Speaker 1: Hello, lovely listeners, and welcome back to a very very
Speaker 1: special episode of Life Uncut.
Speaker 2: Why is it so special, Well, the Bachelor's over, so
Speaker 2: we've probably got nothing to talk about now.
Speaker 1: Brittany, Well, i'd like to say a big welcome back
Speaker 1: to you, Laura, because you came back from a little
Speaker 1: island get away. Well.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I went on holidays, but I kind of need
Speaker 2: a holiday for my holiday. Going on holidays without your
Speaker 2: partner with a newborn baby, and with my sister with
Speaker 2: her one year old baby, it was just bedlam add salute,
Speaker 2: bedlamb meat.
Speaker 1: The fuckers goes on holiday? Did you just say fuckers?
Speaker 1: No fockers? Oh? Sorry, I have seen that movie. It's fine.
Speaker 1: So how was it. What's Magnetic Island like? Is it
Speaker 1: a bit backwards?
Speaker 2: Well, it's definitely trapped in a TimewARP. But I don't
Speaker 2: know if you can call place backwards, can you?
Speaker 1: Yeah, you can call it what you want. It's not
Speaker 1: The people who are listening to are from Magnetic Island. Sorry, guys,
Speaker 1: when I say backwards, I mean just like, not forwards joking.
Speaker 1: I just mean no internet or electricity. It is a
Speaker 1: simple life, isn't it. People just go there to relax
Speaker 1: and fish and just chill out.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's definitely very very relaxed. They have the internet,
Speaker 2: and they have electricity and running water and flushing toilets.
Speaker 1: Prettey, it is wild. It's a wildlife up there. Yeah.
Speaker 2: It is definitely a very slow paced in comparison to Sydney.
Speaker 1: Yeah right, well, welcome back to the rat race. What
Speaker 1: did you do? Oh? I just I just worked NonStop.
Speaker 1: I don't. I had a really uneventful week. That's to
Speaker 1: be honest. I have nothing to report to you, and
Speaker 1: I apologize. Oh well that was fun. Thanks for the update.
Speaker 1: Couldn't you just lie and make something up?
Speaker 2: You're single? Go dating can come at me with some
Speaker 2: shitty dating story.
Speaker 1: I haven't been on any dates. I haven't even had
Speaker 1: time to call you.
Speaker 2: Just make them up at least so then I feel
Speaker 2: like something's going on here because I need to live
Speaker 2: my single life through you. Tell me about that date
Speaker 2: you went on Friday night.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, it was insane. He was just like over.
Speaker 2: Means away through dinner. Oh my goodness, Brittany, your life
Speaker 2: is wild.
Speaker 1: I'll work on trying to get you a real story.
Speaker 1: How about that?
Speaker 2: So today's episode of Life Uncut is very special because
Speaker 2: we're not talking about the Bachelor. So for the few people,
Speaker 2: there's not many of you, but there's been a few
Speaker 2: people who have said, please stop doing recaps. We will
Speaker 2: not stop doing recaps, however, we will stop today because
Speaker 2: the Bachelor's over. Can I say more people have been
Speaker 2: frothing on the recaps than not liking them. Why would
Speaker 2: you listen to us yap on about anything if it
Speaker 2: wasn't to do with the Bachelor, because the rest of
Speaker 2: the podcast is unqualified. So in this episode instead, we
Speaker 2: have decided that we are going to do a very
Speaker 2: special Ask Uncut segment. Is it special though? Because really
Speaker 2: special said special? Full time, I'm special.
Speaker 1: Okay, everything is said, Okay, okay, just tell us what
Speaker 1: the episode about.
Speaker 2: Cool when you're a part of the team. So the
Speaker 2: episode is going to be us answering your questions because
Speaker 2: we hate receive. We received so many questions it's actually
Speaker 2: ridiculous and we haven't had a chance to go through
Speaker 2: them all. However, we've picked six doozies for you for today.
Speaker 2: We are going to answer them to the best of
Speaker 2: our abilities.
Speaker 1: Which may not be great, but we'll give it a
Speaker 1: great great I love our advice. I would know our advice. Well,
Speaker 1: we do follow our advice. It's our advice.
Speaker 2: It's all the things that I think that you should do,
Speaker 2: but not necessarily the things that I do do.
Speaker 1: Do you know what I do hate that? I hate
Speaker 1: when people dish out advice but they don't follow their own.
Speaker 1: Are you criticizing me now, Brittany borderline? Well, but you know,
Speaker 1: it's like it is, and it happens a lot. It's
Speaker 1: so easy for somebody to say he's an asshole, leave him,
Speaker 1: But then it might be in your own relationship that
Speaker 1: you you know, your partner's anshole and you're gonna you
Speaker 1: know what I mean, Like a lot of people dish
Speaker 1: it and they can't take it one hundred percent.
Speaker 2: I have stayed with assholes for a very long time,
Speaker 2: regardless of the advice that I would have given to
Speaker 2: my friends. However, I also do think that you need
Speaker 2: to kind of go on your own journey and figure
Speaker 2: that stuff out for yourself. It's all fine for someone
Speaker 2: to give you advice, but maybe the advice that we're
Speaker 2: giving might come to someone when they're at a very
Speaker 2: pivotal for in the road and it may just nudge
Speaker 2: them into the right direction.
Speaker 1: Okay, so what did you learn this week? I always
Speaker 1: love when you've read something of interest or just what
Speaker 1: can you bring to the table Today.
Speaker 2: I was on an island running around after seeing I
Speaker 2: really didn't read anything. You don't make me sound dumb.
Speaker 2: I've done nothing. I've spent my whole week being backwards.
Speaker 2: But okay, no, that's a light. I did actually see
Speaker 2: something which you're going to find very entertaining and yes,
Speaker 2: truly appreciate. But anyone who listened to episode four where
Speaker 2: Brittany talked about vaginal steaming, not that I do it,
Speaker 2: just to be clear that I thought it was ridiculous,
Speaker 2: please please, So it's just come out on Yelp as
Speaker 2: one of the top beauty treatments of twenty nineteen.
Speaker 1: Oh, shut the front door. It has not. It absolutely has.
Speaker 2: So Gwyneth Paltrow has some influence in case you're wondering,
Speaker 2: you can get in there and steam your vagina, But
Speaker 2: don't do that because it is very much advised against
Speaker 2: from all gynocologists and pretty much anyone with half a brain.
Speaker 1: God, it just goes to show you how much pulled
Speaker 1: that woman has because it's literally there is no evidence
Speaker 1: for it, and there's all the evidence against it, the
Speaker 1: fact that it actually kills the healthy bacteria in your
Speaker 1: vagina that is supposed to help keep you clean and healthy.
Speaker 2: Steaming's just like annihilating it. I wonder if anyone who's
Speaker 2: listening to this has actually done it. My friend, please,
Speaker 2: can you just send me a message and let me
Speaker 2: know what your thoughts are? Like?
Speaker 1: What was it like? Did you enjoy it? Do you
Speaker 1: feel like you have a fresh so my gamed clam.
Speaker 1: My girlfriend wrote to me after that and she's like,
Speaker 1: you're gonna love this. But I did this, and I
Speaker 1: knew if anyone was going to do it, it was her
Speaker 1: because she's really into health but and like trying different things,
Speaker 1: like she will be the person to try it, do
Speaker 1: you know what I mean? Yeah, So she tried it
Speaker 1: and I said how to go, and she's like, it
Speaker 1: was bloody hilarious. I think she did it once. She's like,
Speaker 1: not for me, Bernie, my vagina, so very what have
Speaker 1: you got for me? What else?
Speaker 2: Apart from nothing and work happening in your life? Have
Speaker 2: you read anything that's been interesting or well?
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean speaking of vaginas. I actually do have
Speaker 1: something I'm read interesting. So, you know, when you go
Speaker 1: on a night out, But how this is sun Earth?
Speaker 2: Is this leading into a vagina story? And I'm really
Speaker 2: sorry we've said that word a lot in this episode.
Speaker 1: Well, you know, you're on a night out, you order
Speaker 1: your Uber home, you might order Uber eats to meet
Speaker 1: you at your house. Surely I'm not the only person
Speaker 1: that does that.
Speaker 2: No, I always do that. I try and tie my
Speaker 2: Uber eats with my car ride.
Speaker 1: I do it all that. We meet perfectly at my doorway.
Speaker 1: It's almost like this game. And you know you get
Speaker 1: ten points if you nail it, or five stars. Yeah,
Speaker 1: or five stars. So people now can order their Uber
Speaker 1: they can order their Uber eat, and they can order
Speaker 1: their Uber prostitute. Well I thought prostitution was not legal.
Speaker 2: Well, let's say I don't know a lot about prostitutions,
Speaker 2: so I may be incorrect.
Speaker 1: You can order Uber sex. Wow. So it's basically it's
Speaker 1: just Tinder, that's what they're saying. That's literally Tinder. What
Speaker 1: are you talking about except you have to pay for it?
Speaker 2: Well, at least it's probably easier than Tinder, Like you
Speaker 2: don't have to start with all like the chat but
Speaker 2: pretty much that's what Tinder is, right, Like, I mean,
Speaker 2: if you're gonna have hangs and bangs in a night
Speaker 2: with a guy who you don't know, what's the difference
Speaker 2: between just kind of being like, hey, come on over
Speaker 2: allie for fifty on the counter.
