Speaker 1: Hello, my name's Santasha Nabananga Bamblet. I'm a proud yr
Speaker 1: the Order Kerni Whoalbury and a waddery woman. And before
Speaker 1: we get started on She's on the Money podcast, I
Speaker 1: would like to acknowledge the traditional custodians of the land
Speaker 1: of which this podcast is recorded on a wondery country,
Speaker 1: acknowledging the elders, the ancestors and the next generation coming
Speaker 1: through as this podcast is about connecting, empowering, knowledge sharing
Speaker 1: and the storytelling of you to make a difference for
Speaker 1: today and lasting impact for tomorrow.
Speaker 2: Let's get into it.
Speaker 3: She's on the Money, She's on the Money.
Speaker 4: Hello, and welcome to She's on Me, the podcast for
Speaker 4: millennials who want financial freedom. Welcome back to another Shop
Speaker 4: Back Money Diary Monday, where we get to chat to
Speaker 4: one of our community members to learn all about them,
Speaker 4: their money, their story, their journey, their life and all
Speaker 4: of the fun bits in between.
Speaker 2: Victoria, what are you going to say about this one?
Speaker 2: Jess go, you have an outstanding.
Speaker 3: You.
Speaker 2: I am very excited. Should we get straight into it? Yes,
Speaker 2: let me tell you what they said? So our diarist wrote,
Speaker 2: Kyo or She's on the Money, team.
Speaker 3: Hey we friends.
Speaker 4: I am a thirty six year old New Zealand Maori,
Speaker 4: mother of two, emergency services worker and egg donor. I
Speaker 4: am the first on the Marti side to graduate from university.
Speaker 4: Growing up, money was very stressful. It was always tight
Speaker 4: and argued about often. We were never taught financial literacy
Speaker 4: and it made me want to get a good job
Speaker 4: or career in order to never have money problems. I
Speaker 4: can't wait to share my story with our community.
Speaker 2: Epic. Oh my gosh, let's get straight into it, money diarist,
Speaker 2: welcome to the show. You're hiding in the.
Speaker 3: Background, Kurta. Guys, how are you?
Speaker 2: We are so well. I'm excited to hear about your
Speaker 2: money story. Are you ready to get straight into it?
Speaker 3: Absolutely?
Speaker 2: All right, let's go. So first question is could you
Speaker 2: tell us a little bit about your money story?
Speaker 3: Yeah? Absolutely, I've had a bit of a thought about
Speaker 3: this growing up. I'm one of five kids and we
Speaker 3: grew up in a very small rural town in the
Speaker 3: South Island population less than a thousand people and one
Speaker 3: income family. So dad worked and he worked very hard.
Speaker 3: Money was extremely stressful growing up. It was never talked
Speaker 3: about and there are always many arguments about it to
Speaker 3: the point where I think all of us kids there
Speaker 3: was just so much stress around it, and I knew
Speaker 3: that in order to live a life how I wanted,
Speaker 3: I needed to get a good career. So back then
Speaker 3: I would say very stressful, pessimistic about money. But now
Speaker 3: that's obviously change over the last sort of good five years.
Speaker 3: Are more positive about money and optimistic. I would say, yeah, so.
Speaker 2: You're changing the narrative of where you've been to where
Speaker 2: you want to be. Absolutely yeah, I love that all right, Well,
Speaker 2: share with us the pervy details money, durist. What do
Speaker 2: you do for work? How much money do you earn?
Speaker 3: Okay, I am a paramedic and I'm part time and
Speaker 3: I'm on one hundred and six k.
Speaker 2: Oh, very nice. It's also rata because you're part time.
Speaker 3: Yeah. Yeah, and that's not including super very cool.
Speaker 2: I feel like paramedics don't get enough credit like you
Speaker 2: guys do such a special job. How epic. Do you
Speaker 2: love what you do?
