Speaker 1: Life Uncut acknowledges the traditional custodians of country whose lands
Speaker 1: were never seeded. We pay our respects to their elders
Speaker 1: past and present.
Speaker 2: Always was, always will be Aboriginal Land. This episode was
Speaker 2: recorded on de rug Wallamata Land. Hi guys, Hi everybody,
Speaker 2: and welcome back to another episode of Life Uncut.
Speaker 1: I'm Laura. I'm Brittany.
Speaker 3: That was brilliant time say to one, two three, I'm Laura.
Speaker 1: I'm Brittany.
Speaker 3: That was once again. What do you want me to do?
Speaker 1: I don't know anything.
Speaker 3: I don't know what I want? What do you want?
Speaker 1: Heaps of stuff? I want? Sex? You want?
Speaker 2: If you had to pick something that you wanted, sex
Speaker 2: was the first thing that came to your mind.
Speaker 1: Well, I could pick anything in the world.
Speaker 2: You literally said what do you want in life? And
Speaker 2: you're I just said what do you want?
Speaker 3: What do you want?
Speaker 2: Like?
Speaker 3: What do you want?
Speaker 2: And it is nine am on a Tuesday that we're
Speaker 2: recording this and the first thing that comes to your
Speaker 2: mind is sex?
Speaker 1: Yeah? Fuck? We are different, But I mean yes, we
Speaker 1: are different. You're married, live with your partner and have
Speaker 1: two kids and have been with him for seven years.
Speaker 1: I have a partner that I haven't seen in three months,
Speaker 1: lives overseas, I've only been together at you. We're very
Speaker 1: very different waves right now.
Speaker 2: Sometimes I think we're the same person, and then other
Speaker 2: times I'm like, we're so different.
Speaker 1: Okay, And the first thing that comes into your head
Speaker 1: then all right, you could go anywhere in the world
Speaker 1: right now, where are you going to bed? Fuck? We
Speaker 1: are different.
Speaker 2: If I could go anywhere in the world right now,
Speaker 2: I think I'd go to Fiji, And the reason for
Speaker 2: that is because I would still take my kids, but
Speaker 2: there's an excellent kids club.
Speaker 1: No, you could have anything is if you wouldn't leave
Speaker 1: your kids at home, and no, I want to bring
Speaker 1: bantic holiday with your husband. Nah.
Speaker 2: I really love hanging out with my kids and also
Speaker 2: with that, and Matt really loves it too. And there's
Speaker 2: nothing I enjoy more than laying by the pool, drinking
Speaker 2: a margarita and watching him try and swim lap underneath it.
Speaker 1: It's my favorite thing and very different. Anyway, guys, this is.
Speaker 2: Our askuncut episode where we answer all if you beat
Speaker 2: your dark and you're burning questions.
Speaker 1: I am going rogue today and doing an accidentally unfiltered
Speaker 1: on today's episode because it just came in last night
Speaker 1: from one of our listeners.
Speaker 2: You know what's good when you haven't even gotten it
Speaker 2: out of your mouth yet and you're already laughing. It's
Speaker 2: just so dumb and just something I feel like I
Speaker 2: would do. So I put up a story frame last
Speaker 2: night that was like, get your last minute tickets to
Speaker 2: the Last Life on Cut podcast tour shows.
Speaker 1: This girl rives back to me, I'll shout her out.
Speaker 1: Her name's Tori, Hi, Tory, she writes back, and she goes,
Speaker 1: not me just turned up to the Canberra show a
Speaker 1: week early, on Tory.
Speaker 2: Maybe she just wants to be there so bad she's
Speaker 2: going to camp out for the week.
Speaker 1: I wrote back to her, yelling, no, you did not,
Speaker 1: and she said, yes, I did. And this was after
Speaker 1: I had the audacity to complain that my tickets, which
Speaker 1: were promised to be sent to me seventy two hours
Speaker 1: before the show, hadn't come through yet. She goes, Nope,
Speaker 1: you'd think it would have clicked by now. It didn't.
Speaker 1: And I said, this is actually so funny, but obviously
Speaker 1: not funny. She goes, the worst part was deciding whether
Speaker 1: I stay out for the length of the show, or
Speaker 1: go home and admit to my boyfriend what I'd done?
Speaker 1: Oh Ac said, So what did to do? She goes,
Speaker 1: I lasted ten minutes and I got bored, so I
Speaker 1: had to go home and admit defeat.
Speaker 2: Do you know what, though, if you were okay, this
Speaker 2: is again once again, when you're in different places of life,
Speaker 2: you would play that differently. If you were married and
Speaker 2: you had kids, you would stay out, you would find
Speaker 2: something to do, and then you would just try and
Speaker 2: reschedule another one for two weeks later.
Speaker 1: What would you do? Would you admit? What you would
Speaker 1: you have been?
Speaker 2: Like?
Speaker 1: I just turned up to a whole theater show. Like
Speaker 1: You've gotten dressed, you've done your makeup, you've had your
Speaker 1: pre drinks. You've turned up and she was by herself.
Speaker 1: She's coming. Tory is coming to the show in Canberra alone.
Speaker 2: Okay, Tory, can you please make yourself known to the
Speaker 2: person sitting next to you when you arrive, because hopefully
Speaker 2: they've listened to this episode and they will become your friend.
Speaker 1: A week early? How do you get it that wrong?
Speaker 1: Don't you start?
Speaker 2: You've gone to an event a whole week early, or
Speaker 2: like a whole week late, before.
Speaker 3: Don't have to throw a judgment at Tory.
Speaker 1: I also turned up to my holiday a week earlier.
Speaker 1: I turned off and that's like book in some Brittany.
Speaker 1: She was like, what that's next week? And I was like, oh, do.
Speaker 2: You know what I This is the shit I do
Speaker 2: all the time. I'm like, I'm a very forgetful person.
Speaker 2: I've spoken about it before. I have so much going
Speaker 2: on in my life that my calendar is chaos and
Speaker 2: I often get things wrong.
Speaker 1: So I never.
Speaker 2: Tell people when I do, for fear that they use
Speaker 2: it against me. Because if I did that and then
Speaker 2: I told Matt, Matt would be like, oh my god,
Speaker 2: typical Laura.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it just adds to the So I'm like, you
Speaker 1: will never know. I will never tell you that this
Speaker 1: happened to me. Now I'm thinking about it. Yeah, there's
Speaker 1: been a lot of instances. I did it with a
Speaker 1: flight as well, So I've done flight event and accommodation
Speaker 1: like holiday.
Speaker 2: Well, look, Tory, next week going to be a concert,
Speaker 2: so it's fun.
Speaker 1: Now that's a concept.
Speaker 3: How could you Everything else is understandable anyway.
Speaker 2: Okay, Look, I wanted to before we answer your questions,
Speaker 2: there was something I saw this week, and I gave
Speaker 2: me such a giggle.
Speaker 3: It went a bit too far.
Speaker 2: I just want to put that out there first, but
Speaker 2: it gave me giggle, And then I wanted to ask
Speaker 2: you guys the question right, and we put it up
Speaker 2: in our social media. But basically the question was is
Speaker 2: what is the pettiest grudge that you have ever held
Speaker 2: on too? And like what I mean by that is
Speaker 2: not just the pettiest grudge, but like, what are the
Speaker 2: pettiest things that you've done in return to try and
Speaker 2: get back at someone who's done wrong by you? Yeah,
Speaker 2: just the pettiest thing You've just the pettiest thing, but
Speaker 2: it has to be like a bit of a long
Speaker 2: term grudge, Okay. And the reason why I said this
Speaker 2: is because there was a TikTok that went viral last week.
Speaker 2: Now the girl who created this TikTok has deleted it
Speaker 2: because I think she's probably copped a bit of backlash
Speaker 2: from this.
Speaker 1: How she deleted it. It's gone now, you can't find it.
Speaker 2: But I was so in it when it first came
Speaker 2: out and I found it, I was so in it.
Speaker 2: And then there were quite a few articles that came
Speaker 2: out about it, and then since that has happened. I
Speaker 2: went to go and watch it again before we did
Speaker 2: this episode, and I was like, oh, bless, it's gone.
Speaker 2: So look, I'm not going to send you to her
Speaker 2: Instagram with TikTok because obviously she wants to not be named.
Speaker 1: She needs to disappear.
