WEBVTT - Girl Language & National Breakup day 0:00:00.160 --> 0:00:03.800 Life Uncut acknowledges the traditional custodians of country whose lands 0:00:03.840 --> 0:00:06.520 were never seated. We pay our respects to their elders 0:00:06.559 --> 0:00:07.600 past and present. 0:00:07.560 --> 0:00:11.399 Always was, always will be Aboriginal Land. This episode was 0:00:11.440 --> 0:00:24.239 recorded on de Rug Wallamuta Land. Hi eyes, and welcome 0:00:24.239 --> 0:00:25.919 back to another episode of Life Uncut. 0:00:26.400 --> 0:00:26.960 I'm Laura. 0:00:27.120 --> 0:00:29.400 It's almost like you forgot what to say then, I'm Laura. 0:00:29.560 --> 0:00:33.080 I'm Britney. I have been living in hell for the 0:00:33.120 --> 0:00:36.080 last three days. Wow, we just jump and right, I'm 0:00:36.080 --> 0:00:38.920 in hell. That's where my life is now. It's literally 0:00:38.960 --> 0:00:45.720 about to be Christmas holidays. Hohe fucking hell. Hell no. 0:00:46.560 --> 0:00:50.040 I we decided, we made it the big decision to 0:00:50.080 --> 0:00:51.360 wean Lola off dummies. 0:00:51.520 --> 0:00:53.000 Oh my god, I thought you're gonna say I'm another 0:00:53.040 --> 0:00:53.680 kid or something. 0:00:53.800 --> 0:00:56.120 Oh god, I can't know. This has been the weekend 0:00:56.160 --> 0:00:58.400 that's traumatized me from ever wanting to have any more children. 0:00:58.440 --> 0:01:00.279 Oh, this is the weekend where you like, if there 0:01:00.280 --> 0:01:02.800 was any inkling of maybe we could do this again, 0:01:02.880 --> 0:01:03.600 it's been taken away. 0:01:03.680 --> 0:01:06.759 It's been ripped from the rubs. The rub you have rubbed, 0:01:06.800 --> 0:01:09.000 he will will not be rubbing. The rug has been. 0:01:08.959 --> 0:01:09.800 Ripped from underneath you. 0:01:09.959 --> 0:01:12.200 So I mentioned this a couple of weeks ago. Lola, 0:01:12.360 --> 0:01:15.600 she's almost three, and she's still on the dummy, like 0:01:15.680 --> 0:01:19.880 obsessed with the dummy. Also still has a warm bottle 0:01:19.880 --> 0:01:22.720 of water at nighttime, which she calls my baby bottle. 0:01:23.040 --> 0:01:26.320 And she's three in February. 0:01:26.440 --> 0:01:30.080 So we say that thirty six months, No, thirty four months. 0:01:30.080 --> 0:01:32.440 We only talk in months, remembering to our kids, like seven. 0:01:32.240 --> 0:01:35.640 I don't do I did stand in maths at school 0:01:35.640 --> 0:01:37.319 and then I dropped out, So I mean, it's not 0:01:37.360 --> 0:01:40.480 my foretastes. Okay, she's almost three. The dummy has been 0:01:40.560 --> 0:01:42.880 well expired. I think they say that you should wan 0:01:42.920 --> 0:01:44.760 them off within the first year, and then by the 0:01:44.800 --> 0:01:46.640 time they're three, it really fucks their teeth up. But 0:01:46.680 --> 0:01:49.000 you know what, it's a coping mechanism for her and 0:01:49.040 --> 0:01:50.800 for me, and it's gotten me through some hard time. 0:01:50.960 --> 0:01:52.320 She's not gonna have any teeth, but she'll be a 0:01:52.360 --> 0:01:54.440 good kid now she'll have teeth, they'll just be really 0:01:54.680 --> 0:01:57.960 splayed out, like kind of thing, like a little duck beak. 0:01:58.000 --> 0:02:00.440 That's like ham. That's not fair. No, I know I 0:02:00.440 --> 0:02:02.760 did that to her anyway. I spoke about it on 0:02:02.880 --> 0:02:05.720 here and then shortly afterwards, I had a whole lot 0:02:05.760 --> 0:02:08.360 of guilt around the fact that I'm the one who's 0:02:08.360 --> 0:02:10.560 allowing her to have a dummy because it makes my 0:02:10.680 --> 0:02:14.280 life easier, also her life, arguably, but it's good for me. 0:02:14.400 --> 0:02:16.600 You know, she