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's challenging and every day is different. Coming up
Speaker 3: to twelve years in the job, and obviously the last
Speaker 3: couple of years have been stressful for everyone, and this
Speaker 3: year in particularly, i've really, really struggled working just with
Speaker 3: workload and with what was going on with lockdown, and
Speaker 3: then I've had a few family members that died as well,
Speaker 3: and I've ended up having to take a good eight
Speaker 3: weeks off work. I was burnt out, and I ended
Speaker 3: up having to see a psychologist, which I still see.
Speaker 3: She's fantastic, and she said, you know you need time off.
Speaker 3: You either go down work cover or we use yesiically
Speaker 3: she goes, because I don't want you to get to
Speaker 3: a point where it's too late, where you've gone past
Speaker 3: that exhaustion and you're off work and you can't get
Speaker 3: back on road. Because she said that she's got paramedics
Speaker 3: that have had two years off road and they can't
Speaker 3: get back on road because they just went past the
Speaker 3: point of exhaustion and burnout. And so at a much
Speaker 3: better place. Now, I'm back at work, and yeah, feeling better,
Speaker 3: but I'm still seeing the psychologists.
Speaker 2: Oh I'm glad, like I'm glad that you got to
Speaker 2: pick it up as early as that, because you do
Speaker 2: hear about people in our frontline roles that just get
Speaker 2: so burnt out. But I also just don't think, you know,
Speaker 2: this is maybe another stereotype jest that we need to break.
Speaker 2: But I just feel like people in those roles care
Speaker 2: so much about other people that when it comes to
Speaker 2: caring for themselves they just don't reach out for the
Speaker 2: help when they need it. And it's like, well, guys,
Speaker 2: like you need more support than anybody, Like you're carrying
Speaker 2: the weight of the world and so much trauma that
Speaker 2: other people go through on you. Like, it just makes
Speaker 2: sense that burnout would be a very real reality. However,
Speaker 2: we just need to identify it earlier and give ourselves
Speaker 2: the self care and the space to get through that.
Speaker 2: So I'm glad that you're back on the road. That's
Speaker 2: so exciting. We're so lucky.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, and you're absolutely right and normalize it by
Speaker 3: talking about it. I took very openly to any of
Speaker 3: my colleagues that I'm working with, because all of us
Speaker 3: need help at some stage. All of us do. And yeah,
Speaker 3: like I talked to my family about it. Whereas you know,
Speaker 3: growing up, mental health was another thing that was never
Speaker 3: talked about. It was everything was sweet under the rugue.
Speaker 2: It's just not helpful, No, it absolutely isn't. All right. Next,
Speaker 2: I would like to know, my friend, what's your big
Speaker 2: money goal.
Speaker 3: So my husband and I are very fortunate that we
Speaker 3: already own a house. That our big money goal because
Speaker 3: he's also a paramedic and so we've got some long
Speaker 3: service leave. So we're planning in twenty twenty five to
Speaker 3: take a year off and live overseas. So we'll about
Speaker 3: to do half pay for some of it and will
Speaker 3: have some annual leave. So a year off living overseas
Speaker 3: with our two kids.
Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, that's so exciting. Where are you going?
Speaker 3: Tell us more a typical our fashion. We're very disorganized,
Speaker 3: but we have the plan of basing ourselves in Italy.
Speaker 2: Oh, you're living my dream.
Speaker 3: We're so privileged, Like I can't even comprehend how very
Speaker 3: lucky we are, and we both know this, so very fortunate.
Speaker 3: Our kids are very very lucky as well.
Speaker 2: No, no, no, no, my friend, we need to reframe
Speaker 2: that actually, because you just said you're really lucky. But
Speaker 2: what you told me is you have this plan that
Speaker 2: you're working towards, and you're working really hard to do that.
Speaker 2: I don't actually think luck comes into it. I think
Speaker 2: that what you're going to achieve is because of your
Speaker 2: hard work and determination and the fact that you guys
Speaker 2: are killing it. So if we could just see it
Speaker 2: that way, like my friend Lucky is finding two dollars
Speaker 2: on the ground, it's not working so that in twenty
Speaker 2: twenty five you can live a year in Italy.
