WEBVTT - MINI: Empty Tankers

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<v Speaker 1>iHeart Podcast.

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<v Speaker 2>Hear more gold podcasts, playlists, and listen live on the

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<v Speaker 2>free iHeart app. Got anything good?

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<v Speaker 3>Hey, this is the Christian O'Connell Show podcast.

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<v Speaker 2>Now, in the middle of the show, my wife messaged me,

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<v Speaker 2>and this happens with way too much ease.

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<v Speaker 1>My wife, Sarah, I love her.

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<v Speaker 2>But she does not respect that this is a high-skilled job.

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<v Speaker 2>It's like you're on a safety wire every day and

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<v Speaker 2>there's no safety net underneath me. My wife doesn't respect that.

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<v Speaker 2>I keep saying to her, it's like I'm in surgery

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<v Speaker 2>for three hours. Well, actually, in my heart, I could

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<v Speaker 2>never say that out loud, Ria, but thank you.

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<v Speaker 1>For seeing what I do here.

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<v Speaker 2>My wife just sees it like most of the time

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<v Speaker 2>I'm sat around my feet up. just, you know, yakking

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<v Speaker 2>up in here with you. That's how it looks to

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<v Speaker 2>an untrained observer. She said, Chris, I'm about to run

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<v Speaker 2>out of fuel. Can you find out how many Ks

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<v Speaker 2>are in the reserve tank of my car? I've got

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<v Speaker 2>to make it 26 Ks.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm running late.

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<v Speaker 2>No one's ever had to do these complicated maths very quickly,

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<v Speaker 2>whilst also hosting the show.

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<v Speaker 1>This is not the first time.

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<v Speaker 2>My wife is a repeat offender of, for me, as

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<v Speaker 2>soon as I get the fuel gauge gets into the

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<v Speaker 2>final quarter.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm pulling over as soon as I can, filling the car. Oh, coward.

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<v Speaker 2>No.

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<v Speaker 1>What happens in the middle of the night?

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<v Speaker 2>I need to drive a family member or.

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<v Speaker 1>Neighbor to hospital. How far is the hospital? Oh, we're

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<v Speaker 1>just going to go by the 7-Eleven. I've just got

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<v Speaker 1>to fill up.

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<v Speaker 3>Where are you going?

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<v Speaker 1>Alice Springs? No, the ambos are taking too long together.

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<v Speaker 1>I'll drive you. Oh, no, I'm empty.

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<v Speaker 2>We're going to conk out. What if the zombies come?

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<v Speaker 2>I need to go to the high country. I need

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<v Speaker 2>to make it to Echuca and take my peoples there.

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<v Speaker 1>Okay, silly. Oh, no, I'll just run out. I'm running

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<v Speaker 1>out in Hyatt. The zombies are coming for me.

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<v Speaker 4>Damn it.

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<v Speaker 1>I didn't factor in the zombies. No, no.

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<v Speaker 2>Always be ready for a zombie apocalypse. And you're going

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<v Speaker 2>to need those lactose tablets.

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<v Speaker 1>Young man, as well. Have a bag ready, everyone. Be ready.

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<v Speaker 4>I don't know.

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<v Speaker 2>And there are two types of people in life. There

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<v Speaker 2>are the empty tankers and the rest of us.

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<v Speaker 1>Who are you, Ria? Are you an empty tanker? What's

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<v Speaker 1>in that mummy's Volvo you work around in?

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<v Speaker 3>If it hits the light, that is when I'll start

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<v Speaker 3>to think about getting fuel.

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<v Speaker 1>But before then, come on. I feel like you have

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<v Speaker 1>to make sure you use up the fuel. Otherwise, you

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<v Speaker 1>get old, dusty fuel.

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<v Speaker 2>To me, it's like when you haven't eaten anything for

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<v Speaker 2>six or seven hours and you're running on vapors and fuel.

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<v Speaker 2>The car, when you fill it up, goes, thank you,

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<v Speaker 2>I've got a full tummy. It's like you put a

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<v Speaker 2>big Sunday roast in. It's like, oh, I might just

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<v Speaker 2>loosen off these pants. Now, I have a message here

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<v Speaker 2>from Patsy's husband, the Werribee love god.

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<v Speaker 1>G'day, Christian.

