WEBVTT - Shark-week in Fiji

0:00:00.360 --> 0:00:03.360
<v Speaker 1>Have you ever been for a run and midway through

0:00:03.360 --> 0:00:05.920
<v Speaker 1>the run, thought I'm going to do a shit right now.

0:00:06.480 --> 0:00:10.160
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, it's something about running that compresses.

0:00:09.400 --> 0:00:12.240
<v Speaker 1>It, doesn't it right? And you start. I always I'm

0:00:12.240 --> 0:00:15.920
<v Speaker 1>a bit gassy on my runs. And then and then

0:00:16.239 --> 0:00:18.119
<v Speaker 1>I went for a run the other day and I

0:00:18.160 --> 0:00:20.640
<v Speaker 1>don't know if it's the fact that I've transitioned from

0:00:20.680 --> 0:00:25.120
<v Speaker 1>Fiji food to Aussie food, but I was like four

0:00:25.200 --> 0:00:28.400
<v Speaker 1>k's in and I was thinking, Fuck, I don't know

0:00:28.400 --> 0:00:31.360
<v Speaker 1>if I'm going to make it home or not. And

0:00:31.440 --> 0:00:33.680
<v Speaker 1>I was thinking, what am I going to do here?

0:00:34.560 --> 0:00:38.120
<v Speaker 1>Like what's my bush poo? What is my call of action?

0:00:38.320 --> 0:00:41.840
<v Speaker 1>I luckily you know when your body it knows there's

0:00:41.880 --> 0:00:43.600
<v Speaker 1>a toilet coming. And I saw.

0:00:43.400 --> 0:00:45.760
<v Speaker 2>Around It's like when you get to the front door, Like.

0:00:49.240 --> 0:00:53.680
<v Speaker 1>I saw a toilet in the park and I was like, okay,

0:00:53.920 --> 0:00:55.959
<v Speaker 1>we're on here. And I was like I was squeezing

0:00:56.000 --> 0:00:58.200
<v Speaker 1>the butt cheeks as much as I could, and there

0:00:58.280 --> 0:01:02.000
<v Speaker 1>was this old man was making his way also into

0:01:02.000 --> 0:01:05.680
<v Speaker 1>the toilet, and I was like running, sprinting.

0:01:05.840 --> 0:01:07.360
<v Speaker 2>Get the fuck out of the way.

0:01:08.480 --> 0:01:11.760
<v Speaker 1>I cut in and I beat him and there's one

0:01:11.840 --> 0:01:15.280
<v Speaker 1>cubicle and I don't normally do this, but I just

0:01:16.319 --> 0:01:23.480
<v Speaker 1>I had to just relax and let gravity take control, because.

0:01:23.280 --> 0:01:25.679
<v Speaker 2>Usually what you do is you wait for either the

0:01:25.680 --> 0:01:27.760
<v Speaker 2>people in there to leave because you know it's going

0:01:27.840 --> 0:01:32.479
<v Speaker 2>to be noisy, or them to hit their hand drug and.

0:01:32.400 --> 0:01:37.720
<v Speaker 1>You're like, oh, it came out afterwards, and he was

0:01:37.760 --> 0:01:40.759
<v Speaker 1>standing there waiting and I was just like, it's yours. Sorry,

0:01:40.959 --> 0:01:45.320
<v Speaker 1>it didn't flash either, restarted the garment and quite a

0:01:45.360 --> 0:01:46.040
<v Speaker 1>good pace.

0:01:45.840 --> 0:02:05.160
<v Speaker 3>Home, really unloaded the carver.

0:02:07.160 --> 0:02:10.799
<v Speaker 1>Welcome back to Two Day Dads, Iron Mattie Jay and

0:02:10.840 --> 0:02:14.280
<v Speaker 1>this is a podcast that happens to be all about parenting.

0:02:14.000 --> 0:02:16.120
<v Speaker 2>The good, the bad, and the relatable.

0:02:16.240 --> 0:02:19.480
<v Speaker 1>And as always, there is no advice being given, a

0:02:19.600 --> 0:02:23.680
<v Speaker 1>real advice sometimes advice accidental. Nine percent of the time

0:02:23.880 --> 0:02:27.280
<v Speaker 1>no advice. There may be like one rand nugget that

0:02:27.320 --> 0:02:30.440
<v Speaker 1>will pop up that not even ash and I knew.

0:02:30.240 --> 0:02:31.000
<v Speaker 2>It was advice.

0:02:32.080 --> 0:02:32.520
<v Speaker 1>Ashton.

0:02:33.080 --> 0:02:35.160
<v Speaker 2>Yes, Matthew, something a little bit different.

0:02:35.320 --> 0:02:37.519
<v Speaker 1>This morning. We are going to crack a better beer.

0:02:37.520 --> 0:02:42.040
<v Speaker 1>But we're doing it for a very special reason. They

0:02:42.120 --> 0:02:45.000
<v Speaker 1>call it, well, it's the ultimate treasure hunt this month.

0:02:45.000 --> 0:02:46.600
<v Speaker 1>And you know you love a treasure hunt, ash more

0:02:46.639 --> 0:02:49.639
<v Speaker 1>than anybody love it. And you know you're not doing

0:02:49.720 --> 0:02:55.440
<v Speaker 1>dry July. You also are currently still unemployed, is that right?

0:02:55.480 --> 0:02:58.920
<v Speaker 2>So this is my job now, my job, this is

0:02:59.000 --> 0:03:00.040
<v Speaker 2>right up your alley.

0:03:00.000 --> 0:03:00.679
<v Speaker 4>Exactly right.

0:03:00.720 --> 0:03:04.920
<v Speaker 2>And they've hidden two bitcoins in especially Mark cases from

0:03:05.000 --> 0:03:09.680
<v Speaker 2>Dan Murphy's and BWS of the zero Carb original better Beard.

0:03:09.720 --> 0:03:11.919
<v Speaker 1>Now, I just I hate the fact that I've gone,

0:03:12.080 --> 0:03:14.400
<v Speaker 1>I'm still doing dry July. So I've got I've got

0:03:14.400 --> 0:03:16.280
<v Speaker 1>the zero out, which is that's not in the running.

0:03:16.360 --> 0:03:17.320
<v Speaker 1>It's just just.

0:03:17.280 --> 0:03:20.880
<v Speaker 2>The original, right which you've got zero carb yep, yep. Yeah,

0:03:20.919 --> 0:03:24.600
<v Speaker 2>So especially Mark pact, they've hidden two bitcoins. Okay, I

0:03:24.600 --> 0:03:26.840
<v Speaker 2>don't know how they've hidden them in there. I mean bitcoin,

0:03:27.800 --> 0:03:29.520
<v Speaker 2>it's not a physical currency.

0:03:29.639 --> 0:03:31.800
<v Speaker 1>We asked for details and they wouldn't tell us. I

0:03:31.800 --> 0:03:33.600
<v Speaker 1>think partly because they thought that we were going to

0:03:33.600 --> 0:03:34.639
<v Speaker 1>try and it's not.

0:03:34.600 --> 0:03:36.400
<v Speaker 2>Going to be like one of those silly worm cans

0:03:36.440 --> 0:03:41.760
<v Speaker 2>where you crack it and like the They're like, I'm

0:03:41.800 --> 0:03:44.720
<v Speaker 2>not sure, but they're worth about forty five thousand dollars

0:03:44.720 --> 0:03:45.760
<v Speaker 2>each at the moment.

0:03:45.560 --> 0:03:47.640
<v Speaker 1>And they say that when you open it, they said,

0:03:47.680 --> 0:03:50.160
<v Speaker 1>you will know that's obvious.

0:03:50.200 --> 0:03:54.480
<v Speaker 2>You will know best to also check the t's and c's. Now,

0:03:54.600 --> 0:03:59.480
<v Speaker 2>Unfortunately the Nanny States aren't involved. That's South Australia Act

0:03:59.720 --> 0:04:00.920
<v Speaker 2>and the Northern Territory.

0:04:01.200 --> 0:04:04.600
<v Speaker 5>Sorry about that, guys sucked in.

0:04:03.440 --> 0:04:09.840
<v Speaker 2>Now I have a original here from especially Mark case.

0:04:09.880 --> 0:04:12.480
<v Speaker 1>Okay, so we got to Can I just confirm if

0:04:12.520 --> 0:04:14.600
<v Speaker 1>you crack that and you have a bitcoin in it?

0:04:14.680 --> 0:04:16.560
<v Speaker 1>Are we going fifty to fifty? Your house is going

0:04:16.640 --> 0:04:16.880
<v Speaker 1>to work?

0:04:16.960 --> 0:04:19.560
<v Speaker 2>Tell no, because if I go fifteen to fifty threers,

0:04:19.600 --> 0:04:20.360
<v Speaker 2>I'm going to get home.

0:04:20.360 --> 0:04:22.039
<v Speaker 4>I've got to go fifty to fifty with my wife

0:04:22.040 --> 0:04:22.760
<v Speaker 4>with what's left.

0:04:22.800 --> 0:04:23.600
<v Speaker 1>Don't tell her.

0:04:24.400 --> 0:04:25.080
<v Speaker 2>She's gonna hear that.

0:04:25.480 --> 0:04:30.839
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, we're just okay, fuck all right, you met April.

0:04:30.839 --> 0:04:31.600
<v Speaker 1>We're going thirds.

0:04:31.720 --> 0:04:35.680
<v Speaker 2>Laura doesn't need the money.

0:04:35.800 --> 0:04:41.719
<v Speaker 1>Here we go, is it? Okay?

0:04:41.760 --> 0:04:44.640
<v Speaker 2>Man? Technically I'm still winning because it's ten am on

0:04:44.680 --> 0:04:45.320
<v Speaker 2>a Monday morning.

0:04:45.880 --> 0:04:48.400
<v Speaker 1>Hope open another one. We're not leaving here. We're not

0:04:48.480 --> 0:04:50.119
<v Speaker 1>leaving here until you finish the whole case.

0:04:50.400 --> 0:04:52.880
<v Speaker 2>Okay, beautiful.

0:04:53.040 --> 0:04:56.279
<v Speaker 1>I do have to say only for the month of July. Yes,

0:04:56.600 --> 0:04:58.120
<v Speaker 1>those playing at home July, and.

0:04:58.040 --> 0:04:59.839
<v Speaker 2>Yes, drink responsibly. Of course.

0:05:00.440 --> 0:05:02.400
<v Speaker 4>You can check out the website better bee dot.

0:05:02.240 --> 0:05:04.240
<v Speaker 2>Com dot are you get the full teas and c's

0:05:04.640 --> 0:05:07.680
<v Speaker 2>find the bottle shop near you, BWS d is. Let's

0:05:07.680 --> 0:05:10.000
<v Speaker 2>get into the episode, let's get stuck in passion.

0:05:10.120 --> 0:05:12.080
<v Speaker 1>Is good to see you, mate. I know I missed you.

0:05:12.279 --> 0:05:13.840
<v Speaker 2>I know you've been on holda I've been on your

0:05:13.839 --> 0:05:15.080
<v Speaker 2>honeymoon with your kids.

0:05:15.360 --> 0:05:17.960
<v Speaker 1>Did you you miss me?

0:05:18.320 --> 0:05:18.560
<v Speaker 2>Sure?

0:05:18.800 --> 0:05:20.360
<v Speaker 1>Well, you fucking messaged me enough.

0:05:20.520 --> 0:05:23.359
<v Speaker 2>I messaged you and rang you enough, and well, look,

0:05:23.720 --> 0:05:26.880
<v Speaker 2>always in the marketplace, things never stop. Just because you're

0:05:26.920 --> 0:05:28.919
<v Speaker 2>on holidays doesn't mean the rest of the world is.

