Speaker 1: Can I ask how I got wrote into this episode?
Speaker 2: Because Ashes on holidays, it must be nice, must be
Speaker 2: must very nice. Welcome back to two doting dads. I
Speaker 2: am Maddie Jay and I am a doting mum Laura Ben.
Speaker 2: And this is a podcast all about parenting. It is
Speaker 2: a good, it is a bad.
Speaker 1: It is the relatable is that I don't know them.
Speaker 2: Tackle that was very good. I can't remember that.
Speaker 1: I've listened to this podcast a couple of times. You
Speaker 1: guys are very good. Ash is also exceptional, So I've
Speaker 1: got big shoes to feel.
Speaker 2: Okay, that episode you listened to in the car that
Speaker 2: was on the drive down the South coast, that was
Speaker 2: probably one of our best episodes we've ever done. And
Speaker 2: I was so nervous because I was like, oh, I
Speaker 2: don't need to listen and judge me. And I was
Speaker 2: listening to it back and I was thinking, this is
Speaker 2: one of the best EPs we've ever done. Ever.
Speaker 1: To give context to that, So we were driving down
Speaker 1: to the house. I don't know if you've spoken have
Speaker 1: you spoken.
Speaker 2: About the house every week?
Speaker 1: Okay, right, Tamha must be nice. So we we were
Speaker 1: driving down to the house that we're renovating down South,
Speaker 1: and Matt was like, Okay, I need to listen to
Speaker 1: this episode just to kind of give it the one
Speaker 1: sover it's been edited. It won't take long. And I
Speaker 1: was genuinely surprised by how good it is. Not that
Speaker 1: I had any doubts me or Ash or both, just
Speaker 1: the chemistry unparalleled. Thank you anyway, thank you, thank you
Speaker 1: for having me back.
Speaker 2: Our listeners know that obviously.
Speaker 1: I also am now a listener. So and also, god.
Speaker 2: Damn it, I fucking hate that you're like like, oh
Speaker 2: my gosh, we got another million downloads, and you're like
Speaker 2: you're over there, like at a buffet table of like
Speaker 2: wings and steak and chicken and Ashna I here with.
Speaker 1: Like your fucking socks on your microphone, rolling around in
Speaker 1: cat hair.
Speaker 2: Just battling every single week, whereas you're over there.
Speaker 1: Hey, speaking of cats. I want to talk to you
Speaker 1: about Raspberry.
Speaker 2: Please tell me you're thinking about it. It averse. I don't
Speaker 2: know before before sorry, what happens normally this part Laura
Speaker 2: is Ash and I will have a beer and then
Speaker 2: we have.
Speaker 1: You know how much I love beer so well?
Speaker 2: You do like beer. You have had a stony before
Speaker 2: and you were like, oh my god, this is really delicious.
Speaker 2: And I was like, fuck yeah, my wife's one of
Speaker 2: those cool women who drink beer.
Speaker 1: You're trying to call me a pick me was I like, oh,
Speaker 1: I drink beer now, it will impress my husband.
Speaker 2: And I just saw, yeah, all you have to do
Speaker 2: is play cricket now, and fucking there we go, grow
Speaker 2: mustache and peg mey?
Speaker 1: Is this what you and Ash do when I'm not home?
Speaker 2: This is this is literally like the man of people
Speaker 2: who were like you and Ash are clearly fucking each other?
Speaker 1: Can you please change the sheets? You do record from
Speaker 1: our house?
Speaker 2: We did? We did. We're out there one undred hundred
Speaker 2: episodes and I did a little call out being like, hey, guys,
Speaker 2: what should we do to celebrate? And this one each
Speaker 2: other called David was like, cover yourself and oil and
Speaker 2: then record a podcast and then wrestle and film it.
Speaker 2: We're like, all right, David, we'll do it for the
Speaker 2: right feet.
Speaker 1: That's for the only fans channel. You can't give that
Speaker 1: content away for free. No one's forcing you.
Speaker 2: If it gets us a new listener, all.
Speaker 1: Right, look, let's do the very lucrative stone Wood sponsorship.
Speaker 2: Okay, This is oligatory craft for before you sorry, rush
Speaker 2: into that attack that beer with your fingernails. This is
Speaker 2: the Hinterland big Ale. May I just give you a
Speaker 2: little description, Laura, of the drink you're about to have.
Speaker 1: It says mandarin, citrus, peel and pine Eclipse. That sounds
Speaker 1: like a summer holiday.
Speaker 2: It's got mint in there.
Speaker 1: I hate mint.
Speaker 2: Doesn't have mintent? Oh god sake, Laura. No one is
Speaker 2: making beer, and especially a brand as good as Stone.
Speaker 2: What is making a beer with eclipse mints in it?
Speaker 2: What does it say? Clips?
Speaker 1: It says at the top it says Eclipse, mandarin, citrus,
Speaker 1: peel and pine.
Speaker 2: I don't know what the eclipse means. Let me see,
Speaker 2: just hear.
Speaker 1: It also says pineapple, pine and herbs. So it could
Speaker 1: have mint in it because mint is a herd.
Speaker 2: Okay, this is a Hinterland pale Ale full flavored. It's
Speaker 2: a limited edition, though, Laura, and it's a balanced pale
Speaker 2: ale lighting up the Southern Cross with ossy ossy clips.
Speaker 2: I don't know what that means.
Speaker 1: Let's try it well, run in because if it's limited release,
Speaker 1: it won't last long. Ah. I just squirted myself.
Speaker 2: That's what she said.
Speaker 1: That's usually ash all right, very happy. I can get
Speaker 1: around it. But you again, all right, let's go on. Raspberry.
Speaker 1: That's sorry, that's not the Raspberry is not in the can.
Speaker 1: I want us to talk about the cat.
Speaker 2: No, you wouldn't be surprised. There's a lot of like
Speaker 2: for your notes on this. Before we go on, I
Speaker 2: just have to say that if you want to get
Speaker 2: your hands on this beer the Hinterland Big pal Al,
Speaker 2: head down to Dan Murphy's a bws around the country
Speaker 2: or jump on their website Stonewood dot com dot au
Speaker 2: and get it delivered to your door. Laura Burn, I.
Speaker 1: Would like to know your honest opinions on the cat.
Speaker 2: Ah, she fucking sucks.
Speaker 1: You hate it, don't you? I see you look our
Speaker 1: cat with such distain. And to be fair, she's a
Speaker 1: real She's a real like bus shelter cat. So she
Speaker 1: for anyone who's not aware, I don't know how much
Speaker 1: the story you've told. We got her through a rescue.
Speaker 1: She came from a literal bus shelter and she has
Speaker 1: like real scrappy vibes, Like she kind of looks at
Speaker 1: us sometimes and she's like, why the fuck did you
Speaker 1: take me from my home. I liked being in the
Speaker 1: bus shelter. This place is too cushy. She tries to
Speaker 1: shred like the kids. Every time the kids walk past,
Speaker 1: she tries to scratch them.
Speaker 2: Every single time Lola walks past her. I thought it
Speaker 2: would be yeah, literally like swiping out it with her
Speaker 2: like claws hanging out.
Speaker 1: She does the same to Nana, and Nana can't run
Speaker 1: very fast.
Speaker 2: Nana fucking hates that cat.
Speaker 1: I know she does.
Speaker 2: You do too, No, no, only because Laura, we have
Speaker 2: to hang with the cat at home and not around
Speaker 2: and all the cat does is like it just fucking
Speaker 2: scratches everything, and it just like shits and pisses all day.
Speaker 2: And then if you leave any food on the kitchen bench,
Speaker 2: like doesn't matter how many times you've been like, ah,
Speaker 2: don't get up there, it will just fucking take it.
Speaker 1: It does. It does do all of those things. But
Speaker 1: she's cute too, and she does like a little head scratch.
Speaker 2: Does she though not really does she.
Speaker 1: She's very wild. I think she's quite close to being
Speaker 1: like a leopard or something.
Speaker 2: I mean, every time we go outside for any reason,
Speaker 2: she is like she is like a prisoner who's been
Speaker 2: in isolation. Its whole entire life, and it's just gagging
Speaker 2: to go outside.
Speaker 1: I think Raspberry hates living with us as well.
Speaker 2: I don't think no one's enjoying the situation at all.
