'll go into that shortly. Sure today, as we drink more, 30 00:01:24,840 --> 00:01:27,399 Speaker 1: we're going to try and solve the problem. Why do 31 00:01:27,480 --> 00:01:29,520 Speaker 1: we end up marrying our parents? 32 00:01:30,840 --> 00:01:34,920 Speaker 5: You suck of wine is a tasty burger in the US, 33 00:01:35,000 --> 00:01:44,480 Speaker 5: and they very rich people like to drink of wine. 34 00:01:44,760 --> 00:01:45,679 Speaker 5: What do you guys want? 35 00:01:45,920 --> 00:01:49,160 Speaker 1: Sour cream and onion ships with some dis beef jerkeys 36 00:01:49,160 --> 00:01:51,200 Speaker 1: and peanut butter. It's some honking does ice creek corn 37 00:01:51,400 --> 00:01:51,840 Speaker 1: cracker sweet. 38 00:01:51,880 --> 00:01:53,680 Speaker 2: Ye, that's it. 39 00:01:53,880 --> 00:01:54,920 Speaker 1: I like to drink. 40 00:01:54,760 --> 00:01:55,600 Speaker 2: Mine more rice. 41 00:02:00,160 --> 00:02:02,840 Speaker 1: Good afternoon, gentlemen, Good after everyone? 42 00:02:02,840 --> 00:02:03,160 Speaker 4: This thing? 43 00:02:03,280 --> 00:02:05,720 Speaker 1: Yeah, so why do we end up marrying our parents? 44 00:02:06,280 --> 00:02:08,640 Speaker 1: Very quickly before we get into it. Yeah, I actually, 45 00:02:08,720 --> 00:02:10,320 Speaker 1: as we were talking about before, I have brought a 46 00:02:10,320 --> 00:02:13,200 Speaker 1: bottle of the Pepperjack mail Beck mal Beck quite a 47 00:02:13,440 --> 00:02:15,239 Speaker 1: masculine sort of a wine bit robust. What do you 48 00:02:15,280 --> 00:02:16,040 Speaker 1: guys think about a sip? 49 00:02:16,120 --> 00:02:19,359 Speaker 3: Yet it was actually lighter than I first anticipated. 50 00:02:19,600 --> 00:02:21,560 Speaker 4: My wife and I had a bottle of this on 51 00:02:21,600 --> 00:02:24,160 Speaker 4: the weekend, actually woulds and we had to google what 52 00:02:24,200 --> 00:02:26,760 Speaker 4: mal beck was because we're normally a cab sav drinker 53 00:02:26,840 --> 00:02:28,560 Speaker 4: or a Charaz drinker and it's sort of a bit 54 00:02:28,639 --> 00:02:32,400 Speaker 4: softer than a cab savp. Yeah, yeah, it's nice. 55 00:02:32,440 --> 00:02:35,440 Speaker 1: It's nice, isn't it? Argentinian grape mal bec? 56 00:02:35,480 --> 00:02:37,120 Speaker 3: Because I thought it was going to be heavier, given 57 00:02:37,160 --> 00:02:39,280 Speaker 3: than Argentina they're well known for their meat eating. 58 00:02:39,520 --> 00:02:41,959 Speaker 1: Yeah, we know very well with a steak though, but 59 00:02:42,040 --> 00:02:42,519 Speaker 1: doesn't done. 60 00:02:42,520 --> 00:02:44,560 Speaker 2: Doesn't a heavier wine go with a with a with 61 00:02:44,639 --> 00:02:45,079 Speaker 2: a steak? 62 00:02:45,480 --> 00:02:48,120 Speaker 1: I would, yes, but it is a heavier wine. 63 00:02:48,760 --> 00:02:50,120 Speaker 4: I expected more from the Argentinians. 64 00:02:50,120 --> 00:02:51,600 Speaker 1: Oh you thought it was going to be harder than that? 65 00:02:51,680 --> 00:02:53,480 Speaker 3: Yeah, I wanted to really like blow my socks off. 66 00:02:53,560 --> 00:02:54,600 Speaker 3: Yeah that's what I was expecting. 67 00:02:54,639 --> 00:02:56,280 Speaker 1: It is wine though, Like it's not a spirit, so 68 00:02:56,320 --> 00:02:56,840 Speaker 1: it can't be that. 69 00:02:57,520 --> 00:03:00,400 Speaker 3: No, that's right, potient, And can I just say it's delicious. Yeah, 70 00:03:00,480 --> 00:03:03,280 Speaker 3: it's absolutely very good. But I just expected heavier. I 71 00:03:03,400 --> 00:03:04,400 Speaker 3: thought it was going to be heavier. 72 00:03:04,480 --> 00:03:06,600 Speaker 1: So yeah, Pepperjeck Mailbank, get around that. Woods. You've brought 73 00:03:06,600 --> 00:03:07,880 Speaker 1: the cheese twisters, which. 74 00:03:07,720 --> 00:03:11,200 Speaker 2: Yes, you've hogged. Well you boys didn't us up until now. 75 00:03:11,200 --> 00:03:15,120 Speaker 1: It's brought the party he brought the party bag, supre scene. 76 00:03:15,200 --> 00:03:18,320 Speaker 1: So it's a two hundred and seventy gram bag of twists. 77 00:03:18,480 --> 00:03:18,920 Speaker 2: Huge bag. 78 00:03:18,960 --> 00:03:21,160 Speaker 4: Again, still haven't given us a single twisting, mate, if 79 00:03:21,160 --> 00:03:21,720 Speaker 4: you don't want. 80 00:03:21,560 --> 00:03:24,239 Speaker 2: To just it does go beautifully with the Mailbaca cheese twisting. 81 00:03:24,639 --> 00:03:28,320 Speaker 1: Again, Matte, you still have not handled around the bag. 82 00:03:29,880 --> 00:03:31,720 Speaker 1: So every week, if you are new to the podcast, 83 00:03:31,720 --> 00:03:33,480 Speaker 1: each of us has to bring something which we hope 84 00:03:33,520 --> 00:03:36,280 Speaker 1: will help solve the problem that we're trying to solve. 85 00:03:36,920 --> 00:03:39,880 Speaker 1: So whenever we bring that thing to the chat, there'll 86 00:03:39,880 --> 00:03:41,480 Speaker 1: be a little bit of a sound effect and then 87 00:03:41,520 --> 00:03:43,480 Speaker 1: you'll hear the theme song for the show today. The 88 00:03:43,480 --> 00:03:45,960 Speaker 1: sound effect we've chosen to go with is Woody having 89 00:03:45,960 --> 00:03:46,880 Speaker 1: a stroke on. 90 00:03:46,920 --> 00:03:50,720 Speaker 6: Air anyway, it's it's, it's, it's, it's, it's it's let's 91 00:03:50,840 --> 00:03:52,160 Speaker 6: let's let's just leave that behind you. 92 00:03:54,560 --> 00:03:55,360 Speaker 4: That was a weird moment. 93 00:03:55,400 --> 00:03:57,440 Speaker 1: So that's what you're here. 94 00:03:57,440 --> 00:03:59,520 Speaker 3: There's always going to be just embarrassing bits of audio 95 00:03:59,600 --> 00:04:02,920 Speaker 3: of main We've got like dozen, Yeah, we have a 96 00:04:02,960 --> 00:04:03,760 Speaker 3: treasure shove of them. 97 00:04:03,760 --> 00:04:06,760 Speaker 1: We can share the some of them in storage, So yeah, no, 98 00:04:07,240 --> 00:04:10,120 Speaker 1: there will be that. So yeah, every time one of 99 00:04:10,120 --> 00:04:11,680 Speaker 1: you brings you a thing, you'll hear that sound of it, 100 00:04:11,760 --> 00:04:13,560 Speaker 1: and then you'll hear the music the nation. I was 101 00:04:13,560 --> 00:04:15,320 Speaker 1: going to ask both of you guys, which which I 102 00:04:15,320 --> 00:04:18,159 Speaker 1: think is really fascinating about this is there are often 103 00:04:19,080 --> 00:04:23,279 Speaker 1: traits in your parents that you don't want, that you 104 00:04:23,440 --> 00:04:25,320 Speaker 1: like run away from in a partner, that you will 105 00:04:25,320 --> 00:04:26,479 Speaker 1: look at them and you're like, oh my god, I 106 00:04:26,520 --> 00:04:30,080 Speaker 1: never want to be around that in another person ever again. 107 00:04:30,520 --> 00:04:32,440 Speaker 1: But then the really funny part about that is that 108 00:04:32,480 --> 00:04:36,200 Speaker 1: we end up with those people. Isn't it amazing? You 109 00:04:36,279 --> 00:04:41,760 Speaker 1: often quite deliberately try and seek people who won't do, 110 00:04:41,960 --> 00:04:43,640 Speaker 1: won't treat you the same way as your parents do. 111 00:04:44,200 --> 00:04:45,360 Speaker 1: Sho should then you end. 112 00:04:45,320 --> 00:04:47,839 Speaker 4: Up with those people I wouldn't really quickly throw in 113 00:04:47,839 --> 00:04:49,560 Speaker 4: as well for a bit of context there. I have 114 00:04:49,680 --> 00:04:53,440 Speaker 4: a phenomenal relationship with my mum. Yeah, like I call 115 00:04:53,480 --> 00:04:56,280 Speaker 4: it every week and you sat, mate, she lives in 116 00:04:56,320 --> 00:04:59,520 Speaker 4: another state, and like, yeah, we have a phenomenal relationship. 117 00:04:59,560 --> 00:05:01,200 Speaker 4: If you would tell me, oh, you've married your mom, 118 00:05:01,200 --> 00:05:02,440 Speaker 4: that for me is a massive compliment. 119 00:05:02,560 --> 00:05:04,640 Speaker 1: Yeah, is that funny? Because but That's the thing is 120 00:05:04,640 --> 00:05:05,920 Speaker 1: what you're right when you when you say like, oh, 121 00:05:05,920 --> 00:05:08,760 Speaker 1: you've married your mam or you've married your dad. It's instantly. 122 00:05:09,320 --> 00:05:11,839 Speaker 1: It's not a compliment, is it. You're automatically It's not 123 00:05:11,880 --> 00:05:15,400 Speaker 1: a nice thing to hear all portrayed. That's trudy mother, 124 00:05:15,480 --> 00:05:17,560 Speaker 1: and that's right. Oh don't tell your wife you're married. 125 00:05:18,480 --> 00:05:21,159 Speaker 2: But it's also the oedipis complex, which is a bit confronting. 126 00:05:21,520 --> 00:05:22,680 Speaker 1: Yeah, when you get told. 127 00:05:22,560 --> 00:05:24,360 Speaker 3: I'm not attracted to my mum, I'm not into my mum. Well, 128 00:05:25,400 --> 00:05:26,600 Speaker 3: defensive mechanism. 129 00:05:26,520 --> 00:05:27,960 Speaker 1: You're not physically attracted to you. 130 00:05:27,960 --> 00:05:28,960 Speaker 2: I'll speak for yourself, but. 131 00:05:30,440 --> 00:05:33,840 Speaker 1: You're going your mom is a gorgeous one, but you're 132 00:05:33,920 --> 00:05:35,640 Speaker 1: just you're not going out there to look for the 133 00:05:35,640 --> 00:05:38,400 Speaker 1: physical traits in your mum, in another woman. That's that's 134 00:05:38,440 --> 00:05:39,680 Speaker 1: not the physical side of things. 135 00:05:39,839 --> 00:05:41,200 Speaker 2: Playing the game differently. 