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Speaker 1: Have you ever been for a run and midway through

2
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Speaker 1: the run, thought I'm going to do a shit right now.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, it's something about running that compresses.

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Speaker 1: It, doesn't it right? And you start. I always I'm

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Speaker 1: a bit gassy on my runs. And then and then

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Speaker 1: I went for a run the other day and I

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Speaker 1: don't know if it's the fact that I've transitioned from

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Speaker 1: Fiji food to Aussie food, but I was like four

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Speaker 1: k's in and I was thinking, Fuck, I don't know

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Speaker 1: if I'm going to make it home or not. And

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Speaker 1: I was thinking, what am I going to do here?

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Speaker 1: Like what's my bush poo? What is my call of action?

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Speaker 1: I luckily you know when your body it knows there's

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Speaker 1: a toilet coming. And I saw.

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Speaker 2: Around It's like when you get to the front door, Like.

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Speaker 1: I saw a toilet in the park and I was like, okay,

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Speaker 1: we're on here. And I was like I was squeezing

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Speaker 1: the butt cheeks as much as I could, and there

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Speaker 1: was this old man was making his way also into

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Speaker 1: the toilet, and I was like running, sprinting.

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Speaker 2: Get the fuck out of the way.

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Speaker 1: I cut in and I beat him and there's one

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Speaker 1: cubicle and I don't normally do this, but I just

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Speaker 1: I had to just relax and let gravity take control, because.

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Speaker 2: Usually what you do is you wait for either the

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Speaker 2: people in there to leave because you know it's going

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Speaker 2: to be noisy, or them to hit their hand drug and.

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Speaker 1: You're like, oh, it came out afterwards, and he was

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Speaker 1: standing there waiting and I was just like, it's yours. Sorry,

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Speaker 1: it didn't flash either, restarted the garment and quite a

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Speaker 1: good pace.

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Speaker 3: Home, really unloaded the carver.

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Speaker 1: Welcome back to Two Day Dads, Iron Mattie Jay and

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Speaker 1: this is a podcast that happens to be all about parenting.

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Speaker 2: The good, the bad, and the relatable.

36
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Speaker 1: And as always, there is no advice being given, a

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Speaker 1: real advice sometimes advice accidental. Nine percent of the time

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Speaker 1: no advice. There may be like one rand nugget that

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Speaker 1: will pop up that not even ash and I knew.

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Speaker 2: It was advice.

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Speaker 1: Ashton.

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Speaker 2: Yes, Matthew, something a little bit different.

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Speaker 1: This morning. We are going to crack a better beer.

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Speaker 1: But we're doing it for a very special reason. They

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Speaker 1: call it, well, it's the ultimate treasure hunt this month.

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Speaker 1: And you know you love a treasure hunt, ash more

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Speaker 1: than anybody love it. And you know you're not doing

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Speaker 1: dry July. You also are currently still unemployed, is that right?

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Speaker 2: So this is my job now, my job, this is

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Speaker 2: right up your alley.

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Speaker 4: Exactly right.

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Speaker 2: And they've hidden two bitcoins in especially Mark cases from

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Speaker 2: Dan Murphy's and BWS of the zero Carb original better Beard.

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Speaker 1: Now, I just I hate the fact that I've gone,

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Speaker 1: I'm still doing dry July. So I've got I've got

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Speaker 1: the zero out, which is that's not in the running.

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Speaker 1: It's just just.

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Speaker 2: The original, right which you've got zero carb yep, yep. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: So especially Mark pact, they've hidden two bitcoins. Okay, I

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Speaker 2: don't know how they've hidden them in there. I mean bitcoin,

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Speaker 2: it's not a physical currency.

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Speaker 1: We asked for details and they wouldn't tell us. I

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Speaker 1: think partly because they thought that we were going to

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Speaker 1: try and it's not.

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Speaker 2: Going to be like one of those silly worm cans

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Speaker 2: where you crack it and like the They're like, I'm

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Speaker 2: not sure, but they're worth about forty five thousand dollars

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Speaker 2: each at the moment.

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Speaker 1: And they say that when you open it, they said,

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Speaker 1: you will know that's obvious.

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Speaker 2: You will know best to also check the t's and c's. Now,

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Speaker 2: Unfortunately the Nanny States aren't involved. That's South Australia Act

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Speaker 2: and the Northern Territory.

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Speaker 5: Sorry about that, guys sucked in.

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Speaker 2: Now I have a original here from especially Mark case.

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Speaker 1: Okay, so we got to Can I just confirm if

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Speaker 1: you crack that and you have a bitcoin in it?

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Speaker 1: Are we going fifty to fifty? Your house is going

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Speaker 1: to work?

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Speaker 2: Tell no, because if I go fifteen to fifty threers,

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Speaker 2: I'm going to get home.

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Speaker 4: I've got to go fifty to fifty with my wife

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Speaker 4: with what's left.

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Speaker 1: Don't tell her.

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Speaker 2: She's gonna hear that.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, we're just okay, fuck all right, you met April.

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Speaker 1: We're going thirds.

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Speaker 2: Laura doesn't need the money.

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Speaker 1: Here we go, is it? Okay?

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Speaker 2: Man? Technically I'm still winning because it's ten am on

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Speaker 2: a Monday morning.

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Speaker 1: Hope open another one. We're not leaving here. We're not

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Speaker 1: leaving here until you finish the whole case.

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Speaker 2: Okay, beautiful.

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Speaker 1: I do have to say only for the month of July. Yes,

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Speaker 1: those playing at home July, and.

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Speaker 2: Yes, drink responsibly. Of course.

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Speaker 4: You can check out the website better bee dot.

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Speaker 2: Com dot are you get the full teas and c's

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Speaker 2: find the bottle shop near you, BWS d is. Let's

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Speaker 2: get into the episode, let's get stuck in passion.

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Speaker 1: Is good to see you, mate. I know I missed you.

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Speaker 2: I know you've been on holda I've been on your

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Speaker 2: honeymoon with your kids.

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Speaker 1: Did you you miss me?

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Speaker 2: Sure?

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Speaker 1: Well, you fucking messaged me enough.

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Speaker 2: I messaged you and rang you enough, and well, look,

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Speaker 2: always in the marketplace, things never stop. Just because you're

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Speaker 2: on holidays doesn't mean the rest of the world is.

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Speaker 2: But I did want to bring something up. Now, you

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Speaker 2: were on your honeymoon, but also on your honeymoon, you

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Speaker 2: had your birthday, and I missed the opportunity to have

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Speaker 2: a bee with you on your birth I have a

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Speaker 2: bee with you now, yours is a zero HOURC And

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Speaker 2: I thought, what am I going to get? What do

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Speaker 2: I get the man who has everything for his birthday?

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Speaker 1: And you know you didn't have to get me anything.

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Speaker 2: I've been doing some digging, did some digging. I found

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Speaker 2: out from your lovely wife that your favorite actress is

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Speaker 2: Nicole Kidman.

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Speaker 1: It's not true. Did you say that?

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Speaker 2: Yes? But I thought, what do I get the man

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Speaker 2: who has everything? And I thought I'd love to get

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Speaker 2: a personalized message from Nicole Kidman. Matthew. Now, Nicle Kidmen's

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Speaker 2: a very busy lady, a lot, she's got a lot.

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Speaker 4: On, so she's outsourced it.

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Speaker 2: She's outsourced my request and I've managed to get you

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Speaker 2: what I think he is a very very good birthday present.

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Speaker 4: So if you'd like to press play on that one, Matthew.

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Speaker 1: The.

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Speaker 6: Happy Bethday mag G love from your favorite actress, Nicole Kidman.

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Speaker 4: Happy Birthday mate.

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Speaker 1: Wow.

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Speaker 2: I told you she's a busy lady, So for her

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Speaker 2: to actually book that in and get that personalized for you.

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Speaker 1: I'm speechless. You have really outdone yourself here. How much

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Speaker 1: should that cost?

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Speaker 2: Priceless priceless memories?

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Speaker 1: What is it like fifty bucks?

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Speaker 2: What do you find that something like that?

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Speaker 1: That's what I'm touched.

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Speaker 2: I didn't know you were such a big fan of

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Speaker 2: Nicle Kidman. I hate her.

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Speaker 1: Every movie that has Nicole Kidman is just Nicole Kidman

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Speaker 1: playing a character.

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Speaker 2: She's never the character. But if Nicole, she's an Australian sweetheart,

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Speaker 2: and you hate an Australian sweetheart. And I said to Laura,

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Speaker 2: I said.

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Speaker 4: Who does he hate?

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Speaker 2: And she has to go to someone, so uber famous

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Speaker 2: that it's never going to happen and ruin my plan?

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Speaker 1: Did you message it?

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Speaker 2: No? I just messaged the African dancers and they were like,

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Speaker 2: we'll do it.

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Speaker 1: What's that on? How do you even booked them?

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Speaker 2: It's top secret. They're close friends of mine.

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Speaker 1: Very good, all topless, all topless?

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Speaker 4: Also is the photo of you?

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Speaker 1: Yeah? Do you reckon? They were like, what the fuck

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Speaker 1: is this?

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Speaker 2: Probably when they saw Nicole Kimmen they were like, probably

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Speaker 2: put it in their like.

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Speaker 4: Portfolio of famous p people who have booked them.

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Speaker 2: So I've done a few people favors here.

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Speaker 1: Do you request them to include the photo or is

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Speaker 1: that part of the package.

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Speaker 2: That's part of the package. Love that and thank you

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Speaker 2: Keish for the photo.

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Speaker 1: What month is your birthday?

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Speaker 2: I'm not telling I fucking tell us because I did

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Speaker 2: the research on you. I even chat GPT and it

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Speaker 2: gave me the wrong date. Remember it's had me April.

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Speaker 4: My definitely wasn't you am?

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Speaker 1: I are? We am? I close? I've got three four months.

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Speaker 2: Where you're very clause.

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Speaker 1: Give me all yours is coming up? Okay? Who is

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Speaker 1: your favorite actor?

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Speaker 2: Oh got to be Steve Carrell.

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Speaker 1: Leave it.

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Speaker 2: We got a lot of work to do my friend

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Speaker 2: believe it anyway, happy birthday.

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Speaker 4: I was going to get them to say happy fortieth birthday.

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Speaker 2: I thought that might be a bit of a dig, a.

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Speaker 1: Little prank start. Why why didn't you do that? What

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Speaker 1: made you stop?

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Speaker 2: I was drunk and I forgot?

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Speaker 1: Well, thank you.

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Speaker 2: It's classic move from me. Though.

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Speaker 1: It's good to be back. It's good to be back.

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Speaker 2: I think it was nice to have you back.

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Speaker 1: I think we had to the first two days of

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Speaker 1: the trip, we didn't really speak, and then I think

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Speaker 1: we spoke pretty much every couple of hours after that.

