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Speaker 1: Hey, it's Weella. Morty Wards goes into the jungle and

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Speaker 1: I'm st get me out of here in Africa tomorrow.

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Speaker 1: He joins us from Africa right now. You'll be able

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Speaker 1: to see him on your TV's channel ten on Sunday night.

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Speaker 1: But we've got a very special guest in the studio

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Speaker 1: who's actually from Africa herself. Her name is Ursula Carlson.

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Speaker 1: She's got a brand new show called Just Know livenation

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Speaker 1: dot com, dot you if you want to see is

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Speaker 1: live in one of the great live shows. Welcome to

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Speaker 1: the studio.

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Speaker 2: Thank you so much for having me. It's lovely, it's.

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Speaker 3: Great just to pull the curtain down a little bit.

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Speaker 3: Just in the song there, Ursula, we were saying to

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Speaker 3: you that I am going to be on I'm a Celebrity,

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Speaker 3: Get Me out of Here Sunday Night, as Weill said,

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Speaker 3: and you said that you'd rather shoot yourself in the

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Speaker 3: face than go on that show.

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Speaker 2: Yes, I don't think you were going to say that,

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Speaker 2: you know. I'd also said Julia is one of my closest,

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Speaker 2: dearest friends, and now you just said that I would

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Speaker 2: rather shoot myself in the face than go on her

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Speaker 2: TV show. But to be fair seated as numerous times

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Speaker 2: at her house after a few wins too.

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Speaker 1: But she's trying to convince you.

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Speaker 2: She's trying to convince you. Even the producers have said,

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Speaker 2: would you ever go on that show? I said, yes,

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Speaker 2: I will if that means I stay at home and

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Speaker 2: I eat fried chicken and drink coffee. And they just

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Speaker 2: can't figure out a way to make that work. But

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Speaker 2: if we're could, if we could.

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Speaker 1: Crosses over there, that would be Apparently when Shane warn

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Speaker 1: was on there, he just did whatever he wanted. His

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Speaker 1: his list was like, right, I get to smoke whenever

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Speaker 1: I want.

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Speaker 2: I basically get to eat whateverwich.

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Speaker 1: Right.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, So maybe maybe there's a world where if it

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Speaker 2: involved me not hanging out with other people and sleeping

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Speaker 2: in a proper beer because you get to a age

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Speaker 2: where you go, I'm not I'm not sleeping on a feuton.

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Speaker 2: I'm not sleeping on the camping the cot I'm not sleeping.

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Speaker 2: I struggle in the Queen, you know, when you turn,

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Speaker 2: you're like, why is there some man nouse in here?

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Speaker 4: You know?

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Speaker 2: And I just want to stick like I want every space,

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Speaker 2: And then there's a lot of turning. You don't turn

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Speaker 2: on a camping cot. You just don't camping on you.

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Speaker 2: I'm not doing any of that. That sounds like a

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Speaker 2: god damn you.

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Speaker 1: You're a shocking person to sleep. What's your partner's now,

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Speaker 1: calm down, what's your what's your partner?

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Speaker 2: It's just weird. I'm going through I'm going to a

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Speaker 2: brutal divorce at the moment, and you are trying to

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Speaker 2: crack in while.

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Speaker 1: The doors is uncore.

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Speaker 2: I'm a generously I'm glad we're here. I am is that?

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Speaker 1: Is that?

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Speaker 2: Am I reading the room? Right? Am I reading?

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Speaker 1: That's?

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Speaker 2: No? I'm a generous lover text my numbers seven. I'm

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Speaker 2: not on this.

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Speaker 1: But are you a shocking person to be in a

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Speaker 1: bed with?

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Speaker 2: It's like like love.

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Speaker 1: Making to one side. You're you're because I imagine giving

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Speaker 1: what you're saying, you are doing a holder.

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Speaker 2: I'm not. I'm a time in sleep and I go

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Speaker 2: to sleep in like two seconds, and so I'll lie

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Speaker 2: on my side like wee can spoon. Okay, I'm going

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Speaker 2: to be.

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Speaker 1: Us.

