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Speaker 1: Welcome to your Diary episode. Here's the thing. I'm a

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Speaker 1: bit of a nomad, so these episodes come to from

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Speaker 1: wherever I'm living or traveling to at the time, so

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Speaker 1: I'll share with you what's going on in my world,

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Speaker 1: from book tours, animal encounters, delish meals, nature adventures, health

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Speaker 1: discoveries to swimming in Hidden Byron Bay beaches. Come with

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Speaker 1: me as I share my adventures with you. Hello, Gangles,

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Speaker 1: Welcome to your La Diary Pod. It's going to have

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Speaker 1: a little facelift the diary Pod in that I want

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Speaker 1: to make it very honest and real talk, which I'm

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Speaker 1: always very honest, but I also am a glass half

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Speaker 1: full kind of gal. But I also want to be

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Speaker 1: really real because obviously I'm in La chasing this extremely

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Speaker 1: unattainable dream, and I just want to be real about

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Speaker 1: it with you. In regards to the challenges, because it's

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Speaker 1: been a couple of weeks of like I would call them,

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Speaker 1: like not even career hits, but just not wins when

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Speaker 1: I thought there might be wins, if that makes sense.

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Speaker 1: And I know that's totally my own fault for placing

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Speaker 1: expectation on things, but I'm just going to share really

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Speaker 1: honestly with you, because I know a lot of creatives

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Speaker 1: listen to this and actors as well.

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Speaker 2: And one thing that.

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Speaker 1: Is really hard about LA for people that have a

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Speaker 1: dream and come over is the financial side of stuff.

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Speaker 1: And I remember after I saw Top Gun a couple

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Speaker 1: of years ago, Top Gun Maverick, and I listened to

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Speaker 1: a podcast that Glenn Powell was on who plays Hangman,

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Speaker 1: and he kind of blew up, really blew up after

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Speaker 1: Top Gun Maverick. But before that he'd done his you know,

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Speaker 1: ncis Miami, Laura and Order. He had like a line

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Speaker 1: on American Psycho and he said, ALA is designed to

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Speaker 1: kick you out, like it is designed for you not

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Speaker 1: to succeed. And I remember thinking, wow, that is gnally,

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Speaker 1: but it is so true. And so I just want

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Speaker 1: to be really honest with you about the journey here

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Speaker 1: and like what we've had to do to survive here

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Speaker 1: as well. And I want to be very real and

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Speaker 1: honest with you about the hits, because some days you

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Speaker 1: think you're getting a win, or you're moving in the

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Speaker 1: right direction or all this like time is paying off,

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Speaker 1: and it kind of just falls through your fingers even

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Speaker 1: though you're doing everything in your power to be ready

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Speaker 1: for it, and I do think I am doing everything

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Speaker 1: in my power to stay ready. But and I love

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Speaker 1: I think if I'm being really honestly, I think one

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Speaker 1: of my strongest characteristics is I'm resilient. So for me

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Speaker 1: to feel like, oh, this is really hard and the

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Speaker 1: chips are really against me right now makes me think shivers.

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Speaker 1: This is like I'm lucky to even be here right now,

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Speaker 1: Like it's a win that I'm even able to live

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Speaker 1: in America right now.

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Speaker 2: Which is totally true.

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Speaker 1: So last week I had a sixty hour week in

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Speaker 1: the end because on my day off, I shot a

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Speaker 1: campaign and it was amazing.

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Speaker 2: The shoot was unreal.

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Speaker 1: It was like, I think it was like a ten

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Speaker 1: hour day in the end, but it was two hours

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Speaker 1: driving to location each way. So it just was a

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Speaker 1: really big day and that was my kind of like

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Speaker 1: day off. And by the time so I get to

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Speaker 1: I work at a yoga studio. I teach yoga, and

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Speaker 1: I'm into the studio as well, so I'm an assistant

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Speaker 1: director and a lot of fun.

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Speaker 2: Love teaching, love the stuff really really fun.

