WEBVTT - FULL SHOW: Cloud & Is Honesty The New Lying? 0:00:01.320 --> 0:00:05.480 Are you ready? The pickup with Britt Hockley and Laura Burn. 0:00:05.680 --> 0:00:10.719 Radio work Our windows down, my world risen the dust 0:00:10.880 --> 0:00:12.559 only good zabzugle down. 0:00:13.640 --> 0:00:17.640 I've done much, but yeah I'm not. I'll big get 0:00:17.640 --> 0:00:20.040 and what I want. It doesn't matter where. 0:00:20.680 --> 0:00:21.800 This is the pick up. 0:00:22.120 --> 0:00:24.720 It's the pickup with Britt Hackley and Laura Burn. 0:00:24.840 --> 0:00:27.840 Hi, guys, Hi, guys. What is this question you have 0:00:27.960 --> 0:00:28.159 for me? 0:00:28.320 --> 0:00:28.400 No? 0:00:28.400 --> 0:00:30.440 I've just been thinking about this all week because there's 0:00:30.480 --> 0:00:31.960 so much I don't know about, like what it's like 0:00:31.960 --> 0:00:33.960 to have kids, because I surprisingly. 0:00:33.479 --> 0:00:36.239 Don't have kids. You I know, but you went to 0:00:36.720 --> 0:00:37.879 South Africa last. 0:00:37.640 --> 0:00:39.920 Week and you flew alone with the kids on like 0:00:39.920 --> 0:00:40.920 a thirty hour flight. 0:00:41.120 --> 0:00:42.919 Well it was twenty two, but I like the exaggeration. 0:00:43.000 --> 0:00:44.120 It felt like thirty with the. 0:00:44.120 --> 0:00:47.280 Time that you traveled to the airport three hours earlier. Yeah, stuff, 0:00:47.320 --> 0:00:50.800 it's thirty hours. It's a big time and you were alone, 0:00:50.880 --> 0:00:55.200 single parenting. I couldn't get my head around. Are you 0:00:55.320 --> 0:00:58.480 allowed to sleep as a parent on a plane if. 0:00:58.400 --> 0:01:01.520 You've got two kids with you that are asleep, because 0:01:01.680 --> 0:01:04.679 I imagine you would have been so exhausted. But if you 0:01:04.720 --> 0:01:06.280 go to sleep and wake up and they're just not there. 0:01:06.400 --> 0:01:07.160 Like what happens. 0:01:07.200 --> 0:01:09.640 It's very hard to sleep when they're not asleep. Like, 0:01:09.800 --> 0:01:11.680 so the problem is is one of them will fall asleep, 0:01:11.720 --> 0:01:13.480 but the other ones not asleep, so you're kind of 0:01:13.520 --> 0:01:16.119 like tagged teeming their sleep. But there was this one 0:01:16.160 --> 0:01:19.280 point when Lola, my youngest who's four, was asleep and 0:01:19.360 --> 0:01:21.280 Marley was watching a movie and I was just kind 0:01:21.319 --> 0:01:23.399 of like half bug eyed and kind of falling asleep 0:01:23.440 --> 0:01:24.920 in my chair and Molly turns around. 0:01:25.000 --> 0:01:27.559 She strokes my face, and she goes, I mean, it's okay, 0:01:28.000 --> 0:01:30.600 you can just have a sleep. She goes, you should 0:01:30.680 --> 0:01:32.560 just I won't even talk to you. You just have 0:01:32.600 --> 0:01:35.000 a sleep now. But do they know not get up 0:01:35.040 --> 0:01:36.759 and walk around and stuff. Oh yeah, they're not gonna 0:01:36.760 --> 0:01:37.600 get up and walk around. 0:01:37.920 --> 0:01:40.280 Maybe some other people's kids might, but my kids don't 0:01:40.280 --> 0:01:41.720 really want to be far away from where I am. 0:01:41.720 --> 0:01:43.319 They want to be with me. So I napped. 0:01:43.400 --> 0:01:45.920 Yeah, I napped with the permission of my daughter, who 0:01:45.920 --> 0:01:48.800 stroked my face to my five year old tugged me, 0:01:48.880 --> 0:01:50.160 and I was so wrecked. 0:01:50.240 --> 0:01:52.080 Well, guys, we do have a big show today. 