Speaker 2: But basically what happened was that, so fifteen years prior,
Speaker 2: this is a long grudge. So fifteen years prior, she
Speaker 2: went to a comedy show with her girlfriends and one
Speaker 2: of her mates stood up, and then she accidentally bumped
Speaker 2: into this guy, and then he spilled his drink, so like,
Speaker 2: you know, annoying but accidental accident. So instead of him
Speaker 2: just brushing that off and moving on with his night,
Speaker 2: he completely lost it. He stood up and he caught
Speaker 2: her a stupid fat bitch, which is fucking horrible and then.
Speaker 3: Unnecessary to totally unnecessary.
Speaker 2: He was so rude to her, and he continued on
Speaker 2: carrying on like an absolute flog for way longer than
Speaker 2: what was appropriate. Anyway, her girlfriend was completely like distressed
Speaker 2: and upset by it. She went to the bathroom. They
Speaker 2: ended up leaving the night and she went home. This
Speaker 2: girl who made the TikTok went home that night, and
Speaker 2: she was like, no, you know what.
Speaker 1: Fuck this guy.
Speaker 2: Fuck him for making my friend feel so sad and
Speaker 2: for making her feel so self conscious.
Speaker 1: How dare he? I think I read he actually spat
Speaker 1: on her. Oh and he caught her an ugly bitch.
Speaker 1: He really went to town and it's proper abuse. He
Speaker 1: spat on her because she accidentally. I mean, I'm sorry,
Speaker 1: but I would have been throwing fifties.
Speaker 3: Throwing fifty.
Speaker 1: For fifty.
Speaker 3: You're not gonna like this.
Speaker 1: You asked for this bough. Oh no, but how bad
Speaker 1: I I am?
Speaker 2: Then?
Speaker 1: I don't know how to say. I'd be throwing fisty.
Speaker 3: You've never had a fight in your life. I'm gonna
Speaker 3: throw it fisty. You've lost me.
Speaker 1: Don't say I didn't warn you. I'm coming and dry. Okay. Wow.
Speaker 2: So anyway, she then says this iconic line in her TikTok.
Speaker 2: She says, so we moved on with our night, but
Speaker 2: we did not move on.
Speaker 3: With our life.
Speaker 2: Now, this girl went and found the guy on Facebook, right,
Speaker 2: I don't know, maybe it's a small town, but she
Speaker 2: finds him eventually on Facebook, and I think, you know what,
Speaker 2: she probably went to the venue looked at like tagged
Speaker 2: photos and stuff. Anyway, she found him. She also found
Speaker 2: out that he was really into his TV shows, like
Speaker 2: TV shows like The Walking Dead, like Breaking Bad, and
Speaker 2: these are weekly shows.
Speaker 1: It she fucking got deep, man, and what did she like,
Speaker 1: I'm hacking into his hate.
Speaker 2: So then she started sending him spoilers every week before
Speaker 2: the episode came out. She created all these fake accounts
Speaker 2: and she would send him spoilers to the TV shows
Speaker 2: that he loved. Now, this was getting him really upset
Speaker 2: because he was writing things on Twitter and on his Facebook.
Speaker 1: Was a spoil TV show.
Speaker 2: So anyway, he was getting really irate by this, and
Speaker 2: obviously you know it was affecting him because he wanted
Speaker 2: to watch his shows.
Speaker 3: No one likes a fucking spoiler.
Speaker 2: Anyway, Eventually, as you do, she moved on because she
Speaker 2: got over it.
Speaker 1: She got bored by it.
Speaker 2: Like but she did this for quite a long time
Speaker 2: to a point where it was very annoying for him.
Speaker 2: She eventually was like, ha haha, moved on now. Plot twist.
Speaker 2: You would never believe this. Years later, when she was
Speaker 2: at university, she ended up in the same study as him.
Speaker 2: Like basically they ended up doing the same course, stop it.
Speaker 2: And she was like, this guy was a monumental flog.
Speaker 2: Like She's like, it reignited my deep hatred for him.
Speaker 2: She's like, he was the sort of person who, when
Speaker 2: you're at university, always plays the devil's advocate, like always
Speaker 2: wants to just defy, just to have a fucking debate
Speaker 2: about something. And sometimes she's sitting there like shut up
Speaker 2: and let the teach teach. Anyway, so it starts again,
Speaker 2: so she was like very personal law, Yeah, we all
Speaker 2: know that I've been there anyway, So okay, when she's
Speaker 2: at university, she finds out the guy's Reddit name, so
Speaker 2: she can go even deeper on the things that he likes.
Speaker 1: And also she finds that he's like quite problematic.
Speaker 2: In his views, you know how like reddit you can
Speaker 2: really it really is, and it does not necessarily bring
Speaker 2: out the best in people's opinions and views anyway, So
Speaker 2: she got into his reddit and she kind of saw
Speaker 2: the things that he was writing. Wait for it, it
Speaker 2: continues fifteen years later, so she finds out that he
Speaker 2: is engaged to a girl who is a friend of
Speaker 2: a friend, someone who she knows, and she's like, this
Speaker 2: woman is an absolute angel, Like she is just a sweet,
Speaker 2: lovely woman, and she's like, I cannot believe she's marrying
Speaker 2: this absolute piek of a person. Anyway, she once again
Speaker 2: goes on to his reddit, and she finds all of
Speaker 2: these posts, and she finds all these things that he's
Speaker 2: said and done. She doesn't go into context around what
Speaker 2: it is, but it sounds like it's really problematic. It
Speaker 2: also sounds like the type of stuff that if you
Speaker 2: were marrying someone you would want to know. And I'm
Speaker 2: guessing it kind of pertained to like cheating, or it
Speaker 2: pertained to his views around cheating.
Speaker 1: Anyway. She then created a fake account.
Speaker 2: And sent all of the screen grabs of his Reddit
Speaker 2: to the new fiance.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, Yeah, this is so excessive.
Speaker 3: It's so excessive.
Speaker 1: This is bordoline harassment. It's not actually not badline harassing.
Speaker 1: It's not borderline. It is you're talking unstable and harassment
Speaker 1: for fifteen years, but like it's you know, I'm here
Speaker 1: for it.
Speaker 2: Anyway, It turns out well, she finds out through her
Speaker 2: online stalking that the guy.
Speaker 1: When she was in his garden outside of this window,
Speaker 1: she found out.
Speaker 3: She found out that anyway, they didn't end up getting married.
Speaker 2: This woman's now married to someone else, has a beautiful family,
Speaker 2: moved on with her life.
Speaker 1: Whether it was because of the Reddit.
Speaker 2: Conversations, who knows, but she basically in this TikTok was like,
Speaker 2: I played the long game of revenge. And she's like,
Speaker 2: and I never ever was able to get over it.
Speaker 2: And she's like, was it petty? Yes, she's like, but
Speaker 2: did I get my payback? And then some.
Speaker 1: Yeah, was it worth consuming your life for a decade
Speaker 1: and a half? No, I don't think not, but it
Speaker 1: did make for a really good TikTok.
Speaker 3: Anyway.
Speaker 2: The reason why she's now deleted it, she is because
Speaker 2: people have come for her because obviously people like leave
Speaker 2: the guy alone, Like, you shouldn't sabotage someone's entire life
Speaker 2: over one incident that happened fifteen years ago, so like reporting.
Speaker 1: To the police if he sped on you and abused
Speaker 1: him and then move on.
Speaker 2: Nah. But the thing is, though, like I mean, my
Speaker 2: only part of me goes I want to protect this
Speaker 2: poor girl is because if he had seemed to have changed,
Speaker 2: if he like, because she's obviously monitoring his social media,
Speaker 2: so if his views weren't problematic if she could see that, like, Okay,
Speaker 2: well look he seems like a nice guy.
Speaker 3: Now he's you know, his views on.
Speaker 2: Reddit are really quite reasonable, and he really seems to
Speaker 2: have changed. I don't feel like she would have gone
Speaker 2: as hard for as long, but because she kept seeing
Speaker 2: things that he was doing that were like absolutely problematic.
Speaker 1: She's not a Reddit political vigilante go and monitorize for
Speaker 1: two decades and be like, you know, not all heroes
Speaker 1: were okay, some troll Reddit. No. I mean I love
Speaker 1: that she went for the revenge at the start, Like
Speaker 1: this story to me, would have been amazingly perfect if.
Speaker 2: It stoped fifteen years ago, if it stopped at the spoilers,
Speaker 2: like like after the event, she found him, she found
Speaker 2: his interest, and she spoiled it.
Speaker 1: No harm, Like, you know, people are not going to
Speaker 1: die from finding out the end of what happened at friends.
Speaker 1: But fifteen is that she stalked him.
Speaker 3: It's stalking, like, yes, do I approve?
