1 00:00:03,480 --> 00:00:06,840 Speaker 1: Welcome to Mindfulness Fridays with my dear friend Chad Patrick. 2 00:00:07,560 --> 00:00:12,160 Speaker 1: I'm so excited. Jadtles me too because we've never done this. 3 00:00:12,200 --> 00:00:13,840 Speaker 1: We've been talking about it for a little while. So 4 00:00:14,600 --> 00:00:17,600 Speaker 1: this is technically episode one of the. 5 00:00:19,360 --> 00:00:21,439 Speaker 2: Pod. Do you have your time on? 6 00:00:21,520 --> 00:00:23,440 Speaker 1: By the way, So I just realized I don't have 7 00:00:23,520 --> 00:00:26,160 Speaker 1: mine on our good Yeah, look at us doing all 8 00:00:26,200 --> 00:00:31,920 Speaker 1: the official stuff because I use the mic. So this 9 00:00:32,120 --> 00:00:35,800 Speaker 1: topic is stress and anxiety. I imagine it is something 10 00:00:35,800 --> 00:00:40,360 Speaker 1: that everybody feels, and even in your consult room when 11 00:00:40,360 --> 00:00:43,000 Speaker 1: people aren't coming to you for mindfulness or as a 12 00:00:43,040 --> 00:00:46,160 Speaker 1: counselor and they're coming to you for nutrition or atropathy. 13 00:00:46,320 --> 00:00:51,239 Speaker 1: I imagine that in every client you would see the 14 00:00:51,240 --> 00:00:53,640 Speaker 1: manifestation of stress and anxiety in some way. 15 00:00:54,720 --> 00:00:56,160 Speaker 3: Absolutely absolutely. 16 00:00:56,160 --> 00:00:59,600 Speaker 4: I mean it's if you're not getting stress at least 17 00:00:59,640 --> 00:01:01,920 Speaker 4: at some stage in your day, you're not kind of 18 00:01:01,960 --> 00:01:04,759 Speaker 4: responding to the needs of the environment. So it's well 19 00:01:04,800 --> 00:01:07,600 Speaker 4: unpack what's stress is why it's important, how we relate 20 00:01:07,600 --> 00:01:09,360 Speaker 4: to it, and how that can turn into anxiety and 21 00:01:09,400 --> 00:01:10,640 Speaker 4: problems as well, I suppose. 22 00:01:10,959 --> 00:01:13,080 Speaker 1: And this is one thing I have here, is like 23 00:01:13,120 --> 00:01:15,760 Speaker 1: how does it actually manifest because I think sometimes, Like 24 00:01:15,840 --> 00:01:19,040 Speaker 1: for me, I can do a whole day and it'll 25 00:01:19,040 --> 00:01:20,920 Speaker 1: get to like four or five pm in the afternoon, 26 00:01:20,920 --> 00:01:22,640 Speaker 1: I'm like, ugh, my heart rate. 27 00:01:22,680 --> 00:01:24,119 Speaker 2: My heart rate's like super high. 28 00:01:24,360 --> 00:01:27,720 Speaker 1: I had a meeting last Monday with my account and 29 00:01:27,760 --> 00:01:31,640 Speaker 1: she had this app on your phone sorry that measures 30 00:01:31,680 --> 00:01:33,720 Speaker 1: your stress and you put your thumbprint on it. I 31 00:01:33,720 --> 00:01:35,200 Speaker 1: don't know if it was a crock or not, but 32 00:01:36,120 --> 00:01:37,880 Speaker 1: she's like, oh, look, my stress is always in the 33 00:01:37,880 --> 00:01:39,480 Speaker 1: green at zero. And she's like, why don't you do it? 34 00:01:39,520 --> 00:01:41,200 Speaker 1: And I was like, Eh, you know, wis I'd just 35 00:01:41,240 --> 00:01:43,640 Speaker 1: been running around. I couldn't find where the meeting spot was, 36 00:01:43,720 --> 00:01:46,320 Speaker 1: so I knew that my heart rate would have been elevated, 37 00:01:47,000 --> 00:01:49,720 Speaker 1: and I'd eaten stuff I was allergic to earlier in 38 00:01:49,760 --> 00:01:52,520 Speaker 1: the morning and so like a bit of sugar and stuff, 39 00:01:52,560 --> 00:01:53,560 Speaker 1: so I would have. 40 00:01:53,520 --> 00:01:54,840 Speaker 2: Been inflamed in some way. 41 00:01:56,360 --> 00:01:59,800 Speaker 1: And I put my finger on this app and look 42 00:01:59,840 --> 00:02:01,640 Speaker 1: like I was about to have a heart attack. I 43 00:02:01,720 --> 00:02:04,160 Speaker 1: came off as red on the scale as you could, 44 00:02:04,280 --> 00:02:06,520 Speaker 1: and my heart rate was like ninety five beats per minute. 45 00:02:07,320 --> 00:02:09,000 Speaker 1: And I knew I was sweaty, like I knew I 46 00:02:09,000 --> 00:02:11,720 Speaker 1: was hard. I couldn't find where I was going. But 47 00:02:11,800 --> 00:02:15,080 Speaker 1: it didn't take me until that meeting that I realized 48 00:02:15,120 --> 00:02:17,840 Speaker 1: that I was in a stressed and kind of anxious 49 00:02:18,600 --> 00:02:21,679 Speaker 1: kind of state. Yeah, for a few hours. Yeah, yeah, 50 00:02:22,040 --> 00:02:24,440 Speaker 1: So it can manifest in the body, right, well. 51 00:02:24,320 --> 00:02:26,280 Speaker 4: Yeah, I mean stress is sort of found in the body. 52 00:02:26,320 --> 00:02:29,240 Speaker 4: So the stress response is an involved adaptation to help 53 00:02:29,320 --> 00:02:32,160 Speaker 4: us prepare for action, so to get away from a 54 00:02:32,160 --> 00:02:36,400 Speaker 4: saber tooth tiger, to you know, escape some sort of 55 00:02:36,480 --> 00:02:39,000 Speaker 4: danger essentially, So it's sort of supposed to be something 56 00:02:39,120 --> 00:02:40,240 Speaker 4: kind of short term that. 57 00:02:40,240 --> 00:02:43,000 Speaker 3: Prepares us for action. So we release. 58 00:02:42,760 --> 00:02:47,680 Speaker 4: Adrenaline, which gets our muscles moving, our heart pumping, It 59 00:02:47,720 --> 00:02:50,960 Speaker 4: makes us think very quickly. Also, narrow is our focus. 60 00:02:51,919 --> 00:02:53,320 Speaker 4: So a little bit of stress is good because we 61 00:02:53,360 --> 00:02:56,880 Speaker 4: need a narrow focus. Hone in get really fixated. If 62 00:02:56,880 --> 00:02:58,880 Speaker 4: we're trying to escape some kind of threat. We can't 63 00:02:58,919 --> 00:03:01,200 Speaker 4: be sort of wondering what's dinner. If we're escaping a 64 00:03:01,240 --> 00:03:03,519 Speaker 4: saving to the tiger, we just need how the fuck 65 00:03:03,560 --> 00:03:06,399 Speaker 4: do we get out of here? That's the priority. So 66 00:03:07,560 --> 00:03:09,960 Speaker 4: our mind becomes very focused. It sort of cuts out 67 00:03:10,000 --> 00:03:12,960 Speaker 4: sort of extra kind of thinking. Our body becomes sort 68 00:03:13,000 --> 00:03:17,120 Speaker 4: of tense, ready for movement, our digestion and sort of 69 00:03:17,160 --> 00:03:19,440 Speaker 4: non essential kind of function sort of slowed down. 70 00:03:19,320 --> 00:03:19,840 Speaker 3: A little bit. 71 00:03:19,880 --> 00:03:22,600 Speaker 4: More of the energy in the body is directed to 72 00:03:23,240 --> 00:03:28,240 Speaker 4: movement and energy production. So in the short term that's great, 73 00:03:28,280 --> 00:03:30,160 Speaker 4: helps us to get away from threat, and in our 74 00:03:30,240 --> 00:03:32,000 Speaker 4: day to day lives, a little bit of stress is 75 00:03:32,040 --> 00:03:34,480 Speaker 4: important for us to be focused, to have the energy 76 00:03:34,639 --> 00:03:38,760 Speaker 4: to commit to something. But when that stress response is 77 00:03:38,840 --> 00:03:43,400 Speaker 4: ongoing and prolonged and doesn't get switched off, then it 78 00:03:43,480 --> 00:03:47,040 Speaker 4: starts to impact on our physiology in really negative ways. 79 00:03:47,040 --> 00:03:49,240 Speaker 3: So you'll have, you know, increased risk of. 80 00:03:50,240 --> 00:03:55,960 Speaker 4: High blood pressure, cutdiovascular disease, tension, headaches, irritable bow symptoms, 81 00:03:58,600 --> 00:04:02,040 Speaker 4: well even get fulness, foggy headedness, all of those sorts 82 00:04:02,040 --> 00:04:02,600 Speaker 4: of things. 