WEBVTT - Absolutely Everybody 🕺 0:00:08.280 --> 0:00:10.920 Hello, it's an exciting day for you because you're here 0:00:11.000 --> 0:00:16.800 listening to me. Art Simone. Congratulations on your exceptional taste. Now, 0:00:16.880 --> 0:00:19.680 if you're hearing this and thinking, wow, I wish I 0:00:19.800 --> 0:00:22.960 was talented and gorgeous and outstanding as Artsimone. But I'm 0:00:23.040 --> 0:00:27.400 just a boring normal person, don't feel bad because you're 0:00:27.400 --> 0:00:29.800 about to have company. We're going to meet another boring 0:00:29.960 --> 0:00:33.159 normal person, except I'm going to find out what they're concealing, 0:00:33.200 --> 0:00:36.440 which makes them as exceptional as your taste in podcasts. 0:00:36.680 --> 0:00:40.040 This is concealed with me, Art Simone, bring in our 0:00:40.159 --> 0:00:46.040 boring normal person. Hi. 0:00:46.280 --> 0:00:49.000 My name is Mark. I am a consultant living in Melbourne. 0:00:49.320 --> 0:00:52.560 I enjoyed playing the ukulele, baseball and golf, but I'm 0:00:52.600 --> 0:00:56.040 concealing something about myself and how I use my words. 0:01:00.920 --> 0:01:04.240 Hello, Marke, how are you? I am excellent, Art, how 0:01:04.280 --> 0:01:06.560 are you? I'm doing very well. Thank you think of 0:01:06.680 --> 0:01:09.399 coming and visiting me in the studio today. You're just 0:01:09.480 --> 0:01:11.959 mentioning baseball. This is a baseball cap. It is a 0:01:11.959 --> 0:01:14.360 baseball cap. Yes, I mean I mean people say baseball 0:01:14.400 --> 0:01:16.440 cap like just a cap. It this is a specific 0:01:16.560 --> 0:01:19.440 baseball because this is my team that I follow in America. 0:01:19.520 --> 0:01:20.880 It's got an a on the frase. 0:01:21.000 --> 0:01:22.920 The Atlanta Braves. I find it easy to put on 0:01:22.959 --> 0:01:23.920 a hat than do my hair. 0:01:24.560 --> 0:01:30.640 Atlanta bra Yes, braves brave? Yes, yes, people in Atlanta 0:01:30.840 --> 0:01:32.479 traditionally brave. No. 0:01:32.480 --> 0:01:37.000 No, So it's like the American Indian little braves like warriors. 0:01:37.120 --> 0:01:37.759 That cool. 0:01:38.200 --> 0:01:40.240 Have you been to Atlanta? I have a couple of 0:01:40.280 --> 0:01:45.560 times I was hoping you'd say no, okay, And you 0:01:45.560 --> 0:01:47.000 got to love your T shirt. You've got to tassoo 0:01:47.000 --> 0:01:50.040 on your arms is harry, Yes, that's actually in the 0:01:50.080 --> 0:01:53.760 Atlanta braves farming. It does look very the same type 0:01:53.760 --> 0:01:56.120 of thing. Yes, to get that done in Atlanta. Yes, okay. 0:01:56.200 --> 0:01:58.960 And you've got a what's that bracelet? That's Atlanta braids 0:01:59.000 --> 0:02:06.600 as well. Here okay there all right? And you said 0:02:06.640 --> 0:02:08.160 you're a consultant? Correct? 0:02:08.240 --> 0:02:11.000 Yes, what is a consultant? That just sounds like you go, 0:02:11.160 --> 0:02:14.000 I have a job. It's a fancy thing to put 0:02:14.000 --> 0:02:15.960 on my business cards. So it sounds like, yeah, I 0:02:16.000 --> 0:02:16.880 know what I'm talking about. 0:02:17.080 --> 0:02:20.160 So yeah, what do you just get? Like consulting? So 0:02:20.280 --> 0:02:23.519 just yeah, wander around Yeah, just usually strangers. Sometimes I 0:02:23.600 --> 0:02:29.160 just consult I say hey, hey, consultancy, and I'm here 0:02:29.200 --> 0:02:33.560 to consult. Okay, all right, so the ukulele, Yes, how 0:02:33.560 --> 0:02:36.359 do you deal with a tiny guitar? Tiny guitar makes 0:02:36.360 --> 0:02:38.240 my hands feel really big, which is which is nice. 0:02:38.280 --> 0:02:41.480 It's that a good thing. See where I look for 0:02:41.520 --> 0:02:44.000 things that make my hands look smaller because I've got giant, 0:02:44.080 --> 0:02:47.000 big flippers on the end of my hands. I need 0:02:47.000 --> 0:02:49.200 to hold giant things to make my hands look small. 