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Speaker 1: And we continue to talk about weddings.

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Speaker 2: Yes, go into the chapel and we're going to get married. Well,

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Speaker 2: Madison is father of the bride, and you're feeling it.

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Speaker 2: You're nervous and Madison.

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Speaker 3: It was only when that woman we spoke to said

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Speaker 3: that some people are paying one hundred grand for their

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Speaker 3: for their weddings.

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Speaker 1: That's when I fell off the chair.

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Speaker 2: Well, today we've got a very good friend of ours, actually,

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Speaker 2: Steve Mummery, who, as well as many other skills, is

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Speaker 2: a wedding celebrant.

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Speaker 4: I am, and.

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Speaker 2: You've married quite great. There is quite the waiting list

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Speaker 2: for your skills.

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Speaker 4: Seven one hundred and sixty.

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Speaker 5: Wow, weddings, I think last count that's amazing.

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Speaker 1: How many years is that still?

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Speaker 4: Since twenty seven days?

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Speaker 1: That's incredible.

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Speaker 2: Don't count the years, that's a lot, No, No, just

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Speaker 2: count the weddings. So what made you think I want

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Speaker 2: to do that? Look, because it's not like you didn't

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Speaker 2: have a job at the time. You were very busy.

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Speaker 2: You're running telethon.

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Speaker 4: Okay, so I'd thought for.

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Speaker 5: A few years I going to do when I retire,

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Speaker 5: And and I'm not a golfer. I'm not that guy

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Speaker 5: that will will do all that. And I'd been to

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Speaker 5: so many weddings over the years where I'd walk away

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Speaker 5: afterwards going that was a bit that celberance not that great,

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Speaker 5: and a whole bunch where they were great, and I thought, yeah,

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Speaker 5: that was that was invigorating and all that, and yeah,

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Speaker 5: after seeing a few that were a bit of I thought,

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Speaker 5: you know what, I could do that when I retire anyway,

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Speaker 5: So that was a long way in the in the future.

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Speaker 5: And my nephew in the end asked me whether I

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Speaker 5: would marry him and his wife, and I wasn't a celebrant,

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Speaker 5: and I had been going through my head and I thought, oh,

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Speaker 5: damn it, I'll do the certificate full of course and

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Speaker 5: become a celebrant so that I can marry them. And

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Speaker 5: so that's how it started.

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Speaker 3: Yeah really, yeah, I mean, you've done radio, so you

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Speaker 3: have the gift of the gab, But what are the

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Speaker 3: other skills that go on top of that?

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Speaker 1: What do you mean?

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Speaker 5: Look, I guess diplomacy I wasn't known for in radio

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Speaker 5: patience patients, which I also wasn't but I've learned these

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Speaker 5: skills since becoming a celebrant.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 5: Look, it basically basically comes down to being able to

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Speaker 5: write a decent ceremony. My preference is to do nice,

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Speaker 5: lighthearted ceremonies. It's serious when it gets to the serious

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Speaker 5: bit of but the whole thing doesn't have to be

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Speaker 5: like that. It should basically it should reflect the personalities

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Speaker 5: of the two people you're marrying. Yeah. My favorite thing

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Speaker 5: is when the couple after the ceremony have everybody coming

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Speaker 5: up to congratulate them and they say, that's the best

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Speaker 5: ceremony I've ever been to, or how long have you

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Speaker 5: known Steve, yes, And they're the two best compliments that

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Speaker 5: I can get. Afterwards having them come back to me

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Speaker 5: and saying, oh, yeah, people said this, So yeah, that's

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Speaker 5: that's what I am for, to make it reflect their

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Speaker 5: personalities and and and feel inclusive of all the people

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Speaker 5: that are there.

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Speaker 2: And people do get swept up in a wave of

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Speaker 2: something when they're getting married, and they do need someone

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Speaker 2: to take you know, Jesus take the wheel.

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Speaker 4: It's Steve take the wheel.

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Speaker 5: Well, and that's basically what it is. You're in control

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Speaker 5: of the ceremony part of the day. You're the choreographer,

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Speaker 5: I guess, and and you know, after doing so many

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Speaker 5: you get to know what works and what doesn't work.

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Speaker 2: And you're also making sure things are done legally and

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Speaker 2: people are actually married.

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Speaker 5: That is the main part of the job. To make

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Speaker 5: sure it's a legal wedding. You've got to make sure

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Speaker 5: that they're not married to anybody. You've got to make

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Speaker 5: sure that if they were married to somebody else, that

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Speaker 5: you've cite their divorce papers.

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Speaker 4: That happened.

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Speaker 2: You had to say, guys, properly, I don't do.

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Speaker 4: That on the day.

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Speaker 2: To do that before, have you had to say.

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Speaker 1: Hang on, this isn't your other.

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Speaker 2: Your last one has not been fully dissolved.

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Speaker 5: Well, I don't go ahead until I see them, until

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Speaker 5: I cite the divorce. A lot of people go, oh,

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Speaker 5: I have no idea where they are. They just don't

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Speaker 5: peep in. And I say, well, you're going to have

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Speaker 5: to find it because I'm not marrying you until I

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Speaker 5: signed that person.

