1 00:00:00,200 --> 00:00:02,040 Speaker 1: She's on the Money. 2 00:00:02,160 --> 00:00:19,440 Speaker 2: She's on the Money. 3 00:00:22,840 --> 00:00:25,840 Speaker 3: Hello, and welcome to She's on the Money, the podcast 4 00:00:25,880 --> 00:00:30,080 Speaker 3: for millennials who want financial freedom. My name is Tony 5 00:00:30,160 --> 00:00:32,840 Speaker 3: Lodge and joining me for another shot back money Diary 6 00:00:33,040 --> 00:00:34,320 Speaker 3: is Victoria Divine. 7 00:00:34,360 --> 00:00:35,360 Speaker 1: Thank you for joining me. 8 00:00:35,680 --> 00:00:38,520 Speaker 4: Hello, my love. So today we have a bit. 9 00:00:38,360 --> 00:00:41,320 Speaker 3: Of a colorful money diary, which I think you're going 10 00:00:41,400 --> 00:00:43,800 Speaker 3: to love. But would just like to give a little 11 00:00:43,800 --> 00:00:46,640 Speaker 3: content warning for anybody that we will be chatting about 12 00:00:46,680 --> 00:00:50,519 Speaker 3: financial abuse in today's episode. So if that's something that 13 00:00:50,560 --> 00:00:52,880 Speaker 3: you're not really able to take on at the moment, 14 00:00:52,960 --> 00:00:55,320 Speaker 3: that's totally fine and we will see you next week. 15 00:00:55,720 --> 00:00:59,400 Speaker 4: I love that. Well, let's jump straight in, Tony, could 16 00:00:59,400 --> 00:01:01,720 Speaker 4: you read me out the week's money diarists email? 17 00:01:02,240 --> 00:01:06,039 Speaker 3: All right, here we go, Chieldolfano. I've never had a 18 00:01:06,080 --> 00:01:09,120 Speaker 3: good role model financially. As soon as I hit eighteen, 19 00:01:09,240 --> 00:01:13,120 Speaker 3: I started experiencing financial abuse from my mum. Before the 20 00:01:13,160 --> 00:01:16,160 Speaker 3: age of nineteen, my credit score was totally screwed through 21 00:01:16,200 --> 00:01:18,600 Speaker 3: bills she ran up under my name and she had 22 00:01:18,640 --> 00:01:21,160 Speaker 3: me sign a contract with her when I was fifteen 23 00:01:21,200 --> 00:01:23,360 Speaker 3: that she defected on and ended up running up a 24 00:01:23,400 --> 00:01:26,880 Speaker 3: total of around eight thousand dollars under my name. It 25 00:01:26,959 --> 00:01:29,240 Speaker 3: took a long time to get her to pay these off, 26 00:01:29,280 --> 00:01:31,760 Speaker 3: and an even longer time to fix my credit score. 27 00:01:32,200 --> 00:01:34,800 Speaker 3: I'm about to turn twenty five, and my credit score 28 00:01:34,880 --> 00:01:38,240 Speaker 3: is officially very good. I've always felt super out of 29 00:01:38,280 --> 00:01:41,880 Speaker 3: control and uneducated when it comes to money. Until last year. 30 00:01:42,240 --> 00:01:44,639 Speaker 3: My method was to buy everything I needed or wanted 31 00:01:44,640 --> 00:01:46,520 Speaker 3: as soon as I got paid without looking at my 32 00:01:46,560 --> 00:01:49,200 Speaker 3: bank account, until my card declined, and I'd spend the 33 00:01:49,240 --> 00:01:51,760 Speaker 3: next two weeks until payday feeling sick about the thought 34 00:01:51,800 --> 00:01:55,440 Speaker 3: of money. I've started sex work last year and absolutely 35 00:01:55,480 --> 00:01:58,040 Speaker 3: love it. It's given me the ability to get ahead 36 00:01:58,040 --> 00:01:59,680 Speaker 3: and do the things I need to do for my 37 00:01:59,720 --> 00:02:02,720 Speaker 3: call of life. I'm finally at the point where I'm 38 00:02:02,760 --> 00:02:05,120 Speaker 3: ready to tackle how I manage my money. I have 39 00:02:05,160 --> 00:02:08,280 Speaker 3: an amazing opportunity through sex work to change my life 40 00:02:08,320 --> 00:02:10,880 Speaker 3: and my future, and I don't want to follow in 41 00:02:10,919 --> 00:02:13,560 Speaker 3: my family's footsteps. Wealth here I come. 42 00:02:14,040 --> 00:02:16,080 Speaker 4: Heck, yes, very cool. 43 00:02:17,000 --> 00:02:17,240 Speaker 1: I know. 44 00:02:17,400 --> 00:02:21,559 Speaker 4: Money Diarist on the line as always, Hello, Money. 45 00:02:21,280 --> 00:02:22,760 Speaker 1: Diarist, Hello, how are you? 46 00:02:23,560 --> 00:02:25,880 Speaker 4: I am so good. I'm so grateful that you want 47 00:02:25,880 --> 00:02:28,280 Speaker 4: to share your story with us. To be honest, I'm 48 00:02:28,320 --> 00:02:32,240 Speaker 4: so excited. I have a few questions, but as always, 49 00:02:32,360 --> 00:02:36,919 Speaker 4: we should ask the official questions first. So let's start 50 00:02:36,919 --> 00:02:40,320 Speaker 4: at the top with what is your attitude towards money? 51 00:02:41,360 --> 00:02:43,680 Speaker 1: So I'd say that my attitude towards money has like 52 00:02:43,800 --> 00:02:46,480 Speaker 1: changed a huge amount in like the past like two months. 53 00:02:48,000 --> 00:02:50,440 Speaker 1: I used to think of it as something that like 54 00:02:51,480 --> 00:02:54,079 Speaker 1: I had to fight with in, something that I had 55 00:02:54,120 --> 00:02:56,480 Speaker 1: to like you know, that was a massive stress for me, 56 00:02:57,440 --> 00:03:01,360 Speaker 1: especially because I had literally no if I education at all. 57 00:03:03,080 --> 00:03:06,440 Speaker 1: But nowadays I've learned to see it as a tool 58 00:03:06,480 --> 00:03:10,560 Speaker 1: to get myself where I want to go, and educating 59 00:03:10,560 --> 00:03:13,000 Speaker 1: myself has been like super empowering when it comes to that. 60 00:03:13,600 --> 00:03:16,800 Speaker 4: I love that. That seems really recent, like two months. 61 00:03:17,160 --> 00:03:19,840 Speaker 4: Your money story is changing, and we are catching you 62 00:03:19,919 --> 00:03:20,800 Speaker 4: while it's happening. 63 00:03:20,880 --> 00:03:22,320 Speaker 1: How I sent it in. 64 00:03:23,880 --> 00:03:27,000 Speaker 4: I'm so excited, all right. So next question is what 65 00:03:27,040 --> 00:03:29,120 Speaker 4: do you do for work and how much money do 66 00:03:29,200 --> 00:03:29,680 Speaker 4: you earn? 67 00:03:30,240 --> 00:03:33,560 Speaker 1: So I have a day job in retail, which I 68 00:03:33,639 --> 00:03:38,000 Speaker 1: earn about seventeen grand from a year, and then I 69 00:03:38,040 --> 00:03:40,520 Speaker 1: am a full service sex worker and I also do 70 00:03:40,680 --> 00:03:44,960 Speaker 1: sex work online as well. Cool. I actually don't know 71 00:03:45,000 --> 00:03:47,839 Speaker 1: how much I earn from sex work because with sex 72 00:03:47,880 --> 00:03:50,600 Speaker 1: work you get paid in cash, and so cash doesn't 73 00:03:50,600 --> 00:03:53,280 Speaker 1: work for me because cash is just it just disappears 74 00:03:53,320 --> 00:03:56,160 Speaker 1: and then it's never existed. So I literally have no 75 00:03:56,240 --> 00:03:58,080 Speaker 1: idea how much I earned for the first year of 76 00:03:58,120 --> 00:04:02,360 Speaker 1: doing sex work, but there is a huge variance depending 77 00:04:02,360 --> 00:04:06,680 Speaker 1: on the season. Like in June I made a total 78 00:04:06,760 --> 00:04:11,120 Speaker 1: of three hundred and sixty five and then last week 79 00:04:11,200 --> 00:04:14,560 Speaker 1: I made eight hundred dollars before tax, so it's all 80 00:04:14,600 --> 00:04:18,200 Speaker 1: over the place. It's been very difficult to kind of 81 00:04:18,320 --> 00:04:21,000 Speaker 1: understand how much I've made in what I've done with 82 00:04:21,080 --> 00:04:24,240 Speaker 1: my money because I have no idea, but I'm tracking 83 00:04:24,279 --> 00:04:27,040 Speaker 1: it now and that's what matters important. 