0:02:49.240 --> 0:02:52.440 Makes sense, yes, right, okay, So it's all about proportion 0:02:52.639 --> 0:02:57.639 for you. So what I'm going to do is ask 0:02:57.639 --> 0:02:59.960 you three questions, and from the answer to those three questions, 0:03:00.280 --> 0:03:02.280 I have to work out what it is that you're 0:03:02.320 --> 0:03:05.640 concealing from me today you. So, first question to have 0:03:05.720 --> 0:03:11.760 for you is what is your preferred way to greet someone? 0:03:12.360 --> 0:03:15.639 So for me, usually handshake. Handshakes pretty good. Like even 0:03:15.680 --> 0:03:17.640 if there's a little bit of tension at the start, 0:03:18.240 --> 0:03:19.240 handshake always. 0:03:19.000 --> 0:03:19.520 Makes things better. 0:03:19.680 --> 0:03:22.520 Not tension in the hand, Not tension in the hands 0:03:22.639 --> 0:03:23.960 in the room, tension in the air. 0:03:24.080 --> 0:03:26.679 Yeah, handshake, you want to touch them. Even in a 0:03:26.720 --> 0:03:28.000 post COVID world. 0:03:28.200 --> 0:03:31.640 Yeah yeah, oh yeah, yeah, most people react pretty well. 0:03:31.639 --> 0:03:33.240 COVID was the best thing that that was the best 0:03:33.280 --> 0:03:36.240 thing to come out of COVID and also Uber eats 0:03:36.360 --> 0:03:38.000 just leaving the food on your door and not having 0:03:38.040 --> 0:03:39.520 to open the door and greet them. That was the 0:03:39.520 --> 0:03:44.640 other great thing, contactless delivery or okay? Question number two? 0:03:45.360 --> 0:03:50.120 What is an underrated skill that you have? So? I 0:03:50.200 --> 0:03:59.280 tend to use my words carefully? Words carefully? What where's carefully? Oh? Blank? Okay? 0:03:59.480 --> 0:04:02.720 Question three? Okay, what about this? What type of films 0:04:02.760 --> 0:04:06.280 do you like? So? I'm big on Samuel L. Jackson. 0:04:06.640 --> 0:04:08.760 I think, Yeah, he's a pretty cool dude. So I 0:04:08.800 --> 0:04:11.040 sort of you name some films that he's been because 0:04:11.080 --> 0:04:14.960 I know the name. Yeah, so the one with the voice, Yeah, 0:04:14.960 --> 0:04:17.920 he's a cool dude. He wears the Kagole backward cap, 0:04:18.120 --> 0:04:20.280 corner flat paps. Yeah, I can't get away with the 0:04:20.360 --> 0:04:22.680 j Low cap. I haven't seen j Lo in. 0:04:24.200 --> 0:04:25.960 The Donald Bradman cap. 0:04:26.080 --> 0:04:29.280 Yeah, like beret, but he wears a backwards yeah, doctor 0:04:29.279 --> 0:04:29.880 Harry cap. 0:04:30.160 --> 0:04:33.400 Yes, doctor. We finally met on something. He's in pop fiction, 0:04:33.480 --> 0:04:34.040 which was cool. 0:04:34.080 --> 0:04:39.840 He was in Snakes on a Plane, Negotiator, Shaft, Avengers. 0:04:39.880 --> 0:04:43.880 He was in Avengers as well. Good for him. Wow, Okay, Mark, 0:04:45.600 --> 0:04:48.560 he really presented me to really thoughtful clues to here 0:04:48.680 --> 0:04:50.960 for today to work out what it is your concealing 0:04:50.960 --> 0:04:54.440 from me? So hands words, I don't know. Are you 0:04:54.600 --> 0:05:01.680 like it's a sign language interpreter. I don't know. That's interesting. 0:05:02.480 --> 0:05:07.800 That's using hands and words and handshakes. That's all I've got. 0:05:10.320 --> 0:05:13.080 I used to work as a negotiator for Victoria Police, 0:05:13.240 --> 0:05:17.320 working in siege, suicide and hostage negotiations. I now teach 0:05:17.360 --> 0:05:20.320 others how to deal with high stress and conflict situations. 0:05:21.800 --> 0:05:30.200 I would not have got that. Does that mean it's 0:05:30.279 --> 0:05:32.400 like that's a police thing or is that just a 0:05:32.520 --> 0:05:34.640 separate entity to the police, Like what. 0:05:35.440 --> 0:05:38.360 No so with I was with Victoria Police for fifteen years, Yes, 0:05:38.839 --> 0:05:42.200 and then seven of those years was as a police negotiator. 