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Speaker 3: On election day? Who remember checking off the roll? Have

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Speaker 3: you voted somewhere else? Have you been married elsewhere?

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Speaker 5: How ridiculous is that it's twenty twenty five and they're

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Speaker 5: still crossing names.

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Speaker 1: Out of a book. So bad, so bizarre.

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Speaker 3: Look, things must go wrong and this is nothing to

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Speaker 3: do with your your professionalism stave. But things must go wrong.

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Speaker 3: Is sometimes just tiny things because people are nervous.

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Speaker 4: Yeah.

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Speaker 5: Look, And I explained to the bride particularly beforehand, because

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Speaker 5: if she's going to do that walk down the aisle,

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Speaker 5: I tell her, when you at the top of the aisle,

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Speaker 5: as soon as you get there, that's going to be

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Speaker 5: when you're peaking the most, right And I always say

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Speaker 5: to it, but that's nothing until you get down the

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Speaker 5: end of the aisle and then turn around and see

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Speaker 5: all of your favorite people standing or sitting there in

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Speaker 5: front of you. I said, that's when you're going to

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Speaker 5: really be peeking. And so I always tell them once

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Speaker 5: you get down there, I'll face you. You'll be facing

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Speaker 5: the crowd, and we're just going to chat for a

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Speaker 5: minute or so, just so that your heartbeat lowers, yeah,

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Speaker 5: and that you're.

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Speaker 1: In the moment.

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Speaker 5: Because I don't want them to be peaking so much

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Speaker 5: that they missed the ceremony, Like that's my bit.

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Speaker 4: I want them to pay attention.

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Speaker 5: So I.

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Speaker 4: Like them to calm down and just be in the moment.

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Speaker 5: And I literally tell them to just breathe now out,

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Speaker 5: now back because they're literally almost frozen sometimes and there's

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Speaker 5: other couples that they just breeze.

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Speaker 4: Through it and they're fine and all that.

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Speaker 5: There was that guy that the groom at Burrswood Shell

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Speaker 5: that I'm married once, who I'm pretty sure almost didn't

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Speaker 5: know what was going on on the day. He could

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Speaker 5: understand English. I have to make sure they can understand

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Speaker 5: what is going on the day. But he was just

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Speaker 5: walking around aimlessly. And it is part of my responsibility

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Speaker 5: to make sure they know what they are doing and

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Speaker 5: all that. And he did know what he was doing,

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Speaker 5: but there was nobody from his family or friends there.

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Speaker 5: It was just the bride's friends most of them. And

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Speaker 5: there was like about fifteen people there. Most of them

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Speaker 5: were bridesmaids, so it was one of those with everybody's

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Speaker 5: a bridesmaids. They all had the same dresses. On goodness gracious.

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Speaker 2: A bit in the ceremony where words along the lines

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Speaker 2: of if anyone here today any reason why these two

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Speaker 2: should not be married, has anyone ever indeed objected?

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Speaker 4: That's not a legal requirement. I've never done it, never

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Speaker 4: said the words.

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Speaker 1: I never never, and it never will.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, because you would think that child, it's everyone's on

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Speaker 2: board by this stage wouldn't you.

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Speaker 4: Well, yeah, and it's got nothing to do with anyone. Yeah.

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Speaker 5: Basically, CLI know the days of the father handing over

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Speaker 5: his daughter as goods and chattel well gone. Yeah, so yeah, No,

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Speaker 5: I don't think any celebrant must solictening for trouble. And

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Speaker 5: it is in the crowd.

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Speaker 4: I might as well stand there and say, okay, who

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Speaker 4: wants some biffo? Does that happen? Keep things quite calm.

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Speaker 3: I still want to talk about criers because when I'm

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Speaker 3: married Laurie in twenty twelve, I cried like a baby.

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Speaker 1: Yeah. I just couldn't continue.

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Speaker 4: It couldn't.

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Speaker 3: Oh, absolutely, I went on, this is what it's meant

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Speaker 3: to feel like. But then the waterworks came and my

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Speaker 3: sister law said, I was waiting for the big radio

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Speaker 3: voice and I didn't get it. Disappointed, But do you

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Speaker 3: get to have a squeaky well a little bit emotional,

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Speaker 3: But do you get many cries who cry all the

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Speaker 3: way through?

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Speaker 5: Yeah? Look, And it surprises me a bit because sometimes

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Speaker 5: it's like the roughest the butcher's guys actually that, and

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Speaker 5: you talk to them beforehand, because I you know, talk

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Speaker 5: to the groom before the bride's there. And make sure

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Speaker 5: he's right and drinks water and all that sort of thing,

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Speaker 5: and they're all fine, and then that moment of truth happens.

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Speaker 5: And quite often it's when the bride walks down the

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Speaker 5: aisle and it just well, it either hits them as in,

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Speaker 5: oh my god, what have I done.

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Speaker 4: I like to think, as in.