0:01:52.080 --> 0:01:54.320 We got to ask on cut coming up with one 0:01:54.320 --> 0:01:56.160 of our listeners who doesn't know what to do with 0:01:56.200 --> 0:01:58.600 some big feelings that she has for a boss. You 0:01:58.640 --> 0:02:01.200 know what I say to that, don't coop where you eat, 0:02:01.720 --> 0:02:03.080 don't do it bang him? 0:02:03.160 --> 0:02:05.800 No, actually I wouldn't. I'm thinking about our bosses and 0:02:06.120 --> 0:02:07.200 I'll stop anyway. 0:02:07.240 --> 0:02:10.960 Okay, Look they also listen to this and now they're offenders. Sorry, bosses. 0:02:11.360 --> 0:02:12.399 I'm a happy married woman. 0:02:13.880 --> 0:02:16.200 It is time being that it is a Thursday for 0:02:16.280 --> 0:02:18.880 something we do every Thursday. We also do it on 0:02:18.919 --> 0:02:21.240 our Life Uncut podcast, and that is ask Guncut. 0:02:21.400 --> 0:02:22.440 Will you guys call up. 0:02:22.400 --> 0:02:25.080 With your biggest, your deepest, darkest dilemma and we do 0:02:25.200 --> 0:02:27.520 our absolute best to answer them, even though we are 0:02:27.639 --> 0:02:29.359 technically very unqualified to do something. 0:02:29.400 --> 0:02:31.880 Stop telling people that I don't call anymore. But we 0:02:31.919 --> 0:02:34.000 give good advice. Though we are qualified. 0:02:34.040 --> 0:02:36.760 We give good advice because we've lived through some pretty wild, 0:02:36.919 --> 0:02:40.680 terrible relationships. I would say, but anyway, here it is okay, Alex. 0:02:41.200 --> 0:02:43.480 She's giving us a call because she's got some very 0:02:43.520 --> 0:02:46.440 strong feelings for her boss. Alex. 0:02:46.440 --> 0:02:48.720 Are you there, Hi? Yeah? 0:02:48.760 --> 0:02:51.120 And I'm hoping you guys can give me some good advice. 0:02:51.520 --> 0:02:52.480 What is going on? 0:02:53.400 --> 0:02:55.840 I've been working at this company for a couple of 0:02:55.919 --> 0:02:59.160 years now, and I've got a crush on my boss. 0:03:00.000 --> 0:03:01.560 It's the type of company and or don't tell me 0:03:01.600 --> 0:03:03.560 where you work, but like what kind of industry you 0:03:04.000 --> 0:03:07.239 your location? And also is there a big age discrepancy 0:03:07.320 --> 0:03:10.519 with your boss or is it discrepancy age disparity? 0:03:11.280 --> 0:03:14.360 Well, look, is it chilly to say, like I assume 0:03:14.560 --> 0:03:17.040 he's in his like late thirties. 0:03:17.480 --> 0:03:20.240 Oh he's young, young boss. How old are you are? 0:03:20.520 --> 0:03:21.120 How old are you? 0:03:21.639 --> 0:03:23.000 I'm in my mid twenties. 0:03:23.280 --> 0:03:24.359 How big is the company? 0:03:24.440 --> 0:03:26.240 Do you work really closely with him or do you 0:03:26.280 --> 0:03:27.919 just like have to brush past him and smell his 0:03:27.960 --> 0:03:28.840 clone in the hallway? 0:03:29.440 --> 0:03:32.160 So to explain it, it's like we work on an 0:03:32.560 --> 0:03:36.200 office floor, so like there's heaps of people around, but 0:03:36.960 --> 0:03:39.800 with my position, me and him talk a lot. 0:03:40.240 --> 0:03:43.240 Has he given you any indication? Is there any flirting? 0:03:43.360 --> 0:03:45.480 Do you get the vibe that there is something there 0:03:46.080 --> 0:03:47.640 or is it just a kind of feeling a bit 0:03:47.640 --> 0:03:48.200 one sided? 0:03:48.920 --> 0:03:50.960 I feel like I'm blushing talking about this. 0:03:51.680 --> 0:03:51.960 I don't. 0:03:53.640 --> 0:03:57.920 Yeah, of course we're like always flirty. And there was 0:03:57.960 --> 0:04:01.680 this one time when we went out for work drinks, 0:04:02.040 --> 0:04:05.240 like conversation was flowing and stuff, and we like almost 0:04:05.320 --> 0:04:06.840 kiss but like didn't. 0:04:07.040 --> 0:04:07.880 Sounds like a movie. 