Speaker 3: Appreciate that. Thank you.
Speaker 2: Yeah, all right, let's move on to the next question.
Speaker 2: I want to know do you have any investments? If so,
Speaker 2: what are they?
Speaker 3: Absolutely so super The last time I checked that, which
Speaker 3: is probably I think four months ago, it was at
Speaker 3: one hundred and fifty k oh, good work, Yeah, very
Speaker 3: very lucky. And then I also have started the last
Speaker 3: couple of years investing in shares, so I made sure
Speaker 3: I did a lot of reading up on that before
Speaker 3: I sort of dip my toes. But that at the moment,
Speaker 3: I think is at thirty five k.
Speaker 2: Oh, very nice. Can you tell me a little bit
Speaker 2: more about that, though I'm really pervy, I wouldn't know.
Speaker 2: How did you get into the market, what made you
Speaker 2: take that next step, and how did you pick the
Speaker 2: asset that worked best for you?
Speaker 3: Absolutely so. I love to read and knowledge is power,
Speaker 3: So I just read a lot of financial books, a
Speaker 3: lot to kind of remember in particular which ones, and
Speaker 3: also podcasts She's on the Money, of course.
Speaker 2: And this season about ego stroking. I literally want to
Speaker 2: know because as women like, it's so hard to take
Speaker 2: that next step to go. I've read, I've listened, Like
Speaker 2: you know, there are even people in my team that
Speaker 2: are like Victoria, I hear from you all the time.
Speaker 2: I'm just still analysis paralysis, and I don't know how
Speaker 2: to go onto actually purchasing my first share. So no,
Speaker 2: it's not about did you listen to She's on the Money,
Speaker 2: It's like, how do you do it? Please share? We
Speaker 2: want to know.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I think for me, you've just got to work
Speaker 3: out what's works best for you. So I'm just like,
Speaker 3: I don't want to overwhelm myself with which platform is
Speaker 3: the right platform. So I ended up just going with Comsick.
Speaker 3: I just made a decision years. Some of their fees
Speaker 3: are a little bit high in terms of compared to
Speaker 3: other platforms, but I was like, I'll do it. And
Speaker 3: then researching about good standard blow chip stocks ETFs I
Speaker 3: really liked, and I would just sort of read into
Speaker 3: them as well, and you know what to look for.
Speaker 3: I'm not going to be picking random stocks that I
Speaker 3: don't know what they are or you know someone's given
Speaker 3: you a tip on what stock is going to be
Speaker 3: the best, So the majority like the S and P.
Speaker 3: Five hundred. Of course, obviously that's Warren Buffett. He was
Speaker 3: a huge influence too, as well as the very dry
Speaker 3: financial book, which I think you recommended I'd read a
Speaker 3: while ago. I forget the name of Are the Intelligent Investor?
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, I did recommend that My favorite dry book
Speaker 2: is actually the Richest Man in Babylon. But you know
Speaker 2: I'll read them for you. Guys. We did actually a
Speaker 2: recap a couple of months ago on the podcast of
Speaker 2: my favorite book, so you didn't have to read them,
Speaker 2: but I'm glad you did, my friend.
Speaker 3: Yes, it's very dry. It can also put you to
Speaker 3: sleep at times.
Speaker 2: Good night time reading. I reckon, if you can't sleep,
Speaker 2: pop that book beside your bed. Promise you won't suffer
Speaker 2: from insomnia again.
Speaker 3: Exactly. I agree. So yeah, I just really a lot
Speaker 3: of my own research and reading, and I just thought,
Speaker 3: you know what, I'll do one thousand dollar lots and
Speaker 3: just I started off, I think which was my first year,
Speaker 3: probably an ETF of some point or a listed investment company,
Speaker 3: and I know that they're good sort of standard stocks
Speaker 3: and then just reinvest the dividends. Yeah, what a queen.