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Speaker 4: What's happening?

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Speaker 1: Laura would always be like, I'd have like a little

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Speaker 1: like sneaker to myself as I was looking at my phone,

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Speaker 1: and then Laura's like, is that Ash, who are you messaging? Yeah?

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Speaker 2: Yep, but it's it was good, a good trip, trip,

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Speaker 2: good look, I mean, I mean, Fiji's beautiful.

201
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Speaker 1: Fiji is lovely, Ash.

202
00:10:05,800 --> 00:10:07,760
Speaker 2: It really is not too far away.

203
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Speaker 1: For our flight, which is just the absolute dream. Before

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Speaker 1: before we went on the trip, Laura was, you know,

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Speaker 1: she was very excited. It's a honeymoon, okay, And like

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Speaker 1: all good honeymoons, you want to have a bit of

207
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Speaker 1: sexy time, oh yeah. And both Laura and myself extremely

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Speaker 1: busy in a couple of weeks leading up to the

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Speaker 1: date that we left. So you know, for us pre trip.

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Speaker 2: No sexy time, just dancing with the stars.

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Speaker 1: We couldn't get dancing with the stars was the priority,

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Speaker 1: and so me and Laura were like, Hey, when we

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Speaker 1: get to Fiji, we're gonna.

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Speaker 2: Lock the kids in a cupboard somewhere.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, we're gonna get it on.

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Speaker 2: We'll only been there for a couple of minutes, so it's.

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Speaker 1: Maybe six seven at the absolute most. But Laura and

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Speaker 1: I were thinking, we're going to have like daytime sex.

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Speaker 1: We're gonna have sex, you know, like in the bedroom,

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Speaker 1: we're gonna have We're going to check in and at

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Speaker 1: reception pretty much have sex there. Like we're just going

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Speaker 1: to the whole time. We're like, yeah, oh my gosh.

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Speaker 1: And we've got we've got this great little infinity pool

224
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Speaker 1: and you know, maybe maybe we'll have a little frisker

225
00:11:08,800 --> 00:11:11,720
Speaker 1: session in there, who knows, who knows, But we're gonna

226
00:11:12,120 --> 00:11:14,360
Speaker 1: we're gonna make sure that we like work our way

227
00:11:14,400 --> 00:11:17,920
Speaker 1: around the island in the apartment, out outside the apartment,

228
00:11:18,200 --> 00:11:20,760
Speaker 1: and that was the plan. And we get on the

229
00:11:20,760 --> 00:11:23,800
Speaker 1: plane leaving Sydney and then Laura looks at me with

230
00:11:23,840 --> 00:11:28,120
Speaker 1: a really concerned expression on her face, and I was thinking, funk,

231
00:11:28,480 --> 00:11:30,600
Speaker 1: what have we forgotten? You know, what are we you

232
00:11:30,640 --> 00:11:32,959
Speaker 1: know what's going on? And she goes, I've got my period.

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00:11:33,120 --> 00:11:36,160
Speaker 2: Oh my god, period.

234
00:11:35,640 --> 00:11:37,920
Speaker 1: Of day one of the trip.

235
00:11:38,320 --> 00:11:39,320
Speaker 2: Yeah.

236
00:11:39,400 --> 00:11:42,720
Speaker 1: Yeah, And I was like, Okay, it's such a buzz kill.

237
00:11:42,840 --> 00:11:43,880
Speaker 1: It's a bit of a buzz kill.

238
00:11:44,200 --> 00:11:48,080
Speaker 2: It sucks more for them. I should just add that

239
00:11:48,160 --> 00:11:50,440
Speaker 2: in there. But look, yeah, buzz kill.

240
00:11:51,080 --> 00:11:56,040
Speaker 1: But I was like, look, it's a small little bumper here. Yeah,

241
00:11:56,520 --> 00:11:59,040
Speaker 1: we're not going to let this ruin the true.

242
00:11:59,080 --> 00:12:00,200
Speaker 4: Jerk me out. It's fine.

243
00:12:02,800 --> 00:12:06,520
Speaker 1: But then but then we get to Fiji and we've

244
00:12:06,520 --> 00:12:09,640
Speaker 1: been watching the weather at the whole time. You know,

245
00:12:09,760 --> 00:12:12,280
Speaker 1: you're like, what's it going to be like weather? Yeah,

246
00:12:12,320 --> 00:12:15,840
Speaker 1: every second of the day. And it was beautiful, sunny

247
00:12:16,040 --> 00:12:19,280
Speaker 1: every single day. Well there tops of twenty nine ah

248
00:12:19,480 --> 00:12:23,600
Speaker 1: coming out of winter. Perfect day one. Because we land

249
00:12:23,640 --> 00:12:27,200
Speaker 1: in Fiji pretty late, like we get in just on sunset.

250
00:12:27,280 --> 00:12:31,280
Speaker 1: So next morning we wake up it's howling wind toweling,

251
00:12:31,480 --> 00:12:35,479
Speaker 1: it's fucking like twenty two degrees, which is not a disaster,

252
00:12:36,440 --> 00:12:39,080
Speaker 1: but it's just not you can't comfortably sit by the pool.

253
00:12:39,679 --> 00:12:40,439
Speaker 2: Too much wind.

254
00:12:40,520 --> 00:12:43,360
Speaker 1: Too much wind. You don't want wind on a honeymoon.

255
00:12:43,000 --> 00:12:45,400
Speaker 2: No period and win women hate wind.

256
00:12:46,200 --> 00:12:49,400
Speaker 1: Mate, myself included, Yeah, oh you got hair? Yeah mate,

257
00:12:49,440 --> 00:12:52,960
Speaker 1: this this thing. I want to be looking good. So

258
00:12:53,000 --> 00:12:54,679
Speaker 1: we're like, hey, this is fine, this is fine. I

259
00:12:54,720 --> 00:12:57,120
Speaker 1: drop the kids in kids club and we're like, we

260
00:12:57,160 --> 00:12:58,600
Speaker 1: can we can go for a sing by the pool.

261
00:12:59,320 --> 00:13:02,120
Speaker 1: No one is by the pool because it's just it's

262
00:13:02,160 --> 00:13:03,160
Speaker 1: not pool weather.

263
00:13:03,559 --> 00:13:06,160
Speaker 2: It's cyclone and the cyclone season.

264
00:13:06,600 --> 00:13:09,439
Speaker 1: And then we pick up Marley that afternoon from kids club.

265
00:13:10,120 --> 00:13:11,559
Speaker 1: She's got conjunctive itists.

266
00:13:11,559 --> 00:13:15,240
Speaker 2: Oh fuck, say yeah from kids club you reckon?

267
00:13:15,360 --> 00:13:19,280
Speaker 1: Yeah, well you know it's daycare. I don't know she's

268
00:13:19,280 --> 00:13:21,720
Speaker 1: she's this thing, had just been lurking there. And then

269
00:13:21,760 --> 00:13:24,920
Speaker 1: it's like, and why does it come out as soon

270
00:13:24,920 --> 00:13:30,400
Speaker 1: as we go overseas nightmare? Nightmare, next day, ash next day.

271
00:13:30,720 --> 00:13:34,360
Speaker 1: I should mention also the fact that Lola really allergic

272
00:13:34,360 --> 00:13:36,679
Speaker 1: to mosquito bites. They just they flare up.

273
00:13:36,800 --> 00:13:37,600
Speaker 2: Is that what that wants?

274
00:13:37,640 --> 00:13:38,439
Speaker 1: Did you see that photo?

275
00:13:38,720 --> 00:13:38,920
Speaker 2: Yeah?

276
00:13:38,960 --> 00:13:41,000
Speaker 4: I was like, but young for acne.

277
00:13:42,880 --> 00:13:45,319
Speaker 1: The first night she woke up in the morning and

278
00:13:45,360 --> 00:13:48,240
Speaker 1: she'd just been like six or seven mosquito bites all

279
00:13:48,280 --> 00:13:50,360
Speaker 1: over her face. They were fine in the morning, but

280
00:13:50,440 --> 00:13:53,200
Speaker 1: as the day progress they start to flare up. So

281
00:13:53,240 --> 00:13:55,439
Speaker 1: I'm thinking to myself, this is a holiday that we've

282
00:13:55,480 --> 00:13:59,760
Speaker 1: been excited for for fucking months, and I'm like, this

283
00:13:59,840 --> 00:14:02,640
Speaker 1: is going to be a disaster. Is this going to

284
00:14:02,679 --> 00:14:05,840
Speaker 1: be I'm like, we're trying to stay positive, like this.

285
00:14:05,760 --> 00:14:08,560
Speaker 2: Is your day too, and already a few things have

286
00:14:08,640 --> 00:14:09,080
Speaker 2: gone wrong.

287
00:14:09,200 --> 00:14:12,400
Speaker 1: This is going to be good. It got better. It

288
00:14:12,440 --> 00:14:17,880
Speaker 1: got better. The weather clear period. We worked through that

289
00:14:17,960 --> 00:14:19,200
Speaker 1: issue and we're going to.

290
00:14:19,160 --> 00:14:25,160
Speaker 2: Details, Please don't. I do not need to know, but but.

291
00:14:25,200 --> 00:14:28,240
Speaker 1: Yeah, rocky start. But then it came good the weather.

292
00:14:28,240 --> 00:14:30,440
Speaker 1: The weather was beautiful, and it was just we had

293
00:14:30,480 --> 00:14:33,280
Speaker 1: an epic nanny as well that you can We booked

294
00:14:33,280 --> 00:14:36,080
Speaker 1: through the villa and kids Club. I wasn't sure if

295
00:14:36,080 --> 00:14:38,200
Speaker 1: the kids would hate it or be into it, but

296
00:14:39,200 --> 00:14:41,640
Speaker 1: too bad. They loved it.

297
00:14:41,960 --> 00:14:48,080
Speaker 2: Because what Lola is too in a bit, so we.

298
00:14:47,200 --> 00:14:49,120
Speaker 4: You just to she's as big as a four year old.

299
00:14:49,160 --> 00:14:50,840
Speaker 1: She yeah, She's like, like, how old is she?

300
00:14:50,840 --> 00:14:52,120
Speaker 2: She's seven, she's fifteen?

301
00:14:52,360 --> 00:14:55,600
Speaker 1: Send her in. But we went with Laura's sister, so

302
00:14:55,640 --> 00:14:58,680
Speaker 1: she has Laura's sister has two kids. With our two kids,

303
00:14:58,680 --> 00:15:00,440
Speaker 1: they all kind of went as a team, plus the

304
00:15:00,520 --> 00:15:05,720
Speaker 1: nanny as well, so they were fine. You know, I

305
00:15:05,760 --> 00:15:09,400
Speaker 1: feel like you have to adjust to living on the island,

306
00:15:09,440 --> 00:15:10,520
Speaker 1: you know, the island time.

