WEBVTT - Should We Be Trauma Dumping On Our Hairdressers? ✂️🤪

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<v Speaker 1>Flex and Frooms, Flex and Frooms. This is the Flex

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<v Speaker 1>and Frooms catch up podcast.

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<v Speaker 2>Trauma dumping with your hairdresser yay or nag yay?

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<v Speaker 1>I've never done myself.

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<v Speaker 3>I don't love being really chatty in service based environments

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<v Speaker 3>like hairdresser, nails, manicure, pedicure, whatever, unless we're friendly or friends.

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<v Speaker 3>But even so, I'll do a little customary small talk.

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<v Speaker 3>But let's zip it, keep it quiet. Not for any

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<v Speaker 3>reason that I don't want to feel fatigued when I

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<v Speaker 3>want to feel relaxed. And I already talk a lot. Generally,

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<v Speaker 3>I talk a lot for work. I don't want to

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<v Speaker 3>talk a lot at this three hour service. But I

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<v Speaker 3>will say I'm not the only one that feels this way.

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<v Speaker 3>I was recently reading an article on Refinerary twenty nine

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<v Speaker 3>talking about trauma dumping on your therapists and how it's

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<v Speaker 3>actually like a huge issue within the industry of hairdressing.

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<v Speaker 1>It's not just like you said, trauma dumping on your therapist,

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<v Speaker 1>you mean on your hair sal Honest. I was like, wait, so.

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<v Speaker 4>Now we can't even know somebody thevis No trauma dupping

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<v Speaker 4>with your hair dresser in any service based industry is

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<v Speaker 4>actually a huge issue, so much so that Laurier literally

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<v Speaker 4>did a study.

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<v Speaker 1>Why would you laugh, because of course they did. Of

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<v Speaker 1>course they did.

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<v Speaker 3>And so basically they're focusing on basically, they're focusing on

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<v Speaker 3>this initiative on salon workers' mental health, which I think

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<v Speaker 3>is very particular. But let's hear what they had to

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<v Speaker 3>say about it. They said that on average, hairstylists spend

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<v Speaker 3>two thousand hours per year listening to their clients.

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<v Speaker 2>Now, I also listening as part of the job, so

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<v Speaker 2>let's not categorize all listening.

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<v Speaker 1>I love that, Like the only thing that they're not

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<v Speaker 1>listening to is how much she wanted your hair, don't gorge,

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<v Speaker 1>don't tell it.

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<v Speaker 3>So it's reported that one and fifty hair professionals surveyed,

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<v Speaker 3>sixty five percent have experienced anxiety, burnout, of depression during

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<v Speaker 3>their professional careers, and some are saying that it usually

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<v Speaker 3>comes or usually aligned with this like emotional labor that

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<v Speaker 3>they have to do.

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<v Speaker 2>When dealing with clients.

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<v Speaker 3>So obviously part of the job in itself can be

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<v Speaker 3>quite emotionally taxing. You're dealing with people and their hair

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<v Speaker 3>and their image and what that means to them. But additionally,

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<v Speaker 3>to keep up those client relationships, what's expected, the friction,

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<v Speaker 3>the difficulty in keeping clients, the competitive landscape, all of

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<v Speaker 3>these things. It's not to say that I care or

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<v Speaker 3>don't care. I just think it's fascinating the trauma dumping,

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<v Speaker 3>especially because I do think that when I personally sit

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<v Speaker 3>in a chair with anyone doing something to my body,

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<v Speaker 3>I feel a closeness with them, or I feel like

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<v Speaker 3>there is a responsibility that they have, and I imagine

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<v Speaker 3>they take it really, really really seriously, like my tattoo is.

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<v Speaker 3>For example, the guy who's done my upper body. When

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<v Speaker 3>I first met him, I was like, what's the worst

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<v Speaker 3>part of your job? And he's like, oh, I just

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<v Speaker 3>think it's He's like, oh, it's not like the worst part.

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<v Speaker 3>But number one is known that you're inflicting pain on

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<v Speaker 3>everybody that comes in your chair, and that they're often

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<v Speaker 3>being really silent about that pain. They're just like pressing

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<v Speaker 3>it or repressing it. It's a weird thing because I

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<v Speaker 3>know it's true. I know you are experiencing pain and

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<v Speaker 3>you just have to kind of deny it for the

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<v Speaker 3>sake of the service. But also the second thing, he's like,

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<v Speaker 3>I experience a lot of weird relationships with people, parasocial relationships,

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<v Speaker 3>people who feel like we're close or that we're friends

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<v Speaker 3>because we have experience and intimacy. And so people come