0:05:29.320 --> 0:05:32.200
<v Speaker 2>But I did want to bring something up. Now, you

0:05:32.240 --> 0:05:35.400
<v Speaker 2>were on your honeymoon, but also on your honeymoon, you

0:05:35.440 --> 0:05:39.760
<v Speaker 2>had your birthday, and I missed the opportunity to have

0:05:39.839 --> 0:05:41.160
<v Speaker 2>a bee with you on your birth I have a

0:05:41.160 --> 0:05:43.200
<v Speaker 2>bee with you now, yours is a zero HOURC And

0:05:44.240 --> 0:05:47.039
<v Speaker 2>I thought, what am I going to get? What do

0:05:47.120 --> 0:05:49.359
<v Speaker 2>I get the man who has everything for his birthday?

0:05:50.440 --> 0:05:52.680
<v Speaker 1>And you know you didn't have to get me anything.

0:05:52.839 --> 0:05:55.279
<v Speaker 2>I've been doing some digging, did some digging. I found

0:05:55.320 --> 0:05:59.880
<v Speaker 2>out from your lovely wife that your favorite actress is

0:06:00.080 --> 0:06:00.839
<v Speaker 2>Nicole Kidman.

0:06:01.880 --> 0:06:06.120
<v Speaker 1>It's not true. Did you say that?

0:06:07.040 --> 0:06:10.040
<v Speaker 2>Yes? But I thought, what do I get the man

0:06:10.080 --> 0:06:13.640
<v Speaker 2>who has everything? And I thought I'd love to get

0:06:13.680 --> 0:06:19.600
<v Speaker 2>a personalized message from Nicole Kidman. Matthew. Now, Nicle Kidmen's

0:06:19.600 --> 0:06:22.800
<v Speaker 2>a very busy lady, a lot, she's got a lot.

0:06:22.680 --> 0:06:24.120
<v Speaker 4>On, so she's outsourced it.

0:06:25.160 --> 0:06:28.839
<v Speaker 2>She's outsourced my request and I've managed to get you

0:06:29.279 --> 0:06:32.440
<v Speaker 2>what I think he is a very very good birthday present.

0:06:32.760 --> 0:06:35.240
<v Speaker 4>So if you'd like to press play on that one, Matthew.

0:06:38.120 --> 0:06:38.440
<v Speaker 1>The.

0:06:41.160 --> 0:07:02.800
<v Speaker 6>Happy Bethday mag G love from your favorite actress, Nicole Kidman.

0:07:13.000 --> 0:07:14.240
<v Speaker 4>Happy Birthday mate.

0:07:14.840 --> 0:07:15.160
<v Speaker 1>Wow.

0:07:15.600 --> 0:07:17.640
<v Speaker 2>I told you she's a busy lady, So for her

0:07:17.680 --> 0:07:21.000
<v Speaker 2>to actually book that in and get that personalized for you.

0:07:21.840 --> 0:07:26.880
<v Speaker 1>I'm speechless. You have really outdone yourself here. How much

0:07:26.880 --> 0:07:27.680
<v Speaker 1>should that cost?

0:07:28.440 --> 0:07:30.440
<v Speaker 2>Priceless priceless memories?

0:07:30.480 --> 0:07:31.680
<v Speaker 1>What is it like fifty bucks?

0:07:31.680 --> 0:07:33.320
<v Speaker 2>What do you find that something like that?

0:07:33.320 --> 0:07:36.120
<v Speaker 1>That's what I'm touched.

0:07:35.640 --> 0:07:37.320
<v Speaker 2>I didn't know you were such a big fan of

0:07:37.360 --> 0:07:42.480
<v Speaker 2>Nicle Kidman. I hate her.

0:07:44.040 --> 0:07:47.720
<v Speaker 1>Every movie that has Nicole Kidman is just Nicole Kidman

0:07:47.920 --> 0:07:48.680
<v Speaker 1>playing a character.

0:07:48.760 --> 0:07:53.480
<v Speaker 2>She's never the character. But if Nicole, she's an Australian sweetheart,

0:07:53.480 --> 0:07:56.640
<v Speaker 2>and you hate an Australian sweetheart. And I said to Laura,

0:07:56.720 --> 0:07:57.400
<v Speaker 2>I said.

0:07:57.440 --> 0:07:58.520
<v Speaker 4>Who does he hate?

0:07:58.920 --> 0:08:01.520
<v Speaker 2>And she has to go to someone, so uber famous

0:08:01.600 --> 0:08:03.880
<v Speaker 2>that it's never going to happen and ruin my plan?

0:08:04.080 --> 0:08:04.760
<v Speaker 1>Did you message it?

0:08:05.480 --> 0:08:09.720
<v Speaker 2>No? I just messaged the African dancers and they were like,

0:08:09.760 --> 0:08:10.680
<v Speaker 2>we'll do it.

0:08:10.360 --> 0:08:12.520
<v Speaker 1>What's that on? How do you even booked them?

0:08:12.640 --> 0:08:15.080
<v Speaker 2>It's top secret. They're close friends of mine.

0:08:15.200 --> 0:08:17.480
<v Speaker 1>Very good, all topless, all topless?

0:08:17.880 --> 0:08:19.239
<v Speaker 4>Also is the photo of you?

0:08:19.360 --> 0:08:21.800
<v Speaker 1>Yeah? Do you reckon? They were like, what the fuck

0:08:21.960 --> 0:08:22.320
<v Speaker 1>is this?

0:08:22.800 --> 0:08:25.520
<v Speaker 2>Probably when they saw Nicole Kimmen they were like, probably

0:08:25.560 --> 0:08:26.480
<v Speaker 2>put it in their like.

0:08:26.560 --> 0:08:29.520
<v Speaker 4>Portfolio of famous p people who have booked them.

0:08:29.840 --> 0:08:31.640
<v Speaker 2>So I've done a few people favors here.

0:08:32.240 --> 0:08:34.760
<v Speaker 1>Do you request them to include the photo or is

0:08:34.800 --> 0:08:35.840
<v Speaker 1>that part of the package.

0:08:36.440 --> 0:08:38.760
<v Speaker 2>That's part of the package. Love that and thank you

0:08:38.880 --> 0:08:39.960
<v Speaker 2>Keish for the photo.

0:08:40.960 --> 0:08:42.160
<v Speaker 1>What month is your birthday?

0:08:42.720 --> 0:08:46.280
<v Speaker 2>I'm not telling I fucking tell us because I did

0:08:46.320 --> 0:08:50.319
<v Speaker 2>the research on you. I even chat GPT and it

0:08:50.360 --> 0:08:53.440
<v Speaker 2>gave me the wrong date. Remember it's had me April.

0:08:53.000 --> 0:08:55.640
<v Speaker 4>My definitely wasn't you am?

0:08:55.679 --> 0:08:59.079
<v Speaker 1>I are? We am? I close? I've got three four months.

0:08:58.920 --> 0:09:00.360
<v Speaker 2>Where you're very clause.

0:09:00.480 --> 0:09:03.280
<v Speaker 1>Give me all yours is coming up? Okay? Who is

0:09:03.320 --> 0:09:04.160
<v Speaker 1>your favorite actor?

0:09:04.800 --> 0:09:07.040
<v Speaker 2>Oh got to be Steve Carrell.

0:09:10.600 --> 0:09:10.880
<v Speaker 1>Leave it.

0:09:10.880 --> 0:09:12.280
<v Speaker 2>We got a lot of work to do my friend

0:09:12.360 --> 0:09:14.600
<v Speaker 2>believe it anyway, happy birthday.

0:09:14.920 --> 0:09:17.240
<v Speaker 4>I was going to get them to say happy fortieth birthday.

0:09:17.559 --> 0:09:20.240
<v Speaker 2>I thought that might be a bit of a dig, a.

0:09:20.240 --> 0:09:23.559
<v Speaker 1>Little prank start. Why why didn't you do that? What

0:09:23.679 --> 0:09:24.280
<v Speaker 1>made you stop?

0:09:24.920 --> 0:09:25.920
<v Speaker 2>I was drunk and I forgot?

0:09:30.520 --> 0:09:30.960
<v Speaker 1>Well, thank you.

0:09:31.040 --> 0:09:32.480
<v Speaker 2>It's classic move from me. Though.

0:09:32.600 --> 0:09:34.440
<v Speaker 1>It's good to be back. It's good to be back.

0:09:34.480 --> 0:09:35.800
<v Speaker 2>I think it was nice to have you back.

0:09:35.880 --> 0:09:38.040
<v Speaker 1>I think we had to the first two days of

0:09:38.080 --> 0:09:41.520
<v Speaker 1>the trip, we didn't really speak, and then I think

0:09:41.559 --> 0:09:45.520
<v Speaker 1>we spoke pretty much every couple of hours after that.

0:09:45.600 --> 0:09:46.200
<v Speaker 4>What's happening?

0:09:46.400 --> 0:09:48.400
<v Speaker 1>Laura would always be like, I'd have like a little

0:09:48.440 --> 0:09:50.680
<v Speaker 1>like sneaker to myself as I was looking at my phone,

0:09:50.960 --> 0:09:56.640
<v Speaker 1>and then Laura's like, is that Ash, who are you messaging? Yeah?

0:09:56.679 --> 0:09:59.960
<v Speaker 2>Yep, but it's it was good, a good trip, trip,

0:10:00.160 --> 0:10:03.200
<v Speaker 2>good look, I mean, I mean, Fiji's beautiful.

0:10:03.480 --> 0:10:05.760
<v Speaker 1>Fiji is lovely, Ash.

0:10:05.800 --> 0:10:07.760
<v Speaker 2>It really is not too far away.

0:10:09.040 --> 0:10:13.000
<v Speaker 1>For our flight, which is just the absolute dream. Before

0:10:13.440 --> 0:10:15.840
<v Speaker 1>before we went on the trip, Laura was, you know,

0:10:15.920 --> 0:10:18.640
<v Speaker 1>she was very excited. It's a honeymoon, okay, And like

0:10:18.679 --> 0:10:20.400
<v Speaker 1>all good honeymoons, you want to have a bit of

0:10:20.440 --> 0:10:24.760
<v Speaker 1>sexy time, oh yeah. And both Laura and myself extremely

0:10:24.880 --> 0:10:27.240
<v Speaker 1>busy in a couple of weeks leading up to the

0:10:27.360 --> 0:10:31.280
<v Speaker 1>date that we left. So you know, for us pre trip.

0:10:31.320 --> 0:10:34.000
<v Speaker 2>No sexy time, just dancing with the stars.

0:10:34.000 --> 0:10:36.520
<v Speaker 1>We couldn't get dancing with the stars was the priority,

0:10:36.800 --> 0:10:39.040
<v Speaker 1>and so me and Laura were like, Hey, when we

0:10:39.080 --> 0:10:40.640
<v Speaker 1>get to Fiji, we're gonna.

0:10:40.559 --> 0:10:42.560
<v Speaker 2>Lock the kids in a cupboard somewhere.

0:10:42.640 --> 0:10:43.880
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, we're gonna get it on.

0:10:44.120 --> 0:10:45.640
<v Speaker 2>We'll only been there for a couple of minutes, so it's.

0:10:47.160 --> 0:10:49.880
<v Speaker 1>Maybe six seven at the absolute most. But Laura and

0:10:49.920 --> 0:10:52.720
<v Speaker 1>I were thinking, we're going to have like daytime sex.

0:10:52.720 --> 0:10:55.320
<v Speaker 1>We're gonna have sex, you know, like in the bedroom,

0:10:55.360 --> 0:10:57.000
<v Speaker 1>we're gonna have We're going to check in and at

0:10:57.040 --> 0:10:59.520
<v Speaker 1>reception pretty much have sex there. Like we're just going

0:10:59.600 --> 0:11:03.720
<v Speaker 1>to the whole time. We're like, yeah, oh my gosh.