Speaker 2: I love that. Thank you for sharing. All right, next question,
Speaker 2: my love, do you have any debts? If so, what
Speaker 2: are they?
Speaker 3: Yeah? Absolutely, obviously the mortgage, which I think is at
Speaker 3: four hundred K at the moment, and no consumer debt.
Speaker 3: We got rid of that quite a few years ago,
Speaker 3: paid out of cars and all of that. But I
Speaker 3: have my student loan from New Zealand and I should
Speaker 3: have paid it off years ago. But yeah, look there
Speaker 3: were a few years where you know, just wasn't paying
Speaker 3: and then paying minimum you know, the interest. So I've
Speaker 3: actually made a goal for myself to pay it out
Speaker 3: by June next year. I've already got sixteen K set
Speaker 3: aside because I think it's at thirty one K, and
Speaker 3: I'll just knock that out of the park. Yep.
Speaker 2: How exciting. I love that you've got a plan for it.
Speaker 2: I feel like that's yeah, No, that's really exciting because
Speaker 2: I feel like sometimes when we have outstanding debts, especially
Speaker 2: ones that we've been putting off for a long time,
Speaker 2: we just stick our head in the sand and we'll
Speaker 2: be like, oh, I just keep chipping away at it
Speaker 2: like it'll go away one day, like and you've got
Speaker 2: a plan and you know when it's going to happen,
Speaker 2: and you kind of smiled all the way through that.
Speaker 2: So it's not even worrying that much, which I love.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I think that. I know I should have had
Speaker 3: it knocked out years ago.
Speaker 2: Anyway, that's all right, That is all right. Well let's
Speaker 2: talk about maybe our money. When do you use shop back?
Speaker 3: I do, yes. I think I've got fifty dollars in
Speaker 3: there at the moment.
Speaker 2: Free money. We love you love that.
Speaker 3: What I've been doing is ordering the likes of Foods
Speaker 3: or muscle Shift. They're really handy meals to take.
Speaker 2: Oh there were meals on there too.
Speaker 3: Yeah. Yeah, Oh you're.
Speaker 2: Much smarter than me. I hadn't even thought about that.
Speaker 2: I knew that, like supermarkets were on there, so that's
Speaker 2: a good money win, but I didn't know you could
Speaker 2: order meal delivery serve. I learned something new every time
Speaker 2: I ask that question, honestly.
Speaker 3: Awesome.
Speaker 2: All right, speaking about money wins, I want to know
Speaker 2: what is your best money habit.
Speaker 3: When I set goals, I get that tunnel vision and
Speaker 3: I'll do it. So for example, like I've said, I've
Speaker 3: set this goal of paying out my student loan, and
Speaker 3: I'll no, I'll do it by June. So yeah, get
Speaker 3: that sort of determination and tunnel vision and just do it.
Speaker 2: I love that. Let's flip the narrative for a hot second.
Speaker 2: What's your worst money habit?
Speaker 3: I can take money out of savings sometimes, well not
Speaker 3: sometimes I might do it a bit too often. Then
Speaker 3: I want to like, oh, I'll just take out a
Speaker 3: bit of money, And it's generally to spend on food. Yeah,
Speaker 3: like takeaways, and so yeah, that's probably the worst one
Speaker 3: at the moment.
Speaker 2: That is not too bad if I do say so myself,
Speaker 2: also because I get it if it's for snacks. That
Speaker 2: story adds up last question before we go to a
Speaker 2: really quick break. What grade would you give yourself if
Speaker 2: we forced you to give yourself a money grade?
Speaker 3: I think it would be a solid B. We're on
Speaker 3: the way to being very financially stable. Yeah, I like that.
Speaker 2: What would you have to do to get.