0:05:42.360 --> 0:05:44.680 So you have to apply for a specialist unit. Yeah, 0:05:44.680 --> 0:05:46.360 and then once you're in the specialist unit, then you 0:05:46.440 --> 0:05:48.400 apply to be a negotiator. Then you've got to do 0:05:48.440 --> 0:05:51.080 a course and then yeah, qualified as a negotiator. 0:05:51.320 --> 0:05:54.159 And what makes you go I want to do the 0:05:54.240 --> 0:05:57.600 negotiating or does someone like over here and they go, well, 0:05:57.760 --> 0:06:00.920 Mark over here, it's really good getting us a good 0:06:00.920 --> 0:06:03.600 deal sometimes and we go out to you know, have 0:06:04.040 --> 0:06:06.640 a bev so maybe talk to Mark, like, how does 0:06:06.640 --> 0:06:07.000 it work? 0:06:07.279 --> 0:06:09.200 I think it's something I've always been interested in, Like 0:06:09.560 --> 0:06:12.839 I like the not so much mind games, but I 0:06:12.960 --> 0:06:15.800 like that, you know, someone telling me, Hey, I'm definitely 0:06:15.800 --> 0:06:17.440 not coming out of this house. There's no way in 0:06:17.440 --> 0:06:19.800 the world I'm coming out of this house. My job 0:06:19.920 --> 0:06:22.640 was to turn up, you know, speak to him, try to, 0:06:23.160 --> 0:06:24.200 I guess, convince them more. 0:06:24.200 --> 0:06:25.560 It's a better thing for him to come out of 0:06:25.560 --> 0:06:25.960 the house. 0:06:26.520 --> 0:06:29.039 And once I joined the unit, you start to see people, 0:06:29.080 --> 0:06:32.440 you start see the negotiators working, and yeah, I thought, hey, 0:06:32.480 --> 0:06:33.240 they'd be pretty cool. 0:06:33.279 --> 0:06:36.880 So gave it a crack. Are you non confrontational? 0:06:37.960 --> 0:06:43.320 Uh, I'm patient. I think patient. Yeah, that's really good. 0:06:43.520 --> 0:06:44.880 It takes a lot to get me gone. 0:06:45.000 --> 0:06:47.880 Yeah. So you know, I'm pretty much chill most of 0:06:47.920 --> 0:06:51.039 the time. You'd have to have a pretty just like assess. 0:06:51.279 --> 0:06:52.800 Are you not quick to react to anything? 0:06:53.000 --> 0:06:55.840 Yeah, no, it's all it's all pretty cool, calm and collected, 0:06:55.920 --> 0:06:57.880 at least on the outside, you know what I mean. 0:06:57.960 --> 0:06:59.920 Like I've had I actually had to speak to my 0:07:00.120 --> 0:07:02.960 mom a couple months ago and Mum said, you know 0:07:03.000 --> 0:07:05.080 what's going on? And I said, Hey, I need to 0:07:05.120 --> 0:07:08.120 talk to you about your choice in men's and she's like. 0:07:08.120 --> 0:07:10.440 Oh, and she was like, why is that? 0:07:10.480 --> 0:07:12.200 And I said, look, the amount of people I've dealt 0:07:12.200 --> 0:07:14.360 with the claim to have had sexual relations with you 0:07:14.840 --> 0:07:17.960 is like really high, So just raise your standards up 0:07:17.960 --> 0:07:21.360 a middle mum. So you hear all that smart stuff 0:07:21.360 --> 0:07:23.480 and in a way, sometimes some of the insults and 0:07:23.480 --> 0:07:24.920 stuff are a little bit childish. 0:07:25.040 --> 0:07:27.840 So it's a little bit like high school. Right, So 0:07:28.400 --> 0:07:31.160 how do you negotiate? Is it like the movies and 0:07:31.200 --> 0:07:32.800 they call it you call up on a telephone, you 0:07:32.840 --> 0:07:36.760 go yeah, hello, or do you have a megaphone or 0:07:36.760 --> 0:07:39.400 do you pass a note under a door? What ways 0:07:39.400 --> 0:07:40.080 do you negotiate? 