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<v Speaker 3>I heard you talking about Sarah asking you how many

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<v Speaker 3>reserve kilometres might be left on an empty tank. At

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<v Speaker 3>least Sarah checks with you. I swear Petrina thinks there's

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<v Speaker 3>an infusion. infinity amount of reserve kilometres left because some

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<v Speaker 3>days I get in the car and the needle doesn't

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<v Speaker 3>even move up to the empty position and I don't

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<v Speaker 3>know whether I'm going to make it to the service station,

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<v Speaker 3>which is literally a 60-second drive around the corner.

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<v Speaker 2>You're right, my wife does love the same as you,

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<v Speaker 2>the Patsy, the infinity tank.

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<v Speaker 1>Yes, it's like a little game. I think, you know what,

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<v Speaker 1>I'll just run the gauntlet. Let's see how far we

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<v Speaker 1>get today.

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<v Speaker 2>It's like you're spinning that revolver chamber. You're playing Russian roulette.

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<v Speaker 2>It will bike you on the backside.

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<v Speaker 1>I hate filling the car. Absolutely hate it.

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<v Speaker 2>I know, but you have to do it or the

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<v Speaker 2>car will at some moment bite you on the backside

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<v Speaker 2>and take out revenge on you by running out.

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<v Speaker 1>No, those reserve tanks are massive. You can go age it.

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<v Speaker 2>Because you keep thinking that when you're still in that

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<v Speaker 2>reserve phase. Yes. I remember a couple of months ago,

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<v Speaker 2>do you remember when my wife ran out of fuel

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<v Speaker 2>and she went, Chris, your car's run out of fuel.

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<v Speaker 1>And I actually said, so is your eye. I actually said,

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<v Speaker 1>so is your eye. I was happy. That would have

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<v Speaker 1>went down well.

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<v Speaker 2>This is what happens. And then she goes, can you

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<v Speaker 2>come and pick me up? I was like, yeah, yeah, sure,

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<v Speaker 2>where are you? She told me where she was and went,

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<v Speaker 2>that's a minute away. Listen, princess, this dam hasn't always

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<v Speaker 2>been picked up. Walk and then think about your consequences

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<v Speaker 2>of your behaviour. All right, so are you an empty tanker? Caitlin,

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<v Speaker 2>you're an empty tanker, I can tell. You run way

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<v Speaker 2>too loose.

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<v Speaker 5>Absolutely, constantly. I actually only have 16 kilometres left today

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<v Speaker 5>as I was driving away.

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<v Speaker 1>You've got to get back to Werribee over the West Gate. No!

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<v Speaker 2>Now, you're one of those people that breaks down and

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<v Speaker 2>then you become my problem.

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<v Speaker 5>I haven't broken down since I was 16 years old.

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<v Speaker 5>I haven't broken down since I was an L-plater. I

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<v Speaker 5>run on empty constantly. I get to zero all the time.

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<v Speaker 2>No way.

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<v Speaker 1>Zero means zero. The car's not going anywhere. You're conking out.

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<v Speaker 5>No, it's lying to you. I literally get to zero

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<v Speaker 5>and I can still make it, I reckon, 5Ks. I've

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<v Speaker 5>never conked out. I've never even felt like the Honda's gone.

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<v Speaker 5>It's not even doing that.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm surprised because the speeds that you run that car at.

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<v Speaker 2>You have a lead foot in that car. Honestly, you

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<v Speaker 2>must burn through.

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<v Speaker 1>She does.

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<v Speaker 5>I will say it again. I go at the speed

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<v Speaker 5>that my body feels. I know what I'm doing. I

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<v Speaker 5>can see people in front of me. I'm safe.

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<v Speaker 3>I'm aware. I'm conscious.

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<v Speaker 1>You're okay. It's the rest of us. Elderly. Trying to

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<v Speaker 1>cross a road.

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<v Speaker 5>I'm in the slipstream constantly.

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<v Speaker 2>That's why I can go.

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<v Speaker 5>On empty fumes because I'm just gliding along.

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<v Speaker 2>You are Fast Furious Melbourne. Right now then, empty tankers.