0:04:08.920 --> 0:04:13.360 So I definitely feel like the vibes are reciprocated, but 0:04:13.480 --> 0:04:16.400 like I totally get the whole, like it's inappropriate because 0:04:16.400 --> 0:04:18.080 I'm in his employee, you know what I mean? 0:04:18.200 --> 0:04:20.279 Now, I used to feel that, but I don't anymore. 0:04:20.440 --> 0:04:22.680 I used to in some instances. I still do britch. 0:04:22.800 --> 0:04:24.680 I used to say, don't poop where you eat, and 0:04:24.880 --> 0:04:27.480 it's you know, there's a power play here and all 0:04:27.520 --> 0:04:30.040 this stuff and all of that is true. But what 0:04:30.120 --> 0:04:32.400 I do want to say is if this could be 0:04:32.440 --> 0:04:34.560 your penguin and you think that this could be the 0:04:34.600 --> 0:04:36.919 love of your life, you can't not try just because 0:04:36.920 --> 0:04:37.680 it's your boss. 0:04:38.080 --> 0:04:41.800 You might be jobless. You cannot try because it's your boss. Yeah, 0:04:41.800 --> 0:04:43.920 but then you can sue him. They can't fight you. 0:04:44.040 --> 0:04:47.000 Oh my god, is the word vibe? No, it's not. 0:04:47.160 --> 0:04:49.760 If you think it's reciprocated and there are proper feelings there, 0:04:49.800 --> 0:04:52.080 there are definitely ways around it, and it depends on 0:04:52.120 --> 0:04:54.400 what your industry is and what the company's set up is, 0:04:54.400 --> 0:04:55.640 and if you have to go and let them know 0:04:55.640 --> 0:04:56.400 you're dating. 0:04:56.360 --> 0:04:58.520 People date at work all the time. 0:04:58.600 --> 0:04:59.920 It just has to make you just have to make 0:05:00.120 --> 0:05:02.320 sure that no one's been taken advantage of, it's all 0:05:02.360 --> 0:05:04.960 on board, it's all consensual, and then I think go 0:05:05.040 --> 0:05:05.320 for it. 0:05:05.560 --> 0:05:10.680 Also you might get a pay rise, Alex. 0:05:11.080 --> 0:05:15.360 I think be careful because it depends on multiple things. 0:05:15.440 --> 0:05:17.320 One is is like how much you actually. 0:05:17.080 --> 0:05:18.880 Really like your job and where you work, because the 0:05:18.920 --> 0:05:22.320 relationship dynamic could change if you've read things wrong. And 0:05:22.400 --> 0:05:24.960 also you definitely don't want to be in a situation 0:05:25.040 --> 0:05:28.280 where he feels uncomfortable because I think, you know, think 0:05:28.279 --> 0:05:30.240 about it. On the flip side, if you were made 0:05:30.279 --> 0:05:33.000 to feel uncomfortable because someone in your workplace was making 0:05:33.000 --> 0:05:35.680 advances at you like, that would be a whole different situation. 0:05:35.839 --> 0:05:38.120 So I mean, could you ask him out for a 0:05:38.200 --> 0:05:40.480 drink or something and see what his response to that 0:05:40.480 --> 0:05:42.320 would be and gauge that. 0:05:42.400 --> 0:05:43.120 She's gauged it. 0:05:43.120 --> 0:05:45.240 You're just still giving it the same one hand, just 0:05:45.240 --> 0:05:46.720 saying don't do it. The next one you're like, ask 0:05:46.800 --> 0:05:49.719 him for a drick. You're the one giving conflicted advice. 0:05:50.080 --> 0:05:53.080 I just think only go there if you think it's 0:05:53.120 --> 0:05:55.880 going to be something remotely or relatively serious. If you're 0:05:55.880 --> 0:05:58.120 just looking for a hookup or something, and it's absolutely 0:05:58.160 --> 0:06:01.200 not worth making this chaos. 0:06:00.760 --> 0:06:03.240 In your work environment. Like, on a serious note, don't 0:06:03.240 --> 0:06:05.040 touch it. Do you even know if he's single. 