84 00:04:27,160 --> 00:04:30,640 Speaker 4: I love that next question is what is currently your 85 00:04:30,680 --> 00:04:31,880 Speaker 4: big money goal. 86 00:04:33,440 --> 00:04:38,080 Speaker 1: Honestly, I don't know. So since I started like following 87 00:04:38,120 --> 00:04:39,839 Speaker 1: shoes on the money, my big money goal was to 88 00:04:39,839 --> 00:04:44,120 Speaker 1: get an emergency fund. And I was actually lucky enough 89 00:04:44,160 --> 00:04:47,120 Speaker 1: to receive a payment like a payout for an injury 90 00:04:47,160 --> 00:04:50,279 Speaker 1: that I have, which gave me my entire emergency fund 91 00:04:50,360 --> 00:04:52,240 Speaker 1: for three months. And also I got a new bed, 92 00:04:52,279 --> 00:04:56,160 Speaker 1: which is excellent, and so now I really don't know. 93 00:04:56,480 --> 00:04:58,839 Speaker 1: I was thinking about property, and literally the only reason 94 00:04:58,839 --> 00:05:00,320 Speaker 1: I want to buy houses so that I can have 95 00:05:00,360 --> 00:05:01,760 Speaker 1: a dog. That's it. 96 00:05:02,160 --> 00:05:06,080 Speaker 4: That was my motivation to my friend. Literally, my partner 97 00:05:06,160 --> 00:05:07,680 Speaker 4: wanted to buy a house because it was a part 98 00:05:07,720 --> 00:05:10,120 Speaker 4: of his goals and things he wanted to do, and 99 00:05:10,160 --> 00:05:13,200 Speaker 4: I just wanted to invest in shares. But I lived 100 00:05:13,240 --> 00:05:15,600 Speaker 4: in a rental and knew that a dog would be, 101 00:05:15,800 --> 00:05:18,359 Speaker 4: you know, a bit challenging unless we owned. So the 102 00:05:18,440 --> 00:05:21,240 Speaker 4: reason I was literally so motivated to say for a 103 00:05:21,279 --> 00:05:23,480 Speaker 4: home deposit was so that I could get a dog. 104 00:05:23,720 --> 00:05:26,120 Speaker 4: And look at me. Now, I'm living my best life. 105 00:05:26,200 --> 00:05:30,880 Speaker 4: I have a dog. Guys, Yes you do. All right. 106 00:05:30,960 --> 00:05:33,560 Speaker 4: So next question, because this is absolutely not about me, 107 00:05:33,680 --> 00:05:35,760 Speaker 4: but if you want to talk more about dogs, here 108 00:05:35,800 --> 00:05:39,200 Speaker 4: for that too. Next question is do you currently have 109 00:05:39,400 --> 00:05:41,040 Speaker 4: any investments? Oh? 110 00:05:41,080 --> 00:05:44,280 Speaker 1: Yes, so I'm very excited about this O. So I 111 00:05:44,360 --> 00:05:47,839 Speaker 1: started on visiting with Cheersey's just as like a way 112 00:05:47,920 --> 00:05:50,839 Speaker 1: to kind of learn how it works. I still don't 113 00:05:50,839 --> 00:05:52,640 Speaker 1: really understand how it works, but I keep doing it 114 00:05:52,680 --> 00:05:56,320 Speaker 1: anyway because consistency and longevity. That's what I've been told 115 00:05:56,360 --> 00:05:56,840 Speaker 1: by you. 116 00:05:59,200 --> 00:06:01,640 Speaker 4: I'm glad you are taking what I say is gospel 117 00:06:01,920 --> 00:06:02,719 Speaker 4: very important. 118 00:06:03,000 --> 00:06:04,840 Speaker 1: Well, I mean, what else am I supposed to do? 119 00:06:04,880 --> 00:06:06,200 Speaker 1: I don't know anything about any of it. 120 00:06:06,200 --> 00:06:08,599 Speaker 4: It's probably also why one of your money goals is 121 00:06:08,600 --> 00:06:11,880 Speaker 4: a dog like I like that. That's important. She's taking 122 00:06:11,920 --> 00:06:13,200 Speaker 4: this quite literally, Tony. 123 00:06:13,360 --> 00:06:17,039 Speaker 1: No, that's good, yes, exactly. So I've just started putting 124 00:06:17,040 --> 00:06:21,360 Speaker 1: a little bit into Chersias every fortnight. But I've got 125 00:06:21,400 --> 00:06:24,000 Speaker 1: like my Kiwi saver, I recently changed it. You can 126 00:06:24,080 --> 00:06:26,799 Speaker 1: choose how much you contribute to it, so I recently 127 00:06:27,080 --> 00:06:30,680 Speaker 1: changed it to contribute ten percent of my income. So 128 00:06:30,720 --> 00:06:36,080 Speaker 1: I've got almost eighteen grand in there, which is really yeah, 129 00:06:36,200 --> 00:06:39,560 Speaker 1: really exciting, look at you go. Yeah. And then I 130 00:06:39,600 --> 00:06:42,880 Speaker 1: also recently found out that when I was a kid, 131 00:06:42,920 --> 00:06:45,279 Speaker 1: I had an investment account set up with my EWI. 132 00:06:46,800 --> 00:06:50,800 Speaker 1: So that's something that I've just discovered. I knew, I 133 00:06:50,880 --> 00:06:52,520 Speaker 1: knew there was something there, but I didn't know what 134 00:06:52,560 --> 00:06:57,120 Speaker 1: it was, and it had like one eighty put into 135 00:06:57,120 --> 00:06:59,320 Speaker 1: it like in two thousand and seven, and it's just 136 00:06:59,320 --> 00:07:02,240 Speaker 1: been left alone pretty much and just reinvesting everything on 137 00:07:02,279 --> 00:07:04,480 Speaker 1: its own taking away. So I've got about two grand 138 00:07:04,520 --> 00:07:07,320 Speaker 1: in there, which I didn't know. Really good, yeah, So 139 00:07:07,360 --> 00:07:09,920 Speaker 1: I've started contributing to that every fortnight as well. 140 00:07:10,200 --> 00:07:12,600 Speaker 4: Exciting. It looks like you're on top of that. I 141 00:07:12,640 --> 00:07:14,720 Speaker 4: can't wait to see where you are in twelve months. 142 00:07:14,720 --> 00:07:17,040 Speaker 4: Your turbo charge. This I know out of the water. 143 00:07:17,360 --> 00:07:19,720 Speaker 1: I know. I get obsessed with everything, and this is 144 00:07:19,760 --> 00:07:21,000 Speaker 1: a great thing to get obsessed with. 145 00:07:21,920 --> 00:07:24,200 Speaker 4: I love it, all right. Next question is do you 146 00:07:24,280 --> 00:07:26,200 Speaker 4: currently have any debts? 147 00:07:27,560 --> 00:07:30,760 Speaker 1: I have about five grand on a student loan, but 148 00:07:30,840 --> 00:07:33,680 Speaker 1: other than that, no debt, not a single bit. And 149 00:07:33,720 --> 00:07:34,920 Speaker 1: I'm so proud of myself with that. 150 00:07:35,120 --> 00:07:37,200 Speaker 4: I'm proud of you as well. I bet in your 151 00:07:37,240 --> 00:07:39,360 Speaker 4: face as well, you're like, heck, yes, no debt. 152 00:07:39,640 --> 00:07:41,760 Speaker 1: Yeah, I love that all right. 153 00:07:41,920 --> 00:07:44,760 Speaker 4: Next question is do you use shot back? 154 00:07:45,400 --> 00:07:47,400 Speaker 1: I don't actually know what shotback is. 155 00:07:48,840 --> 00:07:50,720 Speaker 4: Well, if you haven't heard of it, shot back is 156 00:07:50,720 --> 00:07:54,920 Speaker 4: a cashback rewards program that is actually available across Australia Pacific. 157 00:07:55,040 --> 00:07:58,080 Speaker 4: I know that it is very popular in Australia, maybe 158 00:07:58,120 --> 00:08:00,880 Speaker 4: not as much in New Zealand, but hopefully can increase 159 00:08:00,880 --> 00:08:04,000 Speaker 4: the awareness in New Zealand. So essentially, shot back works 160 00:08:04,000 --> 00:08:06,960 Speaker 4: by giving customers a percentage of their purchase money back 161 00:08:07,040 --> 00:08:09,920 Speaker 4: each time they make a transaction with its partner merchants 162 00:08:09,960 --> 00:08:12,920 Speaker 4: through its website. So for each transaction that goes through 163 00:08:12,960 --> 00:08:15,800 Speaker 4: shop back, the merchants actually pay a percentage like a 164 00:08:15,840 --> 00:08:18,680 Speaker 4: referral fee, and then shop back shares that referral fee 165 00:08:18,720 --> 00:08:21,160 Speaker 4: with you, which I think is a pretty good money 166 00:08:21,200 --> 00:08:23,160 Speaker 4: win because it doesn't cost you anything and all you 167 00:08:23,200 --> 00:08:25,480 Speaker 4: do is download the app. Kind of a money win 168 00:08:25,720 --> 00:08:26,880 Speaker 4: if you are an online shop. 169 00:08:27,320 --> 00:08:28,440 Speaker 1: Yeah, he has. 170 00:08:28,800 --> 00:08:31,960 Speaker 4: But let's move on, because I want to know what 171 00:08:32,000 --> 00:08:33,760 Speaker 4: your best money habit is. 172 00:08:35,080 --> 00:08:38,840 Speaker 1: So my best money habit now, I suppose, is educating 173 00:08:38,880 --> 00:08:43,800 Speaker 1: myself like crazy. Yeah, so I'm learning as much as 174 00:08:43,800 --> 00:08:47,440 Speaker 1: I possibly can about literally everything I don't really like, 175 00:08:47,480 --> 00:08:49,920 Speaker 1: I haven't really been doing it long enough to develop 176 00:08:49,960 --> 00:08:53,720 Speaker 1: those good like cash flow habits, for sure, but I 177 00:08:53,760 --> 00:08:55,880 Speaker 1: am doing my best to learn every single thing that 178 00:08:55,920 --> 00:08:58,839 Speaker 1: I can and put that into practice, which I'm already 179 00:08:58,840 --> 00:09:00,000 Speaker 1: seeing the impacts of which. 