Speaker 1: Oh, we give her a good home. I really try.
Speaker 1: I'm sorry.
Speaker 2: Are you happy though?
Speaker 1: I do love her?
Speaker 2: Yeah? I'm happy? Hand on hard? Do you?
Speaker 1: I wish she was nicer to me, but yes, I
Speaker 1: do like it. I just wanted to want to cuddle me,
Speaker 1: but she doesn't want to.
Speaker 2: How does she compare to your other cat? What was
Speaker 2: its name? Ninja?
Speaker 1: Ninja? Look for anyone who's who doesn't know my Instagram handle,
Speaker 1: Lady in a Cat. Go throw your follow Lady in
Speaker 1: a Cat?
Speaker 2: Well, hang on a seconds.
Speaker 1: The reason why it's Lady in a Cat is because
Speaker 1: once upon a time, when Matt and I first met,
Speaker 1: I had a cat and his name was Ninja, and
Speaker 1: I would always say that Ninja was quite like a
Speaker 1: dog like. He would do things that Buster would do
Speaker 1: because they were best friends. I'd hang out together. I'd
Speaker 1: take Buster for a walk, Ninja would come with us.
Speaker 1: We'd all go for a walk around the park together.
Speaker 1: He would sleep in my bed at night time, he
Speaker 1: was super cuddly. And every time I describe Ninja to Matt,
Speaker 1: Matt's like, well, you don't like cats, you like dogs.
Speaker 1: You just want another dog.
Speaker 2: No, I think that's why I had. I had Ninja
Speaker 2: for Muster, been like a couple of months.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you didn't like him either, though, but he was beautiful.
Speaker 2: Did I not like Ninja?
Speaker 1: I think Raspberry will improve. She's still a kitten. She
Speaker 1: needs some time. She's got that real bush shelter vibe
Speaker 1: about us. She's just got to get out of the
Speaker 1: scrappiness and in it. You know, a year's time, she's
Speaker 1: going to be living here in Bondai in a lap
Speaker 1: of luxury, like she just.
Speaker 2: Wants to be out there working the streets.
Speaker 1: She does.
Speaker 2: She does.
Speaker 1: I don't know if that's a good reference.
Speaker 2: Doesn't suit this lifestyle.
Speaker 1: Let me tell you. All my brain was doing then
Speaker 1: was figuring out whether what you were saying was going
Speaker 1: to get me canceled.
Speaker 2: I fucked the cat. It was once. I regret it.
Speaker 1: Okay, Well, look ashes away, I am filling in. It
Speaker 1: is a one show only I would like to maybe two.
Speaker 1: You haven't told me.
Speaker 2: That, maybe too. We're not sure. I forget when Ash
Speaker 2: comes back.
Speaker 1: I would like to point out that, because I, you know,
Speaker 1: podcasts for a living, I came to this prepared.
Speaker 2: I'm recording. Am I recording?
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm recording.
Speaker 2: If that if my camera angler is not good, I
Speaker 2: don't want to sound like a DV here.
Speaker 1: I mean, it's it's your face. I can't change the
Speaker 1: way you look.
Speaker 2: Okay.
Speaker 1: So I came to this recording today with several points.
Speaker 1: The camera's good, You're good.
Speaker 2: Okay.
Speaker 1: I've written down Raspberry, Matt peas in the pool period,
Speaker 1: nappy Lola falling asleep on helicopter, penis slap, crying, penis slap,
Speaker 1: bribing Lola, and I would like to point out that
Speaker 1: you have prepared nothing. How we roll, baby, Well, it's
Speaker 1: good to see someone's doing the heavy lifting here.
Speaker 2: That's how we rob because Laura, I just I wanted
Speaker 2: to give you the opportunity to show everyone on two
Speaker 2: doting dads how funny you are. This is about you,
Speaker 2: not about me.
Speaker 1: It's because you did no preparation. But it's all right.
Speaker 1: At least we've got someone here to steer the ship.
Speaker 1: As you guys know, we have just gotten back from
Speaker 1: a cruise and I've learned a valuable lesson over the
Speaker 1: last couple of days because I have been loudly and
Speaker 1: proudly telling everyone that I am now a cruiser. I
Speaker 1: am a cruiser. I love to cruise. I am a cruiser.
Speaker 2: You've been ridden by the cruise bug. Yeah.
Speaker 1: I also found out today that's saying that you like
Speaker 1: to cruise means that you like to solicit sex. You
Speaker 1: cruise for sex. It's a like a It's like a
Speaker 1: term that used to be used for people who like
Speaker 1: hide out in parks. And when I have sex with people,
Speaker 1: it's not look at us like Mitch told you that
Speaker 1: didn't know it's true. I googled it today. I said
Speaker 1: it to my boss last night, who works in radio.
Speaker 1: I was like, I am cruiser. And kiir On who
Speaker 1: runs ARN, was like, you need to stop saying that
Speaker 1: to people.
Speaker 2: Gay slang term. Yeah. In the sixties, people would cruise
Speaker 2: to arrange. Okay, I think it's fine.
Speaker 1: Okay, Well we cruis loud and proud.
Speaker 2: You're a cruiser.
Speaker 1: We are cruisers, and we were both very guilty of.
Speaker 2: Turning our noses up with people who would take cruises.
Speaker 2: I would look at those people as the type of
Speaker 2: people who would have fake plants in the house. Yeah.
Speaker 1: I honestly remember saying I would rather eat my own
Speaker 1: shit than go on a cruise. And so I said that,
Speaker 1: and that you went on the last Pano cruise, you
Speaker 1: took Nana, you took the kids, and I preference going
Speaker 1: to work overgoing on that cruise. Like I could have
Speaker 1: moved work around, but I was like, we don't want
Speaker 1: to go on the crew.
Speaker 2: You didn't want to go. I was so annoyed, and
Speaker 2: you couldn't come in that cruise.
Speaker 1: I was like, Nah, not for me. Cruising is not
Speaker 1: for me. But this time, so this trip, my mum's
Speaker 1: had a really, really tough year and she really wanted
Speaker 1: to go on this cruise as well. And so it
Speaker 1: turned into Matt organizing it. Ellie was going, my mum
Speaker 1: wanted to go. Matt invited his sister. My sister then came,
Speaker 1: My brother flew in from the United States. He came
Speaker 1: as well, and there was fifteen of us and seven
Speaker 1: of those were children.
Speaker 2: And that, to me, on paper, would be an absolute
Speaker 2: disaster for me. Anything that requires like multiple groups, I
Speaker 2: could do two groups awful, maybe three, But we had
Speaker 2: fifteen people, fifteen people in the group.
Speaker 1: I honestly thought we would be tolerating this trip. I
Speaker 1: was like, cool, we're going to go on a family cruise.
Speaker 1: It's going to be awful. We will tolerate it, and
Speaker 1: everyone's going to come home exhausted. We got there on
Speaker 1: the first day, and I want to say this, I
Speaker 1: know that you guys have been working with p and O.
Speaker 1: I personally have not been working with p ANDO. I
Speaker 1: did not care at all about the whole situation. I
Speaker 1: had so much fun on that first day. Everything was
Speaker 1: so seamless. It was so easy that I was like, oh,
Speaker 1: is this the point where I sit here and eat
Speaker 1: my own shit?
Speaker 3: Like?
Speaker 1: Do I do it at dinner time? Do I do
Speaker 1: it for disa dinner? I had so much fun, and
Speaker 1: I think it was for me. It was the lack
Speaker 1: of the logistical planning, because when you go on a
Speaker 1: big family holiday, the thing that's the most annoying thing
Speaker 1: is the fact that you have to organize the taxi
Speaker 1: to get to dinner or you guys, you all get
Speaker 1: to the beach and then it's windy and the kids
Speaker 1: are having a shit time and you got to figure
Speaker 1: out like a solution when we.
Speaker 2: Were all on the cruise. It's the transitioning as well,
Speaker 2: of like you got to get the kids ready, They've
Speaker 2: got to book the taxi, got to wait for the taxi,
Speaker 2: the taxi is late, all of a sudden, you're too
Speaker 2: close to dinner time, so you're not even at the restauran,
Speaker 2: but the kids are already hungry and they getting upset.
Speaker 1: So all of that is it's just a nightmare totally.