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<v Speaker 2>Bad time to run out of fuel. A lot of

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<v Speaker 2>you are very proud empty tankers. You know, I think

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<v Speaker 2>it's like people, they get some sort of weird, I

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<v Speaker 2>would say sick perverted thrill from this. Christian, I ran

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<v Speaker 2>out of fuel in the middle of Chapel Street at 5am.

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<v Speaker 2>Oh no.

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<v Speaker 1>Or dangerous. Yeah, you're right. That's when the zombies are out.

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<v Speaker 2>To push my car to the side of the road

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<v Speaker 2>before running to the servo to buy some fuel to

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<v Speaker 2>bring back to the car. was almost late to a

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<v Speaker 2>wedding six hours away. The second part of this is insane.

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<v Speaker 2>Another time we brought a ute nine hours away from home.

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<v Speaker 2>We thought we pushed the limits of the tank to

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<v Speaker 2>make it to the next town for fuel. Sadly, the

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<v Speaker 2>servo was closed and we were stranded in a tiny town.

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<v Speaker 2>We had to siphon fuel from a local lawnmower.

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<v Speaker 4>Oh, God.

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<v Speaker 2>Christian, I'm a proud empty tanker, but I reset my

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<v Speaker 2>trip odometer every time I fill up, so I know

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<v Speaker 2>exactly how many Ks I have until I'm empty. Haven't

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<v Speaker 2>run empty for 14 years. They're very loud and proud. Hi, Kate,

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<v Speaker 2>in their leader. Christian, this is amazing. Vaughan, Christian, I

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<v Speaker 2>once ran out of petrol whilst in a breath test line. Oh,

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<v Speaker 2>my God, this guy's so drunk, he can't even start

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<v Speaker 2>the car. LAUGHTER Let's take some stories here. Lawson, good morning.

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<v Speaker 2>Welcome to the show. Good morning, Christian.

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<v Speaker 4>I'm currently sitting on empty with a 25-minute drive ahead

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<v Speaker 4>of me. Oh, yes.

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<v Speaker 2>A live one.

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<v Speaker 1>How could you live like this, Lawson? The stress, the fear.

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<v Speaker 4>It is stressful, but it's less stressful on my wallet.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, I guess so. But what if you run out?

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<v Speaker 4>Well, you know you can't, you know you can't.

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<v Speaker 1>As we always say.

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<v Speaker 2>Well, listen, Lawson, let us know how you get on.

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<v Speaker 1>But good luck. Thanks for calling the show. Have a

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<v Speaker 1>good day.

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<v Speaker 4>Thank you very much.

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<v Speaker 1>Leanne, good morning.

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<v Speaker 4>Hello, Christian. I absolutely think every car is only polite

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<v Speaker 4>that it beeps at you when it needs fuel.

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<v Speaker 1>It should just sing to you. Sing a little song.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm empty in my tummy. If that went on a

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<v Speaker 2>loop and shit, you'd pull over.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm empty. And it doesn't stop.

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<v Speaker 4>And I had a car that used to politely tell me,

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<v Speaker 4>you need to get fuel in the next 25 Ks

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<v Speaker 4>or so. I've got a new Volvo, would you believe?

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<v Speaker 4>And it broke down. It didn't tell me how much fuel,

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<v Speaker 4>that I needed fuel. It didn't beep at me. And

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<v Speaker 4>I broke down in front of a fire station.

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<v Speaker 1>Oh, no.

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<v Speaker 4>Which wasn't the worst thing, because I had to go

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<v Speaker 4>in and say, excuse me, can you please help me?

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<v Speaker 4>A damsel in distress. So eight burly firemen came out.

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<v Speaker 1>I might break down in front of her.

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<v Speaker 2>I think you did this on purpose.

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<v Speaker 1>I bet they were like, this has got a full

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<v Speaker 1>tank in. We've told you about this, Leanne. It isn't happening. Please,

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<v Speaker 1>come on now. No poles have been slided down, Leanne.

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<v Speaker 1>Drive on.

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<v Speaker 4>I really wanted to video it.

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<v Speaker 2>Leanne, funny story. Thank you very much for sharing. It

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<v Speaker 2>really made us laugh.

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<v Speaker 1>Have a good day.

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<v Speaker 4>You're welcome. Yeah, you too.

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<v Speaker 1>The Christian O'Connell Show.

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<v Speaker 2>Go on.

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<v Speaker 1>Podcast.