83 00:04:02,760 --> 00:04:04,880 Speaker 1: In the intro you talked about, I forgot the word 84 00:04:04,880 --> 00:04:06,880 Speaker 1: talanans or something tellum. 85 00:04:07,280 --> 00:04:08,720 Speaker 2: Yes, I imagine it ages. 86 00:04:09,000 --> 00:04:11,600 Speaker 4: It does impact on the aging process as well, especially 87 00:04:11,640 --> 00:04:14,440 Speaker 4: when it's when it's sort of prolonged. So some of 88 00:04:14,480 --> 00:04:17,000 Speaker 4: the signs we might have of being stressed would be 89 00:04:17,960 --> 00:04:22,279 Speaker 4: changes in our thoughts. So we might have racing thoughts, worries, anticipation, rumination. 90 00:04:22,480 --> 00:04:24,080 Speaker 3: We can't sort of switch off. 91 00:04:25,240 --> 00:04:28,000 Speaker 4: We could become a bit fixated on a certain problem, 92 00:04:28,200 --> 00:04:31,279 Speaker 4: feelings of sensations in the body. We might have muscle tension, 93 00:04:31,480 --> 00:04:34,280 Speaker 4: restless legs, mouth might dry up a bit, We don't 94 00:04:34,320 --> 00:04:36,960 Speaker 4: make as much saliaba. We might breathe more from the 95 00:04:37,040 --> 00:04:39,800 Speaker 4: mouth instead of through the nose, shallow breathing. We might 96 00:04:39,839 --> 00:04:43,040 Speaker 4: get a bit of indigestion, heartburn that butterflies in the tummy. 97 00:04:44,080 --> 00:04:46,599 Speaker 4: Sleep might be affected, might have difficulty getting to sleep, 98 00:04:46,680 --> 00:04:48,440 Speaker 4: or we wake through the night, or we wake feeling 99 00:04:48,480 --> 00:04:53,280 Speaker 4: hot and sweaty, might get nightmares or unrefreshing sleep. We 100 00:04:53,360 --> 00:04:56,599 Speaker 4: might get food cravings. So our body is like, you know, 101 00:04:56,640 --> 00:04:58,800 Speaker 4: you're burning up all this energy stressing. You need to 102 00:04:58,800 --> 00:05:00,680 Speaker 4: get something that's quick, high in and she source it 103 00:05:00,640 --> 00:05:03,040 Speaker 4: will go for sugar or fats as a as a. 104 00:05:03,120 --> 00:05:04,640 Speaker 3: Thought to get into you. 105 00:05:06,680 --> 00:05:09,320 Speaker 4: And you know, we might be experiencing more health issues 106 00:05:09,360 --> 00:05:12,440 Speaker 4: like headaches, digestive problems, high blood pressure, panic attacks, and 107 00:05:12,480 --> 00:05:15,720 Speaker 4: then prolonged prolonged stress can lead to things like anxiety 108 00:05:15,720 --> 00:05:18,279 Speaker 4: and depression, mood issues, and even things like skin breakouts, 109 00:05:18,320 --> 00:05:19,800 Speaker 4: et cetera can be stress related as well. 110 00:05:19,800 --> 00:05:20,880 Speaker 3: So it has a. 111 00:05:20,560 --> 00:05:27,040 Speaker 4: Big impact on our whole physiology. When does stress become negative, 112 00:05:27,240 --> 00:05:29,080 Speaker 4: So we know that a bit of stress is good 113 00:05:29,120 --> 00:05:32,280 Speaker 4: and too much stress is bad. And we know some 114 00:05:32,360 --> 00:05:34,440 Speaker 4: people seem to be get stressed out about the smallest 115 00:05:34,440 --> 00:05:36,479 Speaker 4: things and fall into a heap and become really sick 116 00:05:36,520 --> 00:05:38,240 Speaker 4: from it. And then you know these other people who 117 00:05:38,279 --> 00:05:40,400 Speaker 4: are like you know, high powered executives who are running 118 00:05:41,040 --> 00:05:43,440 Speaker 4: and then they're super resilient and they seem to thrive 119 00:05:43,520 --> 00:05:45,960 Speaker 4: off it. And a lot of it also comes down 120 00:05:45,960 --> 00:05:50,560 Speaker 4: to our perception. So our perceived ability to deal with 121 00:05:50,640 --> 00:05:54,960 Speaker 4: this thing that's causing us stress has a direct influence 122 00:05:55,040 --> 00:05:57,840 Speaker 4: on the negative impact that that stress has in our body. 123 00:05:58,240 --> 00:06:00,640 Speaker 4: So the difference between stress and excite men is just 124 00:06:00,680 --> 00:06:04,400 Speaker 4: a label. And often if we're you know, when we're 125 00:06:04,440 --> 00:06:07,720 Speaker 4: excited and pumped about something, that we interpret that as 126 00:06:07,760 --> 00:06:09,960 Speaker 4: a good feeling even though the same thing's going on 127 00:06:10,040 --> 00:06:15,359 Speaker 4: our heart rates increasing, our you know, muscles are becoming activated, but. 128 00:06:16,080 --> 00:06:19,520 Speaker 2: It's having the same feelings. Feel has the. 129 00:06:19,480 --> 00:06:21,000 Speaker 3: Way ziological sort of effects. 130 00:06:21,000 --> 00:06:23,359 Speaker 4: Well, I think in those instances you get that peaks 131 00:06:23,400 --> 00:06:26,760 Speaker 4: of stress, and then after the goal is that have achieved, 132 00:06:26,760 --> 00:06:29,159 Speaker 4: it rapidly comes down. With someone who doesn't feel in 133 00:06:29,200 --> 00:06:33,960 Speaker 4: control of their situation, the threat never really leaves, so 134 00:06:33,960 --> 00:06:36,719 Speaker 4: they're sort of stuck in this dangerous threat state, and 135 00:06:36,760 --> 00:06:41,240 Speaker 4: that's when it become become dangerous or a negative to 136 00:06:41,279 --> 00:06:42,200 Speaker 4: it towards a health. 137 00:06:42,440 --> 00:06:45,440 Speaker 1: So for people listening, like I know, like I do 138 00:06:45,520 --> 00:06:47,840 Speaker 1: acting school, and I know I'll get butterflies and sweaty 139 00:06:47,880 --> 00:06:50,360 Speaker 1: palms before I go on stage every time. 140 00:06:50,880 --> 00:06:53,200 Speaker 2: But then after it, you almost get like, I don't 141 00:06:53,240 --> 00:06:53,880 Speaker 2: know if this is a thing. 142 00:06:53,920 --> 00:06:56,000 Speaker 1: You feel like getting a serotonin high because you feel 143 00:06:56,040 --> 00:06:58,400 Speaker 1: like you've achieved this thing and you were out of 144 00:06:58,400 --> 00:07:01,040 Speaker 1: your comfort zone. And the teachers always say to us 145 00:07:01,120 --> 00:07:04,560 Speaker 1: is like, when you're uncomfortable, you're learning. Yeah, you know, 146 00:07:04,560 --> 00:07:06,240 Speaker 1: you're not doing the same thing. You're not staying in 147 00:07:06,240 --> 00:07:08,280 Speaker 1: your safety and of what you know is within your 148 00:07:08,320 --> 00:07:11,040 Speaker 1: skill set or talkid. And so for me, I'm like, 149 00:07:11,040 --> 00:07:13,160 Speaker 1: oh god, here the butterflies again. Oh God, here my 150 00:07:13,200 --> 00:07:16,400 Speaker 1: sweaty hands again. And I can feel it. But because 151 00:07:16,440 --> 00:07:19,520 Speaker 1: I do feel like a sense of achievement comes after 152 00:07:19,600 --> 00:07:23,600 Speaker 1: going through that uncomfortable thing. It feels I noticed though 153 00:07:23,640 --> 00:07:25,560 Speaker 1: I do get I sleep so well that night, I 154 00:07:25,560 --> 00:07:30,720 Speaker 1: feel quite exhausted, but I feel like a sense of oh, well, LOLd, 155 00:07:30,760 --> 00:07:33,840 Speaker 1: you've learnt something about yourself. You've learned that you're probably 156 00:07:33,840 --> 00:07:35,880 Speaker 1: a bit stronger than you realize all these things. But 157 00:07:36,560 --> 00:07:39,080 Speaker 1: so is that more excitements. 