sleeps through the night. The dummies for you, 0:02:16.639 --> 0:02:19.239 not her. Anytime she's crying, shove that thing in. It's 0:02:19.320 --> 0:02:22.440 more a copy mechanism for me. Yeah. And so on 0:02:22.520 --> 0:02:26.519 Friday night this has in like just passed, something washed 0:02:26.560 --> 0:02:29.640 over me, and I decided, tonight's to night. We're gonna 0:02:29.680 --> 0:02:31.359 do it. We're gonna go cold turkey, We're gonna a 0:02:31.360 --> 0:02:34.360 whole hog. Where does that come from? Do you know what? 0:02:34.440 --> 0:02:36.399 I know exactly where it came from. It came from 0:02:36.520 --> 0:02:38.160 Lola was having a tantrum in the bath and then 0:02:38.200 --> 0:02:39.720 she hit me in the face and said I want 0:02:39.720 --> 0:02:42.960 my dummy, And I was like, cool, I think maybe 0:02:43.000 --> 0:02:45.519 no dummy. Now, Okay, you're looking at it really shocked. 0:02:46.120 --> 0:02:48.720 Do kids hit their parents in their face? Yeah, all 0:02:48.760 --> 0:02:53.919 the time. Kid's a brutal man. What little shit. Yeah, 0:02:53.960 --> 0:02:56.399 Laula kicked me last night. I mean, like, she's a kid, 0:02:56.480 --> 0:02:57.920 So I don't take it to heart to kick a back. 0:02:58.040 --> 0:03:03.079 She's like, a man, does you have I feel no, 0:03:03.120 --> 0:03:05.520 because that's legal. Yeah, So okay, I took the dummies 0:03:05.520 --> 0:03:07.720 off far I was gonna do. I've tried the whole 0:03:07.760 --> 0:03:10.080 dummy fairy before. I've tried the like buried in the 0:03:10.120 --> 0:03:12.240 garden and then lollipops grew out of it, like I've 0:03:12.280 --> 0:03:15.160 tried to wean her before, but the regalit fer is 0:03:15.160 --> 0:03:18.120 it out of the garden. No, Everyone's kind of like, oh, 0:03:18.200 --> 0:03:20.320 there's this like process. You can pretend like the dummy 0:03:20.360 --> 0:03:22.040 fairy came and took the dummies away, or you can 0:03:22.040 --> 0:03:24.000 put them in the garden and then lollipops grow out 0:03:24.000 --> 0:03:25.840 and then the kids are so excited because you know 0:03:25.840 --> 0:03:29.400 they've traded the dummy for something else. There is nothing 0:03:29.639 --> 0:03:32.880 on planet Earth that my child wants more than a dummy, 0:03:32.960 --> 0:03:35.680 So there's no bribery that's going to work in this situation. 0:03:35.840 --> 0:03:39.320 So you actually did yourself a disservice, like by holding 0:03:39.360 --> 0:03:41.720 onto it longer, it's been a bit easier for you. 0:03:41.800 --> 0:03:45.240 But now she's old enough to completely comprehend that something's 0:03:45.280 --> 0:03:47.560 better with it. Oh she misses it now because she's 0:03:47.600 --> 0:03:51.440 too old totally. So Friday Night she screamed bloody murder 0:03:52.160 --> 0:03:55.760 for one and a half hour intervals, four separate intervals, 0:03:55.960 --> 0:03:58.640 so she didn't sleep. Basically, that math is six hours, 0:03:58.720 --> 0:04:01.560 six hours of screaming scream. And I'd go in there 0:04:01.560 --> 0:04:05.280 every set of five minutes, ten minutes like pat, pat pat, cuddle, scream, cuddle, scream, 0:04:05.280 --> 0:04:07.800 cuttle scream. And what did you say? I said, I'm 0:04:07.800 --> 0:04:09.960 so sorry, honey, no more dummies. Were a big girl. 0:04:09.960 --> 0:04:14.640 We're a big girl now, she said, over and over. 0:04:14.800 --> 0:04:17.800 So that happened on Friday night, Saturday night. Surprisingly, it 0:04:17.880 --> 0:04:19.960 was a lot better. I did bribe her with toys 0:04:19.960 --> 0:04:22.640 on Saturday and things were a little bit better. And 0:04:22.680 --> 0:04:27.120 then Sunday night it's been manageable, but not great. 