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Speaker 1: But it's a forty hour commitment, right and I don't

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Speaker 1: live close to it, so you're in LA traffic for

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Speaker 1: a big chunk of each of your days, and last

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Speaker 1: week because I'd spent that whole extra day filming, which

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Speaker 1: I love. By the way, That's what I'm here to do,

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Speaker 1: Like I'm in LA to make it as either some

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Speaker 1: kind of entertainer, whether it's an actor, whether it's a

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Speaker 1: TV host, whether it's a reporter, whether it's a voice actor,

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Speaker 1: like any of those things. And because I'd like, I'm

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Speaker 1: kind of like grinding a way to.

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Speaker 2: Survive here and I use my day off to film.

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Speaker 1: By the time it got to my actual like Sunday,

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Speaker 1: I was like, oh my goodness, Like I am struggling

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Speaker 1: right now, and I want to be really clear. I

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Speaker 1: have an amazing therapist. So my mental health is something

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Speaker 1: that I don't take lightly and I really work very

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Speaker 1: hard on my mental health. And I think that if

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Speaker 1: you are ever going to come to America to chase

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Speaker 1: a dream, because it is culturally very different to Australia,

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Speaker 1: I would say, like get your mental like have a

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Speaker 1: mental health plan in place, whether that's that you've got

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Speaker 1: a therapist in place.

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Speaker 2: Or you find one here. That would be like my

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Speaker 2: number one tip because.

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Speaker 1: Having a creative career in any location is going to

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Speaker 1: be hard because job security is really not a thing.

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Speaker 1: Once you've finished one job, you're like, ooh, shivers, where's

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Speaker 1: my next job? So, and I don't want to be

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Speaker 1: around the bush. I want to let you know what happened.

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Speaker 1: So what happened was I met with a manager. We

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Speaker 1: had a really great first meeting, and I was really

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Speaker 1: excited because obviously I have a career that's multifacet whether

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Speaker 1: it's the nutrition staff, whether it's the lifestyle stuff, whether

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Speaker 1: it's on air talent, whether it's writing books, whether it's

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Speaker 1: the pod you know what I mean. It's like I

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Speaker 1: do a lot of different things. So a manager in America,

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Speaker 1: managers and agents are quite different. Agents can broker deals.

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Speaker 1: Managers can be like, oh, you've got an idea for

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Speaker 1: a TV show, Let's connect you with this production house

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Speaker 1: and see if we can get this off the ground,

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Speaker 1: and maybe we can talk to these people and see

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Speaker 1: if they want to get involved with the TV shows.

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Speaker 1: They see your big picture dreams, whereas agents like, here's

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Speaker 1: an audition, this is how much it pays, go now,

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Speaker 1: it's due in two hours. Like very different, much more transactional.

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Speaker 1: Whereas a manager like helps to kind of like flesh

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Speaker 1: out the dream. In Australia it's different. Two In the

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Speaker 1: one you'll have an agent or manager, and I think

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Speaker 1: in Australia it's called manager.

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Speaker 2: Anyway.

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Speaker 1: So I knew that the missing piece of my puzzle, well,

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Speaker 1: so I have an agent, and so I knew the

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Speaker 1: missing piece of my puzzle was a manager. Because the

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Speaker 1: agent that I have is for commercials like literally ads,

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Speaker 1: ad campaigns and four voiceover.

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Speaker 2: So it's great.

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Speaker 1: I get to really funne auditions with them, and I

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Speaker 1: probably do an audition once every two weeks probably sometimes

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Speaker 1: it's more and sometimes it's less, Like my last lution

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Speaker 1: might have been two weeks or three weeks even ago,

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Speaker 1: so their voiceover commercial. I don't have a theatrical agent.

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Speaker 1: Now that doesn't mean theater auditions. That means auditions for

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Speaker 1: TV shows and movies from procedural dramas like Gray's Anatomy

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Speaker 1: or Chicago Fire or nine to one one or any

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Speaker 1: of those shows to like your favorite Ryan Murphy shows

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Speaker 1: on Netflix. So you need a theatrical agent for that,

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Speaker 1: and for me, because I don't have acting credits, it's

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Speaker 1: really hard to get that. And so a manager is

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Speaker 1: a really great bridge to help facilitate because they've got

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Speaker 1: the connections and the relationships essentially. And so I met

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Speaker 1: with this manager and she was so lovely and asked

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Speaker 1: for all of my content of my entire career book stats,

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Speaker 1: I've written like five different TV pilot ideas, all my

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Speaker 1: TV pilot ideas, my bios, all my social media stats,

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Speaker 1: pod stats, like ask for everything, and was so lovely

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Speaker 1: and we spoke for like an hour.