307
00:15:10,800 --> 00:15:13,440
Speaker 4: Yeah, they definitely operate on their own clock.

308
00:15:13,520 --> 00:15:16,880
Speaker 1: They're very chilled. They're very chilled. And I remember we

309
00:15:16,960 --> 00:15:19,800
Speaker 1: dropped them off at kids club. Said to the nanny, Hey,

310
00:15:20,000 --> 00:15:24,280
Speaker 1: just so you know, Lola and Tazzy that's Laura's sister's kid,

311
00:15:24,360 --> 00:15:28,120
Speaker 1: the similar age. They come back at midday for a nap.

312
00:15:28,160 --> 00:15:30,240
Speaker 1: They'll have like an hour and a half nap. Is

313
00:15:30,280 --> 00:15:31,760
Speaker 1: that all right? And she's like, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's

314
00:15:31,760 --> 00:15:34,200
Speaker 1: totally fine, not a problem. So you know when you

315
00:15:34,240 --> 00:15:37,600
Speaker 1: come back, come back at midday, nap time, all sorted,

316
00:15:37,760 --> 00:15:39,240
Speaker 1: thumbs up, we're locked in.

317
00:15:39,360 --> 00:15:40,320
Speaker 2: Good for the afternoon.

318
00:15:40,520 --> 00:15:42,640
Speaker 1: Yeah, And then we're chilling in the villa. It's like

319
00:15:42,680 --> 00:15:44,960
Speaker 1: twelve fifteen and we think, oh shit, they're not they're

320
00:15:44,960 --> 00:15:47,400
Speaker 1: not back yet. It's not massive, but to get around

321
00:15:47,720 --> 00:15:50,960
Speaker 1: you have to call a buggy from reception. And I

322
00:15:51,040 --> 00:15:53,240
Speaker 1: messaged the nanny because we were on WhatsApp with them

323
00:15:53,560 --> 00:15:55,640
Speaker 1: and I say, hey, you're good to come back. It's

324
00:15:55,640 --> 00:15:58,840
Speaker 1: twelve fifteen. Now the kids need a nap, and she's like, yeah, yeah,

325
00:15:58,920 --> 00:16:01,960
Speaker 1: I'm currently organizing the kids. I'll be back in a second.

326
00:16:02,120 --> 00:16:05,240
Speaker 1: Like goog great. It's like twelve thirty still no kids.

327
00:16:05,880 --> 00:16:09,200
Speaker 1: And you know if anyone who doesn't have kids, they

328
00:16:09,240 --> 00:16:10,840
Speaker 1: are they run on a strict routine.

329
00:16:11,280 --> 00:16:13,720
Speaker 2: You know, it gets there, you've stuffed the routine up,

330
00:16:13,760 --> 00:16:16,800
Speaker 2: your stuff, your whole afternoon up, and they get cranky.

331
00:16:16,960 --> 00:16:19,800
Speaker 1: Right, and it's like, you know, kids are fine until

332
00:16:19,840 --> 00:16:22,840
Speaker 1: eleven fifty eleven fifty five, they're like, I'm gonna go

333
00:16:22,920 --> 00:16:23,560
Speaker 1: to fucking sleep.

334
00:16:23,840 --> 00:16:25,080
Speaker 4: Yeah, I'm tired now.

335
00:16:25,320 --> 00:16:28,160
Speaker 1: Anyway, I'm calling it now on what's happen, being like, hey,

336
00:16:28,440 --> 00:16:30,240
Speaker 1: just seeing where you are, and she's like, I'm just

337
00:16:30,240 --> 00:16:31,920
Speaker 1: waiting on a buggy. I'll be there in a second.

338
00:16:32,360 --> 00:16:34,160
Speaker 1: So by the time the kids come back, it's like

339
00:16:34,280 --> 00:16:36,600
Speaker 1: one o'clock. And then after the kids go to bed,

340
00:16:36,720 --> 00:16:39,239
Speaker 1: I pull the babysitter aside and I'm like, hey.

341
00:16:39,000 --> 00:16:44,160
Speaker 2: Discipline there, and I didn't want to be that strict.

342
00:16:44,320 --> 00:16:48,119
Speaker 2: She obviously doesn't understand that, like it's so vitally important

343
00:16:48,200 --> 00:16:50,840
Speaker 2: for something maybe with Island kids, it's not so important,

344
00:16:50,840 --> 00:16:51,440
Speaker 2: but I don't know.

345
00:16:52,040 --> 00:16:54,080
Speaker 1: But yeah, So I was like, I just want to

346
00:16:54,120 --> 00:16:56,080
Speaker 1: explain to her. I was like, you know, it's now

347
00:16:56,120 --> 00:16:58,400
Speaker 1: one o'clock, it's an now past their bedtime. We just

348
00:16:58,400 --> 00:16:59,640
Speaker 1: really need to make sure that we get them in

349
00:16:59,680 --> 00:17:03,920
Speaker 1: bed by midday. And she's like, nah, no, it's okay.

350
00:17:06,080 --> 00:17:07,400
Speaker 4: She's gone rogue.

351
00:17:07,920 --> 00:17:10,879
Speaker 1: And I was like, oh no. The thing is like,

352
00:17:10,960 --> 00:17:13,359
Speaker 1: it's not okay because they really have to be in

353
00:17:13,400 --> 00:17:15,960
Speaker 1: bed by a certain time. And I was like, trying

354
00:17:16,000 --> 00:17:17,480
Speaker 1: to be really polite to her. She looks at me

355
00:17:17,520 --> 00:17:19,919
Speaker 1: and she goes, nah, no.

356
00:17:20,160 --> 00:17:24,280
Speaker 2: It's all good, and you politely sucked her on the spot.

357
00:17:24,760 --> 00:17:27,040
Speaker 1: I was like, how can I how can I be

358
00:17:27,080 --> 00:17:31,520
Speaker 1: more more than you? She was like, shut up, You're

359
00:17:31,560 --> 00:17:32,159
Speaker 1: on an island.

360
00:17:32,240 --> 00:17:34,439
Speaker 4: She's probably raised about fifteen kids.

361
00:17:35,640 --> 00:17:37,800
Speaker 2: Who's this white bolly trying to tell me how to

362
00:17:37,840 --> 00:17:39,040
Speaker 2: look after these kids?

363
00:17:39,240 --> 00:17:42,920
Speaker 1: Literally, I was like, well, I guess hey, we're all good.

364
00:17:42,960 --> 00:17:45,359
Speaker 2: And the thing is with the with with like the

365
00:17:45,359 --> 00:17:49,200
Speaker 2: Fijian they're always lovely lady.

366
00:17:49,480 --> 00:17:52,120
Speaker 1: She's like beautiful. Kids loved her. Yeah.

367
00:17:52,359 --> 00:17:54,760
Speaker 2: It was funny because one of the teachers that kind

368
00:17:54,840 --> 00:17:59,399
Speaker 2: us is a Fijian Calisia Feli something like that. Lovely amazing,

369
00:17:59,600 --> 00:18:01,280
Speaker 2: And when we went to feed you with the kids,

370
00:18:02,000 --> 00:18:06,320
Speaker 2: Oscar was like just calling all of them Calise obviously

371
00:18:06,480 --> 00:18:10,080
Speaker 2: so young doesn't understand, but like yeah, they probably just

372
00:18:10,200 --> 00:18:13,200
Speaker 2: like we don't work on no your schedules, bro.

373
00:18:13,920 --> 00:18:16,440
Speaker 1: Even there was a few nights where so we would

374
00:18:16,480 --> 00:18:18,760
Speaker 1: normally have her until like five o'clock and then a

375
00:18:18,800 --> 00:18:21,600
Speaker 1: few nights we wanted to have a nice parent evening

376
00:18:21,800 --> 00:18:24,320
Speaker 1: kids away at home, and so we would book her,

377
00:18:24,440 --> 00:18:27,280
Speaker 1: but the last she would go back to the mainland.

378
00:18:27,320 --> 00:18:30,040
Speaker 1: So the last boat was at nine thirty, Okay, yeah, yeah,

379
00:18:30,080 --> 00:18:31,760
Speaker 1: and so we kind of what time do you need

380
00:18:31,800 --> 00:18:33,600
Speaker 1: to be down at the jettie bi to get that

381
00:18:33,680 --> 00:18:36,720
Speaker 1: boat and she's like, ah, She's like, if you're back

382
00:18:36,760 --> 00:18:39,479
Speaker 1: by like nine thirty, that's fine. And we were like, oh,

383
00:18:39,520 --> 00:18:42,680
Speaker 1: but isn't the last boat at nine thirty And she's

384
00:18:42,720 --> 00:18:45,360
Speaker 1: like yeah, and we're like, so, but if we're back

385
00:18:45,359 --> 00:18:48,680
Speaker 1: at nine thirty, you have to get down to the

386
00:18:48,720 --> 00:18:51,480
Speaker 1: jetty and she's like, yeah, nine thirty five, nine forty,

387
00:18:51,600 --> 00:18:53,120
Speaker 1: like whatever, Like.

388
00:18:53,320 --> 00:18:55,400
Speaker 2: We knows them that she probably knows that that way,

389
00:18:55,960 --> 00:18:58,840
Speaker 2: they probably know she's there totally. They're probably thinking no

390
00:18:59,280 --> 00:19:00,800
Speaker 2: nanny left by right.

391
00:19:02,040 --> 00:19:04,720
Speaker 1: I think the first two or three days, I think

392
00:19:04,760 --> 00:19:06,760
Speaker 1: everyone's just saying they come in and they're like, you know,

393
00:19:06,880 --> 00:19:08,560
Speaker 1: fucking Sydney people so high stretch.

394
00:19:08,560 --> 00:19:10,280
Speaker 2: It's probably used to dealing with you.

395
00:19:10,440 --> 00:19:13,040
Speaker 1: Yeah, where are my kids?

396
00:19:13,960 --> 00:19:14,280
Speaker 2: Fifteen?

397
00:19:14,400 --> 00:19:17,160
Speaker 1: She's like, shut up. But it was good. Kids loved

398
00:19:17,160 --> 00:19:20,200
Speaker 1: her weather. It was amazing. Laura and I on the

399
00:19:20,280 --> 00:19:23,040
Speaker 1: day of my birthday, she organized the snorkel trip. So

400
00:19:23,119 --> 00:19:25,320
Speaker 1: we had like three and three and a half hours

401
00:19:25,359 --> 00:19:28,000
Speaker 1: just just Laura and me on a boat and it

402
00:19:28,080 --> 00:19:29,200
Speaker 1: was fucking beautiful.