0:04:27.400 --> 0:04:30.080 So you were you didn't go down the track of anything. 0:04:30.160 --> 0:04:31.680 You just said it's time, you're a big girl. 0:04:31.720 --> 0:04:34.039 You didn't. There was no fairy, there was no buster 0:04:34.279 --> 0:04:38.520 ate it, there was no I'll make a trade. Nah 0:04:38.680 --> 0:04:40.760 just went cold turkey. Does that make me a bad mum? 0:04:40.839 --> 0:04:43.600 It's been pretty brutal. No, I actually don't think it 0:04:43.640 --> 0:04:46.080 makes you a bad mum. I think it's like kids 0:04:46.160 --> 0:04:50.520 have to learn, says Britt. Britt, the girl who just asked, 0:04:50.520 --> 0:04:51.720 did you kick it back? 0:04:51.880 --> 0:04:53.760 Yeah, well, obviously that was a joke. I do not 0:04:53.839 --> 0:04:54.560 support abuse. 0:04:55.120 --> 0:04:57.280 Yeah, it was a very much jokes, guys. I don't know. 0:04:57.360 --> 0:04:58.600 I didn't feel like we're at the point where I 0:04:58.640 --> 0:05:00.760 needed to make that joke and say that was joke. 0:05:03.200 --> 0:05:05.400 In case you knew a life on cut. I guess 0:05:05.440 --> 0:05:07.479 I was just surprised. I do think it's good for you. 0:05:07.520 --> 0:05:09.640 I'm not a parent, obviously no, but I think it's 0:05:09.640 --> 0:05:12.560 really good sometimes to not make up these things for kids. 0:05:12.600 --> 0:05:14.480 Not to be like, oh my god, like something took 0:05:14.520 --> 0:05:16.200 it away, but to be like, hey, you know what, 0:05:16.240 --> 0:05:17.040 this is what happens. 0:05:17.080 --> 0:05:18.400 You go through a point in life where you grow 0:05:18.480 --> 0:05:20.240 up and you don't need it anymore. Yeah, it's resilient 0:05:20.240 --> 0:05:22.680 because that life. Man, people take shit from you and 0:05:22.720 --> 0:05:25.200 you don't get it back, and there's no reason earth 0:05:25.240 --> 0:05:27.800 it's not fair, and that is life. This is gonna 0:05:27.800 --> 0:05:29.720 be one of those moments in life that actually makes 0:05:29.760 --> 0:05:31.599 her a better human because imagine if she was twenty 0:05:31.640 --> 0:05:33.920 five years old and still suck in a dummy. Oh, Laura, 0:05:33.960 --> 0:05:36.120 that you would go down for abuse if your kids 0:05:36.120 --> 0:05:36.880 still had a dummy. 0:05:36.960 --> 0:05:39.560 But you know there are kids there are kids. Is 0:05:39.560 --> 0:05:41.000 still breastfeed at like ten years old? 0:05:41.120 --> 0:05:43.560 You know that. I don't think ten. But I'll tell 0:05:43.560 --> 0:05:46.160 you something. There was that groom that was bread feeding 0:05:46.200 --> 0:05:47.880 at his wedding. No, do you know what. I think 0:05:47.880 --> 0:05:49.720 that was an urban legend. I know we spoke about 0:05:49.720 --> 0:05:51.800 it on radio, but I don't. I cannot believe. 0:05:52.040 --> 0:05:53.880 I'm pretty sure it was in Dolly magazine sealed section. 0:05:53.920 --> 0:05:55.520 I think it was real. I can't believe that that 0:05:55.600 --> 0:05:57.560 was true. But I will tell you guys something. No 0:05:57.680 --> 0:06:00.120 shame to anyone who breastfeeds for a really long time 0:06:00.160 --> 0:06:01.159 because I was three and a half. 0:06:01.200 --> 0:06:04.800 No shame if you're breastfeeding your son and his wedding, shame. 