136 00:05:42,000 --> 00:05:44,480 Speaker 1: I've had this wrong all those years. Well, the thing is, 137 00:05:44,480 --> 00:05:47,880 Speaker 1: though you're not actually playing any game woods because there's 138 00:05:47,880 --> 00:05:50,279 Speaker 1: no game involved with it. This is this is really 139 00:05:50,800 --> 00:05:53,760 Speaker 1: the fact that people end up marrying their parents or 140 00:05:53,880 --> 00:05:56,400 Speaker 1: end up with their parents is no coincidence. There's no game, 141 00:05:56,839 --> 00:05:59,440 Speaker 1: there's no deliberateness to it. It is totally out of 142 00:05:59,480 --> 00:05:59,960 Speaker 1: your hand. 143 00:06:00,200 --> 00:06:02,799 Speaker 2: Do you think you've done it in lots of ways? 144 00:06:02,880 --> 00:06:03,120 Speaker 3: Yes? 145 00:06:03,800 --> 00:06:05,000 Speaker 2: Yeah, interesting because. 146 00:06:04,880 --> 00:06:07,360 Speaker 1: Lots and lots. And in fact, the more I get, 147 00:06:07,560 --> 00:06:10,320 Speaker 1: the more I Yes. In fact, the moment that I 148 00:06:10,680 --> 00:06:12,080 Speaker 1: had at the moment a little while ago, and I 149 00:06:12,080 --> 00:06:13,960 Speaker 1: was like, oh my god, you are so much like 150 00:06:13,960 --> 00:06:15,400 Speaker 1: my mum. 151 00:06:15,720 --> 00:06:16,360 Speaker 4: Did sem take that? 152 00:06:17,120 --> 00:06:22,640 Speaker 1: She knows, Yeah, she knows. It's classic. And so the 153 00:06:22,680 --> 00:06:25,680 Speaker 1: reason that it exists is because it all comes down 154 00:06:25,720 --> 00:06:28,960 Speaker 1: to what they call attachment theory. All right, and we 155 00:06:29,000 --> 00:06:32,040 Speaker 1: will get into the Oedipus complex shortly, but attachment theory 156 00:06:32,240 --> 00:06:35,160 Speaker 1: or the idea of attachment, and the word attachment's very 157 00:06:35,440 --> 00:06:38,520 Speaker 1: specific there. It is the bond that forms between an 158 00:06:38,560 --> 00:06:42,080 Speaker 1: infant and a caregiver. So naturally, normally it is your mum. 159 00:06:42,839 --> 00:06:47,400 Speaker 1: And it is so critical to your brain stimulation and development, 160 00:06:47,440 --> 00:06:51,080 Speaker 1: this initial attachment that apparently you actually have neurons in 161 00:06:51,080 --> 00:06:56,599 Speaker 1: your brain which are specifically devoted to just fostering that relationship. Wow, 162 00:06:56,960 --> 00:07:00,520 Speaker 1: and receptive of the oxytocin which that relationship creates. That's 163 00:07:00,560 --> 00:07:03,240 Speaker 1: what you need to need a caregiver. 164 00:07:03,400 --> 00:07:03,680 Speaker 4: That's it. 165 00:07:03,920 --> 00:07:06,720 Speaker 1: That as mammals as mammals, that is the number. That's 166 00:07:06,720 --> 00:07:09,400 Speaker 1: the reason that we are the number one species on 167 00:07:09,440 --> 00:07:12,520 Speaker 1: the planet. Mammals is because of the bond between mother 168 00:07:12,600 --> 00:07:15,960 Speaker 1: and child, because you have someone looking after you to 169 00:07:16,360 --> 00:07:18,480 Speaker 1: say to you, Hey, don't go over there. If you 170 00:07:18,520 --> 00:07:20,240 Speaker 1: go over there, you're gonna fall in a ditch. If 171 00:07:20,280 --> 00:07:22,920 Speaker 1: you go over there, you're gonna. 172 00:07:22,720 --> 00:07:23,440 Speaker 2: Get eaten by bear. 173 00:07:24,240 --> 00:07:25,480 Speaker 1: You could get eaten by bear. 174 00:07:25,520 --> 00:07:26,240 Speaker 2: That's where the bears hanging. 175 00:07:26,280 --> 00:07:28,840 Speaker 1: I think, do that just you say that because it rhyme. 176 00:07:29,360 --> 00:07:37,520 Speaker 1: You go over there, That'll always say with me. It 177 00:07:38,600 --> 00:07:41,720 Speaker 1: seems like such a trivial thing that you that the 178 00:07:41,760 --> 00:07:44,760 Speaker 1: mammal parent or caregiver to child connection, like we just 179 00:07:44,800 --> 00:07:47,440 Speaker 1: take it for granted. But when you look. But the 180 00:07:47,480 --> 00:07:49,600 Speaker 1: fact is, when you look at any mammal on the planet, 181 00:07:49,920 --> 00:07:54,480 Speaker 1: as soon as they give birth to something, they cannot 182 00:07:54,480 --> 00:07:57,640 Speaker 1: help themselves. But look after that thing. That is I 183 00:07:57,680 --> 00:08:01,640 Speaker 1: find that psychologically outrageous. 184 00:08:01,000 --> 00:08:02,600 Speaker 2: Unless unless you're a Quaker. 185 00:08:03,200 --> 00:08:07,000 Speaker 3: Yeah, yeahquackers throw their babies at predators. 186 00:08:07,360 --> 00:08:09,239 Speaker 1: But that's only if they're in self defense. 187 00:08:09,320 --> 00:08:12,960 Speaker 3: Yeah, but they're not exactly protecting enough. It's a bear coming, bang, 188 00:08:13,040 --> 00:08:13,640 Speaker 3: throw the baby. 189 00:08:14,040 --> 00:08:22,200 Speaker 1: There are no bears. Six o'clock. I love your child, 190 00:08:22,280 --> 00:08:24,640 Speaker 1: over your shoulder. No, you're right, Quakers do throw their 191 00:08:24,680 --> 00:08:28,400 Speaker 1: children at predators only if they're in serious danger. But 192 00:08:28,440 --> 00:08:30,040 Speaker 1: I do think that's amazing that that there is a 193 00:08:30,040 --> 00:08:33,560 Speaker 1: particular species on the planet that there's no communication between 194 00:08:33,600 --> 00:08:38,120 Speaker 1: all the different mammals like whales. Don't you know, they 195 00:08:38,160 --> 00:08:39,960 Speaker 1: know that we're here, but they have no idea that 196 00:08:39,960 --> 00:08:42,000 Speaker 1: that's what happens with us as well. Yeah, you no, 197 00:08:42,040 --> 00:08:44,480 Speaker 1: other you don't. Mammals don't know that other mammals do that. 198 00:08:44,559 --> 00:08:48,760 Speaker 1: But instinctively, they are genetically hardwired to compulsively look after 199 00:08:48,800 --> 00:08:50,640 Speaker 1: their child so that they will grow up and be 200 00:08:52,720 --> 00:08:55,760 Speaker 1: well safe effectively so that they can then spread their 201 00:08:55,760 --> 00:08:57,720 Speaker 1: own offspring. And I think the even more interesting thing 202 00:08:57,760 --> 00:09:02,840 Speaker 1: about that with humans is that because when humans became bipedial, 203 00:09:02,920 --> 00:09:05,200 Speaker 1: so when humans went from four leagues to two legs, 204 00:09:05,960 --> 00:09:09,520 Speaker 1: all of a sudden, their hips weren't became narrower because 205 00:09:09,520 --> 00:09:11,720 Speaker 1: we had to stand upright right. So if you look 206 00:09:11,760 --> 00:09:15,680 Speaker 1: at chimps, and yes we'll specifically chimps their eclosive relatives. 207 00:09:15,679 --> 00:09:19,240 Speaker 1: When it comes to primates, their hips are very wide, huge, 208 00:09:19,440 --> 00:09:24,040 Speaker 1: that's another way of saying enormous, as they've got enormous 209 00:09:24,080 --> 00:09:26,560 Speaker 1: ars on them right, So particularly the females, their hips 210 00:09:26,559 --> 00:09:28,319 Speaker 1: are very wide, so that means that they can give 211 00:09:28,360 --> 00:09:33,360 Speaker 1: birth a lot later in life. Right right, as soon 212 00:09:33,400 --> 00:09:35,680 Speaker 1: as humans became Homo erectus, and I know you're going 213 00:09:35,760 --> 00:09:37,000 Speaker 1: to get a giggle there, what are you a chop? 214 00:09:38,320 --> 00:09:43,240 Speaker 1: Homo erectus was the first bipedial ape or primate if 215 00:09:43,320 --> 00:09:45,520 Speaker 1: you like. So they stood upright. But because they stood 216 00:09:45,559 --> 00:09:47,400 Speaker 1: up right, their hips couldn't be as white, so their 217 00:09:47,440 --> 00:09:52,040 Speaker 1: hips narrow, right, which means which means that human beings 218 00:09:52,120 --> 00:09:56,920 Speaker 1: give birth to babies which are much younger and much 219 00:09:57,000 --> 00:10:00,520 Speaker 1: more vulnerable than any other species on the planet. So 220 00:10:00,600 --> 00:10:02,559 Speaker 1: if you look at like a giraffe giving birth, or 221 00:10:02,600 --> 00:10:04,720 Speaker 1: a horse giving birth or a cowgiving birth, what's the 222 00:10:04,720 --> 00:10:07,280 Speaker 1: first thing they do? They stand up? Yeah, you give 223 00:10:07,360 --> 00:10:12,000 Speaker 1: birth to a human baby. That it's like, ah, somebody 224 00:10:12,000 --> 00:10:16,400 Speaker 1: get around me because I am helpless. Use it's completely helpless. 225 00:10:16,400 --> 00:10:18,839 Speaker 1: And that's purely because of this evolutionary hang up where 226 00:10:19,160 --> 00:10:22,600 Speaker 1: the birth canal is smaller on human humans. So the 227 00:10:22,640 --> 00:10:25,840 Speaker 1: baby's head as a result, because the baby is born 228 00:10:25,920 --> 00:10:29,240 Speaker 1: prematurely as compared to all other mammals. Right, Like, imagine 229 00:10:29,240 --> 00:10:30,040 Speaker 1: if a baby just came. 230 00:10:29,920 --> 00:10:32,160 Speaker 3: Out of the woman started walking be so much more 231 00:10:32,200 --> 00:10:33,520 Speaker 3: and better, like it much more efficient. 