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Speaker 5: Oh my god, look at this gorgeous person under that

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Speaker 5: to marry Yeah, and so some of the guys start

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Speaker 5: to get a bit teary. Then I always have a

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Speaker 5: handkerchief ready to go nice for the bride or the groom,

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Speaker 5: and it's a bit more embarrassing when I have to

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Speaker 5: give it to the groom first, and then when they're

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Speaker 5: doing their vows sometimes they just get a little bit

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Speaker 5: emotional shoky at that point.

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Speaker 2: Do most people write their own vowels?

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Speaker 4: Yes, yeah.

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Speaker 5: I give them lots of material to help them do it,

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Speaker 5: because it is one of the things they get nervous

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Speaker 5: about because it's something they've never done. Most people, well

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Speaker 5: half of them, have never done before. And so I

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Speaker 5: give them a bunch of about ten real sets of

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Speaker 5: vows that couples I've married have done, which I've thought

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Speaker 5: after his oh gee, they're really nice, So take out

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Speaker 5: the names and just give them those and that's mainly

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Speaker 5: to show them the different styles and lengths. Like some people,

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Speaker 5: you can do personal vowels that just are three sentences.

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Speaker 5: You can do personal vows that go on for three minutes.

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Speaker 5: There's no rules, you can do whatever.

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Speaker 1: You probably three.

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Speaker 5: I just make sure they send them to me beforehand,

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Speaker 5: and they're roughly the same sentiment and length because you

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Speaker 5: don't want the guys saying or hi, honey, I love you,

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Speaker 5: look forward to spending the rest of my life with you,

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Speaker 5: and then the bride doing three majors.

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Speaker 3: So you talked about seeing other celebrants in action before

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Speaker 3: you started the gig. But now do you go to

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Speaker 3: weddings and judge? Have you been many weddings in life?

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Speaker 4: Do you think eight years? What sort of question is?

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Speaker 5: Of course I'm to ask. My nickname is mister Judging.

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Speaker 5: I'm the judge. Yeah, but look at my at the

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Speaker 5: point of my life, I'm not going to that many weddings.

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Speaker 5: I guess small funerals, yeah I do. But and once

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Speaker 5: again like just talking about funerals, Yeah, the fact that

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Speaker 5: somebody has died is sad enough as it is. Yeah,

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Speaker 5: my aim isn't to make it worse on the day

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Speaker 5: I'm sadder and all that. I quite like doing uplifting

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Speaker 5: funerals and you know it's it's bloody sad that they're

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Speaker 5: all there in the first place. So you know, I

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Speaker 5: encourage people to laugh and the tribute, isn't it And

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Speaker 5: it just really enjoy the fact that they were able

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Speaker 5: to know that person off the track.

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Speaker 1: They were good.

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Speaker 2: It's oh yeah. Lots of people like to involve their

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Speaker 2: dog now in ceremonies, have the ring and that sort

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Speaker 2: of thing.

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Speaker 4: Has that ever gone awry? No, But I love it.

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Speaker 4: It's like kids, kids and dogs.

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Speaker 1: You just roll with it.

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Speaker 4: You just learn to roll with it.

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Speaker 5: And I guess through my experience before in media, I'm

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Speaker 5: used to being able to add live when I can

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Speaker 5: work around any situation and it makes the moment. It's

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Speaker 5: that's the thing that people will talk about after when

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Speaker 5: the dog ran around and greeted everybody. This dog here

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Speaker 5: behind me that I've brought in. It was a ring

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Speaker 5: bearer at a wedding on.

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Speaker 4: Scarboroughbeks Bright Beautiful, just a couple of weeks ago.

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Speaker 5: Because the groom, who I've met just at the local

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Speaker 5: cafe over the last few years has is from the

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Speaker 5: UK Morning Felix. He his dog is a Labordoodle, but

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Speaker 5: it's back in the UK. Daphanie's fourteen years old and

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Speaker 5: Rough is an actor and so he's always been attracted

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Speaker 5: to Roof and he he asked if a Roof could

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Speaker 5: be the ring Well, actually, when he asked me to

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Speaker 5: marry them, I said, okay, so long as Roof can

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Speaker 5: be the ring bearer, all right, and.

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Speaker 4: He said, yeah, of course, of course.

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Speaker 5: So he did an excellent job of that, walked down

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Speaker 5: the aisle and then walked back and greeted everybody for

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Speaker 5: a pat and then came back up with the rings

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Speaker 5: around his neck. But yeah, I love doing stuff like that,

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Speaker 5: and love involving kids in the wedding as well.

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Speaker 1: It just makes it special.

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Speaker 2: We have I think we've got to wrap it up.

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Speaker 2: Look at the time you should have wrapped up.

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Speaker 1: Sorry, yeah, yeah, but it was with a chat and catching.

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Speaker 5: Up and you've missed traffic were Yeah, you know, I

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Speaker 5: have no idea what the times.

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Speaker 4: Thanks for coming here, Rof.

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Speaker 2: I'm sorry I've been mispronouncing your name all this time,

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Speaker 2: calling you Rough, impulveing animals