158 00:07:39,120 --> 00:07:41,080 Speaker 4: Yeah, that's sort of an excited stress or when stress 159 00:07:41,160 --> 00:07:47,680 Speaker 4: is actually healthy. So you're focused, you're you know, you're engaged. Yeah, 160 00:07:47,720 --> 00:07:51,080 Speaker 4: and then you do the thing that's causing you the stress. 161 00:07:51,360 --> 00:07:53,160 Speaker 4: You get through it, and at the end of it, 162 00:07:53,160 --> 00:07:55,440 Speaker 4: you're kind of like, ah, I'm satisfied. I achieved what 163 00:07:55,480 --> 00:07:57,320 Speaker 4: I need to achieve, and you kind of and it 164 00:07:57,320 --> 00:08:00,400 Speaker 4: sounds like in your example, you're kind of almost celebrating thing, Yeah, 165 00:08:00,440 --> 00:08:01,520 Speaker 4: I did that, Well done me. 166 00:08:02,000 --> 00:08:03,000 Speaker 3: This is what I learned. 167 00:08:03,280 --> 00:08:05,760 Speaker 4: Oh yep, I face these challenges, but now I know 168 00:08:05,920 --> 00:08:08,360 Speaker 4: for next time. So it's a really healthy example of 169 00:08:08,360 --> 00:08:11,280 Speaker 4: the stress response. An example where it would go wrong 170 00:08:11,400 --> 00:08:15,400 Speaker 4: would be you ruminate over every little thing you did wrong. 171 00:08:15,560 --> 00:08:17,960 Speaker 4: You think you did it wrong because you felt stressed. 172 00:08:18,040 --> 00:08:20,360 Speaker 4: The other people look so relaxed and I didn't. And 173 00:08:21,720 --> 00:08:24,720 Speaker 4: you obsess over the sweatiness of the palms of your 174 00:08:24,720 --> 00:08:26,640 Speaker 4: hands and that your mouth is drying up and I 175 00:08:26,640 --> 00:08:29,360 Speaker 4: didn't speak correctly and they might have misheard me, and 176 00:08:29,520 --> 00:08:31,240 Speaker 4: what are the consequences of that going to be? 177 00:08:31,320 --> 00:08:32,920 Speaker 3: And the mind doesn't switch off. 178 00:08:32,920 --> 00:08:36,120 Speaker 4: The stress response keeps going because we feel like we 179 00:08:36,120 --> 00:08:38,560 Speaker 4: weren't in control of that situation, we weren't able to 180 00:08:38,600 --> 00:08:40,800 Speaker 4: meet the need, we weren't able to meet the demands 181 00:08:40,800 --> 00:08:42,959 Speaker 4: of the situation. So that's when stress becomes a problem 182 00:08:43,040 --> 00:08:45,320 Speaker 4: if we feel we're not in control of the situation 183 00:08:45,520 --> 00:08:48,280 Speaker 4: or we don't have the resources available to meet the 184 00:08:48,320 --> 00:08:49,479 Speaker 4: demands of the situation. 185 00:08:49,880 --> 00:08:50,960 Speaker 2: Isn't that also perception? 186 00:08:51,040 --> 00:08:53,440 Speaker 4: Though, a lot of it comes down to perception, and 187 00:08:53,480 --> 00:08:55,439 Speaker 4: that's where things like therapy and stuff like that can 188 00:08:55,520 --> 00:08:59,439 Speaker 4: help because we can examine our kind of assumptions about 189 00:08:59,480 --> 00:09:01,280 Speaker 4: our own life and personalities. 190 00:09:03,040 --> 00:09:04,480 Speaker 2: That's where I'm going to just interject you. 191 00:09:04,480 --> 00:09:06,840 Speaker 1: That's where I found therapy so helpful that I'll be like, 192 00:09:07,520 --> 00:09:08,800 Speaker 1: why don't you do that thing on stage? 193 00:09:08,840 --> 00:09:11,200 Speaker 2: And then I'm like, nobody cares. Get over yourself. 194 00:09:11,240 --> 00:09:13,920 Speaker 1: Like I quickly will be just like, Lola, this is 195 00:09:13,920 --> 00:09:16,960 Speaker 1: your own judgment. No one would have thought that, yes, 196 00:09:17,440 --> 00:09:19,760 Speaker 1: leave it at the door. Yeah, And that's I would 197 00:09:19,800 --> 00:09:22,520 Speaker 1: attribute to two and a half years of weekly non 198 00:09:22,520 --> 00:09:23,560 Speaker 1: negotiable therapy. 199 00:09:23,640 --> 00:09:24,000 Speaker 3: Yeah. 200 00:09:24,080 --> 00:09:26,760 Speaker 4: Yeah, And I think it's you know, you hit the 201 00:09:26,880 --> 00:09:28,360 Speaker 4: nail on the head there with that kind of switching 202 00:09:28,360 --> 00:09:30,920 Speaker 4: sort of gears. You're noticing what your mind's doing, and 203 00:09:30,960 --> 00:09:32,920 Speaker 4: you're kind of like, actually, right now, in this moment, 204 00:09:32,960 --> 00:09:34,440 Speaker 4: I don't need to pay attention to that. So we 205 00:09:34,480 --> 00:09:36,880 Speaker 4: talked in the last episode about the default mode network 206 00:09:36,920 --> 00:09:39,000 Speaker 4: and how that was essential for our survival. But it 207 00:09:39,040 --> 00:09:42,559 Speaker 4: gets hooked on problems, and sometimes we can look objectively 208 00:09:42,600 --> 00:09:45,080 Speaker 4: at the problem our minds trying to solve and be like, actually, 209 00:09:45,080 --> 00:09:47,080 Speaker 4: that's not relevant for this period of time. Right now, 210 00:09:47,120 --> 00:09:48,800 Speaker 4: I can sort of let that go. I can let 211 00:09:48,800 --> 00:09:51,280 Speaker 4: that drop. And that takes practice being able to do 212 00:09:51,320 --> 00:09:54,560 Speaker 4: that because the mine by nature in a way, by nature, 213 00:09:54,640 --> 00:09:56,600 Speaker 4: we'll get hooked by those sorts of things. 214 00:09:57,520 --> 00:09:59,559 Speaker 2: Ask one more question. I know I'm going to run 215 00:09:59,559 --> 00:10:01,840 Speaker 2: our time, But is an. 216 00:10:01,679 --> 00:10:05,560 Speaker 1: Example of like stressful experience. And as you were saying 217 00:10:05,640 --> 00:10:08,079 Speaker 1: this about like you've got this stressful thing ahead of you. 218 00:10:08,080 --> 00:10:11,280 Speaker 2: You know, the lead up is like it's scary. 219 00:10:12,320 --> 00:10:14,600 Speaker 1: And then you do this thing and you're like, oh, 220 00:10:14,640 --> 00:10:17,280 Speaker 1: I have a sense of achievement and it almost becomes 221 00:10:17,280 --> 00:10:20,320 Speaker 1: a high and really positive thing. Just to put introspective 222 00:10:20,320 --> 00:10:24,199 Speaker 1: of anybody that has skydived, it is like a heightened 223 00:10:24,720 --> 00:10:28,439 Speaker 1: and it's a very like imagine on steroids what you're discussing. 