Speaker 1: Flex and Frooms, Flex and Frooms. This is the Flex
Speaker 1: and Frooms catch up podcast.
Speaker 2: Trauma dumping with your hairdresser yay or nag yay?
Speaker 1: I've never done myself.
Speaker 3: I don't love being really chatty in service based environments
Speaker 3: like hairdresser, nails, manicure, pedicure, whatever, unless we're friendly or friends.
Speaker 3: But even so, I'll do a little customary small talk.
Speaker 3: But let's zip it, keep it quiet. Not for any
Speaker 3: reason that I don't want to feel fatigued when I
Speaker 3: want to feel relaxed. And I already talk a lot. Generally,
Speaker 3: I talk a lot for work. I don't want to
Speaker 3: talk a lot at this three hour service. But I
Speaker 3: will say I'm not the only one that feels this way.
Speaker 3: I was recently reading an article on Refinerary twenty nine
Speaker 3: talking about trauma dumping on your therapists and how it's
Speaker 3: actually like a huge issue within the industry of hairdressing.
Speaker 1: It's not just like you said, trauma dumping on your therapist,
Speaker 1: you mean on your hair sal Honest. I was like, wait, so.
Speaker 4: Now we can't even know somebody thevis No trauma dupping
Speaker 4: with your hair dresser in any service based industry is
Speaker 4: actually a huge issue, so much so that Laurier literally
Speaker 4: did a study.
Speaker 1: Why would you laugh, because of course they did. Of
Speaker 1: course they did.
Speaker 3: And so basically they're focusing on basically, they're focusing on
Speaker 3: this initiative on salon workers' mental health, which I think
Speaker 3: is very particular. But let's hear what they had to
Speaker 3: say about it. They said that on average, hairstylists spend
Speaker 3: two thousand hours per year listening to their clients.
Speaker 2: Now, I also listening as part of the job, so
Speaker 2: let's not categorize all listening.
Speaker 1: I love that, Like the only thing that they're not
Speaker 1: listening to is how much she wanted your hair, don't gorge,
Speaker 1: don't tell it.
Speaker 3: So it's reported that one and fifty hair professionals surveyed,
Speaker 3: sixty five percent have experienced anxiety, burnout, of depression during
Speaker 3: their professional careers, and some are saying that it usually
Speaker 3: comes or usually aligned with this like emotional labor that
Speaker 3: they have to do.
Speaker 2: When dealing with clients.
Speaker 3: So obviously part of the job in itself can be
Speaker 3: quite emotionally taxing. You're dealing with people and their hair
Speaker 3: and their image and what that means to them. But additionally,
Speaker 3: to keep up those client relationships, what's expected, the friction,
Speaker 3: the difficulty in keeping clients, the competitive landscape, all of
Speaker 3: these things. It's not to say that I care or
Speaker 3: don't care. I just think it's fascinating the trauma dumping,
Speaker 3: especially because I do think that when I personally sit
Speaker 3: in a chair with anyone doing something to my body,
Speaker 3: I feel a closeness with them, or I feel like
Speaker 3: there is a responsibility that they have, and I imagine
Speaker 3: they take it really, really really seriously, like my tattoo is.
Speaker 3: For example, the guy who's done my upper body. When
Speaker 3: I first met him, I was like, what's the worst
Speaker 3: part of your job? And he's like, oh, I just
Speaker 3: think it's He's like, oh, it's not like the worst part.