Speaker 2: No?
Speaker 3: Does it make for something interesting to unpack?
Speaker 1: Yes? But we did put a call out. Do you
Speaker 1: guys for the pettiest thing that you have done? Have
Speaker 1: you done anything?
Speaker 2: Lare?
Speaker 1: Because I feel like you're pretty petty like no, like
Speaker 1: in your she knows it defency. I feel like in
Speaker 1: your twenties, like in that pretty crazy intense dating stage
Speaker 1: that you had for a decade, I feel like you
Speaker 1: would have done some petty stuff. I did some petty stuff,
Speaker 1: would you do?
Speaker 3: I'm a petty bitch.
Speaker 1: Anything you would talk about?
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, I'll tell you. Okay, So my eggs boyfriend
Speaker 2: who cheated on me and then we broke up. Yeah,
Speaker 2: actually he cheated on me lots of times, so he
Speaker 2: deserved this.
Speaker 1: He cheated on me for seven years, cheated on me
Speaker 1: for many years.
Speaker 2: I posted a whole heap of things on gum Tree,
Speaker 2: so basically I can't even remember what it was that
Speaker 2: I said I was giving away. I think I said
Speaker 2: I was giving away a PlayStation, something really dumb, but
Speaker 2: something that I knew would be fast moving. And then
Speaker 2: I put his phone number on it and I said
Speaker 2: it was free and you could come pick it up.
Speaker 3: And he received a million.
Speaker 1: Phone calls as long as that was that one time only,
Speaker 1: And you know I still do it.
Speaker 3: I did. I put one up yesterday.
Speaker 1: It's for content, content purposes, okay.
Speaker 2: Yeah, No, I don't think you're supposed to do that.
Speaker 2: I think it's not okay. I think it's actually quite illegal.
Speaker 2: But you know what statutory what is it called when
Speaker 2: ten years passes?
Speaker 1: And you have said that so many times in these podcasts,
Speaker 1: Laura out herself for something illegal, and she goes, it's
Speaker 1: been ten years. It's the statuary decades.
Speaker 3: It's been ten years. It's fine. I can talk about
Speaker 3: it now.
Speaker 1: And I'm like, Laura, that's that's not a thing.
Speaker 3: I think it is a thing.
Speaker 1: No, it's it's actually genuinely not. It's why people can
Speaker 1: go to prison fifty years later when new evidence comes up.
Speaker 1: It's not a thing. Maybe to stop breaking the law.
Speaker 2: Maybe for things like murder, it's not a thing. But
Speaker 2: for petty crimes, I reckon, it's a thing.
Speaker 1: You can't just rap. Okay, I'm not having this argument
Speaker 1: with you on air, but your going to prison. Okay.
Speaker 1: So I the only thing I've ever done. And when
Speaker 1: I say this out loud, I realize howpathetic I am.
Speaker 1: And I think I've said before I don't hold grudges
Speaker 1: and I'm not a petty person like I remember the
Speaker 1: sociopath crazy person that was cheating on me for two
Speaker 1: years and had a double. I thought this was like
Speaker 1: the best revenge ever. I just went to his house
Speaker 1: and took all his toilet paper. That was it.
Speaker 3: Apathetic, that's so lame.
Speaker 1: But in my head I was like, yeah, next time
Speaker 1: he does a shit, he's gonna have no toilet paper.
Speaker 1: That's howpathetic I am. Yeah. I mean, if this happened
Speaker 1: through COVID, I would say like, well played. But it's
Speaker 1: been ten years now, I still break into his house
Speaker 1: and take you to it.
Speaker 2: Okay, do you know I will say someone once got
Speaker 2: a petty revenge on me, So yeah, I don't know
Speaker 2: who it was though. So after the Bachelor finished, it
Speaker 2: was Britt. After the Bachelor finished, and I was living
Speaker 2: like Matt and I we were together, but we weren't
Speaker 2: actually together. He was, you know, living elsewhere we couldn't
Speaker 2: be seen publicly. I got this delivery to my house.
Speaker 2: I kind of think it was my ex boyfriend. But
Speaker 2: let's not accuse people. I got a delivery to my
Speaker 2: house and it was a package and I opened it
Speaker 2: and it was a kilo of glitter.
Speaker 3: Dix, I remember what you have sent me? A fucking
Speaker 3: kilo of glitter.
Speaker 2: So when I opened it, it exploded and there were
Speaker 2: little tiny dicks of glitter?
Speaker 1: Was it definitely to you? Like, did you check that
Speaker 1: it was Laura Burn?
Speaker 3: Yes, Laura Burn?
Speaker 2: And then it was like, you know, it was packaged
Speaker 2: up like a gift and I was like, oh my god,
Speaker 2: I'm like, people love me And I opened it and
Speaker 2: a bag of glitten dicks explow to load my house.
Speaker 1: Don't you think that's more something maybe one of the
Speaker 1: other girls in the house would have done than your
Speaker 1: ex boyfriend, because I don't know, maybe if you were
Speaker 1: the winner of the batch, was there someone you had
Speaker 1: beef with that would think that? Because that's not a
Speaker 1: manly thing to do, right, But like it's a very
Speaker 1: it's a very female thing to do.
Speaker 2: I mean, yes, it could have been one of the
Speaker 2: girls and just looked it. I never thought of that,
Speaker 2: all right.
Speaker 1: We asked you guys what some of your petty things were.
Speaker 1: There are a couple of funny ones. I chose an
Speaker 1: ugly photo of someone I worked with that I didn't
Speaker 1: like for the group presentation.
Speaker 3: Oh that's the fine.
Speaker 1: No, if any of us put photos of each other,
Speaker 1: we're like, why did you guys put that up? You
Speaker 1: can't put ugly for a group presentation that goes around
Speaker 1: your whole workplace, like and.
Speaker 2: You can't, but you cared. Okay, I used my card
Speaker 2: or my uber eats for months and months. He eventually
Speaker 2: realized and messaged me, and I just denied it. Oh wait,
Speaker 2: this is good. I poured glitter onto the ceiling fan blades.
Speaker 2: That's fucking great.
Speaker 1: Oh no, that's fucking it's so good that she's never
Speaker 1: coming out.
Speaker 3: That's actually amazing. I'm gonna use that.
Speaker 1: Edited my ex's hinge profile settings to over sixty years
Speaker 1: old and one hundred kilometers away. That's so dumb. He's
Speaker 1: gonna figure that out.
Speaker 2: What was it?
Speaker 1: She went hacked into her boyfriend, her ex boyfriend's hinge profile,
Speaker 1: and she set the settings to us looking for over
Speaker 1: sixty years old one hundred k I mean like that,
Speaker 1: when the granny's a turning up, you're gonna realize your
Speaker 1: settings on a bit of a mishap, right, Yeah.
Speaker 2: But also like that's only gonna last. Okay, I need
Speaker 2: like the long term pettiness. Okay, it's actually all too cute.
Speaker 2: You guys are too nice.
Speaker 3: I reported my ex boyfriend for lying on his tax return.
Speaker 1: Good. I mean in prison, so hectic.
Speaker 2: A girl I no canceled another girl's makeup booking for
Speaker 2: her formal as revenge.
Speaker 3: That's fucking savage.
Speaker 1: Would you do? You're not listening, you're reading I was written.
Speaker 2: The next one she called up and canceled her makeup
Speaker 2: booking just before her formal.
Speaker 1: Your mole, what does she do? You can't fucking do that.
Speaker 3: To someone on their wedding day.
Speaker 1: That's worse. I dropped one hundred and fifty keys all
Speaker 1: over Melbourne. Each tag said if found, please call this number,
Speaker 1: and it was her excess number. Do you know what? Look?
Speaker 2: That one is fine, But I think a way more
Speaker 2: cost effective way of doing it is just putting an
Speaker 2: add up on gum Tree. Multiples cost you nothing. It's
Speaker 2: free and there's you know, it goes out to more people.
Speaker 1: Totally because otherwise you have to buy one hundred hundred
Speaker 1: and fifty keys.
Speaker 2: That's actually like such an expensive revenge plot.
Speaker 1: This is so funny. I told my friend the wrong
Speaker 1: brand of perfume I was wearing so she wouldn't buy
Speaker 1: the same one. That is so petty. She's gonna know
Speaker 1: when you buy that, and she's like, this doesn't hit
Speaker 1: the same.
Speaker 2: Also, I do understand though, you know when you've bought
Speaker 2: something and you really love it, and your friend's like, oh,
Speaker 2: where did you get that?