0:06:05.960 --> 0:06:09.520 Yeah, he's definitely single, and like he is flirty, Like 0:06:09.839 --> 0:06:11.560 he likes to ask me what I'm up to on 0:06:11.600 --> 0:06:14.960 the weekends and stuff. It just never like eventuates in 0:06:14.960 --> 0:06:17.080 the conversation, you know what I mean. So maybe he's 0:06:17.120 --> 0:06:20.359 also feeling the same thing, like he doesn't want to 0:06:20.360 --> 0:06:22.240 be inappropriate and take the wrong step. 0:06:22.560 --> 0:06:25.040 Yeah, he's keen. Is it keen? Just because someone asks 0:06:25.080 --> 0:06:27.120 you what you're doing on the weekend? Is that flirting? 0:06:27.120 --> 0:06:30.080 These days? They kissed? Unless that was fake and you 0:06:30.160 --> 0:06:32.760 imagined it? How did you almost kiss but then didn't kiss? 0:06:32.800 --> 0:06:33.520 Like what happened? 0:06:34.080 --> 0:06:38.360 It was like a goodbye sort of situation. We were 0:06:38.400 --> 0:06:41.159 both lingering and I could see he was looking at 0:06:41.200 --> 0:06:43.040 my lips like total signs that he was going to 0:06:43.120 --> 0:06:47.560 kiss me. And then and then so we're waiting for 0:06:47.600 --> 0:06:49.760 a taxi and somebody just came out and kind of 0:06:49.800 --> 0:06:51.480 like interrupted it type of thing. 0:06:51.960 --> 0:06:55.640 Yeah, it is a movie that's devastating. Maybe next Christmas. 0:06:55.279 --> 0:06:58.960 Party, I don't know if I can wait that long. 0:06:59.160 --> 0:07:01.360 No, I hang out in a weekend. But I think 0:07:01.400 --> 0:07:03.039 it must probably have to come from you because it 0:07:03.040 --> 0:07:04.000 probably can't come from him. 0:07:04.040 --> 0:07:05.920 He'll get fired. But if it comes from your end, 0:07:05.960 --> 0:07:06.400 it might. 0:07:06.279 --> 0:07:08.120 Be all right, okay? 0:07:08.600 --> 0:07:10.600 Or is he into like fitness stuff? Could you go 0:07:10.640 --> 0:07:12.440 for a run or go and do it like a 0:07:12.440 --> 0:07:15.800 big walking for a run of them pash, sweaty pash 0:07:15.840 --> 0:07:16.160 at the end. 0:07:16.240 --> 0:07:18.000 I don't know. Guy's been a long time since I've 0:07:18.040 --> 0:07:18.440 dated me. 0:07:18.880 --> 0:07:20.920 I think that's not a bad idea. A hot girl 0:07:20.960 --> 0:07:22.239 walk is always an option. 0:07:22.400 --> 0:07:24.640 Yeah, you could be like, I've found this really great cafe. 0:07:24.720 --> 0:07:27.520 I'm into my walking now. I've never got to walk. 0:07:27.560 --> 0:07:29.160 You're never going to kiss on a walk. I have 0:07:29.240 --> 0:07:30.520 tried every date in history. 0:07:30.640 --> 0:07:34.080 I've done it, breakfast, brunch, lunch swims, hot girl walks, saunas, 0:07:34.080 --> 0:07:37.400 dinner dates, full degastations. I've done it all. You ain't 0:07:37.400 --> 0:07:39.280 passionate at the end of a hot girl walk. What's 0:07:39.320 --> 0:07:42.360 a guaranteed pash dinner in the dark. You can't even 0:07:42.440 --> 0:07:47.760 do daylight savings. Got to be like the sun start, yeah, 0:07:47.760 --> 0:07:49.800 because you're not going to like mack on out in 0:07:49.840 --> 0:07:51.679 the daylight, right, alex Well you heard it here first, 0:07:51.960 --> 0:07:52.320 let us. 0:07:52.280 --> 0:07:53.760 Know how it goes. I genuinely want to know if 0:07:53.760 --> 0:07:54.800 this eventuates. 0:07:55.080 --> 0:07:57.040 Okay, I will, I will take good guys. 0:07:57.240 --> 0:07:58.720 Thanks, so they call Alex. 0:08:00.160 --> 0:08:03.800 Now, we had something really exciting that happened today on 0:08:03.880 --> 0:08:06.640 Life onun Cut podcast. And you and I have been 0:08:06.640 --> 0:08:08.040 doing the pod for the last. 0:08:07.800 --> 0:08:10.920 Six years, and like nearly eight hundred episodes or some 0:08:11.000 --> 0:08:13.680 booth years of our life have been dedicated. 