403
00:19:29,240 --> 00:19:30,040
Speaker 4: Did you hit the carver?

404
00:19:30,760 --> 00:19:31,920
Speaker 1: We didn't know there was a carver?

405
00:19:32,280 --> 00:19:34,760
Speaker 2: Did I just see some video of you like dancing

406
00:19:34,800 --> 00:19:37,080
Speaker 2: around like you buddy, you're possessed?

407
00:19:37,160 --> 00:19:41,520
Speaker 1: No, that was I was on the rosees Rose Carver.

408
00:19:41,680 --> 00:19:46,920
Speaker 1: It's yeah, traditional Fiji and Rose got me good.

409
00:19:47,240 --> 00:19:48,760
Speaker 2: Twenty three dollars a glass.

410
00:19:50,240 --> 00:19:52,879
Speaker 1: I was like, do we get the drinks package? But

411
00:19:53,160 --> 00:19:54,960
Speaker 1: it was great, it was great. I am you know,

412
00:19:55,000 --> 00:19:57,280
Speaker 1: I love I love Snorkel. You do it? I love.

413
00:19:57,480 --> 00:19:58,200
Speaker 4: I can't do it.

414
00:19:58,359 --> 00:19:59,760
Speaker 2: What do you mean I can't do it?

415
00:20:00,000 --> 00:20:02,160
Speaker 1: I can't swim or I can swim?

416
00:20:02,160 --> 00:20:07,000
Speaker 2: Fine, thank you. It's the snorkeling for me, which part

417
00:20:07,400 --> 00:20:11,080
Speaker 2: just the whole thing, I don't know. I can't I

418
00:20:11,119 --> 00:20:13,560
Speaker 2: find that I can't breathe in it. So a few

419
00:20:13,600 --> 00:20:16,679
Speaker 2: years ago before kids, April and I did like a

420
00:20:16,720 --> 00:20:21,200
Speaker 2: big trip through Southeast Asia, like four months through Southeast Asia,

421
00:20:21,280 --> 00:20:23,359
Speaker 2: and we went to Cambodia, and the south coast to

422
00:20:23,359 --> 00:20:27,640
Speaker 2: Cambodia is beautiful anyway you can go out really cheap

423
00:20:27,680 --> 00:20:29,200
Speaker 2: to island hopping and snorkeling.

424
00:20:29,359 --> 00:20:30,919
Speaker 4: We hired like a boat for like it was like

425
00:20:30,960 --> 00:20:31,760
Speaker 4: a hundred.

426
00:20:31,440 --> 00:20:36,480
Speaker 2: Bucks for like the whole day beautiful fishing, like swimming beautiful,

427
00:20:36,600 --> 00:20:38,200
Speaker 2: and one it was snorkeling.

428
00:20:38,240 --> 00:20:41,800
Speaker 1: But at this point you'd snorkeled before, right, It wasn't

429
00:20:41,840 --> 00:20:44,160
Speaker 1: as if you were I'd snorkeled before.

430
00:20:44,200 --> 00:20:46,920
Speaker 2: But same thing. I just find I can't breathe through

431
00:20:46,960 --> 00:20:51,800
Speaker 2: the tube. Gotcha, there's not enough oxygen for me. I like,

432
00:20:54,720 --> 00:20:55,360
Speaker 2: this is how you.

433
00:20:55,320 --> 00:20:57,439
Speaker 4: Do it anyway?

434
00:20:57,760 --> 00:20:58,840
Speaker 1: How long can you last?

435
00:20:59,119 --> 00:21:01,520
Speaker 2: About ten seconds? Like give me.

436
00:21:03,040 --> 00:21:04,760
Speaker 4: Whenever I go snork and I usually chuck and.

437
00:21:04,760 --> 00:21:06,520
Speaker 2: Gogles on, hold my breath and just go down and

438
00:21:06,520 --> 00:21:08,520
Speaker 2: do what I need to do. But I just don't

439
00:21:08,680 --> 00:21:14,119
Speaker 2: like it, do not like it. And on this particular occasion,

440
00:21:14,440 --> 00:21:16,560
Speaker 2: after I had tried it a few times or whatever,

441
00:21:16,600 --> 00:21:18,120
Speaker 2: because I was in my twenties.

442
00:21:18,280 --> 00:21:19,400
Speaker 1: Does April like it?

443
00:21:20,840 --> 00:21:23,399
Speaker 2: I think she she doesn't really care.

444
00:21:23,400 --> 00:21:23,800
Speaker 1: Not snorks.

445
00:21:23,800 --> 00:21:24,960
Speaker 4: She doesn't give a shit out.

446
00:21:25,040 --> 00:21:29,919
Speaker 2: Yeah anyway, And in Southeast Asia, as you do as

447
00:21:29,960 --> 00:21:32,680
Speaker 2: a young backpackage, if you drink a lot, you drink

448
00:21:32,720 --> 00:21:35,479
Speaker 2: a lot of beers. So obviously I'm probably on the

449
00:21:35,480 --> 00:21:36,600
Speaker 2: back of a three month.

450
00:21:36,640 --> 00:21:40,680
Speaker 1: Times have changed. Ash, what's not a backpack anymore? What's

451
00:21:40,680 --> 00:21:41,200
Speaker 1: your excuse.

452
00:21:42,040 --> 00:21:49,439
Speaker 5: I've got kids, two of them, so you get and

453
00:21:49,480 --> 00:21:55,880
Speaker 5: a beer sponsor, so you're backpacking backpacking. Had a big

454
00:21:55,960 --> 00:21:58,480
Speaker 5: night and like, look, we've been drinking on this boat too,

455
00:21:58,600 --> 00:22:00,359
Speaker 5: and we're with some people from Melbourn and that we

456
00:22:00,400 --> 00:22:03,600
Speaker 5: met like it was a cool, little private, little dinghy boat.

457
00:22:04,160 --> 00:22:06,639
Speaker 2: Beautiful, don't get me wrong. And we stopped to do

458
00:22:06,720 --> 00:22:09,960
Speaker 2: some snorkeling and everyone's like, yay, snorkeling.

459
00:22:09,440 --> 00:22:10,800
Speaker 1: And I can't fucking wait.

460
00:22:11,640 --> 00:22:14,119
Speaker 2: I'm still a little bit seedy from the day before.

461
00:22:14,280 --> 00:22:19,720
Speaker 2: I'm like, coming good, put the snorkel on, hopping the water,

462
00:22:19,920 --> 00:22:23,600
Speaker 2: Oh okay. The first or second time, I like kind

463
00:22:23,600 --> 00:22:28,760
Speaker 2: of dip my head down, and I think the second

464
00:22:28,800 --> 00:22:34,280
Speaker 2: or third time I've spewed up into the tube. Oh shit,

465
00:22:34,520 --> 00:22:37,639
Speaker 2: but it's gone up. April said, she just saw this

466
00:22:37,720 --> 00:22:40,760
Speaker 2: thing bubble out of the tube and then what didn't

467
00:22:40,760 --> 00:22:43,919
Speaker 2: bubble out has just sucked back into my throat and

468
00:22:44,000 --> 00:22:52,280
Speaker 2: I've swallowed it back down. Sorry about that.

469
00:22:52,440 --> 00:22:54,400
Speaker 1: Oh my god, I'm fucking dry.

470
00:22:54,440 --> 00:22:58,760
Speaker 2: Reaching gross. Eh look for me at the time, very

471
00:22:58,800 --> 00:23:02,959
Speaker 2: gross because it just started a really bad cycle of

472
00:23:03,000 --> 00:23:09,800
Speaker 2: me vomiting dis continue it for that small and then

473
00:23:10,160 --> 00:23:14,840
Speaker 2: it was in the water, and then the fish was great. Anyway,

474
00:23:14,840 --> 00:23:17,200
Speaker 2: we got out of there real quick. But yeah, I

475
00:23:17,240 --> 00:23:19,560
Speaker 2: can't do the snorkeling thing. I can't.

476
00:23:20,280 --> 00:23:21,600
Speaker 4: And like I've noticed with you and.

477
00:23:21,600 --> 00:23:27,880
Speaker 2: Your holidays holidays, you always find somewhere to snorggle. It'd

478
00:23:27,880 --> 00:23:29,560
Speaker 2: be like you could be in the out back Australia

479
00:23:29,600 --> 00:23:31,720
Speaker 2: and be like, look, he's a really good little pond.

480
00:23:31,720 --> 00:23:33,400
Speaker 2: We can snorkeling. I love it.

481
00:23:33,480 --> 00:23:37,720
Speaker 1: I love it. Nothing Nothing makes me happier than being

482
00:23:37,760 --> 00:23:40,399
Speaker 1: fully submerged in a body of water.

483
00:23:40,680 --> 00:23:42,199
Speaker 2: Oh new we.

484
00:23:45,080 --> 00:23:48,159
Speaker 1: Literally, that's that's that's my jam. I always thought you

485
00:23:48,200 --> 00:23:51,560
Speaker 1: were this, I guess up until now, a perfect man.

486
00:23:52,720 --> 00:23:54,480
Speaker 1: But I've just found your achilles heel.

487
00:23:54,600 --> 00:23:57,040
Speaker 2: That's one thing I just don't I just don't like.

488
00:23:57,920 --> 00:24:00,159
Speaker 1: Which is so weird because you're, like your sirf a

489
00:24:00,160 --> 00:24:05,160
Speaker 1: water child. Yeah yeah, yeah, maybe something happened in a previous.

490
00:24:05,119 --> 00:24:08,800
Speaker 2: Try and make it complicated. I just get claustrophobic with

491
00:24:08,840 --> 00:24:12,080
Speaker 2: the tiny little not everyone can breathe through a tiny

492
00:24:12,160 --> 00:24:14,080
Speaker 2: tube something I'm very good at.

493
00:24:14,400 --> 00:24:15,720
Speaker 4: You seem to be, do.

494
00:24:15,680 --> 00:24:17,359
Speaker 1: You you scuba dives? Oh?

495
00:24:17,520 --> 00:24:21,159
Speaker 4: No way, would I ever know chance, I'd be up

496
00:24:21,200 --> 00:24:24,320
Speaker 4: on the news. I'd be to be like well.

497
00:24:24,400 --> 00:24:27,480
Speaker 2: Some say he vomited so much in his in his

498
00:24:27,600 --> 00:24:30,600
Speaker 2: suit that he took it in within every orifice of

499
00:24:30,600 --> 00:24:34,080
Speaker 2: his body, and he died thoughts and prayers he drowned

500
00:24:34,080 --> 00:24:36,439
Speaker 2: in his own vomit in the bottom of the ocean.

501
00:24:36,720 --> 00:24:37,720
Speaker 2: Some say good riddance.

502
00:24:37,920 --> 00:24:41,400
Speaker 1: I'm actually I am shocked right now. I'm shocked right now.