Speaker 1: Well, I mean this is true, but I guess we've
Speaker 1: always sort of had it in a way. They used
Speaker 1: to do sex workers like, I mean, they still do it.
Speaker 1: They put ads online, and they used to have it
Speaker 1: in the paper sometimes. Yeah, it used to be in
Speaker 1: the back of the paper, in the section. I remember
Speaker 1: being a kid and reading through them and being like,
Speaker 1: so naughty. Well, now you can just go onto these apps.
Speaker 1: There's a few apps. One of them is called toopi,
Speaker 1: for example, and that gives you access to local escorts,
Speaker 1: and then you can separate that to sections like female, gay,
Speaker 1: and she male. So there are other buttons that are
Speaker 1: like personal data, approximate location, pricing, and even a cool
Speaker 1: now button. So I feel like you're doing an ad
Speaker 1: for this, Britt, I'm not, but I just found it
Speaker 1: is the name of the app in there. I'm weird
Speaker 1: at it.
Speaker 2: We can take the name of that about BRIT's very single.
Speaker 2: She just these are the things that she's reading about.
Speaker 1: Can I highlight that I do not use these apps
Speaker 1: and I do not give me your phone. Give me
Speaker 1: your phone now it's broken up, left in the car,
Speaker 1: and then it's sunk in a boat. She's sitting on it. Guys,
Speaker 1: she's sitting on it. Anyway, I thought that was interesting
Speaker 1: that it just shows you where technology is going. Everything's
Speaker 1: so accessible. So now you can get your ear, but
Speaker 1: get your pizza and get your prostitute. Perfect. It sounds
Speaker 1: like a great Friday night in. On a different note,
Speaker 1: on a positive, Facebook are following Instagram's move to remove
Speaker 1: likes and the you know you can get little like
Speaker 1: reactions on Facebook where they do all the faces and stuff. Yes,
Speaker 1: well they're removing that, like Instagram have removed likes, so
Speaker 1: you can still see it privately. Why are they removing
Speaker 1: like reactions though as well? Like just well, they did
Speaker 1: a lot of research and they got a lot of
Speaker 1: responses from psychology and bullying and different institutions, and they
Speaker 1: just said that it's just too much comparison and it's
Speaker 1: affecting mental health too much on people, especially young people
Speaker 1: who have only grown up in this era of having that,
Speaker 1: they don't remember what it was like before, so their
Speaker 1: whole life is dependent. Like somebody I know a few
Speaker 1: days ago put up a profile picture and said, oh
Speaker 1: my god, I'm so concerned no one's going to like it.
Speaker 1: Oh gosh, it's not that terrible that that's where the
Speaker 1: mindset is. And I always said to her, don't you can't.
Speaker 1: Don't worry about that, but what's the picture? And she's
Speaker 1: told me what it was, and I was like, it's great,
Speaker 1: it was a big moment of your life. Who cares?
Speaker 1: And then it was like, oh, I'm half an hour
Speaker 1: in and as only this many people have liked it,
Speaker 1: and that was really to me. I'm like, oh my god,
Speaker 1: this really weighs heavily on so many people. I didn't realize.
Speaker 2: But the issue, though I have with the whole likes
Speaker 2: thing is that even though the likes are removed publicly,
Speaker 2: the person who's posted the photo still knows if someone's
Speaker 2: liked it or hasn't liked it, So they're still going
Speaker 2: to get that feedback as to whether it's not been
Speaker 2: a successful photo of it's been received positively. So I
Speaker 2: don't necessarily think that it goes far enough or that
Speaker 2: it hits the nail on the head with resolving the problem,
Speaker 2: because the problem goes much deeper than it just being
Speaker 2: the fact that other people can see what likes you've had.
Speaker 1: For sure, it definitely goes deeper, but you have to
Speaker 1: admit that just knowing yourself, oh, only five people liked
Speaker 1: that photo is different to knowing the whole world knows
Speaker 1: only five people. So you've it maybe for a second like, oh,
Speaker 1: it didn't go well, but at least no one knows
Speaker 1: that true.
Speaker 2: And it does mean that you don't have to be
Speaker 2: quite so concerned or sensiti about the type of content
Speaker 2: that you're putting out there, and you're able to sort
Speaker 2: of be more yeah, and be more yourself because there's
Speaker 2: less criticism. I was really skeptic, and I've changed my
Speaker 2: mind now on this, but I was really really skeptic
Speaker 2: when Instagram first and Facebook first changed and removed the
Speaker 2: whole no likes thing. And from like a and this
Speaker 2: is going to sound anyone who's like er influences, this
Speaker 2: is going to sound like I'm being a deck head.
Speaker 2: But from an influencer perspective, my issue with it was
Speaker 2: not that it was going to make it.
Speaker 1: Hard to make money. Whatever.
Speaker 2: Don't really care because Instagram is a very secondary source
Speaker 2: of income for me. But my issue with it was
Speaker 2: that I thought and there has been a few reports
Speaker 2: that have come out on this as well, saying that
Speaker 2: Instagram had a very clever marketing tactic and used mental
Speaker 2: health as a way to remove likes, but not so
Speaker 2: much so because they were concerned about the effects on
Speaker 2: mental health. They they were concerned about the fact that
Speaker 2: influencers are making a billion dollar business off Instagram for free,
Speaker 2: and their ad platform is not performing very well. So
Speaker 2: by removing influencers' ability to make money and to be
Speaker 2: able to prove their engagement, it would mean that their
Speaker 2: Instagram ads wouldn't be seen as doing so poorly, because
Speaker 2: in comparison to ads verse influencers, the ads looked terrible
Speaker 2: because no one wants to be sold something, so people
Speaker 2: aren't putting money into Instagram ads. They're putting their money
Speaker 2: into influencers, and it was a way for Instagram to
Speaker 2: take focus away from the influencers and to rechannel that
Speaker 2: into their own paid ads. But they did it under
Speaker 2: the guise of mental health to try and get everyone
Speaker 2: on board, which at the time I thought was very
Speaker 2: clever and very sneaky, But now moving on a couple
Speaker 2: of months down the track, I actually don't care what
Speaker 2: the initial incentive was behind it.
Speaker 1: I do think it's had a positive impact. But is
Speaker 1: that a big call to say that they definitely had
Speaker 1: no one's mental health in mind and it was just
Speaker 1: monetary because maybe they really maybe it was a bit
Speaker 1: of a column ade, bit.
Speaker 2: Of col and Bee totally, and I do think it
Speaker 2: was that. However, I think if Instagram's main objective is
Speaker 2: to try and stamp out bullying, I really think that
Speaker 2: there are so many bigger things that they should be
Speaker 2: doing other than just removing likes, because I don't personally
Speaker 2: think that looking at Justin Bieber having two million more
Speaker 2: probably more than that, having eight million likes on a
Speaker 2: photo is affecting my mental health as much as looking
Speaker 2: at the content in a photo. Looking at a girl
Speaker 2: who's photoshopped themselves in a bikini, that I think makes
Speaker 2: me feel far worse because I look at that photo
Speaker 2: and go, God, I don't look like that. So Instagram
Speaker 2: doesn't do anything to censor the content. They only sense
Speaker 2: a nudity.
Speaker 1: But I don't think that's my issue. Yeah, with that point,
Speaker 1: I'm not sure that they're taking away the likes. It's
Speaker 1: not so that you look at Justin Bieber and feel
Speaker 1: shit that he got eight million and you got five.
Speaker 1: It's so that when you get five, you don't feel
Speaker 1: shit because everyone doesn't know you got five. Do you
Speaker 1: know what I mean? It's not about you looking at
Speaker 1: him saying he got two million all of a sudden,
Speaker 1: it's saving your mental health because people aren't looking at
Speaker 1: you saying, oh, she only got five likes.
Speaker 2: I agree, I do think that evens the playing field.
Speaker 2: I just think that if Instagram's a main motivation is
Speaker 2: to stamp out any sort of impact on mental health,
Speaker 2: then I think that there are more that they can do,
Speaker 2: and that there are probably some greaterst steps in that direction,
Speaker 2: which is to control content. And I also think that
Speaker 2: they need to have a two way authentication system. So
Speaker 2: now at the moment, if someone's bullying me and I
Speaker 2: block them, they can just go and get a new
Speaker 2: email address and then start again. What they need to
Speaker 2: do is they need to link a mobile number to
Speaker 2: an email address, so that way I can't create multiple accounts.
Speaker 2: But they don't want to do that because they don't
Speaker 2: want to reduce the amount of users on their platform.
Speaker 1: But then would that limit people? For example, you have
Speaker 1: Laura Burn, you have Tony May, and now you have
Speaker 1: Life on Cut podcasts. And I have Brittany and I
Speaker 1: have Life on Cut podcasts. So is that going to
Speaker 1: limit people from opening multiple accounts for good, proper business reasons.
Speaker 2: Or what it kind of means is like, if someone's
Speaker 2: been blocked under one account, then surely that they could
Speaker 2: then look at that account and go, okay, well that
Speaker 2: account is linked to the same phone number, so this
Speaker 2: new account is also going to be blocked. Yeah, So
Speaker 2: what I'm saying is that it's very easy for someone
Speaker 2: to create a new email address, but they can't create
Speaker 2: a new phone number very easily. So if I've created
Speaker 2: multiple accounts under the one email so under the one
Speaker 2: phone number, then what that would do is means that
Speaker 2: if someone blocks one account, then it blocks all the accounts.