224 00:10:28,520 --> 00:10:30,440 Speaker 1: I remember I did a car deal and they're like, 225 00:10:30,480 --> 00:10:33,000 Speaker 1: we're gonna send you because it was like an adventure car, 226 00:10:33,040 --> 00:10:34,720 Speaker 1: and then like, we're gonna send you skydiving, and I 227 00:10:34,760 --> 00:10:36,880 Speaker 1: was like, Oh my god, I'll kick myself if I 228 00:10:36,880 --> 00:10:40,240 Speaker 1: never do this. But I'm petrified. And I remember any 229 00:10:40,320 --> 00:10:42,240 Speaker 1: time for two weeks in the lead up, because I 230 00:10:42,280 --> 00:10:44,040 Speaker 1: knew two weeks before that I was doing it. They'd 231 00:10:44,080 --> 00:10:46,360 Speaker 1: be like, oh, wow, you're skydiving, and my hand had 232 00:10:46,400 --> 00:10:51,360 Speaker 1: start sweating straight away. And I remember the whole lead up, 233 00:10:51,400 --> 00:10:53,800 Speaker 1: the whole morning, the like days in the leadup, I 234 00:10:53,800 --> 00:10:55,480 Speaker 1: was like, oh, you could die in two days time. 235 00:10:55,520 --> 00:10:59,480 Speaker 1: You could like very real like fear and very real 236 00:10:59,559 --> 00:11:02,960 Speaker 1: stress and a sense of anxiety because I was going 237 00:11:03,000 --> 00:11:05,840 Speaker 1: over it and I was building up this experience in 238 00:11:05,880 --> 00:11:08,280 Speaker 1: my mind to be negative, probably because that's how our 239 00:11:08,280 --> 00:11:09,040 Speaker 1: brains are wide. 240 00:11:09,480 --> 00:11:10,160 Speaker 2: And I remember this. 241 00:11:10,280 --> 00:11:13,640 Speaker 1: Second that I sat down in this shonky plane because 242 00:11:13,679 --> 00:11:16,600 Speaker 1: anyone that skydive knows it's a tiny plane with literally 243 00:11:16,600 --> 00:11:19,959 Speaker 1: a plastic roller door on the side, and they corkscrew 244 00:11:20,040 --> 00:11:21,439 Speaker 1: to get you up, so you have to go through 245 00:11:21,440 --> 00:11:23,360 Speaker 1: too layer. Well, I had to go through two levels 246 00:11:23,440 --> 00:11:26,040 Speaker 1: of cloud, so you go through the first level and 247 00:11:26,040 --> 00:11:27,560 Speaker 1: you're like, oh, we're about to dump from here, and 248 00:11:27,559 --> 00:11:29,640 Speaker 1: they're like, no, no, no, we're going to thirteen thousand feet 249 00:11:30,040 --> 00:11:33,280 Speaker 1: thirteen thousand feet. So you corkscrew more and more and 250 00:11:33,280 --> 00:11:35,440 Speaker 1: more and more, and you've got someone attached to your back. 251 00:11:35,520 --> 00:11:37,560 Speaker 1: And I remember my guy was like, what are you 252 00:11:37,559 --> 00:11:39,000 Speaker 1: going to give me if I keep you alive? 253 00:11:39,160 --> 00:11:42,960 Speaker 2: And I was like anything? You want my phone? 254 00:11:43,520 --> 00:11:45,760 Speaker 1: He asked me out when we landed, He's like, you 255 00:11:45,800 --> 00:11:49,160 Speaker 1: said anything, and I'm like no, no, no. But my point 256 00:11:49,200 --> 00:11:52,280 Speaker 1: is the fear only left me, like to be completely honest, 257 00:11:52,320 --> 00:11:54,640 Speaker 1: and it's almost like when we somehow and this is 258 00:11:54,679 --> 00:11:56,800 Speaker 1: before I had therapy or anything like that. 259 00:11:57,600 --> 00:11:59,960 Speaker 2: I remember the lead up, obsessive, like. 260 00:12:00,080 --> 00:12:03,280 Speaker 1: Quiet OCD about it and and I can as I'm 261 00:12:03,360 --> 00:12:07,000 Speaker 1: saying this, my whole body is tightening up. And then 262 00:12:07,240 --> 00:12:09,720 Speaker 1: the second I sat down in that shonky little plane 263 00:12:09,920 --> 00:12:14,480 Speaker 1: with five other people, I was totally at peace and calm. 264 00:12:14,520 --> 00:12:17,640 Speaker 1: It was almost like my brain had gone, you've made 265 00:12:17,640 --> 00:12:21,560 Speaker 1: this choice, you better enjoy it. And it was my 266 00:12:21,600 --> 00:12:24,520 Speaker 1: brain just was like and people don't jump. People will 267 00:12:24,520 --> 00:12:25,880 Speaker 1: get all the way up and be like I'm out. 268 00:12:25,960 --> 00:12:27,920 Speaker 3: This is what happened wholeheartedly. 269 00:12:28,240 --> 00:12:29,280 Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah. 270 00:12:29,280 --> 00:12:30,559 Speaker 3: My palms are sweating here. 271 00:12:30,760 --> 00:12:34,120 Speaker 1: This is because I feel like this explains the stress 272 00:12:34,120 --> 00:12:38,000 Speaker 1: and anxiety anyway. And then I jumped with a friend 273 00:12:38,040 --> 00:12:39,599 Speaker 1: and so my guy was like, look, we've got to 274 00:12:39,640 --> 00:12:42,320 Speaker 1: go pro on my jumper's hand, so you're attached to 275 00:12:42,360 --> 00:12:44,920 Speaker 1: someone tandem, and so I had to hang out of 276 00:12:44,960 --> 00:12:47,640 Speaker 1: the plane literally. Well, my friend had jumped before me 277 00:12:47,920 --> 00:12:50,320 Speaker 1: so he could film it, and by this stage I'm 278 00:12:50,320 --> 00:12:53,280 Speaker 1: just like, well, let's go for it. And because the 279 00:12:53,920 --> 00:12:56,360 Speaker 1: I'd given over to the experience on the way up 280 00:12:56,400 --> 00:12:58,240 Speaker 1: in the plane, I've never spoken about this before and 281 00:12:58,280 --> 00:13:01,600 Speaker 1: a podcasts, it became this gift that I was like, well, 282 00:13:01,600 --> 00:13:04,240 Speaker 1: how lucky am I that I'm even doing this? And 283 00:13:04,280 --> 00:13:06,640 Speaker 1: then you do the jump and it's incredible and it's 284 00:13:06,679 --> 00:13:09,680 Speaker 1: like the freefall is like the best twenty seconds of 285 00:13:09,679 --> 00:13:12,160 Speaker 1: your life or whatever that freefall is, and then they 286 00:13:12,200 --> 00:13:17,280 Speaker 1: pull the parachute and it's like super blissful and calm. 287 00:13:17,600 --> 00:13:21,480 Speaker 1: And then when I landed for two weeks, I had 288 00:13:21,480 --> 00:13:23,640 Speaker 1: this I don't know if it's a dope meine serotonin 289 00:13:23,800 --> 00:13:27,079 Speaker 1: kind of a rush, but I felt like I was invincible. 290 00:13:27,240 --> 00:13:29,000 Speaker 1: And the friend that I jumped with. We had to 291 00:13:29,000 --> 00:13:30,959 Speaker 1: see each other every day. We had this like bond 292 00:13:31,080 --> 00:13:34,199 Speaker 1: that we felt like we'd defied life. 293 00:13:35,760 --> 00:13:36,800 Speaker 2: And to me, I feel like. 294 00:13:36,760 --> 00:13:40,480 Speaker 1: It's this stress, this stress kind of like I don't 295 00:13:40,520 --> 00:13:42,839 Speaker 1: know if it's just fascinating to think of the brain 296 00:13:42,960 --> 00:13:44,520 Speaker 1: and the way that it kind of like can build 297 00:13:44,559 --> 00:13:47,640 Speaker 1: something up to be negative and then switch. 298 00:13:47,320 --> 00:13:48,320 Speaker 2: It to such a positive. 