503
00:24:41,440 --> 00:24:45,439
Speaker 1: I feel like I want to take you snorkeling so

504
00:24:45,600 --> 00:24:49,000
Speaker 1: I can clear you of this like fear of the

505
00:24:49,040 --> 00:24:52,360
Speaker 1: small tube. Come with me on a holidays.

506
00:24:52,720 --> 00:25:00,440
Speaker 2: Done, let's go, let's go. Now what else? What else

507
00:25:00,480 --> 00:25:02,119
Speaker 2: have you missed since you've been away? I don't know

508
00:25:02,119 --> 00:25:06,600
Speaker 2: if you saw Matthew, but forell Oscar's birthday, I bought

509
00:25:06,640 --> 00:25:07,320
Speaker 2: him a kite.

510
00:25:07,440 --> 00:25:11,120
Speaker 1: Oh you did that little cheeky video of actually there's

511
00:25:11,119 --> 00:25:15,600
Speaker 1: a video with no Oscar, just you running laps up

512
00:25:15,640 --> 00:25:17,920
Speaker 1: and down the park with the kite. Is that the

513
00:25:18,000 --> 00:25:18,840
Speaker 1: kite you're talking about?

514
00:25:18,960 --> 00:25:22,120
Speaker 2: Yeah, So no one told me that kiting is hard.

515
00:25:23,359 --> 00:25:26,320
Speaker 4: I was not expecting it. So we bought this kite.

516
00:25:26,320 --> 00:25:28,360
Speaker 2: And there's the thing when with kids and you buy

517
00:25:28,400 --> 00:25:32,160
Speaker 2: them something, they want to use it immediately, but kite

518
00:25:32,240 --> 00:25:35,200
Speaker 2: not the case. Wasn't windy for like two weeks, and

519
00:25:35,280 --> 00:25:37,639
Speaker 2: Oscar didn't quite understand that. So for every day for

520
00:25:37,680 --> 00:25:40,240
Speaker 2: two weeks he was like, can we fly the kite?

521
00:25:40,400 --> 00:25:42,159
Speaker 2: Not windy? It's not windy enough?

522
00:25:42,680 --> 00:25:44,320
Speaker 1: Was it actually not windy enough? Or were you just

523
00:25:44,400 --> 00:25:46,000
Speaker 1: making up excuses.

524
00:25:45,520 --> 00:25:46,120
Speaker 4: A bit of both?

525
00:25:46,200 --> 00:25:50,439
Speaker 2: Yeah, great, yeah, fifty to fifty Yeah, two weeks. I

526
00:25:50,480 --> 00:25:51,640
Speaker 2: had to endure this.

527
00:25:52,119 --> 00:25:54,000
Speaker 4: And look, I'm never buying him a.

528
00:25:53,960 --> 00:25:56,800
Speaker 2: Toy again that he can't use immediately. I think there's

529
00:25:56,960 --> 00:25:59,320
Speaker 2: you know, we said, there's no advice. Here's some advice,

530
00:26:00,119 --> 00:26:01,800
Speaker 2: a toy they can use instantly.

531
00:26:02,320 --> 00:26:05,160
Speaker 1: Because kids have zero patients, they don't understand it. It doesn't

532
00:26:05,119 --> 00:26:07,359
Speaker 1: it's not something that they have within their like little

533
00:26:07,400 --> 00:26:08,200
Speaker 1: tiny kid.

534
00:26:08,040 --> 00:26:11,120
Speaker 2: Mine Eventually we get a nice windy days a Friday.

535
00:26:11,520 --> 00:26:12,399
Speaker 2: Everyone was at home.

536
00:26:12,720 --> 00:26:14,040
Speaker 4: It wasn't weekend sports.

537
00:26:14,080 --> 00:26:15,919
Speaker 2: So there's a soccer field just up from us.

538
00:26:16,160 --> 00:26:19,520
Speaker 1: Great, a big sun. Sun was out. Was it blowing

539
00:26:19,600 --> 00:26:22,719
Speaker 1: like twenty four knots. I don't know what that is.

540
00:26:24,560 --> 00:26:28,000
Speaker 2: It was blowing in a direction and it was constant

541
00:26:28,119 --> 00:26:30,080
Speaker 2: enough to hold a kite up.

542
00:26:30,119 --> 00:26:32,600
Speaker 1: Potentially, I'm imagining right now, you've got this like wind

543
00:26:32,640 --> 00:26:34,679
Speaker 1: sock set up at the backyard of your house and

544
00:26:34,720 --> 00:26:38,760
Speaker 1: every morning, quick get in the car.

545
00:26:38,920 --> 00:26:43,400
Speaker 2: Yeah, he's just running an airport in the backyard. And

546
00:26:43,680 --> 00:26:45,760
Speaker 2: I was like, okay, let's go down. And I was

547
00:26:45,760 --> 00:26:48,760
Speaker 2: in the car with April and I turned around. I said,

548
00:26:48,760 --> 00:26:49,720
Speaker 2: do you know what fly kit.

549
00:26:53,760 --> 00:26:54,679
Speaker 1: Kite licensed?

550
00:26:55,200 --> 00:26:59,080
Speaker 4: And she was like, no, do you I was like,

551
00:26:59,200 --> 00:27:00,719
Speaker 4: quick google it.

552
00:27:00,760 --> 00:27:04,560
Speaker 1: I fly kights like I snorffled as I google it,

553
00:27:04,640 --> 00:27:06,000
Speaker 1: hungover and vomiting.

554
00:27:06,920 --> 00:27:09,520
Speaker 4: Just Google like a just google, like a quick tutory.

555
00:27:09,560 --> 00:27:11,600
Speaker 1: But it's like you just put you to release it.

556
00:27:11,720 --> 00:27:14,800
Speaker 2: Right. You're just like you think that there's a couple

557
00:27:14,840 --> 00:27:15,960
Speaker 2: of things you shouldn't mix.

558
00:27:16,119 --> 00:27:17,679
Speaker 1: Please enlighten me.

559
00:27:17,800 --> 00:27:24,360
Speaker 2: You shouldn't mix string and toddling. Yeah, that's number one.

560
00:27:24,359 --> 00:27:25,760
Speaker 1: It's like tangle heaven.

561
00:27:25,920 --> 00:27:26,600
Speaker 4: We get there.

562
00:27:27,119 --> 00:27:28,760
Speaker 2: I'm like, looking at this kite going.

563
00:27:28,720 --> 00:27:31,280
Speaker 1: Many other kite flyers at the park, You're the only

564
00:27:31,320 --> 00:27:34,640
Speaker 1: one which is also quiet. I get anxiety just thinking

565
00:27:34,640 --> 00:27:36,880
Speaker 1: about the fact that other parents are there, going, Oh,

566
00:27:37,119 --> 00:27:39,600
Speaker 1: the fucking dad with a kite, right, let's let's see

567
00:27:39,640 --> 00:27:40,160
Speaker 1: what he's got.

568
00:27:40,320 --> 00:27:42,560
Speaker 2: Yeah, there was a guy like doing the lines of

569
00:27:42,600 --> 00:27:46,720
Speaker 2: the soccer field. He was looking at me. He's looking

570
00:27:46,720 --> 00:27:50,760
Speaker 2: at me intimidated. Yeah, and I set this thing up.

571
00:27:51,160 --> 00:27:53,760
Speaker 2: First of all, it was back. I was trying to

572
00:27:53,800 --> 00:27:55,080
Speaker 2: catch wind in the wrong part.

573
00:27:55,960 --> 00:27:56,639
Speaker 4: I didn't go up.

574
00:27:56,680 --> 00:27:58,719
Speaker 2: But then I didn't realize how aggressive it could be

575
00:27:58,760 --> 00:28:01,119
Speaker 2: once I've got it up. So I'm like, but the

576
00:28:01,160 --> 00:28:03,400
Speaker 2: thing is as well. Oscar's like, can I have a town?

577
00:28:04,280 --> 00:28:08,600
Speaker 2: I'm like, I can't even get it going. Some of

578
00:28:08,640 --> 00:28:10,200
Speaker 2: that video where I was just like, fuck it, I'm

579
00:28:10,200 --> 00:28:12,280
Speaker 2: just gonna run really fast with it, and April was

580
00:28:12,400 --> 00:28:15,280
Speaker 2: just laughing at it off at this fucking fully grown

581
00:28:15,359 --> 00:28:17,480
Speaker 2: there trying to fly card.

582
00:28:17,960 --> 00:28:19,399
Speaker 1: It's like wrestling a while the animal.

583
00:28:19,440 --> 00:28:20,680
Speaker 4: It's like I couldn't get it off.

584
00:28:20,760 --> 00:28:23,440
Speaker 2: I couldn't. Eventually, when I did get it up in

585
00:28:23,480 --> 00:28:26,159
Speaker 2: the air, I was like, lo, this bad, and Oscar

586
00:28:26,280 --> 00:28:29,600
Speaker 2: was like, it's scary, and I was like, because it's

587
00:28:29,640 --> 00:28:32,879
Speaker 2: like a dragon shape, it's not just your run of

588
00:28:32,880 --> 00:28:35,000
Speaker 2: the mill triangle, diamond whatever.

589
00:28:35,480 --> 00:28:37,000
Speaker 1: You've gone all out, you've got the animal.

590
00:28:37,240 --> 00:28:38,840
Speaker 2: Well I went to get the cheap one and they're

591
00:28:38,880 --> 00:28:42,080
Speaker 2: sold out. Yeah, the expensive one didn't I because he

592
00:28:42,160 --> 00:28:45,440
Speaker 2: wanted a kite so bad anyway, So eventually I.

593
00:28:45,440 --> 00:28:46,160
Speaker 4: Figured it out.

594
00:28:46,280 --> 00:28:48,840
Speaker 2: I'm like, okay, I just you know, tinkered with it

595
00:28:48,880 --> 00:28:51,280
Speaker 2: a little bit, like so that it was the right

596
00:28:51,320 --> 00:28:52,200
Speaker 2: angle at.

597
00:28:52,040 --> 00:28:54,720
Speaker 1: This point, are you how many minutes? In twenty minutes?

598
00:28:55,000 --> 00:28:59,200
Speaker 2: Now, shit cower in and I think the whole time

599
00:28:59,240 --> 00:29:03,920
Speaker 2: Oscar has been like you want to turn, I'm scared. Meanwhile,

600
00:29:03,960 --> 00:29:07,600
Speaker 2: Macy's legging it away from this scary dragon. But the

601
00:29:07,640 --> 00:29:09,640
Speaker 2: thing is, it was so windy that when it got

602
00:29:09,680 --> 00:29:14,800
Speaker 2: in the air, it was like fucking flailing about and

603
00:29:14,840 --> 00:29:18,000
Speaker 2: then it would hit the decks so hard. And then

604
00:29:18,200 --> 00:29:22,720
Speaker 2: eventually the string got tangled, and then Oscar comes over

605
00:29:22,760 --> 00:29:24,400
Speaker 2: to help me with the string, and then Oscar got

606
00:29:24,440 --> 00:29:25,200
Speaker 2: fucking tangled.