232 00:10:33,559 --> 00:10:34,280 Speaker 1: Well, of course it was. 233 00:10:35,040 --> 00:10:37,240 Speaker 2: Easy with life. Even oh, you've got two kids, just 234 00:10:37,240 --> 00:10:38,679 Speaker 2: walking out of the womb. 235 00:10:38,760 --> 00:10:43,280 Speaker 4: It'd be convenient, but also terrifying, because there is terrifying 236 00:10:43,320 --> 00:10:45,640 Speaker 4: because when you have a baby, the first year is 237 00:10:45,679 --> 00:10:47,719 Speaker 4: actually great in a lot of ways because you can 238 00:10:48,480 --> 00:10:51,719 Speaker 4: on the floor. Yeah, and they don't move. When they 239 00:10:51,720 --> 00:10:53,640 Speaker 4: start moving, that's the realization you're. 240 00:10:53,520 --> 00:10:55,920 Speaker 1: Like, God, I'm going to have to put some I'm 241 00:10:55,960 --> 00:10:59,160 Speaker 1: gonna have to start being a parent. My God's but 242 00:10:59,200 --> 00:11:01,720 Speaker 1: that's the thing because because all the other mammals they 243 00:11:01,720 --> 00:11:05,080 Speaker 1: have to parent immediately. Humans you get this huge windfall 244 00:11:05,120 --> 00:11:07,959 Speaker 1: where it's like this child is so vulgar and you 245 00:11:07,960 --> 00:11:10,120 Speaker 1: need to do everything for it. You need a burthot 246 00:11:11,280 --> 00:11:14,679 Speaker 1: the child. So that's why human babies are They're born 247 00:11:14,720 --> 00:11:17,640 Speaker 1: so prematurely. And the add on of that, the result 248 00:11:17,720 --> 00:11:21,120 Speaker 1: of that is that their brains, their brains in particular, 249 00:11:21,200 --> 00:11:26,079 Speaker 1: are so malleable, they are so susceptible, and as a result, 250 00:11:26,200 --> 00:11:28,720 Speaker 1: the only relationship that a child is aware of really 251 00:11:28,720 --> 00:11:31,240 Speaker 1: at that age is their primary caregiver. The infant is 252 00:11:31,240 --> 00:11:33,760 Speaker 1: their primary caregiver, and the baby, and that means they 253 00:11:33,800 --> 00:11:40,800 Speaker 1: are that relationship. That first relationship has enduring influence on 254 00:11:40,920 --> 00:11:44,080 Speaker 1: the ability of the child to form stable relationships and 255 00:11:44,240 --> 00:11:48,440 Speaker 1: pretty much is the script for the child as to 256 00:11:48,559 --> 00:11:50,960 Speaker 1: how all relationships should be run. 257 00:11:51,559 --> 00:11:54,280 Speaker 2: Henceforth, sow does papa get involved? 258 00:11:54,280 --> 00:11:54,439 Speaker 1: There? 259 00:11:54,480 --> 00:11:57,640 Speaker 3: Then, like you keep saying, primary caregiver, which is off, 260 00:11:57,679 --> 00:11:59,960 Speaker 3: the is always going to be the person who has 261 00:12:00,120 --> 00:12:01,959 Speaker 3: given birth. There may be two mothers, but at the 262 00:12:02,040 --> 00:12:04,120 Speaker 3: end of the day, the person who has, for want 263 00:12:04,160 --> 00:12:06,640 Speaker 3: of better word, popped out the baby. 264 00:12:07,080 --> 00:12:09,120 Speaker 2: Where then does dad get involved? 265 00:12:09,200 --> 00:12:12,640 Speaker 3: And the extension to that question would be do women 266 00:12:12,880 --> 00:12:13,800 Speaker 3: marry their dads? 267 00:12:13,840 --> 00:12:18,880 Speaker 1: Then yes? The short answer is the short answer is yes, 268 00:12:18,920 --> 00:12:21,720 Speaker 1: and that's only because of the heterosexual nature of things. 269 00:12:21,760 --> 00:12:24,720 Speaker 1: So that's if they are heterosexual. If they're homosexual, it's 270 00:12:24,720 --> 00:12:25,400 Speaker 1: obviously different. 271 00:12:25,480 --> 00:12:28,240 Speaker 3: So but why a dad though, because the dad's never 272 00:12:28,280 --> 00:12:29,600 Speaker 3: the primary care No. 273 00:12:29,480 --> 00:12:32,520 Speaker 1: So it still gets informed by your mum. But if 274 00:12:32,559 --> 00:12:35,240 Speaker 1: you're a heterosexual, obviously and you're a woman, then that 275 00:12:35,280 --> 00:12:37,560 Speaker 1: will inform your sexual relationships. And we'll talk about the 276 00:12:37,559 --> 00:12:39,760 Speaker 1: Oedipus complex a little bit later on, because I know 277 00:12:39,800 --> 00:12:43,600 Speaker 1: you're very keen to get their woods. You're sick, oh, now, Joe, 278 00:12:44,080 --> 00:12:46,560 Speaker 1: you've got your hand in the air because I feel 279 00:12:46,559 --> 00:12:47,680 Speaker 1: like you want to bring your thing. 280 00:12:47,840 --> 00:12:48,760 Speaker 4: You know, I'm happy to go first. 281 00:12:48,840 --> 00:12:52,000 Speaker 1: Yeah. Cool, al right, well, let's let's change tact before 282 00:12:52,000 --> 00:12:54,640 Speaker 1: we start talking about what is having sex with your dad? 283 00:12:57,160 --> 00:13:02,240 Speaker 6: That's actually what my thing is anyway. It's it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's. 284 00:13:02,320 --> 00:13:03,959 Speaker 6: Let's let's let's just leave there behind me. 285 00:13:05,120 --> 00:13:05,280 Speaker 3: Now. 286 00:13:05,320 --> 00:13:07,480 Speaker 4: I want to stress, actually, will you be very understanding 287 00:13:07,480 --> 00:13:11,160 Speaker 4: of this because both my mum and my wife hate 288 00:13:11,440 --> 00:13:13,720 Speaker 4: coming on the radio. I've tried to do it many 289 00:13:13,720 --> 00:13:16,240 Speaker 4: many times for different things, and they just impossible to 290 00:13:16,240 --> 00:13:17,600 Speaker 4: do it. So of course I didn't tell them what 291 00:13:17,640 --> 00:13:21,760 Speaker 4: I was going to get them on for, patched the 292 00:13:21,840 --> 00:13:25,720 Speaker 4: call and just ask them with no set up exp 293 00:13:25,840 --> 00:13:29,160 Speaker 4: or no explanation whatsoever. And did I marry my mother 294 00:13:29,240 --> 00:13:32,280 Speaker 4: with my mum Leonora Gelding and my wife Keisha Gelding 295 00:13:32,600 --> 00:13:34,200 Speaker 4: on the phone at the same time. This is how 296 00:13:34,240 --> 00:13:34,480 Speaker 4: it went. 297 00:13:35,080 --> 00:13:37,520 Speaker 7: Hello, Hi Joel, I. 298 00:13:37,480 --> 00:13:39,280 Speaker 4: Got Keisha on the phone for this bit as well. 299 00:13:39,600 --> 00:13:42,800 Speaker 7: Hi Keichhe Hayley. 300 00:13:42,920 --> 00:13:44,520 Speaker 4: Now the reason I've got you both on the phone 301 00:13:44,600 --> 00:13:47,520 Speaker 4: right now, it's a very simple question. Is it possible 302 00:13:47,640 --> 00:13:51,360 Speaker 4: that you've married your mother. Oh, Keis, do you see 303 00:13:51,360 --> 00:13:54,000 Speaker 4: any similarities between you and my mum? 304 00:13:54,080 --> 00:13:58,479 Speaker 7: I think we're similar calm nature. Maybe we're sort of introvert, 305 00:13:58,679 --> 00:14:01,559 Speaker 7: or we're sort of Sophie spoken, or we're just very 306 00:14:01,600 --> 00:14:02,880 Speaker 7: caring in general, I think. 307 00:14:02,960 --> 00:14:04,480 Speaker 4: But what about you, mum? Do you think do you 308 00:14:04,559 --> 00:14:06,880 Speaker 4: see any similarities between you and kish when I when 309 00:14:06,920 --> 00:14:08,640 Speaker 4: I brought Kesha into your life. 310 00:14:08,920 --> 00:14:10,440 Speaker 7: Yeah, she's a nurse like me. 311 00:14:11,000 --> 00:14:13,480 Speaker 1: She's a great mum, and I'd like to think I'm 312 00:14:13,480 --> 00:14:14,040 Speaker 1: a great mum. 313 00:14:14,400 --> 00:14:17,040 Speaker 4: I love that we love it and we love our. 314 00:14:16,920 --> 00:14:18,920 Speaker 7: Kids, and I think we've got a lot of that 315 00:14:19,000 --> 00:14:21,360 Speaker 7: in common. I think your mum and I have the 316 00:14:21,360 --> 00:14:24,280 Speaker 7: same dark humor. Oh the comments she says about your 317 00:14:24,360 --> 00:14:28,080 Speaker 7: dad and I just little little slight comments here and there. 318 00:14:28,440 --> 00:14:29,960 Speaker 7: I pick up a lot on and I find it's 319 00:14:30,000 --> 00:14:32,040 Speaker 7: hilarious because I think I'm the same with you, Joel. 320 00:14:32,200 --> 00:14:34,120 Speaker 4: And we've answered that one definitively. I think I have 321 00:14:34,240 --> 00:14:37,040 Speaker 4: married my mother. Sounds like you're exactly the same. All right, 322 00:14:37,400 --> 00:14:40,560 Speaker 4: thank you very much, Love you both, and you're dismissed, 323 00:14:41,960 --> 00:14:48,040 Speaker 4: be Jel. There you go. Both nurses are both calm, 324 00:14:48,080 --> 00:14:52,320 Speaker 4: both put up with very annoying husbands, introverts. 325 00:14:54,120 --> 00:14:56,680 Speaker 2: The way they spoke, they're syntax. 326 00:14:57,400 --> 00:14:58,960 Speaker 1: Oh nice, you're picking up on syntax. 327 00:14:58,960 --> 00:15:01,800 Speaker 3: Over theother view, the pacing of the way they talk 328 00:15:02,360 --> 00:15:03,200 Speaker 3: was exactly the same. 329 00:15:03,200 --> 00:15:04,280 Speaker 2: Did you guys not pick up on that? 330 00:15:04,680 --> 00:15:06,840 Speaker 1: No? I wasn't analyzing it like an MI six agent. 331 00:15:06,920 --> 00:15:10,200 Speaker 2: But I can't turn that off. I can't turn that 332 00:15:10,280 --> 00:15:10,760 Speaker 2: off now. 333 00:15:10,800 --> 00:15:12,680 Speaker 3: Honestly, I thought I was watching the movie Looper and 334 00:15:12,760 --> 00:15:14,840 Speaker 3: it was Bruce Willis talking to himself in twenty years. 335 00:15:15,160 --> 00:15:19,720 Speaker 1: I also noted as well that you fed them both 336 00:15:19,800 --> 00:15:24,640 Speaker 1: a lot of compliments mm all the way through. Yeah, 337 00:15:25,120 --> 00:15:29,280 Speaker 1: you're both so patient, you know, both got great nature 338 00:15:30,080 --> 00:15:30,720 Speaker 1: with idiots. 339 00:15:30,880 --> 00:15:31,080 Speaker 5: Yeah. 340 00:15:31,160 --> 00:15:34,200 Speaker 1: Yeah, you self deprecated yourself in front of both of them. 341 00:15:34,440 --> 00:15:35,720 Speaker 1: Your mum was like, I'd like to think I've been 342 00:15:35,760 --> 00:15:37,120 Speaker 1: a good mother, and you're like, oh, of course you've 343 00:15:37,160 --> 00:15:38,400 Speaker 1: been a good mother, are you? 344 00:15:38,520 --> 00:15:40,800 Speaker 2: And are you and your dad both scared of your partners? 