Speaker 3: But number one is known that you're inflicting pain on
Speaker 3: everybody that comes in your chair, and that they're often
Speaker 3: being really silent about that pain. They're just like pressing
Speaker 3: it or repressing it. It's a weird thing because I
Speaker 3: know it's true. I know you are experiencing pain and
Speaker 3: you just have to kind of deny it for the
Speaker 3: sake of the service. But also the second thing, he's like,
Speaker 3: I experience a lot of weird relationships with people, parasocial relationships,
Speaker 3: people who feel like we're close or that we're friends
Speaker 3: because we have experience and intimacy. And so people come
Speaker 3: in there and they share these secrets and they talk freely,
Speaker 3: and they feel comfortable because you know, you're permanently marking
Speaker 3: my skin, you're cutting my hair, you're taking away my identity,
Speaker 3: or you're adding to my identity. Well, I might as
Speaker 3: well just fill you in on the process. I wonder
Speaker 3: if hairdressers, if like a hairdresser could really quantify how
Speaker 3: much of their reoccurring client base is due to them
Speaker 3: trauma dumping or allowing trauma dumping. You know, like that
Speaker 3: closeness a client feels with their hairdresser. Is it because
Speaker 3: they let you talk about insert relationship breakdown or your
Speaker 3: annoying boss, or that coworker that you really love or
Speaker 3: that first date you just went on. Because I imagine
Speaker 3: it'd be a big amount. When I think about pets
Speaker 3: I've gone to in the past, or manicurists I have loved,
Speaker 3: you end up building a friendship because you're like, well,
Speaker 3: why wouldn't I not tell you about this thing I
Speaker 3: just went through. We're here now for sure?
Speaker 1: But do they actually.
Speaker 2: Want to do it? You know, it's like when Uber
Speaker 2: released that talking.
Speaker 1: Question, everyone had a load off that everyone had a
Speaker 1: load off. No, I wonder if it is something like
Speaker 1: I wonder. I always think about this with like ride
Speaker 1: share kind of thing. If you're riding in a car
Speaker 1: for a long time, probably do want to have a convo? Yeah,
Speaker 1: my dad's times will take me to school and hey up,
Speaker 1: I want to listen to my I love when I'm
Speaker 1: like driving and I see like a parent taking their
Speaker 1: kid to school and they got their headphones, and I
Speaker 1: see one of mine. Should we talk about this more
Speaker 1: on the podcast? Absolutely? I have feelings, especially about tattoo artists. Okay,
Speaker 1: of course I only have one tatoo, but I can
Speaker 1: speak to that experience. I will exploit the experience as
Speaker 1: I have for many years now. I think of this
Speaker 1: a lot with tattoo artists. As we know, we both
Speaker 1: have a lot of experience with tattoo artist. Try you
Speaker 1: as a consumer and me as the best friend of
Speaker 1: a tattoo artist. Her name is Madison Griffiths. She tattoos
Speaker 1: as well. Baby serious does it all? That's where she
Speaker 1: that's her job? What? Yeah, yeah, look Okay, guys, are
Speaker 1: my best friends.
Speaker 3: This is Madison, author, documentary and podcaster. Yeah, also tattoo artist.
Speaker 1: Yeah, look at her instagrams Madison Griffiths. So just sort
Speaker 1: of say, guys, this is my best friend and we
Speaker 1: talk every day and she's always telling me that, you know,
Speaker 1: it's a major part of her job is talking to clients,
Speaker 1: and like her work as a writer as well is
Speaker 1: very kind of like personal writing. It's about feminism and
Speaker 1: kind of all that jazz and.
Speaker 2: Yes' seminism and all that does she's et cetera.
Speaker 1: Whatever, that's stuff whatever, And yeah, she often talks about
Speaker 1: kind of like the how close it feels straight away,
Speaker 1: and she would have it like doubly as someone who
Speaker 1: both tattoos people, so who's listening, but also like a
Speaker 1: lot of the people that come and see her have
Speaker 1: read her book, so there's like this like if you
Speaker 1: read my friend's book, it's called tissue, Like it's so personal,
Speaker 1: So I think that's husing. But yeah, she does definitely
Speaker 1: talk about the like emotions that come with it. And
Speaker 1: I think with hairdressing, do I get it. I'm a
Speaker 1: girl who doesn't like to speak. It's interesting to me
Speaker 1: that you say that when someone's like doing something to
Speaker 1: your body a manicurist and massuse, you like think about it.
Speaker 1: I don't think about it. And you're saying that's just
Speaker 1: made me realize, Oh yeah, when someone's massaging me, it's
Speaker 1: like go out of my body. Like I'm not. I'm
Speaker 1: not thinking o my Like if I if I thought about, oh,
Speaker 1: there's like a person in the room touching me right now,
Speaker 1: I'd probably stell freaking out. Oh I like to I
Speaker 1: think I'm good at like removing myself.