0:08:13.720 --> 0:08:17.400 Okay, well, you've been dedicated to having like really amazing conversations, 0:08:17.400 --> 0:08:19.640 some of them very silly, some of them very You know, 0:08:19.720 --> 0:08:22.360 we've learnt so much over the years in what we've done. 0:08:22.600 --> 0:08:24.000 The reason why what I'm about to tell you is 0:08:24.040 --> 0:08:26.400 so exciting is because we've branched out from just doing 0:08:26.440 --> 0:08:29.560 Life on Cut. We've created Life un Cut Productions. And 0:08:29.640 --> 0:08:32.720 as of that, we have our very first ten part 0:08:32.840 --> 0:08:33.800 mini series that has. 0:08:33.800 --> 0:08:36.040 Launched and is called Cloud Now. 0:08:36.200 --> 0:08:40.080 The person behind that mini series is our incredible executive 0:08:40.120 --> 0:08:42.679 producer of Life on Cut, Keisha Pettitt, who, for anyone 0:08:42.679 --> 0:08:44.680 who's a listener of the pod will already be familiar 0:08:44.679 --> 0:08:48.439 with Keisha's voice. Keisha, welcome to the pick up, and 0:08:48.600 --> 0:08:50.400 I'd love to talk a little bit with you about 0:08:50.400 --> 0:08:52.480 Cloud and why this project was so important to you 0:08:52.520 --> 0:08:55.200 in creating Thank You. I've just realized that I think 0:08:55.240 --> 0:08:57.160 this is my first time on your radio show, which 0:08:57.240 --> 0:08:59.840 I can't quite believe, which is weird because You've been 0:09:00.120 --> 0:09:02.480 does now for four years pretty much, I've in a 0:09:02.480 --> 0:09:03.680 long term relationship. 0:09:03.760 --> 0:09:07.920 But what Cloud is we created essentially, I mean, I'm 0:09:07.960 --> 0:09:10.520 sure there's a lot of conversation at the moment. There's 0:09:10.520 --> 0:09:12.440 a lot of social media at the moment about the 0:09:12.440 --> 0:09:16.559 fact that everyone's being diagnosed with ADHD, and particularly there 0:09:16.600 --> 0:09:19.600 seems to be this set of women who, like myself, 0:09:19.960 --> 0:09:21.640 find out much later in life, and we call that 0:09:21.760 --> 0:09:24.680 late age diagnosis. And so for a lot of us, 0:09:24.800 --> 0:09:27.480 there's been this thing that's kind of existed for our 0:09:27.520 --> 0:09:29.760 whole lives and we haven't really known what it was 0:09:29.880 --> 0:09:31.680 and why we felt a little bit different and maybe 0:09:31.679 --> 0:09:35.000 why our brains were wired slightly differently. And now we 0:09:35.120 --> 0:09:36.080 have that moment kind. 0:09:36.000 --> 0:09:38.199 Of that revelation of oh, that's what it is. 0:09:38.960 --> 0:09:41.440 And I found that a lot of the conversation that 0:09:41.559 --> 0:09:45.560 exists already are podcasts or maybe like YouTube series or 0:09:45.559 --> 0:09:50.080 social media content about this is what ADHD is, or 0:09:50.400 --> 0:09:52.280 this is how you could recognize it in a loved 0:09:52.320 --> 0:09:54.240 one and how you can kind of adapt to it. 0:09:54.640 --> 0:09:56.640 And where I kind of realized that there was this 0:09:56.760 --> 0:09:59.760 gap was after I got my diagnosis and I kind 0:09:59.800 --> 0:10:02.560 of learnt about what caused ADHD and some of the 0:10:02.559 --> 0:10:07.559 behavioral symptoms or characteristics. I was kind of a bit like, Okay, 0:10:07.800 --> 0:10:11.200 but what now, Like we have the information about what 0:10:11.240 --> 0:10:13.840 it is and how we might be different, but how 0:10:13.880 --> 0:10:17.560 am I able to kind of take that information and 0:10:17.640 --> 0:10:19.600 make it help myself? Like how am I able to 0:10:19.640 --> 0:10:21.320 give myself a more fulfilled life? 0:10:21.400 --> 0:10:23.160 Yeah? And the interesting thing is, I mean we've talked 0:10:23.160 --> 0:10:24.960 about it a bit before, but there are so many 