345 00:15:41,280 --> 00:15:45,360 Speaker 4: I don't know if we're scared, but we both have 346 00:15:45,440 --> 00:15:49,840 Speaker 4: a wife who would just like oh Steven, oh Joel, 347 00:15:49,960 --> 00:15:51,080 Speaker 4: yeah enough. 348 00:15:51,280 --> 00:15:53,280 Speaker 2: Yeah, and they pull you into line and you love that. 349 00:15:53,680 --> 00:15:56,720 Speaker 4: Yeah, because if my dad and I didn't have someone 350 00:15:56,720 --> 00:15:59,800 Speaker 4: to do that. Yeah, we would go on talking. Yeah, 351 00:16:00,200 --> 00:16:03,760 Speaker 4: so long, so very in fact, it reminds me of 352 00:16:03,840 --> 00:16:10,080 Speaker 4: a story Get the Wife from there. 353 00:16:11,640 --> 00:16:15,240 Speaker 1: So it's so, Joeld, that's amazing because so you you 354 00:16:15,280 --> 00:16:17,880 Speaker 1: are pref you married, you married your mother. So now 355 00:16:17,880 --> 00:16:19,880 Speaker 1: we're going to get into what you were talking about before, 356 00:16:19,880 --> 00:16:22,920 Speaker 1: which is an Oedipus complex, which is which is Freud, 357 00:16:24,200 --> 00:16:27,680 Speaker 1: which is all about the idea. So you know who 358 00:16:27,720 --> 00:16:31,520 Speaker 1: Oedipus was, absolutely, but I believe it's pronounced fraud, by 359 00:16:31,560 --> 00:16:32,320 Speaker 1: the way, not freud. 360 00:16:32,960 --> 00:16:34,080 Speaker 2: Nice Joel, well done. 361 00:16:34,760 --> 00:16:43,040 Speaker 1: Little stab there for the playground stab. I'm back in prep. Fraud, 362 00:16:43,120 --> 00:16:43,680 Speaker 1: not fraud. 363 00:16:43,880 --> 00:16:45,520 Speaker 4: I read his first couple of journals, Freud. 364 00:16:46,080 --> 00:16:49,000 Speaker 1: He did some good stuff. Sim shocking first name Sigmund. 365 00:16:49,520 --> 00:16:53,880 Speaker 1: But anyway, sick guy, sick guy, sick guy. So this 366 00:16:53,960 --> 00:16:55,920 Speaker 1: is this tragic Greek hero we've all heard of an 367 00:16:56,040 --> 00:16:58,080 Speaker 1: Edipis complex, right that you want to have sex with 368 00:16:58,120 --> 00:17:01,520 Speaker 1: your mum? Yeah? Okay, so is this I who's an Joel? 369 00:17:01,560 --> 00:17:03,560 Speaker 1: You're looking like, Yeah, I heard you want to have 370 00:17:03,560 --> 00:17:05,800 Speaker 1: sex with your what? 371 00:17:06,080 --> 00:17:08,400 Speaker 4: No, go on for all those that unlike me, don't 372 00:17:08,440 --> 00:17:09,280 Speaker 4: know what you're talking about. 373 00:17:09,280 --> 00:17:13,600 Speaker 1: Okay, SOI is this tragic? Tragic and tragic Greek figure 374 00:17:13,880 --> 00:17:16,840 Speaker 1: who's who's an orphan? He's an orphan, so he doesn't 375 00:17:16,840 --> 00:17:19,959 Speaker 1: know who his parents are, and then purely through circumstance, 376 00:17:20,000 --> 00:17:22,679 Speaker 1: it's a Greek tragedy. He doesn't know this, but he 377 00:17:22,760 --> 00:17:24,840 Speaker 1: kills his dad and he marries his mom. 378 00:17:24,960 --> 00:17:27,840 Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah. At one point does he lose his eye? 379 00:17:28,400 --> 00:17:29,760 Speaker 1: I think that's just the cyclops? 380 00:17:30,160 --> 00:17:33,840 Speaker 4: Yeah, what in the movie Alexander an eye? 381 00:17:34,840 --> 00:17:35,440 Speaker 1: Does he fight? 382 00:17:36,000 --> 00:17:37,639 Speaker 2: He's blind? At the end, he's blind. 383 00:17:38,080 --> 00:17:40,119 Speaker 1: He could be I never read it. 384 00:17:40,160 --> 00:17:42,520 Speaker 2: Maybe he wanted to gouge his own eyes out because. 385 00:17:43,040 --> 00:17:46,040 Speaker 1: Because he realized, oh wow, interesting, it's the first thing 386 00:17:46,080 --> 00:17:52,280 Speaker 1: i'd do. You probably want to take the eyes out 387 00:17:54,119 --> 00:17:56,680 Speaker 1: my mom? Oh my god, no, you probably would go 388 00:17:56,680 --> 00:18:00,960 Speaker 1: over the eyes. Yeah. Seeing that and experience that, it 389 00:18:01,119 --> 00:18:02,439 Speaker 1: is a shocking story. 390 00:18:02,480 --> 00:18:03,200 Speaker 2: Have you seen the movie? 391 00:18:03,320 --> 00:18:05,800 Speaker 1: He realizes, I don't know why his mom doesn't pythey 392 00:18:05,840 --> 00:18:08,199 Speaker 1: in you know, when he's got the Barry White on 393 00:18:08,280 --> 00:18:09,880 Speaker 1: in the corner and a couple of glasses of. 394 00:18:09,880 --> 00:18:16,959 Speaker 8: Champagne, She's like, I need to tell you something, silent, 395 00:18:18,680 --> 00:18:20,359 Speaker 8: I really need to tell you something. 396 00:18:22,040 --> 00:18:25,080 Speaker 2: She didn't know that is know, well, I don't know. 397 00:18:25,280 --> 00:18:27,359 Speaker 1: As I said, I never read it. But you'd like 398 00:18:27,440 --> 00:18:28,200 Speaker 1: to think she didn't know. 399 00:18:28,440 --> 00:18:31,560 Speaker 4: Great treasury is awful, by the way. 400 00:18:31,960 --> 00:18:35,080 Speaker 1: Intense, Yeah, yeah, he got the other ones in mind? 401 00:18:36,000 --> 00:18:36,800 Speaker 4: Is Hercules one? 402 00:18:36,880 --> 00:18:37,760 Speaker 1: Yeah, he's a great. 403 00:18:38,280 --> 00:18:42,360 Speaker 4: Yeah, he lost his powers because he I'm going off 404 00:18:42,359 --> 00:18:46,280 Speaker 4: the Disney Hercules gives up his powers to save the 405 00:18:46,320 --> 00:18:49,800 Speaker 4: woman he loves. But then the guy with the fire 406 00:18:49,880 --> 00:18:54,359 Speaker 4: hair that's voiced by James hades him. It says, ha ha, 407 00:18:55,080 --> 00:18:57,400 Speaker 4: she's dead, but you can't save her, and now you're powerless. 408 00:18:57,400 --> 00:19:00,760 Speaker 4: Now I'm going to take over. Yeah, and that the 409 00:19:00,880 --> 00:19:02,080 Speaker 4: meaning of that Greek tragedy. 410 00:19:02,280 --> 00:19:03,960 Speaker 2: Who did that deal for Hercules? 411 00:19:03,960 --> 00:19:06,280 Speaker 1: That's a shocking Now this is going to get Don't 412 00:19:06,280 --> 00:19:07,960 Speaker 1: you get me into Disney's villain deals because you know, 413 00:19:08,000 --> 00:19:10,080 Speaker 1: I'm going to start talking about that little mermaid little 414 00:19:10,480 --> 00:19:11,200 Speaker 1: makes for her luck. 415 00:19:11,720 --> 00:19:12,320 Speaker 4: Don't you deal? 416 00:19:12,520 --> 00:19:15,440 Speaker 1: Don't you deare? Don't you deal? Don't you dare? 417 00:19:15,480 --> 00:19:16,360 Speaker 2: It happens every day? 418 00:19:16,440 --> 00:19:17,200 Speaker 5: Oh my god? 419 00:19:18,200 --> 00:19:20,640 Speaker 1: On Revision is History and Malcolm Gladwell, that's a great 420 00:19:20,640 --> 00:19:23,280 Speaker 1: episode on another podcast. There's me representing another podcast on 421 00:19:23,320 --> 00:19:24,520 Speaker 1: that podcast again? What's that? 422 00:19:24,760 --> 00:19:25,920 Speaker 4: Was the Hercules one? Close? 423 00:19:26,200 --> 00:19:28,640 Speaker 1: Yeah? Look, I don't know the ins and outs of Hercules. 424 00:19:28,960 --> 00:19:30,960 Speaker 1: I'm sure the Disney thing was based on It's the 425 00:19:31,000 --> 00:19:35,639 Speaker 1: next episode anyway. So so Edip says this moment after 426 00:19:35,920 --> 00:19:37,760 Speaker 1: his mom tries to tell him multiple times that she 427 00:19:37,920 --> 00:19:40,359 Speaker 1: is his mom, he sleeps with his mum, and he 428 00:19:40,440 --> 00:19:44,040 Speaker 1: kills his dad. So the edip Is complex that Freud 429 00:19:44,920 --> 00:19:50,120 Speaker 1: talks about is that essentially a boy when they're born 430 00:19:50,160 --> 00:19:53,239 Speaker 1: into the world, feels as if they are competing with 431 00:19:53,280 --> 00:19:57,400 Speaker 1: their father for possession of their mother. So your mother, 432 00:19:57,520 --> 00:19:59,240 Speaker 1: because you form this relationship with your mum, and your 433 00:19:59,280 --> 00:20:00,800 Speaker 1: mother's the first person that you fall in love with, 434 00:20:01,680 --> 00:20:04,960 Speaker 1: and a girl, a girl feels that she is competing 435 00:20:05,000 --> 00:20:07,200 Speaker 1: with her mother for her father's affections. 436 00:20:07,760 --> 00:20:08,760 Speaker 2: Ah. 437 00:20:08,880 --> 00:20:12,120 Speaker 1: Yes, And according to Freud, children view their same sex 438 00:20:12,240 --> 00:20:15,919 Speaker 1: parent as a rival for the opposite sexes parents attentions 439 00:20:15,920 --> 00:20:16,639 Speaker 1: and affections. 440 00:20:17,119 --> 00:20:17,639 Speaker 4: Bloody. 441 00:20:18,200 --> 00:20:20,480 Speaker 1: So that's an Oedipus complex, right, So you get born 442 00:20:20,520 --> 00:20:23,520 Speaker 1: into it, and because that first relationship is so heavily 443 00:20:23,560 --> 00:20:27,080 Speaker 1: informed for you, that means that this if you don't 444 00:20:27,440 --> 00:20:30,119 Speaker 1: resolve what he calls resolve your Oedipus complex, which is 445 00:20:30,600 --> 00:20:33,440 Speaker 1: identify with the fact that the other parent is your 446 00:20:33,480 --> 00:20:35,520 Speaker 1: parent and they're not somebody that you should be threatened by. 447 00:20:35,960 --> 00:20:39,520 Speaker 1: An unresolved Oedipus complex leads to challenges in maturing in 448 00:20:39,560 --> 00:20:43,960 Speaker 1: adult romantic relationships, conflict with same sex competitiveness, and psychoanalysis. 