180 00:08:59,800 --> 00:09:02,480 Speaker 4: Is I mean, but you will get you there. We 181 00:09:02,600 --> 00:09:05,560 Speaker 4: are going to turbo charge your cash flow system. After this. 182 00:09:05,720 --> 00:09:07,559 Speaker 4: You and I are going to have a chat money darrist, 183 00:09:07,679 --> 00:09:07,920 Speaker 4: you and I. 184 00:09:09,559 --> 00:09:12,280 Speaker 3: But you've already got heaps of investments set up. You're 185 00:09:12,360 --> 00:09:15,839 Speaker 3: organizing your Kiwi Saver, which like is your superannuation over 186 00:09:15,880 --> 00:09:18,120 Speaker 3: in New Zealand, and all of those things. I mean, 187 00:09:18,160 --> 00:09:20,680 Speaker 3: it sounds like you're on a pretty good track to me. 188 00:09:20,720 --> 00:09:22,240 Speaker 3: I don't think that you sound like you don't know 189 00:09:22,240 --> 00:09:23,600 Speaker 3: what you're talking about at all. 190 00:09:23,840 --> 00:09:26,080 Speaker 1: Well, when I sent the email, I didn't know what 191 00:09:26,160 --> 00:09:28,880 Speaker 1: I was talking about. But now I've listened to pretty 192 00:09:28,960 --> 00:09:31,920 Speaker 1: much every single episode and read every single thing that 193 00:09:31,960 --> 00:09:35,000 Speaker 1: there is, and I'm doing my best to teach myself 194 00:09:35,000 --> 00:09:35,880 Speaker 1: as much as possible. 195 00:09:36,160 --> 00:09:39,400 Speaker 4: That's as much. I love that so much. All right, 196 00:09:39,520 --> 00:09:42,640 Speaker 4: on the flip side, what is your worst money habit? 197 00:09:43,360 --> 00:09:46,720 Speaker 1: Okay, so I think it used to be just sticking 198 00:09:46,720 --> 00:09:48,480 Speaker 1: my head in the sand and ignoring the fact that 199 00:09:48,480 --> 00:09:51,480 Speaker 1: money existed and just going and buying what I needed 200 00:09:51,559 --> 00:09:55,000 Speaker 1: or wanted and then being stressed out about it. I 201 00:09:55,040 --> 00:09:59,000 Speaker 1: think my worst money habit now is I wouldn't say 202 00:09:59,000 --> 00:10:02,360 Speaker 1: it's like a bad money habit, but I just do 203 00:10:02,400 --> 00:10:05,280 Speaker 1: not know how to manage variable income because it is 204 00:10:05,360 --> 00:10:09,040 Speaker 1: so variable in the sex industry, And there's something that 205 00:10:09,080 --> 00:10:11,120 Speaker 1: I really do struggle with, like when it comes to 206 00:10:11,160 --> 00:10:15,160 Speaker 1: cash flow, because of how variable it is. 207 00:10:15,640 --> 00:10:17,440 Speaker 4: And I think that that's something that a lot of 208 00:10:17,480 --> 00:10:21,440 Speaker 4: people with variable income struggle with. And if you're listening 209 00:10:21,520 --> 00:10:24,679 Speaker 4: along and you struggle with this as well, something that 210 00:10:24,720 --> 00:10:27,080 Speaker 4: I think is really important to remember is always function 211 00:10:27,200 --> 00:10:30,280 Speaker 4: off a base income, So like, what is the least 212 00:10:30,280 --> 00:10:32,440 Speaker 4: amount of money that you will bring in each and 213 00:10:32,480 --> 00:10:35,480 Speaker 4: every single month, and try and budget around that, because 214 00:10:35,520 --> 00:10:37,720 Speaker 4: if you do that, you're going to put yourself in 215 00:10:37,720 --> 00:10:41,000 Speaker 4: a position that everything on top of that it's not cream, 216 00:10:41,160 --> 00:10:43,920 Speaker 4: but it's a bonus, and we can save and invest 217 00:10:44,000 --> 00:10:47,520 Speaker 4: with that money while still completely understanding what our fixed 218 00:10:47,559 --> 00:10:50,040 Speaker 4: costs are and what's coming in and what has to 219 00:10:50,080 --> 00:10:54,000 Speaker 4: go out. So variable income can be really confusing because 220 00:10:54,120 --> 00:10:56,520 Speaker 4: some months you feel really rich and some months you're like, 221 00:10:56,559 --> 00:10:59,240 Speaker 4: oh my gosh, like I have literally no money. And 222 00:10:59,280 --> 00:11:02,160 Speaker 4: it's actually about changing our mindset so that if we 223 00:11:02,200 --> 00:11:04,880 Speaker 4: have a month where it is really prosperous and we 224 00:11:04,920 --> 00:11:07,160 Speaker 4: actually make some extra cash that we didn't think we 225 00:11:07,160 --> 00:11:10,160 Speaker 4: were going to make, it's not about treating ourselves. It's 226 00:11:10,160 --> 00:11:13,280 Speaker 4: actually about protecting future us and going, Okay, cool, I'm 227 00:11:13,320 --> 00:11:15,520 Speaker 4: going to put this one aside because I know in 228 00:11:15,559 --> 00:11:17,200 Speaker 4: a couple of months there's going to be an off 229 00:11:17,240 --> 00:11:19,280 Speaker 4: season and I'm probably going to need that for my 230 00:11:19,320 --> 00:11:22,959 Speaker 4: electricity bill, the top up my groceries, or to pay rent. 231 00:11:23,160 --> 00:11:26,240 Speaker 4: So it's all about understanding your budget and what fixed 232 00:11:26,320 --> 00:11:28,960 Speaker 4: costs you actually have and what the base amount of 233 00:11:28,960 --> 00:11:31,439 Speaker 4: income you need coming in each and every single month 234 00:11:31,600 --> 00:11:35,199 Speaker 4: is and then to finish off my rant. My friends, 235 00:11:35,400 --> 00:11:39,280 Speaker 4: it's about creating an emergency fund that would cover a 236 00:11:39,320 --> 00:11:42,040 Speaker 4: certain amount of months to make you feel really secure. 237 00:11:42,320 --> 00:11:44,680 Speaker 4: So if one month you don't actually bring in the 238 00:11:44,720 --> 00:11:46,959 Speaker 4: income that you thought you would, you go It's fine. 239 00:11:47,040 --> 00:11:49,679 Speaker 4: I've got some stuff off to the side that I 240 00:11:49,720 --> 00:11:52,240 Speaker 4: can pay for my bills with, and I think that 241 00:11:52,240 --> 00:11:54,600 Speaker 4: that's a really good way of functioning. But you and 242 00:11:54,640 --> 00:11:57,440 Speaker 4: I can take this offline, but this podcast is not offline. 243 00:11:57,480 --> 00:12:02,640 Speaker 3: This is for everybody having buffer of your emergency fund 244 00:12:02,720 --> 00:12:05,040 Speaker 3: that you've got worth three months, So that must help 245 00:12:05,360 --> 00:12:09,520 Speaker 3: with that so much. I've been a freelancer in audio 246 00:12:09,880 --> 00:12:12,880 Speaker 3: and I can't do it. I'm just not someone that 247 00:12:13,679 --> 00:12:16,720 Speaker 3: can work on variable income. I just I need to 248 00:12:16,800 --> 00:12:19,320 Speaker 3: know how much is coming in. So I can only 249 00:12:19,360 --> 00:12:21,680 Speaker 3: imagine that having that little buffer is just such a 250 00:12:21,679 --> 00:12:22,280 Speaker 3: big help. 251 00:12:22,720 --> 00:12:26,560 Speaker 1: Yeah, it really is. I suffer from chronic migraines, so 252 00:12:27,280 --> 00:12:30,719 Speaker 1: I find like stress makes them much worse. And as 253 00:12:30,760 --> 00:12:33,040 Speaker 1: soon as I had that emergency fund just sitting there, 254 00:12:33,120 --> 00:12:34,760 Speaker 1: I stop getting migraines every day. 255 00:12:35,280 --> 00:12:37,360 Speaker 4: Oh my gosh, how powerful. 