Speaker 3: To an A? To get to an A? I would
Speaker 3: have to have the student loan knocked out and maybe
Speaker 3: the mortgage reduced. But we've already got our emergency fund,
Speaker 3: so I feel yeah, that that's not a problem, but
Speaker 3: it's yeah, just those other things.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I like that dune next year you're an a
Speaker 2: Then that makes sense. Story checks out. Let's go to
Speaker 2: a quick break because after the break, I really want
Speaker 2: to dive back into your money story. Don't go anywhere, guys.
Speaker 2: All right, we are back and money diarist. I feel
Speaker 2: like you've got a really interesting money story, and we
Speaker 2: touched on it at the start of the structured questions,
Speaker 2: but I want to dive back into it because you
Speaker 2: said that growing up, your parents argued a lot about money,
Speaker 2: and I feel like we all do that in different ways,
Speaker 2: shapes and forms. But as a younger human, what did
Speaker 2: you take from that, Like, did you feel it was
Speaker 2: just an overwhelming sense of anxiety or with the specific
Speaker 2: money issues they argued about. And I guess how does
Speaker 2: that now trail into the conversations you have with your
Speaker 2: partner about money?
Speaker 3: Yeah? Really good question. It was definitely a lot of anxiety.
Speaker 3: I think the un known as to what our situation was,
Speaker 3: whether we could afford to still rent where we were
Speaker 3: or oh, look, there was always food, we always had
Speaker 3: a roof over our head, and typical small town community
Speaker 3: like there's always support from the community, and we had
Speaker 3: a lot of families, so that very privileged in that respect.
Speaker 3: But I feel like for a long time into my
Speaker 3: twenties as well, still held on to that anxiety. So
Speaker 3: even when I was working, wasn't fantastic with money because
Speaker 3: we weren't taught about it, so basically spending all that
Speaker 3: we earned or not thinking about my future self in
Speaker 3: terms of putting money aside because it wasn't we didn't
Speaker 3: learn about it, and it was you know, you got money,
Speaker 3: you spent it, basically. So I think think for especially
Speaker 3: my sister and I, we always knew that we needed
Speaker 3: to get good jobs, good careers as a way of
Speaker 3: ending that cycle of being financially and stable. I guess,
Speaker 3: so that was my first step. But with this good
Speaker 3: career and e earning decent money, that doesn't mean that
Speaker 3: you know what to do with money and that you're
Speaker 3: going to be financially stable independent.
Speaker 2: Yeah, do you still feel anxious when people ask about
Speaker 2: money or talk about money, like where are your feelings
Speaker 2: at on this?
Speaker 3: A little bit? I think that's over the years that's
Speaker 3: actually reduced because when we paid out our car loans
Speaker 3: and we had a credit card, and there was another
Speaker 3: that we had. That anxiety started to go away, and
Speaker 3: it's amazing that the weight that's lifted off your shoulders
Speaker 3: by doing those things. So I feel that a lot
Speaker 3: of that anxiety has gone for sure because we don't
Speaker 3: have that consumer debt, we have a really decent emergency fund,
Speaker 3: we have good soupers, and we have a goal as
Speaker 3: to what we're doing in terms of investing for our future.
Speaker 3: So yeah, i'd say that I don't have that anxiety now.
Speaker 3: I can still in my mind think about when we
Speaker 3: grew up and not ever wanting to be in that situation.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that is so fair, And I feel like this
Speaker 2: is a really common narrative in our community where it's
Speaker 2: an underlying anxiety, you've grown up with it, you're not
Speaker 2: really sure how to reframe it, but you're starting to
Speaker 2: take positive steps towards creating a secure financial future, and
Speaker 2: then I feel like there's a bit of an ah
Speaker 2: moment where you go, this is how I can do that,
Speaker 2: and that anxiety dissipates. You mentioned before, we now have
Speaker 2: our emergency fund. I want to know about your emergency fund.
Speaker 2: Have you always had one? If not, how, when, where, why,
Speaker 2: and what's in it? And how did you decide how
Speaker 2: much needed to be in it?