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Speaker 2: It was really exciting, and then I had.

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Speaker 1: A follow up meeting. She was like, I want to

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Speaker 1: book a follow up meeting. Let me go through all

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Speaker 1: of your content, and I was like, great, follow up meeting.

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Speaker 1: Got canceled half an hour before the meeting, which I

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Speaker 1: think can happen, Like, I don't know, it's never happened

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Speaker 1: to me in Australia before, but I think in LA like,

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Speaker 1: obviously I'm a small fry here, very very small fry here.

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Speaker 1: I've never had that happen in Australia, so I don't

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Speaker 1: think it's an aussy thing.

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Speaker 2: So got canceled half an hour before.

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Speaker 1: Now, meanwhile, I work a forty forty hour job right

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Speaker 1: to pay for the rent, and so I was like

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Speaker 1: shit time my work day so that I could be

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Speaker 1: in this meeting, and it kind of just got canceled

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Speaker 1: at the blue and I was like, oh my god.

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Speaker 1: And so anyway, meeting got canceled. And then I followed up,

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Speaker 1: you know, so the meeting was canceled on Monday. I

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Speaker 1: followed up on a Thursday.

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Speaker 2: No response.

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Speaker 1: I followed up again on a Monday, and the response

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Speaker 1: was like, thanks so much, think you're really talented, won't

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Speaker 1: be signing you. Totally fine, totally just the way it rolls.

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Speaker 1: But that day this all happened. This week, it just

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Speaker 1: was enough to make me feel worthless to be completely

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Speaker 1: honest with you, and I just like broke down and

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Speaker 1: I said to Matt, what am I doing wrong? Like

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Speaker 1: I also have my book, a book pitch sitting with

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Speaker 1: another like a literary agent, and I'm not getting many

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Speaker 1: responses back if I'm being honest with you on that

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Speaker 1: one either. And I'm like, holy shit, like what am

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Speaker 1: I doing wrong here? And Matt's like, You're actually doing

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Speaker 1: nothing wrong. And it is a really tough city and

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Speaker 1: it's not livable in the way that Australia is super livable.

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Speaker 1: But if you do get a break, here, it can

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Speaker 1: really set you up, and so.

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Speaker 2: I'm trying to like hang in there here, and.

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Speaker 1: This was just one of those weeks off the back

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Speaker 1: of doing a really long week last week and taking

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Speaker 1: nutrition so I take nutrition consoles in Australia at nighttime,

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Speaker 1: like all Wellness console. And it's just like I was

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Speaker 1: just like wholly Mac getting completely burnt out, and so

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Speaker 1: I don't think I had the emotional capacity to not

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Speaker 1: take that email personally. And it's funny, like other things

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Speaker 1: have happened along the way, like I've been recommended to

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Speaker 1: train with like people top of their notch and they're

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Speaker 1: just not responding to my emails. And I don't know

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Speaker 1: if it's an ego thing, but I'm finding it really

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Speaker 1: hard to be at the like just thrown like you

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Speaker 1: feel like you're like thrown to the floor, like you're

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Speaker 1: the bottom of someone's to do parlim They're like, oh,

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Speaker 1: we'll get to that.

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Speaker 2: I was a girl, get a chance.

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Speaker 1: And it's hard because like all my life, when I

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Speaker 1: was working so hard on visas and what not to

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Speaker 1: get to America, all the feedback I would get from

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Speaker 1: American managers and agents was you have to be on

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Speaker 1: the ground it has to be boots on the ground

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Speaker 1: in LA. You have to be there so you're hirable.