607
00:29:25,360 --> 00:29:26,960
Speaker 4: Then Oscar goes to run away.

608
00:29:26,760 --> 00:29:29,080
Speaker 2: And because his tangle is tripped over and he's fallen

609
00:29:29,120 --> 00:29:33,240
Speaker 2: over and there's tears Anyway, long story short, we have

610
00:29:33,280 --> 00:29:36,000
Speaker 2: thrown the kite out. Yeah, get rid of it, and

611
00:29:36,520 --> 00:29:40,840
Speaker 2: more advice from me, don't buy a kite n It's honestly,

612
00:29:40,880 --> 00:29:42,120
Speaker 2: it's harder than parenting.

613
00:29:42,600 --> 00:29:46,920
Speaker 1: It's like Plato. I fucking hate Plato so things.

614
00:29:47,400 --> 00:29:49,160
Speaker 2: It feels weird on your hands.

615
00:29:48,880 --> 00:29:53,080
Speaker 1: It leaves awful residue on your fingers, and you have

616
00:29:53,160 --> 00:29:55,480
Speaker 1: to watch the Michael Hawk the moment you stop watching

617
00:29:55,480 --> 00:29:58,640
Speaker 1: your kids with Plato, it ends up on the carpet,

618
00:29:58,680 --> 00:30:00,720
Speaker 1: it ends up in the hair on their shirts. And

619
00:30:02,160 --> 00:30:05,360
Speaker 1: Lola absolutely anything like I look over and she's like

620
00:30:05,440 --> 00:30:06,560
Speaker 1: half a tub down.

621
00:30:06,440 --> 00:30:06,600
Speaker 2: Just.

622
00:30:08,200 --> 00:30:09,200
Speaker 1: At it stopping.

623
00:30:10,400 --> 00:30:12,560
Speaker 2: And then I really like this red one.

624
00:30:14,920 --> 00:30:16,480
Speaker 5: Tell me loud, tell me.

625
00:30:22,880 --> 00:30:25,360
Speaker 1: Did you see the review that someone left?

626
00:30:25,560 --> 00:30:28,080
Speaker 2: I don't. I don't see. I don't go through this.

627
00:30:28,240 --> 00:30:29,920
Speaker 1: It was good, it was good. They said, we want

628
00:30:29,960 --> 00:30:31,360
Speaker 1: more of that song.

629
00:30:33,800 --> 00:30:36,400
Speaker 2: At least sing a single. It's funny that maybe.

630
00:30:36,200 --> 00:30:39,600
Speaker 1: At some point, either on the anniversary of our first episode,

631
00:30:39,720 --> 00:30:43,120
Speaker 1: we can do like an extended release on Spotify. The

632
00:30:43,200 --> 00:30:45,840
Speaker 1: music video cover just an idea, throwing it out there.

633
00:30:45,960 --> 00:30:49,160
Speaker 2: Love it. Anyone that knows how to produce a music

634
00:30:49,240 --> 00:30:53,080
Speaker 2: video please hit us up right now, because that is

635
00:30:53,120 --> 00:30:54,320
Speaker 2: something I want to do.

636
00:30:54,720 --> 00:30:56,520
Speaker 1: How hard could it be that hard?

637
00:30:56,680 --> 00:30:59,120
Speaker 4: If the talent is the hardest part, You've already got that.

638
00:30:59,320 --> 00:31:05,680
Speaker 2: Yeah, I've got this comedic voice that it's honestly nazily singing.

639
00:31:06,040 --> 00:31:10,120
Speaker 1: Tell me, la shut the fuck up, stop it right now.

640
00:31:11,520 --> 00:31:12,920
Speaker 1: Have you told any lies recently?

641
00:31:14,880 --> 00:31:18,320
Speaker 2: I feel like I'm consistently lying all the fucking time

642
00:31:18,400 --> 00:31:19,040
Speaker 2: to my kids.

643
00:31:20,200 --> 00:31:25,400
Speaker 1: April never would never lie. I don't think I actually

644
00:31:26,640 --> 00:31:28,560
Speaker 1: I've just been bribing my kids when I was away

645
00:31:28,600 --> 00:31:30,560
Speaker 1: over in fig But I have had some very good

646
00:31:30,600 --> 00:31:33,640
Speaker 1: lies submitted by the listeners, as she fucking quickly read

647
00:31:33,680 --> 00:31:35,040
Speaker 1: you one if I may.

648
00:31:35,240 --> 00:31:37,920
Speaker 2: Yeah, and I've got one that someone sent too. I've

649
00:31:37,960 --> 00:31:40,840
Speaker 2: sent someone someone that sent me a meme though. That's

650
00:31:40,840 --> 00:31:43,560
Speaker 2: a really great lie that people would have heard of before.

651
00:31:44,000 --> 00:31:48,680
Speaker 2: It's quite lengthy, So you do yours first, Ash, shut up.

652
00:31:49,840 --> 00:31:51,360
Speaker 1: I thought you saw this message.

653
00:31:51,400 --> 00:31:53,760
Speaker 2: No no, no, no no no, because I don't read

654
00:31:53,760 --> 00:31:54,160
Speaker 2: the dance.

655
00:31:55,360 --> 00:31:59,360
Speaker 1: It's very, very very similar to your kite story. But

656
00:31:59,440 --> 00:32:05,160
Speaker 1: I'll read this. This is from Lauren Laurence's lovely to

657
00:32:05,160 --> 00:32:08,000
Speaker 1: get your message. She says, Hey, two doting dads. I

658
00:32:08,080 --> 00:32:11,120
Speaker 1: love the podcast except for Ash's voice.

659
00:32:13,400 --> 00:32:14,160
Speaker 2: That's made up.

660
00:32:14,480 --> 00:32:19,000
Speaker 1: That was very clever. I'm a step mum of three

661
00:32:19,200 --> 00:32:22,040
Speaker 1: and find your content relatable and hilarious. I didn't have

662
00:32:22,120 --> 00:32:22,680
Speaker 1: to read this.

663
00:32:22,560 --> 00:32:25,640
Speaker 2: Front part, but I just give us a bloody little pash.

664
00:32:25,480 --> 00:32:29,600
Speaker 1: Of the ego. I do have to confess, though, I

665
00:32:29,720 --> 00:32:33,400
Speaker 1: tell my eight year old step son a lie regularly.

666
00:32:34,040 --> 00:32:36,480
Speaker 1: My parents bought him a kite for his sixth birthday,

667
00:32:36,560 --> 00:32:38,920
Speaker 1: so that's two years ago, and I've been telling this

668
00:32:38,920 --> 00:32:42,680
Speaker 1: boy for the last two years. It's not the right

669
00:32:42,800 --> 00:32:51,720
Speaker 1: weather to fly a kite. Light breeze, na, sorry, mate,

670
00:32:52,040 --> 00:32:55,560
Speaker 1: Howling winds ooh nah, mate, just blowing in the wrong direction,

671
00:32:56,040 --> 00:32:58,400
Speaker 1: gale force winds. No way you get blown away with

672
00:32:58,440 --> 00:33:01,400
Speaker 1: the kite. Why. I don't really know. I couldn't think

673
00:33:01,400 --> 00:33:04,640
Speaker 1: of anything worse than standing outside, picking up the same

674
00:33:04,760 --> 00:33:07,720
Speaker 1: kite that hasn't taken off for the fiftieth time and

675
00:33:07,800 --> 00:33:10,320
Speaker 1: launching it back up into the sky. It's not for me.

676
00:33:10,680 --> 00:33:11,960
Speaker 1: It's just not windy enough.

677
00:33:13,280 --> 00:33:17,000
Speaker 2: That's great, is this? I didn't even see that mess?

678
00:33:17,280 --> 00:33:18,240
Speaker 1: Did you write that in this?

679
00:33:19,400 --> 00:33:20,320
Speaker 2: It's not for me?

680
00:33:20,440 --> 00:33:20,719
Speaker 5: Are you?

681
00:33:20,800 --> 00:33:22,240
Speaker 1: Are you pretending to be Lauren there?

682
00:33:22,880 --> 00:33:30,800
Speaker 2: No, it's amazing coincidence. It's kit it's kite season.

683
00:33:33,840 --> 00:33:36,320
Speaker 1: I would love to know how many if there is

684
00:33:36,360 --> 00:33:39,280
Speaker 1: any parent out there who genuinely has had a successful

685
00:33:39,360 --> 00:33:42,880
Speaker 1: day flying a kite with a toddler, do you exist?

686
00:33:42,280 --> 00:33:47,320
Speaker 2: The fuck thing is this is legitimately true. Is yesterday

687
00:33:47,360 --> 00:33:49,600
Speaker 2: we went up to this skate park that's like a

688
00:33:49,640 --> 00:33:52,160
Speaker 2: big park as well, but it's pretty quiet, and a

689
00:33:52,240 --> 00:33:57,719
Speaker 2: family comes along with their kite flies it perfectly like

690
00:33:58,280 --> 00:33:59,840
Speaker 2: I'm looking up at this thing.

691
00:34:00,000 --> 00:34:03,320
Speaker 1: Where they dress in suits, hair perfect? Are these people real?

692
00:34:03,440 --> 00:34:06,800
Speaker 2: Sweatbands was like a sport for them. Fantasting The kids

693
00:34:06,840 --> 00:34:10,439
Speaker 2: were like anyway, so maneuver that. I'm like, show off.

694
00:34:10,560 --> 00:34:12,640
Speaker 1: This is very heavy on the kite content. You know

695
00:34:12,680 --> 00:34:14,960
Speaker 1: when Bali they have those kites that fly above the

696
00:34:15,040 --> 00:34:18,080
Speaker 1: rice fields and they just sit there perfectly like no

697
00:34:18,080 --> 00:34:19,720
Speaker 1: one's even manning the kite.

698
00:34:19,719 --> 00:34:22,400
Speaker 2: It's scarecrows holding onto that thing like it's perfect.

699
00:34:23,160 --> 00:34:24,319
Speaker 4: Whenever that's what it was like.

700
00:34:24,360 --> 00:34:27,560
Speaker 1: Whenever I see that, that really entices me of like

701
00:34:27,800 --> 00:34:29,480
Speaker 1: my internally.

702
00:34:29,440 --> 00:34:31,080
Speaker 4: Is that your aviation.