0:11:03.760 --> 0:11:06.640
<v Speaker 1>And we've got we've got this great little infinity pool

0:11:06.720 --> 0:11:08.760
<v Speaker 1>and you know, maybe maybe we'll have a little frisker

0:11:08.800 --> 0:11:11.720
<v Speaker 1>session in there, who knows, who knows, But we're gonna

0:11:12.120 --> 0:11:14.360
<v Speaker 1>we're gonna make sure that we like work our way

0:11:14.400 --> 0:11:17.920
<v Speaker 1>around the island in the apartment, out outside the apartment,

0:11:18.200 --> 0:11:20.760
<v Speaker 1>and that was the plan. And we get on the

0:11:20.760 --> 0:11:23.800
<v Speaker 1>plane leaving Sydney and then Laura looks at me with

0:11:23.840 --> 0:11:28.120
<v Speaker 1>a really concerned expression on her face, and I was thinking, funk,

0:11:28.480 --> 0:11:30.600
<v Speaker 1>what have we forgotten? You know, what are we you

0:11:30.640 --> 0:11:32.959
<v Speaker 1>know what's going on? And she goes, I've got my period.

0:11:33.120 --> 0:11:36.160
<v Speaker 2>Oh my god, period.

0:11:35.640 --> 0:11:37.920
<v Speaker 1>Of day one of the trip.

0:11:38.320 --> 0:11:39.320
<v Speaker 2>Yeah.

0:11:39.400 --> 0:11:42.720
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, And I was like, Okay, it's such a buzz kill.

0:11:42.840 --> 0:11:43.880
<v Speaker 1>It's a bit of a buzz kill.

0:11:44.200 --> 0:11:48.080
<v Speaker 2>It sucks more for them. I should just add that

0:11:48.160 --> 0:11:50.440
<v Speaker 2>in there. But look, yeah, buzz kill.

0:11:51.080 --> 0:11:56.040
<v Speaker 1>But I was like, look, it's a small little bumper here. Yeah,

0:11:56.520 --> 0:11:59.040
<v Speaker 1>we're not going to let this ruin the true.

0:11:59.080 --> 0:12:00.200
<v Speaker 4>Jerk me out. It's fine.

0:12:02.800 --> 0:12:06.520
<v Speaker 1>But then but then we get to Fiji and we've

0:12:06.520 --> 0:12:09.640
<v Speaker 1>been watching the weather at the whole time. You know,

0:12:09.760 --> 0:12:12.280
<v Speaker 1>you're like, what's it going to be like weather? Yeah,

0:12:12.320 --> 0:12:15.840
<v Speaker 1>every second of the day. And it was beautiful, sunny

0:12:16.040 --> 0:12:19.280
<v Speaker 1>every single day. Well there tops of twenty nine ah

0:12:19.480 --> 0:12:23.600
<v Speaker 1>coming out of winter. Perfect day one. Because we land

0:12:23.640 --> 0:12:27.200
<v Speaker 1>in Fiji pretty late, like we get in just on sunset.

0:12:27.280 --> 0:12:31.280
<v Speaker 1>So next morning we wake up it's howling wind toweling,

0:12:31.480 --> 0:12:35.479
<v Speaker 1>it's fucking like twenty two degrees, which is not a disaster,

0:12:36.440 --> 0:12:39.080
<v Speaker 1>but it's just not you can't comfortably sit by the pool.

0:12:39.679 --> 0:12:40.439
<v Speaker 2>Too much wind.

0:12:40.520 --> 0:12:43.360
<v Speaker 1>Too much wind. You don't want wind on a honeymoon.

0:12:43.000 --> 0:12:45.400
<v Speaker 2>No period and win women hate wind.

0:12:46.200 --> 0:12:49.400
<v Speaker 1>Mate, myself included, Yeah, oh you got hair? Yeah mate,

0:12:49.440 --> 0:12:52.960
<v Speaker 1>this this thing. I want to be looking good. So

0:12:53.000 --> 0:12:54.679
<v Speaker 1>we're like, hey, this is fine, this is fine. I

0:12:54.720 --> 0:12:57.120
<v Speaker 1>drop the kids in kids club and we're like, we

0:12:57.160 --> 0:12:58.600
<v Speaker 1>can we can go for a sing by the pool.

0:12:59.320 --> 0:13:02.120
<v Speaker 1>No one is by the pool because it's just it's

0:13:02.160 --> 0:13:03.160
<v Speaker 1>not pool weather.

0:13:03.559 --> 0:13:06.160
<v Speaker 2>It's cyclone and the cyclone season.

0:13:06.600 --> 0:13:09.439
<v Speaker 1>And then we pick up Marley that afternoon from kids club.

0:13:10.120 --> 0:13:11.559
<v Speaker 1>She's got conjunctive itists.

0:13:11.559 --> 0:13:15.240
<v Speaker 2>Oh fuck, say yeah from kids club you reckon?

0:13:15.360 --> 0:13:19.280
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, well you know it's daycare. I don't know she's

0:13:19.280 --> 0:13:21.720
<v Speaker 1>she's this thing, had just been lurking there. And then

0:13:21.760 --> 0:13:24.920
<v Speaker 1>it's like, and why does it come out as soon

0:13:24.920 --> 0:13:30.400
<v Speaker 1>as we go overseas nightmare? Nightmare, next day, ash next day.

0:13:30.720 --> 0:13:34.360
<v Speaker 1>I should mention also the fact that Lola really allergic

0:13:34.360 --> 0:13:36.679
<v Speaker 1>to mosquito bites. They just they flare up.

0:13:36.800 --> 0:13:37.600
<v Speaker 2>Is that what that wants?

0:13:37.640 --> 0:13:38.439
<v Speaker 1>Did you see that photo?

0:13:38.720 --> 0:13:38.920
<v Speaker 2>Yeah?

0:13:38.960 --> 0:13:41.000
<v Speaker 4>I was like, but young for acne.

0:13:42.880 --> 0:13:45.319
<v Speaker 1>The first night she woke up in the morning and

0:13:45.360 --> 0:13:48.240
<v Speaker 1>she'd just been like six or seven mosquito bites all

0:13:48.280 --> 0:13:50.360
<v Speaker 1>over her face. They were fine in the morning, but

0:13:50.440 --> 0:13:53.200
<v Speaker 1>as the day progress they start to flare up. So

0:13:53.240 --> 0:13:55.439
<v Speaker 1>I'm thinking to myself, this is a holiday that we've

0:13:55.480 --> 0:13:59.760
<v Speaker 1>been excited for for fucking months, and I'm like, this

0:13:59.840 --> 0:14:02.640
<v Speaker 1>is going to be a disaster. Is this going to

0:14:02.679 --> 0:14:05.840
<v Speaker 1>be I'm like, we're trying to stay positive, like this.

0:14:05.760 --> 0:14:08.560
<v Speaker 2>Is your day too, and already a few things have

0:14:08.640 --> 0:14:09.080
<v Speaker 2>gone wrong.

0:14:09.200 --> 0:14:12.400
<v Speaker 1>This is going to be good. It got better. It

0:14:12.440 --> 0:14:17.880
<v Speaker 1>got better. The weather clear period. We worked through that

0:14:17.960 --> 0:14:19.200
<v Speaker 1>issue and we're going to.

0:14:19.160 --> 0:14:25.160
<v Speaker 2>Details, Please don't. I do not need to know, but but.

0:14:25.200 --> 0:14:28.240
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, rocky start. But then it came good the weather.

0:14:28.240 --> 0:14:30.440
<v Speaker 1>The weather was beautiful, and it was just we had

0:14:30.480 --> 0:14:33.280
<v Speaker 1>an epic nanny as well that you can We booked

0:14:33.280 --> 0:14:36.080
<v Speaker 1>through the villa and kids Club. I wasn't sure if

0:14:36.080 --> 0:14:38.200
<v Speaker 1>the kids would hate it or be into it, but

0:14:39.200 --> 0:14:41.640
<v Speaker 1>too bad. They loved it.

0:14:41.960 --> 0:14:48.080
<v Speaker 2>Because what Lola is too in a bit, so we.

0:14:47.200 --> 0:14:49.120
<v Speaker 4>You just to she's as big as a four year old.

0:14:49.160 --> 0:14:50.840
<v Speaker 1>She yeah, She's like, like, how old is she?

0:14:50.840 --> 0:14:52.120
<v Speaker 2>She's seven, she's fifteen?

0:14:52.360 --> 0:14:55.600
<v Speaker 1>Send her in. But we went with Laura's sister, so

0:14:55.640 --> 0:14:58.680
<v Speaker 1>she has Laura's sister has two kids. With our two kids,

0:14:58.680 --> 0:15:00.440
<v Speaker 1>they all kind of went as a team, plus the

0:15:00.520 --> 0:15:05.720
<v Speaker 1>nanny as well, so they were fine. You know, I

0:15:05.760 --> 0:15:09.400
<v Speaker 1>feel like you have to adjust to living on the island,

0:15:09.440 --> 0:15:10.520
<v Speaker 1>you know, the island time.

0:15:10.800 --> 0:15:13.440
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, they definitely operate on their own clock.

0:15:13.520 --> 0:15:16.880
<v Speaker 1>They're very chilled. They're very chilled. And I remember we

0:15:16.960 --> 0:15:19.800
<v Speaker 1>dropped them off at kids club. Said to the nanny, Hey,

0:15:20.000 --> 0:15:24.280
<v Speaker 1>just so you know, Lola and Tazzy that's Laura's sister's kid,

0:15:24.360 --> 0:15:28.120
<v Speaker 1>the similar age. They come back at midday for a nap.

0:15:28.160 --> 0:15:30.240
<v Speaker 1>They'll have like an hour and a half nap. Is

0:15:30.280 --> 0:15:31.760
<v Speaker 1>that all right? And she's like, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's

0:15:31.760 --> 0:15:34.200
<v Speaker 1>totally fine, not a problem. So you know when you

0:15:34.240 --> 0:15:37.600
<v Speaker 1>come back, come back at midday, nap time, all sorted,

0:15:37.760 --> 0:15:39.240
<v Speaker 1>thumbs up, we're locked in.

0:15:39.360 --> 0:15:40.320
<v Speaker 2>Good for the afternoon.

0:15:40.520 --> 0:15:42.640
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, And then we're chilling in the villa. It's like

0:15:42.680 --> 0:15:44.960
<v Speaker 1>twelve fifteen and we think, oh shit, they're not they're

0:15:44.960 --> 0:15:47.400
<v Speaker 1>not back yet. It's not massive, but to get around

0:15:47.720 --> 0:15:50.960
<v Speaker 1>you have to call a buggy from reception. And I

0:15:51.040 --> 0:15:53.240
<v Speaker 1>messaged the nanny because we were on WhatsApp with them

0:15:53.560 --> 0:15:55.640
<v Speaker 1>and I say, hey, you're good to come back. It's

0:15:55.640 --> 0:15:58.840
<v Speaker 1>twelve fifteen. Now the kids need a nap, and she's like, yeah, yeah,

0:15:58.920 --> 0:16:01.960
<v Speaker 1>I'm currently organizing the kids. I'll be back in a second.

0:16:02.120 --> 0:16:05.240
<v Speaker 1>Like goog great. It's like twelve thirty still no kids.

0:16:05.880 --> 0:16:09.200
<v Speaker 1>And you know if anyone who doesn't have kids, they

0:16:09.240 --> 0:16:10.840
<v Speaker 1>are they run on a strict routine.

0:16:11.280 --> 0:16:13.720
<v Speaker 2>You know, it gets there, you've stuffed the routine up,

0:16:13.760 --> 0:16:16.800
<v Speaker 2>your stuff, your whole afternoon up, and they get cranky.

0:16:16.960 --> 0:16:19.800
<v Speaker 1>Right, and it's like, you know, kids are fine until

0:16:19.840 --> 0:16:22.840
<v Speaker 1>eleven fifty eleven fifty five, they're like, I'm gonna go

0:16:22.920 --> 0:16:23.560
<v Speaker 1>to fucking sleep.

0:16:23.840 --> 0:16:25.080
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, I'm tired now.

0:16:25.320 --> 0:16:28.160
<v Speaker 1>Anyway, I'm calling it now on what's happen, being like, hey,

0:16:28.440 --> 0:16:30.240
<v Speaker 1>just seeing where you are, and she's like, I'm just

0:16:30.240 --> 0:16:31.920
<v Speaker 1>waiting on a buggy. I'll be there in a second.