0:06:05.120 --> 0:06:11.920 Okay, I'm calling bullshit. Shame on you. If your child 0:06:11.960 --> 0:06:14.160 is forty five and you're still breastfeeding and he can 0:06:14.200 --> 0:06:16.920 say bitty, I would say that that's probably a problem. No. 0:06:17.000 --> 0:06:18.960 I was breastfed until I was three and a half. 0:06:19.279 --> 0:06:22.880 Three and a half. That's really old. That's like almost Mali, 0:06:23.000 --> 0:06:24.760 like Marley's four and a half, but like three and 0:06:24.760 --> 0:06:26.960 a half is a fully functioning little human that can 0:06:27.040 --> 0:06:30.280 like anyway, Apparently, we were on a bus and I 0:06:30.320 --> 0:06:32.480 was trying to rip my mum's shirt open and I 0:06:32.560 --> 0:06:35.480 was like, give me your boob, and that was when 0:06:35.520 --> 0:06:38.200 she realized that maybe she should stop breastfeeding me. No, 0:06:38.400 --> 0:06:40.640 I do you know what, I actually think three is 0:06:40.680 --> 0:06:41.680 not that uncommon. 0:06:41.760 --> 0:06:42.720 And I genuinely mean that. 0:06:42.800 --> 0:06:44.719 I have a lot of friends that have breastfed till 0:06:44.880 --> 0:06:47.120 two and a half three. It depends on what culture. 0:06:47.200 --> 0:06:49.680 I think it's just Australian No, But in Australia it 0:06:49.880 --> 0:06:52.960 is not unusual. I mean again, in Australia, it's unusual. 0:06:52.960 --> 0:06:55.520 Most people don't breastfeed for that long most people. And 0:06:55.880 --> 0:06:58.840 I think that if you are breastfeeding your kids at 0:06:58.839 --> 0:07:01.200 that age, you're definitely not doing it in public. You're 0:07:01.240 --> 0:07:02.880 doing it as like a wine down time at night 0:07:02.920 --> 0:07:05.120 time or something. You know, it's usually something that you 0:07:05.279 --> 0:07:08.400 kind of maybe you stop sharing it with people because 0:07:08.400 --> 0:07:11.960 people start to be a little bit like pooh pooh, Okay, 0:07:12.400 --> 0:07:14.440 I'll remember that if that day ever comes to me. 0:07:14.800 --> 0:07:16.360 I feel like I'm gonna be that person of breastfeeds 0:07:16.400 --> 0:07:17.280 for five minutes and I'm. 0:07:17.200 --> 0:07:18.360 Like, oh, I'm scat off my tit. 0:07:18.560 --> 0:07:20.520 That was me. I got to four months and I 0:07:20.520 --> 0:07:22.480 was like, I'm really I don't know. Some people love 0:07:22.520 --> 0:07:24.160 it and it's sacred and it's beautiful and it's such 0:07:24.160 --> 0:07:24.880 a bonding moment. 0:07:25.160 --> 0:07:27.040 I'd be more doing it to get my own metabolism back. 0:07:28.880 --> 0:07:31.559 Jake, Ohkah. I made it to four months, and I, 0:07:31.800 --> 0:07:33.520 like I said, I know that some people find it's 0:07:33.520 --> 0:07:36.080 like a real connection and bonding moment, and we are 0:07:36.120 --> 0:07:38.160 all led to believe that it's going to be this 0:07:38.240 --> 0:07:41.280 incredible motherly thing that you're gonna want to do. I 0:07:41.360 --> 0:07:43.600 just didn't like it. I did not enjoy it, and 0:07:43.640 --> 0:07:46.760 I know that it's very necessary, so take that back. 0:07:47.120 --> 0:07:50.119 I take it back because we are so shamed into 0:07:50.160 --> 0:07:53.120 thinking that that's the only way of providing for your children, 0:07:53.160 --> 0:07:55.120 and that if the reason why you stop breastfeeding is 0:07:55.120 --> 0:07:57.680 because you don't enjoy it, then you're somehow a worse mother. 0:07:58.120 --> 0:07:59.960 I got to four and a half months or maybe 0:08:00.120 --> 0:08:02.440 five months with Mali and four months with Lola, and 0:08:02.720 --> 0:08:05.280 you know what, My kids were bottle fed on formula 0:08:05.320 --> 0:08:07.720 and they are fine. One of them is still on 0:08:07.760 --> 0:08:11.400 a dummy, but they're fine with a left, right, and center. 0:08:12.520 --> 0:08:13.960 I just laughed so hard. I don't know if you 0:08:14.000 --> 0:08:14.640 saw that happen. 0:08:14.720 --> 0:08:17.640 I just laughed so hard that my hand flung past 0:08:17.760 --> 0:08:20.120 my own mouth into a tooth and I cut my. 0:08:20.000 --> 0:08:23.040 Finger open, speaking of snaggle teeth. 