299 00:13:48,679 --> 00:13:50,120 Speaker 1: And it was one of the if you said one 300 00:13:50,160 --> 00:13:52,240 Speaker 1: of the five coolest things you've done in your life, 301 00:13:52,280 --> 00:13:55,000 Speaker 1: I'd say that and swimming with whale sharks, which are 302 00:13:55,000 --> 00:13:57,920 Speaker 1: bigger than this house that we're in in the wild, 303 00:13:58,040 --> 00:14:01,160 Speaker 1: you know, and they're all things that are trifying and 304 00:14:01,240 --> 00:14:02,400 Speaker 1: you could die from. 305 00:14:02,520 --> 00:14:03,040 Speaker 3: Yeah. 306 00:14:03,160 --> 00:14:05,480 Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't know what the science or theory is 307 00:14:05,520 --> 00:14:05,760 Speaker 2: in that. 308 00:14:06,080 --> 00:14:06,440 Speaker 3: Yeah. 309 00:14:06,480 --> 00:14:10,880 Speaker 4: Well, I mean a big part of encountering a stressful 310 00:14:10,920 --> 00:14:16,840 Speaker 4: situation from an evolutionary perspective is to learn how to 311 00:14:17,040 --> 00:14:20,120 Speaker 4: either avoid that threat in the past or learn from 312 00:14:20,160 --> 00:14:22,240 Speaker 4: that threat so that you know how to handle it. 313 00:14:22,280 --> 00:14:24,040 Speaker 4: And it sounds like in that moment you were kind 314 00:14:24,040 --> 00:14:26,480 Speaker 4: of like, I've got this, i can handle this, I'm 315 00:14:26,520 --> 00:14:29,280 Speaker 4: in safe hands. I'm just giving it over to the 316 00:14:29,360 --> 00:14:33,920 Speaker 4: universe and trusting and that that part of the experience 317 00:14:33,920 --> 00:14:35,760 Speaker 4: sounds like it was really elating for you and stuff. 318 00:14:35,800 --> 00:14:38,840 Speaker 4: And I think when we do move through the stresses 319 00:14:38,840 --> 00:14:41,720 Speaker 4: in our life and we recognize that we got over 320 00:14:41,760 --> 00:14:44,360 Speaker 4: them and develop skills from them, that builds into a 321 00:14:44,400 --> 00:14:48,000 Speaker 4: sense of resilience and heartiness. When we kind of get 322 00:14:48,040 --> 00:14:50,720 Speaker 4: caught up in the what could I have done better? 323 00:14:50,880 --> 00:14:52,520 Speaker 3: And I shouldn't have done it, and you know, the. 324 00:14:52,480 --> 00:14:56,200 Speaker 4: Mind stays in that threat focus zone, then it becomes 325 00:14:56,480 --> 00:14:58,640 Speaker 4: it can become more of a problem. But in your instance, 326 00:14:58,680 --> 00:15:00,320 Speaker 4: it sounds like, you know, your mind was like now 327 00:15:00,320 --> 00:15:03,320 Speaker 4: I'm ready for this, throwing myself into it, and then 328 00:15:03,320 --> 00:15:06,400 Speaker 4: there was this sense of achievement, and you know that's 329 00:15:06,400 --> 00:15:09,240 Speaker 4: a big part of you know, managing stress effectively is 330 00:15:09,280 --> 00:15:14,600 Speaker 4: like giving yourself little challenges, watching yourself overcome them, and 331 00:15:14,640 --> 00:15:16,720 Speaker 4: building up a sense of self efficacy. 332 00:15:17,840 --> 00:15:19,680 Speaker 3: And you know, we start small. 333 00:15:19,720 --> 00:15:21,920 Speaker 4: If someone's had a lot of trauma in their background 334 00:15:21,960 --> 00:15:24,440 Speaker 4: in their life and they've got a very heightened stress response, 335 00:15:24,480 --> 00:15:24,880 Speaker 4: it it. 336 00:15:24,880 --> 00:15:26,120 Speaker 3: Might be just little wins. 337 00:15:26,160 --> 00:15:27,920 Speaker 4: It might just be you know, if they're prone to 338 00:15:27,920 --> 00:15:29,720 Speaker 4: panic attacks, it might just be getting on a tram 339 00:15:29,760 --> 00:15:32,520 Speaker 4: for one stop to yeah, yeah totally and learning how 340 00:15:32,520 --> 00:15:34,440 Speaker 4: to kind of self soothe in the moment, and also 341 00:15:34,480 --> 00:15:39,200 Speaker 4: congratulate ourselves when we achieve something because we can default 342 00:15:39,240 --> 00:15:39,880 Speaker 4: to the inner critic. 343 00:15:40,040 --> 00:15:42,160 Speaker 1: And I think, and that's what I think about, like, 344 00:15:42,240 --> 00:15:43,640 Speaker 1: and that's why I think for some reason I was 345 00:15:43,680 --> 00:15:45,200 Speaker 1: called to tell that story that was not in my 346 00:15:45,280 --> 00:15:47,800 Speaker 1: notes to say at all. But I think as well 347 00:15:48,200 --> 00:15:50,880 Speaker 1: when you do, because you explain that stress and anxiety 348 00:15:51,920 --> 00:15:55,320 Speaker 1: almost one of the same thing, almost like in the 349 00:15:55,320 --> 00:15:59,080 Speaker 1: way in which they act in the body, it's almost 350 00:15:59,240 --> 00:16:03,720 Speaker 1: like you do get this choice mechanism where you can go, 351 00:16:03,880 --> 00:16:07,120 Speaker 1: I can this can be negative or I can somehow. 352 00:16:06,720 --> 00:16:09,680 Speaker 2: Turn this into like a wonderful. 353 00:16:09,280 --> 00:16:11,520 Speaker 3: Learning experience exactly exactly. 354 00:16:11,560 --> 00:16:14,120 Speaker 4: You can sort of recognize this is my body getting 355 00:16:14,160 --> 00:16:18,400 Speaker 4: ready for something important, as opposed to, Oh, I'm stress. Stress, 356 00:16:18,400 --> 00:16:20,240 Speaker 4: it's bad stress, it feels bad. I should make this 357 00:16:20,320 --> 00:16:22,240 Speaker 4: go away. I don't want to have a racing heart, 358 00:16:22,280 --> 00:16:24,080 Speaker 4: I don't want to have sweaty palms, I don't want 359 00:16:24,080 --> 00:16:26,160 Speaker 4: to feel tense. This is a horrible Then we straight 360 00:16:26,200 --> 00:16:28,600 Speaker 4: away we set up a fight with it. Yeah, And 361 00:16:28,640 --> 00:16:31,360 Speaker 4: if we're fighting our experience, we're activating the part of 362 00:16:31,400 --> 00:16:33,800 Speaker 4: the brain that's a stress response. So the stress response 363 00:16:33,840 --> 00:16:37,680 Speaker 4: involves we either fight a problem, flee from the problem, 364 00:16:38,080 --> 00:16:39,480 Speaker 4: or freeze in response to it. 365 00:16:40,440 --> 00:16:43,000 Speaker 3: So if we set up a struggle. 366 00:16:42,600 --> 00:16:45,000 Speaker 4: In our own mind where we're either fighting the anxiety. 367 00:16:45,040 --> 00:16:46,760 Speaker 4: I don't want this go away anxiety. I don't like 368 00:16:46,760 --> 00:16:47,400 Speaker 4: this anxiety. 369 00:16:47,560 --> 00:16:50,280 Speaker 3: We're just amplifying the stress response. Oh, I'm going to 370 00:16:50,960 --> 00:16:52,400 Speaker 3: ignore this anxiety. Anxiety. 371 00:16:52,440 --> 00:16:53,960 Speaker 4: I'm just going to like pretend it's not happening. I'm 372 00:16:53,960 --> 00:16:57,760 Speaker 4: just going to like distract myself from it. We're fleeing 373 00:16:57,760 --> 00:16:59,880 Speaker 4: from the anxiety. Anxiety is still this terrible thing that 374 00:17:00,160 --> 00:17:02,560 Speaker 4: to be escaped, or we might just completely freeze and 375 00:17:02,600 --> 00:17:05,480 Speaker 4: shut down and go into you know, like disassociate. That's 376 00:17:05,480 --> 00:17:08,680 Speaker 4: the freeze response as opposed to just being curious about 377 00:17:08,720 --> 00:17:11,840 Speaker 4: the anxiety. What's the message here? Ah, anxiety is telling 378 00:17:11,920 --> 00:17:13,760 Speaker 4: me that this is important to me. This event that 379 00:17:13,840 --> 00:17:16,120 Speaker 4: I have to turn up to is important to me. Okay, 380 00:17:16,359 --> 00:17:18,760 Speaker 4: Can I sit with that anxiety? Can I open up 381 00:17:18,800 --> 00:17:21,600 Speaker 4: to it, make room for it? Sit my anxiety down 382 00:17:21,640 --> 00:17:23,240 Speaker 4: for a cup of tea with me? As I go 383 00:17:23,320 --> 00:17:26,600 Speaker 4: into this situation, hold hands of the anxiety. Which sounds 384 00:17:26,800 --> 00:17:28,760 Speaker 4: I don't mean to sound that for that to sound 385 00:17:28,760 --> 00:17:31,240 Speaker 4: really flippant, because and someone. 