0:16:32.360 --> 0:16:34.160
<v Speaker 1>So by the time the kids come back, it's like

0:16:34.280 --> 0:16:36.600
<v Speaker 1>one o'clock. And then after the kids go to bed,

0:16:36.720 --> 0:16:39.239
<v Speaker 1>I pull the babysitter aside and I'm like, hey.

0:16:39.000 --> 0:16:44.160
<v Speaker 2>Discipline there, and I didn't want to be that strict.

0:16:44.320 --> 0:16:48.119
<v Speaker 2>She obviously doesn't understand that, like it's so vitally important

0:16:48.200 --> 0:16:50.840
<v Speaker 2>for something maybe with Island kids, it's not so important,

0:16:50.840 --> 0:16:51.440
<v Speaker 2>but I don't know.

0:16:52.040 --> 0:16:54.080
<v Speaker 1>But yeah, So I was like, I just want to

0:16:54.120 --> 0:16:56.080
<v Speaker 1>explain to her. I was like, you know, it's now

0:16:56.120 --> 0:16:58.400
<v Speaker 1>one o'clock, it's an now past their bedtime. We just

0:16:58.400 --> 0:16:59.640
<v Speaker 1>really need to make sure that we get them in

0:16:59.680 --> 0:17:03.920
<v Speaker 1>bed by midday. And she's like, nah, no, it's okay.

0:17:06.080 --> 0:17:07.400
<v Speaker 4>She's gone rogue.

0:17:07.920 --> 0:17:10.879
<v Speaker 1>And I was like, oh no. The thing is like,

0:17:10.960 --> 0:17:13.359
<v Speaker 1>it's not okay because they really have to be in

0:17:13.400 --> 0:17:15.960
<v Speaker 1>bed by a certain time. And I was like, trying

0:17:16.000 --> 0:17:17.480
<v Speaker 1>to be really polite to her. She looks at me

0:17:17.520 --> 0:17:19.919
<v Speaker 1>and she goes, nah, no.

0:17:20.160 --> 0:17:24.280
<v Speaker 2>It's all good, and you politely sucked her on the spot.

0:17:24.760 --> 0:17:27.040
<v Speaker 1>I was like, how can I how can I be

0:17:27.080 --> 0:17:31.520
<v Speaker 1>more more than you? She was like, shut up, You're

0:17:31.560 --> 0:17:32.159
<v Speaker 1>on an island.

0:17:32.240 --> 0:17:34.439
<v Speaker 4>She's probably raised about fifteen kids.

0:17:35.640 --> 0:17:37.800
<v Speaker 2>Who's this white bolly trying to tell me how to

0:17:37.840 --> 0:17:39.040
<v Speaker 2>look after these kids?

0:17:39.240 --> 0:17:42.920
<v Speaker 1>Literally, I was like, well, I guess hey, we're all good.

0:17:42.960 --> 0:17:45.359
<v Speaker 2>And the thing is with the with with like the

0:17:45.359 --> 0:17:49.200
<v Speaker 2>Fijian they're always lovely lady.

0:17:49.480 --> 0:17:52.120
<v Speaker 1>She's like beautiful. Kids loved her. Yeah.

0:17:52.359 --> 0:17:54.760
<v Speaker 2>It was funny because one of the teachers that kind

0:17:54.840 --> 0:17:59.399
<v Speaker 2>us is a Fijian Calisia Feli something like that. Lovely amazing,

0:17:59.600 --> 0:18:01.280
<v Speaker 2>And when we went to feed you with the kids,

0:18:02.000 --> 0:18:06.320
<v Speaker 2>Oscar was like just calling all of them Calise obviously

0:18:06.480 --> 0:18:10.080
<v Speaker 2>so young doesn't understand, but like yeah, they probably just

0:18:10.200 --> 0:18:13.200
<v Speaker 2>like we don't work on no your schedules, bro.

0:18:13.920 --> 0:18:16.440
<v Speaker 1>Even there was a few nights where so we would

0:18:16.480 --> 0:18:18.760
<v Speaker 1>normally have her until like five o'clock and then a

0:18:18.800 --> 0:18:21.600
<v Speaker 1>few nights we wanted to have a nice parent evening

0:18:21.800 --> 0:18:24.320
<v Speaker 1>kids away at home, and so we would book her,

0:18:24.440 --> 0:18:27.280
<v Speaker 1>but the last she would go back to the mainland.

0:18:27.320 --> 0:18:30.040
<v Speaker 1>So the last boat was at nine thirty, Okay, yeah, yeah,

0:18:30.080 --> 0:18:31.760
<v Speaker 1>and so we kind of what time do you need

0:18:31.800 --> 0:18:33.600
<v Speaker 1>to be down at the jettie bi to get that

0:18:33.680 --> 0:18:36.720
<v Speaker 1>boat and she's like, ah, She's like, if you're back

0:18:36.760 --> 0:18:39.479
<v Speaker 1>by like nine thirty, that's fine. And we were like, oh,

0:18:39.520 --> 0:18:42.680
<v Speaker 1>but isn't the last boat at nine thirty And she's

0:18:42.720 --> 0:18:45.360
<v Speaker 1>like yeah, and we're like, so, but if we're back

0:18:45.359 --> 0:18:48.680
<v Speaker 1>at nine thirty, you have to get down to the

0:18:48.720 --> 0:18:51.480
<v Speaker 1>jetty and she's like, yeah, nine thirty five, nine forty,

0:18:51.600 --> 0:18:53.120
<v Speaker 1>like whatever, Like.

0:18:53.320 --> 0:18:55.400
<v Speaker 2>We knows them that she probably knows that that way,

0:18:55.960 --> 0:18:58.840
<v Speaker 2>they probably know she's there totally. They're probably thinking no

0:18:59.280 --> 0:19:00.800
<v Speaker 2>nanny left by right.

0:19:02.040 --> 0:19:04.720
<v Speaker 1>I think the first two or three days, I think

0:19:04.760 --> 0:19:06.760
<v Speaker 1>everyone's just saying they come in and they're like, you know,

0:19:06.880 --> 0:19:08.560
<v Speaker 1>fucking Sydney people so high stretch.

0:19:08.560 --> 0:19:10.280
<v Speaker 2>It's probably used to dealing with you.

0:19:10.440 --> 0:19:13.040
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, where are my kids?

0:19:13.960 --> 0:19:14.280
<v Speaker 2>Fifteen?

0:19:14.400 --> 0:19:17.160
<v Speaker 1>She's like, shut up. But it was good. Kids loved

0:19:17.160 --> 0:19:20.200
<v Speaker 1>her weather. It was amazing. Laura and I on the

0:19:20.280 --> 0:19:23.040
<v Speaker 1>day of my birthday, she organized the snorkel trip. So

0:19:23.119 --> 0:19:25.320
<v Speaker 1>we had like three and three and a half hours

0:19:25.359 --> 0:19:28.000
<v Speaker 1>just just Laura and me on a boat and it

0:19:28.080 --> 0:19:29.200
<v Speaker 1>was fucking beautiful.

0:19:29.240 --> 0:19:30.040
<v Speaker 4>Did you hit the carver?

0:19:30.760 --> 0:19:31.920
<v Speaker 1>We didn't know there was a carver?

0:19:32.280 --> 0:19:34.760
<v Speaker 2>Did I just see some video of you like dancing

0:19:34.800 --> 0:19:37.080
<v Speaker 2>around like you buddy, you're possessed?

0:19:37.160 --> 0:19:41.520
<v Speaker 1>No, that was I was on the rosees Rose Carver.

0:19:41.680 --> 0:19:46.920
<v Speaker 1>It's yeah, traditional Fiji and Rose got me good.

0:19:47.240 --> 0:19:48.760
<v Speaker 2>Twenty three dollars a glass.

0:19:50.240 --> 0:19:52.879
<v Speaker 1>I was like, do we get the drinks package? But

0:19:53.160 --> 0:19:54.960
<v Speaker 1>it was great, it was great. I am you know,

0:19:55.000 --> 0:19:57.280
<v Speaker 1>I love I love Snorkel. You do it? I love.

0:19:57.480 --> 0:19:58.200
<v Speaker 4>I can't do it.

0:19:58.359 --> 0:19:59.760
<v Speaker 2>What do you mean I can't do it?

0:20:00.000 --> 0:20:02.160
<v Speaker 1>I can't swim or I can swim?

0:20:02.160 --> 0:20:07.000
<v Speaker 2>Fine, thank you. It's the snorkeling for me, which part

0:20:07.400 --> 0:20:11.080
<v Speaker 2>just the whole thing, I don't know. I can't I

0:20:11.119 --> 0:20:13.560
<v Speaker 2>find that I can't breathe in it. So a few

0:20:13.600 --> 0:20:16.679
<v Speaker 2>years ago before kids, April and I did like a

0:20:16.720 --> 0:20:21.200
<v Speaker 2>big trip through Southeast Asia, like four months through Southeast Asia,

0:20:21.280 --> 0:20:23.359
<v Speaker 2>and we went to Cambodia, and the south coast to

0:20:23.359 --> 0:20:27.640
<v Speaker 2>Cambodia is beautiful anyway you can go out really cheap

0:20:27.680 --> 0:20:29.200
<v Speaker 2>to island hopping and snorkeling.

0:20:29.359 --> 0:20:30.919
<v Speaker 4>We hired like a boat for like it was like

0:20:30.960 --> 0:20:31.760
<v Speaker 4>a hundred.

0:20:31.440 --> 0:20:36.480
<v Speaker 2>Bucks for like the whole day beautiful fishing, like swimming beautiful,

0:20:36.600 --> 0:20:38.200
<v Speaker 2>and one it was snorkeling.

0:20:38.240 --> 0:20:41.800
<v Speaker 1>But at this point you'd snorkeled before, right, It wasn't

0:20:41.840 --> 0:20:44.160
<v Speaker 1>as if you were I'd snorkeled before.

0:20:44.200 --> 0:20:46.920
<v Speaker 2>But same thing. I just find I can't breathe through

0:20:46.960 --> 0:20:51.800
<v Speaker 2>the tube. Gotcha, there's not enough oxygen for me. I like,

0:20:54.720 --> 0:20:55.360
<v Speaker 2>this is how you.

0:20:55.320 --> 0:20:57.439
<v Speaker 4>Do it anyway?

0:20:57.760 --> 0:20:58.840
<v Speaker 1>How long can you last?

0:20:59.119 --> 0:21:01.520
<v Speaker 2>About ten seconds? Like give me.

0:21:03.040 --> 0:21:04.760
<v Speaker 4>Whenever I go snork and I usually chuck and.

0:21:04.760 --> 0:21:06.520
<v Speaker 2>Gogles on, hold my breath and just go down and

0:21:06.520 --> 0:21:08.520
<v Speaker 2>do what I need to do. But I just don't

0:21:08.680 --> 0:21:14.119
<v Speaker 2>like it, do not like it. And on this particular occasion,

0:21:14.440 --> 0:21:16.560
<v Speaker 2>after I had tried it a few times or whatever,

0:21:16.600 --> 0:21:18.120
<v Speaker 2>because I was in my twenties.

0:21:18.280 --> 0:21:19.400
<v Speaker 1>Does April like it?

0:21:20.840 --> 0:21:23.399
<v Speaker 2>I think she she doesn't really care.

0:21:23.400 --> 0:21:23.800
<v Speaker 1>Not snorks.

0:21:23.800 --> 0:21:24.960
<v Speaker 4>She doesn't give a shit out.

0:21:25.040 --> 0:21:29.919
<v Speaker 2>Yeah anyway, And in Southeast Asia, as you do as

0:21:29.960 --> 0:21:32.680
<v Speaker 2>a young backpackage, if you drink a lot, you drink

0:21:32.720 --> 0:21:35.479
<v Speaker 2>a lot of beers. So obviously I'm probably on the

0:21:35.480 --> 0:21:36.600
<v Speaker 2>back of a three month.

0:21:36.640 --> 0:21:40.680
<v Speaker 1>Times have changed. Ash, what's not a backpack anymore? What's

0:21:40.680 --> 0:21:41.200
<v Speaker 1>your excuse.