Speaker 3: Yeah, good question because I find this fascinating. Everyone's emergency
Speaker 3: fund amount will always be different. So from what I've read,
Speaker 3: the information is anywhere from three to six months of
Speaker 3: living expenses. Some people might do it as their three
Speaker 3: to six months wage, but for us, I think I
Speaker 3: set the minimum of twenty five K. So we have
Speaker 3: twenty five k in there at the moment.
Speaker 2: Very nas very nice, very healthy.
Speaker 3: And we're just letting that. Each fortnight we get paid,
Speaker 3: I think two hundred to fortnite goes into that, and
Speaker 3: we'll just let that keet trickling away.
Speaker 2: I love that. Why are you continuing to contribute to
Speaker 2: your emergency fund? Do you feel like there's not enough
Speaker 2: in there? Or have you picked an amount like did
Speaker 2: you go, I want twenty five k because it covers
Speaker 2: three months worth of expenses? Is this the number that
Speaker 2: just makes you feel really comfy?
Speaker 1: Like?
Speaker 2: Where is it at?
Speaker 3: That's a good question. I know. I think I see
Speaker 3: goals in terms of so you know, twenty five k,
Speaker 3: and then you're like, oh, I could see that to
Speaker 3: be higher. But I think if there's always a minimum
Speaker 3: of twenty five K happy with that, and I think
Speaker 3: any excess in there, I think I'll just put into shares.
Speaker 3: So yeah, I like that.
Speaker 2: I don't mind that you're keeping on contributing to that.
Speaker 2: That's not a bad thing. I just want to know
Speaker 2: people's mentality around it, because it's interesting having had a
Speaker 2: conversation this week with someone who's like, oh, I don't
Speaker 2: really need it, I've got a credit card, and I'm like, ah,
Speaker 2: that gives me mad anxiety. But different things work for
Speaker 2: different people. And as much as you know I would
Speaker 2: love love love love love and genuinely believe every single
Speaker 2: human needs an emergency fund, my job is actually to
Speaker 2: educate you on all the options and then you make
Speaker 2: the best one for you. And if you've decided that's it,
Speaker 2: then that's all good. But my gosh, that would give
Speaker 2: me mad anxiety not knowing that I have some cash
Speaker 2: stashed away for a rainy day.
Speaker 3: Absolutely, yeah, I agree.
Speaker 4: I wanted to ask you about something that you mentioned
Speaker 4: in your writing. You said you're an emergency services worker
Speaker 4: and an egg donor, and I liked that you put
Speaker 4: it there because I feel like it kind of signaled
Speaker 4: to me that that was something that was really important
Speaker 4: to you. So I wanted to know more about why
Speaker 4: you made that decision, why you wanted to be an
Speaker 4: egg donor have there been any costs associated with that,
Speaker 4: because if I'm being honest, it's not something that I
Speaker 4: know a lot about, but I would really like to
Speaker 4: know how does that work.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's a very long story, so I'll try to
Speaker 3: convince it. When my husband and I decided to try
Speaker 3: for a family, were very realistic, I guess, probably because
Speaker 3: of the job we do in terms of we talked about, okay,
Speaker 3: so what happens if we can't conceive naturally? What are
Speaker 3: our options? So you know, we talked about IVF, we
Speaker 3: talked about other fertility treatments. What if that can't happen,
Speaker 3: what about donation from another woman? Adoption? All that. So
Speaker 3: we're very realistic. And also I said to my husband,
Speaker 3: and this is back I think twenty thirteen or fourteen,
Speaker 3: when I was sort of looking into starting a family,
Speaker 3: that one of my brothers is gay. He lives in
Speaker 3: London with his partner, and I said that if he
Speaker 3: ever wanted to have a family, I would hope someone
Speaker 3: would donate the eggs to them, and egg donation is
Speaker 3: something that I would like to do, provided I could
Speaker 3: have my own family, because it's such a special gift.
Speaker 3: Having children is incredible. And if I could do that
Speaker 3: for someone else, knowing that, you know, someone might do
Speaker 3: that for my brother and his partner if they wanted kids.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you are such a special human. My gosh, a paramedic,
Speaker 2: someone who cares that much about other family. That is wild.