Speaker 3: I want to go and get it, and you're.
Speaker 1: Like, fuck, I just want to stop buying the.
Speaker 3: Things that I like. It's annoying these guys.
Speaker 1: You guys are Actually.
Speaker 2: My ex was really organized and extremely obsessive about things
Speaker 2: being in the right place. I took all of his
Speaker 2: DVDs out of their cases and I put each one
Speaker 2: into another case.
Speaker 1: That's really funny and would be really annoying. That's really
Speaker 1: annoying y, especially if you have like two hundred DVDs.
Speaker 1: Remember when you used to go to Berlin and get
Speaker 1: all the pirated DVDs and you used to come home
Speaker 1: like you were the coolest kid in school if you
Speaker 1: came home with like a thousand pirate DVDs.
Speaker 2: We had three cases of them because my mum went
Speaker 2: over there this one year and literally spent one thousand
Speaker 2: dollars on DVD.
Speaker 3: So we had every DVD that you could ever possibly.
Speaker 2: Imagine, and it was like living It was like living
Speaker 2: inside video Easy.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, I got a friend a book titled A
Speaker 1: Guide to Kindness for her birthday.
Speaker 2: Oh, if you need to be petty towards your friends,
Speaker 2: you probably should just get You.
Speaker 1: Don't be friends, so don't give them a guide to
Speaker 1: how to be a better person.
Speaker 2: You could start there and then you could end with
Speaker 2: getting your friends. Anyway, let's get into our vibes and unsubscribes. Now.
Speaker 2: My vibe for the week is very u what's the
Speaker 2: word vibe? It's basic pitch vibes. The reason why is
Speaker 2: because I'm vibing a makeup that's been around for forever,
Speaker 2: but I've just rediscovered it.
Speaker 1: Okay, I'm actually gonna vibe two, so I'm vibing.
Speaker 2: Okay, I'm vibing the Face and Body from Mac Cosmetics.
Speaker 2: I used to use this when I was nineteen twenty,
Speaker 2: like all through my twenties, and I was dewey and
Speaker 2: I was youthful, and I thought that that was the thought.
Speaker 3: That's all. We are not letting anything through the kiva today.
Speaker 1: I was so mad to each other soon in a
Speaker 1: stupid mood.
Speaker 2: I was very youthful, and I thought it was my
Speaker 2: skin back then, but apparently it was the face and
Speaker 2: body makeup that I was using. So I used to
Speaker 2: use it religiously, as one would suggest from the name
Speaker 2: of Face and Body makeup. You can use it on
Speaker 2: your body. Great, on your legs. I've been using it
Speaker 2: all through the live show on my legs. Oh you've
Speaker 2: been keeping that one a secret. Yeah, and he's sharing
Speaker 2: it with me. Everyone's body. Everyone's been saying like, oh
Speaker 2: my god, you've got such great legs. And I don't
Speaker 2: you saw a photo of me yesterday and I look
Speaker 2: like I've got.
Speaker 3: Nine year old metal as.
Speaker 1: Everyone says, You've got great legs, and everyone's been gone Forritny.
Speaker 1: His legs look dry because you've been keeping the Face
Speaker 1: and Body moisturizer from me.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 2: So it's Mac Cosmetics Face and Body. The thing that's
Speaker 2: so good about it is it so it's very watery
Speaker 2: when you first open it, but it coagulates so you
Speaker 2: can make it thicker on your skin, and it reacts
Speaker 2: to air, so it kind of turns into a more
Speaker 2: thicker foundation the more that you let it oxidize in
Speaker 2: the air, if that makes sense.
Speaker 1: I love it.
Speaker 2: It is amazing and I've like rediscovered it and feel
Speaker 2: like I just now have this really deep love affair
Speaker 2: for it. The other thing I want to recommend is
Speaker 2: MC Beauty's their extend muscara. It's like not extend with
Speaker 2: an E, it's like x tend.
Speaker 1: I've got one right now.
Speaker 2: It's a tubular mascara, and it is fucking amazing because
Speaker 2: I'm somebody who anytime I use mascara, I get like
Speaker 2: makeup fool.
Speaker 3: I always get the black under my eyes.
Speaker 2: So the thing with tubular mascara is it's not waterproof,
Speaker 2: but what happens is when you want to take it off,
Speaker 2: you basically wet your lashes and you can pull the
Speaker 2: little tubes off your eyelashes.
Speaker 1: Yea, and like actually just it is what it sounds like,
Speaker 1: sort of grab it, it just comes back and.
Speaker 3: It slides off.
Speaker 2: But it just means if you're someone who's makeup voice smudges,
Speaker 2: it doesn't do that. So it kind of works like
Speaker 2: a waterproof a scar without making your eyelashes dry like
Speaker 2: a waterproof and scar. It is a game changer. I
Speaker 2: highly recommend.
Speaker 1: Great good vibes. Thank you, okay guys, so they won't
Speaker 1: say basic bitch after all? No, that feel great, very makeupy,
Speaker 1: beauty ish, which we don't often get from you facebody
Speaker 1: and eyes. Yeah. FB Okay, my vibe this week is
Speaker 1: a book, a book series for all those readers. Now,
Speaker 1: there's three books in the series. It is called The
Speaker 1: Bronze Horseman by somebody called Paulina Simmons. That's who's written by,
Speaker 1: not by the author, just by somebody a woman who
Speaker 1: happens to be the author named Paulina Simmons The Bronze Horsemen.
Speaker 1: So it's a trilogy. I have two book series in
Speaker 1: my life that have literally completely consumed and engulfed me,
Speaker 1: and I have become obsessed with. This is one of them.
Speaker 1: One was Outlander by Diana Gabaldon sam Hughan. We know it,
Speaker 1: I've talked about it. I've read it when I was
Speaker 1: nineteen twenty. I also read The Bronze Horseman when I
Speaker 1: was twenty. Like, so I found this series after I
Speaker 1: read the Outlander and I felt like I was lost.
Speaker 1: Have you ever you know when you finish a series,
Speaker 1: book or TV and it's so consuming that you're like,
Speaker 1: what do I do with my life? Now? That's what
Speaker 1: these books do, right. So I've reread The Bronze Horseman
Speaker 1: now because it's been fifteen years and I loved it
Speaker 1: as much as I did then now, I don't like
Speaker 1: war books as such, but it is set in nineteen
Speaker 1: forty one. It's set in the World War over in
Speaker 1: Leningrad in Russia. It's not a book about war. It
Speaker 1: is a love story between these two people, Tatiana and Alexander.
Speaker 1: They're the two characters. It is just the most incredible, beautiful,
Speaker 1: heart stopping love story. And the writing is so incredible,
Speaker 1: and the characters are made up, but it's all very
Speaker 1: historical and factual, so you're learning something at the same time,
Speaker 1: but obviously the characters that are in that time are
Speaker 1: made up. I can't recommend it enough. Sherry, my sister
Speaker 1: and I just we both felt the same way about it,
Speaker 1: and I reckon you'd probably love it, Laura, but it
Speaker 1: is three books, so you do need to like have
Speaker 1: that time to settle in.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 3: I love that we've both recommended stuff from when we
Speaker 3: were nineteen years old.
Speaker 1: Well, no, because I've reread it. A lot of the
Speaker 1: books I've been reading lately have been very, very nothing
Speaker 1: really great, like teenage love story novels, you know, the
Speaker 1: things that are just like just fluffy, sugary, fluffy, great sex, love, cute, whatever.
Speaker 1: But this is a book that will just hit different.
Speaker 1: I promise, So if you are a reader or you're
Speaker 1: looking for something the bronze horseman pulling the Simmons question
Speaker 1: number one, please help. I am getting married in three weeks,
Speaker 1: and I swear to God, I don't know if I'm
Speaker 1: getting the normal cold feet or legitimately getting the ick.
Speaker 1: My partner has never been good when comforting me or
Speaker 1: saying the right things if I'm upset or going through
Speaker 1: something difficult. Today I had a really bad day. Long
Speaker 1: story short, I have peak cosse going on one year.
Speaker 1: I had a horrible day with my symptoms, and my
Speaker 1: parents told me our family dog has untreatable cancer and
Speaker 1: doesn't know how long she has left to live. So yeah,
Speaker 1: she had a really hard day. I'm obviously very defeated
Speaker 1: and was always stressed out, but the news really upse me.