0:21:42.040 --> 0:21:49.439
<v Speaker 5>I've got kids, two of them, so you get and

0:21:49.480 --> 0:21:55.880
<v Speaker 5>a beer sponsor, so you're backpacking backpacking. Had a big

0:21:55.960 --> 0:21:58.480
<v Speaker 5>night and like, look, we've been drinking on this boat too,

0:21:58.600 --> 0:22:00.359
<v Speaker 5>and we're with some people from Melbourn and that we

0:22:00.400 --> 0:22:03.600
<v Speaker 5>met like it was a cool, little private, little dinghy boat.

0:22:04.160 --> 0:22:06.639
<v Speaker 2>Beautiful, don't get me wrong. And we stopped to do

0:22:06.720 --> 0:22:09.960
<v Speaker 2>some snorkeling and everyone's like, yay, snorkeling.

0:22:09.440 --> 0:22:10.800
<v Speaker 1>And I can't fucking wait.

0:22:11.640 --> 0:22:14.119
<v Speaker 2>I'm still a little bit seedy from the day before.

0:22:14.280 --> 0:22:19.720
<v Speaker 2>I'm like, coming good, put the snorkel on, hopping the water,

0:22:19.920 --> 0:22:23.600
<v Speaker 2>Oh okay. The first or second time, I like kind

0:22:23.600 --> 0:22:28.760
<v Speaker 2>of dip my head down, and I think the second

0:22:28.800 --> 0:22:34.280
<v Speaker 2>or third time I've spewed up into the tube. Oh shit,

0:22:34.520 --> 0:22:37.639
<v Speaker 2>but it's gone up. April said, she just saw this

0:22:37.720 --> 0:22:40.760
<v Speaker 2>thing bubble out of the tube and then what didn't

0:22:40.760 --> 0:22:43.919
<v Speaker 2>bubble out has just sucked back into my throat and

0:22:44.000 --> 0:22:52.280
<v Speaker 2>I've swallowed it back down. Sorry about that.

0:22:52.440 --> 0:22:54.400
<v Speaker 1>Oh my god, I'm fucking dry.

0:22:54.440 --> 0:22:58.760
<v Speaker 2>Reaching gross. Eh look for me at the time, very

0:22:58.800 --> 0:23:02.959
<v Speaker 2>gross because it just started a really bad cycle of

0:23:03.000 --> 0:23:09.800
<v Speaker 2>me vomiting dis continue it for that small and then

0:23:10.160 --> 0:23:14.840
<v Speaker 2>it was in the water, and then the fish was great. Anyway,

0:23:14.840 --> 0:23:17.200
<v Speaker 2>we got out of there real quick. But yeah, I

0:23:17.240 --> 0:23:19.560
<v Speaker 2>can't do the snorkeling thing. I can't.

0:23:20.280 --> 0:23:21.600
<v Speaker 4>And like I've noticed with you and.

0:23:21.600 --> 0:23:27.880
<v Speaker 2>Your holidays holidays, you always find somewhere to snorggle. It'd

0:23:27.880 --> 0:23:29.560
<v Speaker 2>be like you could be in the out back Australia

0:23:29.600 --> 0:23:31.720
<v Speaker 2>and be like, look, he's a really good little pond.

0:23:31.720 --> 0:23:33.400
<v Speaker 2>We can snorkeling. I love it.

0:23:33.480 --> 0:23:37.720
<v Speaker 1>I love it. Nothing Nothing makes me happier than being

0:23:37.760 --> 0:23:40.399
<v Speaker 1>fully submerged in a body of water.

0:23:40.680 --> 0:23:42.199
<v Speaker 2>Oh new we.

0:23:45.080 --> 0:23:48.159
<v Speaker 1>Literally, that's that's that's my jam. I always thought you

0:23:48.200 --> 0:23:51.560
<v Speaker 1>were this, I guess up until now, a perfect man.

0:23:52.720 --> 0:23:54.480
<v Speaker 1>But I've just found your achilles heel.

0:23:54.600 --> 0:23:57.040
<v Speaker 2>That's one thing I just don't I just don't like.

0:23:57.920 --> 0:24:00.159
<v Speaker 1>Which is so weird because you're, like your sirf a

0:24:00.160 --> 0:24:05.160
<v Speaker 1>water child. Yeah yeah, yeah, maybe something happened in a previous.

0:24:05.119 --> 0:24:08.800
<v Speaker 2>Try and make it complicated. I just get claustrophobic with

0:24:08.840 --> 0:24:12.080
<v Speaker 2>the tiny little not everyone can breathe through a tiny

0:24:12.160 --> 0:24:14.080
<v Speaker 2>tube something I'm very good at.

0:24:14.400 --> 0:24:15.720
<v Speaker 4>You seem to be, do.

0:24:15.680 --> 0:24:17.359
<v Speaker 1>You you scuba dives? Oh?

0:24:17.520 --> 0:24:21.159
<v Speaker 4>No way, would I ever know chance, I'd be up

0:24:21.200 --> 0:24:24.320
<v Speaker 4>on the news. I'd be to be like well.

0:24:24.400 --> 0:24:27.480
<v Speaker 2>Some say he vomited so much in his in his

0:24:27.600 --> 0:24:30.600
<v Speaker 2>suit that he took it in within every orifice of

0:24:30.600 --> 0:24:34.080
<v Speaker 2>his body, and he died thoughts and prayers he drowned

0:24:34.080 --> 0:24:36.439
<v Speaker 2>in his own vomit in the bottom of the ocean.

0:24:36.720 --> 0:24:37.720
<v Speaker 2>Some say good riddance.

0:24:37.920 --> 0:24:41.400
<v Speaker 1>I'm actually I am shocked right now. I'm shocked right now.

0:24:41.440 --> 0:24:45.439
<v Speaker 1>I feel like I want to take you snorkeling so

0:24:45.600 --> 0:24:49.000
<v Speaker 1>I can clear you of this like fear of the

0:24:49.040 --> 0:24:52.360
<v Speaker 1>small tube. Come with me on a holidays.

0:24:52.720 --> 0:25:00.440
<v Speaker 2>Done, let's go, let's go. Now what else? What else

0:25:00.480 --> 0:25:02.119
<v Speaker 2>have you missed since you've been away? I don't know

0:25:02.119 --> 0:25:06.600
<v Speaker 2>if you saw Matthew, but forell Oscar's birthday, I bought

0:25:06.640 --> 0:25:07.320
<v Speaker 2>him a kite.

0:25:07.440 --> 0:25:11.120
<v Speaker 1>Oh you did that little cheeky video of actually there's

0:25:11.119 --> 0:25:15.600
<v Speaker 1>a video with no Oscar, just you running laps up

0:25:15.640 --> 0:25:17.920
<v Speaker 1>and down the park with the kite. Is that the

0:25:18.000 --> 0:25:18.840
<v Speaker 1>kite you're talking about?

0:25:18.960 --> 0:25:22.120
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, So no one told me that kiting is hard.

0:25:23.359 --> 0:25:26.320
<v Speaker 4>I was not expecting it. So we bought this kite.

0:25:26.320 --> 0:25:28.360
<v Speaker 2>And there's the thing when with kids and you buy

0:25:28.400 --> 0:25:32.160
<v Speaker 2>them something, they want to use it immediately, but kite

0:25:32.240 --> 0:25:35.200
<v Speaker 2>not the case. Wasn't windy for like two weeks, and

0:25:35.280 --> 0:25:37.639
<v Speaker 2>Oscar didn't quite understand that. So for every day for

0:25:37.680 --> 0:25:40.240
<v Speaker 2>two weeks he was like, can we fly the kite?

0:25:40.400 --> 0:25:42.159
<v Speaker 2>Not windy? It's not windy enough?

0:25:42.680 --> 0:25:44.320
<v Speaker 1>Was it actually not windy enough? Or were you just

0:25:44.400 --> 0:25:46.000
<v Speaker 1>making up excuses.

0:25:45.520 --> 0:25:46.120
<v Speaker 4>A bit of both?

0:25:46.200 --> 0:25:50.439
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, great, yeah, fifty to fifty Yeah, two weeks. I

0:25:50.480 --> 0:25:51.640
<v Speaker 2>had to endure this.

0:25:52.119 --> 0:25:54.000
<v Speaker 4>And look, I'm never buying him a.

0:25:53.960 --> 0:25:56.800
<v Speaker 2>Toy again that he can't use immediately. I think there's

0:25:56.960 --> 0:25:59.320
<v Speaker 2>you know, we said, there's no advice. Here's some advice,

0:26:00.119 --> 0:26:01.800
<v Speaker 2>a toy they can use instantly.

0:26:02.320 --> 0:26:05.160
<v Speaker 1>Because kids have zero patients, they don't understand it. It doesn't

0:26:05.119 --> 0:26:07.359
<v Speaker 1>it's not something that they have within their like little

0:26:07.400 --> 0:26:08.200
<v Speaker 1>tiny kid.

0:26:08.040 --> 0:26:11.120
<v Speaker 2>Mine Eventually we get a nice windy days a Friday.

0:26:11.520 --> 0:26:12.399
<v Speaker 2>Everyone was at home.

0:26:12.720 --> 0:26:14.040
<v Speaker 4>It wasn't weekend sports.

0:26:14.080 --> 0:26:15.919
<v Speaker 2>So there's a soccer field just up from us.

0:26:16.160 --> 0:26:19.520
<v Speaker 1>Great, a big sun. Sun was out. Was it blowing

0:26:19.600 --> 0:26:22.719
<v Speaker 1>like twenty four knots. I don't know what that is.

0:26:24.560 --> 0:26:28.000
<v Speaker 2>It was blowing in a direction and it was constant

0:26:28.119 --> 0:26:30.080
<v Speaker 2>enough to hold a kite up.

0:26:30.119 --> 0:26:32.600
<v Speaker 1>Potentially, I'm imagining right now, you've got this like wind

0:26:32.640 --> 0:26:34.679
<v Speaker 1>sock set up at the backyard of your house and

0:26:34.720 --> 0:26:38.760
<v Speaker 1>every morning, quick get in the car.

0:26:38.920 --> 0:26:43.400
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, he's just running an airport in the backyard. And

0:26:43.680 --> 0:26:45.760
<v Speaker 2>I was like, okay, let's go down. And I was

0:26:45.760 --> 0:26:48.760
<v Speaker 2>in the car with April and I turned around. I said,

0:26:48.760 --> 0:26:49.720
<v Speaker 2>do you know what fly kit.

0:26:53.760 --> 0:26:54.679
<v Speaker 1>Kite licensed?

0:26:55.200 --> 0:26:59.080
<v Speaker 4>And she was like, no, do you I was like,

0:26:59.200 --> 0:27:00.719
<v Speaker 4>quick google it.

0:27:00.760 --> 0:27:04.560
<v Speaker 1>I fly kights like I snorffled as I google it,

0:27:04.640 --> 0:27:06.000
<v Speaker 1>hungover and vomiting.

0:27:06.920 --> 0:27:09.520
<v Speaker 4>Just Google like a just google, like a quick tutory.

0:27:09.560 --> 0:27:11.600
<v Speaker 1>But it's like you just put you to release it.

0:27:11.720 --> 0:27:14.800
<v Speaker 2>Right. You're just like you think that there's a couple

0:27:14.840 --> 0:27:15.960
<v Speaker 2>of things you shouldn't mix.

0:27:16.119 --> 0:27:17.679
<v Speaker 1>Please enlighten me.

0:27:17.800 --> 0:27:24.360
<v Speaker 2>You shouldn't mix string and toddling. Yeah, that's number one.

0:27:24.359 --> 0:27:25.760
<v Speaker 1>It's like tangle heaven.

0:27:25.920 --> 0:27:26.600
<v Speaker 4>We get there.

0:27:27.119 --> 0:27:28.760
<v Speaker 2>I'm like, looking at this kite going.