386 00:17:31,000 --> 00:17:32,280 Speaker 3: Who's had an anxiety disorder. 387 00:17:32,320 --> 00:17:34,800 Speaker 4: That is not easy to do in the initial phases, 388 00:17:35,280 --> 00:17:39,080 Speaker 4: but essentially that's what it is. Anxiety will come on 389 00:17:39,160 --> 00:17:42,520 Speaker 4: board for the ride, and for some of us, unfortunately, 390 00:17:42,560 --> 00:17:45,160 Speaker 4: it's going to come on board more often. So how 391 00:17:45,200 --> 00:17:46,959 Speaker 4: do we relate to it in a different way. We 392 00:17:47,000 --> 00:17:49,960 Speaker 4: can't make it go away, it's biologically hardwired into us. 393 00:17:50,520 --> 00:17:54,240 Speaker 4: We can't make those sorts that bother us stop from appearing. 394 00:17:54,320 --> 00:17:56,760 Speaker 4: But how do we change our relationship to them so 395 00:17:56,840 --> 00:18:00,760 Speaker 4: they don't dictate how we live our lives. And that's 396 00:18:00,800 --> 00:18:03,320 Speaker 4: I think the big difference, and I guess we might 397 00:18:03,400 --> 00:18:05,880 Speaker 4: unpack a bit the difference between stress and anxiety. Anxiety 398 00:18:05,920 --> 00:18:09,359 Speaker 4: is kind of, like you said, a prolonged ongoing stress response. 399 00:18:09,800 --> 00:18:13,640 Speaker 4: It's when you know you're having persistent, worrying thoughts, obsessions, 400 00:18:15,480 --> 00:18:18,320 Speaker 4: you know, feelings of tension in the body that, despite 401 00:18:18,320 --> 00:18:21,399 Speaker 4: there being no obvious threat, that feeling doesn't go away. 402 00:18:22,040 --> 00:18:24,240 Speaker 4: And if that's been going on for long enough, you 403 00:18:24,280 --> 00:18:26,440 Speaker 4: know it's something that needs to be sort of addressed 404 00:18:26,440 --> 00:18:29,120 Speaker 4: for you to engage in and have a quality of life. 405 00:18:29,160 --> 00:18:31,800 Speaker 4: So we all experience stress, that's normal. We all experience 406 00:18:31,840 --> 00:18:35,159 Speaker 4: some anxiety that's normal. When the anxiety is hanging around 407 00:18:35,280 --> 00:18:38,280 Speaker 4: so much that it's interfering with your ability to live 408 00:18:38,320 --> 00:18:39,879 Speaker 4: a normal life, that's when you need to get some 409 00:18:39,920 --> 00:18:43,800 Speaker 4: help and you need to speak to a therapist, psychologist. 410 00:18:44,400 --> 00:18:46,040 Speaker 3: You know, some people might require medication. 411 00:18:46,400 --> 00:18:48,600 Speaker 4: There's a lot of you know, naturopathic approaches to this 412 00:18:48,640 --> 00:18:51,720 Speaker 4: as well, if that's not an option for you, And 413 00:18:51,760 --> 00:18:54,919 Speaker 4: then of course we need to work on the mind itself. 414 00:18:54,960 --> 00:18:58,000 Speaker 4: We need to understand that our mind's not our best friend. 415 00:18:58,320 --> 00:18:58,879 Speaker 3: At times. 416 00:18:58,920 --> 00:19:01,360 Speaker 4: Our mind is adapted and mind is like an old 417 00:19:01,400 --> 00:19:04,560 Speaker 4: caveman from a different time, thinks it knows what's best 418 00:19:04,600 --> 00:19:06,920 Speaker 4: for us, But in the context of our modern lives, 419 00:19:06,760 --> 00:19:09,359 Speaker 4: it doesn't always have the best strategies. Its strategy is 420 00:19:09,440 --> 00:19:11,800 Speaker 4: kind of like avoid threat as best as possible, run 421 00:19:11,840 --> 00:19:13,439 Speaker 4: away from it as best as possible, fight it at 422 00:19:13,480 --> 00:19:16,119 Speaker 4: the last minute, or freeze and freak out if you 423 00:19:16,160 --> 00:19:19,199 Speaker 4: can't do anything. Now, those three strategies were useful in 424 00:19:19,200 --> 00:19:22,080 Speaker 4: our evolutionary past, they're not so useful in our day 425 00:19:22,119 --> 00:19:22,920 Speaker 4: to day existence. 426 00:19:24,440 --> 00:19:26,159 Speaker 1: I could talk to you for ages when never going 427 00:19:26,200 --> 00:19:28,560 Speaker 1: to stick to time. If I don't wrap it this, 428 00:19:29,040 --> 00:19:32,520 Speaker 1: You're so fascinating, and I thank you so much for 429 00:19:32,520 --> 00:19:35,480 Speaker 1: sharing so much of this here, and I love that 430 00:19:35,520 --> 00:19:38,240 Speaker 1: you've tapped on with the stress and anxiety is the 431 00:19:38,440 --> 00:19:42,760 Speaker 1: physical manifestation as well, because I think for someone like 432 00:19:42,760 --> 00:19:44,879 Speaker 1: me who's quite lucky and hasn't had I've had one 433 00:19:44,920 --> 00:19:45,760 Speaker 1: patting attack in my. 434 00:19:45,720 --> 00:19:49,160 Speaker 2: Life and not excessive anxiety. 435 00:19:49,200 --> 00:19:53,080 Speaker 1: I've definitely had stress, but I it took me a 436 00:19:53,119 --> 00:19:56,800 Speaker 1: long time to get connected to my body and understand that, oh, 437 00:19:57,160 --> 00:19:59,760 Speaker 1: I do have all these signs of stress within my body. 438 00:20:00,040 --> 00:20:02,439 Speaker 1: And you know, like you mentioned with the skin, like 439 00:20:02,440 --> 00:20:06,000 Speaker 1: I'm an exma girl, you know, like, and always it 440 00:20:06,119 --> 00:20:08,159 Speaker 1: only comes up if there's a trip coming ahead of 441 00:20:08,200 --> 00:20:10,800 Speaker 1: me that I'm really scared of, or a big work 442 00:20:10,840 --> 00:20:13,240 Speaker 1: thing that's going to call upon me to really be 443 00:20:13,359 --> 00:20:15,479 Speaker 1: on my a game. And that's again my own pressure 444 00:20:15,480 --> 00:20:18,399 Speaker 1: that I'm placing on myself. But it's really nice to 445 00:20:18,760 --> 00:20:22,240 Speaker 1: marry the physical with the mind as well. 446 00:20:22,800 --> 00:20:23,320 Speaker 2: So thank you. 447 00:20:23,400 --> 00:20:25,399 Speaker 1: Is there anything else you want to touch on before 448 00:20:25,400 --> 00:20:26,600 Speaker 1: we go into the meditation. 449 00:20:28,840 --> 00:20:31,359 Speaker 4: Yeah, maybe just just quickly that because we have this 450 00:20:31,400 --> 00:20:33,680 Speaker 4: sort of sort of stress response, and there is a 451 00:20:33,760 --> 00:20:35,040 Speaker 4: natural tendency for us. 452 00:20:34,960 --> 00:20:37,600 Speaker 3: To become kind of more anxious because we're wired for survival. 453 00:20:38,040 --> 00:20:41,960 Speaker 4: It's important to then practice and savor moments when we 454 00:20:42,119 --> 00:20:46,119 Speaker 4: are relaxed, and there are techniques we can use to 455 00:20:46,160 --> 00:20:50,200 Speaker 4: slow down that excessive activation of the central nervous system. 