Speaker 1: Yeah, so it means you just have to use your
Speaker 1: drug phone for your bullying account.
Speaker 2: I keep that one under the bed, guys. Anyway, that
Speaker 2: just took a real Instagram turn. We weren't planning on that,
Speaker 2: but there we go.
Speaker 1: No, but that was a solid discussion. Thanks, You're welcome
Speaker 1: that I brought that to the table. Do you want
Speaker 1: to hit me with the first question? Yes? Yes, I do.
Speaker 1: All right, So question number or no? Mm hmm. That
Speaker 1: means one that anyone listening.
Speaker 2: Because Brittany did an Italian course, remember if you heard
Speaker 2: the last episode, so she knows Italian?
Speaker 1: Or no.
Speaker 2: I'm in the middle of a breakup with my boyfriend
Speaker 2: of six years. I believe we are the perfect match,
Speaker 2: but needed some time apart to reassess relationship. We still
Speaker 2: hang out and see each other all the time, and
Speaker 2: sometimes we also sleep together. When I explain the situation
Speaker 2: to friends and family, they often give their unsolicited advice,
Speaker 2: such as we shouldn't be seeing each other, or even
Speaker 2: that we shouldn't be in contact. It's really hard to
Speaker 2: make up my own mind and stop others from influencing
Speaker 2: my decisions about my relationships. Thoughts on the right way
Speaker 2: to break up.
Speaker 1: It's so normal to go through a breakup when you're
Speaker 1: when you've been someone a long time and you just
Speaker 1: know that they're not the right person anymore. That doesn't
Speaker 1: mean that something horrible happened or that you still love
Speaker 1: the person, but you're not in love with them, if
Speaker 1: that makes sense. And I think it's really hard for
Speaker 1: a lot of people to have a clean break. And
Speaker 1: I do think it's normal to go on for a
Speaker 1: little bit where maybe you might see each other again,
Speaker 1: sleep together, hook up. I think that's normal. But there
Speaker 1: comes a time where you have to it's not emotionally healthy.
Speaker 1: There comes the time you have to cut the line where.
Speaker 2: You're kind of weeding yourself off each other, like you're
Speaker 2: actually because you know you're so dependent on seeing that person,
Speaker 2: there've been such an integral part of your day and
Speaker 2: your identity. Instead of having a severe break, you kind
Speaker 2: of are slowly weaning yourself away from that person. My
Speaker 2: issue with this is, Brittany.
Speaker 1: It's always an issue. My issue is.
Speaker 2: That it completely contradicts what she has just said. She
Speaker 2: said that they broke up because they wanted to have
Speaker 2: some time away from each other to reassess their relationship. Girlfriend,
Speaker 2: you are not having any time away from him. You
Speaker 2: are just now friends with benefits. If you're still seeing
Speaker 2: each other every day and you're still talking to each
Speaker 2: other all the time, and you're still sleeping with each other,
Speaker 2: then unfortunately, you've just moved into this very messy area
Speaker 2: where one of you are going to get very hurt.
Speaker 1: But also that means maybe you don't actually want to
Speaker 1: break up. I don't know.
Speaker 2: I disagree. I think it doesn't mean that they're not
Speaker 2: ready to break up. I think that they are ready
Speaker 2: to break up. They're just not ready to be alone.
Speaker 2: That's the bigger thing, like be on their own, because
Speaker 2: being on your own after being with someone for five
Speaker 2: six years is massive, and so it's easier to just
Speaker 2: fall into patent routine than to go, Okay, I'm a
Speaker 2: little bit lonely today and I have to kind of
Speaker 2: figure out what the fuck I'm going to do with myself.
Speaker 1: It's a comfort, isn't it. Totally all of a sudden,
Speaker 1: you go home to empty house and you're like, sir,
Speaker 1: gonna make spag on toast, spa on toes. I've done
Speaker 1: it before. Once again, Brittany has a wild Friday nights. Guys.
Speaker 2: Look, I've done this myself in past relationships, and I
Speaker 2: have definitely broken up and known that that was the
Speaker 2: best decision and that I didn't want to be with
Speaker 2: that person anymore, but had still gone back and forth
Speaker 2: back and forth for a while, and a lot of
Speaker 2: it for me came from being lonely and not wanting
Speaker 2: to be alone. But I don't think that you should
Speaker 2: use your ex partner as a crutch to get over
Speaker 2: your ex partner. It doesn't work, and you can't really
Speaker 2: wean yourself off each other because one of you are
Speaker 2: going to eventually meet someone else, or one of you
Speaker 2: is going to wean faster and it's going to leave
Speaker 2: the other person.
Speaker 1: Are you laughing at my hand? Actions here? Laughing at
Speaker 1: your head and the word ween? That's very immature. Okay.
Speaker 1: I'm trying to give profound advice here, Brittany, and you're
Speaker 1: just laughing. I just think you have like a wien
Speaker 1: a hot dog. Oh my god, stop it.
Speaker 2: Anyway, I think that your friends and your family are
Speaker 2: giving their unsolicited advice, and yes, it may not be
Speaker 2: what you want to hear. However, I do think that
Speaker 2: it probably is the best advice, and maybe you should
Speaker 2: if you really want to break up with your partner,
Speaker 2: give yourself a few solid weeks go. Okay, I'm going
Speaker 2: to not speak to him. I'm not going to have
Speaker 2: him as a part of my life for four weeks
Speaker 2: or six weeks, just give yourself a block so that
Speaker 2: you have some breathing space and actually sit through the
Speaker 2: parts of that hurt. So when there are days when
Speaker 2: you miss him, when there are hours where you feel like,
Speaker 2: oh gosh, the weight of this breakup actually is hurting me. Now,
Speaker 2: don't contact him because you need to know if that's real,
Speaker 2: so that then you can reassess whether you do want
Speaker 2: to be together or not, because right now you're living
Speaker 2: in each other's pockets and you don't you're not even
Speaker 2: broken up.
Speaker 1: You're not feeling the breakup yet. And it's definitely at
Speaker 1: one hundred percent a possibility that you two are going
Speaker 1: to get back together and you could be together. That
Speaker 1: does happen all the time, totally, But the confusion right
Speaker 1: now is there. So sit in it, figure it out,
Speaker 1: work it out, but you have to be on your own.
Speaker 2: One more thing I'm going to add to this is
Speaker 2: I love to just continue and drag points out for
Speaker 2: a really long time. Is breakups fucking hurt. They out
Speaker 2: hurt most of them, and you don't need to try
Speaker 2: and minimize that hurt by trying to go back to
Speaker 2: the same person. It ends up being a really selfish
Speaker 2: way of getting over a breakup, because you're going to
Speaker 2: end up causing more hurt to each other.
Speaker 1: Not maybe now, but in the long run. Amen, thank you.
Speaker 2: I love it when you say amen, like praise to
Speaker 2: your answer. We do this after every question. Amen's sister, Amen,
Speaker 2: what would you rather be say?
Speaker 1: I can cur I do? I like that? Huh, I'll
Speaker 1: use that one question number two, Brittany, all right, I
Speaker 1: have a feeling you're going to be passionate about this one. Okay. Recently,
Speaker 1: my female neighbor asked me if i'd like to hang out.
Speaker 1: She's new to Brisbane and we're both in our late twenties,
Speaker 1: so I'm assuming she just wants to make friends. We
Speaker 1: hung out, she came over for dinner, and whilst she
Speaker 1: was lovely from my end, we just didn't click. Different
Speaker 1: senses of humor, et cetera. I feel like it's socially
Speaker 1: acceptable to tell a potential romantic partner that you don't
Speaker 1: feel the spark, but how do you say it to
Speaker 1: a potential friend. It's more awkward because she's my neighbor,
Speaker 1: so she's always around. She asked me to hang out
Speaker 1: again recently and go to the movies, totally related to
Speaker 1: what you guys were saying about wanting fewer friends when
Speaker 1: you don't have that much time. So how does she
Speaker 1: tell her neighbor that she doesn't want her to be
Speaker 1: in her good friend circle?
Speaker 2: This is such a good question because this is something
Speaker 2: that we have all faced, probably multiple times, where we've
Speaker 2: met people and you know what, like they're great, but
Speaker 2: you're like, we don't vibe, like we're not friends who
Speaker 2: are going to vibe?
Speaker 1: Well, not when you only have ten minutes spare a week.
Speaker 2: Yes, and you don't want to bring in new people
Speaker 2: into your friendship circle because you know your friendship circle full.
Speaker 2: Lucky you if your friendship circle it's full.
Speaker 1: This is hard because I don't advocate lying, but just
Speaker 1: say someone asked you to hang out that In this position,
Speaker 1: you could say, normally, oh, I would love you, but
Speaker 1: I have this on I'm not going to be around
Speaker 1: or whatever. But when she lives next door and she's
Speaker 1: looking at you with binoculars through the window, you can't
Speaker 1: say I'm not going to be home because she knows
Speaker 1: you are. So this is difficult.
Speaker 2: It definitely is a bit difficult, and it definitely creates
Speaker 2: a very awkward situation. There's potential for it to be awkward,
Speaker 2: but at the same time, it is funny how it's
Speaker 2: so socially acceptable if we have a lukewarm feelings towards
Speaker 2: our romantic partners to be able to say, hey, look,
Speaker 2: it was really nice to go on a first date
Speaker 2: with you, but it's not going to go anywhere. But
Speaker 2: we don't really have that reaction when we meet lukewarm friends.