0:27:28.720 --> 0:27:31.280
<v Speaker 1>Many other kite flyers at the park, You're the only

0:27:31.320 --> 0:27:34.640
<v Speaker 1>one which is also quiet. I get anxiety just thinking

0:27:34.640 --> 0:27:36.880
<v Speaker 1>about the fact that other parents are there, going, Oh,

0:27:37.119 --> 0:27:39.600
<v Speaker 1>the fucking dad with a kite, right, let's let's see

0:27:39.640 --> 0:27:40.160
<v Speaker 1>what he's got.

0:27:40.320 --> 0:27:42.560
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, there was a guy like doing the lines of

0:27:42.600 --> 0:27:46.720
<v Speaker 2>the soccer field. He was looking at me. He's looking

0:27:46.720 --> 0:27:50.760
<v Speaker 2>at me intimidated. Yeah, and I set this thing up.

0:27:51.160 --> 0:27:53.760
<v Speaker 2>First of all, it was back. I was trying to

0:27:53.800 --> 0:27:55.080
<v Speaker 2>catch wind in the wrong part.

0:27:55.960 --> 0:27:56.639
<v Speaker 4>I didn't go up.

0:27:56.680 --> 0:27:58.719
<v Speaker 2>But then I didn't realize how aggressive it could be

0:27:58.760 --> 0:28:01.119
<v Speaker 2>once I've got it up. So I'm like, but the

0:28:01.160 --> 0:28:03.400
<v Speaker 2>thing is as well. Oscar's like, can I have a town?

0:28:04.280 --> 0:28:08.600
<v Speaker 2>I'm like, I can't even get it going. Some of

0:28:08.640 --> 0:28:10.200
<v Speaker 2>that video where I was just like, fuck it, I'm

0:28:10.200 --> 0:28:12.280
<v Speaker 2>just gonna run really fast with it, and April was

0:28:12.400 --> 0:28:15.280
<v Speaker 2>just laughing at it off at this fucking fully grown

0:28:15.359 --> 0:28:17.480
<v Speaker 2>there trying to fly card.

0:28:17.960 --> 0:28:19.399
<v Speaker 1>It's like wrestling a while the animal.

0:28:19.440 --> 0:28:20.680
<v Speaker 4>It's like I couldn't get it off.

0:28:20.760 --> 0:28:23.440
<v Speaker 2>I couldn't. Eventually, when I did get it up in

0:28:23.480 --> 0:28:26.159
<v Speaker 2>the air, I was like, lo, this bad, and Oscar

0:28:26.280 --> 0:28:29.600
<v Speaker 2>was like, it's scary, and I was like, because it's

0:28:29.640 --> 0:28:32.879
<v Speaker 2>like a dragon shape, it's not just your run of

0:28:32.880 --> 0:28:35.000
<v Speaker 2>the mill triangle, diamond whatever.

0:28:35.480 --> 0:28:37.000
<v Speaker 1>You've gone all out, you've got the animal.

0:28:37.240 --> 0:28:38.840
<v Speaker 2>Well I went to get the cheap one and they're

0:28:38.880 --> 0:28:42.080
<v Speaker 2>sold out. Yeah, the expensive one didn't I because he

0:28:42.160 --> 0:28:45.440
<v Speaker 2>wanted a kite so bad anyway, So eventually I.

0:28:45.440 --> 0:28:46.160
<v Speaker 4>Figured it out.

0:28:46.280 --> 0:28:48.840
<v Speaker 2>I'm like, okay, I just you know, tinkered with it

0:28:48.880 --> 0:28:51.280
<v Speaker 2>a little bit, like so that it was the right

0:28:51.320 --> 0:28:52.200
<v Speaker 2>angle at.

0:28:52.040 --> 0:28:54.720
<v Speaker 1>This point, are you how many minutes? In twenty minutes?

0:28:55.000 --> 0:28:59.200
<v Speaker 2>Now, shit cower in and I think the whole time

0:28:59.240 --> 0:29:03.920
<v Speaker 2>Oscar has been like you want to turn, I'm scared. Meanwhile,

0:29:03.960 --> 0:29:07.600
<v Speaker 2>Macy's legging it away from this scary dragon. But the

0:29:07.640 --> 0:29:09.640
<v Speaker 2>thing is, it was so windy that when it got

0:29:09.680 --> 0:29:14.800
<v Speaker 2>in the air, it was like fucking flailing about and

0:29:14.840 --> 0:29:18.000
<v Speaker 2>then it would hit the decks so hard. And then

0:29:18.200 --> 0:29:22.720
<v Speaker 2>eventually the string got tangled, and then Oscar comes over

0:29:22.760 --> 0:29:24.400
<v Speaker 2>to help me with the string, and then Oscar got

0:29:24.440 --> 0:29:25.200
<v Speaker 2>fucking tangled.

0:29:25.360 --> 0:29:26.960
<v Speaker 4>Then Oscar goes to run away.

0:29:26.760 --> 0:29:29.080
<v Speaker 2>And because his tangle is tripped over and he's fallen

0:29:29.120 --> 0:29:33.240
<v Speaker 2>over and there's tears Anyway, long story short, we have

0:29:33.280 --> 0:29:36.000
<v Speaker 2>thrown the kite out. Yeah, get rid of it, and

0:29:36.520 --> 0:29:40.840
<v Speaker 2>more advice from me, don't buy a kite n It's honestly,

0:29:40.880 --> 0:29:42.120
<v Speaker 2>it's harder than parenting.

0:29:42.600 --> 0:29:46.920
<v Speaker 1>It's like Plato. I fucking hate Plato so things.

0:29:47.400 --> 0:29:49.160
<v Speaker 2>It feels weird on your hands.

0:29:48.880 --> 0:29:53.080
<v Speaker 1>It leaves awful residue on your fingers, and you have

0:29:53.160 --> 0:29:55.480
<v Speaker 1>to watch the Michael Hawk the moment you stop watching

0:29:55.480 --> 0:29:58.640
<v Speaker 1>your kids with Plato, it ends up on the carpet,

0:29:58.680 --> 0:30:00.720
<v Speaker 1>it ends up in the hair on their shirts. And

0:30:02.160 --> 0:30:05.360
<v Speaker 1>Lola absolutely anything like I look over and she's like

0:30:05.440 --> 0:30:06.560
<v Speaker 1>half a tub down.

0:30:06.440 --> 0:30:06.600
<v Speaker 2>Just.

0:30:08.200 --> 0:30:09.200
<v Speaker 1>At it stopping.

0:30:10.400 --> 0:30:12.560
<v Speaker 2>And then I really like this red one.

0:30:14.920 --> 0:30:16.480
<v Speaker 5>Tell me loud, tell me.

0:30:22.880 --> 0:30:25.360
<v Speaker 1>Did you see the review that someone left?

0:30:25.560 --> 0:30:28.080
<v Speaker 2>I don't. I don't see. I don't go through this.

0:30:28.240 --> 0:30:29.920
<v Speaker 1>It was good, it was good. They said, we want

0:30:29.960 --> 0:30:31.360
<v Speaker 1>more of that song.

0:30:33.800 --> 0:30:36.400
<v Speaker 2>At least sing a single. It's funny that maybe.

0:30:36.200 --> 0:30:39.600
<v Speaker 1>At some point, either on the anniversary of our first episode,

0:30:39.720 --> 0:30:43.120
<v Speaker 1>we can do like an extended release on Spotify. The

0:30:43.200 --> 0:30:45.840
<v Speaker 1>music video cover just an idea, throwing it out there.

0:30:45.960 --> 0:30:49.160
<v Speaker 2>Love it. Anyone that knows how to produce a music

0:30:49.240 --> 0:30:53.080
<v Speaker 2>video please hit us up right now, because that is

0:30:53.120 --> 0:30:54.320
<v Speaker 2>something I want to do.

0:30:54.720 --> 0:30:56.520
<v Speaker 1>How hard could it be that hard?

0:30:56.680 --> 0:30:59.120
<v Speaker 4>If the talent is the hardest part, You've already got that.

0:30:59.320 --> 0:31:05.680
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I've got this comedic voice that it's honestly nazily singing.

0:31:06.040 --> 0:31:10.120
<v Speaker 1>Tell me, la shut the fuck up, stop it right now.

0:31:11.520 --> 0:31:12.920
<v Speaker 1>Have you told any lies recently?

0:31:14.880 --> 0:31:18.320
<v Speaker 2>I feel like I'm consistently lying all the fucking time

0:31:18.400 --> 0:31:19.040
<v Speaker 2>to my kids.

0:31:20.200 --> 0:31:25.400
<v Speaker 1>April never would never lie. I don't think I actually

0:31:26.640 --> 0:31:28.560
<v Speaker 1>I've just been bribing my kids when I was away

0:31:28.600 --> 0:31:30.560
<v Speaker 1>over in fig But I have had some very good

0:31:30.600 --> 0:31:33.640
<v Speaker 1>lies submitted by the listeners, as she fucking quickly read

0:31:33.680 --> 0:31:35.040
<v Speaker 1>you one if I may.

0:31:35.240 --> 0:31:37.920
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, and I've got one that someone sent too. I've

0:31:37.960 --> 0:31:40.840
<v Speaker 2>sent someone someone that sent me a meme though. That's

0:31:40.840 --> 0:31:43.560
<v Speaker 2>a really great lie that people would have heard of before.

0:31:44.000 --> 0:31:48.680
<v Speaker 2>It's quite lengthy, So you do yours first, Ash, shut up.

0:31:49.840 --> 0:31:51.360
<v Speaker 1>I thought you saw this message.

0:31:51.400 --> 0:31:53.760
<v Speaker 2>No no, no, no no no, because I don't read

0:31:53.760 --> 0:31:54.160
<v Speaker 2>the dance.

0:31:55.360 --> 0:31:59.360
<v Speaker 1>It's very, very very similar to your kite story. But

0:31:59.440 --> 0:32:05.160
<v Speaker 1>I'll read this. This is from Lauren Laurence's lovely to

0:32:05.160 --> 0:32:08.000
<v Speaker 1>get your message. She says, Hey, two doting dads. I

0:32:08.080 --> 0:32:11.120
<v Speaker 1>love the podcast except for Ash's voice.

0:32:13.400 --> 0:32:14.160
<v Speaker 2>That's made up.

0:32:14.480 --> 0:32:19.000
<v Speaker 1>That was very clever. I'm a step mum of three

0:32:19.200 --> 0:32:22.040
<v Speaker 1>and find your content relatable and hilarious. I didn't have

0:32:22.120 --> 0:32:22.680
<v Speaker 1>to read this.

0:32:22.560 --> 0:32:25.640
<v Speaker 2>Front part, but I just give us a bloody little pash.

0:32:25.480 --> 0:32:29.600
<v Speaker 1>Of the ego. I do have to confess, though, I

0:32:29.720 --> 0:32:33.400
<v Speaker 1>tell my eight year old step son a lie regularly.

0:32:34.040 --> 0:32:36.480
<v Speaker 1>My parents bought him a kite for his sixth birthday,

0:32:36.560 --> 0:32:38.920
<v Speaker 1>so that's two years ago, and I've been telling this

0:32:38.920 --> 0:32:42.680
<v Speaker 1>boy for the last two years. It's not the right

0:32:42.800 --> 0:32:51.720
<v Speaker 1>weather to fly a kite. Light breeze, na, sorry, mate,

0:32:52.040 --> 0:32:55.560
<v Speaker 1>Howling winds ooh nah, mate, just blowing in the wrong direction,

0:32:56.040 --> 0:32:58.400
<v Speaker 1>gale force winds. No way you get blown away with

0:32:58.440 --> 0:33:01.400
<v Speaker 1>the kite. Why. I don't really know. I couldn't think

0:33:01.400 --> 0:33:04.640
<v Speaker 1>of anything worse than standing outside, picking up the same

0:33:04.760 --> 0:33:07.720
<v Speaker 1>kite that hasn't taken off for the fiftieth time and

0:33:07.800 --> 0:33:10.320
<v Speaker 1>launching it back up into the sky. It's not for me.

0:33:10.680 --> 0:33:11.960
<v Speaker 1>It's just not windy enough.