256 00:12:37,600 --> 00:12:41,480 Speaker 1: Literally overnight, it was quite it was really something else. 257 00:12:41,520 --> 00:12:43,480 Speaker 1: And I've never seen more than a thousand dollars in 258 00:12:43,480 --> 00:12:46,800 Speaker 1: my bank account, so seeing three months worth just sitting 259 00:12:46,840 --> 00:12:48,920 Speaker 1: there as like, oh my god, I'm safe now. 260 00:12:49,800 --> 00:12:53,640 Speaker 4: Yeah, and that's crazy. But it's also so powerful to 261 00:12:53,760 --> 00:12:57,000 Speaker 4: realize the impact that money has not only on your 262 00:12:57,200 --> 00:13:00,360 Speaker 4: financial health, but your physical health and you're well and 263 00:13:00,400 --> 00:13:03,200 Speaker 4: your ability to create income in the future. Like, the 264 00:13:03,280 --> 00:13:06,280 Speaker 4: more financially secure you are, the healthier you are in 265 00:13:06,360 --> 00:13:09,120 Speaker 4: every other aspect of your life. And it is crazy 266 00:13:09,320 --> 00:13:11,880 Speaker 4: and it makes no sense that people don't care about 267 00:13:11,880 --> 00:13:15,880 Speaker 4: it more from my perspective, because it could actually put 268 00:13:15,920 --> 00:13:19,760 Speaker 4: you in so much more control, but we don't prioritize that. 269 00:13:20,000 --> 00:13:23,040 Speaker 1: Yeah, being stressed out about money leads to me being 270 00:13:23,120 --> 00:13:25,520 Speaker 1: incapable of actually going out and making more money. 271 00:13:26,720 --> 00:13:29,120 Speaker 4: So that's the rock in a hard place, it really is. 272 00:13:29,559 --> 00:13:32,880 Speaker 1: So having that emergency fund there has been like such 273 00:13:32,880 --> 00:13:33,400 Speaker 1: a blessing. 274 00:13:33,520 --> 00:13:35,559 Speaker 4: I love that, all right. I have so many questions 275 00:13:35,559 --> 00:13:37,760 Speaker 4: for you. But last question in the list of our 276 00:13:37,840 --> 00:13:40,160 Speaker 4: questions is if I forced you to give yourself a 277 00:13:40,200 --> 00:13:42,280 Speaker 4: money grade, what would you give yourself? 278 00:13:43,160 --> 00:13:45,480 Speaker 1: I would probably say about a C plus at the moment, 279 00:13:46,800 --> 00:13:50,200 Speaker 1: like I'm learning, but I haven't done anything yet, you 280 00:13:50,280 --> 00:13:50,800 Speaker 1: know what I mean. 281 00:13:51,360 --> 00:13:53,719 Speaker 3: I feel like you could definitely be a bit more 282 00:13:53,760 --> 00:13:55,199 Speaker 3: generous with your Yeah, I. 283 00:13:55,200 --> 00:13:56,800 Speaker 4: Think so too. What are you doing? 284 00:13:57,240 --> 00:13:59,800 Speaker 1: I mean, it's it's been such a short amount of times. 285 00:14:00,640 --> 00:14:03,079 Speaker 1: I understand. I'm the kind of person who like when 286 00:14:03,160 --> 00:14:05,840 Speaker 1: I get like, when I learn about something, I've become 287 00:14:05,880 --> 00:14:08,640 Speaker 1: passionate about something, I'll just completely blast it and be 288 00:14:08,679 --> 00:14:11,839 Speaker 1: obsessed with it and then I and then I drop it, 289 00:14:11,880 --> 00:14:13,360 Speaker 1: and I don't want to. This is one thing that 290 00:14:13,400 --> 00:14:14,760 Speaker 1: I don't want to drop, and this is one thing 291 00:14:14,800 --> 00:14:15,760 Speaker 1: I don't want to get bored of. 292 00:14:16,640 --> 00:14:18,920 Speaker 4: And it's one of those things that you can actually automate, 293 00:14:19,240 --> 00:14:21,920 Speaker 4: so like it takes the groundwork to set it all 294 00:14:22,000 --> 00:14:24,280 Speaker 4: up and get your bank accounts in order and understand 295 00:14:24,320 --> 00:14:26,920 Speaker 4: your KEYW saver or your superranuation and what you're actually 296 00:14:27,000 --> 00:14:29,680 Speaker 4: trying to create, but we can actually automate all of 297 00:14:29,720 --> 00:14:31,720 Speaker 4: this once all of those things are set up, so 298 00:14:31,800 --> 00:14:33,880 Speaker 4: even if you do drop the ball, there's a really 299 00:14:33,880 --> 00:14:37,040 Speaker 4: great framework for everything to fall back onto. And I 300 00:14:37,080 --> 00:14:39,480 Speaker 4: think that that's the most important thing because so many 301 00:14:39,560 --> 00:14:43,280 Speaker 4: people just assume that financial wellness means putting lots of 302 00:14:43,320 --> 00:14:46,440 Speaker 4: time and energy and effort into it consistently, when in 303 00:14:46,480 --> 00:14:48,800 Speaker 4: reality that's not the case. You actually just have to 304 00:14:48,800 --> 00:14:52,040 Speaker 4: set it up right, create your goals, create your system, 305 00:14:52,280 --> 00:14:55,760 Speaker 4: and it works long term. It's crazy, but it's true. 306 00:14:55,840 --> 00:14:56,400 Speaker 4: I'm sorry. 307 00:14:57,280 --> 00:14:59,120 Speaker 3: And now that you've been on cheese on the money, 308 00:14:59,160 --> 00:15:01,800 Speaker 3: I feel like that's just one of those pillars of 309 00:15:01,840 --> 00:15:05,040 Speaker 3: concrete that you'll be. You'll be financially savvy forever because 310 00:15:05,080 --> 00:15:07,600 Speaker 3: you've talked to Victoria I hope. 311 00:15:07,760 --> 00:15:10,480 Speaker 4: In fact, I heard that all money diarists just go 312 00:15:10,680 --> 00:15:13,920 Speaker 4: upper rank immediately just having been money diarists. So you 313 00:15:14,040 --> 00:15:16,120 Speaker 4: were a C plus, now you're a B plus just 314 00:15:16,120 --> 00:15:17,680 Speaker 4: purely because you're a money direst. 315 00:15:17,800 --> 00:15:20,280 Speaker 1: You know what, I will take it. I will take congratulations. 316 00:15:20,320 --> 00:15:30,160 Speaker 4: Congratulations. Let's chat a little bit after this break. Okay, 317 00:15:30,240 --> 00:15:33,480 Speaker 4: money diarist, we are back, and your money diary is 318 00:15:33,520 --> 00:15:36,040 Speaker 4: a lot to swallow. Like, I don't even know where 319 00:15:36,040 --> 00:15:38,200 Speaker 4: to start. I don't know where to break it down. 320 00:15:38,360 --> 00:15:43,560 Speaker 4: She's laughing. I don't know why, but don't you actually 321 00:15:43,880 --> 00:15:44,120 Speaker 4: I do. 322 00:15:44,440 --> 00:15:47,200 Speaker 5: We're going to start at the very start, and we 323 00:15:47,360 --> 00:15:50,360 Speaker 5: are going to ask you about your relationship with your mum, 324 00:15:50,440 --> 00:15:53,920 Speaker 5: because that seems wild to me that as a minor, 325 00:15:54,320 --> 00:15:57,040 Speaker 5: somebody under the age of eighteen, you could rack up 326 00:15:57,080 --> 00:15:58,840 Speaker 5: debt in your name and you could end up in 327 00:15:58,880 --> 00:16:01,520 Speaker 5: such a sticky situation, and that your mom put you 328 00:16:01,560 --> 00:16:02,479 Speaker 5: in that situation. 329 00:16:02,680 --> 00:16:05,000 Speaker 4: So can you talk to me a little bit about 330 00:16:05,040 --> 00:16:08,160 Speaker 4: how this eventuated? And I guess what your relationship with 331 00:16:08,200 --> 00:16:10,280 Speaker 4: your mama is like now, because I'm sure that that 332 00:16:10,440 --> 00:16:12,120 Speaker 4: is has stuck. 