0:07:40.160 --> 0:07:43.040 So depending on the situation. So we can have face 0:07:43.080 --> 0:07:45.480 to face through a door. Usually that they're going to 0:07:45.480 --> 0:07:49.320 be barricaded or something like that. So face to face 0:07:49.360 --> 0:07:51.640 we can do it on the radio. We do have 0:07:51.840 --> 0:07:54.120 a loud speaker, which is I guess a little bit 0:07:54.320 --> 0:07:56.720 like the movies, but that's only because we can't get 0:07:56.760 --> 0:07:59.000 close enough. You know, they may be armed with something, 0:07:59.080 --> 0:08:01.200 but we can't get close enough to do a face 0:08:01.240 --> 0:08:03.960 to face, so we might do some loudspeaker stuff. 0:08:03.960 --> 0:08:07.040 So some of it bit hard to yell through a door. 0:08:06.800 --> 0:08:09.560 Yeah, it is, it is so, yeah, or when people 0:08:09.560 --> 0:08:11.200 are at height, you know, so if someone's on top 0:08:11.240 --> 0:08:13.320 of a building, you know, there's only so much I 0:08:13.320 --> 0:08:16.040 can yell from from the ground level, so we've got 0:08:16.040 --> 0:08:19.120 to try and get up there somehow. But yeah, there's 0:08:19.160 --> 0:08:20.200 different ways we can do it. 0:08:20.680 --> 0:08:22.360 I feel like a lot of mums would be good 0:08:22.440 --> 0:08:25.200 negotiators because they have to negotiate with their kids to 0:08:25.200 --> 0:08:30.680 get out of bed and do things. Yeah, hundred percent. Yeah, 0:08:30.760 --> 0:08:33.640 I'm going to count. Do you count? No, I'm going 0:08:33.679 --> 0:08:35.760 to give you to the count of three. You've got 0:08:35.760 --> 0:08:36.760 to come out withace. 0:08:37.160 --> 0:08:39.560 Come on, that's it. We can to three and then 0:08:39.559 --> 0:08:41.280 you are like two and a half. You're not doing 0:08:41.320 --> 0:08:43.280 three quarters. You're not getting tonight. 0:08:43.520 --> 0:08:46.520 Do you want dessert? Do you want dessert? Come on? 0:08:47.559 --> 0:08:49.599 Is it? There must be some parallels. 0:08:49.600 --> 0:08:51.719 Definitely, a lot of the stuff we do people will 0:08:51.760 --> 0:08:53.280 be doing it without even realizing it. 0:08:53.440 --> 0:08:54.600 Yes, so you know you are. 0:08:54.800 --> 0:08:57.760 You're probably in negotiations all the time with family members, 0:08:57.880 --> 0:09:00.680 you know, especially with the kids. Sometimes it doesn't work 0:09:00.800 --> 0:09:03.280 as well with the kids. Yes, but most people are 0:09:03.280 --> 0:09:04.760 doing this sort of stuff all the time, and they 0:09:04.800 --> 0:09:05.760 don't even realize it. 0:09:06.320 --> 0:09:08.840 So do you get trained with a set of tools 0:09:08.840 --> 0:09:11.240 and techniques to use in these situations? 0:09:11.320 --> 0:09:13.199 Yeah. So the course we did was I think it 0:09:13.280 --> 0:09:15.360 was four weeks when I did it, and you know, 0:09:15.360 --> 0:09:18.680 it's a lot of repetitions, but again it's not Sometimes 0:09:18.720 --> 0:09:21.080 people here negotiator and they're like, oh, there must be 0:09:21.080 --> 0:09:22.640 all these tricks, and there must be this, and there 0:09:22.679 --> 0:09:25.439 must be that, but there's there are no tricks. The strategies, 0:09:25.760 --> 0:09:28.199 but there's no tricks behind it, you know what I mean. 0:09:28.240 --> 0:09:31.040 Like if if there was tricks to do it, you know, 0:09:31.200 --> 0:09:33.240 if I could make people do something they did want 0:09:33.280 --> 0:09:36.160 to do, I'd get paid a lot more money, you. 0:09:36.160 --> 0:09:39.040 Know what I mean. So that's the real consultancy there, 0:09:39.200 --> 0:09:43.160 that's the next avenue or right, yes, exactly, mind powers, 0:09:43.240 --> 0:09:47.600 mental techniques. So if you're a negotiator, what does an 0:09:47.600 --> 0:09:49.960 average day look like? Do you have something to negotiate 0:09:50.000 --> 0:09:51.960 every day? There couldn't be something every day? No, So 0:09:52.080 --> 0:09:54.440 is that very dramatic, like a situation where you need 0:09:54.480 --> 0:09:56.040 to bring someone like you in. Yeah. 0:09:56.080 --> 0:09:59.320 So obviously we were in Melbourne based, but we go statewide. 