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Speaker 1: And I can see the importance of that, especially with

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Speaker 1: how quickly the commercial auditions come in because the turnaround

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Speaker 1: is so tight one hundred percent. Also, if I had

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Speaker 1: a theatrical agent, sure, like you literally go to directors'

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Speaker 1: houses for callbacks, like that is a thing here and

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Speaker 1: that completely exists. But getting from and that's what I

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Speaker 1: think is so hard here. And I find this hard

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Speaker 1: in Australia too, but like getting having a career jump

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Speaker 1: or like accelerating your career here is really hard, so

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Speaker 1: like you can be in this like and I felt

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Speaker 1: it a lot with my career in Australia working in

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Speaker 1: TV as a nutritionist because I really wanted to become

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Speaker 1: a TV host and I shot oodles of pilots with

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Speaker 1: really prominent names in Australia for big networks and they

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Speaker 1: never got green lit, and it was always like I'd

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Speaker 1: feel so close to going to the next level with

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Speaker 1: my career and they'd be like, ah, you're a segment girl,

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Speaker 1: You're the wellness girl, you're the health and lifestyle girl,

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Speaker 1: and I was like great, Like I'm happy to be

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Speaker 1: those things. But I love the feeling of filming, like

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Speaker 1: I love the idea of like helping people via TV

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Speaker 1: and radio and pollods, which is why this pod exists

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Speaker 1: as well.

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Speaker 2: And so.

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Speaker 1: I guess what I wanted to do and talk about

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Speaker 1: this change to the Friday Diaries is, of course I'm

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Speaker 1: going to tell you about where I get my favorite

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Speaker 1: pumpkin spie Lata is from. And of course I'm going

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Speaker 1: to tell you what new things we've tried at Traded Joe's.

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Speaker 1: But I also want to be really real about the

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Speaker 1: struggle here. I think that like when we come to

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Speaker 1: La or America for a holiday, we think, oh my goodness,

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Speaker 1: it's all glitz and glam and you go to a

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Speaker 1: taping of Jimmy Kimmel and you go to Universal Studio

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Speaker 1: and you see all the possibility and all the sparkly stuff.

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Speaker 1: But really there's a lot of not sparkly stuff. I've

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Speaker 1: had incidences where I've felt like unsafe a lot in

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Speaker 1: LA and where I have kind of like even when

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Speaker 1: I park in a car park, like I'm naturally scan

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Speaker 1: to check that there's like no one coming for me,

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Speaker 1: and so.

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Speaker 2: I'm just trying to paint a very real picture.

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Speaker 1: Of course, it's through the lens of me, so like

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Speaker 1: this isn't going to be how like a lot of

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Speaker 1: other people live in LA, but this is through the

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Speaker 1: lens of someone that like is working in LA forty

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Speaker 1: hour week job, so full time job, and in those

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Speaker 1: spare pockets of time between that job, auditioning and essentially

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Speaker 1: trying to make the dream come true without with some representation,

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Speaker 1: but not with it all, like without a manager and

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Speaker 1: without a theatrical rep. And I just and I think

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Speaker 1: the same is a hurdle for creatives and definitely actors

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Speaker 1: in Australia. Is like you do all this training, like

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Speaker 1: I'm eight years trained now of like constantly studying voice school,

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Speaker 1: dialect coach, acting school, improv school, sitcom training, and no

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Speaker 1: matter how much training you do, it's so amazing.

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Speaker 2: But like.

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Speaker 1: Without the right representation, without the people that can get

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Speaker 1: your foot in the door and can get you in

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Speaker 1: the room, it is so tough, and it is like

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Speaker 1: some days are so hard, like not even empty. Like

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Speaker 1: I also like I'm on every single acting casting profile

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Speaker 1: online because there's three different types over here in LA.

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Speaker 1: I self submit and so like even with the self submissions.

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Speaker 1: And this is what a lot of people don't realize

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Speaker 1: about actors. If you don't get the job and your audition,

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Speaker 1: you don't get a response full stop. You only get

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Speaker 1: a response if you get a callback, So you don't

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Speaker 1: know if they even opened your tape, you don't know

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Speaker 1: if they didn't like your hair.

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Speaker 2: Color, you don't know what the reason was.