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<v Speaker 3>in there and they share these secrets and they talk freely,

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<v Speaker 3>and they feel comfortable because you know, you're permanently marking

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<v Speaker 3>my skin, you're cutting my hair, you're taking away my identity,

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<v Speaker 3>or you're adding to my identity. Well, I might as

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<v Speaker 3>well just fill you in on the process. I wonder

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<v Speaker 3>if hairdressers, if like a hairdresser could really quantify how

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<v Speaker 3>much of their reoccurring client base is due to them

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<v Speaker 3>trauma dumping or allowing trauma dumping. You know, like that

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<v Speaker 3>closeness a client feels with their hairdresser. Is it because

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<v Speaker 3>they let you talk about insert relationship breakdown or your

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<v Speaker 3>annoying boss, or that coworker that you really love or

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<v Speaker 3>that first date you just went on. Because I imagine

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<v Speaker 3>it'd be a big amount. When I think about pets

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<v Speaker 3>I've gone to in the past, or manicurists I have loved,

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<v Speaker 3>you end up building a friendship because you're like, well,

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<v Speaker 3>why wouldn't I not tell you about this thing I

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<v Speaker 3>just went through. We're here now for sure?

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<v Speaker 1>But do they actually.

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<v Speaker 2>Want to do it? You know, it's like when Uber

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<v Speaker 2>released that talking.

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<v Speaker 1>Question, everyone had a load off that everyone had a

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<v Speaker 1>load off. No, I wonder if it is something like

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<v Speaker 1>I wonder. I always think about this with like ride

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<v Speaker 1>share kind of thing. If you're riding in a car

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<v Speaker 1>for a long time, probably do want to have a convo? Yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>my dad's times will take me to school and hey up,

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<v Speaker 1>I want to listen to my I love when I'm

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<v Speaker 1>like driving and I see like a parent taking their

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<v Speaker 1>kid to school and they got their headphones, and I

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<v Speaker 1>see one of mine. Should we talk about this more

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<v Speaker 1>on the podcast? Absolutely? I have feelings, especially about tattoo artists. Okay,

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<v Speaker 1>of course I only have one tatoo, but I can

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<v Speaker 1>speak to that experience. I will exploit the experience as

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<v Speaker 1>I have for many years now. I think of this

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<v Speaker 1>a lot with tattoo artists. As we know, we both

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<v Speaker 1>have a lot of experience with tattoo artist. Try you

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<v Speaker 1>as a consumer and me as the best friend of

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<v Speaker 1>a tattoo artist. Her name is Madison Griffiths. She tattoos

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<v Speaker 1>as well. Baby serious does it all? That's where she

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<v Speaker 1>that's her job? What? Yeah, yeah, look Okay, guys, are

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<v Speaker 1>my best friends.

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<v Speaker 3>This is Madison, author, documentary and podcaster. Yeah, also tattoo artist.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, look at her instagrams Madison Griffiths. So just sort

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<v Speaker 1>of say, guys, this is my best friend and we

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<v Speaker 1>talk every day and she's always telling me that, you know,

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<v Speaker 1>it's a major part of her job is talking to clients,

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<v Speaker 1>and like her work as a writer as well is

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<v Speaker 1>very kind of like personal writing. It's about feminism and

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<v Speaker 1>kind of all that jazz and.

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<v Speaker 2>Yes' seminism and all that does she's et cetera.

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<v Speaker 1>Whatever, that's stuff whatever, And yeah, she often talks about

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<v Speaker 1>kind of like the how close it feels straight away,

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<v Speaker 1>and she would have it like doubly as someone who

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<v Speaker 1>both tattoos people, so who's listening, but also like a

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<v Speaker 1>lot of the people that come and see her have

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<v Speaker 1>read her book, so there's like this like if you

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<v Speaker 1>read my friend's book, it's called tissue, Like it's so personal,

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<v Speaker 1>So I think that's husing. But yeah, she does definitely

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<v Speaker 1>talk about the like emotions that come with it. And

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<v Speaker 1>I think with hairdressing, do I get it. I'm a

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<v Speaker 1>girl who doesn't like to speak. It's interesting to me

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<v Speaker 1>that you say that when someone's like doing something to

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<v Speaker 1>your body a manicurist and massuse, you like think about it.

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<v Speaker 1>I don't think about it. And you're saying that's just

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<v Speaker 1>made me realize, Oh yeah, when someone's massaging me, it's

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<v Speaker 1>like go out of my body. Like I'm not. I'm

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<v Speaker 1>not thinking o my Like if I if I thought about, oh,

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<v Speaker 1>there's like a person in the room touching me right now,

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<v Speaker 1>I'd probably stell freaking out. Oh I like to I

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<v Speaker 1>think I'm good at like removing myself.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm disassociating.