Speaker 1: So it's all that logistic. It's the mental admin that
Speaker 1: makes holidaying and big groups really annoying. And so going
Speaker 1: on this cruise where everything was contained, like there was
Speaker 1: this one day where the weather wasn't great and we'd
Speaker 1: plan to take the kids to the pool, and we
Speaker 1: got to the pool and everyone was cold and everyone
Speaker 1: was complaining, and we're like, oh fuck, what are we
Speaker 1: going to do now? And then we all looked at
Speaker 1: the itinery and somewhere on the boat there was karaoke,
Speaker 1: and all of a sudden, at two o'clock in the afternoon,
Speaker 1: the kids are there doing karaoke. So, yeah, I am
Speaker 1: a born again cruiser.
Speaker 2: It's fucking great.
Speaker 1: You'll find me in your gay park. I will be there.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I loved it. People have been coming up to
Speaker 2: me being like, was it actually that good? It's like
Speaker 2: a cult.
Speaker 1: It's a cult.
Speaker 2: Yeah. I'm like, I'm like, just come and try it.
Speaker 2: Just just have one day, one session, that's all you need,
Speaker 2: and then you'll be converted. It's the most fucking life
Speaker 2: changing experience other than like becoming a father I've ever experienced.
Speaker 1: Well, I know you guys talk about like parenting side
Speaker 1: of things, So I mean, this was something that happened
Speaker 1: whilst we were away, and I wanted to bring it
Speaker 1: up with you because I have realized I do something
Speaker 1: as a mum which is probably not I mean, I've
Speaker 1: fallen into the habit of doing it, but I'm not
Speaker 1: particularly proud of it. I guess I would say I've
Speaker 1: fallen into the habit of bribing our children. Okay, if
Speaker 1: I want them to do something, I'd be like, you
Speaker 1: can't have that unless you do this. We can't have
Speaker 1: that unless you finish this.
Speaker 2: But also not to attack you here, Oh god, Laura.
Speaker 2: Something else you do is you make big threats. Yeah,
Speaker 2: big threats. They always say that they ever make a
Speaker 2: threat to your children that you can't follow through on.
Speaker 1: They're not that. Give me an example, You're.
Speaker 2: Like, I will kill your father unless you finish your
Speaker 2: chicken nuggets.
Speaker 1: You can't. And I'm like, Laura, you can't say that.
Speaker 2: You make big threats. I can't think of the exact
Speaker 2: ones that you make. But you're the type of, Oh,
Speaker 2: say we're getting off the boat. We're in the middle
Speaker 2: of the ice. Yeah, We're like, we're in the Pacific
Speaker 2: right now, cannot see land. And Laura's like, we will
Speaker 2: get off the boat right now unless you come here
Speaker 2: and put your shoes on.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, I haven't quite mastered the art of like,
Speaker 1: what isn't it? What is an appropriate threat? So we
Speaker 1: were at dinner this one night and Lola wasn't eating
Speaker 1: and she was being absolute pain on the ass. Like
Speaker 1: I like Lola and I we we can vibe down.
Speaker 1: I feel like normally I can. I feel like normally
Speaker 1: I'm a pretty good communicator with Lola, and I can
Speaker 1: get her to do things that you, for example, can't
Speaker 1: do because she likes me more.
Speaker 2: Just I love how sensitively you approach that one. She
Speaker 2: fucking does not like you.
Speaker 1: Because I'm her favorite parents, she said. She even said
Speaker 1: on the cruise, Matt was like Lola doesn't like me,
Speaker 1: and she goes, Daddy, I love you, and you go, well,
Speaker 1: can I have a hugger? She goes, oh, no, she's right.
Speaker 2: Do you think okay? Do you think there's any correlation?
Speaker 2: Just really quick to throw this out and get your
Speaker 2: thoughts before you continue your story. Do you think there's
Speaker 2: any correlation in the fact that you and Lola look
Speaker 2: like each other and me and Marley look like each other,
Speaker 2: that we're kind of like because we're so similar, that's
Speaker 2: why we get along so well. Because you know, me
Speaker 2: and Marley are pretty tight, you and Lola pretty tight.
Speaker 2: Is there a connection there or is it just coincidence?
Speaker 1: Do you think it is mildly narcissistic that we named
Speaker 1: our child Marley Matti and Lola and Laura, but it's.
Speaker 2: Mattie j Marley May. Yeah, it's fucking weird. We did parents.
Speaker 1: We didn't plan it. It just happened. And then someone
Speaker 1: pointed it out when Lola was like six months and
Speaker 1: I was like, well, it's too far to go, Like,
Speaker 1: it's gone too far.
Speaker 2: What have we done? Who are we? What have we done?
Speaker 1: I's any connection there? No, I don't think that Lola
Speaker 1: likes me because she thinks I look like her. I
Speaker 1: think that's a weird No, you.
Speaker 2: Look like each other. But just because you guys are
Speaker 2: like you were just cut from the same cloth, Like
Speaker 2: you're obviously the same DNA, but you're just like you
Speaker 2: know how, you have like a bit of a weird
Speaker 2: rib cage.
Speaker 1: It's a condition we have, pectus excavatam. I think it's
Speaker 1: called you know, I once dated a guy, right so,
Speaker 1: he was a cardio thoracic surgeon, and the first time
Speaker 1: I took my shirt off, he went, you know, you
Speaker 1: can fix that. That's what he said to me.
Speaker 2: Ah, are you prick crushed? Could you fix it?
Speaker 3: Though?
Speaker 1: Yeah, you can get an operation. Let's do it for
Speaker 1: anyone who is so confused by what we're talking about.
Speaker 1: I have a hole in my chest, like my my
Speaker 1: rib cage goes right in. It makes my boobs look
Speaker 1: a lot bigger than they are. But when I'm laying down,
Speaker 1: I just kind of look a bit deformed.
Speaker 2: Lola has it a little bit as well.
Speaker 1: I don't think that that's why we connect, man.
Speaker 2: Because you guys have the same ribcage.
Speaker 1: Yeah, anyway, let's move on to the story at dinner
Speaker 1: this one night, Lola was being a little bit hard
Speaker 1: to manage, and I have been using bribery increasingly. I've noticed,
Speaker 1: like I've clocked it. Okay, I'm not proud of it. Anyway,
Speaker 1: she wouldn't eat her dinner and I said to her.
Speaker 1: I was like, Lola, you gonna eat eat your pizza,
Speaker 1: or we're going back to the room and there will
Speaker 1: be no donuts. So she this. I said, yeah, I'd
Speaker 1: said this a few times, right, So then I had
Speaker 1: to follow through because she and I know Lola, like,
Speaker 1: if she's wants something, she's stubborn as hell. But the
Speaker 1: second I pick her up and I look as though
Speaker 1: I'm going to follow through with the action, she goes, no, no, no,
Speaker 1: I'll eat it. I'll eat it. So she wouldn't eat
Speaker 1: a dinner, and I was like, that's it, Lola, no
Speaker 1: dessert for you. We're going back to our room. So
Speaker 1: I pick her up and we get to the front
Speaker 1: door and she has a full meltdown in the doorway
Speaker 1: of the restaurant, like like a puddle of humans, kicking
Speaker 1: and screaming and everything else. And then I picked her
Speaker 1: up and I was like, no, Lola, there is no
Speaker 1: dessert tonight, we're going back to the room, and she goes, okay, Mommy,
Speaker 1: I am very very, very very very tired. I am
Speaker 1: very tired. And I was like, fuck, I actually want to desert.
Speaker 1: I didn't want to go home to the room, so
Speaker 1: I was like, we're going back to the table when
Speaker 1: you're going to eat.
Speaker 2: It's so fucking annoying when the bribe doesn't work.
Speaker 1: It didn't work, and then I realized that she's clopped it.
Speaker 1: She knows I'm not going to carry through with it anymore.
Speaker 1: So the bribery no longer works.
Speaker 2: You have ruined our children.
Speaker 1: I got broken by a three year old.
Speaker 2: It was only a matter of time.
Speaker 1: It was she's genius. Though she's a smart kid.
Speaker 2: I think she was just so utterly exhausted though I
Speaker 2: don't think she knew exactly what she was doing.
Speaker 1: No shame though, I will stop bribing that.
Speaker 2: Did you give a donnuts to the end?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 1: She had a donut? I ate them too. You had
Speaker 1: a great time.