333 00:16:12,920 --> 00:16:17,360 Speaker 1: Yeah, So it all kind of started when my parents 334 00:16:17,840 --> 00:16:20,360 Speaker 1: decided to divorce and Mom and I decided to move 335 00:16:20,520 --> 00:16:24,000 Speaker 1: home to New Zealand from Australia. I think that was 336 00:16:24,080 --> 00:16:26,960 Speaker 1: kind of the start of a slippery slope for Mom. She's, 337 00:16:27,520 --> 00:16:31,040 Speaker 1: at the best of times, super gullible, like you know, 338 00:16:31,120 --> 00:16:34,720 Speaker 1: the whole Nigerian Prince scammers. She was all over that 339 00:16:35,120 --> 00:16:38,240 Speaker 1: when through eBay and all of that kind of stuff 340 00:16:38,280 --> 00:16:40,680 Speaker 1: before we moved back, and once we moved back, she 341 00:16:40,800 --> 00:16:43,960 Speaker 1: was very vulnerable, I want to say, like she met 342 00:16:43,960 --> 00:16:47,040 Speaker 1: a guy online, he flew down to meet her and 343 00:16:47,080 --> 00:16:50,760 Speaker 1: then moved down after meeting her once. This guy is 344 00:16:50,800 --> 00:16:54,680 Speaker 1: a well known scammer with about over one hundred convictions 345 00:16:55,760 --> 00:16:59,120 Speaker 1: and so yes, and this isn't even the main scammer. 346 00:17:00,000 --> 00:17:02,800 Speaker 4: This isn't even the main story. Tony we've just uncovered 347 00:17:02,800 --> 00:17:06,000 Speaker 4: this when our money dires told us before we were 348 00:17:06,040 --> 00:17:09,080 Speaker 4: recording that her story is a triple threat. She wasn't lying, 349 00:17:09,760 --> 00:17:12,280 Speaker 4: So money Dires, how old were you at this point? 350 00:17:13,160 --> 00:17:16,280 Speaker 1: So when we moved back, I was I just turned sixteen, 351 00:17:16,320 --> 00:17:20,160 Speaker 1: and that was when things really started. So the contract 352 00:17:20,160 --> 00:17:22,840 Speaker 1: that I had signed when I was fifteen, I shouldn't 353 00:17:22,840 --> 00:17:25,639 Speaker 1: have signed it, and she shouldn't have let me sign that. 354 00:17:27,280 --> 00:17:30,320 Speaker 1: And then she met another scammer, and it kind of 355 00:17:30,640 --> 00:17:33,879 Speaker 1: it became very much like she met him in person 356 00:17:33,920 --> 00:17:36,800 Speaker 1: once and that was the only time she met him 357 00:17:36,840 --> 00:17:39,560 Speaker 1: in person, and was kind of like in this toxic 358 00:17:39,680 --> 00:17:43,680 Speaker 1: online relationship for about I want to say about six years. 359 00:17:44,440 --> 00:17:48,960 Speaker 4: Gosh, six years in an online relationship with someone super toxic. 360 00:17:49,160 --> 00:17:51,920 Speaker 1: Yes, she was giving all of her income to him 361 00:17:52,960 --> 00:17:56,520 Speaker 1: at certain jobs. She was working under the table so 362 00:17:56,560 --> 00:17:58,480 Speaker 1: that she could just get like, you know, not have 363 00:17:58,520 --> 00:18:03,960 Speaker 1: to worry about tax or anything. And so that really started, 364 00:18:03,960 --> 00:18:06,040 Speaker 1: like she would she sold quite a few assets and 365 00:18:06,080 --> 00:18:10,120 Speaker 1: then invested all of the money in this guy's business. 366 00:18:12,840 --> 00:18:16,560 Speaker 1: And she knew straight away that I was not a 367 00:18:16,600 --> 00:18:19,919 Speaker 1: fan of this guy I have. 368 00:18:20,880 --> 00:18:22,919 Speaker 4: Then it sounds like you had the nouse to know 369 00:18:23,040 --> 00:18:26,080 Speaker 4: that maybe that wasn't kosher, or maybe it wasn't the 370 00:18:26,200 --> 00:18:28,960 Speaker 4: right thing. Even at such a young age. 371 00:18:28,840 --> 00:18:32,640 Speaker 1: I have a very strong intuition, and Mum was very 372 00:18:32,720 --> 00:18:34,239 Speaker 1: much like it, you just don't want me to be 373 00:18:34,240 --> 00:18:39,240 Speaker 1: happy after divorcing your dad, which was like, Mum, that's 374 00:18:39,280 --> 00:18:42,280 Speaker 1: naughty it I actually care a lot about you, yes, exactly, 375 00:18:43,000 --> 00:18:44,960 Speaker 1: like I could not hear less about the divorce. To 376 00:18:44,960 --> 00:18:48,960 Speaker 1: be completely honest, it's better. It's better for everyone. Like 377 00:18:49,160 --> 00:18:53,280 Speaker 1: nobody in the family was happy, especially like myself and Mum. 378 00:18:53,359 --> 00:18:56,160 Speaker 1: We did not want to live in Australia. Sorry, no offense, 379 00:18:57,320 --> 00:18:59,640 Speaker 1: that was fine. Oh my gosh, no, it's too warm 380 00:18:59,640 --> 00:19:00,359 Speaker 1: over there for me. 381 00:19:01,440 --> 00:19:05,440 Speaker 4: I guess. The next question is like, how, like how 382 00:19:05,440 --> 00:19:07,679 Speaker 4: did you end up signing something and how was that 383 00:19:07,760 --> 00:19:09,919 Speaker 4: legally binding it such a young age. 384 00:19:10,240 --> 00:19:13,919 Speaker 1: What it was was Mum decided she wanted to, you know, 385 00:19:14,000 --> 00:19:16,720 Speaker 1: start this business breeding horses, and I was like, well, 386 00:19:16,760 --> 00:19:20,560 Speaker 1: you're chronically ill, so if you die, I want that horse. 387 00:19:20,680 --> 00:19:23,400 Speaker 1: I want that horse, goddamn it. So I signed the 388 00:19:23,400 --> 00:19:28,800 Speaker 1: contract at fifteen. But when Mum defected on the contract 389 00:19:29,119 --> 00:19:31,520 Speaker 1: a few years later when it was going through the 390 00:19:31,520 --> 00:19:35,680 Speaker 1: courts process, she said that she was representing me in 391 00:19:35,800 --> 00:19:39,439 Speaker 1: the process, and I was not there, and she for 392 00:19:39,480 --> 00:19:42,359 Speaker 1: some reason didn't say, hey, my daughter was fifteen when 393 00:19:42,560 --> 00:19:47,480 Speaker 1: she signed that, and so by doing that, by the 394 00:19:47,480 --> 00:19:49,359 Speaker 1: time it had already been through the courts, I went 395 00:19:49,400 --> 00:19:53,600 Speaker 1: through the courts about twice. I think, honestly a large 396 00:19:53,640 --> 00:19:57,800 Speaker 1: part of that is because she she might not have 397 00:19:57,880 --> 00:20:01,560 Speaker 1: just like thought about the consequences of of me being 398 00:20:01,560 --> 00:20:04,679 Speaker 1: a literal minor when I signed that contract. But also 399 00:20:05,480 --> 00:20:08,240 Speaker 1: I don't know if she thought about protecting me at 400 00:20:08,240 --> 00:20:11,760 Speaker 1: all in that situation. So when she defected on the contract, 401 00:20:11,840 --> 00:20:13,920 Speaker 1: it ended up, you know, she was in the wrong 402 00:20:14,080 --> 00:20:18,560 Speaker 1: for sure. Yeah, of course I spoke to community law 403 00:20:18,640 --> 00:20:19,959 Speaker 1: or and that kind of thing to see if there 404 00:20:20,000 --> 00:20:23,240 Speaker 1: was anything I could do. Yeah, and they were like, well, 405 00:20:23,240 --> 00:20:25,720 Speaker 1: it's already been through the courts multiple times, like they've 406 00:20:25,760 --> 00:20:28,720 Speaker 1: decided they've made their choice either way. So I ended 407 00:20:28,800 --> 00:20:30,840 Speaker 1: up because Mum was working under the table because she 408 00:20:30,880 --> 00:20:32,680 Speaker 1: wanted to give all of her money to this scammer. 409 00:20:33,600 --> 00:20:35,880 Speaker 1: I ended up being the only one with like a 410 00:20:36,000 --> 00:20:39,000 Speaker 1: legit job where I pay taxes and all of that stuff. 411 00:20:39,080 --> 00:20:43,200 Speaker 1: So I received a letter to my workplace being like, hey, 412 00:20:43,240 --> 00:20:46,560 Speaker 1: we're taking this money off of you and U I 413 00:20:46,760 --> 00:20:50,480 Speaker 1: was about six grand Oh my gosh, yep, So that 414 00:20:50,600 --> 00:20:53,919 Speaker 1: ended up being garnished from my wages for quite a while. 415 00:20:55,040 --> 00:20:57,239 Speaker 4: And how much, like, sorry, I don't know how that 416 00:20:57,320 --> 00:21:01,480 Speaker 4: works in New Zealand. Obviously that makes a lot of sense. 