449 00:20:44,000 --> 00:20:49,920 Speaker 1: Focus focuses on helping resolve these complexes. Of course, so 450 00:20:50,119 --> 00:20:53,200 Speaker 1: it's a pretty wild thing that can happen if. 451 00:20:53,040 --> 00:20:56,280 Speaker 3: You don't resolve it. You know, if you haven't resolved 452 00:20:56,320 --> 00:20:57,600 Speaker 3: it just asking for a friend. 453 00:21:02,720 --> 00:21:04,880 Speaker 1: It's a really interesting thing to explore. I think it's 454 00:21:04,880 --> 00:21:05,520 Speaker 1: a really interesting thing. 455 00:21:05,840 --> 00:21:08,120 Speaker 3: Becau, wouldn't you argue that you haven't resolved that if 456 00:21:08,119 --> 00:21:09,840 Speaker 3: no offense, Joel, you've married your mother. 457 00:21:10,400 --> 00:21:12,199 Speaker 2: What do you mean by resolved it? 458 00:21:12,440 --> 00:21:14,199 Speaker 3: Because this whole the pole point of this podcast is 459 00:21:14,200 --> 00:21:16,160 Speaker 3: that we all do it, we all marry. 460 00:21:16,160 --> 00:21:18,920 Speaker 1: Yes the woman, all the because it is that informans, 461 00:21:18,960 --> 00:21:20,720 Speaker 1: because that informs your first relationship. 462 00:21:20,840 --> 00:21:24,159 Speaker 2: So that's not resolving it. That's following it, isn't it. 463 00:21:24,240 --> 00:21:27,359 Speaker 1: So Freud says that the conflict is with the same 464 00:21:27,440 --> 00:21:30,239 Speaker 1: sex parent, or I suppose if you're a homosexual, then 465 00:21:30,400 --> 00:21:33,280 Speaker 1: the parent that you're not attracted to, that's where the 466 00:21:33,320 --> 00:21:35,679 Speaker 1: conflict is, right, Yeah, yeah, yeah. So he says that 467 00:21:35,720 --> 00:21:37,480 Speaker 1: you need to identify with the fact that they are 468 00:21:37,560 --> 00:21:39,840 Speaker 1: your parent and they are actually loving you. They're not 469 00:21:39,920 --> 00:21:42,320 Speaker 1: a sexual threat. They're not a sexual threat to you. 470 00:21:42,359 --> 00:21:46,960 Speaker 3: So the resolve is Dad, chill man, I'm not trying 471 00:21:47,000 --> 00:21:47,800 Speaker 3: to hook up with mum. 472 00:21:48,160 --> 00:21:52,040 Speaker 1: No, no, no, The result is the result is dad, Dad. 473 00:21:52,640 --> 00:21:56,160 Speaker 1: I realized that, Dad, you're not threatening my relationship with mum. 474 00:21:56,359 --> 00:21:57,560 Speaker 2: Oh this is different. 475 00:21:57,960 --> 00:22:02,080 Speaker 1: Yes, this is different. You guys do not a sexual threat. Yeah, Okay, 476 00:22:02,119 --> 00:22:02,760 Speaker 1: do you get that? 477 00:22:03,200 --> 00:22:04,320 Speaker 2: Yes, I do, Yes, I do get that. 478 00:22:04,400 --> 00:22:07,040 Speaker 1: Yeah, So you're not threatening this because I remember the 479 00:22:07,080 --> 00:22:10,200 Speaker 1: reason I outlined how special and I went to pains 480 00:22:10,240 --> 00:22:12,879 Speaker 1: of talking about the size of a chimp's ass is 481 00:22:12,920 --> 00:22:17,760 Speaker 1: because the baby's brain is so vulnerable that that relationship 482 00:22:17,800 --> 00:22:20,359 Speaker 1: is everything. You've got neurons that are devoted to making 483 00:22:20,400 --> 00:22:23,720 Speaker 1: sure that relationship is stable. So anything that threatens that, 484 00:22:24,040 --> 00:22:26,280 Speaker 1: if you feel like you're going to threaten their relationship 485 00:22:26,320 --> 00:22:29,919 Speaker 1: with your mom, yes, so Freud, it's obsessed with sex. 486 00:22:30,119 --> 00:22:33,080 Speaker 1: So he immediately makes this sexual. He says, the relationship 487 00:22:33,119 --> 00:22:36,560 Speaker 1: with your mum is the first sexual relationship that you have. 488 00:22:36,760 --> 00:22:36,960 Speaker 2: Yeah. 489 00:22:37,040 --> 00:22:39,399 Speaker 1: Sure, And as a result, if you don't resolve the 490 00:22:39,480 --> 00:22:41,359 Speaker 1: fact that your father's not threatening you, you will have 491 00:22:41,400 --> 00:22:44,280 Speaker 1: issues with men, and as a result, with your mother 492 00:22:44,359 --> 00:22:45,320 Speaker 1: for the rest of your life. 493 00:22:45,800 --> 00:22:52,120 Speaker 4: Wow, Boys with mummy issues is another wild, deep, dark, 494 00:22:52,160 --> 00:22:52,960 Speaker 4: disturbing chat. 495 00:22:53,040 --> 00:22:53,960 Speaker 2: Will you want to speak to that? 496 00:22:54,400 --> 00:22:56,080 Speaker 1: Yeah? Well this is this is the whole This is 497 00:22:56,119 --> 00:22:59,040 Speaker 1: the whole part is it gets into the mummy issue 498 00:22:59,080 --> 00:23:03,880 Speaker 1: thing hand giveing me too sex as being too sex not. 499 00:23:03,840 --> 00:23:07,880 Speaker 4: Being a mummy's boy, but having like like bad mummy issues. 500 00:23:08,920 --> 00:23:14,080 Speaker 3: What's a bad mummy You know, what's a bad mummy issue? 501 00:23:14,240 --> 00:23:18,359 Speaker 4: Like constantly trying to like impress your mother or like 502 00:23:18,720 --> 00:23:21,280 Speaker 4: never being able to please your mother and therefore resenting 503 00:23:21,280 --> 00:23:24,640 Speaker 4: yourself and you know, like strange mummy issues. You see 504 00:23:24,640 --> 00:23:27,040 Speaker 4: people have that, Like, Yes, so. 505 00:23:27,600 --> 00:23:30,080 Speaker 1: Girls that don't fix it get daddy issues and boys 506 00:23:30,080 --> 00:23:32,040 Speaker 1: that don't fix it get mummy issues exactly. 507 00:23:32,119 --> 00:23:34,359 Speaker 4: So what's so daddy issues? 508 00:23:34,400 --> 00:23:37,760 Speaker 3: Sorry, just to knuckle in there, I've always heard that 509 00:23:37,880 --> 00:23:41,080 Speaker 3: term thrown around a bit. But daddy issues you're doing 510 00:23:41,119 --> 00:23:43,480 Speaker 3: things to deliberately like. 511 00:23:43,520 --> 00:23:48,720 Speaker 1: For girls off boys, for girls, for girls, heterosexual girls, girls, 512 00:23:48,760 --> 00:23:50,520 Speaker 1: to piss off your dad to get his attention. 513 00:23:50,640 --> 00:23:52,480 Speaker 2: Is that? Is that? The is that daddy issues? 514 00:23:52,600 --> 00:23:57,840 Speaker 1: You're you're you're so obsessed with your you become what 515 00:23:57,960 --> 00:24:01,520 Speaker 1: Freud calls father fixated so you get you get so 516 00:24:02,000 --> 00:24:03,800 Speaker 1: obsessed with the fact that your mother's a threat to 517 00:24:03,880 --> 00:24:07,520 Speaker 1: your father that you cling to your father, right, yeah, 518 00:24:07,600 --> 00:24:10,000 Speaker 1: so you haven't, you have an issue, and often you'll 519 00:24:10,000 --> 00:24:11,760 Speaker 1: put him on a pedestal. You won't care what he 520 00:24:11,800 --> 00:24:14,399 Speaker 1: does to you because he's the omega. 521 00:24:14,560 --> 00:24:17,720 Speaker 3: And then does that lead to then those women in 522 00:24:17,760 --> 00:24:23,800 Speaker 3: this particular circumstance finding a guy that is like eerily similar. 523 00:24:23,760 --> 00:24:26,600 Speaker 1: Exactly right Woods. So that's the next step in all 524 00:24:26,640 --> 00:24:28,480 Speaker 1: of this, the next step in all of this, And 525 00:24:28,520 --> 00:24:30,440 Speaker 1: this is the because, as I said before, the really 526 00:24:30,520 --> 00:24:32,439 Speaker 1: the really tough part about this problem is often we 527 00:24:32,520 --> 00:24:35,040 Speaker 1: have issues with our parents where you go like, oh, 528 00:24:35,080 --> 00:24:38,000 Speaker 1: gee whiz, I'm really scared of you for you know X, 529 00:24:38,119 --> 00:24:40,240 Speaker 1: Y and Z. You threaten me, you undermine me, whatever 530 00:24:40,280 --> 00:24:41,720 Speaker 1: it is. So in the back of your head you're like, 531 00:24:41,720 --> 00:24:44,080 Speaker 1: I'm never gonna be with that person ever again. And 532 00:24:44,119 --> 00:24:46,680 Speaker 1: this goes into what they call there are three sorts 533 00:24:46,720 --> 00:24:49,600 Speaker 1: of attachments that develop with your mum or your your 534 00:24:49,680 --> 00:24:53,640 Speaker 1: primary caregiver. At that age, they are securely attached. Securely attached, 535 00:24:54,040 --> 00:24:57,760 Speaker 1: so they're children with loving and consistently attuned moms or dads. 536 00:24:58,280 --> 00:25:00,680 Speaker 1: They see themselves positively when they grow up et cetera, 537 00:25:00,680 --> 00:25:02,440 Speaker 1: et cetera, et cetera. They don't worry about being alone 538 00:25:02,480 --> 00:25:04,560 Speaker 1: or rejected or anything like that. They're fine. Then there's 539 00:25:04,640 --> 00:25:10,440 Speaker 1: insecurely attached. Children have inconsistently attentive and attuned mothers develop anxious, 540 00:25:10,560 --> 00:25:15,520 Speaker 1: ambivalent attachments. They're often really tricky to read. But the 541 00:25:15,560 --> 00:25:17,879 Speaker 1: hardest ones are those who got neglected or they've got 542 00:25:17,920 --> 00:25:21,320 Speaker 1: hostile primary caregivers and they become avoidantly attached. 543 00:25:21,560 --> 00:25:22,240 Speaker 2: What does that mean? 544 00:25:23,000 --> 00:25:26,320 Speaker 1: So that means that as they grow up the relationships 545 00:25:26,359 --> 00:25:28,880 Speaker 1: that they find it really hard to connect with anyone. 546 00:25:29,080 --> 00:25:32,439 Speaker 1: They've got terrifying fears of abandonment. They never let anyone 547 00:25:32,480 --> 00:25:34,840 Speaker 1: get close to them because they didn't get to form 548 00:25:34,880 --> 00:25:38,560 Speaker 1: their first love. They didn't get to have the script 549 00:25:38,960 --> 00:25:40,520 Speaker 1: for the rest of their relationships. 