0:10:25.000 --> 0:10:27.719 celebrities at the moment who have come out speaking about ADHD. 0:10:28.040 --> 0:10:31.240 Celeste Barber, Julia Morris just talked about it on I'm 0:10:31.240 --> 0:10:34.319 a celebrity, like which two years ago or five years 0:10:34.360 --> 0:10:37.000 ago that was never being discussed. Mea Friedman who has 0:10:37.080 --> 0:10:39.400 mum and mea when the examples that we have in 0:10:39.480 --> 0:10:42.200 media are all these incredibly successful women. I think it 0:10:42.240 --> 0:10:44.280 shows just one dynamic of what that looks like. 0:10:44.520 --> 0:10:47.000 And you've got some really incredible guests you're talking to 0:10:47.240 --> 0:10:49.120 along the series, who are some of those people. 0:10:49.400 --> 0:10:51.600 We spoke with people like Mark Manson, who is the 0:10:51.640 --> 0:10:53.040 author of The Subtle Art of Not. 0:10:53.040 --> 0:10:57.680 Giving a Pew New York Times bestselling author. 0:10:57.840 --> 0:11:00.559 Yeah, we spoke with that, Johann Hari who wrote Stole 0:11:00.600 --> 0:11:03.200 and Focus. We spoke with neuroscientist TJ. 0:11:03.400 --> 0:11:03.760 Power. 0:11:04.080 --> 0:11:06.840 We have a psychiatrist named doctor Keren Kennedy during the podcast, 0:11:06.880 --> 0:11:09.720 and a bunch of relationship experts and other late age 0:11:09.720 --> 0:11:10.960 diagnosed women in Australia. 0:11:11.160 --> 0:11:12.800 Kish, Why do you think it's the case that so 0:11:12.840 --> 0:11:14.520 many women are diagnosed so late? 0:11:15.080 --> 0:11:17.160 A couple of reasons, but the main one is the 0:11:17.200 --> 0:11:20.080 fact that our understandings of ADHD have evolved a lot, 0:11:20.120 --> 0:11:22.560 particularly if you fall into the inattentive side. So that 0:11:22.640 --> 0:11:24.600 was kind of off with the fairies rather than the 0:11:24.679 --> 0:11:27.520 boisterous like I'm going to be crazy kid. Yeah yeah, 0:11:27.559 --> 0:11:30.160 And so that has increased a lot, and with that 0:11:30.280 --> 0:11:32.760 is a bit of exposure. But I think also just 0:11:32.760 --> 0:11:35.480 the fact that so many more women in particular are 0:11:35.480 --> 0:11:37.240 coming out and speaking about it in the sense where 0:11:37.280 --> 0:11:40.520 they're like, I felt so burnt out and I was 0:11:40.559 --> 0:11:43.920 so overwhelmed, and I was so exhausted, and now that 0:11:43.960 --> 0:11:45.840 I've realized what it is, and I'm able to kind 0:11:45.880 --> 0:11:48.040 of help myself. I'm able to lift myself out of 0:11:48.080 --> 0:11:51.880 that place. And I truly actually think that that's probably 0:11:51.960 --> 0:11:54.760 why there's so many people relating to it, connecting to 0:11:54.800 --> 0:11:56.680 it and going I want to feel better. It's a 0:11:56.720 --> 0:11:59.680 genetic condition, so it's existed for a very long time, 0:12:00.000 --> 0:12:03.120 and I just wonder whether if I had lived through 0:12:03.120 --> 0:12:05.640 a time where there was an exposure of this. I 0:12:05.679 --> 0:12:07.000 was twenty nine when I found out. 0:12:07.160 --> 0:12:08.640 You would have never known that's what it was. 0:12:08.840 --> 0:12:11.400 How much older could I have been, and you know, 0:12:11.440 --> 0:12:13.040 my life could have been a lot easier. I guess 0:12:13.120 --> 0:12:15.160 that's why I'm so stoked that this gets to go 0:12:15.200 --> 0:12:16.760 out in the world now, because I hope it helps 0:12:16.800 --> 0:12:20.199 people realize that you don't necessarily have to be living 0:12:20.240 --> 0:12:23.520 with that fog, and whether that's through medication or through 0:12:23.520 --> 0:12:26.640 lifestyle changes, there is like a lot of light on 0:12:26.679 --> 0:12:27.520 the other side of it. 0:12:27.720 --> 0:12:27.880 Well. 0:12:27.920 --> 0:12:30.920 It is such an incredible podcast series, and like I said, 0:12:30.920 --> 0:12:33.000 it's only a ten parts a mini series. It is 0:12:33.040 --> 0:12:35.680 called Cloud and episode one and two were out today. 