0:09:59.440 --> 0:10:01.480 So if someone was kicking off in mil Durer, then 0:10:01.800 --> 0:10:03.440 we're traveling down the road to more dura. 0:10:03.559 --> 0:10:05.560 But and you just do it over zoom. You know, 0:10:05.720 --> 0:10:07.920 we could just put you an iPads in the front 0:10:08.600 --> 0:10:11.080 and you could just do it remotely. That's very modern. 0:10:11.320 --> 0:10:11.560 It is. 0:10:11.600 --> 0:10:13.199 It is very modern, And that actually comes up a 0:10:13.240 --> 0:10:15.080 little bit about you know, can you just make a 0:10:15.080 --> 0:10:16.840 phone call and stuff? But we always wanted to be 0:10:16.880 --> 0:10:19.320 on scene so I could at least and goes back 0:10:19.360 --> 0:10:21.560 to what I was saying about the handshake thing, is 0:10:21.679 --> 0:10:24.040 that that's that's most of the times, that's how they'd 0:10:24.080 --> 0:10:26.520 finish up with me. You just go and hey, like, 0:10:26.559 --> 0:10:27.920 I don't know where sshes with it? Come and shake 0:10:27.960 --> 0:10:30.439 my hand. Yes, And that's how most of them would end. So, 0:10:30.840 --> 0:10:33.320 but the day to day stuff, it's probably you know 0:10:33.440 --> 0:10:36.040 sometimes you know, people are watching episode of cops right 0:10:36.120 --> 0:10:37.840 and they're like, that is that what it's like, And 0:10:37.880 --> 0:10:40.400 you're like, dude, that's that's like a thirty year career 0:10:40.520 --> 0:10:43.560 in thirty minutes. So it's never quite that exciting. Yes, 0:10:43.600 --> 0:10:45.520 most of the time, it's just cruising around. So we 0:10:45.600 --> 0:10:48.360 cruise around, We helped out other units, but then when 0:10:48.360 --> 0:10:49.640 you get the call, you kind of got to be 0:10:49.679 --> 0:10:50.400 ready to go. 0:10:50.600 --> 0:10:53.600 So are there like some key cases that you've been 0:10:53.600 --> 0:10:56.880 involved with that stick out as being the most I 0:10:56.920 --> 0:11:00.120 don't know, intense, So Outland is sure. Yeah, there's that. 0:11:00.120 --> 0:11:02.400 There's a couple that always stay with you, and they're 0:11:02.440 --> 0:11:06.160 the ones where, you know, I guess reality Sometimes you're 0:11:06.160 --> 0:11:08.559 dealing with some people that have committed some horrible crimes 0:11:08.679 --> 0:11:11.960 and so those ones are tricky, but it's the ones 0:11:12.040 --> 0:11:14.120 we actually get to help people. Yeah, you know, so 0:11:15.200 --> 0:11:17.160 a lot of kids these days are struggling, especially with 0:11:17.160 --> 0:11:19.800 their mental health. So those ones where I can actually 0:11:19.880 --> 0:11:21.959 go out there you're dealing with good people who are 0:11:21.960 --> 0:11:24.240 just having an awful time of it, they were the 0:11:24.280 --> 0:11:26.760 best ones that you actually get some real good job 0:11:26.800 --> 0:11:30.720 satisfaction with walking away knowing that you have actually helped 0:11:30.720 --> 0:11:32.640 someone today. 0:11:33.679 --> 0:11:36.840 Coming up, Mark tells us why libraries aren't as peaceful 0:11:36.920 --> 0:11:39.719 and quiet as they seem, how you can get what 0:11:39.840 --> 0:11:42.160 you want next time you negotiate with the help of 0:11:42.200 --> 0:11:47.080 Australian sweetheart Vanessa and Morossi and about his record fast negotiation, 0:11:47.360 --> 0:11:54.680 which is faster than this. So we're here with Mark 0:11:54.720 --> 0:11:59.200 the negotiator. So how long can these negotiations last? 0:12:00.120 --> 0:12:04.720 So my quickest one was twenty one seconds and my 0:12:04.880 --> 0:12:10.160 longest one time it yeah right, yeah, that was that 0:12:10.200 --> 0:12:13.320 was I literally walked up and the person was like, look, 