550 00:25:40,640 --> 00:25:42,000 Speaker 2: Such a balancing act, isn't it. 551 00:25:42,000 --> 00:25:43,960 Speaker 3: I know you're the only parent here, Joel, but like 552 00:25:44,160 --> 00:25:46,200 Speaker 3: it must be hard to go like am I giving 553 00:25:46,200 --> 00:25:46,880 Speaker 3: too much love? 554 00:25:46,880 --> 00:25:48,280 Speaker 2: Am I giving not enough love? 555 00:25:48,480 --> 00:25:48,560 Speaker 1: Like? 556 00:25:48,640 --> 00:25:52,480 Speaker 4: Oh, you battle it, you battle it every day like you. Yeah, 557 00:25:52,680 --> 00:25:55,680 Speaker 4: it's it's am I being too strict? Right, No, I've 558 00:25:55,680 --> 00:25:57,199 Speaker 4: got to give them freedom because you don't want to 559 00:25:57,200 --> 00:25:59,679 Speaker 4: be that person that says, don't jump in that puddle. 560 00:25:59,800 --> 00:25:59,919 Speaker 9: Right. 561 00:26:00,240 --> 00:26:03,240 Speaker 4: I think Neil de grass Tyson says in a podcast 562 00:26:03,280 --> 00:26:06,520 Speaker 4: that he was like whenever he sees that, he's like, let. 563 00:26:06,480 --> 00:26:08,120 Speaker 1: The kid jump in the puddle. 564 00:26:08,320 --> 00:26:12,040 Speaker 4: Oh really yeah, because he just gets frustrated with like overparenting. 565 00:26:12,080 --> 00:26:13,920 Speaker 4: But then you've got to find that blurry line in 566 00:26:13,960 --> 00:26:16,480 Speaker 4: the middle there, which is you know, because you. 567 00:26:16,440 --> 00:26:19,280 Speaker 1: Remember actually a little bit like what Frank was speaking 568 00:26:19,280 --> 00:26:22,040 Speaker 1: about on the child episode where he was like divorcing 569 00:26:22,080 --> 00:26:24,960 Speaker 1: the child doing from child being. You have to be 570 00:26:24,960 --> 00:26:27,480 Speaker 1: able to say, like, hey, jumping into puddles fine, I 571 00:26:27,520 --> 00:26:29,879 Speaker 1: know this is funny jumping in the puddles. Not jumping 572 00:26:29,880 --> 00:26:31,280 Speaker 1: in the puddle is not fine. That's the issue. 573 00:26:31,320 --> 00:26:32,320 Speaker 2: Well, love that you're enjoying. 574 00:26:32,720 --> 00:26:33,480 Speaker 1: Love that you're enjoying it. 575 00:26:33,600 --> 00:26:35,720 Speaker 3: We can get enjoyment somewhere else. Because they've got muddle 576 00:26:35,760 --> 00:26:36,240 Speaker 3: of your clothes. 577 00:26:36,240 --> 00:26:36,840 Speaker 2: That's very annoying. 578 00:26:36,880 --> 00:26:39,119 Speaker 1: You're not a bad person for doing it. No, the 579 00:26:39,160 --> 00:26:40,880 Speaker 1: action is not a good thing to do, but you're 580 00:26:40,920 --> 00:26:41,800 Speaker 1: not bad for doing it. 581 00:26:41,880 --> 00:26:43,800 Speaker 3: But she's even us talking about it weren't quite getting 582 00:26:43,800 --> 00:26:45,600 Speaker 3: the right. So you're in a split second. It's like, 583 00:26:45,640 --> 00:26:48,000 Speaker 3: hang on a second, this equation through my head. 584 00:26:48,560 --> 00:26:50,200 Speaker 2: Fury is tired, you. 585 00:26:50,160 --> 00:26:51,879 Speaker 3: Know, if you've had a hard day at work, like 586 00:26:52,000 --> 00:26:53,959 Speaker 3: you know, yeah, yeah, yeah you can. 587 00:26:54,080 --> 00:26:55,919 Speaker 1: And Frank said in the thing as well, he was like, 588 00:26:55,920 --> 00:26:57,439 Speaker 1: if I didn't have my hands full, he was like, 589 00:26:57,440 --> 00:26:59,040 Speaker 1: I was really lucky that I actually had my hands 590 00:26:59,040 --> 00:27:01,200 Speaker 1: for sorry, talking about my Girlfrid's dad. He's on the 591 00:27:01,200 --> 00:27:03,480 Speaker 1: Inner Child episode. If you haven't listened to it, you've busted. 592 00:27:03,680 --> 00:27:04,320 Speaker 4: Where have you been? 593 00:27:04,840 --> 00:27:07,639 Speaker 1: Episode three, episode two? Maybe, But Frank said if he 594 00:27:07,640 --> 00:27:09,200 Speaker 1: didn't have his hands full, he got home from work 595 00:27:09,240 --> 00:27:11,400 Speaker 1: and he was like, oh my god, all I want 596 00:27:11,400 --> 00:27:13,760 Speaker 1: to do is smack you. But I had two briefcases 597 00:27:13,800 --> 00:27:15,240 Speaker 1: under my arm, so I couldn't. So I'd go and 598 00:27:15,240 --> 00:27:16,879 Speaker 1: put them down. Then I've got a chance to go like, 599 00:27:16,920 --> 00:27:19,840 Speaker 1: all right, okay, don't tell the girls they're bad. They're 600 00:27:19,880 --> 00:27:20,920 Speaker 1: bad for painting the walls. 601 00:27:20,960 --> 00:27:22,240 Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, yeah, take a breath. 602 00:27:22,560 --> 00:27:25,720 Speaker 1: So so there are all the different forms of attachment. 603 00:27:25,720 --> 00:27:27,960 Speaker 1: So you've got the security attached, in securely attached, avoidantly 604 00:27:27,960 --> 00:27:31,359 Speaker 1: attached woods. This is where Freud gets a bit wild. Freud. 605 00:27:31,440 --> 00:27:33,160 Speaker 1: Freud is wild, and this is the thing that I've 606 00:27:33,160 --> 00:27:35,159 Speaker 1: actually brought this week. So if you could play this 607 00:27:35,240 --> 00:27:36,119 Speaker 1: for me, please. 608 00:27:35,920 --> 00:27:39,840 Speaker 6: Joe anyway, it's it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's. 609 00:27:39,960 --> 00:27:46,040 Speaker 4: Let's let's let's just leave that behind you. Ain't that audio. 610 00:27:49,520 --> 00:27:54,280 Speaker 1: Away? That the a boy has to confront the idea 611 00:27:54,520 --> 00:27:57,600 Speaker 1: of his dad being a sexual threat to him, according 612 00:27:57,640 --> 00:28:01,199 Speaker 1: to Freud, According to Freud, oh yeah. According to Freud, 613 00:28:01,560 --> 00:28:04,639 Speaker 1: the boy then experienced what is called and I quote 614 00:28:04,800 --> 00:28:08,800 Speaker 1: castration anxiety, which is a fear of both literal and 615 00:28:08,920 --> 00:28:14,639 Speaker 1: figurative emasculation. Freud believed that as the child becomes aware 616 00:28:14,720 --> 00:28:19,040 Speaker 1: of the physical difference between males and females, he assumes 617 00:28:19,080 --> 00:28:22,080 Speaker 1: that the female's penis has been removed and that his 618 00:28:22,240 --> 00:28:25,920 Speaker 1: father will also castrate him as a punishment for desire 619 00:28:26,000 --> 00:28:26,639 Speaker 1: for his mother. 620 00:28:27,040 --> 00:28:28,840 Speaker 4: Jesus, Freud, that's the fear. 621 00:28:29,000 --> 00:28:30,560 Speaker 1: Did you get your head around that? 622 00:28:30,880 --> 00:28:32,240 Speaker 2: So sorry, I'm slow down. 623 00:28:34,480 --> 00:28:37,480 Speaker 1: It extends this into saying that you are so afraid 624 00:28:37,680 --> 00:28:40,240 Speaker 1: of your dad being a sexual threat to your mum 625 00:28:40,640 --> 00:28:44,800 Speaker 1: that you develop a castration anxiety. 626 00:28:44,920 --> 00:28:46,480 Speaker 2: Because you think you dad's going to trap your texture. 627 00:28:46,520 --> 00:28:49,840 Speaker 1: So you think that your dad has already removed your 628 00:28:49,920 --> 00:28:52,680 Speaker 1: mum's penis because she hasn't got one. So that's the 629 00:28:52,720 --> 00:28:55,240 Speaker 1: first thing that you think to yourself, and then he 630 00:28:55,360 --> 00:28:57,680 Speaker 1: goes on to say that you get worried that your 631 00:28:57,760 --> 00:29:00,000 Speaker 1: dad is then going to remove you. 632 00:29:00,800 --> 00:29:03,160 Speaker 3: Circumcision must be a very anxious time because it's like 633 00:29:03,200 --> 00:29:04,040 Speaker 3: he's coming. 634 00:29:03,800 --> 00:29:17,800 Speaker 9: Through extraordinary extra That's an outrageous theory. 635 00:29:19,480 --> 00:29:21,200 Speaker 1: Which made me think about Harry Potter, because you know, 636 00:29:21,240 --> 00:29:24,320 Speaker 1: in Harry Potter, Harry dies to save his mum. 637 00:29:25,280 --> 00:29:26,760 Speaker 2: Yes, yes, steps in front. 638 00:29:26,520 --> 00:29:30,240 Speaker 1: Of Voldemort goes in to kill his mom. It goes 639 00:29:30,240 --> 00:29:32,880 Speaker 1: in to kill Harry with the Evada cad curse, and 640 00:29:32,880 --> 00:29:35,480 Speaker 1: then it's Harry's mum that saves him. If we put 641 00:29:35,520 --> 00:29:40,920 Speaker 1: that through a Freud analysis, that's just Harry's mum saving 642 00:29:40,920 --> 00:29:46,840 Speaker 1: Harry from having his dick cut off. Voldemort is not 643 00:29:46,880 --> 00:29:49,720 Speaker 1: Harry's dad, No, I know, but if you're in Harry's shoes, 644 00:29:50,280 --> 00:29:53,440 Speaker 1: you'd think it's your dad coming. You're lying in the 645 00:29:54,040 --> 00:29:57,800 Speaker 1: like he's here, He's finally here. He's got castration, anxiety, and. 646 00:29:57,680 --> 00:30:00,239 Speaker 3: He practiced on his face. He's got no no learn 647 00:30:00,280 --> 00:30:01,120 Speaker 3: how to drop a dick off. 648 00:30:01,120 --> 00:30:07,840 Speaker 1: Obviously, following chopped and carried practice testration on his own practice, 649 00:30:07,840 --> 00:30:09,880 Speaker 1: he chopped his nose up. I think I've got this 650 00:30:10,000 --> 00:30:11,040 Speaker 1: covered all right time. 651 00:30:10,920 --> 00:30:13,600 Speaker 4: For you on my face, it's going to be fun. 652 00:30:14,000 --> 00:30:15,000 Speaker 4: Can you stick it back off? 653 00:30:18,280 --> 00:30:21,040 Speaker 1: Yeah? So that is totally well, and that's can I 654 00:30:21,080 --> 00:30:23,400 Speaker 1: just say in all of this like Freud is, and 655 00:30:23,760 --> 00:30:27,200 Speaker 1: Freud is currently and consistently being pro like he's the 656 00:30:27,240 --> 00:30:29,360 Speaker 1: first psychologist that a lot of people based a lot 657 00:30:29,360 --> 00:30:33,320 Speaker 1: of psychological theory behind. He's proved a lot to be wrong. 