Speaker 2: I go back to your list, Laura, there was an
Speaker 2: item on there that it was a total accident, and
Speaker 2: accident not because of it happening. I knew it was happening.
Speaker 1: Spit it out.
Speaker 2: There's an accident that you found out about it. I
Speaker 2: was peeing in the pool and the okay, in my defense,
Speaker 2: in my defense, the toilets were very far away.
Speaker 4: Inconveniently far away, inconvenient right, And it was also a
Speaker 4: little bit windy as well, so I didn't want to
Speaker 4: get out of the pool dry myself off, because you
Speaker 4: can't like walk stopping wet through you know, the corridors
Speaker 4: of the ship.
Speaker 2: So I was like, I'm just going to do a
Speaker 2: quick little we wii.
Speaker 1: I think just call it a wee wee, quick little
Speaker 1: we wie. I think I just discovered a new dick
Speaker 1: and that there is nothing attractive about a thirty seven
Speaker 1: year old man describing going to the toilet as doing
Speaker 1: a we.
Speaker 2: We Well, that's unfortunate for you, wow, because fucking married
Speaker 2: to me and daddy has to we week.
Speaker 1: Daddy's got a wee wi Okay, we're all in a pool.
Speaker 1: It's a small pool. It is a pool where the
Speaker 1: kids are playing we're playing wall. It was a small
Speaker 1: It was the smallest pool on the boat.
Speaker 2: So it was like imagine, imagine it was at least
Speaker 2: fifteen meters it's a small pool twenty five meters.
Speaker 1: I swim over to Matt to give him a loving embrace,
Speaker 1: and I was like fuck.
Speaker 2: Fuck fik five frank flak fike five funk because I
Speaker 2: had just started to wee and I look over and
Speaker 2: You're like a coming for me, and you just had
Speaker 2: this look in your eye where you were like I
Speaker 2: want to cuddle. You're like you're like having a moment
Speaker 2: where you were like, this is great. I want to
Speaker 2: now embrace my husband and just have like a little
Speaker 2: beautiful moment between us.
Speaker 1: And I did embrace you, and I had pissed, like Matt.
Speaker 2: Streaming out my jab sigh. Sorry, I apologize, Are you okay?
Speaker 2: I was just like weeing profusely, so I.
Speaker 1: Wrapped my arms around that. And I also he's kind
Speaker 1: of like sitting spotting and I tried to sit in
Speaker 1: his lap, which in that moment is when I realized
Speaker 1: that I was surrounded by a warmth.
Speaker 2: Could you feel it? Yes?
Speaker 1: That was not very nice. And this is where I
Speaker 1: want to ask the question for everyone listening, is this
Speaker 1: something that we're doing as adults, like as adults, so
Speaker 1: we're still pinging in the pool and no one's talking
Speaker 1: about it.
Speaker 2: It's like you're cool of doing it. They're just not
Speaker 2: talking about it. And you can't ask the question because
Speaker 2: people will say, oh my god, I never do that.
Speaker 2: They all do it.
Speaker 1: Pull it, put it up on your two doting dad's Instagram.
Speaker 1: I want the polls. I want to know because I think,
Speaker 1: for example, I think a lot of adults pick their nose, right,
Speaker 1: they just do it when they're in the car. They
Speaker 1: do How else do you get the boogers out right?
Speaker 1: Everyone's picking their nose. No one's going to admit to it.
Speaker 1: Is it something like that? Like? Am I have I
Speaker 1: misunderstood this? Are we still peeing in the pool as adults?
Speaker 2: Did you we in the pool? No?
Speaker 1: I didn't. I was cold and then they went to
Speaker 1: the bathroom, but you beet in the pool? And I
Speaker 1: was like, I guess, are we all doing it? Just
Speaker 1: like I don't think we should endorse it. I think
Speaker 1: that the answer is surprisingly or maybe not surprising. I
Speaker 1: think the answer is going to be no. I think
Speaker 1: people are not doing this.
Speaker 2: For the record, it was one time only. I never
Speaker 2: normally do that in a pool.
Speaker 1: I doubt it. Also, it's kid pool, it's full of
Speaker 1: piss It's fine.
Speaker 2: I mean the kids. Okay, this is going to sound
Speaker 2: so bad. But Lola at the time, not many people
Speaker 2: were in the pool, and Lola was like, I need
Speaker 2: to do a wee wieze and I was just like, ah,
Speaker 2: you're good, last kid. Let it run free.
Speaker 1: And then Peano was never sponsoring you again.
Speaker 2: And then and then I think Alisha was like, Tazzy,
Speaker 2: who is Alisia your sister? Tazzy her daughter? There we
Speaker 2: go makes sense perfect. Tazzy was like, I need a
Speaker 2: wee and Alicia goes, do not do it in the pool,
Speaker 2: and Lola goes, I am, And I was like, ah,
Speaker 2: that's my kid. Our entire family is just pissing in
Speaker 2: the pool. Nana Ellie as well was just like squatting
Speaker 2: over there doing a pisso also yeah, but she got.
Speaker 1: Home, but she wears Tina pads anywhere. Well, with all
Speaker 1: of those little topics that I brought out of the way,
Speaker 1: I wasn't recording. You're kidding, Jake. Sorry, Let's get into
Speaker 1: the questions that you guys asked, because Matt you put
Speaker 1: up a question box on Instagram. You asked whatever relationship parenting,
Speaker 1: I don't know whatever questions you have for us, and
Speaker 1: we're going to do our best answer them. Question number one,
Speaker 1: this is one. Wow. All right, let's get straight to
Speaker 1: the point. How's the sex life with your mum living
Speaker 1: with you? Guys? Now, so if you are not aware,
Speaker 1: I'm sure most of you are. We live with Matt's mum.
Speaker 1: She moved in with us maybe six months ago.
Speaker 2: Now, yeah, I think I think it's I think it's improved.
Speaker 2: I reckon.
Speaker 1: Okay, why would you suggest that it's improved?
Speaker 2: Okay? As an example, Okay, we're away for four nights. Right,
Speaker 2: We're in a room where it's a sofa pull out
Speaker 2: bed and we've got that our bed, so there's no
Speaker 2: kids room.
Speaker 1: There's also no hanky pay here happening When you share
Speaker 1: a room with your children, even though they're asleep and
Speaker 1: they're in another bed and everything else, and there's a
Speaker 1: distance between you, if you can still spot them from
Speaker 1: across the room, ain't nothing happening in household.
Speaker 2: We floated with the idea of maybe like doing it
Speaker 2: in the bathroom.
Speaker 1: You floated. I said, no, it was I put it.
Speaker 2: Out to the group. You knocked it back. The reason
Speaker 2: why I think the sex life has gotten slightly better
Speaker 2: thanks to my mum. Right, hear me out is the
Speaker 2: fact that the only reason why we were able to
Speaker 2: have sex on the boat, right is because my mom
Speaker 2: took the kids.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but I mean that's she just came away on
Speaker 1: the holiday with us. Yeah, it's not like a living
Speaker 1: together situation. We don't haven't improved sex life because your
Speaker 1: mom's here. Have you do like your mama?
Speaker 2: We haven't. Don't make it sound weird like that. We
Speaker 2: should utilize her more in that there's a park down
Speaker 2: the road, Okay, we.
Speaker 1: Because she likes cruising too.
Speaker 2: Okay, so we're really layme Laura in that when we
Speaker 2: get like a little window of free time on the weekend,
Speaker 2: you and I will go to the gym.
Speaker 1: Yeah we do that?
Speaker 2: Is that lame? Is that lame?
Speaker 1: It's not lame.
Speaker 2: We just like, you know, I think other parents out
Speaker 2: there they must be like, oh no, I would do
Speaker 2: that too, like I would get some exercise. Okay, we
Speaker 2: have the option. Okay, we have the option right now
Speaker 2: when we get this little window of free time, we
Speaker 2: could have sex, but instead we opt to then get
Speaker 2: in the car, go to the gym and work out
Speaker 2: for forty five minutes.
Speaker 1: But the reason why we do that, and just to
Speaker 1: add context to it, the reason why we do that
Speaker 1: is because your mum would just be downstairs with the kids.