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Speaker 2: I'm looking straightly on We're not looking hard. I know

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Speaker 2: this audio medium, but I want people at playing the

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Speaker 2: home game to know that we're looking deeply in each

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Speaker 2: other's eyes. When I can wear some backgrounds, get something

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Speaker 2: romantic on for us. Right now.

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Speaker 4: Is getting hot in Africa right now, I will I'm going,

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Speaker 4: I'm on big spoon between you and oil.

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Speaker 2: Obviously be the big spoon because you know on the

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Speaker 2: power top, so a big spoon you. And then you

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Speaker 2: get maybe two minutes and then I go, I need

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Speaker 2: to sleep. Then I turn around and I sleep on

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Speaker 2: my stomach, so I adjust my boob so they like

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Speaker 2: right on the mattress. And then I'm all. As soon

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Speaker 2: as the last Nivolism play somehow.

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Speaker 1: We can come more with Carneck if you want to

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Speaker 1: go and see it, actually you need to do all off.

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Speaker 2: Take it to a show. Just no available.

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Speaker 1: Acarlson dot com, Live Nation dot com. That are you.

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Speaker 1: I feel like it's something weird. I feel like I

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Speaker 1: just slept with you.

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Speaker 2: I know, I know you're going to do the will.

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Speaker 1: Hope you had a wonderful drive home. If you're home,

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Speaker 1: you might still be on the road. Russell Crowe just

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Speaker 1: joined us. Woods is live from Africa. He's going into

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Speaker 1: the Army. Slept, get me out of here jungle this

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Speaker 1: weekend in Africa, and we have a token African in

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Speaker 1: the room right now, Ina Carlson, thank you, thank.

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Speaker 2: You, cuckle plug of my special on YouTube.

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Speaker 1: That's right. So that's the show that you've just finished.

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Speaker 1: I got a brand new show it's called Just No

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Speaker 1: which people can see the Morlman Comedy Festival. We're doing Sydney, Perth,

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Speaker 1: camera all over Australia, Live Nation dot com if you

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Speaker 1: want to see her. She does sell out as well.

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Speaker 1: By the way, guys, so get involved quick now. As

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Speaker 1: I said Token Africa, that was that was your last show.

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Speaker 1: That's and you are from Africa, so you know where

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Speaker 1: wood he is right now, I do which and he

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Speaker 1: doesn't know which is hysterical no, but that's me.

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Speaker 2: I know where you are just by your They can

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Speaker 2: they can blindfold you as much as they like, but

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Speaker 2: you know how many flights you took and you know that.

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Speaker 2: You know they can only circle so much. You're in

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Speaker 2: the jungle. They can't go over trees. So I grew

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Speaker 2: up on a farm right next to where you are.

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Speaker 2: And my cousin said, there was some foreign wankers who

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Speaker 2: just arrived.

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Speaker 1: Where you are. Dickad with ady and a ponytail in

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Speaker 1: active wear with a bag on.

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Speaker 2: His head wearing a khaki T shirt like he works

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Speaker 2: here for the parks department. You sell foreign people, they

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Speaker 2: wear khaki. It's like, dude, you don't work here. All

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Speaker 2: the foreign people always wear khaki. You can tell the

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Speaker 2: local schools wedges and jeans and T shirt and then

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Speaker 2: you see all these Americans and foreign people in full Yeah,

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Speaker 2: you're like you work in there parks departments full. They

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Speaker 2: don't need you.

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Speaker 3: I packed some khakis, embarrassingly, I packed some khaki that

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Speaker 3: not everyone weariness did.

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Speaker 1: Go there?

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Speaker 4: You go?

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Speaker 2: Now?

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Speaker 3: I wanted to ask you as like, what should I

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Speaker 3: be worried about?

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Speaker 2: Time?

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Speaker 3: About going to this jungle? You know the area very

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Speaker 3: very well. Is there anything I should be concerned about?

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Speaker 2: Yeah? So, I mean, yeah, there's snakes, there's scorpions, there's

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Speaker 2: you know, and especially in that area, there's a sea

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Speaker 2: through scorpion. It's sort of it's sort of a whitish.