703
00:34:32,120 --> 00:34:34,759
Speaker 1: Taps into that. My mouth starts watering and I'm like,

704
00:34:34,840 --> 00:34:36,560
Speaker 1: maybe I should get a kite. And then I speak

705
00:34:36,600 --> 00:34:37,720
Speaker 1: to you, you tie.

706
00:34:37,560 --> 00:34:41,799
Speaker 2: Your toddler up with the string and then throw it out.

707
00:34:42,120 --> 00:34:46,160
Speaker 2: I've hidden it at least anyway, that's a that's coincidence.

708
00:34:46,320 --> 00:34:47,640
Speaker 1: Yeah, talk about coincidence.

709
00:34:47,800 --> 00:34:50,880
Speaker 2: Definitely wasn't me. I do want to go through uh

710
00:34:51,480 --> 00:34:53,920
Speaker 2: someone saying this is only like yesterday or today.

711
00:34:54,600 --> 00:34:57,960
Speaker 1: But someone says, can I just say please, just really quickly.

712
00:34:58,880 --> 00:35:01,960
Speaker 1: I do read the m and I reply to people

713
00:35:02,360 --> 00:35:04,799
Speaker 1: and I enjoy it, and a lot of people say

714
00:35:05,040 --> 00:35:07,879
Speaker 1: when I reply, they go, I didn't think anyone would

715
00:35:07,880 --> 00:35:09,760
Speaker 1: reply to it, because.

716
00:35:09,520 --> 00:35:11,919
Speaker 2: See what I'm doing. I'm setting a standard and you're

717
00:35:12,080 --> 00:35:13,000
Speaker 2: do we.

718
00:35:12,880 --> 00:35:15,520
Speaker 1: Want to we want to hear from people message in

719
00:35:15,800 --> 00:35:18,279
Speaker 1: I'm there, and you won't hear from ash, You'll hear

720
00:35:18,320 --> 00:35:20,280
Speaker 1: from me, and I welcome them.

721
00:35:20,120 --> 00:35:23,320
Speaker 2: With open eye sign off that it's as I've seen.

722
00:35:23,160 --> 00:35:27,200
Speaker 1: Your fucking replies. You're like cool, story, thanks, whereas I'm like, ah,

723
00:35:27,360 --> 00:35:32,560
Speaker 1: tell me more, Susan, what's you lie? Tell me?

724
00:35:32,680 --> 00:35:33,080
Speaker 2: Okay?

725
00:35:33,120 --> 00:35:35,680
Speaker 4: So this is the this is you would know this.

726
00:35:36,040 --> 00:35:39,560
Speaker 2: It's a meme as well. Sometimes I put movies on

727
00:35:39,760 --> 00:35:42,440
Speaker 2: that are in Spanish, and when my kids get really

728
00:35:42,480 --> 00:35:45,879
Speaker 2: confused and ask why they can't understand it, I tell

729
00:35:45,920 --> 00:35:48,279
Speaker 2: them that they're just tie it and should probably take

730
00:35:48,280 --> 00:35:53,239
Speaker 2: a nap, right fucking brilliant, brilliant. But then when they

731
00:35:53,280 --> 00:35:55,240
Speaker 2: wake up from the nap, I put the same movie

732
00:35:55,280 --> 00:35:57,280
Speaker 2: on in English and they think they're better.

733
00:36:00,080 --> 00:36:02,000
Speaker 4: Well played, Bravo.

734
00:36:01,960 --> 00:36:04,879
Speaker 2: That's great. I think like, look, I'm going to give

735
00:36:04,920 --> 00:36:05,200
Speaker 2: it a go.

736
00:36:05,680 --> 00:36:10,520
Speaker 1: That's very manipulative. Yeah, you're a psychopathic and in an

737
00:36:10,520 --> 00:36:13,000
Speaker 1: impressive way. I'm not judging. I'm saying well done.

738
00:36:13,440 --> 00:36:16,400
Speaker 2: It's great. Yeah, I think that's outstanding parenting.

739
00:36:17,480 --> 00:36:18,680
Speaker 1: You have tried it, or you will try it.

740
00:36:18,719 --> 00:36:19,440
Speaker 4: I'm going to give a go.

741
00:36:19,800 --> 00:36:21,880
Speaker 2: Yeah, see what the outcome is.

742
00:36:21,920 --> 00:36:24,120
Speaker 1: I feel like Macy will be like, ash, you've just

743
00:36:24,160 --> 00:36:26,560
Speaker 1: put it on. Clearly it's in Portuguese, whereas Oskoo will

744
00:36:26,560 --> 00:36:27,560
Speaker 1: be like, oh my god.

745
00:36:27,960 --> 00:36:29,560
Speaker 2: They both come out speaking fluid.

746
00:36:29,560 --> 00:36:30,360
Speaker 4: Portuguese.

747
00:36:31,600 --> 00:36:34,720
Speaker 2: Will show you we can watch anything.

748
00:36:37,480 --> 00:36:40,239
Speaker 1: Alright, As before we go, we do have time, I

749
00:36:40,280 --> 00:36:44,279
Speaker 1: think very quickly. For some listener questions, love them. This

750
00:36:44,320 --> 00:36:47,040
Speaker 1: is what I would say. Oh my favorite part of

751
00:36:47,080 --> 00:36:47,719
Speaker 1: the podcast.

752
00:36:48,239 --> 00:36:50,760
Speaker 2: Yeah, mine's just getting to look at your face.

753
00:36:50,960 --> 00:36:55,720
Speaker 1: Ah, you uninterrupted, such a beautiful man. That's a lie. Okay.

754
00:36:55,800 --> 00:36:59,640
Speaker 1: Question number one is potty training? How the hell do

755
00:36:59,680 --> 00:37:00,360
Speaker 1: you do it.

756
00:37:02,080 --> 00:37:07,320
Speaker 2: On a women? A prayer? Look I've only potty trained

757
00:37:07,400 --> 00:37:12,080
Speaker 2: Oscar in the last three months before returning for let's

758
00:37:12,080 --> 00:37:16,759
Speaker 2: just say in the last six months. I'm still gonna wipe. Yeah,

759
00:37:17,000 --> 00:37:18,879
Speaker 2: last night I said to him, I might look next pooh,

760
00:37:18,920 --> 00:37:20,439
Speaker 2: you do give it a crack?

761
00:37:20,760 --> 00:37:24,319
Speaker 1: No, mate, you can't do that. It's it's because this

762
00:37:24,360 --> 00:37:27,120
Speaker 1: morning Marley was like, I'm gonna do a WII and

763
00:37:27,160 --> 00:37:29,920
Speaker 1: she's pretty good now, and we is like, yeah, fine,

764
00:37:29,960 --> 00:37:31,919
Speaker 1: I don't care like whether you wipe or you don't

765
00:37:31,920 --> 00:37:36,279
Speaker 1: wipe dry Yeah, yeah, fine. We went to daycare. I

766
00:37:36,320 --> 00:37:39,560
Speaker 1: came back and she'd gone through like two fucking toilet

767
00:37:39,640 --> 00:37:41,319
Speaker 1: rolls on the floor Like it was.

768
00:37:42,600 --> 00:37:44,239
Speaker 2: No, I'm going to ration the toilet. I'm gonna give

769
00:37:44,280 --> 00:37:48,000
Speaker 2: him a square. Ye make it work so that you have.

770
00:37:47,920 --> 00:37:50,840
Speaker 1: To you have to give them a limited supply. Marley

771
00:37:51,160 --> 00:37:53,520
Speaker 1: got into the She was just like going nuts.

772
00:37:53,600 --> 00:37:55,719
Speaker 2: Yeah, Macy does that, but she's just does it because

773
00:37:55,719 --> 00:37:56,120
Speaker 2: it's fun.

774
00:37:56,239 --> 00:37:57,359
Speaker 4: Yeah, I get it.

775
00:37:58,040 --> 00:38:00,520
Speaker 1: So what was can I ask Ash? What was what

776
00:38:00,600 --> 00:38:06,080
Speaker 1: was the kind of bribery signal? What was this signal?

777
00:38:06,239 --> 00:38:09,200
Speaker 1: Were you guys man, okay coolars ready for potty training?

778
00:38:09,840 --> 00:38:16,960
Speaker 2: Probably when I he pooped in an appy, right, I

779
00:38:17,000 --> 00:38:21,160
Speaker 2: opened it up, my finger slipped into it, and I

780
00:38:21,200 --> 00:38:24,800
Speaker 2: thought to myself, We're done. I'm not fucking doing this anymore.

781
00:38:25,520 --> 00:38:27,600
Speaker 2: You can get out of my house. No, I was like,

782
00:38:27,960 --> 00:38:31,759
Speaker 2: this is fucked. I was like, I'm essentially cleaning a

783
00:38:31,840 --> 00:38:33,360
Speaker 2: grown humans asshole.

784
00:38:33,480 --> 00:38:37,439
Speaker 4: I'm not a nurse anyway, and then I.

785
00:38:37,480 --> 00:38:42,040
Speaker 2: Just said, look, Originally he was petrified of the toilet,

786
00:38:42,440 --> 00:38:47,960
Speaker 2: like I'm talking, sitting there going crying, and I had

787
00:38:47,960 --> 00:38:50,279
Speaker 2: to either bribe him or threaten him that I'm going

788
00:38:50,320 --> 00:38:51,879
Speaker 2: to flush him down if he doesn't do it.

789
00:38:53,560 --> 00:38:55,400
Speaker 1: And then eventually we got that.

790
00:38:55,640 --> 00:38:56,160
Speaker 4: We got there.

791
00:38:56,160 --> 00:38:58,879
Speaker 2: Now he's like I always. He was like, I need

792
00:38:58,880 --> 00:38:59,399
Speaker 2: to do a pool.

793
00:38:59,440 --> 00:38:59,960
Speaker 4: I'm like oh.

794
00:39:00,120 --> 00:39:02,319
Speaker 2: Then and then it goes like two minutes later, it's

795
00:39:02,360 --> 00:39:03,040
Speaker 2: like I'm done.

796
00:39:03,080 --> 00:39:04,719
Speaker 4: I'm like, oh, I just fell out of you.

797
00:39:05,320 --> 00:39:05,919
Speaker 2: He likes that.

798
00:39:07,600 --> 00:39:10,279
Speaker 1: Little dad joke for it. I've still got a But

799
00:39:10,320 --> 00:39:14,640
Speaker 1: it's also the hardest part initially when they start, because

800
00:39:14,719 --> 00:39:17,560
Speaker 1: the first week, the first two weeks, it sucks. It's awful.

801
00:39:17,600 --> 00:39:19,799
Speaker 1: It's the pits because you just every twenty minutes you

802
00:39:19,800 --> 00:39:21,719
Speaker 1: have to take them to the toilet and go time

803
00:39:21,760 --> 00:39:24,480
Speaker 1: for a week and just like you'll sit there your wait.