Speaker 1: Like it, there's nothing down the park okay, because there's
Speaker 1: nothing sexy about sneaking upstairs and going for it when
Speaker 1: you know that the children are downstairs watching Frozen and
Speaker 1: Nanea is making a bolonaise like it doesn't doesn't get
Speaker 1: me going. Surprisingly, that's fine. I would say that the
Speaker 1: things are the same. Sex life is the same. We
Speaker 1: always find our house is quite good because Ellie lives
Speaker 1: in it. She lives at the very front of the
Speaker 1: house and we're at the very back of the house,
Speaker 1: so we've got a little bit of distance between us.
Speaker 1: The only thing, and it's more criticism of you and
Speaker 1: your memory, Matt, because Matt has like sex blindness. I
Speaker 1: would call it so like we could have sex on
Speaker 1: a Friday and then have sex six days later, so
Speaker 1: like on the Thursday the following week, and Matt will
Speaker 1: be like, we've not had sex for a month, and
Speaker 1: he will say that every single time, we on average
Speaker 1: have sex every single week, and you act as though
Speaker 1: we've had sex once since twenty two.
Speaker 2: I am so guilty of that, so bad.
Speaker 1: And You're like, our relationship is so hard.
Speaker 2: I feel like I don't even know you anymore.
Speaker 1: Because it's been four days.
Speaker 2: I'm over here starving, starving for any bit of affection. Yeah,
Speaker 2: and it's actually been like twenty four hours. I also
Speaker 2: sex the day before.
Speaker 1: I know. Any time that you're like getting like a
Speaker 1: little bit frustrated by anything, I'm like, you're either hungry
Speaker 1: or you need a special cuddle. And then you're good.
Speaker 1: You're so easy, You're such an easy person to read.
Speaker 2: I then fuck me more.
Speaker 1: I don't have time, and me more. I've got to work.
Speaker 1: I've got a job. I've got multiple jobs.
Speaker 2: I know. I it's not my fault that I love
Speaker 2: you and I love being with you. Okay? Is that
Speaker 2: a crime? Does that make me a bad person?
Speaker 1: Can you blame the guy?
Speaker 2: This one is from mon Hug, Mon Hug, thank you
Speaker 2: for your question. She asks, when did you feel like
Speaker 2: you two were thriving not surviving with two kids?
Speaker 1: Oh, I'm still surviving. I'm not thriving.
Speaker 2: We have tiny pockets where we thrive.
Speaker 1: I don't feel like I've ever hit a consistent run
Speaker 1: of thriving. I think sometimes it can look like that
Speaker 1: on social media because you're only post the photos of
Speaker 1: the fun staff and the good stuff. I feel as though, yeah,
Speaker 1: exactly like you said, we have these little moments where
Speaker 1: like things kind of work really seamlessly, and then you
Speaker 1: end up in a new phase of parenting your kids,
Speaker 1: going through some regression about something, just the bribing stops working,
Speaker 1: and then all of a sudden, you don't feel like
Speaker 1: you're thriving anymore. So I don't know if I ever
Speaker 1: have felt particularly like I'm killing it as a parent.
Speaker 2: You have a tiny window where let's say the house
Speaker 2: is being cleaned. Okay, let's say it's a Sunday.
Speaker 1: Whisper it to me.
Speaker 2: We've had like a homebody Sunday where we've cleaned the kitchen,
Speaker 2: we put the washing away, you know, like we're on
Speaker 2: top of all the daily boring tasks that we have
Speaker 2: at home. I've done some gardening, the kids have been fed.
Speaker 1: When you have filled that green bin, oh stop it excited.
Speaker 1: It's like that. Sorry, I forgot to add that to
Speaker 1: the list. Feed you have sex with you feel the
Speaker 1: green bin.
Speaker 2: Oh, that's all it takes. But when you have those
Speaker 2: little pockets and you're like, I feel like I'm on
Speaker 2: top of everything. You're like, this is fucking great, and
Speaker 2: then it doesn't last for more than half an hour
Speaker 2: and the kids start drawing in the walls and start
Speaker 2: having an attack at each other, and then it all
Speaker 2: unravels pretty quickly.
Speaker 1: I do think though, having kids at are three years
Speaker 1: old and five years old. I remember when I first
Speaker 1: had Mali or I first had Lola, and I would
Speaker 1: ask people that had older kids, like, does it get
Speaker 1: any easier? And people who had older kids would always say,
Speaker 1: it doesn't get easier, it's just different, and I disagree.
Speaker 1: I actually genuinely think now that the kids are older,
Speaker 1: it is getting easier and easier. It's getting more and
Speaker 1: more manageable, and so I kind of feel like that's
Speaker 1: a real scare tactic for people who have younger kids.
Speaker 1: It's like, well, I still have it just as hard
Speaker 1: as you do. If you have little kids, you by
Speaker 1: far have it the hardest because they're so dependent on you.
Speaker 1: And now that our kids play together so well, you know,
Speaker 1: I don't want to say the independent because obviously they're not,
Speaker 1: but like I feel like we're they.
Speaker 2: Drive themselves a daycare. They're now working part time jobs.
Speaker 1: They packed their own lunchboxes. I mean, you joke, but like, yeah,
Speaker 1: the kids, the kids are great, and I feel like
Speaker 1: it's getting easier and easier and we've got the parenting
Speaker 1: thing a little bit more downpat, But I don't feel
Speaker 1: like we're thriving.
Speaker 2: And I do think as well. Daycare makes a huge difference,
Speaker 2: a huge difference. Once you can have some time away
Speaker 2: from the kids and they're both in daycare, Like, that's
Speaker 2: a total game changer. You feel like you've got yourself
Speaker 2: back again.
Speaker 1: Yeah. So, I mean it's always got.
Speaker 2: Out to the parents who don't use daycare. How the
Speaker 2: fuck do you do that?
Speaker 1: Yeah, I know you're the real saints.
Speaker 2: Well said?
Speaker 1: All right, next question having fun? Are you?
Speaker 2: This is really fun?
Speaker 1: Okay? Question number three?
Speaker 2: What is okay?
Speaker 1: What's your fight style? Scrappy? That's a scrappy fighter. Thatt
Speaker 1: is grudgy. You are a grudgy fighter.
Speaker 2: I'm what makes you say that?
Speaker 1: You take a little while to get over things, So, like,
Speaker 1: I feel like you're a bit grudgy.
Speaker 2: I think your stuf, your best defense is an offense.
Speaker 1: Don't you say this? You're the same. You're the same,
Speaker 1: You're the same.
Speaker 2: You gaslight me.
Speaker 1: The problem that we have you gaslight me. Stop using
Speaker 1: words that you don't know what I mean.
Speaker 2: You're a gas lighter. The biggest downside to being married
Speaker 2: to a woman who has a podcast all about love
Speaker 2: and relationships is that she's very difficult to argue with.
Speaker 1: I am difficult to argue with, and it's because I'm
Speaker 1: also quite stubborn. But the problem is that I think
Speaker 1: we have is that you and I have the same
Speaker 1: fight style, so we argue in the same way. Neither
Speaker 1: of us want to be in the wrong, like, neither
Speaker 1: of us want to have hurt the other person, so
Speaker 1: we kind of jumped straight to defensiveness sometimes. So if
Speaker 1: I say, hey, you did this and this hurt me,
Speaker 1: you'll be like, well, you did this and that's why
Speaker 1: I did that. And we do this and I do
Speaker 1: the same thing to you.
Speaker 2: I apologize you very hard to get an apology at
Speaker 2: Laura Burn.
Speaker 1: You apologize more, but it's because you're wrong more.
Speaker 2: Sorry.
Speaker 1: This is true, but your fart style, Matt is anytime
Speaker 1: we're having a disagreement about something and I say, hey,
Speaker 1: you did this and this upset me. You say, oh,
Speaker 1: I can never be right, and you throw your hands
Speaker 1: in the air, and then the argument can't go anywhere.
Speaker 1: You'd be like, oh, once again, Laura Burn's right, and
Speaker 1: so that's just a really it's quite belittling, but like
Speaker 1: you know, we're working through it. Therapy helps.
Speaker 2: Okay, let's move on before we had a real blown argument.
Speaker 1: We don't actually go to therapy. That was a joke.
Speaker 1: We've not You and I have never been to couples therapy.
Speaker 1: I think we do very well at communicating how we
Speaker 1: feel about stuff.