Speaker 1: All I wanted to do was go and tell him everything,
Speaker 1: get a hug, I kiss, some comfort, and talk it
Speaker 1: through with someone I love. But when I told him
Speaker 1: about my dog, all he said was oh, sad, and then,
Speaker 1: after an awkward silence of five seconds, said so what
Speaker 1: should we have for dinner? I then went to the
Speaker 1: shower to cry. Alone because I was so baffled by
Speaker 1: his response. Do I need to talk to him about
Speaker 1: his lack of empathy and feelings around something like this,
Speaker 1: or he maybe just not as attached as I am,
Speaker 1: and he didn't realize how upset I was, even though
Speaker 1: I told him, I don't know we're going to get married,
Speaker 1: and I know your partner can't be everything all the time.
Speaker 1: Maybe some people just go to friends or family for
Speaker 1: these things instead. But am I wrong for being salty
Speaker 1: and slamming all the doors in my house right now? No,
Speaker 1: you're not wrong for being salty.
Speaker 2: I think running around slamming doors is probably not the
Speaker 2: best way of I mean probably definitely not the best
Speaker 2: way of communicating that you're upset. He might not realize
Speaker 2: that he's the reason why you feel angry, not just upset.
Speaker 2: He might not realize that he didn't provide comfort for
Speaker 2: you in that moment to the level of which you needed.
Speaker 3: Now should he have realized that?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 2: Sure. We always hope that our partners are aware and
Speaker 2: perceptive enough and can understand are heard enough, especially when
Speaker 2: we've said it to them, that they're going to respond
Speaker 2: in a way that's going to make us feel completely
Speaker 2: validated and understood. I think it's like that feeling when
Speaker 2: when your partner doesn't meet you where you need to be.
Speaker 1: Met, you feel like they don't know you.
Speaker 2: You feel like you don't even understand how I'm feeling,
Speaker 2: which makes you feel further away from them.
Speaker 3: But I definitely think you need to speak to him.
Speaker 2: The only thing, though, is that maybe makes me want
Speaker 2: to question things a little bit, is that relationships are
Speaker 2: easy when things are good right, Relationships when everything's coasting
Speaker 2: and you're having a great time. Relationships are easy. It's
Speaker 2: in the moments that are really challenging. It's in the
Speaker 2: moments where there is heartbreak, there is tragedy, there is grief,
Speaker 2: that there is loss. They're the moments where people really
Speaker 2: show you who they are and they really show you
Speaker 2: how they can support you. And I mean, he may
Speaker 2: have not realized that you were as attached to your
Speaker 2: family dog, and he may not see it as a
Speaker 2: bigger thing. He might react very different if there was
Speaker 2: a loss of a person or if there was some
Speaker 2: other emotional tragedy that you're going through. He might not
Speaker 2: see those things as being similar. But I would hope
Speaker 2: that in the instance that you're going through something that
Speaker 2: you're really struggling with. He would have the emotional empathy
Speaker 2: and the ability to get on your level and to
Speaker 2: support you in a way that you need to be supported,
Speaker 2: because if this becomes repeated behavior, that space between how
Speaker 2: disconnected you feel is only going to get bigger and bigger.
Speaker 1: I agree, and I do agree with this girl saying
Speaker 1: I understand your partner can't be everything all the time,
Speaker 1: and that's completely accurate. But in my eyes, one thing
Speaker 1: that your partner should be is be able to comfort you,
Speaker 1: like when you go through something. I feel like that's
Speaker 1: almost I want to say, like the non negotiable of
Speaker 1: what they have in the relationship, Like, yes, they can't
Speaker 1: be your best friend and your employee and your husband
Speaker 1: and your spiritual leader and give you emotional things you need,
Speaker 1: and they can't do everything right and be a lover
Speaker 1: but be a sensitive lover but also be the chemistry
Speaker 1: sexy time lover like one hundred percent. You cannot have
Speaker 1: it all, But for me, being there in a tough
Speaker 1: time is one of those things that every partner should
Speaker 1: be able to do. It's like one of the basics.
Speaker 1: It's like the TiO hundred percent. It's the foundation.
Speaker 2: You don't need your partner to do everything for you,
Speaker 2: but that is literally one of the basic foundation things
Speaker 2: that you expect them to do for you.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's like the bread and butter of the relationship totally.
Speaker 1: So my only thing I do want to say here
Speaker 1: is if you are not communicating how upset you are
Speaker 1: to him, and you're not communicating that, he's not giving
Speaker 1: you what you need, he doesn't know. So if you
Speaker 1: have had this moment with him where you've said you're upset,
Speaker 1: but then you guys went on to talk about dinner
Speaker 1: and then you removed yourself to cry alone in the shower,
Speaker 1: so he didn't see, and you have said, I don't know.
Speaker 1: If he knows how upset I am, then he's not
Speaker 1: gonna know. Like you have to give him a little
Speaker 1: bit of grace in that sense. It's different if you
Speaker 1: break down crying to him and you're telling him and
Speaker 1: you're emotionally laying it all out and he responds that way,
Speaker 1: that's very different. Like if you're seeing, I need more
Speaker 1: from you and look how upset I am and he's like, babe,
Speaker 1: what's for dinner, that's completely different. So My first thing
Speaker 1: I'm gonna say is just let him know because they're
Speaker 1: not mind readers. Women aren't mind readers either. We're better
Speaker 1: at it than men for sure, but men aren't mind readers.
Speaker 1: So make sure you're communicating that with him, and then
Speaker 1: go from there and then say, I really need more
Speaker 1: from you in these moments like moving forward as well,
Speaker 1: and if it doesn't come naturally, you need to consciously
Speaker 1: try to provide it for me.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and you can say, you know, the reason why
Speaker 2: I felt like you weren't there for me is because
Speaker 2: you know, you said, oh, that's sad, and then you
Speaker 2: asked what's for dinner, like you didn't give me a hug.
Speaker 2: I needed physical affection in that moment. These are the
Speaker 2: things I need from you. I definitely agree with everything
Speaker 2: you said, Britt. I think that sometimes we expect our
Speaker 2: partners to be able to read our minds a little
Speaker 2: bit too much, and we expect that they should instantly
Speaker 2: know what we require of them intuitively know and sometimes
Speaker 2: they do, and sometimes they can really surprise us, and
Speaker 2: oftentimes they don't, and it can make you feel super disconnected.
Speaker 2: So that does come down to the conversation part of it.
Speaker 2: The only thing I do want to say is and
Speaker 2: I mean, I don't know if it's completely relevant to
Speaker 2: this specific situation, but it is something that's stuck with
Speaker 2: me off the back of when we interviewed Mark Groves years.
Speaker 1: Ago, Mark grows from Create the Love.
Speaker 2: Yes, Mark grows from Create the Love. We have an
Speaker 2: episode with him not link in the show notes, because
Speaker 2: we did that just before I'd gotten married. It was
Speaker 2: such an eye opener in terms of like how I
Speaker 2: want my relationships to be. And one thing he said,
Speaker 2: so Mark, he called off an engagement prior to getting married.
Speaker 2: He was in his twenties and he was getting married
Speaker 2: because he felt like that that was the next stage
Speaker 2: of what his relationship was at and what he thought
Speaker 2: he needed to do. And then he had this realization
Speaker 2: that he didn't want to get married to that person,
Speaker 2: not that he never wanted to get married in life,
Speaker 2: but that that person wasn't his right person. And he
Speaker 2: said that often we get told that you're supposed to
Speaker 2: have these feelings of doubt pre marriage, Like we've been
Speaker 2: sold this idea that it's normal to have quote unquote
Speaker 2: cold feet. Yes, for some people, it is normal to
Speaker 2: feel a little bit anxious about the fact that you're
Speaker 2: doing something that you've never done before. Right, there's a
Speaker 2: little bit of anxiousness, is okay. But if you're going
Speaker 2: into getting married terrified or second guessing yourself the ick,
Speaker 2: feeling the ick, those are not normal reactions to getting married.
Speaker 2: You should not be going into marriage feeling this incredible
Speaker 2: pull that it is the wrong thing, or questioning yourself
Speaker 2: so much that they're not your person. If that's how
Speaker 2: you're feeling, you need to unpack that before getting married.
Speaker 2: And I think that's some very honest conversations with your partner,
Speaker 2: not necessarily around how you're feeling about having the ick,
Speaker 2: because that's pretty damning, but the things that have led
Speaker 2: you to feel like you have the ick, to make
Speaker 2: sure that you are on the same page, because if
Speaker 2: you're not on the same page before getting married, you're
Speaker 2: certainly not going to be on the same page after
Speaker 2: you're married, because it doesn't change the relationship, it just
Speaker 2: makes it harder to leave.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Also, the i's pretty hard to reverse, Like, once
Speaker 1: you're in it, you're in it, so don't let it
Speaker 1: get that far. Oh I imagine about to get married though,
Speaker 1: and you feel like that, like three weeks away, You're
Speaker 1: not meant to.