658 00:30:33,760 --> 00:30:36,640 Speaker 1: These days, a lot of people don't follow Freudian analysis 659 00:30:36,680 --> 00:30:39,920 Speaker 1: of things. It is a very old backward way of 660 00:30:40,000 --> 00:30:41,680 Speaker 1: understanding humans. 661 00:30:41,880 --> 00:30:44,560 Speaker 4: Quoting babies, he's like, when the baby comes out, it 662 00:30:44,960 --> 00:30:49,040 Speaker 4: doesn't he wanted to cut my dick off with my face? Yeah, yeah, yeah, And. 663 00:30:50,920 --> 00:30:52,520 Speaker 1: You're like, there's no studies. 664 00:30:54,720 --> 00:30:56,000 Speaker 4: He steamed your car. 665 00:30:56,240 --> 00:30:58,600 Speaker 1: He said it so totatively as well. He's like a 666 00:30:58,680 --> 00:31:01,880 Speaker 1: sixty five year old German guy and he's just like, yeah, 667 00:31:01,880 --> 00:31:03,800 Speaker 1: it's a baby, sinks. The dad wants to cut his 668 00:31:03,840 --> 00:31:04,280 Speaker 1: stick on. 669 00:31:06,560 --> 00:31:11,920 Speaker 4: And jump onto this coll powered train like it. Yeah, yeah, 670 00:31:11,920 --> 00:31:12,440 Speaker 4: it's insane. 671 00:31:12,440 --> 00:31:15,360 Speaker 1: It's extraordinary. It is amazing the narrative that he builds, though. 672 00:31:15,360 --> 00:31:18,480 Speaker 1: It's fun to think about it and apply it to yourself, Like, 673 00:31:18,560 --> 00:31:20,880 Speaker 1: don't take this as dogma. What we're saying there, but 674 00:31:20,920 --> 00:31:23,480 Speaker 1: it is really interesting to think that, you know, you 675 00:31:23,560 --> 00:31:25,920 Speaker 1: have this relationship with your mum and you fall in 676 00:31:26,000 --> 00:31:27,640 Speaker 1: love with her, she's the first person that you fall 677 00:31:27,640 --> 00:31:28,080 Speaker 1: in love with. 678 00:31:28,200 --> 00:31:28,960 Speaker 4: Yeah yeah, yeah. 679 00:31:29,000 --> 00:31:30,880 Speaker 1: And as a result, and whether you fall in love 680 00:31:30,880 --> 00:31:32,480 Speaker 1: with her or not, with Freud takes it to sex, 681 00:31:32,800 --> 00:31:35,160 Speaker 1: which I don't think you need to. It does get 682 00:31:35,160 --> 00:31:38,040 Speaker 1: to the point where all of a sudden you can 683 00:31:38,120 --> 00:31:41,440 Speaker 1: see how that relationship then informs what you look for 684 00:31:41,480 --> 00:31:43,760 Speaker 1: in other relationships, and then you end up marrying the 685 00:31:43,800 --> 00:31:44,960 Speaker 1: person that raised. 686 00:31:44,720 --> 00:31:48,720 Speaker 2: You, like yeah, yeah, yeah, so natural, yeah absolutely. 687 00:31:48,280 --> 00:31:51,400 Speaker 1: And so I said before, securely attached people, insecurely attached people, 688 00:31:51,400 --> 00:31:54,560 Speaker 1: and avoidantly attached people. So for securely attached people, often 689 00:31:54,560 --> 00:31:56,560 Speaker 1: that means that they don't feel like they're not worried 690 00:31:56,560 --> 00:31:59,360 Speaker 1: about being alone or being rejected, right, So that means 691 00:31:59,360 --> 00:32:02,040 Speaker 1: that they can often seek out people who aren't similar 692 00:32:02,120 --> 00:32:06,520 Speaker 1: to their parents. Insecurely attached people, often it means that 693 00:32:06,560 --> 00:32:08,760 Speaker 1: they're looking for somebody to feed that addiction. 694 00:32:08,880 --> 00:32:09,040 Speaker 7: You know. 695 00:32:09,080 --> 00:32:11,200 Speaker 1: It's like any sort of abuse. You get abused once 696 00:32:11,240 --> 00:32:13,720 Speaker 1: and then you go back for the same thing. It's 697 00:32:13,760 --> 00:32:16,880 Speaker 1: that cycle. Yeah, yeah, yeah, So it makes a lot 698 00:32:16,880 --> 00:32:17,640 Speaker 1: of sense. 699 00:32:17,520 --> 00:32:18,640 Speaker 3: All right, Well, I think this is a good time 700 00:32:18,680 --> 00:32:22,160 Speaker 3: for me to bring in my what I'm bringing to 701 00:32:22,160 --> 00:32:22,800 Speaker 3: today's show. 702 00:32:22,840 --> 00:32:26,160 Speaker 6: And anyway, it's it's, it's, it's, it's, it's it's let's 703 00:32:26,280 --> 00:32:27,520 Speaker 6: let's let's just leave there behind. 704 00:32:30,120 --> 00:32:33,480 Speaker 3: So my first idea fell through. I was going to 705 00:32:33,520 --> 00:32:36,280 Speaker 3: bring onto the show Terry Gibbs. Who is Mims? 706 00:32:36,520 --> 00:32:38,720 Speaker 1: Oh no, dad, where is he? 707 00:32:39,480 --> 00:32:42,600 Speaker 3: To see if you guys thought he and I were similar, 708 00:32:43,560 --> 00:32:46,080 Speaker 3: which I think we are. I didn't think we were 709 00:32:46,120 --> 00:32:49,520 Speaker 3: at the start, but I think we both like a well, 710 00:32:49,520 --> 00:32:50,120 Speaker 3: we're good. 711 00:32:50,000 --> 00:32:51,920 Speaker 2: With that coin. We're both tight asses. Were like a 712 00:32:52,000 --> 00:32:52,480 Speaker 2: cheap bread. 713 00:32:53,280 --> 00:32:55,160 Speaker 3: We love this wine called and Andrew Garret, which we 714 00:32:55,200 --> 00:32:57,600 Speaker 3: found was only twelve dollars and then him just rich 715 00:32:57,640 --> 00:33:01,440 Speaker 3: on it, but he unfortunately was busy. So because that 716 00:33:01,520 --> 00:33:03,960 Speaker 3: fell through, I'm gonna have to take a throw at 717 00:33:04,000 --> 00:33:05,840 Speaker 3: the stump seat and just try and call my mum. 718 00:33:06,520 --> 00:33:08,320 Speaker 2: Because the other side of the equity for me is, 719 00:33:08,640 --> 00:33:11,120 Speaker 2: you guys have heard you know mim. You you've met 720 00:33:11,160 --> 00:33:13,400 Speaker 2: mim having you you've both met mim. So mim is. 721 00:33:13,440 --> 00:33:16,160 Speaker 3: It's really interesting because mim is, I think, on face value, 722 00:33:16,440 --> 00:33:17,920 Speaker 3: quite different to my mum. 723 00:33:18,040 --> 00:33:20,320 Speaker 2: My mum is quite. 724 00:33:20,040 --> 00:33:22,760 Speaker 3: Serious and a bit more reserved, but then as you 725 00:33:22,800 --> 00:33:26,320 Speaker 3: scratch the surface, the fun sort of comes out, whereas 726 00:33:26,360 --> 00:33:29,719 Speaker 3: MIM's very different to that, Mims larger than live and 727 00:33:29,760 --> 00:33:31,320 Speaker 3: you know, lots of fun, et cetera. But then the 728 00:33:31,320 --> 00:33:34,440 Speaker 3: longer I've been with Mim, I've started realizing little things 729 00:33:34,480 --> 00:33:36,840 Speaker 3: that she's doing around the house that is exactly the 730 00:33:36,880 --> 00:33:38,960 Speaker 3: same really as my Mum. Like I'll be in a 731 00:33:39,000 --> 00:33:41,160 Speaker 3: situation where I'm like that, like what that is? 732 00:33:41,200 --> 00:33:41,320 Speaker 1: What? 733 00:33:41,440 --> 00:33:46,040 Speaker 2: Like she clears my bowl or my cup of tea. 734 00:33:46,160 --> 00:33:49,200 Speaker 3: Before I finished it, and I don't know, she gets 735 00:33:49,200 --> 00:33:51,320 Speaker 3: this look in her eye and it's just like you're 736 00:33:51,400 --> 00:33:54,520 Speaker 3: you're on a mission. She's got that she cleans. No, 737 00:33:54,560 --> 00:33:56,400 Speaker 3: it's not cleaning, though. It's this if you have a 738 00:33:56,480 --> 00:33:58,640 Speaker 3: task to do, nothing will get in your way. And 739 00:33:58,640 --> 00:34:00,720 Speaker 3: that is very similar to my mom. It's almost like 740 00:34:00,800 --> 00:34:03,400 Speaker 3: I'm doing this and I don't care that that's a 741 00:34:03,560 --> 00:34:05,880 Speaker 3: it's just an inappropriate time to do that. Yeah, I'm 742 00:34:05,880 --> 00:34:07,800 Speaker 3: going to bash through walls and do it. And Mim 743 00:34:08,120 --> 00:34:10,400 Speaker 3: has that as well. Yeah, that was just an example 744 00:34:10,480 --> 00:34:13,400 Speaker 3: with you know, her doggedness, the doggedness. So anyway, so 745 00:34:13,520 --> 00:34:14,920 Speaker 3: I thought it would just call my mom I'm not 746 00:34:14,920 --> 00:34:15,840 Speaker 3: sure if you don't work or not. 747 00:34:15,920 --> 00:34:17,160 Speaker 2: I don't know if she'll pick up, but I thought 748 00:34:17,160 --> 00:34:17,920 Speaker 2: we could just talked to her. 749 00:34:18,320 --> 00:34:19,239 Speaker 4: I don't want to ask her. 750 00:34:19,239 --> 00:34:20,719 Speaker 1: We all know if anyone listens to it, and what 751 00:34:21,400 --> 00:34:24,759 Speaker 1: you would know that what his mom is notoriously hard 752 00:34:24,800 --> 00:34:26,920 Speaker 1: to get on the phone, and then even harder to 753 00:34:27,040 --> 00:34:28,799 Speaker 1: keep on the phone because she always makes up an 754 00:34:28,800 --> 00:34:30,680 Speaker 1: excuse that she's in clinic and she can't talk. 755 00:34:30,719 --> 00:34:32,680 Speaker 3: She did you send me yourselfie before of the face 756 00:34:32,760 --> 00:34:35,560 Speaker 3: mask he's wearing at work so she could be with 757 00:34:35,600 --> 00:34:36,120 Speaker 3: the patient. 758 00:34:36,200 --> 00:34:38,320 Speaker 4: It's normally the go to line the patient. 