804
00:39:24,920 --> 00:39:27,200
Speaker 1: You might get away. You might not next twenty minutes

805
00:39:27,239 --> 00:39:30,120
Speaker 1: go again, and you obviously forget it'll be like an

806
00:39:30,120 --> 00:39:32,000
Speaker 1: hour and you go shit and then you look at

807
00:39:32,000 --> 00:39:33,680
Speaker 1: it as a puddle on the floor. Yeah, you have

808
00:39:33,719 --> 00:39:36,400
Speaker 1: to prepare yourself for the fact that you have to

809
00:39:36,400 --> 00:39:39,120
Speaker 1: go everywhere with like three pairs of undies and pants.

810
00:39:39,320 --> 00:39:42,000
Speaker 1: And it also it sucks if you think you're going

811
00:39:42,040 --> 00:39:43,759
Speaker 1: to do a really quick car trip.

812
00:39:44,160 --> 00:39:45,480
Speaker 2: And then all of a sudden they're piss in the

813
00:39:45,560 --> 00:39:46,000
Speaker 2: seat and.

814
00:39:45,920 --> 00:39:47,359
Speaker 1: Then you're like, I've got been in the car for

815
00:39:47,400 --> 00:39:50,239
Speaker 1: like half an hour and you're like you look over

816
00:39:50,320 --> 00:39:52,880
Speaker 1: and you're like, oh, you've got to piss. Please, don't shit,

817
00:39:53,200 --> 00:39:56,239
Speaker 1: don't do it. Don't It's very stressful. It's a very

818
00:39:56,239 --> 00:39:57,040
Speaker 1: stressful period.

819
00:39:57,560 --> 00:40:00,160
Speaker 2: To shame them enough, they're not going to just do it.

820
00:40:01,760 --> 00:40:02,560
Speaker 2: So let's go with that.

821
00:40:03,160 --> 00:40:05,360
Speaker 1: And on that note, we'll go to the next question.

822
00:40:05,840 --> 00:40:12,000
Speaker 2: Matthew, is man flu a real thing or is it

823
00:40:12,040 --> 00:40:14,480
Speaker 2: an excuse to get out of your responsibilities.

824
00:40:14,760 --> 00:40:17,719
Speaker 1: Look, it's a very good question, and I will be

825
00:40:17,760 --> 00:40:20,160
Speaker 1: honest here. I'm going to let you in on some

826
00:40:20,239 --> 00:40:21,719
Speaker 1: medical knowledge.

827
00:40:21,560 --> 00:40:23,040
Speaker 4: That doctor Matthew J.

828
00:40:23,320 --> 00:40:23,760
Speaker 2: Johnson.

829
00:40:24,440 --> 00:40:26,520
Speaker 1: I can't remember where I read this, but it is

830
00:40:26,560 --> 00:40:30,680
Speaker 1: it's fact that man flu is a real thing. It's

831
00:40:31,000 --> 00:40:34,840
Speaker 1: I think on average diagnosed, medically diagnosed man flu is

832
00:40:34,920 --> 00:40:39,080
Speaker 1: three point five times more severe than a normal female flu.

833
00:40:39,680 --> 00:40:44,400
Speaker 2: Absolutely, it's there's not enough awareness. I would say I

834
00:40:44,600 --> 00:40:46,719
Speaker 2: liken it to childbirth. I would say it's on par

835
00:40:46,920 --> 00:40:49,400
Speaker 2: on par yeah, and we're gonna get canceled for that.

836
00:40:51,360 --> 00:40:54,560
Speaker 1: It's really pretty bad. I wish when I got the flu,

837
00:40:55,120 --> 00:40:57,759
Speaker 1: I don't want to lay in bed all day and

838
00:40:57,840 --> 00:41:00,359
Speaker 1: be on TikTok and Instagram. I want to be there

839
00:41:00,400 --> 00:41:02,400
Speaker 1: with Laura amazing.

840
00:41:03,800 --> 00:41:05,800
Speaker 2: In the trenches. Want to be in the trenches.

841
00:41:06,280 --> 00:41:08,239
Speaker 1: I want to be there as well, flying kites with

842
00:41:08,280 --> 00:41:11,200
Speaker 1: the kids in the park. I want that ash. I wish.

843
00:41:11,560 --> 00:41:14,600
Speaker 1: I wish I wasn't so ill that I cannot parent.

844
00:41:14,840 --> 00:41:19,000
Speaker 2: And look, I am very guilty of if I'm like

845
00:41:19,120 --> 00:41:21,879
Speaker 2: April's very like. April's like, oh, I'm not feeling well,

846
00:41:22,000 --> 00:41:24,640
Speaker 2: might go for a run, do a full days work,

847
00:41:24,880 --> 00:41:27,319
Speaker 2: go to the gym. I'm like, I'm not feeling well.

848
00:41:27,360 --> 00:41:29,040
Speaker 2: I'm not going to leave the bed today.

849
00:41:29,719 --> 00:41:34,279
Speaker 1: I think Laura is it like and at the drop

850
00:41:34,320 --> 00:41:37,160
Speaker 1: of a hat she will be absolutely fine, and then

851
00:41:37,200 --> 00:41:39,359
Speaker 1: she'll go, oh my god, I'm so queasy. Oh my god,

852
00:41:39,360 --> 00:41:40,759
Speaker 1: I think I'm gonna throw up. And I'm like, well

853
00:41:40,880 --> 00:41:43,720
Speaker 1: from what, like, what is it? We're like literally walking

854
00:41:43,760 --> 00:41:45,759
Speaker 1: on the pavement and she's like, oh my god, I'm

855
00:41:45,760 --> 00:41:48,719
Speaker 1: gonna throw up. Next thing. She's like, oh fine, fuck

856
00:41:48,760 --> 00:41:50,480
Speaker 1: did that rogue illness just come from?

857
00:41:50,680 --> 00:41:52,680
Speaker 2: And then she's brand new. It's like, you know what,

858
00:41:52,719 --> 00:41:55,080
Speaker 2: my immune system is even stronger.

859
00:41:54,640 --> 00:41:57,680
Speaker 1: Now there it is. Whereas I don't do that. When

860
00:41:57,680 --> 00:42:01,640
Speaker 1: I get sick, it happens, it's via, it's intense, and

861
00:42:01,680 --> 00:42:04,680
Speaker 1: it's over in a couple of days, Whereas Laura, I

862
00:42:04,760 --> 00:42:06,200
Speaker 1: also have to say that Laura is going to edit

863
00:42:06,280 --> 00:42:08,960
Speaker 1: this podcast. So I'll just take the opportunity, Laura to

864
00:42:09,000 --> 00:42:10,960
Speaker 1: tell you that I love you. You're amazing, You're beautiful, but

865
00:42:11,000 --> 00:42:13,520
Speaker 1: you're always sick and I'm fed up of it. But

866
00:42:13,560 --> 00:42:14,920
Speaker 1: I love you more than anything.

867
00:42:15,360 --> 00:42:18,120
Speaker 2: Okay, I would say, man, flu is one hundred percent real,

868
00:42:18,200 --> 00:42:21,680
Speaker 2: and it's an epidemic, and you need to give us

869
00:42:21,960 --> 00:42:23,280
Speaker 2: and every other man out.

870
00:42:23,080 --> 00:42:25,000
Speaker 1: There as much sympathy as possible.

871
00:42:25,040 --> 00:42:26,560
Speaker 2: As much sympathy is possible, should we.

872
00:42:26,520 --> 00:42:28,520
Speaker 1: Take a moment for all the men who may be

873
00:42:28,560 --> 00:42:35,279
Speaker 1: suffering suffer joke me off. What's the cue of the

874
00:42:35,320 --> 00:42:35,839
Speaker 1: bad flu?

875
00:42:36,360 --> 00:42:38,920
Speaker 4: Yeah, getting jerked off, Get jerked off, jerk it out

876
00:42:38,960 --> 00:42:39,239
Speaker 4: of me.

877
00:42:44,200 --> 00:42:47,200
Speaker 2: And on that, Matthew. That's all we get out of

878
00:42:47,239 --> 00:42:50,160
Speaker 2: it today.

879
00:42:51,000 --> 00:42:53,719
Speaker 1: There's only one thing that'll kill this man. We need

880
00:42:53,760 --> 00:42:54,799
Speaker 1: to jerk it out of him.

881
00:42:56,880 --> 00:43:02,239
Speaker 2: There on the hour, every hour, there's nothing coming out.

882
00:43:02,400 --> 00:43:03,360
Speaker 2: You've done your job.

883
00:43:05,600 --> 00:43:06,240
Speaker 1: Come back.

884
00:43:06,680 --> 00:43:07,600
Speaker 2: I'm sick again.

885
00:43:11,360 --> 00:43:12,680
Speaker 1: I really took a turn, didn't it.

886
00:43:13,360 --> 00:43:16,120
Speaker 2: Sure did. Anyway, that's all we have time for, and again,

887
00:43:16,200 --> 00:43:17,160
Speaker 2: thank you for joining us.

888
00:43:17,280 --> 00:43:23,000
Speaker 1: Leave a review, follow, subscribe if you have. If you'll

889
00:43:23,040 --> 00:43:25,680
Speaker 1: say I've said it before, I'll say it again. If

890
00:43:25,719 --> 00:43:29,200
Speaker 1: you give us a nice compliment on dms on Instagram,

891
00:43:29,400 --> 00:43:33,080
Speaker 1: they're pointless. It's not a good deed because I'm reading it.

892
00:43:33,480 --> 00:43:35,920
Speaker 1: No one else is. I need any love and affection

893
00:43:36,000 --> 00:43:39,480
Speaker 1: to be public. Okay, I'm very needy. I want to

894
00:43:39,560 --> 00:43:42,160
Speaker 1: know that you like us, So if you do want

895
00:43:42,200 --> 00:43:44,799
Speaker 1: to say something nice, there's only one place for it.

896
00:43:44,840 --> 00:43:46,160
Speaker 2: Even if you don't want to say anything nice, I

897
00:43:46,160 --> 00:43:47,160
Speaker 2: couldn't give two shits.

898
00:43:47,280 --> 00:43:49,920
Speaker 1: You know, it's karma. If you want good karma coming

899
00:43:49,960 --> 00:43:52,480
Speaker 1: your way, write a review on Apple Podcasts and.

900
00:43:52,680 --> 00:43:57,480
Speaker 2: Gon do a competition for the best review.

901
00:43:56,880 --> 00:43:59,440
Speaker 1: Genius marketing, Genius right.

902
00:44:00,360 --> 00:44:01,640
Speaker 2: I will jerk you off.

903
00:44:06,080 --> 00:44:19,200
Speaker 1: That you make sailer Kay