0:33:13.280 --> 0:33:17.000
<v Speaker 2>That's great, is this? I didn't even see that mess?

0:33:17.280 --> 0:33:18.240
<v Speaker 1>Did you write that in this?

0:33:19.400 --> 0:33:20.320
<v Speaker 2>It's not for me?

0:33:20.440 --> 0:33:20.719
<v Speaker 5>Are you?

0:33:20.800 --> 0:33:22.240
<v Speaker 1>Are you pretending to be Lauren there?

0:33:22.880 --> 0:33:30.800
<v Speaker 2>No, it's amazing coincidence. It's kit it's kite season.

0:33:33.840 --> 0:33:36.320
<v Speaker 1>I would love to know how many if there is

0:33:36.360 --> 0:33:39.280
<v Speaker 1>any parent out there who genuinely has had a successful

0:33:39.360 --> 0:33:42.880
<v Speaker 1>day flying a kite with a toddler, do you exist?

0:33:42.280 --> 0:33:47.320
<v Speaker 2>The fuck thing is this is legitimately true. Is yesterday

0:33:47.360 --> 0:33:49.600
<v Speaker 2>we went up to this skate park that's like a

0:33:49.640 --> 0:33:52.160
<v Speaker 2>big park as well, but it's pretty quiet, and a

0:33:52.240 --> 0:33:57.719
<v Speaker 2>family comes along with their kite flies it perfectly like

0:33:58.280 --> 0:33:59.840
<v Speaker 2>I'm looking up at this thing.

0:34:00.000 --> 0:34:03.320
<v Speaker 1>Where they dress in suits, hair perfect? Are these people real?

0:34:03.440 --> 0:34:06.800
<v Speaker 2>Sweatbands was like a sport for them. Fantasting The kids

0:34:06.840 --> 0:34:10.439
<v Speaker 2>were like anyway, so maneuver that. I'm like, show off.

0:34:10.560 --> 0:34:12.640
<v Speaker 1>This is very heavy on the kite content. You know

0:34:12.680 --> 0:34:14.960
<v Speaker 1>when Bali they have those kites that fly above the

0:34:15.040 --> 0:34:18.080
<v Speaker 1>rice fields and they just sit there perfectly like no

0:34:18.080 --> 0:34:19.720
<v Speaker 1>one's even manning the kite.

0:34:19.719 --> 0:34:22.400
<v Speaker 2>It's scarecrows holding onto that thing like it's perfect.

0:34:23.160 --> 0:34:24.319
<v Speaker 4>Whenever that's what it was like.

0:34:24.360 --> 0:34:27.560
<v Speaker 1>Whenever I see that, that really entices me of like

0:34:27.800 --> 0:34:29.480
<v Speaker 1>my internally.

0:34:29.440 --> 0:34:31.080
<v Speaker 4>Is that your aviation.

0:34:32.120 --> 0:34:34.759
<v Speaker 1>Taps into that. My mouth starts watering and I'm like,

0:34:34.840 --> 0:34:36.560
<v Speaker 1>maybe I should get a kite. And then I speak

0:34:36.600 --> 0:34:37.720
<v Speaker 1>to you, you tie.

0:34:37.560 --> 0:34:41.799
<v Speaker 2>Your toddler up with the string and then throw it out.

0:34:42.120 --> 0:34:46.160
<v Speaker 2>I've hidden it at least anyway, that's a that's coincidence.

0:34:46.320 --> 0:34:47.640
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, talk about coincidence.

0:34:47.800 --> 0:34:50.880
<v Speaker 2>Definitely wasn't me. I do want to go through uh

0:34:51.480 --> 0:34:53.920
<v Speaker 2>someone saying this is only like yesterday or today.

0:34:54.600 --> 0:34:57.960
<v Speaker 1>But someone says, can I just say please, just really quickly.

0:34:58.880 --> 0:35:01.960
<v Speaker 1>I do read the m and I reply to people

0:35:02.360 --> 0:35:04.799
<v Speaker 1>and I enjoy it, and a lot of people say

0:35:05.040 --> 0:35:07.879
<v Speaker 1>when I reply, they go, I didn't think anyone would

0:35:07.880 --> 0:35:09.760
<v Speaker 1>reply to it, because.

0:35:09.520 --> 0:35:11.919
<v Speaker 2>See what I'm doing. I'm setting a standard and you're

0:35:12.080 --> 0:35:13.000
<v Speaker 2>do we.

0:35:12.880 --> 0:35:15.520
<v Speaker 1>Want to we want to hear from people message in

0:35:15.800 --> 0:35:18.279
<v Speaker 1>I'm there, and you won't hear from ash, You'll hear

0:35:18.320 --> 0:35:20.280
<v Speaker 1>from me, and I welcome them.

0:35:20.120 --> 0:35:23.320
<v Speaker 2>With open eye sign off that it's as I've seen.

0:35:23.160 --> 0:35:27.200
<v Speaker 1>Your fucking replies. You're like cool, story, thanks, whereas I'm like, ah,

0:35:27.360 --> 0:35:32.560
<v Speaker 1>tell me more, Susan, what's you lie? Tell me?

0:35:32.680 --> 0:35:33.080
<v Speaker 2>Okay?

0:35:33.120 --> 0:35:35.680
<v Speaker 4>So this is the this is you would know this.

0:35:36.040 --> 0:35:39.560
<v Speaker 2>It's a meme as well. Sometimes I put movies on

0:35:39.760 --> 0:35:42.440
<v Speaker 2>that are in Spanish, and when my kids get really

0:35:42.480 --> 0:35:45.879
<v Speaker 2>confused and ask why they can't understand it, I tell

0:35:45.920 --> 0:35:48.279
<v Speaker 2>them that they're just tie it and should probably take

0:35:48.280 --> 0:35:53.239
<v Speaker 2>a nap, right fucking brilliant, brilliant. But then when they

0:35:53.280 --> 0:35:55.240
<v Speaker 2>wake up from the nap, I put the same movie

0:35:55.280 --> 0:35:57.280
<v Speaker 2>on in English and they think they're better.

0:36:00.080 --> 0:36:02.000
<v Speaker 4>Well played, Bravo.

0:36:01.960 --> 0:36:04.879
<v Speaker 2>That's great. I think like, look, I'm going to give

0:36:04.920 --> 0:36:05.200
<v Speaker 2>it a go.

0:36:05.680 --> 0:36:10.520
<v Speaker 1>That's very manipulative. Yeah, you're a psychopathic and in an

0:36:10.520 --> 0:36:13.000
<v Speaker 1>impressive way. I'm not judging. I'm saying well done.

0:36:13.440 --> 0:36:16.400
<v Speaker 2>It's great. Yeah, I think that's outstanding parenting.

0:36:17.480 --> 0:36:18.680
<v Speaker 1>You have tried it, or you will try it.

0:36:18.719 --> 0:36:19.440
<v Speaker 4>I'm going to give a go.

0:36:19.800 --> 0:36:21.880
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, see what the outcome is.

0:36:21.920 --> 0:36:24.120
<v Speaker 1>I feel like Macy will be like, ash, you've just

0:36:24.160 --> 0:36:26.560
<v Speaker 1>put it on. Clearly it's in Portuguese, whereas Oskoo will

0:36:26.560 --> 0:36:27.560
<v Speaker 1>be like, oh my god.

0:36:27.960 --> 0:36:29.560
<v Speaker 2>They both come out speaking fluid.

0:36:29.560 --> 0:36:30.360
<v Speaker 4>Portuguese.

0:36:31.600 --> 0:36:34.720
<v Speaker 2>Will show you we can watch anything.

0:36:37.480 --> 0:36:40.239
<v Speaker 1>Alright, As before we go, we do have time, I

0:36:40.280 --> 0:36:44.279
<v Speaker 1>think very quickly. For some listener questions, love them. This

0:36:44.320 --> 0:36:47.040
<v Speaker 1>is what I would say. Oh my favorite part of

0:36:47.080 --> 0:36:47.719
<v Speaker 1>the podcast.

0:36:48.239 --> 0:36:50.760
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, mine's just getting to look at your face.

0:36:50.960 --> 0:36:55.720
<v Speaker 1>Ah, you uninterrupted, such a beautiful man. That's a lie. Okay.

0:36:55.800 --> 0:36:59.640
<v Speaker 1>Question number one is potty training? How the hell do

0:36:59.680 --> 0:37:00.360
<v Speaker 1>you do it.

0:37:02.080 --> 0:37:07.320
<v Speaker 2>On a women? A prayer? Look I've only potty trained

0:37:07.400 --> 0:37:12.080
<v Speaker 2>Oscar in the last three months before returning for let's

0:37:12.080 --> 0:37:16.759
<v Speaker 2>just say in the last six months. I'm still gonna wipe. Yeah,

0:37:17.000 --> 0:37:18.879
<v Speaker 2>last night I said to him, I might look next pooh,

0:37:18.920 --> 0:37:20.439
<v Speaker 2>you do give it a crack?

0:37:20.760 --> 0:37:24.319
<v Speaker 1>No, mate, you can't do that. It's it's because this

0:37:24.360 --> 0:37:27.120
<v Speaker 1>morning Marley was like, I'm gonna do a WII and

0:37:27.160 --> 0:37:29.920
<v Speaker 1>she's pretty good now, and we is like, yeah, fine,

0:37:29.960 --> 0:37:31.919
<v Speaker 1>I don't care like whether you wipe or you don't

0:37:31.920 --> 0:37:36.279
<v Speaker 1>wipe dry Yeah, yeah, fine. We went to daycare. I

0:37:36.320 --> 0:37:39.560
<v Speaker 1>came back and she'd gone through like two fucking toilet

0:37:39.640 --> 0:37:41.319
<v Speaker 1>rolls on the floor Like it was.

0:37:42.600 --> 0:37:44.239
<v Speaker 2>No, I'm going to ration the toilet. I'm gonna give

0:37:44.280 --> 0:37:48.000
<v Speaker 2>him a square. Ye make it work so that you have.

0:37:47.920 --> 0:37:50.840
<v Speaker 1>To you have to give them a limited supply. Marley

0:37:51.160 --> 0:37:53.520
<v Speaker 1>got into the She was just like going nuts.

0:37:53.600 --> 0:37:55.719
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, Macy does that, but she's just does it because

0:37:55.719 --> 0:37:56.120
<v Speaker 2>it's fun.

0:37:56.239 --> 0:37:57.359
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, I get it.

0:37:58.040 --> 0:38:00.520
<v Speaker 1>So what was can I ask Ash? What was what

0:38:00.600 --> 0:38:06.080
<v Speaker 1>was the kind of bribery signal? What was this signal?

0:38:06.239 --> 0:38:09.200
<v Speaker 1>Were you guys man, okay coolars ready for potty training?

0:38:09.840 --> 0:38:16.960
<v Speaker 2>Probably when I he pooped in an appy, right, I

0:38:17.000 --> 0:38:21.160
<v Speaker 2>opened it up, my finger slipped into it, and I

0:38:21.200 --> 0:38:24.800
<v Speaker 2>thought to myself, We're done. I'm not fucking doing this anymore.

0:38:25.520 --> 0:38:27.600
<v Speaker 2>You can get out of my house. No, I was like,

0:38:27.960 --> 0:38:31.759
<v Speaker 2>this is fucked. I was like, I'm essentially cleaning a

0:38:31.840 --> 0:38:33.360
<v Speaker 2>grown humans asshole.

0:38:33.480 --> 0:38:37.439
<v Speaker 4>I'm not a nurse anyway, and then I.

0:38:37.480 --> 0:38:42.040
<v Speaker 2>Just said, look, Originally he was petrified of the toilet,

0:38:42.440 --> 0:38:47.960
<v Speaker 2>like I'm talking, sitting there going crying, and I had

0:38:47.960 --> 0:38:50.279
<v Speaker 2>to either bribe him or threaten him that I'm going

0:38:50.320 --> 0:38:51.879
<v Speaker 2>to flush him down if he doesn't do it.

0:38:53.560 --> 0:38:55.400
<v Speaker 1>And then eventually we got that.