Speaker 2: So far, but we should go to a couple therapy.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you suggested it recently and I got to upset.
Speaker 2: Why did you get upset.
Speaker 1: Because you suggested it off the back? Do you want
Speaker 1: to remember why you suggested it? Because we hadn't had
Speaker 1: sex in a week. We had had sex in a week,
Speaker 1: and you said, I feel like we're not as can
Speaker 1: did and maybe we should go to therapy. Then we
Speaker 1: had sex once and you were fine. There's a common ament,
Speaker 1: a good look.
Speaker 2: I'll be honest when I said that I knew what
Speaker 2: I was doing.
Speaker 1: Did you really that's so mean? Maybe we do need
Speaker 1: therapy after all?
Speaker 2: I was like I was, like, what, I just think
Speaker 2: it's health. We should go to therapy.
Speaker 1: Yeah, what's your love language?
Speaker 2: Uh, remind me what they are again?
Speaker 1: Physical touch, words of afformation, acts of service, gifts.
Speaker 2: And quality time.
Speaker 1: I am gifts. I'm a zero like I don't need gifts.
Speaker 1: I don't care about gifts, Like gifts don't really do
Speaker 1: much for me. I am physical touch, and I am
Speaker 1: words of affirmation and also acts of service. I love
Speaker 1: it when you do shit for me and you're a
Speaker 1: real acts of service person, Like you're very very good
Speaker 1: at doing the things that make my life easier which
Speaker 1: make me feel loved, like paying my parking fines and
Speaker 1: and cleaning out my car.
Speaker 2: Does that I've paid your toll bill in the.
Speaker 3: Other d.
Speaker 1: Like that. I love it when you do those sorts
Speaker 1: of things to me that I like my life admin
Speaker 1: stuff which I'm particularly bad at it really like that
Speaker 1: makes me feel super Lodkay.
Speaker 2: What about when I sent the accountant some of the
Speaker 2: information they needed for.
Speaker 1: Tax like stop is off? That is to me, I
Speaker 1: appreciate how much of the organization that goes into our life,
Speaker 1: and that makes me feel very loved because it lightens
Speaker 1: my load massively lightens.
Speaker 2: My load too.
Speaker 1: What's yours?
Speaker 2: I think the same, the same, same. I don't know
Speaker 2: it gives?
Speaker 1: What about the wallet I brought you?
Speaker 2: Who is that?
Speaker 1: Who knows?
Speaker 2: Because you bought me a wallet? I already have a wallet.
Speaker 1: I forgot I bought you one for your last birthday.
Speaker 2: So you bought me a wallet when my current wallet's
Speaker 2: also like totally fine. So I was like, I feel bad.
Speaker 2: I feel bad using the new wallet because the like
Speaker 2: then the old wallet becomes redundant. So when the old
Speaker 2: it becomes too old to use, I'll transition to the
Speaker 2: new wallet.
Speaker 1: So what this is? How much I'm not a gifts person.
Speaker 1: I bought Matt a wallet last year and a shirt
Speaker 1: that was too small and a shirt that was too small,
Speaker 1: which I thought he would really like. And I felt
Speaker 1: so bad this year that this year I bought him
Speaker 1: a wallet because I forgot about the wallet I bought
Speaker 1: him last year. I genuinely thought you were still using
Speaker 1: the wallet your ex girlfriend gave you. That's where my
Speaker 1: brain was at.
Speaker 2: Oh, and you're like, oh, who'll see about that?
Speaker 1: I can get rid of that girl.
Speaker 2: Sorry, sorry, I apologize.
Speaker 1: Why are you apologizing?
Speaker 2: So I should use it the new wallet. Next question,
Speaker 2: what are your thoughts about divorce? Wow?
Speaker 1: Hit me, as in like do I want to do it?
Speaker 1: Or just in general not us. I'm the product of
Speaker 1: a lot of divorce, as in, like, my parents got
Speaker 1: divorced a lot.
Speaker 2: How many divorces in total?
Speaker 1: So my mum was married three times, divorced twice. My
Speaker 1: dad was married twice but then also engaged a third
Speaker 1: time and separated, so they were pretty much married, but
Speaker 1: they never actually got married. So three and two.
Speaker 2: So what's your take on divorces? Then?
Speaker 1: I used to be very skeptical, not of divorce but
Speaker 1: of marriage. So prior to meeting you, I always kind
Speaker 1: of said I didn't want to get married because I
Speaker 1: didn't think it was worth the paper that it was
Speaker 1: written on. And I always was like I was never
Speaker 1: the girl that pictured my wedding or the white dress
Speaker 1: or any of that sort of fairy tale because it
Speaker 1: kind of just felt like it didn't mean a lot,
Speaker 1: I guess, And then meeting you, I don't know. We're
Speaker 1: a very good team together, like we are, We very
Speaker 1: much support each other, We work really well together. I
Speaker 1: think we both saw marriage in a very similar way,
Speaker 1: and I felt confident when we were together that if
Speaker 1: shit got hard, you would work on it. And I think,
Speaker 1: and this is probably maybe going a bit too deep,
Speaker 1: I don't know, but in my past relationships, I think
Speaker 1: I always lived with a really big fear that they
Speaker 1: were going to just leave, like that if I wasn't
Speaker 1: pretty enough, or smart enough, or funny enough, if I
Speaker 1: wasn't like always on my best game, that if we
Speaker 1: had a fight, they would leave, you know, because anytime
Speaker 1: we did have a fight, often they would break up
Speaker 1: with me or it was like very tumultuous. Whereas like
Speaker 1: with you, especially when we got pregnant. With when I
Speaker 1: first got pregnant, your reaction to that pregnancy spoke volumes
Speaker 1: about the person that you were.
Speaker 2: How did I react? Again, I think I was just excited.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but okay, so I mean, and like I said.
Speaker 2: Maybe this is bitause it was a surprise.
Speaker 1: It was a surprise, which is like, thank God, you're excited.
Speaker 1: But so I was in a six year relationship with
Speaker 1: my ex and he basically was like, if you if
Speaker 1: you ever got pregnant and you didn't have an abortion,
Speaker 1: I'd leave you. That's what he would say. And he
Speaker 1: would say it so frequently that it was an expectation
Speaker 1: that if I chose to not have an abortion, he
Speaker 1: was not going to stick around for the relationship. And
Speaker 1: I thought that was normal, Like, of course I was
Speaker 1: hurt by it, but I was so naive to how
Speaker 1: people treated each other in relationships that I was like, oh,
Speaker 1: that's what I'm deserving of. And so when I told
Speaker 1: you that I was pregnant, I was so worried that
Speaker 1: you were going to be angry at me, that you
Speaker 1: were going to be like this is fucked, Like how
Speaker 1: we're going to fucking manage this? And you burst out
Speaker 1: laughing and you were so happy, And I was like,
Speaker 1: this guy is a fucking good egg? Is a really
Speaker 1: good egg?
Speaker 2: I was, Yeah, I was, Was that right, I'm Mariam? Yeah.
Speaker 2: I think I was similar in that I remember. It's
Speaker 2: weird how certain situations and conversations are those core memories
Speaker 2: in your mind. My mum and dad split up when
Speaker 2: I was about twelve, I think eleven or twelve, and
Speaker 2: I hated. I hated the fact that their family was
Speaker 2: being split up, even though I can look back and
Speaker 2: I know it was absolutely it had to happen, that
Speaker 2: it was so unhealthy for us all to be together
Speaker 2: under the one roof.
Speaker 1: But when you're a kid, you just you can't. You
Speaker 1: can't understand, like you know what you know right, and
Speaker 1: even if what you know is toxic, it's all the
Speaker 1: safest version because it's what you're familiar with totally.
Speaker 2: And I remember when my dad would cook the barbecue
Speaker 2: outside on the veranda. I would always just like it
Speaker 2: was like my job to get the tongs and get
Speaker 2: the plate. It was always just I would be a
Speaker 2: little helper. And I remember my dad was flipping the
Speaker 2: steaks and he looked a him and he said, Mat,
Speaker 2: if I can give you one advice in this world,
Speaker 2: it's never get married.
Speaker 1: Oh wow, thanks dad.
