WEBVTT - MINI! Danielle May Laidley joins the Pickup!

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<v Speaker 1>Thursday, here on the pickup with Britt, Laura and Mitch

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<v Speaker 1>head into Chemists warehouse Today. You get great savings every day.

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<v Speaker 2>I want to talk to you guys today about the

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<v Speaker 2>original stand documentary that has just come out called Revealed

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<v Speaker 2>Daniel Ladley Two Tribes Now. It's a documentary that looks

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<v Speaker 2>at Daniel Laidley's two worlds colliding. And when I say

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<v Speaker 2>two worlds, that's in reference to the two tribes in

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<v Speaker 2>the title. This is Danielle's life as an ex AFL

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<v Speaker 2>footage player and a coach, and then it's her other

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<v Speaker 2>world as a transgender woman, and it explores what that

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<v Speaker 2>looks like for her and how those decisions were taken

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<v Speaker 2>away from her drug addiction. It's truly inspiring and incredible

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<v Speaker 2>and this is a piece of the documentary.

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<v Speaker 3>The AFL is always is to go football and I

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<v Speaker 3>think you want to hear about me. Today is the

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<v Speaker 3>first time that I've represented both my tribes. Former North

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<v Speaker 3>Melbourne football coach Dean Lately, I've been charged through drug possession.

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<v Speaker 4>Photographs take it at this until the police station have

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<v Speaker 4>gone viral.

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<v Speaker 3>I've got a phone call. Dad's been arrested. I hated

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<v Speaker 3>who I was all.

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<v Speaker 2>The decisions that you've made have not been good ones.

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<v Speaker 2>I don't think anyone really knew what Danny went through.

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<v Speaker 2>We actually have Danielle with us today.

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<v Speaker 3>Hi, Danielle. Hi, Danielle, Hi, by getting how are you?

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<v Speaker 4>Oh, we're so well Danielle even just listening to that

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<v Speaker 4>the shorts for the stand the documentary, like how do

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<v Speaker 4>you feel when you hear that back?

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<v Speaker 3>I'm okay. Now. When we were going through the filming

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<v Speaker 3>the first edit, Nora and I watched it together and

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<v Speaker 3>within ninety seconds were very, very emotional, and we basically

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<v Speaker 3>cried through the whole the whole film. But now we've

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<v Speaker 3>watched it, I don't know, maybe ten times because we

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<v Speaker 3>had to watch it through all the different edits. Now

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<v Speaker 3>we can sort of watch it quite objectively. We're really

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<v Speaker 3>proud of the final package. We've been now able to

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<v Speaker 3>tell our story in our own words, because the narrative,

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<v Speaker 3>you know, when it very first became public was not good. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 3>there was a lot of false things said, there was

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<v Speaker 3>a lot of innuendo, and that was, you know, probably

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<v Speaker 3>the main reason why we wanted to make the film

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<v Speaker 3>so we could tell our story in our words.

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<v Speaker 1>Daniel I think for a bit of context as well,

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<v Speaker 1>you played one hundred and fifty one games for men's

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<v Speaker 1>AFL West Coast Eagles and North Melbourne football clubs. And

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<v Speaker 1>I think the story is so important that now as

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<v Speaker 1>a transgender woman, that coming out of that reveal was

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<v Speaker 1>completely taken from your hands. You had no power in that.

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<v Speaker 1>And if you don't mind speaking to how that happened,

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<v Speaker 1>I think it's in the documentary. It is really powerful.