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Speaker 1: You never get feedback, and so you're in this constant

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Speaker 1: cycle of rejection or potential rejection, and it is really hard.

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Speaker 1: And that's what I want to stop sugarcoating, Like I know,

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Speaker 1: like and I am going to record a voiceover audition

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Speaker 1: straight after this, which is great, really exciting, so fun,

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Speaker 1: but like, I don't expect every time I do an audition,

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Speaker 1: I don't really expect to hear anything back. And most

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Speaker 1: days that's fine, But on a day like the day

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Speaker 1: where the manager just decided to not move forward with

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Speaker 1: me for whatever reason I was not the right fit,

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Speaker 1: whatever didn't my content and resonate, whatever it was, that

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Speaker 1: day hard for me. And I want to be real

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Speaker 1: about the yuckier side of living a creative life, going

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Speaker 1: for that life in LA I've just turned thirty nine,

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Speaker 1: so I'm in like I might have aged myself out

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Speaker 1: of certain I'm definitely aged out of certain roles. So yeah,

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Speaker 1: it's a funky it's a funky kind of time. It's

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Speaker 1: a it's uncomfortable, and yes, it's a resilience game, and

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Speaker 1: yes I believe that, Like I'll just keep plugging away

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Speaker 1: until I do get a win. But I think that

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Speaker 1: these Friday diaries now should be like an honest and

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Speaker 1: real truth about the battle essentially, because it is like

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Speaker 1: going a battle here. Like my therapist says that to

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Speaker 1: me all the time. He's like, to be sharp because

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Speaker 1: you're essentially in a battle zone emotionally and career wise.

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Speaker 2: And so.

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Speaker 1: Let me know, like write to me, tell me. I'm

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Speaker 1: always on inst Like, write to me and tell me

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Speaker 1: if you want to hear, like the good, the bad,

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Speaker 1: the ugly of like somebody.

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Speaker 2: Pursuing a creative dream.

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Speaker 1: In La without a win, without a credit, without all

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Speaker 1: this other stuff, Like I am constantly applying to become

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Speaker 1: like anchors and reporters.

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Speaker 2: And I had a meeting with.

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Speaker 1: A publicist the other day. He was like, you won't

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Speaker 1: get it because of your accent. And he was like,

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Speaker 1: I'm sorry, it's just the truth, and I'm like, great,

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Speaker 1: thank you, thank you. I'm still going to apply. And

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Speaker 1: so it's having that ability. I don't even know if

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Speaker 1: it's an ability, but to just like hear the nose

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Speaker 1: and just keep going. So my hope is through sharing

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Speaker 1: this realness with you, that when there is some little

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Speaker 1: glimmer of hope or sparkle of a win, that I

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Speaker 1: can share that with you along the way and it

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Speaker 1: be a little bit more of ah, not reality, but

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Speaker 1: like the honest truth of where our lady is at.

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Speaker 2: So each week I will give you a career.

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Speaker 1: Check in and let you know the truth and let

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Speaker 1: you know how I'm feeling about it all because hopefully

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Speaker 1: it's interesting to you if you do have a creative

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Speaker 1: endeavor or if you're thinking of like wanting to be

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Speaker 1: an actor or wanting to chase a dream or anything

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Speaker 1: like that. So that's my hope here. I just want

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Speaker 1: to be like open, honest and vulnerable. Tell me if

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Speaker 1: you like it or not. If you don't, we'll go

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Speaker 1: back to reviewing pumpkin spice lattes, no props and look,

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Speaker 1: my dad's visiting soon.

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Speaker 2: I'm sure there'll be lots of that. We're hoping to take.

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Speaker 1: Him on a few trips around America, like certain parts

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Speaker 1: of America, so that'll be lots of fun. But yeah,

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Speaker 1: I just want to be really open and honest and.

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Speaker 2: So that's me.

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Speaker 1: I'm going to sign off now again. Reach out, let

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Speaker 1: me know what you think. And yeah, this won't be edited.

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Speaker 1: I mean I really edit anyway. I like to just

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Speaker 1: give it to you, even with my stuff ups. But yeah, hooru,

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Speaker 1: big love all right, see you a gang