0:08:23.200 --> 0:08:25.040 I don't remember how it happened. I prop a blood 0:08:25.040 --> 0:08:26.880 on my face. My finger is cut open and bleeding 0:08:27.320 --> 0:08:28.440 from my own hysteria. 0:08:28.640 --> 0:08:30.160 Also, the one thing I do want to say is 0:08:30.160 --> 0:08:31.960 I went and got my nails done yesterday for like 0:08:32.200 --> 0:08:34.880 holiday nails, and I had this image in my head 0:08:34.880 --> 0:08:36.960 of what was gonna look like. And they're the ugliest 0:08:37.080 --> 0:08:40.000 nails I've ever gotten. There I have to do so 0:08:40.080 --> 0:08:41.800 I cannot go away with them. Can I show you? 0:08:41.960 --> 0:08:43.960 I'm glad you haven't noticed yet, show me. 0:08:49.120 --> 0:08:50.480 Do you know what it was? Chloe Fisher. 0:08:50.520 --> 0:08:52.000 I saw a picture from Chloe Fisher and she had 0:08:52.000 --> 0:08:54.920 these really cute nails. So I took a screenshot and I, 0:08:54.960 --> 0:08:56.520 you know how like you have an idea when you 0:08:56.640 --> 0:08:58.880 order something online of what something's gonna look like because 0:08:58.880 --> 0:09:00.280 it looks amazing on the model. 0:09:00.240 --> 0:09:02.520 Like what I ordered and what I received it's exactly that. 0:09:02.600 --> 0:09:04.440 And so I went into the place. Doesn't help with 0:09:04.440 --> 0:09:05.800 my fingers, but I went into the place and I 0:09:05.840 --> 0:09:08.640 was like, I like this vibe and they look nothing 0:09:08.760 --> 0:09:10.520 like it and they hit it. Can I say something, 0:09:10.559 --> 0:09:12.280 You're gonna take this as an offensive thing, And I 0:09:12.280 --> 0:09:14.360 don't mean it as offensive. If you're about to say 0:09:14.360 --> 0:09:17.240 something highly effects, you just have really bulbous nails. So 0:09:17.360 --> 0:09:19.200 this is not a good look for you. I do 0:09:19.440 --> 0:09:19.680 I have? 0:09:20.040 --> 0:09:21.880 Well this is And I even said to them, they're 0:09:21.920 --> 0:09:24.000 really thick, and I said, hey, I don't want thick ones. 0:09:24.080 --> 0:09:27.960 So what's the thinnest thing you've got, like in terms 0:09:28.000 --> 0:09:29.040 of like acrylics. 0:09:29.200 --> 0:09:29.680 It's in there. 0:09:29.800 --> 0:09:31.920 So because I don't know, I'm not that good at 0:09:31.960 --> 0:09:34.040 girly girly stuff, so I always ask them. I don't 0:09:34.080 --> 0:09:36.480 know what I ever want. They're fucking ugly, man. I 0:09:36.520 --> 0:09:38.120 need to go and fix them tomorrow. I have my 0:09:38.160 --> 0:09:40.960 mom's fingers, sorry, MoMA. Like, if I ever get engaged, 0:09:41.240 --> 0:09:44.240 I'm gonna have to photoshop someone's hand onto my wrist. 0:09:48.080 --> 0:09:50.040 If you guys don't know, brit is going over to Scotland, 0:09:50.080 --> 0:09:51.840 brit he's not engaged. She's not engaged. She's going over 0:09:51.880 --> 0:09:54.200 to Scotland to spend Christmas with Ben. So they're gonna 0:09:54.320 --> 0:09:56.160 I mean, you're away for like eight weeks now and 0:09:56.200 --> 0:10:00.280 then yeah, So if for some reason or if this 0:10:00.320 --> 0:10:04.280 is the time that Ben does propose to you, you 0:10:04.320 --> 0:10:08.280 can't have those ugly hoops. Ben is definitely not proposing 0:10:08.280 --> 0:10:12.600 this time, but irrelevant, I cannot have these fingers. 0:10:12.800 --> 0:10:17.199 What would you do if you did propose? Obviously say no, 0:10:17.880 --> 0:10:19.200 I mean it's too soon, Come. 0:10:19.840 --> 0:10:22.280 Bitch, please, I'd be all over that like. 0:10:22.240 --> 0:10:24.160 A rash, like one hundred percent. This is the love 0:10:24.200 --> 0:10:27.600 of my life mL hashtag love of my life. 0:10:27.640 --> 0:10:29.400 Yeah, oh my gosh, speaking to Ben, I don't think 0:10:29.400 --> 0:10:29.920 I said this. 0:10:30.400 --> 0:10:32.439 I don't think I said this at all. Correct me 0:10:32.440 --> 0:10:35.599 if I'm wrong. We recently had our one year anniversary. 