0:12:13.440 --> 0:12:15.160 I'm not coming out because you know you're going to 0:12:15.240 --> 0:12:17.360 bash me. And I was like, we ain't going to 0:12:17.400 --> 0:12:18.840 bash a man. Just come out with nothing in your 0:12:18.880 --> 0:12:20.240 hands and you'll be fine. And he's like, you won't 0:12:20.280 --> 0:12:22.760 bash me. I was like nah, he's like okay, coof So. 0:12:22.760 --> 0:12:24.720 You came in that the you turned around the other 0:12:24.720 --> 0:12:25.719 people they were like why didn't you? 0:12:25.800 --> 0:12:28.360 Yeah, you walk away from that and people are like wow, 0:12:28.440 --> 0:12:30.520 the negotiating and you're. 0:12:30.360 --> 0:12:33.720 Like, yeah, all of the days I say twenty one seconds, 0:12:33.760 --> 0:12:35.760 thank you. Yeah, so that was twenty one seconds. That 0:12:35.840 --> 0:12:37.800 mean you're only clock in for twenty one seconds that day, 0:12:37.800 --> 0:12:39.880 because that's not that's that's your taxes paying for that 0:12:40.000 --> 0:12:43.480 as well. Do sometimes make conversations go a little bit longer? 0:12:43.840 --> 0:12:47.360 Clock it extra. We're almost up to overtime. So what 0:12:47.440 --> 0:12:49.880 did you eat for breakfast day? Are your team Edward 0:12:49.960 --> 0:12:51.120 or team Jacob? Let me know. 0:12:52.080 --> 0:12:54.360 So that that was a quick one. The longest one 0:12:54.440 --> 0:12:57.439 in one sitting was about sixteen hours. So yeah, that's 0:12:57.480 --> 0:12:58.400 that's that's a long time. 0:12:58.480 --> 0:13:01.760 That's like a current phone conversation with my mother. Ye jeez, 0:13:02.320 --> 0:13:05.480 me negotiating be like I'm going to have to go. No, 0:13:05.800 --> 0:13:08.160 I've arrived, I'm in the driveway. I'm going to have 0:13:08.200 --> 0:13:11.920 to go. Moum. It happened today. Actually, I was like, 0:13:11.960 --> 0:13:17.920 I'm going the line's breaking up. Yeah, I'm in a tunnel. No, 0:13:18.000 --> 0:13:19.520 if you do that, she freaks out because then she 0:13:19.559 --> 0:13:21.440 calls me, she said, then she won't stop calling me, Like, 0:13:21.559 --> 0:13:26.640 have you been in a car? So yes? So, I 0:13:26.679 --> 0:13:30.160 mean I haven't worked out the intricacies of negotiating just yet, 0:13:30.200 --> 0:13:32.679 but maybe one day. Have you been able to use 0:13:32.720 --> 0:13:36.400 any of these skills you've developed in your personal life 0:13:36.559 --> 0:13:38.680 or do you just go do whatever you want? 0:13:38.720 --> 0:13:42.079 I'm not involved so a little bit now, And I guess, 0:13:42.720 --> 0:13:45.240 I guess sort of an irony is you know, being 0:13:45.240 --> 0:13:48.240 a negotiator is very upfront. You know everyone's looking at 0:13:48.280 --> 0:13:51.640 your But for me, especially naturally, I'm actually cor an introvert, 0:13:52.080 --> 0:13:55.160 especially in social situations, I get like super nervous. And 0:13:55.840 --> 0:13:58.679 the thing with negotiation is you're making everything about the 0:13:58.720 --> 0:14:01.640 other person, which is cool because I don't particularly like 0:14:01.640 --> 0:14:04.080 talking about myself and what I've done and which is 0:14:04.120 --> 0:14:07.240 ironic because I'm on a podcast. But you know, most 0:14:07.320 --> 0:14:09.520 times people want to talk about what they're passionate about. 0:14:09.880 --> 0:14:13.280 So if you're genuine, if you're curious, if you ask questions, 0:14:13.679 --> 0:14:15.000 usually people are going to want to talk to you. 0:14:15.280 --> 0:14:17.400 Like I said, it doesn't come naturally to me, but 0:14:17.760 --> 0:14:20.040 when I give it a crack, yes, it seems to work. 0:14:19.920 --> 0:14:23.160 All right, So how do you switch off them? That's 0:14:23.200 --> 0:14:24.320 actually a good question. 