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<v Speaker 1>But if you can speak to what happened in that situation,

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<v Speaker 1>I think that is so important to hear.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah, I was going through a pretty bad time at

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<v Speaker 3>in my life. You know, I'd never touched drugs or

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<v Speaker 3>anything like that, and was introduced from a relationship that

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<v Speaker 3>I was in and it got really bad. I still

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<v Speaker 3>hadn't been diagnosed with gender dysphoria, and eventually it just

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<v Speaker 3>came out one day when I was seeing my counselor

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<v Speaker 3>at the time, you know, I got diagnosed with a

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<v Speaker 3>gender psyche and hindocrinologists and all that sort of stuff,

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<v Speaker 3>and we were starting to plan a strategy of Okay,

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<v Speaker 3>how do we get the family together, how do we

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<v Speaker 3>tell friends? So we put a strategy in that we

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<v Speaker 3>were going to approach the AFL, but unfortunately that was

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<v Speaker 3>taken away when I was outed by the Victoria police.

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<v Speaker 3>You know, I got arrested, and it was a fun enough.

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<v Speaker 3>It was me who rang the police and said I'm

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<v Speaker 3>breaking the intervention order because I was just at such

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<v Speaker 3>a low point. I didn't know what to do. My

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<v Speaker 3>drug use was spiraling. I just had been diagnosed with

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<v Speaker 3>gina dysphoria. Went stood out in front of my property

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<v Speaker 3>and called them and they came and arrested me, which

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<v Speaker 3>was a bad decision on top of a few others

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<v Speaker 3>that I'd made. You would think the Victoria police would

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<v Speaker 3>show some care and empathy and go through the legalities

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<v Speaker 3>of what had happened. But to have police members take

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<v Speaker 3>photos of me, take my phone, take photos off my phone.

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<v Speaker 3>It was very public, so all those plans that we

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<v Speaker 3>were starting to put in place. The AFL family friends

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<v Speaker 3>found out about it when you did, when they saw

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<v Speaker 3>it in the paper.

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<v Speaker 1>We are talking to her former AFL grade, Danielle Ladley,

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<v Speaker 1>who you may have seen this has recently start in

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<v Speaker 1>her own stand original documentary series all about her life,

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<v Speaker 1>her career, and her incredible story of going from AFL

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<v Speaker 1>football grade to her life now as a transgender woman.

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<v Speaker 4>Was there any consequence for the police who were at

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<v Speaker 4>fault here? How did that process end up?

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<v Speaker 3>There was about forty odd who got charged internally with

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<v Speaker 3>something called disgusting behavior, and then is that.

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<v Speaker 2>The actual term?

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<v Speaker 4>Danielle?

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah?

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<v Speaker 2>Wow, I didn't even know that that was something you

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<v Speaker 2>could be charged with. When was it that you knew

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<v Speaker 2>you felt different?

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<v Speaker 3>The very first time it happened to me, I was probably.

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<v Speaker 5>Six years of age, and there were wow, literally hundreds

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<v Speaker 5>of things going through my childhood and then early teens

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<v Speaker 5>and having depression and anxiety.

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<v Speaker 3>I didn't know why I was feeling this way, filing

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<v Speaker 3>back delays over the last six or seven years, I

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<v Speaker 3>can now label that as little Danielle. In times when

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<v Speaker 3>it was speaking, she wanted attention, she wanted love, she

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<v Speaker 3>wanted affection, she wanted all that sort of stuff. And

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<v Speaker 3>the one thing that I've learned is you can't outrun

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<v Speaker 3>gender dysphoria. As I got a little bit older and

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<v Speaker 3>the Internet comes along and I was able to meet

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<v Speaker 3>people and talk to people, it started to become clearer.

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<v Speaker 2>It must have been nice to have that revelation and

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<v Speaker 2>be like, Wow, I'm not actually alone, like there are

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<v Speaker 2>other people that are going through what I'm going through

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<v Speaker 2>totally well.

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<v Speaker 1>That I mean that is watching this doco. That is

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<v Speaker 1>couldn't be more clearer, the two worlds colliding. Stay there, Danielle.

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<v Speaker 1>We want to delve more into your second part of

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<v Speaker 1>your life, your time as a transgender woman and being

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<v Speaker 1>part of the lgbt QAA plus community. More with Danielle

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<v Speaker 1>after this on the Pickup. We're back right around Australia.