456 00:20:50,280 --> 00:20:55,199 Speaker 4: So breathing techniques is one meditation, Yoga, all sorts of 457 00:20:55,200 --> 00:20:57,359 Speaker 4: different sort of self care strategies can be helpful. So 458 00:20:57,400 --> 00:20:59,879 Speaker 4: the next meditation will be about that will be you 459 00:21:00,040 --> 00:21:02,920 Speaker 4: utilizing the felt sensation of the breath and the body 460 00:21:03,040 --> 00:21:04,520 Speaker 4: to have a soothing. 461 00:21:04,200 --> 00:21:06,360 Speaker 3: Or calming effect on our nervous system. 462 00:21:06,160 --> 00:21:08,160 Speaker 4: Not to make the anxiety go away, but to sort 463 00:21:08,160 --> 00:21:10,320 Speaker 4: of kind of take the edge off it a bit 464 00:21:10,400 --> 00:21:11,560 Speaker 4: so we can hold. 465 00:21:11,359 --> 00:21:14,040 Speaker 3: It in our awareness more gently and like you. 466 00:21:14,040 --> 00:21:15,719 Speaker 1: Said, almost have a cup of tea with it, and 467 00:21:15,760 --> 00:21:18,720 Speaker 1: be kind of aware that it's one thing. 468 00:21:18,840 --> 00:21:20,440 Speaker 2: As an a type personality. 469 00:21:20,760 --> 00:21:24,720 Speaker 1: In hearing you say like these kind like slowing kind 470 00:21:24,760 --> 00:21:28,080 Speaker 1: of that makes me a bit oh uncomfortable because I've 471 00:21:28,119 --> 00:21:31,080 Speaker 1: always got something on the go and I think, and 472 00:21:31,119 --> 00:21:33,159 Speaker 1: I've just written here guilt, and I think, I know 473 00:21:33,200 --> 00:21:35,359 Speaker 1: we're going to probably touch on it in other areas, 474 00:21:35,359 --> 00:21:39,480 Speaker 1: but I think don't see slowing down or being mindful 475 00:21:39,760 --> 00:21:45,439 Speaker 1: or that kind of self care as something that is 476 00:21:45,480 --> 00:21:48,159 Speaker 1: something to be kind of like because I get uncomfortable 477 00:21:48,160 --> 00:21:51,919 Speaker 1: being slow and slowing down and stopping and just spending 478 00:21:51,920 --> 00:21:55,040 Speaker 1: a day in nature or just getting a massage, or 479 00:21:55,080 --> 00:21:56,480 Speaker 1: like there's a lot of like, oh that was my 480 00:21:56,520 --> 00:21:58,359 Speaker 1: self care thing for the week, tick, Like I have 481 00:21:58,480 --> 00:22:02,320 Speaker 1: to compartmentalize it in so for a type people listening 482 00:22:03,400 --> 00:22:07,280 Speaker 1: know that these methods of mindfulness and self care and 483 00:22:07,880 --> 00:22:10,640 Speaker 1: giving back to yourself are just as important as the doing. 484 00:22:10,920 --> 00:22:11,600 Speaker 3: Absolutely. 485 00:22:11,760 --> 00:22:13,879 Speaker 4: Absolutely, It's like getting angry your phone at the end 486 00:22:13,920 --> 00:22:15,080 Speaker 4: of the day that you need to put it on 487 00:22:15,119 --> 00:22:19,600 Speaker 4: the charger to recharge, like you're fighting. It's an impossible battle. 488 00:22:19,600 --> 00:22:22,840 Speaker 4: The body needs time to rest and rejuvenate and digest 489 00:22:22,960 --> 00:22:24,919 Speaker 4: and process, and that can't happen when. 490 00:22:24,800 --> 00:22:26,520 Speaker 3: We go go go, go, go, go, go, go. 491 00:22:26,320 --> 00:22:28,159 Speaker 4: Go all the time, and then the go go go 492 00:22:28,240 --> 00:22:29,080 Speaker 4: becomes ineffective. 493 00:22:29,359 --> 00:22:31,600 Speaker 1: Oh that's what I was going to say. Then by slowing down, 494 00:22:31,600 --> 00:22:33,640 Speaker 1: you're probably going to be way more on point and 495 00:22:33,680 --> 00:22:36,680 Speaker 1: way clearer and probably even a smarter go go go 496 00:22:36,800 --> 00:22:38,120 Speaker 1: person as a result. 497 00:22:37,800 --> 00:22:42,120 Speaker 2: Of slowing down. Yeah, absolutely, you're amazing. Okay, over to you. Now, 498 00:22:42,160 --> 00:22:45,600 Speaker 2: we're going to do a stress and anxiety meditation. 499 00:22:51,840 --> 00:22:56,760 Speaker 4: This meditation is called affectionate breathing, and in this meditation, 500 00:22:56,840 --> 00:22:59,679 Speaker 4: we're using the breath as a focus point for our 501 00:22:59,760 --> 00:23:03,680 Speaker 4: ten so we're training our concentration. And it also uses 502 00:23:03,720 --> 00:23:07,360 Speaker 4: the breath as a way to soothe our body by 503 00:23:07,920 --> 00:23:10,560 Speaker 4: experiencing the sensation of the breath coming in and out 504 00:23:10,560 --> 00:23:15,680 Speaker 4: of the body. So it can be quite relaxing. Starting 505 00:23:15,720 --> 00:23:18,439 Speaker 4: like with all meditation, sitting in an upright position with 506 00:23:18,520 --> 00:23:22,200 Speaker 4: a straight back, as you're breathing, rolling the shoulders back 507 00:23:22,240 --> 00:23:27,840 Speaker 4: and opening the chest, softening the belly and softening the 508 00:23:27,920 --> 00:23:36,760 Speaker 4: muscles in the face, and just breathing naturally for an hour. 509 00:23:36,880 --> 00:23:40,080 Speaker 4: You can close your eyes if you wish, or you 510 00:23:40,119 --> 00:23:42,600 Speaker 4: can keep them sort of half closed and pick a 511 00:23:42,600 --> 00:23:44,280 Speaker 4: spot on the floor just to stare out, just to 512 00:23:44,320 --> 00:23:47,919 Speaker 4: eliminate any visual distractions. But if you feel comfortable closing 513 00:23:47,920 --> 00:23:57,240 Speaker 4: your eyes, that works well too, and just drawing attention 514 00:23:57,480 --> 00:24:00,280 Speaker 4: to the fact that you're breathing, noticing wherever you you 515 00:24:00,320 --> 00:24:04,440 Speaker 4: feel the breath most in the body, so that might 516 00:24:04,480 --> 00:24:10,479 Speaker 4: be the tip of the nostrils, all the rise and 517 00:24:10,560 --> 00:24:18,159 Speaker 4: fall of the belly, all the rise and fall of 518 00:24:18,200 --> 00:24:26,960 Speaker 4: the chest. Perhaps if you have trouble feeling these internal sensations, 519 00:24:27,000 --> 00:24:29,399 Speaker 4: you might want to cast your eye down and have 520 00:24:29,440 --> 00:24:30,680 Speaker 4: a look at the rise and fall. 521 00:24:30,520 --> 00:24:31,000 Speaker 3: Of the belly. 