Speaker 2: We're like, hey, like, yeah, cool, you're a nice person,
Speaker 2: but we're not going to vibe, so like, let's just
Speaker 2: call it a day.
Speaker 1: We don't do that, do we. No, we don't why
Speaker 1: hurting people's feelings?
Speaker 2: Yeah, like we don't want to be confrontational. I actually
Speaker 2: think in this situation, if if she's very sure that
Speaker 2: she doesn't want to open up her friendship circle to
Speaker 2: her neighbor because she's time poor and she doesn't feel
Speaker 2: like they really vibe or they get much out of
Speaker 2: each other. You've only been on one date friendship date
Speaker 2: with this person, right, you've been on one friendship date.
Speaker 2: You don't owe her an explanation. You don't always have
Speaker 2: to sit down and have a conversation with someone and
Speaker 2: talk out your feelings about why you feel a certain way.
Speaker 2: You don't really owe her anything, to be honest, and
Speaker 2: maybe that's a bit brutal, but you don't know.
Speaker 1: But I don't think it's about oweing her an explanation.
Speaker 1: She's more just saying how do I navigate this? Because
Speaker 1: she's messaged her and ask her to hang out again,
Speaker 1: so she just doesn't know how to deal with it.
Speaker 1: So I think that maybe you could just say, be honest,
Speaker 1: say look, I'm so flat out for time over the
Speaker 1: next few weeks, but maybe we could grab a coffee
Speaker 1: in a couple of weeks when things a he's up
Speaker 1: a bit.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but then you're still leaving that open for the
Speaker 2: potential of a coffee in a few weeks time. Then
Speaker 2: what if that person doesn't get the point, is that
Speaker 2: then a problem?
Speaker 1: Well then maybe in a few weeks time, when she
Speaker 1: asks for the coffee, you could say I'm not drinking
Speaker 1: coffee this month. No, But I think people you get
Speaker 1: the gist.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I do agree, But also maybe your neighbor's in
Speaker 2: a situation where she needs to make more friends, and
Speaker 2: it doesn't mean that you have to then be the
Speaker 2: one that fills that hole.
Speaker 1: For her.
Speaker 2: So I think, just as brit said, like you're able
Speaker 2: to just say, look, I'm really really busy at the moment,
Speaker 2: I don't really have time for it. It was awesome hanging
Speaker 2: out the other night, but you know, you do you,
Speaker 2: I'll do me. We can wave from across the fence
Speaker 2: and she will get the point. But it's not your
Speaker 2: job to have to fill that hole for her, especially
Speaker 2: if you're not feeling it either, because time is precious
Speaker 2: and you don't want to spend it where you're not
Speaker 2: feeling fulfilled. You know what's that book, The Subtle Art
Speaker 2: of Not Giving a Fuck, where it always talks about
Speaker 2: how you have to just remove the things from your
Speaker 2: life that don't give you purpose and don't add to
Speaker 2: your life. And you know, unfortunately there are acquaintances and
Speaker 2: friends who they're for. Those friendships are one sided, and
Speaker 2: eventually you do have to just make room for yourself. Yeah,
Speaker 2: and take care of yourself.
Speaker 1: And that's okay, And this woman knows that, but her
Speaker 1: problems more obviously, she just doesn't know how to hurt
Speaker 1: someone's feelings. She doesn't know how to have the hard conversation.
Speaker 1: That's all.
Speaker 2: That's what I'm saying you don't owe someone the conversation.
Speaker 2: You literally can just say I'm too busy, yeah, and
Speaker 2: that's fine, And.
Speaker 1: That's what I think you do. I think you just say, hey,
Speaker 1: life's so hectic at the moment, I don't know if
Speaker 1: I'll be able to have time totally over the next
Speaker 1: little while, and you could say a little while as well,
Speaker 1: instead of like putting her number on it. I don't
Speaker 1: know if I have time over the next little while.
Speaker 1: I don't think I have time over the next twenty
Speaker 1: five years. Sorry, I'm really busy. It might be a
Speaker 1: little bit awkward when you see her in the future,
Speaker 1: but also does it really matter? Does it matter if
Speaker 1: that encounter is awkward from time to time. You don't
Speaker 1: have to have an easy, breezy situation relationship with everyone.
Speaker 1: It doesn't matter if you look over the fence and
Speaker 1: you're like, hey, hore you going having a tea party
Speaker 1: here with my friend? Call bye, Like.
Speaker 2: I think you'll be able to get through your day
Speaker 2: if that's the level of awkwardness that you have to
Speaker 2: face in your life. And sometimes that's just just the
Speaker 2: repercussions of the choices that we make.
Speaker 1: Has that ever happened to you. Actually, have you ever
Speaker 1: said to someone, oh, I can't come tonight because I'm
Speaker 1: stuck at home doing homework, And then you've you've walked
Speaker 1: out the door with your other friend and you run
Speaker 1: into someone like or a boyfriend, was like an awkward
Speaker 1: situation like that ever happened? Like not as an adult,
Speaker 1: because I'm really do believe in just being direct about stuff,
Speaker 1: because as soon as you start lying, you just create
Speaker 1: complicated webs of complication in your life. So I try
Speaker 1: not to kind of fabricate things that I'm not doing.
Speaker 1: I'd just rather say, hey, guys, I'm being an arsehole
Speaker 1: and I'm staying on the couch tonight. I remember I
Speaker 1: was seeing this guy for a little while, but we
Speaker 1: were not together, like by any means, and that was
Speaker 1: definitely on his end, so we were sort of seeing
Speaker 1: other people. I guess what he was. So I decided
Speaker 1: to as well. And one night he.
Speaker 2: So making me feel sorry for you with this story.
Speaker 2: Well you know, he didn't want me, So then I
Speaker 2: did this, and Oh, I loved.
Speaker 1: This guy so hard to I would have married him.
Speaker 1: If you ever hear me talking about this one person
Speaker 1: that he was it for me, but I wasn't it
Speaker 1: for him. This is the one guy. This is this
Speaker 1: story actually in Bondy and I was finally like, you
Speaker 1: know what, fuck it, I'm just not gonna sit on
Speaker 1: the end of your fishing line anymore. So he asked
Speaker 1: me one night, I say, hey, let's hey, let's catch up.
Speaker 1: You know, I miss you whatever, like whatever waker anyway,
Speaker 1: so I said, I actually, she's not bitter about it either.
Speaker 1: I actually can't tonight. You know, I've already said to
Speaker 1: my girlfriends that I'll meet up with them. But really
Speaker 1: I was like branching out and going on another date. Anyway,
Speaker 1: I'm walking down.
Speaker 2: The street with this new guy and he's sitting at
Speaker 2: a cafe looking straight at me, and he walks out
Speaker 2: and he's like, hey, Britt, and I was like oh.
Speaker 2: I was like, oh, hi, this is my friend visiting.
Speaker 1: That was like the most awkward minment. Anyway. He messaged
Speaker 1: me later being like, I know you were on a
Speaker 1: date and I was like, yeah, it was and it
Speaker 1: was so hot. Oh and that's my story, but it
Speaker 1: was a pretty hard moment. You guys continued dating after that, well, yeah,
Speaker 1: I use the term dating loosely, but that went on
Speaker 1: and on for like two years. That's why Britt gives
Speaker 1: relationship dating advice. I remember when I told you I
Speaker 1: spontaneously like the most romantic thing I've done was flown
Speaker 1: to New York for that guy. Should I ever tell
Speaker 1: you that? Yes? Anyway, this is the same guy he do.
Speaker 1: You want to share that story with everyone who's listening.
Speaker 2: Just basically this guy after two years of this got
Speaker 2: ongoing saga.
Speaker 1: I said, you know what, leave me the hell alone,
Speaker 1: stop stringing me along. I'm going on my round the
Speaker 1: world trip. So off I went for three years and
Speaker 1: we didn't speak for a year, and then he finally
Speaker 1: slid back into my life, which I knew he would do.
Speaker 1: So he slides in, Hey, I mister, just been thinking
Speaker 1: about you. So I'm like, okay, a year's gone, past
Speaker 1: time over it. We started writing back to each other.
Speaker 1: He started sending me letters. It was so cute, and
Speaker 1: he was like, I, how can I ever make it
Speaker 1: up to you? All I've thought about for last year
Speaker 1: is you. You are everything I want. Kids, the White
Speaker 1: Piga fans, whatever. I made a terrible mistake. He even
Speaker 1: called me a unicorn, which is like the nicest thing
Speaker 1: anyone that was saying in a weird you are a unicorn.
Speaker 1: You're my unicorn. My laugh is a unicorn. That's about it.
Speaker 1: Oh stop it. That was awful. So no, So anyway,
Speaker 1: we reignited this over another six month period, facetiming, calling, messaging,
Speaker 1: lettering every day, planning our life like we were back together.
Speaker 1: So then he's like, we need to see each other.
Speaker 1: So I flew to New York and I was like,
Speaker 1: let's do this. And then once we'm were face to face.
Speaker 1: We hung out for five days and he's like, I
Speaker 1: just don't think it's it again.