Speaker 2: I genuinely think a little cold feet, A little bit
Speaker 2: of cold feet, fine, an overwhelming feeling of this is.
Speaker 1: Not right, is not normal.
Speaker 2: It's not You should not go into getting married terrified
Speaker 2: or having the fucking dick or feeling like what am
Speaker 2: I doing? Yeah, because if you're feeling that, that's not normal.
Speaker 1: Okay, sorry, just getting passionate about it. Question number two.
Speaker 1: I'm twenty two and I have been in a relationship
Speaker 1: for almost two years and I love him very much.
Speaker 1: We live together and have traveled all over together. He
Speaker 1: truly is my person. The only issue is he's starting
Speaker 1: to go bold, both at the back and the front.
Speaker 1: How do I broach this subject without making him feel
Speaker 1: bad about it and to open up the discussion so
Speaker 1: that he doesn't feel like I'm attacking his looks? You don't,
Speaker 1: you don't, you don't, you don't. No, you buy him
Speaker 1: a beanie, no jog, that's a bad job.
Speaker 2: I find it's such interesting thing, right, And I say
Speaker 2: this because when I was younger, I would have like
Speaker 2: much like younger I'm talking like in my early twenties,
Speaker 2: I would have made like the bald jokes. I would
Speaker 2: have been like, oh, but now I understand just how
Speaker 2: problematic it is and how it is the exact same
Speaker 2: as saying making fun of a woman for putting on weight,
Speaker 2: or a woman for I don't know, getting acne, or
Speaker 2: it's the same as any other type of physical change
Speaker 2: that you don't necessarily have control over or care about, like, well,
Speaker 2: kind of change who you are totally why I don't
Speaker 2: know why you need to bring it to his attention.
Speaker 1: I also think like he knows, Yeah, there's a.
Speaker 2: Totally there's a really good chance he knows. And I
Speaker 2: think sometimes when it comes to baldness with men, because
Speaker 2: it's men, we think it's okay to make fun of
Speaker 2: like we're like, oh, whatever, you know, But we would
Speaker 2: be so up in arms if a man was to
Speaker 2: make fun of a woman, or it was to say,
Speaker 2: like if this question was, Hey, my girlfriend's put on
Speaker 2: a bit of weight and I really want to just
Speaker 2: you know, I don't know the right way is to
Speaker 2: point it out to her that I want her to know,
Speaker 2: but like I don't want her to feel like I'm
Speaker 2: attacking her.
Speaker 3: We would say, fucking shut up.
Speaker 2: There is no way you can say that to her,
Speaker 2: and also like, why is this something that's become a
Speaker 2: problem within your relationship?
Speaker 1: Now.
Speaker 3: I don't want to go as hard on.
Speaker 2: You because I appreciate that you've written it in, but
Speaker 2: I do want you to question why is it that
Speaker 2: we feel like it's okay to comment on the way
Speaker 2: a man looks, especially when it comes to baldness, because
Speaker 2: baldness can be a real moment of insecurity for guys.
Speaker 2: It can be something that they really feel emasculated around,
Speaker 2: and it's something that for a lot of men who
Speaker 2: are bald and who are transitioning to going bald or
Speaker 2: losing hair, that they already feel so self conscious about.
Speaker 1: Look. I do find it interesting that you proceed that
Speaker 1: statement with he truly is my person, but he's going bald.
Speaker 1: I don't understand why that changes anything. What I do
Speaker 1: want to say is just to give a different point
Speaker 1: of view from you, Laura. Everything that you said I
Speaker 1: agree with. The only way I think you can bring
Speaker 1: this up is if he brings it up. If he
Speaker 1: wants to talk about it, you can talk about it,
Speaker 1: but you cannot bring it up. The only other way
Speaker 1: you could bring it up is if he is going
Speaker 1: bald at the back and you think he doesn't know,
Speaker 1: then that's probably something I would tell my partner for sure,
Speaker 1: But that's not a I wouldn't tell my partner that
Speaker 1: as a problem. I'd be like, hey, do you know
Speaker 1: that you're losing some hair there? Like, I think that's okay,
Speaker 1: because if I was going bald at the back of
Speaker 1: my head and I because I can't see it, and
Speaker 1: I don't know, you are going bald at the back
Speaker 1: of your head, I do have a double crown.
Speaker 2: It looks bored every time we get ready for a
Speaker 2: Las show butt and he's like, is my ball spot covered? Yeah?
Speaker 1: Because I could a double Oh guys, if you know
Speaker 1: what a double crown is, it's like a Rhodesian ridge back,
Speaker 1: like where their hair goes a different direction. Anyway, my
Speaker 1: hair does like a cyclone sort of swirly thing, and
Speaker 1: then it looks like I got a ball patch. Anyway,
Speaker 1: if I was actually going bald at the back, I
Speaker 1: would want my partner to tell me if they could
Speaker 1: see it and I had no idea, Sure, tell me,
Speaker 1: don't make it like it's a problem. But it's more
Speaker 1: of a just letting you know in case you didn't.
Speaker 1: You would Lord, don't you shake your head. If you
Speaker 1: were bald at the back and no one told you
Speaker 1: you pissed off, you'd be pissed off. But that has
Speaker 1: to be like a heads up telling you because you
Speaker 1: might not know, but you can't care about it. And
Speaker 1: the only way you can have a discussion because you
Speaker 1: said you need to open up the discussion, like you
Speaker 1: want to open it up, right, So what do you
Speaker 1: want to open up for? You want to open up
Speaker 1: because you think he needs a hair transplant. This is
Speaker 1: a fine to suggest that to him if he says,
Speaker 1: do you know any treatments for going bald? Like if
Speaker 1: he brings that up to you, you can be like, oh,
Speaker 1: this heaps of stuff. Because the other thing is there
Speaker 1: are hair transplants right every second. I know people around
Speaker 1: Sydney that have had them. They're actually quite common now.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but also like that is very that's a very extreme,
Speaker 2: like there's loads of things that you can do prior
Speaker 2: to that, like just rogain. Look, I guess my thing
Speaker 2: is and I don't know if I agree with you, Britt.
Speaker 2: And the reason why I say this is because I
Speaker 2: don't think I would ever bring it up, like if
Speaker 2: I looked at Matt, and I ever thought that there
Speaker 2: was something about him that was changed, you know, like anything.
Speaker 2: If I noticed it, I would not feel compelled to
Speaker 2: point it out to him. And the reason for that
Speaker 2: is even if it came with good intentions, even if
Speaker 2: it was because I thought, maybe he hasn't noticed, and
Speaker 2: I want to tell him that his hair's a bit
Speaker 2: thinner on you know, that maybe he might want to
Speaker 2: do something about it if he hasn't noticed. I don't
Speaker 2: want to be the one responsible for breeding and insecurity
Speaker 2: in the person that I love. I'm not going to
Speaker 2: point it out to them in the same way that
Speaker 2: if Matt turned around and said to me, oh, your
Speaker 2: malasma's gotten a bit darker, babe, have you noticed?
Speaker 1: He would never do it.
Speaker 2: He would never point out something about my body that
Speaker 2: maybe I didn't notice so that I could fix it,
Speaker 2: because that all that does is make people feel so
Speaker 2: fucking insecure, and if you're not already insecure, you soon
Speaker 2: will be.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm gonna I mean, we won't agree on this,
Speaker 1: because I do disagree on that. I wouldn't like it
Speaker 1: if he pointed out malasma on my face. But you
Speaker 1: already know that I'm talking specifically about a bald patch
Speaker 1: on the back of your head. And I'm putting myself
Speaker 1: in that position. If I was going bald at the
Speaker 1: back of my head, which I do not see, I
Speaker 1: never see, and no one told me, none of my friends,
Speaker 1: not my partner, like not Ben, I'd be I'd be like,
Speaker 1: how could none of you have told me that? Because
Speaker 1: it's not something that I can see or notice. And
Speaker 1: that's the only way I say that she should bring
Speaker 1: that up. He's gonna know if there's a bald patch
Speaker 1: at the front of his head, you don't have to
Speaker 1: bring that up. But it's like it's highlighting something that
Speaker 1: that person might not know about, that they might actually
Speaker 1: be insecure about because they don't know about it. But
Speaker 1: once they're given that information, they can do something. I
Speaker 1: could do a comover, I could like cha, you know,
Speaker 1: like you can take that into your own hands. But
Speaker 1: you can't approach your partner and be like, hey, you're
Speaker 1: going bold, Let's talk about that, Like I've googled some
Speaker 1: things you can do about it. Let's get you a
Speaker 1: two pay Let's get you to Turkey to get your
Speaker 1: hair transplants. Like you just can't do it totally.