0:38:55.640 --> 0:38:56.160
<v Speaker 4>We got there.

0:38:56.160 --> 0:38:58.879
<v Speaker 2>Now he's like I always. He was like, I need

0:38:58.880 --> 0:38:59.399
<v Speaker 2>to do a pool.

0:38:59.440 --> 0:38:59.960
<v Speaker 4>I'm like oh.

0:39:00.120 --> 0:39:02.319
<v Speaker 2>Then and then it goes like two minutes later, it's

0:39:02.360 --> 0:39:03.040
<v Speaker 2>like I'm done.

0:39:03.080 --> 0:39:04.719
<v Speaker 4>I'm like, oh, I just fell out of you.

0:39:05.320 --> 0:39:05.919
<v Speaker 2>He likes that.

0:39:07.600 --> 0:39:10.279
<v Speaker 1>Little dad joke for it. I've still got a But

0:39:10.320 --> 0:39:14.640
<v Speaker 1>it's also the hardest part initially when they start, because

0:39:14.719 --> 0:39:17.560
<v Speaker 1>the first week, the first two weeks, it sucks. It's awful.

0:39:17.600 --> 0:39:19.799
<v Speaker 1>It's the pits because you just every twenty minutes you

0:39:19.800 --> 0:39:21.719
<v Speaker 1>have to take them to the toilet and go time

0:39:21.760 --> 0:39:24.480
<v Speaker 1>for a week and just like you'll sit there your wait.

0:39:24.920 --> 0:39:27.200
<v Speaker 1>You might get away. You might not next twenty minutes

0:39:27.239 --> 0:39:30.120
<v Speaker 1>go again, and you obviously forget it'll be like an

0:39:30.120 --> 0:39:32.000
<v Speaker 1>hour and you go shit and then you look at

0:39:32.000 --> 0:39:33.680
<v Speaker 1>it as a puddle on the floor. Yeah, you have

0:39:33.719 --> 0:39:36.400
<v Speaker 1>to prepare yourself for the fact that you have to

0:39:36.400 --> 0:39:39.120
<v Speaker 1>go everywhere with like three pairs of undies and pants.

0:39:39.320 --> 0:39:42.000
<v Speaker 1>And it also it sucks if you think you're going

0:39:42.040 --> 0:39:43.759
<v Speaker 1>to do a really quick car trip.

0:39:44.160 --> 0:39:45.480
<v Speaker 2>And then all of a sudden they're piss in the

0:39:45.560 --> 0:39:46.000
<v Speaker 2>seat and.

0:39:45.920 --> 0:39:47.359
<v Speaker 1>Then you're like, I've got been in the car for

0:39:47.400 --> 0:39:50.239
<v Speaker 1>like half an hour and you're like you look over

0:39:50.320 --> 0:39:52.880
<v Speaker 1>and you're like, oh, you've got to piss. Please, don't shit,

0:39:53.200 --> 0:39:56.239
<v Speaker 1>don't do it. Don't It's very stressful. It's a very

0:39:56.239 --> 0:39:57.040
<v Speaker 1>stressful period.

0:39:57.560 --> 0:40:00.160
<v Speaker 2>To shame them enough, they're not going to just do it.

0:40:01.760 --> 0:40:02.560
<v Speaker 2>So let's go with that.

0:40:03.160 --> 0:40:05.360
<v Speaker 1>And on that note, we'll go to the next question.

0:40:05.840 --> 0:40:12.000
<v Speaker 2>Matthew, is man flu a real thing or is it

0:40:12.040 --> 0:40:14.480
<v Speaker 2>an excuse to get out of your responsibilities.

0:40:14.760 --> 0:40:17.719
<v Speaker 1>Look, it's a very good question, and I will be

0:40:17.760 --> 0:40:20.160
<v Speaker 1>honest here. I'm going to let you in on some

0:40:20.239 --> 0:40:21.719
<v Speaker 1>medical knowledge.

0:40:21.560 --> 0:40:23.040
<v Speaker 4>That doctor Matthew J.

0:40:23.320 --> 0:40:23.760
<v Speaker 2>Johnson.

0:40:24.440 --> 0:40:26.520
<v Speaker 1>I can't remember where I read this, but it is

0:40:26.560 --> 0:40:30.680
<v Speaker 1>it's fact that man flu is a real thing. It's

0:40:31.000 --> 0:40:34.840
<v Speaker 1>I think on average diagnosed, medically diagnosed man flu is

0:40:34.920 --> 0:40:39.080
<v Speaker 1>three point five times more severe than a normal female flu.

0:40:39.680 --> 0:40:44.400
<v Speaker 2>Absolutely, it's there's not enough awareness. I would say I

0:40:44.600 --> 0:40:46.719
<v Speaker 2>liken it to childbirth. I would say it's on par

0:40:46.920 --> 0:40:49.400
<v Speaker 2>on par yeah, and we're gonna get canceled for that.

0:40:51.360 --> 0:40:54.560
<v Speaker 1>It's really pretty bad. I wish when I got the flu,

0:40:55.120 --> 0:40:57.759
<v Speaker 1>I don't want to lay in bed all day and

0:40:57.840 --> 0:41:00.359
<v Speaker 1>be on TikTok and Instagram. I want to be there

0:41:00.400 --> 0:41:02.400
<v Speaker 1>with Laura amazing.

0:41:03.800 --> 0:41:05.800
<v Speaker 2>In the trenches. Want to be in the trenches.

0:41:06.280 --> 0:41:08.239
<v Speaker 1>I want to be there as well, flying kites with

0:41:08.280 --> 0:41:11.200
<v Speaker 1>the kids in the park. I want that ash. I wish.

0:41:11.560 --> 0:41:14.600
<v Speaker 1>I wish I wasn't so ill that I cannot parent.

0:41:14.840 --> 0:41:19.000
<v Speaker 2>And look, I am very guilty of if I'm like

0:41:19.120 --> 0:41:21.879
<v Speaker 2>April's very like. April's like, oh, I'm not feeling well,

0:41:22.000 --> 0:41:24.640
<v Speaker 2>might go for a run, do a full days work,

0:41:24.880 --> 0:41:27.319
<v Speaker 2>go to the gym. I'm like, I'm not feeling well.

0:41:27.360 --> 0:41:29.040
<v Speaker 2>I'm not going to leave the bed today.

0:41:29.719 --> 0:41:34.279
<v Speaker 1>I think Laura is it like and at the drop

0:41:34.320 --> 0:41:37.160
<v Speaker 1>of a hat she will be absolutely fine, and then

0:41:37.200 --> 0:41:39.359
<v Speaker 1>she'll go, oh my god, I'm so queasy. Oh my god,

0:41:39.360 --> 0:41:40.759
<v Speaker 1>I think I'm gonna throw up. And I'm like, well

0:41:40.880 --> 0:41:43.720
<v Speaker 1>from what, like, what is it? We're like literally walking

0:41:43.760 --> 0:41:45.759
<v Speaker 1>on the pavement and she's like, oh my god, I'm

0:41:45.760 --> 0:41:48.719
<v Speaker 1>gonna throw up. Next thing. She's like, oh fine, fuck

0:41:48.760 --> 0:41:50.480
<v Speaker 1>did that rogue illness just come from?

0:41:50.680 --> 0:41:52.680
<v Speaker 2>And then she's brand new. It's like, you know what,

0:41:52.719 --> 0:41:55.080
<v Speaker 2>my immune system is even stronger.

0:41:54.640 --> 0:41:57.680
<v Speaker 1>Now there it is. Whereas I don't do that. When

0:41:57.680 --> 0:42:01.640
<v Speaker 1>I get sick, it happens, it's via, it's intense, and

0:42:01.680 --> 0:42:04.680
<v Speaker 1>it's over in a couple of days, Whereas Laura, I

0:42:04.760 --> 0:42:06.200
<v Speaker 1>also have to say that Laura is going to edit

0:42:06.280 --> 0:42:08.960
<v Speaker 1>this podcast. So I'll just take the opportunity, Laura to

0:42:09.000 --> 0:42:10.960
<v Speaker 1>tell you that I love you. You're amazing, You're beautiful, but

0:42:11.000 --> 0:42:13.520
<v Speaker 1>you're always sick and I'm fed up of it. But

0:42:13.560 --> 0:42:14.920
<v Speaker 1>I love you more than anything.

0:42:15.360 --> 0:42:18.120
<v Speaker 2>Okay, I would say, man, flu is one hundred percent real,

0:42:18.200 --> 0:42:21.680
<v Speaker 2>and it's an epidemic, and you need to give us

0:42:21.960 --> 0:42:23.280
<v Speaker 2>and every other man out.

0:42:23.080 --> 0:42:25.000
<v Speaker 1>There as much sympathy as possible.

0:42:25.040 --> 0:42:26.560
<v Speaker 2>As much sympathy is possible, should we.

0:42:26.520 --> 0:42:28.520
<v Speaker 1>Take a moment for all the men who may be

0:42:28.560 --> 0:42:35.279
<v Speaker 1>suffering suffer joke me off. What's the cue of the

0:42:35.320 --> 0:42:35.839
<v Speaker 1>bad flu?

0:42:36.360 --> 0:42:38.920
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, getting jerked off, Get jerked off, jerk it out

0:42:38.960 --> 0:42:39.239
<v Speaker 4>of me.

0:42:44.200 --> 0:42:47.200
<v Speaker 2>And on that, Matthew. That's all we get out of

0:42:47.239 --> 0:42:50.160
<v Speaker 2>it today.

0:42:51.000 --> 0:42:53.719
<v Speaker 1>There's only one thing that'll kill this man. We need

0:42:53.760 --> 0:42:54.799
<v Speaker 1>to jerk it out of him.

0:42:56.880 --> 0:43:02.239
<v Speaker 2>There on the hour, every hour, there's nothing coming out.

0:43:02.400 --> 0:43:03.360
<v Speaker 2>You've done your job.

0:43:05.600 --> 0:43:06.240
<v Speaker 1>Come back.

0:43:06.680 --> 0:43:07.600
<v Speaker 2>I'm sick again.

0:43:11.360 --> 0:43:12.680
<v Speaker 1>I really took a turn, didn't it.

0:43:13.360 --> 0:43:16.120
<v Speaker 2>Sure did. Anyway, that's all we have time for, and again,

0:43:16.200 --> 0:43:17.160
<v Speaker 2>thank you for joining us.

0:43:17.280 --> 0:43:23.000
<v Speaker 1>Leave a review, follow, subscribe if you have. If you'll

0:43:23.040 --> 0:43:25.680
<v Speaker 1>say I've said it before, I'll say it again. If

0:43:25.719 --> 0:43:29.200
<v Speaker 1>you give us a nice compliment on dms on Instagram,

0:43:29.400 --> 0:43:33.080
<v Speaker 1>they're pointless. It's not a good deed because I'm reading it.

0:43:33.480 --> 0:43:35.920
<v Speaker 1>No one else is. I need any love and affection

0:43:36.000 --> 0:43:39.480
<v Speaker 1>to be public. Okay, I'm very needy. I want to

0:43:39.560 --> 0:43:42.160
<v Speaker 1>know that you like us, So if you do want

0:43:42.200 --> 0:43:44.799
<v Speaker 1>to say something nice, there's only one place for it.

0:43:44.840 --> 0:43:46.160
<v Speaker 2>Even if you don't want to say anything nice, I

0:43:46.160 --> 0:43:47.160
<v Speaker 2>couldn't give two shits.

0:43:47.280 --> 0:43:49.920
<v Speaker 1>You know, it's karma. If you want good karma coming

0:43:49.960 --> 0:43:52.480
<v Speaker 1>your way, write a review on Apple Podcasts and.

0:43:52.680 --> 0:43:57.480
<v Speaker 2>Gon do a competition for the best review.

0:43:56.880 --> 0:43:59.440
<v Speaker 1>Genius marketing, Genius right.

0:44:00.360 --> 0:44:01.640
<v Speaker 2>I will jerk you off.

0:44:06.080 --> 0:44:19.200
<v Speaker 1>That you make sailer Kay