0:14:24.320 --> 0:14:28.160 So for me, work was work, So I was pretty 0:14:28.160 --> 0:14:31.280 good at turning up, doing the job, driving home, and 0:14:31.320 --> 0:14:34.080 then pretty much forgetting about it. So a lot of 0:14:34.120 --> 0:14:36.840 the times people, you know, say, you know, what if 0:14:36.840 --> 0:14:38.680 you've got troubles at home, what if you've got things 0:14:38.680 --> 0:14:40.760 happen in your personal life? How do you deal with 0:14:40.800 --> 0:14:43.560 that in a work sense? But for me, that are 0:14:43.560 --> 0:14:46.600 always real separate lives. So when I used to go 0:14:46.640 --> 0:14:48.600 to work, you know, it was actually it was like 0:14:48.640 --> 0:14:50.720 a different life. So you know, you go to work, 0:14:50.760 --> 0:14:53.560 you get involved in that drive home, Yeah all good, 0:14:54.120 --> 0:14:55.360 Well that's good, there's no crossover. 0:14:55.440 --> 0:14:57.360 But then do you have your like friends and family, 0:14:57.400 --> 0:14:59.800 how then you being like, hey, can you help with these? 0:15:00.040 --> 0:15:02.600 We know you're really good at it. Can you can 0:15:02.640 --> 0:15:05.840 you just come with me and help diffuse this situation? Please? 0:15:06.200 --> 0:15:10.040 Sometimes the one I heard or hear most commonly was 0:15:10.480 --> 0:15:12.920 you were negotiating, you know, you should be able to 0:15:13.000 --> 0:15:14.400 do this or you should be able to do that, 0:15:14.560 --> 0:15:15.240 And I'm like. 0:15:15.680 --> 0:15:18.240 Are you paying me? Yeah? Exactly unless I'm on the club. 0:15:19.840 --> 0:15:22.840 If you're paying me, that's fine by me. That's like 0:15:22.920 --> 0:15:24.960 my friends, You're like, oh, so and so is having 0:15:25.000 --> 0:15:29.280 a hen's party. Could you just swing past? No? Yeah? No, 0:15:29.560 --> 0:15:32.440 are you paying? No? We just thought you could. No, 0:15:32.560 --> 0:15:37.040 I can't. Yeah, yeah, they really like it. Yeah, I'd 0:15:37.080 --> 0:15:40.360 like not to be there, could we like? What's what's 0:15:40.400 --> 0:15:45.480 what's going on? And you've won that battle? Yes? So 0:15:45.480 --> 0:15:47.480 what do you say of your proudest achievements so far 0:15:47.920 --> 0:15:49.840 from your career? So, I guess. 0:15:49.600 --> 0:15:53.480 Proudest achievements, you know, are those ones that you get 0:15:53.480 --> 0:15:55.800 to help people. There's some I guess, bigger jobs that 0:15:55.800 --> 0:15:57.960 I've been to where you know, it's on the news 0:15:58.120 --> 0:15:59.960 and that that sort of stuff, and they're the ones 0:16:00.120 --> 0:16:04.720 that I guess, you know, people know as in you know, 0:16:04.760 --> 0:16:06.520 your family talk to you about them. But it's probably 0:16:06.560 --> 0:16:09.640 the smaller wins that are the better ones, sort of 0:16:09.640 --> 0:16:13.760 stuff so that the proudest ones. Yeah, when especially dealing 0:16:13.760 --> 0:16:15.920 with it with the teenagers. You know, we used to 0:16:15.920 --> 0:16:18.560 get those a lot. If I can help a sixteen 0:16:18.600 --> 0:16:21.480 seventeen year old kid turn their life around, you know 0:16:21.720 --> 0:16:23.800 that that's what it was all about for me. 0:16:24.720 --> 0:16:27.960 So feel free not to answer this if you don't 0:16:28.000 --> 0:16:32.440 run new But how successful have you been? So some 0:16:32.560 --> 0:16:33.240 don't end well? 0:16:33.920 --> 0:16:37.720 Had two fatalities while I was a negotiator, and in 0:16:37.760 --> 0:16:41.480 those situations like it's all I can do is give 0:16:41.520 --> 0:16:45.120 it my best shot, and you know, you try your best, 0:16:45.600 --> 0:16:47.760 you know, you try to make a connection, but you 0:16:47.800 --> 0:16:51.000 know I can only do what I can do. And 0:16:51.200 --> 0:16:52.560 it took me a while to get my head around 0:16:52.560 --> 0:16:55.640 that because you know, I would help a young person 0:16:55.920 --> 0:16:59.120 and then you know, you find out four weeks later 0:16:59.280 --> 0:17:01.960 that've been in the same situation again, and that used 0:17:01.960 --> 0:17:02.400 to get me. 0:17:02.840 --> 0:17:04.720 But it took me a little while. 