Speaker 2: And I was like, that is so so hectic. But
Speaker 2: then I left New York. In the taxi, I was
Speaker 2: like I'm going. And I wasn't crying or anything, as
Speaker 2: you know, I'm semi emotionally void. I was like, okay, cool,
Speaker 2: I'm stoic, I'm not emotionally void.
Speaker 1: Yeah. I cried a lot after, but I was like, fine,
Speaker 1: I'm going. He balled. It was like a movie. He
Speaker 1: was running down the street next to the taxi crying
Speaker 1: and I stopped the taxi and I said, why are
Speaker 1: you crying? I was like stop it, you want this?
Speaker 1: This is fine? You'll be okay, and he's just like
Speaker 1: I just I don't know why.
Speaker 2: He sounds like an absolute head case. And that was
Speaker 2: two years of your life that you should not have
Speaker 2: invested in someone who was so emotionally.
Speaker 1: Not there yo yo, not available.
Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, but then you know what, Brett, that experience
Speaker 2: has just added to the wealth of good knowledge that
Speaker 2: you have to impart on other people.
Speaker 1: Anyway, we were not I don't even know how he
Speaker 1: got into that story. I was not even going to
Speaker 1: tell that. But give me another question. No, I did
Speaker 1: the last question. It's your turn. Okay, my bad.
Speaker 2: Oh no, you did the last question. It's yeah, oh crap, Okay, okay.
Speaker 2: Hard to get fined a question, hard to get good help, guys. Sorry,
Speaker 2: I work for free for her, That's why I'm here.
Speaker 1: Okay.
Speaker 2: This one is very full on, and I really want
Speaker 2: to give this person some strong advice. Okay, and I
Speaker 2: would like your strong advice. So do you want me
Speaker 2: to give you my full attention?
Speaker 1: Yes?
Speaker 2: I want you to stop playing on your phone, Brittan
Speaker 2: and give me your full attention. Okay, this one comes in.
Speaker 2: I'm currently married with a lovely husband and my life
Speaker 2: is great. We got married young five years ago and
Speaker 2: we've been together for ten years in total. We have
Speaker 2: a great life together and we're about to start building
Speaker 2: a house. But I've never really gotten over my ex
Speaker 2: from ten years ago. Things didn't end well and so
Speaker 2: I moved on quickly, but he's always been in the
Speaker 2: back of my mind. Last week I found out he
Speaker 2: moved into state, and even though we hadn't spoken in
Speaker 2: about five years, I messaged him. We talked a little,
Speaker 2: and then when I mentioned that I would be in
Speaker 2: his area for work next week, he asked for a drink.
Speaker 2: It was respectful and not ill intended. I told my
Speaker 2: husband to be transparent. Long story. I was hoping for closure,
Speaker 2: but all that has done is brought everything up again.
Speaker 2: We realize we both still love each other and feel
Speaker 2: that we should have ended up together. Nothing happened, but
Speaker 2: I feel so torn and broken and I don't know
Speaker 2: what to do. I feel like I have the chance
Speaker 2: to be with a person I have always loved and
Speaker 2: a whole new level of happiness, but it could come
Speaker 2: at a cost of being selfish and hurting so many others,
Speaker 2: namely my husband, who doesn't deserve this. I honestly have
Speaker 2: no idea how to move forward, so any advice you
Speaker 2: could offer would be appreciated. Such a tragic love story.
Speaker 1: Have you listened to our episode The Grass is Always Greener?
Speaker 1: If you haven't, go and do that stat and then
Speaker 1: reassessed the situation.
Speaker 2: Yes, So how do you feel about this, brit Ah?
Speaker 2: I really this says a pickled dickle if I've ever
Speaker 2: heard of one, Oh, pickled, that's a new one, my
Speaker 2: pickled dickle. This is a super big pickled dickle.
Speaker 1: I think that you have been with him ten years
Speaker 1: and you said yourself, great guy. It is normal, so
Speaker 1: normal to go through these parts of a relationship where
Speaker 1: you not necessarily look outside, but you wonder if something
Speaker 1: could be better, because after ten years things get a
Speaker 1: bit monotonous. But that is life. And if you leave
Speaker 1: and go to this new person in ten years time,
Speaker 1: the same thing will probably happen. I think you're really
Speaker 1: grasping at what if, what could it be? Would it
Speaker 1: be with the sex be better? Would he love me more?
Speaker 1: Would we adventure more? Would we have a different life.
Speaker 1: I think it'd be a big mistake to go and
Speaker 1: pursue that now, after ten years and after one little meetup.
Speaker 2: So I think that right now, this is a huge temptation,
Speaker 2: and in every marriage there will always be temptation, and
Speaker 2: part of the commitment that you've made in your marriage,
Speaker 2: bows is that you will try and resist this, and
Speaker 2: that you will resist this hashtag forever, hashtag forever through
Speaker 2: sickness and health and through ex boyfriends.
Speaker 1: And through social media totally. Look.
Speaker 2: I think the issue with the situation is that you
Speaker 2: don't know your ex from the past ten years. You
Speaker 2: haven't spent any time with him. You don't know his life,
Speaker 2: you don't know what he's experienced, you don't know the
Speaker 2: person that he is now ten years down the track.
Speaker 2: And people they change and they don't change all in
Speaker 2: the same time. The thing that you're obsessing over is
Speaker 2: a fantasy. You are obsessing over a fantastical relationship that
Speaker 2: does not exist. The relationship that does exist, though, is
Speaker 2: the relationship that you have with your husband, which is
Speaker 2: real and which you also know you've said yourself, is great.
Speaker 2: It's reliable, it's constant, and you're with someone who treats
Speaker 2: you the way that you deserve to be treated. I
Speaker 2: don't know the reasons why you broke up with your
Speaker 2: ex in the past, but there was a reason why
Speaker 2: you broke up.
Speaker 1: I guess the question is, is there really something going
Speaker 1: on in your current relationship that is making you look elsewhere.
Speaker 1: I don't think you should be paying your ex right
Speaker 1: now any attention, because it's unfair on your husband, and
Speaker 1: it's unfair on the other guy, and it's unfair on
Speaker 1: you you emotionally. You need to put all your energy
Speaker 1: and focus into your current relationship.
Speaker 2: I honestly also think that we almost everyone has baggage
Speaker 2: from the past. Almost everyone has an ex that they
Speaker 2: didn't quite get over. Like, this isn't a unique situation
Speaker 2: first love. Yeah, just like there's everyone has that. I
Speaker 2: like to call it like the ping, Like that's this
Speaker 2: feeling that you get.
Speaker 1: Of course you do.
Speaker 2: It's like a ping whenever you think about that person
Speaker 2: or you reminisce on the relationship. You know, you get
Speaker 2: this like a little stab to your heart and you're like, God,
Speaker 2: that person really got in there. You know, you're not
Speaker 2: necessarily still in love with them whilst you're in love
Speaker 2: with your new partner, but you do have this like
Speaker 2: this thing feeling.
Speaker 1: This ping. God damn it.
Speaker 2: That will always happen throughout your life because you have
Speaker 2: these memories. Now, if you've managed to spend ten years
Speaker 2: of your relationship just having that ping, that's okay. But
Speaker 2: that ping has only developed into something potentially more in
Speaker 2: your mind because you pursued it, and you're creating that
Speaker 2: now by going and contacting him and nurturing it. So
Speaker 2: I think that you can put it to bed. It
Speaker 2: can still just be a ping, which is what most
Speaker 2: people have for someone in their past, but by digging
Speaker 2: it up and trying to create something there like this
Speaker 2: is going to this is going to completely unravel your
Speaker 2: current relationship, which is stable and with someone who you love,
Speaker 2: just for something that's completely unstable and unreliable, and you
Speaker 2: may end up with nothing by trying to chase after
Speaker 2: something that doesn't exist yet.
Speaker 1: You can't also continue to message him or catch up
Speaker 1: with him, and you might lie to yourself and say
Speaker 1: we're just old friends catching up, but now you know
Speaker 1: that's not true. You know there's more, and if this continues,
Speaker 1: it will very quickly turn into what I like to call,
Speaker 1: and probably everyone likes to call, emotional cheating. So you
Speaker 1: need to steer clear of that for respect sake of
Speaker 1: your husband.
Speaker 2: It also emotionally cheating can be worse I think than
Speaker 2: physical cheating in some sort situations, because you know, you
Speaker 2: can get over a one night stand that men own
Speaker 2: when I say it meant nothing. Of course, cheating never
Speaker 2: means nothing, I know. But you can get over something
Speaker 2: that's physical. I think it's very difficult to get over
Speaker 2: something that's completely emotional because it just is a fundamental
Speaker 2: shift in your feelings towards someone.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, we all know how serious it is when
Speaker 1: you're emotionally invested in someone. You know that if someone
Speaker 1: else is emotionally invested, that their whole They've given their
Speaker 1: whole soul and heart to somebody, and that is worse
Speaker 1: than I know, this sounds bad. It's worse than it's
Speaker 1: giving your body to someone for a night. Like you said,
Speaker 1: I don't want to understand when it's emotionally, you're like, oh,
Speaker 1: it cuts so much.
Speaker 2: There's an investment in that. The last thing I really
Speaker 2: want to say on this is you are not your feelings.
Speaker 2: So you yeah, I know, I'm propound you are not
Speaker 2: your feelings. Feelings are dynamic and they can change day
Speaker 2: to day. The feelings and the intensity that you have
Speaker 2: for your ex partner now, weren't there two months ago.