0:12:35.720 --> 0:12:37.960 So wherever you listen to your podcast, go and have 0:12:38.040 --> 0:12:40.760 a listen to it. If you yourself have ADHD. If 0:12:40.800 --> 0:12:43.200 you've seen the stuff on social media and thought, hey, 0:12:43.240 --> 0:12:45.240 maybe that's me, or you've got a love one or 0:12:45.240 --> 0:12:47.240 someone in your life who has ADHD, I think it'll 0:12:47.280 --> 0:12:48.840 be such a valuable tool to listen to. 0:12:50.480 --> 0:12:53.480 Okay, there's something I want to discuss that is really 0:12:53.679 --> 0:12:57.240 setting me off from Maps, Like, I'm quite angry about it. 0:12:57.440 --> 0:12:59.760 Shocked. I feel like you're always angry about Maths. 0:13:00.200 --> 0:13:02.760 I really am, and I realized why I never really 0:13:02.880 --> 0:13:03.720 enjoyed watching it. 0:13:04.160 --> 0:13:06.760 Updates her status on Facebook angry about Maths. 0:13:06.640 --> 0:13:08.320 Facebook, MSN Messenger. 0:13:09.080 --> 0:13:11.040 Well, if you haven't watched Maths, they do this one 0:13:11.040 --> 0:13:13.840 thing every season. It's like the photo ranking challenge. And 0:13:13.960 --> 0:13:16.400 if you did listen to us last week, we did 0:13:16.440 --> 0:13:19.600 speak to the relationship professional John Aiken. He came on 0:13:19.640 --> 0:13:22.080 the show and we spoke about this exact thing, the 0:13:22.200 --> 0:13:26.440 ranking of your partners. So basically, every groom in the 0:13:26.440 --> 0:13:28.880 show has to rank their bride where they think they 0:13:28.880 --> 0:13:30.440 are in like level of attractiveness. 0:13:30.440 --> 0:13:31.240 It's pretty cool. 0:13:31.360 --> 0:13:33.720 Yeah, and every bride ranks their groom. It's a staple 0:13:33.800 --> 0:13:35.360 of the show. It's a fan favorite. 0:13:35.480 --> 0:13:37.880 But the bride's are usually nicer like this seems to 0:13:37.960 --> 0:13:39.920 be a trend that the grooms are doing. And I 0:13:39.920 --> 0:13:42.240 don't want to say the brides are never nasty, but 0:13:42.320 --> 0:13:45.240 it seems to be very skewed to the men being I. 0:13:45.280 --> 0:13:48.760 Think it's because this is probably a very blanket stereotypical statement. 0:13:48.800 --> 0:13:50.120 So I'm sorry to all the men in the car, 0:13:50.400 --> 0:13:52.440 but I think that women have a more of a 0:13:52.480 --> 0:13:54.280 tendency to want to people please, and we have a 0:13:54.320 --> 0:13:56.560 bit of a higher eq. So even if we don't 0:13:56.600 --> 0:13:58.400 think that our partners are the hottest, we'll just do 0:13:58.440 --> 0:14:00.440 it because we know that that's gonna save a lot 0:14:00.480 --> 0:14:02.080 of arguments and a lot of hurt feelings. 0:14:02.200 --> 0:14:04.480 Well, in a nutshell, what I want to talk about 0:14:04.600 --> 0:14:08.600 is this idea of honesty being weaponized. So what they're 0:14:08.640 --> 0:14:11.960 saying is they're using honesty. I'm just speaking my truth. 0:14:12.000 --> 0:14:14.120 I'm just telling you how I feel like I should 0:14:14.120 --> 0:14:16.199 be allowed to do that. They're using that as an 0:14:16.200 --> 0:14:19.000 excuse to be a holes. This is what I think, 0:14:19.320 --> 0:14:22.000 And it comes down to this question of the worst 0:14:22.000 --> 0:14:24.800 thing that used to happen in a relationship was lying, 0:14:24.920 --> 0:14:27.080 right Like, you hated if your partner lied to me, 0:14:27.200 --> 0:14:28.960 and you always said, just tell me the truth. 