Speaker 2: I love it. Were there any close associated with that
Speaker 2: for you?
Speaker 3: Yeah? So then we fast forward to twenty seventeen and
Speaker 3: my husband found an online article for look at an
Speaker 3: Ossie couple, a New Zealand Maori and a Ossie couple
Speaker 3: looking for a Maori egg donor, and they weren't getting
Speaker 3: anywhere because obviously it's very narrow.
Speaker 2: Yeah that's niche, that's it. But that has your name
Speaker 2: all written on it.
Speaker 3: So my husband's like, oh, what do you think? And
Speaker 3: I was like, oh do you think I Because you know,
Speaker 3: obviously the young are the better quality your eggs are.
Speaker 3: And at that stage I was thirty one, and I
Speaker 3: know I'm I'm not old, but obviously you know your
Speaker 3: quality of eggs and your number of eggs starts reducing,
Speaker 3: especially after thirty five and he's like, no, no, I said,
Speaker 3: you know what, Yeah, let's email and just throw basically
Speaker 3: throw my hat in the ring. And so sent an
Speaker 3: email saying who I was and about my family, what
Speaker 3: I did do, what tribe I descend from in New Zealand,
Speaker 3: and yeah, just a bit of information. And it felt
Speaker 3: good knowing that there would be you know, I thought, yeah,
Speaker 3: there'd be other women that would have done the same.
Speaker 3: And the boys, as I call them, that had an
Speaker 3: overwhelming response from women in New Zealand and Australia of
Speaker 3: special descent and I think over seventy women and yeah, look,
Speaker 3: and I don't think if all of those women met
Speaker 3: the criteria in terms of age and things like that,
Speaker 3: but I think my email was lucky last, which caught
Speaker 3: their eye as well. And so it was a bit
Speaker 3: of a process for them to sort of filter through
Speaker 3: everything and they sort of narrowed it down and it
Speaker 3: ended up having skype chats with I think they sort
Speaker 3: of narrowed it down to five women and then from
Speaker 3: there we had to go to our GPS and get
Speaker 3: blood tests because they can do like our blood test,
Speaker 3: it's an anti miller and hormone blood test, which basically
Speaker 3: can look at how many eggs you've got left, So
Speaker 3: obviously you want to pick a candidate that's got a
Speaker 3: good range of eggs. The process from there, so then
Speaker 3: I think there from there there was a couple of
Speaker 3: women that didn't quite meet that good criteria and then
Speaker 3: it came down to sort of a personal decision for
Speaker 3: them both and which they spoke with their families and
Speaker 3: they ended up picking me, which is in the end
Speaker 3: I was just happy that they had someone. And so
Speaker 3: in Australia, so obviously egg donation Saragac's firm donation is
Speaker 3: not commercial, meaning you don't get paid for it, so
Speaker 3: you know, you hear of it.
Speaker 2: In America they do.
Speaker 3: They do, that's right, So it's an altruistic.
Speaker 2: You do it because you're a kind human.
Speaker 3: Absolutely, and so basically what is covered so the boys
Speaker 3: will pay everything associated with the process, so that the IVY,
Speaker 3: if medications, the GP visits, that the blood tests, the
Speaker 3: going getting the ultrasounds, the flights up to because they're
Speaker 3: based in Queensland, the flights up to Queensland for the
Speaker 3: egg retrieval, the accommodation, the food, any days that I
Speaker 3: had to take or work all covered for I mean,
Speaker 3: they treated me like an absolute queen and we have
Speaker 3: a fantastic relationship, all all of us. And I mean
Speaker 3: so my husband and the boys. So they I've actually
Speaker 3: done IVF twice for them and they have a little girl.
Speaker 3: How special, Yes, and they're looking at doing another transfer soon.
Speaker 3: That's a little girl. She's just over to now and
Speaker 3: I have met her, and you just don't know how
Speaker 3: you're going to feel because she's come from me.