417 00:21:01,520 --> 00:21:03,960 Speaker 4: But would they take one hundred percent of your wage 418 00:21:04,000 --> 00:21:06,280 Speaker 4: when you worked or would they take a percentage or 419 00:21:06,320 --> 00:21:07,400 Speaker 4: how did that work out? 420 00:21:07,720 --> 00:21:10,919 Speaker 1: So they initially applied to have them take one hundred 421 00:21:10,960 --> 00:21:15,440 Speaker 1: dollars per week, and the courts went, no, that's too much, 422 00:21:15,600 --> 00:21:18,520 Speaker 1: and so they agreed to let them take fifty dollars 423 00:21:18,560 --> 00:21:21,680 Speaker 1: per week, so that automatically gets deducted from my paycheck 424 00:21:21,720 --> 00:21:24,119 Speaker 1: before it even hits my account. So it ended up 425 00:21:24,160 --> 00:21:26,240 Speaker 1: being one hundred dollars a fortnight. And at this time 426 00:21:26,359 --> 00:21:30,040 Speaker 1: I was working part time, not on a living wage 427 00:21:30,280 --> 00:21:33,399 Speaker 1: all of this kind of stuff, So that was a huge. 428 00:21:33,200 --> 00:21:35,520 Speaker 4: Chunk of so much money at that point as well, 429 00:21:35,640 --> 00:21:39,080 Speaker 4: especially because you said before, like your current like full 430 00:21:39,119 --> 00:21:42,640 Speaker 4: time job in retail is what seventeen thousand dollars a year? 431 00:21:42,680 --> 00:21:46,720 Speaker 1: Obviously key, we Yeah, nowadays I'm doing I only do 432 00:21:47,160 --> 00:21:50,359 Speaker 1: my day job part time, but before, when I was 433 00:21:50,359 --> 00:21:52,720 Speaker 1: doing it full time, I was earning about thirty thirty 434 00:21:52,720 --> 00:21:56,040 Speaker 1: four K a year, which is still not. 435 00:21:56,119 --> 00:21:58,600 Speaker 4: Much, and one hundred dollars a fortnite is a lot 436 00:21:58,640 --> 00:22:01,600 Speaker 4: of money to live off, because I'm assuming, this is 437 00:22:01,640 --> 00:22:04,359 Speaker 4: a very big assumption here that like, your mum wasn't 438 00:22:04,400 --> 00:22:07,119 Speaker 4: really providing you with any financial support, and there was 439 00:22:07,160 --> 00:22:09,600 Speaker 4: a lot going on with you doing it on your own, 440 00:22:09,760 --> 00:22:13,560 Speaker 4: Like that's not much money to be trying to find 441 00:22:13,600 --> 00:22:15,639 Speaker 4: your way on your own, right exactly. 442 00:22:16,200 --> 00:22:19,320 Speaker 1: And so it got to the point where every single week, 443 00:22:19,359 --> 00:22:23,159 Speaker 1: I would like every paycheck, I would have to hassle 444 00:22:23,280 --> 00:22:26,800 Speaker 1: my mom to give me the money. And you know, 445 00:22:26,840 --> 00:22:29,320 Speaker 1: it could have been on automatic payment, just sought that out. 446 00:22:30,119 --> 00:22:34,120 Speaker 1: But when she was still in this toxic relationship, it 447 00:22:34,240 --> 00:22:36,480 Speaker 1: led to her not having the money because she was 448 00:22:36,520 --> 00:22:39,440 Speaker 1: giving it all to this random guy. And so there 449 00:22:39,520 --> 00:22:43,960 Speaker 1: was not a lot of well good, healthy communication between us, 450 00:22:44,840 --> 00:22:47,280 Speaker 1: uh huh, and she was on very thin nights. The 451 00:22:47,359 --> 00:22:51,160 Speaker 1: only reason she was still in my life was because 452 00:22:51,200 --> 00:22:54,199 Speaker 1: she owed me money and I was not going to 453 00:22:54,240 --> 00:22:57,400 Speaker 1: be paying that debt for her because when she did 454 00:22:57,480 --> 00:23:03,600 Speaker 1: sell this asset, she gave him all of the money. Yes, 455 00:23:03,640 --> 00:23:06,680 Speaker 1: so when she sold her assets, she's probably I would 456 00:23:06,760 --> 00:23:10,600 Speaker 1: estimate that she gave this guy probably close to one 457 00:23:10,680 --> 00:23:15,199 Speaker 1: hundred thousand dollars, so like, because she was giving this 458 00:23:15,200 --> 00:23:18,959 Speaker 1: guy all of her money, there was I wanted, you know, 459 00:23:19,240 --> 00:23:20,679 Speaker 1: we moved to a new house and I was like, 460 00:23:20,680 --> 00:23:22,520 Speaker 1: can we get some internet set up? But she has 461 00:23:22,560 --> 00:23:25,560 Speaker 1: the worst credit ever, so they said no. And I 462 00:23:25,600 --> 00:23:27,719 Speaker 1: had just turned eighteen, so she was like, well, if 463 00:23:27,760 --> 00:23:29,160 Speaker 1: you want the Internet, you have to go and sign 464 00:23:29,200 --> 00:23:32,000 Speaker 1: it up for yourself and I'll pay it. And I 465 00:23:32,040 --> 00:23:34,439 Speaker 1: didn't really think twice about it because I was an 466 00:23:34,480 --> 00:23:36,160 Speaker 1: eighteen year old just doing what mums. 467 00:23:36,080 --> 00:23:37,800 Speaker 4: And you were like, I just need the internet, mum, 468 00:23:37,880 --> 00:23:40,600 Speaker 4: So yeah, cool, I'll just organize that exactly. 469 00:23:41,760 --> 00:23:46,880 Speaker 1: And that happened with a couple of different companies. So basically, 470 00:23:46,920 --> 00:23:49,760 Speaker 1: by the time I was nineteen, my credit score was 471 00:23:50,400 --> 00:23:53,960 Speaker 1: very bad m h. And I wasn't able to get 472 00:23:54,160 --> 00:23:57,199 Speaker 1: credit for anything, which actually, in hindsight, the amount of 473 00:23:57,200 --> 00:23:58,680 Speaker 1: things I went to the bank and was like, Hi, 474 00:23:58,800 --> 00:24:00,879 Speaker 1: can I get a loan for this? All that? And 475 00:24:00,920 --> 00:24:03,240 Speaker 1: they were every single time they were like no. And 476 00:24:03,280 --> 00:24:05,480 Speaker 1: I'm actually so glad that my credit was ruined by 477 00:24:05,480 --> 00:24:08,000 Speaker 1: that point because that meant that I couldn't go and 478 00:24:08,040 --> 00:24:09,160 Speaker 1: get myself into debt. 479 00:24:10,080 --> 00:24:13,720 Speaker 4: Yeah. Funny how the world works, isn't it Exactly? 480 00:24:13,840 --> 00:24:16,679 Speaker 1: I would say that i'd probably be I would have 481 00:24:16,680 --> 00:24:19,520 Speaker 1: gotten like twenty K and debt by this point if 482 00:24:19,560 --> 00:24:21,720 Speaker 1: I was able to just go and get money from 483 00:24:21,760 --> 00:24:22,439 Speaker 1: the bank whenever. 484 00:24:22,680 --> 00:24:25,919 Speaker 4: That is crazy. And so talk to me about how 485 00:24:26,040 --> 00:24:28,359 Speaker 4: you got out of that debt, Like what happened once 486 00:24:28,400 --> 00:24:30,800 Speaker 4: you were out of it, Like how's your relationship with 487 00:24:30,840 --> 00:24:35,240 Speaker 4: your mum now? Because money can make and break relationships completely. 488 00:24:35,920 --> 00:24:41,080 Speaker 1: Yeah, So mum, at one point she came clean. She 489 00:24:41,600 --> 00:24:44,040 Speaker 1: finally managed to you know, dump this guy and get 490 00:24:44,080 --> 00:24:46,560 Speaker 1: away from him and just like cut her losses and 491 00:24:46,960 --> 00:24:50,840 Speaker 1: you know, and just left. And she came to me 492 00:24:50,880 --> 00:24:53,040 Speaker 1: and she told me everything that she had done, and 493 00:24:53,080 --> 00:24:55,800 Speaker 1: she was honest with me for the first time in 494 00:24:55,880 --> 00:24:58,400 Speaker 1: like six years. And she had, you know, she set 495 00:24:58,440 --> 00:25:00,879 Speaker 1: up an automatic payment all of that stuff, so I 496 00:25:00,960 --> 00:25:04,440 Speaker 1: wasn't having to hassle her for the money. And so 497 00:25:04,480 --> 00:25:08,120 Speaker 1: we were good for a few years. But especially now 498 00:25:08,160 --> 00:25:12,880 Speaker 1: that I'm like learning about money and education, I didn't 499 00:25:12,920 --> 00:25:15,040 Speaker 1: know that financial abuse was a thing. Like I knew 500 00:25:15,040 --> 00:25:17,560 Speaker 1: that she had done some really messed up stuff to me, 501 00:25:17,600 --> 00:25:20,080 Speaker 1: but I didn't I've never even heard the term financial 502 00:25:20,080 --> 00:25:22,439 Speaker 1: abuse until I started learning about money. I knew it 503 00:25:22,480 --> 00:25:24,919 Speaker 1: was bad, but like, she really did some stuff that 504 00:25:24,960 --> 00:25:28,360 Speaker 1: a mother should never do to their child. And when 505 00:25:28,359 --> 00:25:31,159 Speaker 1: I discovered that second investment account through my EWI, I 506 00:25:31,240 --> 00:25:33,399 Speaker 1: found out that she had tried to access that money 507 00:25:33,680 --> 00:25:36,399 Speaker 1: in twenty sixteen. She had gone into that when I 508 00:25:36,480 --> 00:25:39,240 Speaker 1: was an adult by that time, but she had gone 509 00:25:39,280 --> 00:25:41,520 Speaker 1: into it to try and see how much money there 510 00:25:41,560 --> 00:25:43,560 Speaker 1: was in there and to try and access that money 511 00:25:43,560 --> 00:25:46,200 Speaker 1: while she was still in this relationship with that scammer. 