Speaker 2: You may have had nice, fond memories of him, and
Speaker 2: he may have been in the back of your mind,
Speaker 2: but that intensity was not there. So the fact that
Speaker 2: that's changed over night, basically after a meeting, that just
Speaker 2: shows that this is this is a lust, this is
Speaker 2: a fantasy. You don't need to be driven by the
Speaker 2: feelings that you're having right now. But what you are
Speaker 2: is you are the history that you've built with your husband.
Speaker 2: You are the memories and the life that the two
Speaker 2: of you are creating with each other, and you're the
Speaker 2: commitment that you've made to each other. So if you
Speaker 2: spend as much time and energy focusing on your marriage
Speaker 2: as you are on this fantasy, I can guarantee you
Speaker 2: you'll probably get back to being at a point where
Speaker 2: you're very, very happy with your husband. And I think
Speaker 2: that's what you should focus on. Because, girlfriend, this sounds
Speaker 2: fucking messy and I'm.
Speaker 1: Really worried about you. You know what I want to add?
Speaker 1: Do you want to swear at her? Amen? Amen's sister.
Speaker 2: Okay, that's a really good question, and I really really
Speaker 2: hope that you make it out the other side of
Speaker 2: this without throwing away everything that's important to you.
Speaker 1: Me too, I really do. Now it is your turn, Okay.
Speaker 1: I really like this one because I feel like it
Speaker 1: speaks to me gone through a hectic breakup and I've
Speaker 1: had to move back in with my parents. Although tedious,
Speaker 1: it's allowing me to save money. I'm thinking of traveling
Speaker 1: by myself over the UNI break, but I haven't traveled
Speaker 1: alone before. What do you think about traveling alone as
Speaker 1: a woman in your twenties? Is it lonely? Would I
Speaker 1: still have as much fun? Any tips? Please? Yes, Queen,
Speaker 1: go traveling.
Speaker 2: Some of my best memories in life are traveling by
Speaker 2: myself in my twenties after a bad breakup, where I
Speaker 2: was like, fuck you man, I'm going to go live
Speaker 2: my best life. And guess what, God damn, I went
Speaker 2: and lived my best life. So travel and travel and travel.
Speaker 2: Just don't be an idiot and travel to dangerous places
Speaker 2: on your own. Just be smart and be safe.
Speaker 1: Travel. Yeah, and if anyone knows me, you'll know that
Speaker 1: I've spent the last decade traveling and most of that, well,
Speaker 1: a lot of that's been on my own. When I
Speaker 1: was eighteen, I moved to Italy by myself because I
Speaker 1: was like, I need to just go and be independent.
Speaker 2: This is when you learn to speak Italian with all
Speaker 2: the sixty year old men. No I talked about came
Speaker 2: last episode.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that came after So to answer this girl's question,
Speaker 1: can it be lonely? Is it scary? Yeah? For sure?
Speaker 1: I cried on the plane the whole way over. What
Speaker 1: was I doing the first two weeks? I cried every
Speaker 1: day because I was alone in a foreign country and
Speaker 1: it was scary. But then I knew if I gave
Speaker 1: myself enough time, it would settle. So after a few weeks,
Speaker 1: I finally started to embrace the situation. Okay, cool, I'm
Speaker 1: in another country by myself. Well let's go explore, let's
Speaker 1: go meet people. And it became the best year of
Speaker 1: my life. That then, in turn, has allowed me to
Speaker 1: travel a loads of places by myself because I know
Speaker 1: what you can get from it. I've also done a
Speaker 1: lot with my sister. If you go to a hostel
Speaker 1: by yourself, you will be alone for probably one hour.
Speaker 1: That's it until you meet a horde of people that
Speaker 1: are also there, traveling alone because that's what happens, and
Speaker 1: drinking because that's what you do in hostility, you make
Speaker 1: you will make you will make friends for life in hostels,
Speaker 1: and then you start traveling with that person, so all
Speaker 1: of a sudden you're not traveling alone. Someone's like, hey,
Speaker 1: you want to come to Costa Rica, and you're like, yeah,
Speaker 1: actually I do, let's go. I one hundred percent agree
Speaker 1: with you, Brittany. Hostels are great, and I do think
Speaker 1: and I love this quote that travel is the best education.
Speaker 1: You learn so much more from going and seeing the
Speaker 1: world about yourself, about the world, about other people that
Speaker 1: you will ever learn from sitting at home on Bondi
Speaker 1: beach reading a travel book.
Speaker 2: I love this and I love this question, and I
Speaker 2: really hope that you just take life by the balls
Speaker 2: and go overseas and go and explore the world, because
Speaker 2: I have honestly felt the most me when I have
Speaker 2: been on my own traveling overseas. And I know that
Speaker 2: sounds crazy, because but the idea is like, you leave
Speaker 2: all the shit behind, you leave your identity behind. You
Speaker 2: can be whoever whatever you want to be. People don't
Speaker 2: know you, there's no like hang ups, just everything has
Speaker 2: gone and everything is fresh. You know, this clean slate
Speaker 2: to just explore and really absorb, and I think you
Speaker 2: will come back a happier better. You're gonna come back
Speaker 2: so well, there going to be that girl who traveled.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, spy, it's true.
Speaker 1: People. You really this quote people going and finding themselves.
Speaker 1: It is a thing I know.
Speaker 2: I mean it also makes you a travel wanker. Don't
Speaker 2: come back and be like, oh my god, I spent
Speaker 2: like three weeks in India and I'm so enlightened. Now,
Speaker 2: don't be that person.
Speaker 1: To be fair, I've been to fifty countries. When I
Speaker 1: say I found myself, not three weeks in India.
Speaker 2: I do believe I went to India and stayed with
Speaker 2: all these people in Risha Kash and I found myself.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, you are just so many people are
Speaker 1: gonna hate you right now.
Speaker 2: Yeah maybe I know, maybe they did fins I actually
Speaker 2: did this, But I know that I am a travel wanker.
Speaker 1: So don't worry. I love it. Are actually going to
Speaker 1: go find themselves in three weeks. And I take my
Speaker 1: hat off to you. If you find yourself in three
Speaker 1: weeks took me a lot longer. Absolutely, to anyone that's
Speaker 1: even remotely thinking about going traveling by yourself. One hundred percent. Yeah,
Speaker 1: we're both huge advocates of it. Just don't like Laura said,
Speaker 1: you just have to be safe. You just don't go
Speaker 1: and do drugs and get drunk in a dangerous part
Speaker 1: of the city on your own. But you wouldn't do
Speaker 1: that in your own city in Australia, would you. It's
Speaker 1: the same thing.
Speaker 2: I do think you have to have sensibility if it's
Speaker 2: if it's something that you wouldn't do in this country,
Speaker 2: don't go and do it in that Country's So that's
Speaker 2: the one thing about travel that sometimes pisses me off
Speaker 2: is like we think that because we're in a country
Speaker 2: where the laws are a little bit lax, we can
Speaker 2: just whoo guess what. You can still die, So don't
Speaker 2: be stupid.
Speaker 1: And you know what a really good thing is, a
Speaker 1: really good tip for single travelers is always have somebody,
Speaker 1: even if they're back in Australia, knows where you are.
Speaker 1: So my dad it's like a CIA agent. My dad
Speaker 1: knew where I was before I knew where I was,
Speaker 1: and I don't know how, but he was on it.
Speaker 1: So if anything had ever happened to me overseas, he
Speaker 1: knew he would know what the coffee shop.
Speaker 2: Was that I was at the in the morning. God's
Speaker 2: like the movie Taken. That's that's your dad, my dad. Well, see,
Speaker 2: he wanted to sing again on Bachelor Hometown. He was
Speaker 2: put on as like the dad from Hell, like this
Speaker 2: big protective bikey, which he's not the dad from Hell,
Speaker 2: but he's a big protective bikey.
Speaker 1: Well, Brittany, thank you for that family history. Thank you
Speaker 1: for that. Anyway, go travel.
Speaker 2: I have one more question which I want to throw
Speaker 2: in the mix, and then I reckon we can call
Speaker 2: it a day. Okay, Okay, So this question is really
Speaker 2: really long, so I'm just gonna kind of like summarize
Speaker 2: it in my own words. So for the person who
Speaker 2: wrote it in, I'm sorry that I'm putting words in
Speaker 2: your mouth.
Speaker 1: Literally. Okay, let's proceed. So basically, I think she's in
Speaker 1: New Zealand.
Speaker 2: He's in Perth. We're gonna call him Perth Boy. Very original, Laura,
Speaker 2: thank you, I'm very good at names. So Perth Boy
Speaker 2: came to New Zealand, they met, they went on a
Speaker 2: road trip, many romance, many romantic relationships were made. Well
Speaker 2: who knows, but maybe some sexies. Anyway, So then Perth
Speaker 2: Boy goes back home. They've seen each other once or
Speaker 2: twice since, Like she's flown over to Perth Boy, Perth
Speaker 2: Boy's flowing over to New Zealand. Perth Boy has now
Speaker 2: said a long distance relationship is too hard. He doesn't
Speaker 2: want to do a long distance relationship. New Zealand Girl,
Speaker 2: also original, is heartbroken. New Zealand Girl wants to do
Speaker 2: a long distance relationship. She's down for a long distance relationship.