0:10:36.000 --> 0:10:36.720 He was here for it. 0:10:36.760 --> 0:10:38.760 So it was when I was doing my egg freezing. 0:10:38.920 --> 0:10:41.280 Happened to fall in that three days, which I felt 0:10:41.320 --> 0:10:43.920 like was which was a sign from the gods right 0:10:43.960 --> 0:10:45.360 because he wasn't supposed to be able to come, but 0:10:45.400 --> 0:10:46.880 he made this really big effort to come for my 0:10:46.880 --> 0:10:49.120 egg freezing just for that three day period and it 0:10:49.160 --> 0:10:51.880 fell in that period our anniversary, So I was like, amazing, 0:10:52.040 --> 0:10:55.600 beautiful special on the day I had gone and bought him. 0:10:55.640 --> 0:10:58.200 Now I know this sounds extra, and it is extra, 0:10:58.480 --> 0:11:00.680 but it was our anniversary and I'm love and Ben 0:11:01.120 --> 0:11:01.840 likes fashion. 0:11:02.200 --> 0:11:04.560 I bought him a Prata bucket hat. 0:11:04.840 --> 0:11:07.640 It was expensive, but I knew he was gonna love it, 0:11:07.920 --> 0:11:08.800 and he does love it. 0:11:08.920 --> 0:11:10.719 I don't know a single person in this world who 0:11:10.720 --> 0:11:11.600 has a part of bucket hair. 0:11:11.679 --> 0:11:14.400 Yeah, Fisher, he loves DJ Fisher Okay, and Fisher only 0:11:14.400 --> 0:11:15.040 wears bucket hat. 0:11:15.160 --> 0:11:16.720 He just loved her. He just fucking loves it. And 0:11:16.760 --> 0:11:17.920 I was like, it's special, you know. 0:11:18.120 --> 0:11:21.400 So I wrote him this really long, beautiful letter where 0:11:21.400 --> 0:11:23.360 I poured my heart out and I put so many 0:11:23.360 --> 0:11:26.280 emotions into it, and then I read him a card 0:11:26.320 --> 0:11:26.560 as well. 0:11:26.559 --> 0:11:28.600 The letter was extra. Then I read him a beautiful card. 0:11:28.720 --> 0:11:30.400 Then I got him this hat and it was wrapped 0:11:30.440 --> 0:11:32.800 up in his beautiful hat box and it had ribbons 0:11:32.840 --> 0:11:36.520 and it was so amazing. So I was so excited 0:11:36.679 --> 0:11:38.800 to have this exchange with each other that it. 0:11:38.760 --> 0:11:39.760 Was the night before and I was like, do you 0:11:39.800 --> 0:11:40.600 just want your present now? 0:11:40.640 --> 0:11:42.240 Because I want you to use it over the weekend, 0:11:42.280 --> 0:11:44.920 over the couple of days that you hear And he's like, okay, sure, 0:11:45.360 --> 0:11:46.240 So I got in this present. 0:11:46.400 --> 0:11:48.640 You know, when you know you've nailed it. Yeah, So 0:11:48.920 --> 0:11:50.800 I'm a bad present giver, So no, I'm never that. 0:11:50.840 --> 0:11:53.040 I never had that feeling. I knew I nailed it, 0:11:53.080 --> 0:11:54.840 and I knew can't. I just fucking knew it. 0:11:54.880 --> 0:11:55.760 So I was pumped. 0:11:55.800 --> 0:11:58.839 Anyway, he loved it, and then I was like looking 0:11:58.880 --> 0:12:00.839 at him and I was like, do you want to 0:12:00.840 --> 0:12:01.559 give me mine now? 0:12:04.040 --> 0:12:07.560 He goes, oh, if you want it now? I was like, well, yeah, 0:12:07.600 --> 0:12:09.319 because that's what we're doing. I'm excited. 0:12:10.080 --> 0:12:13.880 So puts his hand in his bag and just pulls 0:12:13.920 --> 0:12:16.720 out a box of perfume and it's not wrapped, and 0:12:16.720 --> 0:12:18.720 he hands it to me and I was like, oh, 0:12:19.800 --> 0:12:22.320 thinking this must be the pre gift to the gift 0:12:22.600 --> 0:12:24.440 and I was like, should I do the card first? 