512 00:25:46,400 --> 00:25:48,560 Speaker 1: And I only found that out very recently. And that's 513 00:25:48,640 --> 00:25:52,760 Speaker 1: just another another thing. I don't talk to my mum anymore, 514 00:25:53,960 --> 00:25:57,000 Speaker 1: even though you know, like she paid off all of 515 00:25:57,040 --> 00:25:59,479 Speaker 1: the debt and she you know, cleared everything, and she 516 00:25:59,520 --> 00:26:03,679 Speaker 1: finally she is still manipulative and she is still a 517 00:26:03,720 --> 00:26:07,800 Speaker 1: gas lighter, and she still doesn't treat me the way 518 00:26:07,840 --> 00:26:10,640 Speaker 1: that I deserve to be treated. And I realized that 519 00:26:11,280 --> 00:26:14,840 Speaker 1: there is nobody else in my life that would even 520 00:26:14,960 --> 00:26:17,439 Speaker 1: think to treat me badly or to manipulate me, or 521 00:26:17,480 --> 00:26:20,080 Speaker 1: to do anything like that. And I realized, why on 522 00:26:20,160 --> 00:26:23,440 Speaker 1: earth would I allow someone to stay in my life 523 00:26:23,560 --> 00:26:27,439 Speaker 1: if they're going to be treating me like that, and 524 00:26:27,480 --> 00:26:30,040 Speaker 1: so I went no contact with her. She doesn't like 525 00:26:30,119 --> 00:26:32,399 Speaker 1: that very much. She has tried every single thing she 526 00:26:32,480 --> 00:26:36,919 Speaker 1: can to get to me or get to get me 527 00:26:36,960 --> 00:26:40,600 Speaker 1: to respond and everything, which is just not going to 528 00:26:40,640 --> 00:26:42,520 Speaker 1: happen because my boundaries are important. 529 00:26:43,520 --> 00:26:47,399 Speaker 4: And she held that. I'm so proud of you, money Dires. 530 00:26:47,000 --> 00:26:51,160 Speaker 1: Thank you. It's been quite a hard road, of course, 531 00:26:51,320 --> 00:26:53,920 Speaker 1: But I also for the longest time, I didn't really 532 00:26:53,960 --> 00:26:56,800 Speaker 1: realize how bad it was what she had done. I 533 00:26:56,840 --> 00:26:58,920 Speaker 1: was just gonna like, this is a thing that mom, 534 00:26:58,960 --> 00:26:59,679 Speaker 1: did you know? 535 00:27:00,560 --> 00:27:02,719 Speaker 4: But you don't know until you know, right, And it's 536 00:27:02,800 --> 00:27:04,600 Speaker 4: one of those things that kind of like hits you 537 00:27:04,720 --> 00:27:07,919 Speaker 4: really hard in the chest when you learn what financial 538 00:27:07,960 --> 00:27:11,520 Speaker 4: abuse is, and this goes for everything beyond financial abuse, 539 00:27:11,600 --> 00:27:15,159 Speaker 4: like especially when people learn about emotional abuse, they're like, 540 00:27:15,200 --> 00:27:17,600 Speaker 4: hold up, like my mum or my parent or my 541 00:27:17,680 --> 00:27:19,879 Speaker 4: guardian or the person I was with never hit me, 542 00:27:19,960 --> 00:27:22,439 Speaker 4: so I was an abuse And then they learn that no, 543 00:27:22,800 --> 00:27:26,800 Speaker 4: actually there's a number of different forms. They go, oh, well, 544 00:27:26,880 --> 00:27:29,040 Speaker 4: that's why it felt that way. That's what I was 545 00:27:29,080 --> 00:27:31,920 Speaker 4: going through. And at the same time as it being 546 00:27:32,440 --> 00:27:34,880 Speaker 4: really nice to have a label to put on it, 547 00:27:34,880 --> 00:27:38,160 Speaker 4: it's really upsetting to find out that actually you were 548 00:27:38,200 --> 00:27:40,720 Speaker 4: going through something really real and you just didn't have 549 00:27:40,920 --> 00:27:44,000 Speaker 4: the education that you deserved to know what that was. 550 00:27:44,280 --> 00:27:47,199 Speaker 4: And yeah, it's it's a challenging position to be in, 551 00:27:47,240 --> 00:27:49,840 Speaker 4: but it sounds like you are in the better position now, 552 00:27:49,920 --> 00:27:50,760 Speaker 4: my friend. 553 00:27:50,800 --> 00:27:55,040 Speaker 1: Exactly, and like my well being is my priority. And 554 00:27:55,160 --> 00:27:57,680 Speaker 1: I've always since I moved out, I've always felt like 555 00:27:57,760 --> 00:28:00,199 Speaker 1: I have no safety in there. I can't call Mama and 556 00:28:00,200 --> 00:28:03,800 Speaker 1: ask for help or anything like that for anything really, 557 00:28:05,200 --> 00:28:09,720 Speaker 1: and I've always felt very like independent. But then I 558 00:28:09,760 --> 00:28:13,919 Speaker 1: do see, you know, especially with COVID people getting all 559 00:28:13,920 --> 00:28:17,239 Speaker 1: the support from their family, and it is kind of 560 00:28:17,280 --> 00:28:21,520 Speaker 1: hard to know that I am my only safety in it. Yeah, 561 00:28:21,800 --> 00:28:24,040 Speaker 1: there's nobody else that I can fall back on if 562 00:28:24,080 --> 00:28:24,960 Speaker 1: I'm in trouble. 563 00:28:25,680 --> 00:28:29,120 Speaker 3: But I guess after everything that you've been through, and 564 00:28:29,680 --> 00:28:32,600 Speaker 3: probably this is maybe the first time that you've ever 565 00:28:32,680 --> 00:28:35,040 Speaker 3: thought about all of the horrible things that you've been through, 566 00:28:35,040 --> 00:28:38,280 Speaker 3: but are also reflecting on the amazing things you've done since. 567 00:28:38,640 --> 00:28:40,040 Speaker 1: Does that make you feel. 568 00:28:39,800 --> 00:28:42,720 Speaker 3: Really proud of yourself that you've gone through all of this? 569 00:28:43,000 --> 00:28:46,240 Speaker 3: You know, these situations with your family who were supposed 570 00:28:46,280 --> 00:28:48,800 Speaker 3: to be able to rely on that You've gone through 571 00:28:48,840 --> 00:28:52,160 Speaker 3: something that most people couldn't even comprehend. And look at 572 00:28:52,200 --> 00:28:54,600 Speaker 3: you now, you know, like you live in your own flat, 573 00:28:54,720 --> 00:28:56,760 Speaker 3: You're doing everything that you want to do. You've got 574 00:28:56,760 --> 00:29:00,320 Speaker 3: this amazing emergency fund. You're contributing more than you need 575 00:29:00,360 --> 00:29:03,000 Speaker 3: to to your superannuation to make sure that your future 576 00:29:03,120 --> 00:29:06,400 Speaker 3: is taken care of. Like, think about all the amazing 577 00:29:06,480 --> 00:29:09,520 Speaker 3: things that you've done just through empowering yourself with knowledge. 578 00:29:09,560 --> 00:29:11,960 Speaker 3: I mean, you should just be so proud of yourself. 579 00:29:12,000 --> 00:29:13,200 Speaker 3: Like does that feel amazing? 580 00:29:13,520 --> 00:29:17,320 Speaker 1: It honestly does. When I check my credit score and 581 00:29:17,360 --> 00:29:21,320 Speaker 1: it finally said very good and that way, yay, that 582 00:29:21,520 --> 00:29:24,640 Speaker 1: was something I was really really proud of. Like I 583 00:29:24,640 --> 00:29:26,800 Speaker 1: I mean, I didn't really have a choice but to 584 00:29:26,880 --> 00:29:30,240 Speaker 1: do nothing. And I'm so glad that I didn't have 585 00:29:30,280 --> 00:29:33,000 Speaker 1: a choice but to just not make any dumb money 586 00:29:33,000 --> 00:29:36,560 Speaker 1: decisions because that has really set me up. I am 587 00:29:36,600 --> 00:29:39,400 Speaker 1: really proud of myself forgetting to where I am. And 588 00:29:39,440 --> 00:29:42,400 Speaker 1: I've always been a very independent person and I can 589 00:29:42,560 --> 00:29:44,680 Speaker 1: only rely on myself. But like I feel a lot 590 00:29:44,760 --> 00:29:48,560 Speaker 1: safer now. Having this education is really empowering. 