Speaker 2: And I remember thinking to myself, I was like, you're wrong,
Speaker 2: going to I'm going to prove you wrong. I remember
Speaker 2: like I'm so stubborn that I was like. I was like, no,
Speaker 2: I'm going to do it you and I was like,
Speaker 2: I'm going to make it work.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: I feel very similar. Like I feel like I, you know,
Speaker 1: you either repeat the things that your parents did in
Speaker 1: their relationships because that's your blue print, or you like
Speaker 1: really actively choose to be different. And I think even
Speaker 1: though we're not perfect all the time, and we have
Speaker 1: our moments where we will accuse each other of gaslighting
Speaker 1: each other. Like we are so on the same team,
Speaker 1: like we're never opposing each other. And and I have,
Speaker 1: like I have such strong faith and like reassurance and absolute,
Speaker 1: like unwavering faith that even when things get really hard,
Speaker 1: like we we're in it. We're in the ship together
Speaker 1: and we will work hard to make it better. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and that that's for me. Is like our marriage feels
Speaker 1: very different to them to what my expectation of marriage was.
Speaker 2: Just because we're so fucking stubborn.
Speaker 1: I love you.
Speaker 2: Okay, Okay, listen back to this episode ago, Oh my god,
Speaker 2: loss back on the podcast again.
Speaker 4: Okay.
Speaker 1: The next question is, Oh, this is one that's not
Speaker 1: actually about us specifically, but it's around kids at weddings.
Speaker 1: What is your opinion on having children at a wedding.
Speaker 2: I get so annoyed when people will send out an
Speaker 2: invite and say that there are no kids allowed.
Speaker 1: I feel not that annoyed. I feel differently to you.
Speaker 1: I think that there has to be a limit. I
Speaker 1: understand why people who don't have children don't understand why
Speaker 1: it's important to have kids there for people who do
Speaker 1: have children, But I think I think it's okay to
Speaker 1: not want to have small children at your wedding, Like
Speaker 1: if you give enough time for preparation of babysitters, etc.
Speaker 1: It's okay to make that, But it's not okay to
Speaker 1: expect breastfeeding mothers to not bring their babies, Like if
Speaker 1: you've got a baby that's under X amount of months,
Speaker 1: I don't know. I don't have a figure in my head,
Speaker 1: but babies absolutely are and should be there. Are just
Speaker 1: an extension of their mother. They should be welcome no
Speaker 1: matter what. But I get why some people don't want kids. However,
Speaker 1: we didn't have that rule at our wedding. We were like,
Speaker 1: bring your kids, we don't care. Obviously, our kids were
Speaker 1: a massive part of our wedding. We had the dog there,
Speaker 1: the kids were there.
Speaker 2: Especially. We know how hard it is when you're outside
Speaker 2: of a big city to a on a babysitter and
Speaker 2: then like b to then try and like you know,
Speaker 2: if you're there, if you've got kids for the ceremony,
Speaker 2: then you have to try and ditch the kids. You
Speaker 2: have to get back to your accommodation from the babysitter.
Speaker 2: Come back to the wedding. It's so hard logistically, but
Speaker 2: I don't.
Speaker 1: I think having all the kids there made our wedding better.
Speaker 1: It was so fun and silly, and I think it
Speaker 1: was amazing. I loved having them there. The only thing
Speaker 1: was is that most parents didn't want their kids there
Speaker 1: for the reception, so most parents just naturally organized babysitters
Speaker 1: for bed times, et cetera, et cetera. Look, I don't
Speaker 1: care about kids at wedding. I understand why some people
Speaker 1: are against it, but I think that often people's perception
Speaker 1: around it shift a little bit after they've had kids themselves.
Speaker 1: Not everyone, but some yeah idiots. Nah, it's not that bad.
Speaker 2: Okay, last question, Laura, that I'm going to ask you,
Speaker 2: partly because I've been asked this question a lot by
Speaker 2: many different people, both in person and online, but also
Speaker 2: because I've never really had the chance to talk to
Speaker 2: you about how you feel, oh God, honestly, about the
Speaker 2: situation we're in right now at home where my mom
Speaker 2: lives with us.
Speaker 1: How do you feel well?
Speaker 2: We also can't talk too loud. She's here, she's about
Speaker 2: twenty meters away, locked in her We did, Okay, Can
Speaker 2: I just say what can I just say?
Speaker 1: I'd say it.
Speaker 2: Her favorite quiz show is The Chase, The Chaser. The Chase.
Speaker 1: It's on right now, isn't it.
Speaker 2: And there was like five minutes left and she was
Speaker 2: about to see whether or not the contestant beat the
Speaker 2: She didn't know. She literally sits on that couch at
Speaker 2: the edge of the seat being like, oh my gosh,
Speaker 2: like bitting her nails, being like will they win? And
Speaker 2: it was a really good episode. She was like Mum
Speaker 2: was like, oh my god, this is great. I don't
Speaker 2: know what's going to happen. And then we started recordings.
Speaker 2: We had to banish her to the room to close
Speaker 2: the door and she couldn't finish watching her quiz.
Speaker 1: I didn't realize that, but I also don't I don't
Speaker 1: like podcasting with like spectators. So once we hit record,
Speaker 1: Matt was like, hey, Mum, can you turn the TV off?
Speaker 1: And can you go into your bedroom? So Paul Ellie's
Speaker 1: just sitting in her bedroom right now whilst we record this.
Speaker 2: Sorry about that.
Speaker 1: I would love to know your opinion. You go first.
Speaker 2: I think overall, especially the last two days, Mum has
Speaker 2: been absolutely.
Speaker 1: Mom's been here for six months and you're like, the
Speaker 1: last two days have been good.
Speaker 2: We've got a good run last two days in particular,
Speaker 2: just because it's been like really really heg dick. You know,
Speaker 2: we were out last night. You know, Mom did the kids.
Speaker 2: She like, you know, as I was like racing out
Speaker 2: the door, she made me a little meal. She was
Speaker 2: just she was doing so much to make my life easier,
Speaker 2: our lives easier.
Speaker 1: I love it, Like, and people ask me this question
Speaker 1: all the time, like living with your mother in law,
Speaker 1: that must be interesting, And it definitely had a moment
Speaker 1: of adjustment, like, you know, it's just having another whole
Speaker 1: body in the house. But I get along with your
Speaker 1: mom famously, Like we get along so well. I think
Speaker 1: sometimes it's hard for her because we often work in
Speaker 1: the nighttime and she wants to have a chat and
Speaker 1: so like, you know, that's probably the only time when
Speaker 1: I feel guilty because I want to talk to her,
Speaker 1: but I have to get work done, et cetera. But
Speaker 1: I think it's I think it's great. Also, you need
Speaker 1: to be nicer to your mom. You're so mean to
Speaker 1: your mom about her cooking, and she's she does so
Speaker 1: much and you were like the cook the way I
Speaker 1: went the cares and be cooked. I'm like, Matt, just
Speaker 1: be happy that she got the carrots.
Speaker 2: I do you, child, I do need to be nicer
Speaker 2: to her. She's just so easy to wind up. I
Speaker 2: was like, I think those character are overcooked. She was like,
Speaker 2: they just they'd just been put on, and she was like,
Speaker 2: howdare you? And I'm like, Mom, I'm joking.
Speaker 1: I no, we love it. But also for me, I
Speaker 1: think maybe I have a bit of a different upbringing.
Speaker 1: Like I grew up living with my grandparents, and I
Speaker 1: spent so much time with my grandparents as a kid.
Speaker 1: So even when we moved out from living with myn
Speaker 1: nan and papa, they just moved up the road and
Speaker 1: my nan and my papa were like real parental figures
Speaker 1: for me because my mum was a single one with
Speaker 1: three kids, Like it was you know, it wasn't the
Speaker 1: easiest upbringing, and I got to have that with my grandparents,
Speaker 1: and my relationship with them was incredibly special, and I
Speaker 1: want that same thing for our kids, and so like
Speaker 1: it makes me really really happy that they get to
Speaker 1: have that relationship with their nana and they're building that
Speaker 1: sense of like really connected family. So even like the
Speaker 1: small inconveniences sometimes of having like an extra person in
Speaker 1: the house, which is not an inconvenience, but you know
Speaker 1: what I mean, it's that's like it doesn't matter. It
Speaker 1: doesn't matter. And I also think like if you swim
Speaker 1: with the current on stuff, like if you want things
Speaker 1: to be done in a particular way, like your way,
Speaker 1: then that's when you would get frustrated by things. But
Speaker 1: I'm just happy that things get done, so I don't care,
Speaker 1: like it really does it her.