Speaker 2: I'm disassociating.
Speaker 1: I become not Lucinda. I'm just who are you? Or
Speaker 1: just a sack?
Speaker 4: Yeah?
Speaker 1: Yeah, caracas a caracas. Right, this is an interesting break flex.
Speaker 1: Thanks for bringing that in.
Speaker 2: We just got here. Were not even done. But what
Speaker 2: do you mean it's literally been too or maybe two minutes.
Speaker 2: I don't worry.
Speaker 1: I can speak some more. I swear that went for ages.
Speaker 3: No, okay, sorry it didn't. What I will say though,
Speaker 3: I reckon that. I remember I told you about that
Speaker 3: uber I took in Ghana and he was saying that
Speaker 3: he notices that people think that the exchange of money
Speaker 3: removes their social responsibility. So if I'm paying you to
Speaker 3: take me from A to Z. I don't have to
Speaker 3: know who you are, what your name is. The money
Speaker 3: I'm giving you is for the service. And he's like,
Speaker 3: if you're really deep it, I'm making sure I'm transporting
Speaker 3: your whole body exactly where you need to be. Your
Speaker 3: life is in my hand, your safety is in my hands.
Speaker 3: You're trusting that I won't just take you off road
Speaker 3: and go and traffic you. And maybe you're not thinking
Speaker 3: about it that deeply. He's like, I'm aware of it,
Speaker 3: and I see it. And he's like, also, you're a
Speaker 3: whole person. We're having this thirty minute experience. Why would
Speaker 3: we not know each other's names. That feels a bit strange,
Speaker 3: and I can imagine in different industries, hairdressing, any service
Speaker 3: based industry, people might have the idea that I'm paying
Speaker 3: for this experience, Like I'm paying you six hundred dollars
Speaker 3: to do my hair. The least you could do is
Speaker 3: listen to me or let me say, let me give
Speaker 3: you feedback. However, I want to give you feedback or
Speaker 3: let me vent for a little bit, or offer me
Speaker 3: a drink.
Speaker 2: It's the least you could do. And I feel like.
Speaker 3: We kind of get transaction and socializing confusing because a
Speaker 3: lot of just plain socializing is transactional. I share so
Speaker 3: because I want you to share, and vice versa, and
Speaker 3: we don't really understand what our role is when things
Speaker 3: feel personal and they're not. Like I say all the time,
Speaker 3: when I say things like I don't really want a
Speaker 3: lot of new friends, it's still saying I'm not open
Speaker 3: to friends. I'm aware of what friendship is and I
Speaker 3: know they don't have the capacity for heaps of it.
Speaker 3: But people get offended. She just want to be my friend.
Speaker 3: I'm not even thinking about you. That's why I think
Speaker 3: it comes to in other instances like I'm paying this
Speaker 3: money and I need this experience, and I want my
Speaker 3: hair to be perfect, and I want this there's a
Speaker 3: whole other person and their role heat isn't just to
Speaker 3: provide you this service. They actually exist out of this transaction.
Speaker 3: It's like a whole person, not like an I robot
Speaker 3: hair cutting machine.
Speaker 2: I don't think we really think about that. Like you know,
Speaker 2: when you like, let's say you go to.
Speaker 3: Have you ever had a conversation with a stranger or
Speaker 3: like a bartend, You're like, oh, gosh, I needed that
Speaker 3: it was so good.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and it's like did they need that? I don't
Speaker 2: know if they needed that.
Speaker 1: You think you're being so charming and they're like, yeah
Speaker 1: for that Twelter.
Speaker 3: Do cocktail that they have already spent fifty minutes making,
Speaker 3: so that they're in deficit.
Speaker 4: Bro.
Speaker 1: It's like when you just get macas and you're like, wait,
Speaker 1: someone made this. It didn't come out of the micro
Speaker 1: like out of like the little McDonald's machine. Can't think
Speaker 1: about it too much, sums God. You've been listening to
Speaker 1: the Flex and Frooms Daily podcast. For more, tune in
Speaker 1: de cater on D A B or stream it on
Speaker 1: iHeartRadio