Speaker 2: She's genetically part of you.
Speaker 3: Right, Yeah, that's right. But it was because I'm known
Speaker 3: as Auntie, which's a very endearble germ as well in
Speaker 3: our culture. And it was beautiful, Like it was emotional
Speaker 3: obviously when I met her, but not like I didn't
Speaker 3: feel like I needed to take her home and that
Speaker 3: she was mine. It was just yeah, she's.
Speaker 2: Just a very special little girl.
Speaker 3: Yeah. Yeah, oh that.
Speaker 2: Is so special because you always, like people talk about
Speaker 2: egg donation as being something that is so you know,
Speaker 2: altruistic and so kind and special. But then there's you know,
Speaker 2: maybe that flip side of going, well, what if I
Speaker 2: meet this child and I feel like that's my child,
Speaker 2: like because quite literally genetically they've come from you. But oh,
Speaker 2: I love that. I love that for you and seeing
Speaker 2: that come full circle. Does that mean that there will
Speaker 2: be another baby at some point that is related to
Speaker 2: you in that family?
Speaker 3: I hope so, so they look at yourself. Obviously they
Speaker 3: have a surrogate and I haven't met her yet, that
Speaker 3: she's also another beautiful person. So hopefully looking at doing
Speaker 3: a transfer, the first transfer this month, so with their
Speaker 3: daughter that they have at the moment that she was
Speaker 3: the fourth transfers to the fourth embryo that took.
Speaker 2: Wow, that is honestly so special. I want to ask, though,
Speaker 2: would you do that for other families or are you like, no,
Speaker 2: this was just one that's enough, Like or is this
Speaker 2: something that you'll continue to do? Like how does this
Speaker 2: stuff work? Because I can imagine that ivf's really taxing
Speaker 2: on your body.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's a really good question because I find it
Speaker 3: all fascinating too. And each state has their own different laws.
Speaker 3: So for me personally, for me, it was always going
Speaker 3: to be I had to have a connection with a couple,
Speaker 3: and for me, it's always been that I would donate
Speaker 3: to one couple, whereas I know that other women have
Speaker 3: donated to multiple couples. And I believe in Victoria the
Speaker 3: law as you can only donate eight to ten women,
Speaker 3: I believe. I think New South Wales might be five
Speaker 3: donating five couples. And I think they're actually they include
Speaker 3: your own children in that. Oh well really, yeah, I'm
Speaker 3: not quite clear on that. Yeah, so that's my personal science.
Speaker 3: Other women might yeah, be more than happy to donate
Speaker 3: to multiple couples.
Speaker 2: Yeah, how special, Oh my gosh, And I want to
Speaker 2: be really pervy. Is your brother going to have a
Speaker 2: baby at any point? Is that some route that he
Speaker 2: wants to go down?
Speaker 3: Yeah? I know, I hope so. So he lives in
Speaker 3: London with his beautiful partner, and look, they both adore
Speaker 3: their nieces and nephews. Got a niece and nephew in
Speaker 3: England as well, And it might it might be I
Speaker 3: will have to ask him, because he'd be very upfront,
Speaker 3: he wouldn't mind me asking it all. But I mean,
Speaker 3: I just want him and his partner to get married.
Speaker 3: I want to You're like, I want to go with
Speaker 3: a wedding.
Speaker 2: I want to have a party. I like your partner
Speaker 2: lock it down? How exciting? Oh my gosh. You are
Speaker 2: honestly such a special human being, in your work, in
Speaker 2: your life, in the things you do for others. I
Speaker 2: am so glad you are part of our community. How
Speaker 2: lucky are we?
Speaker 3: I appreciate this, thank you.
Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, but Jess, I do think that is
Speaker 2: sadly all we have time for today. So Jess, why
Speaker 2: don't you wrap the boring but important stuff? Of course,
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Speaker 2: five two three. We'll see you on Wednesday. Eyes sigh