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<v Speaker 1>Thursday afternoon. It is the pick Up. We've brit Laura

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<v Speaker 1>and Mitch head into chemist Warehouse today great savings every

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<v Speaker 1>day joining us. Now we're back with Danielle Lady. It's

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<v Speaker 1>on Stan the new Stand. Original docer revealed Danielle Lady

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<v Speaker 1>Two Tribes. We've just been talking to Danielle. This is

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<v Speaker 1>an incredible story, right Laura.

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<v Speaker 4>It really is. And daniel how did the AFL and

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<v Speaker 4>also your own family respond to finding out that you

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<v Speaker 4>were not being able to live authentically.

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<v Speaker 3>It's caused a lot of grief with the in our

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<v Speaker 3>family of how it came out, and we're still on

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<v Speaker 3>some fronts working through that. The AFL having lived in fear,

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<v Speaker 3>the shame, and embarrassment of what perhaps people would think

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<v Speaker 3>of me. From the CEO of the AFL, Gilma Blocklin,

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<v Speaker 3>to you know, people I coach, people I played with,

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<v Speaker 3>the wider football community have been so supportive and caring

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<v Speaker 3>and everything I've literally had in the last oh we

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<v Speaker 3>can a bit now, thousands of messages thank you for

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<v Speaker 3>telling your story. The next most important thing was showing

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<v Speaker 3>what we went through for families. I'm hoping that that

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<v Speaker 3>it's a real education piece for a lot of people.

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<v Speaker 3>It from all walks of life.

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<v Speaker 1>Danielle, as someone who identifies as gay myself, I have

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<v Speaker 1>the exact same feelings about my sexuality. I had them

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<v Speaker 1>at a similar age, and it pales in comparison to yours,

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<v Speaker 1>and sexuality and gender are different. But we have so

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<v Speaker 1>many parents listening at the pickup right now, I just

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<v Speaker 1>I want to ask you and give you the opportunity

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<v Speaker 1>to maybe offer some advice on how potentially parents can

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<v Speaker 1>deal with their children's gender dysphoria potentially and their kids,

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<v Speaker 1>and maybe even explaining what gender dysphoria is.

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<v Speaker 3>No, gender dysphoria is how you feel on the inside

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<v Speaker 3>is not congruent with what is portrayed on the outside.

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<v Speaker 3>That's where the dysphoria comes. That's where the wrestle comes in.

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<v Speaker 3>To any parent or to any teenager, the best thing

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<v Speaker 3>to do is to be able to talk about your

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<v Speaker 3>feelings and then as a family, whichever member it is,

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<v Speaker 3>seek some professional help. There's some great facilities and resources

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<v Speaker 3>out there now. As a transgender person, I've been dealing

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<v Speaker 3>with this my whole life. Others around me, some have

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<v Speaker 3>known for seven or eight years when I very first

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<v Speaker 3>started to live my life as myself, just not in

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<v Speaker 3>front of my kids or at my place of work.

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<v Speaker 3>It's a big change and it's only new for them.

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<v Speaker 3>So as transgender people too, we need to be patient

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<v Speaker 3>with all those around us.

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<v Speaker 1>This is the pickup. We're talking to former AFL Great

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<v Speaker 1>Daniel Lady, who was recently starting a stand original documentary

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<v Speaker 1>all about her time as at AFL Great and now

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<v Speaker 1>living as a transgender woman.

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<v Speaker 2>I would just love to I know one thing I

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<v Speaker 2>know just a couple of days ago, And excuse my ignorance.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm not an AFL person, but I saw an article

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<v Speaker 2>about one of the AFL players. There was a photo

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<v Speaker 2>that was taken last week. He had just lost the

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<v Speaker 2>match he had his hands over his face and he

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<v Speaker 2>had painted fingernails, and there were so many homophobic comments

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<v Speaker 2>that I saw on that thread about that. It wasn't

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<v Speaker 2>about the game, wasn't about how amazing he played. It

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<v Speaker 2>was about the fact that he had his fingernails crazed.