Speaker 2: Way because you don't do anything.
Speaker 1: I don't do anything in his house. I just walk
Speaker 1: in and I'm like, dinner's there, Washing's been done. It's
Speaker 1: so nice. I'm like a passenger in my own home.
Speaker 2: It must be nice.
Speaker 1: It must be nice, Laura.
Speaker 2: Before we go, we do have a message from the
Speaker 2: one and only Ashton Wicks. He's having a delicious holiday
Speaker 2: over in Bali and he wanted to send us this.
Speaker 3: I hope you're enjoying your time together on this record,
Speaker 3: and Laura, I appreciate you stepping in. It's tough out
Speaker 3: here on the island hot and yes, it must be nice.
Speaker 3: Now I have a hackle fuck that that happens to
Speaker 3: come from my diligent and well organized wife. I'm sure
Speaker 3: that Jess, our producer, has shared a photo with you
Speaker 3: which is a tackle box full of snacks now. April
Speaker 3: found this on TikTok. She loves to find little things
Speaker 3: to make things easier.
Speaker 1: Now, this tackle.
Speaker 3: Box is loaded up with all sorts of things. We've
Speaker 3: got oreos, fruits, crackers, anything like that. What she does
Speaker 3: is she does that the night before we get on
Speaker 3: a long flight for the kids. The problem with that
Speaker 3: is it can cause a bit of a mess. And
Speaker 3: usually when kids also see the healthy options and the
Speaker 3: unhealthy options together, you can imagine what they would prefer.
Speaker 3: So I just want to know what you guys think.
Speaker 3: It seemed to work except for when they saw the
Speaker 3: aureo section and we're quite famished for an oreo. When
Speaker 3: one would say, and I've gone to the bathroom and
Speaker 3: come back and all the areos are gone, but the
Speaker 3: fruit still intact.
Speaker 1: Let me know what you think.
Speaker 3: I miss you guys very much so, and I mean
Speaker 3: i'll see it.
Speaker 2: I'll see you.
Speaker 3: Soon, I guess caybye.
Speaker 1: That was a really long message. Doing his own podcast
Speaker 1: was get to the point. I do know this because
Speaker 1: I've witnessed it firsthand. April is very organized, yes, and
Speaker 1: it makes me feel like a very unorganized parent. She's
Speaker 1: the snack parent. She's got things bought and prepped and whatnot.
Speaker 1: And where the parents that are like, Oh, our kids
Speaker 1: are hungry, what are we going to feed?
Speaker 2: I've got a bag of twisties and apple and some lint.
Speaker 1: Take your pick, and I don't mean a lint ball.
Speaker 1: I just mean a piece of dust. That's all you got,
Speaker 1: some dried skin, pick your nose. We are not that
Speaker 1: organized as parents, even when we've been on this cruise.
Speaker 1: So we went on this crew went on a cruise.
Speaker 1: I went on a cruise when we were cruisers. I
Speaker 1: went to the shops and I bought all these snacks
Speaker 1: with the kids and I put them into a carry
Speaker 1: on bag. And then we got on the cruise and
Speaker 1: my sister was like, I don't understand why you didn't
Speaker 1: take the snacks out of the boxes to save yourself room.
Speaker 1: I just packed full boxes of like a total box
Speaker 1: of music bars, a total box of tiny taties, like
Speaker 1: everything just got loaded in. Because I'm not an admin person, as.
Speaker 2: We have discovered, I thought I thought it was great
Speaker 2: you're snack packing. By the way, I thought it was
Speaker 2: really well done. If you have time, bloody great. If not,
Speaker 2: just buy the kids a pack of chippies on the
Speaker 2: plane and that'll sort them out.
Speaker 1: No, I don't think you need to buy them chippies
Speaker 1: on the plane. I just think that.
Speaker 2: Don't pretend like you do not buy the kids' chips
Speaker 2: on every single flight that we have ever been.
Speaker 1: On, Prinkles. I don't want people just think you bout
Speaker 1: them chips. I don't want people to leave this podcast
Speaker 1: thinking we only feed our kids smack on planes. We do, yeah,
Speaker 1: and Nana does a really good job of feeding them
Speaker 1: healthy stuff at the other times of the day.
Speaker 4: No.
Speaker 1: I guess my thing is is that there are some
Speaker 1: mums who are super organized and it helps them feel
Speaker 1: as though they've got, you know, control over the situation
Speaker 1: and they've got everything sorted for their kids. We are
Speaker 1: probably not as organized as parents. However, we are very
Speaker 1: adaptable and agile, and our kids eat lots of things,
Speaker 1: so like we can go to a cafe and get
Speaker 1: a sandwich or get a wrap or whatever, and our
Speaker 1: kids are happy to eat that stuff, you know.
Speaker 2: So if you see us on a plane. Please feel
Speaker 2: free to donate any snacks leftovers that you may have
Speaker 2: to feed our malnurished children.
Speaker 1: No, we sound like terrible parents.
Speaker 2: Shout out to April. It is a great idea.
Speaker 1: Yes, I think it's a good idea. Would we do it?
Speaker 1: Probably not? And I also think it's okay. It's okay
Speaker 1: if you're a parent, you're not that organized. As long
Speaker 1: as you've got a couple snacks in the bags and water,
Speaker 1: you're all right. It's a fed.
Speaker 2: Very often we do not have water as well.
Speaker 1: For that kids, stop it. Why are you trying to
Speaker 1: make out that way? Someone's got to call docs.
Speaker 2: That's all we have time for. If you've enjoyed this episode, and.
Speaker 1: If you even this episode, go on and have listen
Speaker 1: to laugh on Cart's great podcast.
Speaker 2: You don't need more listeners. You're like one of the
Speaker 2: times and.
Speaker 1: You know the drill. Tell you mum, tell your dad
Speaker 1: to tell your dot two friends and share the love
Speaker 1: because you love.
Speaker 2: But please give us a review, subscribe, give us a
Speaker 2: few comments, absolutely anything you can give away, like think
Speaker 2: of the comments as like snacks with me and ash
Speaker 2: we're starving.
Speaker 1: Throw the dog a bone. But also do please go
Speaker 1: and subscribe. You don't have to pay for it, just
Speaker 1: hit that little plus button and it means anytime that
Speaker 1: there is a new two Doting Dads episode, it'll fall
Speaker 1: straight into your libraries. And it's also the best way
Speaker 1: to help the podcast grow. Share it with a friend.
Speaker 2: You can also reach out at two Doting Dads on
Speaker 2: Instagram or TikTok. A email is hello at two Doting
Speaker 2: Dads dot com. Any questions and he guess you want
Speaker 2: us to have or any feedback at.
Speaker 1: All, And if you didn't like me being on this episode,
Speaker 1: please don't tell us. We don't want that feedback. It's
Speaker 1: not necessary because I come very rarely, so you can
Speaker 1: just skip it.
Speaker 2: We don't need that negativity in our lives right now, Laura,
Speaker 2: I will just say one mo thing. I think this
Speaker 2: episode is episode one hundred. I don't know if it is.
Speaker 2: It's not, maybe it's not, maybe it's one hundred and one. Anyway,
Speaker 2: we are doing something special. We're currently working on it.
Speaker 2: It will be some type of prize. There will be
Speaker 2: some kind of giveaway mechanic. We don't know what it
Speaker 2: is just yet.
Speaker 1: Wow what I hook?
Speaker 2: I know stay tuned or will be revealed very shortly
Speaker 2: and until then, we'll see you later. Thank you and goodbye.
Speaker 1: Thanks for having me. Guys, were done, Okay, bye bye.
Speaker 1: You're gonna cry in oh oh?
Speaker 2: Was that necessary? Was that necessary?
Speaker 1: I love it's hot men who cry hot. No it's not,
Speaker 1: Yeah it is. Then fuck me, let's go Bye.
Speaker 2: To Doting Dad's podcast acknowledges the traditional custodians of country
Speaker 2: throughout Australia and the connections to land, see and community.
Speaker 3: We pay our respects to their elders past and present
Speaker 3: and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torrestrate Islander
Speaker 3: peoples to day. This episode was recorded on Gadagal Land