522 00:24:31,119 --> 00:24:41,199 Speaker 4: Just notice whatever you notice, and then you're welcome to 523 00:24:41,400 --> 00:24:43,800 Speaker 4: as part of this exercise, just place your hand on 524 00:24:43,840 --> 00:24:46,439 Speaker 4: your heart for a second and just feel the warmth 525 00:24:46,480 --> 00:24:51,240 Speaker 4: of your hand on your heart and that gentle pressure 526 00:24:51,240 --> 00:24:53,679 Speaker 4: of the hand. And this is just a reminder that 527 00:24:53,680 --> 00:24:56,200 Speaker 4: we're bringing a quality of awareness to this exercise, and 528 00:24:56,280 --> 00:25:01,879 Speaker 4: affectionate awareness, a kind awareness, and that gentle pressure and 529 00:25:01,960 --> 00:25:05,520 Speaker 4: warmth activates our calming part of the nervous system, the 530 00:25:05,560 --> 00:25:09,600 Speaker 4: mammalian caregiving complex, which has a relaxing effect on the body. 531 00:25:11,040 --> 00:25:13,120 Speaker 4: And if you like, you can keep your hand there 532 00:25:13,280 --> 00:25:16,440 Speaker 4: for the exercise, or just know that you can bring 533 00:25:16,440 --> 00:25:18,119 Speaker 4: it back there at any point in time if you 534 00:25:18,160 --> 00:25:29,480 Speaker 4: feel a need for some supportive, soothing, calming touch and 535 00:25:29,720 --> 00:25:33,560 Speaker 4: just feeling into the breath in your body now tuning 536 00:25:33,600 --> 00:25:40,840 Speaker 4: in to wherever you feel the breath most, no need 537 00:25:40,920 --> 00:25:43,280 Speaker 4: to strain, just seeing if you can get a subtle 538 00:25:43,359 --> 00:25:54,720 Speaker 4: sense of the breath coming in and coming out, noticing 539 00:25:55,200 --> 00:25:58,560 Speaker 4: the breath for the full duration from the top of 540 00:25:58,600 --> 00:26:04,080 Speaker 4: the in breath and slowly as the breath comes out, 541 00:26:04,119 --> 00:26:07,440 Speaker 4: saying if you can stay with the physical sensation of breathing, 542 00:26:12,560 --> 00:26:15,480 Speaker 4: and for the duration of this meditation, seeing if you 543 00:26:15,520 --> 00:26:18,600 Speaker 4: can hold your awareness in that spot, holding it gently 544 00:26:18,800 --> 00:26:25,960 Speaker 4: but intentionally, but allowing the breath to come naturally. There's 545 00:26:26,000 --> 00:26:29,880 Speaker 4: nothing you need to do but draw your attention there. 546 00:26:31,320 --> 00:26:36,920 Speaker 4: Each breath an opportunity to replenish your attention, to return 547 00:26:36,960 --> 00:26:44,680 Speaker 4: your focus. Your body's been breathing your whole life. There's 548 00:26:44,720 --> 00:26:46,919 Speaker 4: nothing you need to do. You can just allow it 549 00:26:46,960 --> 00:26:50,159 Speaker 4: to happen naturally, no need to control it. Your body 550 00:26:50,200 --> 00:26:58,200 Speaker 4: knows just what to do. And feeling the physical sensation 551 00:26:58,280 --> 00:27:02,360 Speaker 4: of breathing, you might notice as you breathe in, your 552 00:27:02,400 --> 00:27:05,880 Speaker 4: body is kind of nourished from the oxygen you're breathing in. 553 00:27:06,240 --> 00:27:27,600 Speaker 4: It's sort of energized, maybe feeling that if you can, 554 00:27:27,720 --> 00:27:31,240 Speaker 4: and then perhaps noticing as you breathe out the body 555 00:27:31,359 --> 00:27:34,600 Speaker 4: is kind of soothed or relaxed on the outbreath. 556 00:27:35,080 --> 00:27:36,200 Speaker 3: It kind of lets. 557 00:27:35,960 --> 00:27:40,200 Speaker 4: Go a little bit with each out breath, Seeing if 558 00:27:40,240 --> 00:27:54,520 Speaker 4: you can stay with that feeling as it happens, nourished 559 00:27:54,600 --> 00:28:03,000 Speaker 4: by each in breath oxygen coming in, and soothed and 560 00:28:03,080 --> 00:28:10,800 Speaker 4: relaxed by each our breath as you let go, nourishing 561 00:28:10,880 --> 00:28:25,560 Speaker 4: breath in and relaxing breath out, Tuning in to the 562 00:28:25,640 --> 00:28:33,359 Speaker 4: natural rhythm of your breathing, feeling that rhythm that's soothing 563 00:28:33,880 --> 00:28:44,080 Speaker 4: in and out, rhythm of the breath flowing in and 564 00:28:44,160 --> 00:28:55,320 Speaker 4: the breath flowing out, perhaps even feeling the subtle ways 565 00:28:55,400 --> 00:28:59,000 Speaker 4: in which your whole body is gently rocked and moved 566 00:28:59,080 --> 00:29:07,400 Speaker 4: by your own breathing, Feeling that gentle backwards and forwards 567 00:29:07,560 --> 00:29:18,000 Speaker 4: rocking motion of the breath in your own body, Enjoying 568 00:29:18,040 --> 00:29:20,920 Speaker 4: this feeling if you can, being soothed by it, if 569 00:29:20,960 --> 00:29:24,840 Speaker 4: that feels right for you, or just noticing and being 570 00:29:24,960 --> 00:29:31,360 Speaker 4: curious about whatever sensation does arrive, arise, and staying with 571 00:29:31,400 --> 00:29:42,160 Speaker 4: that as best you can. And you may have noticed 572 00:29:43,080 --> 00:29:46,440 Speaker 4: that sometimes your mind has already wandered, perhaps many times. 573 00:29:47,760 --> 00:29:50,960 Speaker 4: That's okay, that's what the mind is designed to do. 574 00:29:53,080 --> 00:29:55,840 Speaker 4: Each time you notice that, see that as an opportunity, 575 00:29:55,920 --> 00:29:59,360 Speaker 4: an opportunity to return your focus back to the breathing. 576 00:30:01,280 --> 00:30:08,520 Speaker 4: Nothing complicated, just gently surfing the waves of the breath 577 00:30:08,640 --> 00:30:33,160 Speaker 4: with your awareness and concentration, guiding your attention back to 578 00:30:33,200 --> 00:30:38,920 Speaker 4: the breath each time you lose focus, feeling into the breath, 579 00:30:39,040 --> 00:30:42,840 Speaker 4: tuning into that soothing rhythm, that's always there with you, 580 00:30:52,120 --> 00:30:55,160 Speaker 4: letting your breath take up all of your awareness. If 581 00:30:55,200 --> 00:30:58,760 Speaker 4: you can feeling your awareness and concentration with the feeling 582 00:30:58,840 --> 00:31:03,160 Speaker 4: of the breath, the nourishment of the breath coming in 583 00:31:04,160 --> 00:31:07,360 Speaker 4: and the letting go feeling of the breath coming out, 584 00:31:11,360 --> 00:31:14,200 Speaker 4: Surfing those gentle waves of the breath in your body, 585 00:31:19,440 --> 00:31:29,600 Speaker 4: just breathing, there's nothing else you need to do, knowing 586 00:31:29,680 --> 00:31:30,480 Speaker 4: the breath is. 587 00:31:30,440 --> 00:31:32,000 Speaker 3: Always there with you. 588 00:31:31,760 --> 00:31:35,280 Speaker 4: Always an anchor for your awareness to hold on to 589 00:31:35,680 --> 00:31:37,840 Speaker 4: at any time you need it. You can tune into 590 00:31:37,880 --> 00:31:42,760 Speaker 4: this soothing breath and use it to steer your focus, 591 00:31:42,840 --> 00:31:43,400 Speaker 4: to hold. 592 00:31:43,280 --> 00:31:44,920 Speaker 3: You ground it in the present moment. 593 00:31:49,560 --> 00:31:51,680 Speaker 4: And if you feel so inclined, you might like to 594 00:31:51,720 --> 00:31:54,360 Speaker 4: place your hand over your heart again, just for a moment, 595 00:31:54,480 --> 00:32:00,400 Speaker 4: feeling the warmth and gentle pressure, and maybe it's sending 596 00:32:00,560 --> 00:32:06,920 Speaker 4: some thanks or gratitude towards your breath and towards your 597 00:32:06,960 --> 00:32:13,800 Speaker 4: body and towards yourself. For setting this time aside to meditate, 598 00:32:13,880 --> 00:32:20,640 Speaker 4: even just for a brief period of time. You may 599 00:32:20,800 --> 00:32:24,240 Speaker 4: like to press pause and continue focusing on the breath, 600 00:32:24,400 --> 00:32:29,200 Speaker 4: or perhaps you've done enough meditating today, check in with 601 00:32:29,280 --> 00:32:35,720 Speaker 4: what you need, allowing whatever feelings to be present, letting 602 00:32:35,800 --> 00:32:41,480 Speaker 4: go of the breath, and whenever you're ready, gently gently 603 00:32:41,880 --> 00:32:46,320 Speaker 4: opening your eyes and letting go of the meditation.