Speaker 2: And I also think it comes down to like the
Speaker 2: type of person that your partner is like and the
Speaker 2: type of relationship that you have, because like, okay, when
Speaker 2: it comes to hair loss, So I dated a guy
Speaker 2: who was losing his hair and he cared and I
Speaker 2: never mentioned it to him. I didn't care, but he
Speaker 2: really cared. So he was using rogaine. Right, So if
Speaker 2: you are losing your hair, the first line of treatment
Speaker 2: is every day treatment. So you can take a pill,
Speaker 2: a capsule which has a thing called like monoxidal in it,
Speaker 2: and then you also use it on your hair, right,
Speaker 2: And it's like a lotion or a roguain or whatever.
Speaker 1: There's many different brands of it.
Speaker 2: But the thing with that is that it's an every
Speaker 2: single day, can't miss a day treatment. Is your partner
Speaker 2: even the type of person who would want to keep
Speaker 2: up that type of upkeep because a lot of people aren't.
Speaker 2: So if you know, like, oh my god, there's no
Speaker 2: way my boyfriend doesn't even wash his hair every week,
Speaker 2: Like if he's never gonna use this product every single day,
Speaker 2: he doesn't care about his looks enough to do something
Speaker 2: that's going to be in every single day process, then
Speaker 2: I think that there's no point. And I guess like
Speaker 2: my big take home from this is that it should
Speaker 2: be insignificant. If you have found the person that you
Speaker 2: want to spend your life with, if you love them
Speaker 2: so much, if they are your penguin, and then you
Speaker 2: find out that their hairline's receding, it truly should be
Speaker 2: something that is absolutely insignificant. In the same way that
Speaker 2: you know if you put on weight, or if your
Speaker 2: body changes, or things start to look different about your
Speaker 2: person as we all look different as we age. They
Speaker 2: should not be big deals, and I guess it's not
Speaker 2: our partner's responsibility to point out the things that they
Speaker 2: think of flaws in us.
Speaker 1: Is how I feel? Amen, all right? Question number three. Recently,
Speaker 1: my dad gave my sister his car roughly worth about
Speaker 1: twenty thousand dollars as he no longer needs the car.
Speaker 1: My sister is a single mum with a good job,
Speaker 1: earning good money. I have two children and a husband.
Speaker 1: When I brought this up with my dad that I
Speaker 1: was a little bit hurt that he gave my sister
Speaker 1: a car and my family didn't get anything, he told
Speaker 1: me he didn't think of the car as money, and
Speaker 1: basically dismiss my feelings as he didn't see it that way.
Speaker 1: So my question is am I being unreasonable to expect
Speaker 1: something as well rivalry? This is okay? Look, no, I
Speaker 1: think you're being a little bit unreasonable. That's okay.
Speaker 2: That's how I feel because I don't think that everything
Speaker 2: in life is tit for tart right. And you know,
Speaker 2: maybe people will disagree with me because obviously we should
Speaker 2: treat our children evenly.
Speaker 1: I'm sure in your dad's mind.
Speaker 2: He sees the fact that your sister as a single
Speaker 2: mum is that he needs to still support her more.
Speaker 2: And you are in a relationship, you have a husband,
Speaker 2: the two of you mutually are contributing to your life together,
Speaker 2: and you have someone to build a life with. And
Speaker 2: now she's not building a life with anyone, and she
Speaker 2: has to rely on herself, right for everything. Well, one
Speaker 2: family is jeweling come and one is single income totally
Speaker 2: big and maybe not because we don't know. For example,
Speaker 2: we don't know if the other sister who has kids
Speaker 2: and a husband, is working. We don't know what their
Speaker 2: financial situation is because she hasn't said, so maybe that's
Speaker 2: not the case. Maybe she isn't financially great yes, But
Speaker 2: I guess the thing about when you become a single
Speaker 2: mum is is that you are always doing everything on
Speaker 2: your own, like everything. You don't have anyone to bounce
Speaker 2: the stuff off with, You don't have someone to come
Speaker 2: and help you to pick up there. There's no one
Speaker 2: to come home to and talk through the good bits
Speaker 2: of your day the bad bits of your day. And
Speaker 2: if you're lucky enough, your parents often come and help
Speaker 2: and fill in that void a little bit. And I
Speaker 2: know for me when my mom was a single mom,
Speaker 2: my grandparents monumentally filled that void and they did so
Speaker 2: much for my mum. And I guess I just kind
Speaker 2: of think like your dad probably, And when he says
Speaker 2: I didn't see it as money, I just saw it
Speaker 2: as a car to help her. He's not thinking about
Speaker 2: this like I love one daughter more than the other,
Speaker 2: I'm going to give her X amount of money and
Speaker 2: ha ha ha, you are getting nothing. He was probably
Speaker 2: just doing something that he thought would really help her
Speaker 2: while she, no doubt is going through a pretty tricky
Speaker 2: period of life, which is being a single mom, because
Speaker 2: it is hard.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think he probably just looked at it like
Speaker 1: it was situational. He looked at Okay, I didn't need
Speaker 1: my car anymore. You guys are husband and wife, assuming
Speaker 1: you've got two cars. She's a single mom. She could
Speaker 1: really do with that help. I don't think he thought
Speaker 1: this is the value of twenty thousand dollars. I'm going
Speaker 1: to purposely give it to my favorite child. I mean,
Speaker 1: we could be wrong. We don't know the situation, but
Speaker 1: I don't know many parents that would be like that
Speaker 1: in favor one person.
Speaker 2: I also think in life, like if you keep school
Speaker 2: like this, if you keep tally of your parents' relationship
Speaker 2: or with anyone, but especially it can be with parents.
Speaker 2: If you keep tally over the years, you could end
Speaker 2: up being in a situation where you are very, very
Speaker 2: hurt and you'll be bitter.
Speaker 3: And who is that going to help? No one.
Speaker 2: I kind of also think with this, like, if you're
Speaker 2: keeping tally, all that's going to do is erode your
Speaker 2: relationships with not just your dad, but also your sister.
Speaker 2: And I guess you know, at the end of the day,
Speaker 2: you have your husband who you can go to for support,
Speaker 2: you can invest in in terms of your relationship, you
Speaker 2: guys financially can work together towards your goals, and I
Speaker 2: think kind of focus on the things that you can
Speaker 2: do with your now nucleus family, with your husband and
Speaker 2: your kids, rather than thinking about what you can get
Speaker 2: from your parents. Is it a situation where maybe in
Speaker 2: the future, when they pass away, that their wills are
Speaker 2: not ended up being split evenly, then maybe that's a
Speaker 2: time for you to feel like, Okay, maybe my dad
Speaker 2: didn't love me as much as he loves my sister.
Speaker 2: But I don't think in this instance I would be
Speaker 2: getting as upset as what it seems to have upset you.
Speaker 1: Other people may disagree, and I think you're also upset
Speaker 1: because you've said dismissed my feelings. So maybe there's a
Speaker 1: level of you been upset because he wouldn't even try
Speaker 1: and understand where you came from. That can also hurt
Speaker 1: from a parent when they don't try to understand what
Speaker 1: you're saying or why you feel that way. But at
Speaker 1: the end of the day, I think that you've got
Speaker 1: to be really careful with this because it's going to
Speaker 1: probably just build a whole lot of resentment.
Speaker 2: Also, though I think that there's a sense of entitlement.
Speaker 2: Like I mean, at the end of the day, it's
Speaker 2: your parents' money. Like, as parents, we don't have to
Speaker 2: give our kids any money once their adults if we
Speaker 2: don't want to, so, like if he's chosen to pass
Speaker 2: a car onto one sister and not another, I would
Speaker 2: think that there are a lot of people listening to
Speaker 2: this who have siblings who have experienced, at one point
Speaker 2: in their life, feeling as though their parents have financially
Speaker 2: preferenced one child over another. I experienced it in my childhood.
Speaker 2: I have a little brother, and for a long time,
Speaker 2: I was like, why is my mom still supporting him
Speaker 2: as a mid twenty year old adult, But she didn't
Speaker 2: do that for us when we were in our mid twenties.