0:14:29.480 --> 0:14:32.120 But I think there needs to be a level to that, because. 0:14:31.840 --> 0:14:34.360 Now these men are like, yeah, I put my bride's seventh, 0:14:34.400 --> 0:14:35.440 I'm not attracted to you. 0:14:35.480 --> 0:14:38.040 I would much prefer that bride. Hey, I'm just speaking 0:14:38.080 --> 0:14:38.640 my truth. 0:14:38.760 --> 0:14:41.000 I think it is a pretty juvenile think to think 0:14:41.040 --> 0:14:44.360 that honesty is the most important thing. And absolutely you 0:14:44.400 --> 0:14:46.400 want your partner to be honest, but you don't want 0:14:46.400 --> 0:14:49.920 your partner to be honest to you at the expense. 0:14:49.440 --> 0:14:50.960 Of just being cruel and mean. 0:14:51.440 --> 0:14:53.160 And I say this because when I was in my 0:14:53.280 --> 0:14:55.880 very first long term relationship, like we met when I 0:14:55.920 --> 0:14:59.040 was like eighteen years old, he struggled with quite a few. 0:14:58.840 --> 0:14:59.640 Of his own demons. 0:14:59.640 --> 0:15:01.640 So I don't want to just completely villainize the guy, 0:15:01.680 --> 0:15:04.680 because he is a good guy, but he would be 0:15:05.680 --> 0:15:08.120 so mean. He would tell me that I was annoying. 0:15:08.360 --> 0:15:10.000 He would tell me that I was too loud, that 0:15:10.040 --> 0:15:12.040 he didn't want to He would come home some days 0:15:12.040 --> 0:15:13.120 from work and we lived together. 0:15:13.160 --> 0:15:14.280 We were together for six years. 0:15:14.520 --> 0:15:15.960 He wouldn't speak to me, and he would tell me 0:15:16.000 --> 0:15:17.560 it was because he couldn't be bothered to speak to me. 0:15:18.120 --> 0:15:20.600 And I accepted all of that because he would then 0:15:20.640 --> 0:15:22.840 turn around and be like, I'm just being honest, you 0:15:22.880 --> 0:15:25.080 can't be angry at me because I'm speaking my truth. 0:15:25.440 --> 0:15:29.120 And this idea of speaking your truth regardless of the 0:15:29.160 --> 0:15:31.240 impact it has on the person that you're speaking it to, 0:15:31.720 --> 0:15:33.440 I think it's just a really cruel way to treat 0:15:33.440 --> 0:15:35.320 someone that you love. But at the time, I was like, 0:15:35.840 --> 0:15:37.560 I can't be mad at him. He's told me how 0:15:37.600 --> 0:15:39.960 he feels, and I need to support this. Maybe I 0:15:40.040 --> 0:15:42.600 am being annoying, and so I would try, and I 0:15:42.640 --> 0:15:46.000 was like walking on eggshells in my own home. I 0:15:46.040 --> 0:15:47.960 would come home and I would cook him dinner, and 0:15:47.960 --> 0:15:49.840 I would try and be quiet, and I'd try and 0:15:49.840 --> 0:15:51.720 be the version of this person that he wanted me 0:15:51.800 --> 0:15:54.920 to do, because him telling his truth just meant that 0:15:54.960 --> 0:15:57.480 I wasn't right for him, I wasn't good enough for him. 0:15:57.520 --> 0:16:00.200 But it's also a manipulation tact. One hundred percent. You 0:16:00.240 --> 0:16:02.400 couldn't have been that annoying. He stayed for six years, 0:16:02.640 --> 0:16:05.440 but what he did, guess mean to me he did get. 0:16:05.280 --> 0:16:08.400 A more subdued partner than cooked for him and wanted 0:16:08.400 --> 0:16:09.520 to do everything for him. 0:16:09.560 --> 0:16:12.080 So it just really frustrates me. I don't know if 0:16:12.080 --> 0:16:14.080 you can hear angry in my voice. I hope he's 0:16:14.120 --> 0:16:17.240 not listening. I don't think he cares. Who cares? He 0:16:17.360 --> 0:16:21.360 was a dick. Honesty is not always the best policy. 0:16:21.400 --> 0:16:21.640