0:12:24.880 --> 0:12:26.760 And he's like, oh, there is no card and I 0:12:26.800 --> 0:12:29.160 was like, oh, this is the Rouleta. He's like no. 0:12:29.520 --> 0:12:32.240 I was like, oh, okay, the guy just flew across 0:12:32.280 --> 0:12:34.160 the fucking world way the wait. 0:12:34.160 --> 0:12:36.760 So I opened the perfume. Beautiful, It's like a lovely 0:12:36.760 --> 0:12:37.480 perfume and I was. 0:12:37.400 --> 0:12:39.360 Like, but it wasn't wrapped her. It was just weird. 0:12:39.360 --> 0:12:40.840 It wasn't wrapped or anything. He just came straight. 0:12:40.840 --> 0:12:42.520 He just handed me the perfume and I was like, 0:12:42.559 --> 0:12:45.000 did you just get this last night at Judy Free 0:12:45.000 --> 0:12:47.400 in the airport and he's like, yeah, I did. And 0:12:47.440 --> 0:12:50.160 I was like, oh, okay, thank you. And I was 0:12:50.240 --> 0:12:52.960 so disappointed. And I thought that the present would come 0:12:52.960 --> 0:12:54.960 the next day and it didn't come, which is. 0:12:54.880 --> 0:12:57.200 Fine, right, Like it's fine, but I had put so 0:12:57.280 --> 0:13:00.200 much effort into it. Okay, it was not fine. I'd 0:13:00.200 --> 0:13:02.079 put so much effort into it. And then I said 0:13:02.120 --> 0:13:03.080 to him, I actually asked him. 0:13:03.120 --> 0:13:04.480 I said, so you just got there from g Freed, 0:13:04.559 --> 0:13:06.960 so you didn't actually remember it was the anniversary. He didn't 0:13:06.960 --> 0:13:08.440 put any thought into it. And he said, no, you 0:13:08.600 --> 0:13:11.439 told me, let's not get presents. We won't get each 0:13:11.480 --> 0:13:13.160 other presence, like we love each other. 0:13:13.240 --> 0:13:13.800 That's enough. 0:13:13.960 --> 0:13:16.480 I was like, Ben, if a woman says don't get 0:13:16.480 --> 0:13:19.360 me a present, she obviously means get me a present. 0:13:19.480 --> 0:13:22.719 Like no woman in the history of don't get me 0:13:22.760 --> 0:13:24.600 a present means don't get me a present. 0:13:25.160 --> 0:13:28.600 I am the exception to this. I am because it's 0:13:28.679 --> 0:13:30.640 like a path. No, it depends on if you Okay, 0:13:30.679 --> 0:13:32.440 if you're a love language person. I am not a 0:13:32.480 --> 0:13:34.920 gift person. I don't care for gifts. So Matt and 0:13:34.960 --> 0:13:37.120 I will often say, don't get each other a present, 0:13:37.400 --> 0:13:39.600 and then we actually don't get each other presence, and 0:13:39.640 --> 0:13:42.200 it's really relieving that one person didn't go against it, 0:13:42.240 --> 0:13:44.880 because if you've decided not to get presents and then 0:13:44.920 --> 0:13:47.400 one person still gets one, it makes you feel like 0:13:47.440 --> 0:13:48.000 the asshole. 0:13:48.160 --> 0:13:50.040 But you said no presence, Okay. 0:13:50.080 --> 0:13:52.040 Firstly, I said to him, I don't think I ever 0:13:52.080 --> 0:13:54.880 would have actually said that I did. I was like, 0:13:54.880 --> 0:13:56.800 I don't think that came out of my mouth. Maybe 0:13:56.840 --> 0:13:58.360 I said it for Christmas because we're not going to 0:13:58.360 --> 0:14:00.920 get each other Christmas presents because that is expensive, right, 0:14:00.960 --> 0:14:02.760 we are flying to each other whatever. 0:14:02.960 --> 0:14:04.360 But an anniversary present. 0:14:04.360 --> 0:14:06.040 I was like, Ben, I don't think I ever would 0:14:06.040 --> 0:14:09.400 have said that. Secondly, if I did say that, never, 0:14:09.600 --> 0:14:11.960 don't get me a present, like you should know better, 0:14:12.240 --> 0:14:13.720 like you should know me enough by now that that 0:14:13.800 --> 0:14:15.720 is not a Brittany Hockley way of living. So he 0:14:15.960 --> 0:14:18.480 thinks in his brain that he was doing the extra 0:14:18.600 --> 0:14:20.760 because he thought, oh, I get it, she doesn't want 0:14:20.760 --> 0:14:22.760 a present, so I'll just get her duty free perfume. 