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<v Speaker 1>I become not Lucinda. I'm just who are you? Or

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<v Speaker 1>just a sack?

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<v Speaker 4>Yeah?

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, caracas a caracas. Right, this is an interesting break flex.

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<v Speaker 1>Thanks for bringing that in.

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<v Speaker 2>We just got here. Were not even done. But what

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<v Speaker 2>do you mean it's literally been too or maybe two minutes.

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<v Speaker 2>I don't worry.

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<v Speaker 1>I can speak some more. I swear that went for ages.

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<v Speaker 3>No, okay, sorry it didn't. What I will say though,

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<v Speaker 3>I reckon that. I remember I told you about that

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<v Speaker 3>uber I took in Ghana and he was saying that

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<v Speaker 3>he notices that people think that the exchange of money

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<v Speaker 3>removes their social responsibility. So if I'm paying you to

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<v Speaker 3>take me from A to Z. I don't have to

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<v Speaker 3>know who you are, what your name is. The money

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<v Speaker 3>I'm giving you is for the service. And he's like,

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<v Speaker 3>if you're really deep it, I'm making sure I'm transporting

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<v Speaker 3>your whole body exactly where you need to be. Your

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<v Speaker 3>life is in my hand, your safety is in my hands.

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<v Speaker 3>You're trusting that I won't just take you off road

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<v Speaker 3>and go and traffic you. And maybe you're not thinking

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<v Speaker 3>about it that deeply. He's like, I'm aware of it,

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<v Speaker 3>and I see it. And he's like, also, you're a

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<v Speaker 3>whole person. We're having this thirty minute experience. Why would

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<v Speaker 3>we not know each other's names. That feels a bit strange,

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<v Speaker 3>and I can imagine in different industries, hairdressing, any service

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<v Speaker 3>based industry, people might have the idea that I'm paying

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<v Speaker 3>for this experience, Like I'm paying you six hundred dollars

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<v Speaker 3>to do my hair. The least you could do is

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<v Speaker 3>listen to me or let me say, let me give

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<v Speaker 3>you feedback. However, I want to give you feedback or

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<v Speaker 3>let me vent for a little bit, or offer me

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<v Speaker 3>a drink.

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<v Speaker 2>It's the least you could do. And I feel like.

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<v Speaker 3>We kind of get transaction and socializing confusing because a

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<v Speaker 3>lot of just plain socializing is transactional. I share so

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<v Speaker 3>because I want you to share, and vice versa, and

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<v Speaker 3>we don't really understand what our role is when things

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<v Speaker 3>feel personal and they're not. Like I say all the time,

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<v Speaker 3>when I say things like I don't really want a

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<v Speaker 3>lot of new friends, it's still saying I'm not open

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<v Speaker 3>to friends. I'm aware of what friendship is and I

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<v Speaker 3>know they don't have the capacity for heaps of it.

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<v Speaker 3>But people get offended. She just want to be my friend.

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<v Speaker 3>I'm not even thinking about you. That's why I think

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<v Speaker 3>it comes to in other instances like I'm paying this

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<v Speaker 3>money and I need this experience, and I want my

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<v Speaker 3>hair to be perfect, and I want this there's a

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<v Speaker 3>whole other person and their role heat isn't just to

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<v Speaker 3>provide you this service. They actually exist out of this transaction.

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<v Speaker 3>It's like a whole person, not like an I robot

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<v Speaker 3>hair cutting machine.

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<v Speaker 2>I don't think we really think about that. Like you know,

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<v Speaker 2>when you like, let's say you go to.

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<v Speaker 3>Have you ever had a conversation with a stranger or

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<v Speaker 3>like a bartend, You're like, oh, gosh, I needed that

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<v Speaker 3>it was so good.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, and it's like did they need that? I don't

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<v Speaker 2>know if they needed that.

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<v Speaker 1>You think you're being so charming and they're like, yeah

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<v Speaker 1>for that Twelter.

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<v Speaker 3>Do cocktail that they have already spent fifty minutes making,

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<v Speaker 3>so that they're in deficit.

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<v Speaker 4>Bro.

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<v Speaker 1>It's like when you just get macas and you're like, wait,

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<v Speaker 1>someone made this. It didn't come out of the micro

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<v Speaker 1>like out of like the little McDonald's machine. Can't think

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<v Speaker 1>about it too much, sums God. You've been listening to

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<v Speaker 1>the Flex and Frooms Daily podcast. For more, tune in

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<v Speaker 1>de cater on D A B or stream it on

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