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<v Speaker 2>And there was a part of me that thought, Wow,

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<v Speaker 2>how are we still having these conversations. Do you see

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<v Speaker 2>the tide turning in society at the moment or are

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<v Speaker 2>you hoping that this documentary is going to really help that.

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<v Speaker 3>I hope the documentary helps that. I think the gay

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<v Speaker 3>and lesbian movement is so far in front being educated

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<v Speaker 3>for many years still though there's a hell of a

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<v Speaker 3>lot of work to do.

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<v Speaker 1>I agree.

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<v Speaker 3>Now, all of a sudden, we have a young footballer

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<v Speaker 3>that wants to paint his nails. Yeah, so what exactly

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<v Speaker 3>he's on that ground because he has a talent at

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<v Speaker 3>an elite sport. What that messaging just in that picture

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<v Speaker 3>says within the four walls of AFL football clubs, people

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<v Speaker 3>can be themselves outside that. It's a societal issue that

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<v Speaker 3>you know, the stuff that you're just talking about, stuff

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<v Speaker 3>that I go through still every day. That's where we've

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<v Speaker 3>got a lot of work.

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<v Speaker 4>To Daniel Thestan documentary. I think it's so beautiful that

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<v Speaker 4>you're able to reclaim your story. And I think that

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<v Speaker 4>this is really going to reframe for people, especially for

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<v Speaker 4>anybody who may have just skimmed over headlines in the

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<v Speaker 4>news or seen something and made up a judgment. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 4>and that's what we do, right, We see a headline,

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<v Speaker 4>we make a snap judgment. And this is an opportunity

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<v Speaker 4>for you to be able to really share your story

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<v Speaker 4>in your way. And one of the things I think

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<v Speaker 4>is so beautiful about your story is your relationship with Donna.

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<v Speaker 4>How you've been in each other's lives throughout your your

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<v Speaker 4>whole life. It's incredible. And was there ever a time

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<v Speaker 4>in your life where you were maybe surprised because you know,

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<v Speaker 4>society tells you that you're not lovable when you're going

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<v Speaker 4>through this, that somebody is going to stay there and

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<v Speaker 4>love you regardless of who you are or how you present,

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<v Speaker 4>because of the person that you are. Just think it, like,

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<v Speaker 4>it's just such a beautiful part of your story.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah, And you know, I suppose the choice was to

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<v Speaker 3>live and be my authentic self. I thought the ramifications

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<v Speaker 3>of that decision rather than leaving this world in a sad,

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<v Speaker 3>sorry state. I'll probably be by myself for the rest

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<v Speaker 3>of my life. And so Donald and I had reconnected,

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<v Speaker 3>but I still hadn't told her. Donald will openly say,

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<v Speaker 3>why can't you just love another person. I'm forever, ever

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<v Speaker 3>grateful for that and the reality with our relationship, I

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<v Speaker 3>can be myself. It's beautiful, best version of myself. And

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<v Speaker 3>so CONDI. Yeah, we have a lot of fun. We're

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<v Speaker 3>basically inseparable. We do everything together, you know. We live

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<v Speaker 3>between Melbourne and Perth and we fly sort of every

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<v Speaker 3>second week, every third week, and I'm grateful.

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<v Speaker 2>Everyone we're all doing our team. This documentary is incredible.

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<v Speaker 2>If you guys are listening to this haven't seen it,

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<v Speaker 2>please go and watch the stand documentary revealed Danielle Lately

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<v Speaker 2>Two Tribes. It's incredible. Thank you for giving us your time.

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<v Speaker 4>You're amazing.

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<v Speaker 3>Thank you. I'm very grateful to spend some time. Look

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<v Speaker 3>forward to talking in the future.

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<v Speaker 4>Thanks so much.

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<v Speaker 1>All right, guys, we're back after this. On the pickup