0:14:22.840 --> 0:14:26.200 And it made me think we as women, I. 0:14:26.160 --> 0:14:28.200 Mean, I'm sure men do too, but we say. 0:14:28.080 --> 0:14:30.920 So many things that actually have no connection to the 0:14:30.920 --> 0:14:31.680 meaning whatsoever. 0:14:32.120 --> 0:14:34.440 This is like the equivalent of girl math. It's like 0:14:34.480 --> 0:14:35.320 girl language. 0:14:35.560 --> 0:14:39.680 We have a whole nother dialogue that means something completely 0:14:39.680 --> 0:14:40.480 different to what we. 0:14:40.400 --> 0:14:42.480 Say, Oh yeah, mineus, I have a headache. Actually just 0:14:42.520 --> 0:14:44.880 means I don't want to have sex? Yes tonight? So true. 0:14:45.120 --> 0:14:47.080 Like when you're in an argument or something, you know, 0:14:47.120 --> 0:14:49.960 if like you're giving them the silent treatment and they're like, babe, 0:14:49.960 --> 0:14:50.720 what's wrong, You're like. 0:14:50.680 --> 0:14:53.000 Nothing, I'm fine, I'm fine. 0:14:53.120 --> 0:14:54.120 Everything is not fine. 0:14:54.120 --> 0:14:56.080 The floor is fucking lava. Everything is not fine. 0:14:56.160 --> 0:14:58.480 I am about to divorce you. We have so far 0:14:58.520 --> 0:15:01.840 from being fine that way. Your father shit. I've been 0:15:01.880 --> 0:15:04.520 thinking about this and there are actually so many things 0:15:04.560 --> 0:15:06.320 that I know why I do, and I know every 0:15:06.320 --> 0:15:06.880 woman does. 0:15:07.080 --> 0:15:09.080 I'm not hungry, Hey babe, do you want me to 0:15:09.080 --> 0:15:11.280 get you something on the way home? No, I'm not hungry. 0:15:11.720 --> 0:15:13.800 Always get them a burger. They are going to eat 0:15:13.800 --> 0:15:14.240 your food. 0:15:14.360 --> 0:15:15.680 No. Do you know what the equivalent of this is? 0:15:15.760 --> 0:15:18.000 This is not not that are you hungry? It's a 0:15:18.200 --> 0:15:20.560 do you want anything? When your partner's ordering something at 0:15:20.560 --> 0:15:22.320 a cafe, do you want anything? And they say no, 0:15:22.400 --> 0:15:25.800 I'm fine. You fucking know you know that I'm going 0:15:25.880 --> 0:15:27.640 to eat your chips and don't be mad when I 0:15:27.680 --> 0:15:29.440 do it and pretend like you didn't expect this. 0:15:29.560 --> 0:15:31.120 Yeah, because then I always say you said you didn't 0:15:31.120 --> 0:15:33.040 want anything. I evidently didn't mean it. 0:15:33.120 --> 0:15:35.080 Of course I didn't want anything, and then you got chips, 0:15:35.080 --> 0:15:37.000 and now I want them. I didn't want my own. 0:15:37.080 --> 0:15:38.960 I wanted to eat yours because I don't want so 0:15:39.120 --> 0:15:40.840 much of them that I want to whole serve. But 0:15:40.920 --> 0:15:42.720 I want you to share with me because you love me. 0:15:43.000 --> 0:15:45.480 That is absolutely the equivalent of mine and MAT's relationship. 0:15:45.480 --> 0:15:47.880 Matts so far now he won't even ask me, He'll 0:15:47.960 --> 0:15:50.240 just order a second or whatever he's having. Yes, he 0:15:50.320 --> 0:15:53.080 refuses to share with me. Yeah again. Okay on the 0:15:53.120 --> 0:15:55.000 food thing, what do you feel like eating? 0:15:55.160 --> 0:15:55.320 Oh? 0:15:55.360 --> 0:15:58.360 Whatever, baby you pick? Okay, what about pepperinizza? I don't 0:15:58.400 --> 0:15:59.400 like pepperini? Okay? 0:15:59.440 --> 0:16:00.920 Do you want to get a would never bear a 0:16:00.960 --> 0:16:01.240 hot dug? 0:16:01.280 --> 0:16:04.640