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Speaker 2: I know, you can't see it like it is EPI. Yeah, wow,

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Speaker 2: so we got quite a few of those. But I

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Speaker 2: mean those are deadly. You'll be dead within seconds. You

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Speaker 2: won't even know. The thing you should should be worried

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Speaker 2: about is when you get out the jungle. Don't pick

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Speaker 2: a rich dish for your final because South Africans eat

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Speaker 2: a lot of rich food anyway. And even if you say,

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Speaker 2: like you know, I just want, you know, say sort

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Speaker 2: of roast, immediately gonna get half a koodoo and they're

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Speaker 2: just gonna slop it on your on your plate. So

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Speaker 2: it's like a buck like a deer. Right, yeah, so

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Speaker 2: you don't want so you're gonna be faced with, say

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Speaker 2: thirty five kilograms of meat and everything is really rich.

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Speaker 2: So you know, and especially if you've only been eating

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Speaker 2: baboon aus and rice up until that point. I don't

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Speaker 2: know exactly what's on the menu there, but you know,

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Speaker 2: have you only been eating that? And then you come

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Speaker 2: out and you have this extremely rich meal. So never

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Speaker 2: mind all the critters and stuff, they can kill you.

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Speaker 2: Careful the food. It's rich. Yeah, it's kind of blow out.

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Speaker 1: Have you have you eaten like obviously in your time

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Speaker 1: in Africa? Obviously they go in there and make them

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Speaker 1: do this horrific eating challenges. Is that that's not part

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Speaker 1: of like living there?

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Speaker 2: Right? No McDonald's and ship why people want to go

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Speaker 2: and then eat like raccoon butthole and stuff.

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Speaker 1: So we've gone from all from to raccoon butthole the

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Speaker 1: full smagans, board of sphincters all across the animal, you know.

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Speaker 2: The eating bugget buggins.

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Speaker 4: That's the.

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Speaker 2: Alls are going. These foreign people are discussing.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, fair enough. So so as you were obviously never

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Speaker 1: you weren't there when the IMO celeb stuff had kicked off,

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Speaker 1: So this is obviously something that's pretty new. But you

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Speaker 1: know the landscape that what he's going into right now,

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Speaker 1: and in fact, like when we're just off the mic before,

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Speaker 1: you guys you'd grown up in around the area that

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Speaker 1: would he was just describing them, which it is stunning though,

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Speaker 1: quite amazing that you guys have been in exactly the

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Speaker 1: same place.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, it's majestic though, but you've never actually been in

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Speaker 3: the sleeping on a futon as you were saying before

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Speaker 3: the song there because Puton's and you.

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Speaker 2: Don't really no, no, no, I I was, you know,

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Speaker 2: like when I was little and young and in my

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Speaker 2: like up until say in my mid twenties, I would

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Speaker 2: still go camping. I would still go bush. But now

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Speaker 2: that I'm like I'm forty seven, once you I think,

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Speaker 2: once you go over that cusper, forty five. Then your

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Speaker 2: helps your back and your wallpower just go. Yeah you

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Speaker 2: want to look after your Yeah you can't. What's not

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Speaker 2: that you want to look after yourself? You literally can't

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Speaker 2: get up from a futon. I just get onto a

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Speaker 2: feud on and I would have to be there till

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Speaker 2: the coroner comes to get me. Because this is not

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Speaker 2: why I'll just go leave me. It'll be like one

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Speaker 2: of those movies. We go guys, go ahead.

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Speaker 1: You say yourself.

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Speaker 2: We can just help you up. No, I don't want

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Speaker 2: to be up anymore. My heps don't want to do it.

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Speaker 1: So live she's so good. She's great. If you want

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Speaker 1: to say, is just no digs for a brand new

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Speaker 1: show Live Nation dot com dot au get around it.

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Speaker 1: As said, she will sell out. She's touring all over

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Speaker 1: the country. So lucky to everybody in Australia. They get

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Speaker 1: to see you. Lots of flying for you, which means

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Speaker 1: lots of spare pair of jocks. I saw on your

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Speaker 1: social media. You pack it. She packed a small pair

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Speaker 1: of jocks every time she.

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Speaker 2: The beasts, you know, fresh en up and then then

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Speaker 2: I can quickly go and when I land, I'm just

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Speaker 2: fresh as a daisy.

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Speaker 1: What do you do with the dirty.

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Speaker 2: Beer, Ben what you wanted me send you some around