Speaker 2: She's also worried now if she tries to invest herself
Speaker 2: into someone else in Your Zealand, that they're not going
Speaker 2: to match up to Perk Boy. So she doesn't really
Speaker 2: know how to proceed, how to get over it. She's
Speaker 2: in a real pickle diickle.
Speaker 1: I don't think she is in a pickleedickle, because why
Speaker 1: do you have to do along distance relationship? Is there
Speaker 1: something that is adamantly keeping both of you in your
Speaker 1: respective countries, Because if this guy is that bloody brilliant,
Speaker 1: you'd move to him, or he'd move to you, or
Speaker 1: you'd move to a new city together.
Speaker 2: Well, I mean maybe they do have situations that mean
Speaker 2: they can't move right now. Like that's being very black
Speaker 2: and white, Brittany, and it is not you. You're a
Speaker 2: gray girl. It is very black and white.
Speaker 1: I don't know. I love love, and I think for
Speaker 1: the right person, you would move. I know, for the
Speaker 1: right person, I would move anywhere for them. Well, I
Speaker 1: think the issue with this is not so much the moving.
Speaker 1: It's the fact that Babe, he doesn't want to do
Speaker 1: a long distance relationship. He's not as into you as
Speaker 1: you are into him. And I know that that is
Speaker 1: a shitty bullet to swallow. I think any bullet would
Speaker 1: be pretty shitty to swallow. I think it's a pill.
Speaker 1: I said that saying wrong anyway, that's okay, it can
Speaker 1: be in you say yeah, I know it's a shitty
Speaker 1: bullet to swallow. So I think the take home from
Speaker 1: this is maybe you are more invested in this relationship
Speaker 1: than he is, which is painful in itself. But what
Speaker 1: you are also infatuated with and excited about, just like
Speaker 1: we were talking about in the last question, is the
Speaker 1: fantasy of the relationship. Because as much as you've spent
Speaker 1: a little bit of time together and all the texting
Speaker 1: and everything else, you haven't really cemented yourself in each
Speaker 1: other's lives. You don't know what it would be like
Speaker 1: to have a proper, like committed, day to day relationship
Speaker 1: with each other where you have to fight about stupid
Speaker 1: shit like who's going to clean each other's washing and
Speaker 1: do household stuff. That's all we fight about.
Speaker 2: Now, So you're mourning a relationship that could have been,
Speaker 2: not a relationship that has been. So now what you're
Speaker 2: doing is you're robbing yourself from a potential real relationship.
Speaker 2: And that's really crap because you might meet someone who
Speaker 2: is amazing, but you know what, you just have to
Speaker 2: spend some time in actually getting over this guy first.
Speaker 1: Okay, so not being black and white, just say you
Speaker 1: do have something keeping you from moving together and being together,
Speaker 1: then exactly what you said is correct. You need to
Speaker 1: just let go of that. If it's not going to happen,
Speaker 1: if you can't, if one of you can't is stuck
Speaker 1: because of kids or whatever, just say yes, the other
Speaker 1: person can't move to them to continue the relationship, then
Speaker 1: they're not they're not the right person.
Speaker 2: Yes, I think that if it's the wrong time, wrong situation,
Speaker 2: then unfortunately that makes them the wrong person.
Speaker 1: Yeah. I'm a big believer in if it's meant to
Speaker 1: be or be, and if you want anything bad enough,
Speaker 1: you can go and make it happen. I agree, Brittany,
Speaker 1: I really really agree. Yes, I do feel sorry. I
Speaker 1: do feel really sorry for this girl because the idea
Speaker 1: of being that in love and infatuated with someone and
Speaker 1: not being an option sucks.
Speaker 2: But but do you know what this is the Other
Speaker 2: thing with this is is that you're you're going through
Speaker 2: a breakup. This is actually a breakup. It's just you
Speaker 2: haven't dated the person you know, and that sometimes these
Speaker 2: breakups are just as hard because they're emotional. Yeah, and
Speaker 2: that's almost like you're not allowed to be as upset
Speaker 2: as what you are. But you know what, you can
Speaker 2: be as upset as you want. This is a real breakup.
Speaker 2: You're mourning the loss of what could be, and you're
Speaker 2: mourning the person that you know you're in love with.
Speaker 2: And so you're not expect to throw yourself into another
Speaker 2: relationship straight away. Allow yourself to get over this one,
Speaker 2: get over this guy, and in time, I promise you
Speaker 2: you will, because time heals everything.
Speaker 1: I said. That's saying right, So time heal everything. They
Speaker 1: certainly don't. That is what you would say.
Speaker 2: Time heals everything, and in time, your feelings towards this
Speaker 2: guy will fade, and somebody who is great and someone
Speaker 2: who's meant for you and someone who is happy to
Speaker 2: step up to the plate and be committed to you
Speaker 2: and isn't in another freaking country will come into the picture.
Speaker 2: So I think, feel through this breakup and allow yourself
Speaker 2: time to be sad about it, and that's okay as well.
Speaker 1: Amen, thank you. I think that's a rap. Oh my god,
Speaker 1: is that a rat? I think it's a salad rap? Britain?
Speaker 1: Did you see a salad rap or a solid rap
Speaker 1: salad doubt? I made dad jokes like this now tomorrow
Speaker 1: when I'm not anywhere near being a dad. Guys, this
Speaker 1: is a wrap on our first season of Life Uncut Yees.
Speaker 1: Season one is done. We hope you enjoyed it. We
Speaker 1: know you have, because you've been so responsive and written
Speaker 1: in so many great reviews, and you've slid into our
Speaker 1: dms so much and you've kept us, you know, in
Speaker 1: the top of the chart. So we are so thankful
Speaker 1: for you.
Speaker 2: I know, this is absolutely wild. We didn't really have
Speaker 2: any great expectations on what this podcast could be when
Speaker 2: we started it, but I love this little community that
Speaker 2: we're creating and we're really going to put more energy
Speaker 2: and more effort into really honing that Instagram page instead
Speaker 2: of creating a little hub where you guys can talk
Speaker 2: about your relationship issues, talk about whatever issues are happening.
Speaker 2: And that's going to be our focus for next season
Speaker 2: as well. So get on board at Life Uncut Podcast.
Speaker 2: So now we are going to be taking a couple
Speaker 2: of weeks off, I know, devastating, but not for us
Speaker 2: because we are going on holiday.
Speaker 1: Holly, Yayritt. Where are you going. I'm going to Perth
Speaker 1: first for a few days. It's my girlfriend renees Hen's party.
Speaker 1: Going to be wild. I love Perth. I've never been.
Speaker 1: Oh it's beautiful. Go to Rotnest Island. It's great. Well
Speaker 1: I think I'm just going to the bars.
Speaker 2: But okay, I haven't seen all the bars in Perth,
Speaker 2: but I'm sure they're great.
Speaker 1: I was there for UNI Games.
Speaker 2: I have a really funny story for you can now
Speaker 2: you can tell it, Okay, I'm going to tell it
Speaker 2: so at Unigames.
Speaker 1: This is going back quite a few years ago. I'm
Speaker 1: very old now.
Speaker 2: I was in Perth and this guy who I was
Speaker 2: seeing I was playing water polo, and he was from
Speaker 2: the water polo team. I was from the girl's water
Speaker 2: polo team. Anyway, he's snuck into my I love.
Speaker 1: The things you specify. I'm glad you told us you
Speaker 1: were on the girls team. Well you never know, Brittany.
Speaker 1: We live in a very fluid day and age.
Speaker 2: So he snuck into my hotel room where I was staying,
Speaker 2: and he stole all the underwear out of my suitcase. Anyway,
Speaker 2: this afternoon, they called a meeting. I didn't know he'd
Speaker 2: stolen my underwear. Obviously, they called a meeting.
Speaker 1: Red flag. Yeah, well, look it didn't work out with him. Weird.
Speaker 2: They called a meeting and all the guys came out
Speaker 2: and they were all wearing underwear, like they came out
Speaker 2: from the bedroom in this meeting, and they were all
Speaker 2: wearing undies and everyone's pissing themselves. I was pissing myself,
Speaker 2: and then I was like, wait a fucking second.
Speaker 1: That's my underwear.
Speaker 2: All the dudes in the water polo team were wearing
Speaker 2: my knickers. So anyway, I was mortified.
Speaker 1: It was gross.
Speaker 2: I threw all my nickers out and had to go
Speaker 2: buy new knickers. And this guy thought he was so funny.
Speaker 2: So anyway, that night we went out on the town
Speaker 2: and it was we had this this rule where it
Speaker 2: was like anything that you got dad to do, you
Speaker 2: had to do. So I dared him and another guy
Speaker 2: who was also implicated in my Nickers stealing episode saga.
Speaker 2: I dared them to get nude and run around the
Speaker 2: fountain in the middle of Perth. And they were like,
Speaker 2: oh yeah, we're fucking anyway, they got nude, please ta
Speaker 2: they got arrested. No, wait, they got nude. They ran
Speaker 2: around the fountain in Perth. And whilst they were running
Speaker 2: around the fountain, I got all their clothes, got in
Speaker 2: a taxi and went to the bar. Yes he did,
Speaker 2: and we were a thirty five minute walk back to
Speaker 2: our hostel.
Speaker 1: So the poor bastards couldn't get picked up in a.
Speaker 2: Taxi and I had to walk nude all the way
Speaker 2: through Perth back to the hotel we was staying out.