591 00:29:48,320 --> 00:29:50,640 Speaker 4: Of course, and it sounds like it just sounds like 592 00:29:50,680 --> 00:29:54,760 Speaker 4: you're so emotionally intelligent beyond your years. Like it just 593 00:29:54,800 --> 00:29:57,240 Speaker 4: sounds like, you know, when you meet somebody and you're like, 594 00:29:57,280 --> 00:30:00,760 Speaker 4: you're an old soul, like you've been here before. Like 595 00:30:00,840 --> 00:30:03,040 Speaker 4: I genuinely think when you meet someone you're like, wow, 596 00:30:03,080 --> 00:30:06,240 Speaker 4: you are so intelligent and so emotionally switched. 597 00:30:05,920 --> 00:30:09,640 Speaker 1: On the emotional intelligence and awareness. That's just the trauma. 598 00:30:11,200 --> 00:30:13,360 Speaker 1: It's just the trauma. But it has really worked in 599 00:30:13,400 --> 00:30:17,920 Speaker 1: my favor. I am who I am because of what 600 00:30:18,000 --> 00:30:20,400 Speaker 1: I've been through, and I really do not want to 601 00:30:20,400 --> 00:30:22,959 Speaker 1: follow on the footsteps of my family. Like you know, 602 00:30:23,280 --> 00:30:27,760 Speaker 1: Mum's attitude towards money is horrendous. But you know, Dad, 603 00:30:27,840 --> 00:30:31,120 Speaker 1: for example, has never been good with money either, and 604 00:30:31,360 --> 00:30:34,640 Speaker 1: we never had conversations about money. Those conversations about money 605 00:30:34,640 --> 00:30:37,640 Speaker 1: didn't happen at all. Like I was thinking about my 606 00:30:37,680 --> 00:30:42,680 Speaker 1: money story, but I can't remember any time when money 607 00:30:42,680 --> 00:30:46,440 Speaker 1: has been spoken about in a way that is factual. 608 00:30:46,600 --> 00:30:52,160 Speaker 1: It's more emotionally driven based on my parents. And at 609 00:30:52,200 --> 00:30:54,480 Speaker 1: the end of the day, money can be such a 610 00:30:54,600 --> 00:30:57,640 Speaker 1: useful tool to get where you want to go, and 611 00:30:57,840 --> 00:31:00,680 Speaker 1: I actually do have the power to get myself there. 612 00:31:00,800 --> 00:31:05,280 Speaker 1: I really didn't expect to, you know, like especially growing 613 00:31:05,360 --> 00:31:08,520 Speaker 1: up and you know, the house in crisis and everything, 614 00:31:08,600 --> 00:31:11,640 Speaker 1: like owning property. I never thought I would be able 615 00:31:11,680 --> 00:31:13,920 Speaker 1: to do that. And I mean it's still not like 616 00:31:13,960 --> 00:31:17,880 Speaker 1: a huge goal for me, but this stability and security 617 00:31:17,960 --> 00:31:22,000 Speaker 1: is important to me. And I've found that I also 618 00:31:22,160 --> 00:31:24,760 Speaker 1: don't really know how to set goals because I've never 619 00:31:24,800 --> 00:31:27,440 Speaker 1: had the option like some people save. 620 00:31:27,560 --> 00:31:29,000 Speaker 4: Oh my gosh, I will teach you. 621 00:31:29,080 --> 00:31:30,160 Speaker 2: I have got you. 622 00:31:32,200 --> 00:31:35,240 Speaker 1: Like some people. I'll see, like my peers just like 623 00:31:35,680 --> 00:31:37,800 Speaker 1: save up and go to France and stuff like that. 624 00:31:37,840 --> 00:31:40,640 Speaker 1: And I'm like, that's astonishing to me because that's never 625 00:31:40,680 --> 00:31:45,680 Speaker 1: been an option. Like I've never known how to save 626 00:31:45,960 --> 00:31:49,440 Speaker 1: for something big. So I'm still kind of learning that 627 00:31:49,520 --> 00:31:51,680 Speaker 1: I can save up and go somewhere, or I can 628 00:31:51,720 --> 00:31:54,920 Speaker 1: save up and do a thing. I'm not quite used 629 00:31:54,920 --> 00:31:55,480 Speaker 1: to that yet. 630 00:31:56,400 --> 00:31:58,120 Speaker 4: But you are well on your way. 631 00:31:58,280 --> 00:32:01,360 Speaker 3: And this has been such an amazing money diary for 632 00:32:01,560 --> 00:32:03,560 Speaker 3: us to be able to share, because I'm sure that 633 00:32:03,920 --> 00:32:06,680 Speaker 3: there's people that can relate to that of having, you know, 634 00:32:06,800 --> 00:32:11,320 Speaker 3: not a great relationship with money through their childhood and 635 00:32:11,400 --> 00:32:13,400 Speaker 3: now getting to a place where they're able to look 636 00:32:13,440 --> 00:32:15,960 Speaker 3: to the future and actually feel excited about it. So 637 00:32:16,320 --> 00:32:18,200 Speaker 3: thank you so much for sharing your story with us, 638 00:32:18,240 --> 00:32:21,760 Speaker 3: because honestly, it's really amazing to know that you came 639 00:32:21,800 --> 00:32:24,000 Speaker 3: through the other side and you're like, just at the 640 00:32:24,000 --> 00:32:26,200 Speaker 3: beginning of this amazing life. 641 00:32:26,800 --> 00:32:30,240 Speaker 1: I've got a life so great. Sure, yeah, you're so welcome. 642 00:32:31,040 --> 00:32:34,040 Speaker 4: Oh my gosh, it's so special learning about other people's 643 00:32:34,080 --> 00:32:36,840 Speaker 4: money diaries and money journeys. It feels pervy, but you 644 00:32:36,920 --> 00:32:38,880 Speaker 4: do feel like you've learned a bit and you can 645 00:32:38,960 --> 00:32:42,440 Speaker 4: take away something from somebody else's money diary that you 646 00:32:42,480 --> 00:32:46,000 Speaker 4: can apply to another situation. And yeah, it's so special 647 00:32:46,040 --> 00:32:47,680 Speaker 4: to me that we get to share these stories, and 648 00:32:47,920 --> 00:32:50,080 Speaker 4: without you wanting to share them, we don't get to. 649 00:32:50,280 --> 00:32:51,480 Speaker 4: So thank you. 650 00:32:51,480 --> 00:32:53,240 Speaker 1: You are so welcome. Thank you so much. 651 00:32:53,520 --> 00:32:55,880 Speaker 4: But as always, just before we head off, we'd like 652 00:32:55,920 --> 00:32:59,400 Speaker 4: to acknowledge and pay respect to Australia's Aboriginal and Torres 653 00:32:59,400 --> 00:33:03,160 Speaker 4: straight to peoples. They're the traditional custodians of the lands, 654 00:33:03,200 --> 00:33:06,760 Speaker 4: the wadways and the skies all across Australia. We thank 655 00:33:06,800 --> 00:33:08,640 Speaker 4: you for sharing and the caring for the land on 656 00:33:08,680 --> 00:33:11,120 Speaker 4: which we are able to learn. We power respects to 657 00:33:11,160 --> 00:33:13,680 Speaker 4: elders past and present, and we share our friendship and 658 00:33:13,760 --> 00:33:14,640 Speaker 4: our kindness. 659 00:33:15,040 --> 00:33:17,520 Speaker 3: The advice shared on shees On the Money is general 660 00:33:17,560 --> 00:33:21,360 Speaker 3: in nature and does not consider your individual circumstances. Shees 661 00:33:21,400 --> 00:33:24,560 Speaker 3: On the Money exists purely for educational purposes and should 662 00:33:24,600 --> 00:33:27,800 Speaker 3: not be relied upon to make any investment or financial decision. 663 00:33:28,320 --> 00:33:31,640 Speaker 3: And we promise Victoria Divine is an authorized representative of 664 00:33:31,640 --> 00:33:35,680 Speaker 3: Australia Pacific Funds Management for Prietary Limited ABN three four 665 00:33:35,720 --> 00:33:38,840 Speaker 3: one three two four six three two five seven AFSL 666 00:33:38,920 --> 00:33:40,880 Speaker 3: three three nine one five one. 667 00:33:40,720 --> 00:33:43,120 Speaker 4: And we'll see you next week for another money diary. Friends, 668 00:33:43,280 --> 00:33:43,600 Speaker 4: Babe