Speaker 2: And you make comparisons, and then when you make those comparisons,
Speaker 2: you think, well, well, why was I so hard done by?
Speaker 2: And all that's going to do is just fuck up
Speaker 2: your relationship. And I know now, like my relationship is
Speaker 2: amazing with my mum. I know she loves us evenly.
Speaker 2: It just was a different time in her life and
Speaker 2: she was able to support him more because she financially
Speaker 2: had the freedom because she didn't have two older kids
Speaker 2: to take care of at the time.
Speaker 1: Well, I sort of feel the same. It's which she says,
Speaker 1: am I unreasonable to expect something as well. It's hard
Speaker 1: for me to answer this because from the moment I've
Speaker 1: turned eighteen, I've never asked for or gotten anything from
Speaker 1: my parents' capacities. Like I was an adult and I
Speaker 1: went out into the working world and I did it,
Speaker 1: Like my parents' money to me is my parents' money.
Speaker 1: I was, like, they've worked their whole life, They've looked
Speaker 1: up to four kids. They've set us up that we
Speaker 1: can earn our own money, and we went to do
Speaker 1: our own jobs. Like it's different. So when I hear
Speaker 1: other people or families where their parents are like buying
Speaker 1: them a house, giving them cards, that blows my mind,
Speaker 1: Like I can't believe the parents did that. I'm like,
Speaker 1: I can't believe they would give up what they've worked
Speaker 1: for their whole life. They get to enjoy that money
Speaker 1: as well. That's how I think. So maybe I have
Speaker 1: a different lens on it, but that expects I expect
Speaker 1: not a dime from my parents even when they pass away.
Speaker 1: I don't expect a dime. I hope that they pass
Speaker 1: away having spent every dollar.
Speaker 3: They've gone totally.
Speaker 2: But I also think it's situational, right, Like, I mean,
Speaker 2: you've worked really hard, you've also been really fortunate, and
Speaker 2: you're in a position now where you earn money for
Speaker 2: yourself and you are very self sufficient, and there would
Speaker 2: be never a need for you to ask your parents
Speaker 2: for anything. There are absolutely going to be adults out
Speaker 2: there who have parents who you know are financially stable
Speaker 2: and they simply are not. Whether it be because they've
Speaker 2: gone through divorce, maybe they've been made redundant, whatever it is,
Speaker 2: that's the situation. I don't think that it's abnormal for parents,
Speaker 2: and I'm talking like older parents to help out their
Speaker 2: adult children in times of need. Oh no, And I
Speaker 2: don't mean that, No, I know you don't. I say
Speaker 2: that because, like, like you know, reiterating my grandparents. My
Speaker 2: grandparents financially helped my mum so much throughout my whole life.
Speaker 2: But I guess it comes down to like whether or
Speaker 2: not your kids financially need you, and that you're in
Speaker 2: a situation where like not just the love, but they
Speaker 2: need the support of dollars, the support of a car,
Speaker 2: the support of whatever it is a place to live,
Speaker 2: because you never stop being your kid's parents, even when
Speaker 2: they're all grown up, right, And I guess they've probably
Speaker 2: seen your sister go through a horrible marriage breakdown, she's
Speaker 2: probably had to find her feet again, she's gotten herself
Speaker 2: set up as a single mom in a house with
Speaker 2: the kids, and they just thought, maybe, you know, a
Speaker 2: car would probably make her happy and make her life
Speaker 2: a little bit easier, and.
Speaker 1: That maybe it was a safety thing. Maybe she didn't
Speaker 1: have a car that was safe enough for the kids.
Speaker 2: Like you don't know, you don't know, you know, And
Speaker 2: so I guess, like put yourself into that position, and
Speaker 2: maybe if it was you who was the single mom,
Speaker 2: you would have been the one getting.
Speaker 3: That offer from your parents. I don't know.
Speaker 2: I just think going back to this idea of keeping
Speaker 2: tit for tat, it's not healthy, It helps no one,
Speaker 2: It will not improve your relationship with your parents, and
Speaker 2: it will make you super resentful.
Speaker 1: But having said that, I also understand it, like one
Speaker 1: hundred percent. I understand where that feeling comes from, because
Speaker 1: there's always a bit of like from when you're a
Speaker 1: kids still adult, there's always a bit of a sibling
Speaker 1: I don't want to say rivalry, it's not the right word,
Speaker 1: but there's a level of jealousy maybe can be. Yeah,
Speaker 1: Like I think that that's really normal, and I think
Speaker 1: you just need to be a bit careful with it,
Speaker 1: that's all because you don't want us in packed your
Speaker 1: relationship with your sister. I have a question for you, Britt.
Speaker 2: Would you ever or have you ever had a conversation
Speaker 2: with your parents around their will.
Speaker 1: My parents' will would be split between the four kids evenly,
Speaker 1: and you've spoken about it. Yeah, we've spoken about it
Speaker 1: because we Yeah, I also know how they're gonna not
Speaker 1: how they're gonna die, that was sounded more. But I
Speaker 1: also know what we're gonna do for like their few
Speaker 1: like you know what they want at that part of life. Yeah.
Speaker 2: Actually, if you didn't hear it last week, we did
Speaker 2: it an interview all around we need to talk about
Speaker 2: aging and we didn't speak about wills specifically, but we
Speaker 2: did speak about the importance of talking to your parents
Speaker 2: around what they want for their lives and for the
Speaker 2: end of life and what that looks like. I have
Speaker 2: not really spoken to my mum around her will and stuff,
Speaker 2: Like she's definitely mentioned things to me, but I don't
Speaker 2: want it, Like I don't want anything.
Speaker 3: I don't want to.
Speaker 1: I'm like, just whatever you do with it, and if
Speaker 1: it's not.
Speaker 2: You guys, yeah, I know, give it to the kids,
Speaker 2: give it to the grandkids obviously. But then at the
Speaker 2: same time, my brother doesn't have children, so that wouldn't
Speaker 2: be either. He can have his bit and then I'll
Speaker 2: give the bit just to my grandkids because I don't know.
Speaker 2: I think that the problem here is is that when
Speaker 2: it comes to money, that people feel like they own
Speaker 2: or feel like they deserve, but they haven't earned. So
Speaker 2: when it comes to your parents' money, it can create
Speaker 2: such separation in families. It can create such a huge
Speaker 2: and awful division. But at the end of the day,
Speaker 2: that money is not yours. It is not yours to
Speaker 2: feel any ownership over. So if your parents want to
Speaker 2: do whatever the fuck they want to do with it, yeah,
Speaker 2: it doesn't mean that they love you less. It just
Speaker 2: means that they've made a decision with what is theirs.
Speaker 2: And I guess it's something that can be really hard
Speaker 2: to accept and it can cause a lot of breakdowns
Speaker 2: in relationships.
Speaker 1: Yeah, anyway, that's it. That was a different question.
Speaker 2: We really took a pivot, like we doglegged there we're
Speaker 2: all hard and now we're talking about dead people's money,
Speaker 2: and I don't we do not even know why we're
Speaker 2: there because we're talking about a single woman in a car.
Speaker 1: It's just a cal it's gone for a month.
Speaker 3: Right, Well, guys, okay, so you will know if you're
Speaker 3: listening to this.
Speaker 2: We had our Gold Coast show yesterday, but we don't know.
Speaker 2: We can't tell you how it is because we're recording
Speaker 2: this before the Gold Coast.
Speaker 1: Show because it's just going to be first thing in
Speaker 1: the morning. Wild.
Speaker 2: But that means that we only have two shows left,
Speaker 2: two live shows. We're going to Canberra and then we're
Speaker 2: going straight to Brisbane, our very last shows on the
Speaker 2: thirty first, which is the Brisbane show. If you haven't
Speaker 2: got tickets yet, there are some last minute tickets that
Speaker 2: were released.
Speaker 1: It's so fun.
Speaker 2: I know we've been talking about it forever, but it
Speaker 2: is so unbelievably fun. We hope that you guys would
Speaker 2: like come have such a good laugh. If you've been
Speaker 2: thinking about coming on your own, go get your tickets.
Speaker 2: There's like final release tickets. There's also some cheaper tickets
Speaker 2: if you get in there and.
Speaker 3: Find them what you like.
Speaker 2: The well, no, they're they're kind of like wherever there's
Speaker 2: single tickets, wherever there's any random ones left, or they're
Speaker 2: ones at the back, but they are cheaper and we
Speaker 2: have some merch to give away there and look it's
Speaker 2: all happening. Get your tickets, don't forget.
Speaker 1: Tell you mumdadte doun'te your friends and share the love
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