759 00:34:39,600 --> 00:34:42,440 Speaker 3: But I want to ask mom if she thinks she 760 00:34:42,719 --> 00:34:44,920 Speaker 3: is very similar to mem I remember the first time 761 00:34:45,000 --> 00:34:48,080 Speaker 3: Mim met Mum. Within ten minutes, my mom gave me 762 00:34:48,120 --> 00:34:51,319 Speaker 3: this signal from across the table of like two thumbs up, 763 00:34:51,480 --> 00:34:54,400 Speaker 3: like she's amazing, right, And my Mom's never done that 764 00:34:54,400 --> 00:34:55,440 Speaker 3: on a first impression like that. 765 00:34:55,480 --> 00:34:57,960 Speaker 2: And I wonder why, yes, because I was. 766 00:34:57,920 --> 00:35:00,480 Speaker 1: Going to say, with my mom, it's almost exactly the 767 00:35:00,560 --> 00:35:02,440 Speaker 1: same thing. As soon as she knew that, sim and 768 00:35:02,520 --> 00:35:04,840 Speaker 1: I just say it, But I reckon she knew she 769 00:35:04,920 --> 00:35:05,480 Speaker 1: was similar to. 770 00:35:06,160 --> 00:35:08,960 Speaker 3: And that's that's what my mom, you're on I've never 771 00:35:09,000 --> 00:35:12,160 Speaker 3: asked you. Yes, yes, so all right, so we're going 772 00:35:12,239 --> 00:35:12,799 Speaker 3: to call my mom. 773 00:35:12,840 --> 00:35:13,640 Speaker 2: Now, have you got a number? 774 00:35:14,440 --> 00:35:19,520 Speaker 4: I don't know your mum's number. No, that was a test. 775 00:35:19,960 --> 00:35:24,799 Speaker 1: That was a test, suspicious of you for weeks. Now 776 00:35:24,920 --> 00:35:30,720 Speaker 1: kilding you, sil Si dog. 777 00:35:31,320 --> 00:35:32,759 Speaker 4: I know it's my lista, but I say her in 778 00:35:32,760 --> 00:35:37,040 Speaker 4: my phone is mel zero four zeros and eight four 779 00:35:37,080 --> 00:35:42,759 Speaker 4: six four six six four six four six six Now boys, yeah, 780 00:35:42,760 --> 00:35:43,919 Speaker 4: it goes with the one now boys. 781 00:35:43,920 --> 00:35:46,480 Speaker 2: Obviously we're not recording the podcast. Was chatting the studio. 782 00:35:48,080 --> 00:35:49,080 Speaker 1: We're not here. 783 00:35:48,760 --> 00:35:49,640 Speaker 2: We are you here? 784 00:35:49,719 --> 00:35:50,080 Speaker 1: I'm here? 785 00:35:50,400 --> 00:35:50,839 Speaker 2: Hey mom? 786 00:35:50,840 --> 00:35:50,960 Speaker 1: Hey? 787 00:35:50,960 --> 00:35:53,479 Speaker 2: You going to twittery? 788 00:35:53,800 --> 00:35:54,040 Speaker 1: Hey? 789 00:35:54,080 --> 00:35:54,759 Speaker 2: Are you at work? 790 00:35:55,560 --> 00:35:55,759 Speaker 6: No? 791 00:35:56,239 --> 00:35:57,839 Speaker 4: Excellent, I've got you at a good time. 792 00:35:58,840 --> 00:35:59,840 Speaker 1: We'll see Hi. 793 00:36:01,480 --> 00:36:03,640 Speaker 2: You're not on air, so don't don't stress. 794 00:36:04,800 --> 00:36:05,319 Speaker 1: No call her. 795 00:36:06,200 --> 00:36:09,640 Speaker 3: I'm calling you in the radio studio because we were 796 00:36:09,680 --> 00:36:12,799 Speaker 3: just talking on air, though, don't worry about it. We 797 00:36:12,800 --> 00:36:15,840 Speaker 3: were just talking about the fact that we always marry 798 00:36:16,280 --> 00:36:19,440 Speaker 3: our mothers. That's like a thing that is well known 799 00:36:19,520 --> 00:36:21,919 Speaker 3: that you always end up marrying your mum. And I've 800 00:36:21,960 --> 00:36:24,640 Speaker 3: never spoken to you before, but remember the night you 801 00:36:24,719 --> 00:36:29,520 Speaker 3: met mim at Tom's birthday. You within I reckon ten 802 00:36:29,520 --> 00:36:32,319 Speaker 3: to fifteen minutes, gave me the biggest like thumbs up, 803 00:36:32,440 --> 00:36:35,560 Speaker 3: like pointed at her and mouthed to me, she's amazing. 804 00:36:36,800 --> 00:36:40,120 Speaker 3: Did you do that because you thought she had similar 805 00:36:40,200 --> 00:36:41,000 Speaker 3: traits to you? 806 00:36:41,520 --> 00:36:43,080 Speaker 7: No, she's completely different to me. 807 00:36:43,680 --> 00:36:47,080 Speaker 2: Interesting, Probably were like her interesting? 808 00:36:47,360 --> 00:36:49,200 Speaker 1: What was different about her to you? 809 00:36:51,080 --> 00:36:56,000 Speaker 7: The facious button? She's crazy, but I love her hard working? 810 00:36:56,360 --> 00:36:57,960 Speaker 1: Do you think that that's something that do you think 811 00:36:58,000 --> 00:37:02,120 Speaker 1: that though that like that's something that you actually possess, 812 00:37:02,520 --> 00:37:07,359 Speaker 1: But like maybe you're like you aspire to more than anything. 813 00:37:09,080 --> 00:37:11,800 Speaker 7: But I probably like friends that are liked that you 814 00:37:12,440 --> 00:37:14,200 Speaker 7: give me candy is Yeah. 815 00:37:14,120 --> 00:37:14,920 Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, that's. 816 00:37:16,360 --> 00:37:18,160 Speaker 1: The woman that you occasionally call on the toilet. 817 00:37:18,840 --> 00:37:19,920 Speaker 5: She's a crazy woman. 818 00:37:20,360 --> 00:37:22,680 Speaker 3: Yeah, she is totally well, she is totally right. But 819 00:37:22,680 --> 00:37:25,560 Speaker 3: I think you're also selling yourself short mum. Like you 820 00:37:25,560 --> 00:37:28,719 Speaker 3: you like I think initially you know, you're a bit 821 00:37:28,760 --> 00:37:30,640 Speaker 3: more reserved, but then once you've had a few drinks, 822 00:37:30,640 --> 00:37:35,839 Speaker 3: you like to get a bit more wild drunk, as 823 00:37:35,920 --> 00:37:38,640 Speaker 3: dad always says, and that's why he loves you. 824 00:37:38,239 --> 00:37:41,640 Speaker 1: So you don't think there's any qualities, but there's obviously 825 00:37:41,680 --> 00:37:42,960 Speaker 1: qualities that you share with me. 826 00:37:43,200 --> 00:37:46,640 Speaker 7: Though she's really hard working and serious about her job. 827 00:37:46,960 --> 00:37:49,200 Speaker 3: Yeah, and you told me as well, you liked that 828 00:37:49,200 --> 00:37:51,160 Speaker 3: she was hard on me at the dinner as well. 829 00:37:52,320 --> 00:37:54,800 Speaker 7: Oh yeah, were you were talking about whizzing off for 830 00:37:54,880 --> 00:37:57,399 Speaker 7: some holiday and she's like, no, I've got a job. 831 00:37:57,960 --> 00:37:58,200 Speaker 1: Yeah. 832 00:37:58,520 --> 00:37:59,480 Speaker 2: Nice, and you liked that? 833 00:38:00,680 --> 00:38:04,719 Speaker 1: Was that the bit though? Is that the moment? No? 834 00:38:06,440 --> 00:38:06,960 Speaker 2: What was that? 835 00:38:07,760 --> 00:38:10,160 Speaker 7: I like to come the start because she's such a nast. 836 00:38:09,960 --> 00:38:11,640 Speaker 2: Girl, you did, she's a river? 837 00:38:12,080 --> 00:38:14,120 Speaker 3: All right, Well, thank you, thank you for thank you 838 00:38:14,160 --> 00:38:16,200 Speaker 3: for calling, I mean, thank you for answering my call. 839 00:38:16,840 --> 00:38:17,680 Speaker 4: I'll speak to you later. 840 00:38:18,160 --> 00:38:19,360 Speaker 7: Is that going to be on the radio? 841 00:38:19,560 --> 00:38:19,880 Speaker 9: No? 842 00:38:19,880 --> 00:38:20,880 Speaker 2: No, no, absolutely not. 843 00:38:24,480 --> 00:38:30,160 Speaker 1: We must go. Thanks really, now, I tell you what 844 00:38:30,400 --> 00:38:33,880 Speaker 1: a couple of things there, First and foremost, that's exactly 845 00:38:33,920 --> 00:38:36,200 Speaker 1: why she liked her, because she's similar to you, because 846 00:38:36,239 --> 00:38:38,840 Speaker 1: she was hard on you and she wanted to work 847 00:38:38,920 --> 00:38:40,600 Speaker 1: instead of you being outrageous. 848 00:38:40,640 --> 00:38:41,279 Speaker 2: Funny, wasn't it. 849 00:38:41,280 --> 00:38:43,719 Speaker 1: She's what she's like. She's always been Your mum has 850 00:38:43,719 --> 00:38:45,319 Speaker 1: always been the one to be like, no, focus on 851 00:38:45,320 --> 00:38:47,160 Speaker 1: your career, focus on your career. Nimmy said that, and 852 00:38:47,200 --> 00:38:47,680 Speaker 1: she was like. 853 00:38:48,560 --> 00:38:50,879 Speaker 3: Yeah, and it's interesting there as a mom just doesn't 854 00:38:50,920 --> 00:38:52,040 Speaker 3: see herself as a fun person. 855 00:38:52,160 --> 00:38:52,800 Speaker 1: Isn't that funny? 856 00:38:52,840 --> 00:38:53,200 Speaker 2: Definitely? 857 00:38:53,239 --> 00:38:54,880 Speaker 1: I tried to. I tried to hint at that at 858 00:38:54,880 --> 00:38:56,359 Speaker 1: the start. I was like, is therey thing that's something 859 00:38:56,400 --> 00:38:58,439 Speaker 1: you aspired to and she was like, no, no, yeah, 860 00:38:58,760 --> 00:39:02,120 Speaker 1: but that I'm mate, there's isn't it. 861 00:39:02,200 --> 00:39:05,400 Speaker 2: And the longer r I'm with him, the more that The other. 862 00:39:05,239 --> 00:39:07,640 Speaker 1: Thing is if you missed out in the last episode, 863 00:39:07,719 --> 00:39:09,799 Speaker 1: I brought up the fact that she calls someone when 864 00:39:09,800 --> 00:39:12,520 Speaker 1: she takes his ship, which your dad which your dad 865 00:39:12,560 --> 00:39:14,560 Speaker 1: brought up in the last episode. 866 00:39:14,280 --> 00:39:17,239 Speaker 3: Said, do not bring that up, and you said it, 867 00:39:17,239 --> 00:39:18,520 Speaker 3: and she she ignored it. 868 00:39:18,600 --> 00:39:21,000 Speaker 1: She was just like moved on, like it didn't happen 869 00:39:21,200 --> 00:39:24,200 Speaker 1: right like him. We need to get your dad to 870 00:39:24,200 --> 00:39:27,759 Speaker 1: his safe house him. We didn't call him immediately. She's 871 00:39:27,800 --> 00:39:30,239 Speaker 1: coming for him. Hey, guys, if you enjoyed the podcast, 872 00:39:31,120 --> 00:39:32,759 Speaker 1: then great. I was going to push you to a 873 00:39:32,800 --> 00:39:36,319 Speaker 1: podcast that's an old habit from the radio show. We'll 874 00:39:36,320 --> 00:39:38,239 Speaker 1: see you next week on one It's next. Thanks Byte