0:17:04.920 --> 0:17:06.800 But once I've got my head around the fact that 0:17:07.160 --> 0:17:10.760 I'm only part of the system. So my job is 0:17:10.800 --> 0:17:13.360 to hopefully get you off that building, get you out 0:17:13.359 --> 0:17:16.280 of that house, and get you to someone else as 0:17:16.359 --> 0:17:18.119 part of the system as well, and hopefully we can 0:17:18.119 --> 0:17:20.840 get you that help. But you know, like I said, 0:17:20.880 --> 0:17:23.439 sometimes it doesn't end well, but all you can do 0:17:23.520 --> 0:17:24.560 is really give it your best shot. 0:17:25.280 --> 0:17:28.879 So you're no longer doing that with the police. What 0:17:29.000 --> 0:17:32.240 have you moved into now? Is this the mystery consultancy 0:17:32.320 --> 0:17:33.920 that it wouldn't give me information about it? 0:17:34.000 --> 0:17:35.600 I do have a business card. I've got many business 0:17:35.840 --> 0:17:37.520 they gave me, like five hundred business cards. I don't 0:17:37.520 --> 0:17:40.400 know what it's supposed to do with I. 0:17:40.359 --> 0:17:42.480 Know, So what do you do now? Like who do 0:17:42.520 --> 0:17:44.720 you work with? It in the same field. 0:17:44.840 --> 0:17:47.639 So sort of but different. So the company I work 0:17:47.720 --> 0:17:50.440 for is called pro Com Consulting. The boss will be happy. 0:17:50.480 --> 0:17:52.560 I mentioned that one we basically we do heaps of 0:17:52.640 --> 0:17:56.840 different stuff with different industries who deal with angry people 0:17:56.960 --> 0:18:01.680 or upset people, So a lot of stuff in healthcare, ambulance, Victoria. 0:18:01.760 --> 0:18:05.639 We work at the Ambos Hospitality. We're doing stuff with 0:18:05.720 --> 0:18:08.960 libraries now, and I was like, what's up with libraries? 0:18:08.960 --> 0:18:10.680 Like someone's talking too loud and they're. 0:18:10.480 --> 0:18:11.840 Not listening to the shush. 0:18:11.920 --> 0:18:13.920 But it's you know, they get a lot of people 0:18:13.960 --> 0:18:17.520 coming in causing issues. So yeah, it probably sounds like 0:18:17.520 --> 0:18:19.560 a cliche, but it's one of those industries that you'd 0:18:19.560 --> 0:18:22.680 probably prefer didn't exist. But you know, people are dealing 0:18:22.680 --> 0:18:24.160 with a lot of a lot of stuff out there, 0:18:24.200 --> 0:18:25.680 so yeah, we go and help them. 0:18:25.760 --> 0:18:30.520 So are you training people on how to diffew situations 0:18:30.520 --> 0:18:31.200 and deal with. 0:18:31.240 --> 0:18:32.920 Yes, yeah, yeah, yeah, So bring in some of the 0:18:32.920 --> 0:18:37.720 stuff from negotiator land into I guess private public sector 0:18:37.800 --> 0:18:40.080 and yeah, just just and again it's it's not one 0:18:40.119 --> 0:18:41.399 of those training. 0:18:41.040 --> 0:18:43.840 Courses where we rewrite who you are. 0:18:44.320 --> 0:18:46.760 It's one of those things where I'd hope most people 0:18:46.800 --> 0:18:48.840 would sit there and go, yeah, man, that's that's what 0:18:48.880 --> 0:18:49.240 I'm doing. 0:18:49.240 --> 0:18:54.000 That's I do that all the time. Seeing as you're 0:18:54.119 --> 0:18:57.080 you know, you're qualified in training people. I want you 0:18:57.119 --> 0:19:00.840 to train me today, please, yes? Okay, So you know 0:19:01.080 --> 0:19:03.280 there are many times in my life where I've needed 0:19:03.320 --> 0:19:06.000 to be good at negotiating and probably not very good 0:19:06.000 --> 0:19:08.600