Speaker 2: You're like, borderline, you were a bit extreme when you're revenge.
Speaker 1: He broke up with me after all? Did he?
Speaker 2: Oh my god, that is so weird, Laura, Why would
Speaker 2: he do that.
Speaker 1: I think that he should have taken a joke.
Speaker 2: I still think that that was one of the best
Speaker 2: things I've ever pulled on a guy. I mean, it's funny,
Speaker 2: but it's extreme for sure, Like you took it to
Speaker 2: a ten real quick. Yeah, anyway, I like to really
Speaker 2: step one up and not just don't cross me, guys,
Speaker 2: because you know what's coming.
Speaker 1: You're gonna be nude in the middle of the city. Anyway,
Speaker 1: that took a real turn. We were wrapping up and
Speaker 1: then I had a story to throw up. So Laura,
Speaker 1: you know, we never end an episode without our suck
Speaker 1: and sweet, so I want to hear yours.
Speaker 2: I actually have suck and sweets this week, Like I
Speaker 2: thought about this great. Okay, so my suck, my suck
Speaker 2: sucked so bad. Guys, have you listened to the last
Speaker 2: episode on Friends, because if you haven't, please go and
Speaker 2: listen to it because that is my sweat, blood, and
Speaker 2: actual years in that episode. I had spent five hours
Speaker 2: editing that ep because we were all over the shop
Speaker 2: when we were recording it. We were I spent five
Speaker 2: hours editing it, and then as I was exporting it,
Speaker 2: my computer decided to have a crap fit and it
Speaker 2: like the file corrupted, and then what it did was
Speaker 2: it saved a blank file over my edited file, and
Speaker 2: I felt like I was at UNI again when something
Speaker 2: would crash and you would lose your assessment just before
Speaker 2: you needed to hand it in, and it freaking sucked.
Speaker 1: That was my suck.
Speaker 2: So then I had to stay up all Tuesday night
Speaker 2: with a boob with a boob with a baby on
Speaker 2: my boob, trying to re edit that episode to get
Speaker 2: it out for you on Wednesday. And this is the
Speaker 2: shit that we do to bring you your podcast every
Speaker 2: single week.
Speaker 1: Laura honestly has been putting in so much body sweat
Speaker 1: and tears into this editing.
Speaker 2: So I shout out thank you. It's much time that
Speaker 2: you appreciate me around here.
Speaker 1: For I messaged you on the idea all the time.
Speaker 2: I know, but it's I want public appreciation of my efforts.
Speaker 2: I think I did as well. I think you put
Speaker 2: it on Instagram too, so I actually.
Speaker 1: Have you back there. So, guys, that was my suck.
Speaker 1: It was so shitty.
Speaker 2: I hate it when you've put so much effort into
Speaker 2: something and then just it's like, I'm what, computer, don't
Speaker 2: fail me.
Speaker 1: That is what happened. I'm super sorry that I happened.
Speaker 1: That was my suck. It's a bloody good one. Thank you,
Speaker 1: did you have? Thank you very much.
Speaker 2: Yes, my suite, I have a lot of sweets from
Speaker 2: this week, so I have a couple that I'm going
Speaker 2: to throw in there, but mostly they there like revolve
Speaker 2: around the fact that I just spent five days on
Speaker 2: Maggie Island with my dad and my sister, even though
Speaker 2: it wasn't relaxing because of the babies. Maley has also
Speaker 2: started laughing, so I said, oh my god, it is
Speaker 2: the cutest thing I have ever seen in my entire life.
Speaker 2: Like my ovaries exploded into the car seats in front
Speaker 2: of me when she started doing it. So she's laughing
Speaker 2: at everything now. And I know I'm really funny, guys,
Speaker 2: but fuck, she thinks I'm so funny. God, And I
Speaker 2: just want to spend my time with her all day
Speaker 2: because it makes me feel so great about myself.
Speaker 1: I love my child. She's the best. You have to
Speaker 1: spend all day with her anyway. So that's true. That's true.
Speaker 1: It's a good thing that I want to now, it's
Speaker 1: a good thing. Someone thinks you're funny.
Speaker 3: Well, oh yeah, the guns all right, Brunan, give me
Speaker 3: your suck, my suck is probably your suck because my
Speaker 3: heart broke when you called me and said that you'd
Speaker 3: lost the file.
Speaker 1: You get your own sucked. Don't steal my I can't
Speaker 1: because I felt so shit, like the shittest human because
Speaker 1: you're supposed to be on this holiday and this happened
Speaker 1: to you and you had to and I couldn't do
Speaker 1: anything about it. So fine, sleep on you're dead, guys, Yeah,
Speaker 1: swt D.
Speaker 2: Sleep when they're s sleep.
Speaker 1: When they're dead. Swyd. No, I'm leaving that in. Stop
Speaker 1: trying to read. I'm just doing the re editor swyd guys,
Speaker 1: s wyd.
Speaker 2: That's all staying in there now. Okay, Brittany, what is
Speaker 2: your sweet? I don't really have a great sweet this week.
Speaker 2: I just worked a lot.
Speaker 1: But my sweet's probably turning up early this morning and
Speaker 1: looking at you, dressed exactly the same as I am.
Speaker 1: We've turned up in a uniform. I'm just wearing Team
Speaker 1: Life uncut uniform.
Speaker 2: You.
Speaker 1: We're spending too much time together. We're just morphing into
Speaker 1: the same person. That is frightening. Well, I mean you're
Speaker 1: a better version, but oh my goodness, shut up. Okay, start, no,
Speaker 1: don't stop, no, you hang up. No, you hang up. Okay,
Speaker 1: I'll hang up. Okay, don't hang out, don't hang out,
Speaker 1: don't hang up.
Speaker 2: I like that.
Speaker 1: Guys. That's a wrap for season one. Laura, congratulations, and
Speaker 1: thank you for coming on this journey with me. Oh
Speaker 1: it's been bloody. Swell doesn't know what it really has.
Speaker 2: Look, I don't know if we really knew what we
Speaker 2: were doing at the start, but now we do, and
Speaker 2: we also know how to use the recording equipment.
Speaker 1: Now, god what today? No, we have had such a
Speaker 1: great time. We didn't know what to expect when we
Speaker 1: went on this journey. We just knew we wanted to
Speaker 1: come and do it and have some fun and the
Speaker 1: response has been amazing. So we just want to thank
Speaker 1: all of you for sharing the love because we love love,
Speaker 1: and for writing in reviews and just following the journey
Speaker 1: with us, and thanks so much for sending in your
Speaker 1: questions every week. Guys. It's awesome.
Speaker 2: Like, we love that you try with our advice. We
Speaker 2: love that you want to be part of this Life
Speaker 2: on Clock.
Speaker 1: Community that we're building.
Speaker 2: And yeah, we are stoked for next season, which we're
Speaker 2: going on holidays. Oh yeah, brit you didn't end up
Speaker 2: finishing telling me where are you going on your holiday?
Speaker 1: Yeah? Okay, so after the hens in Perth, I'm going
Speaker 1: to Mexico for a few weeks. I'm going to eat
Speaker 1: all the tacos, drink all the margaritas, and do all
Speaker 1: the swimming and all the nothing that sounds like heaven.
Speaker 1: I know, where are you going? You're going to We.
Speaker 2: Are going on our first international holiday with a newborn baby,
Speaker 2: haha to.
Speaker 1: Everyone on our good bloody life, I know.
Speaker 2: So we're going to the UK for five days, then
Speaker 2: we're going to Paris and then we're.
Speaker 1: Going to Pullia or Puglia or you still never work
Speaker 1: that out.
Speaker 2: You probably are just maybe google that Pullia. We're going
Speaker 2: to Italy. I'm just really interested to see what a
Speaker 2: holiday with a newborn baby's going to be like, because
Speaker 2: my old holidays used to be lots of drinking, and
Speaker 2: now there's not much no, so I think it's gonna
Speaker 2: be a lot of sitting in the shade and making
Speaker 2: faces at Marley, which we could probably do anywhere, but
Speaker 2: that's gonna be.
Speaker 1: My holiday, but we're gonna do it in Italy.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm gonna do it. Actually, No, I am very
Speaker 2: much looking forward to Paris, which is where we're meeting
Speaker 2: Matt's mum, because I'm going to be like, hey, Nana,
Speaker 2: take my baby. I'll see you in a few days.
Speaker 2: Please learn how to breastfeed, then you can go do
Speaker 2: all the drinking.
Speaker 1: No we can't.
Speaker 2: I'm still breastfeeding. I can't drink literally, and I have
Speaker 2: one glass of wine now, so all your mummy shame
Speaker 2: is out there.
Speaker 1: Who're gonna be like, oh my god, you shouldn't have
Speaker 1: glass of wine because you're breastfeeding. Shut up. Let the
Speaker 1: woman drink. I have one lass wine and I feel drunk.
Speaker 1: So imagine how Marley feels.
Speaker 2: Guys, Oh my god, don't say that. She's joking everyone
Speaker 2: and just got a six sense of humor. Alright, guys,
Speaker 2: thank you so much for tuning into another episode. We
Speaker 2: love doing this for you and please please join us
Speaker 2: on our Instagram page at Life Uncut Podcast. Leave us
Speaker 2: a review, hit subscribe, and share the love because we
Speaker 2: we love love.
Speaker 1: See you soon. Foresees in tr