WEBVTT - Ask Uncut - Petty grudges and cold feet 0:00:00.160 --> 0:00:03.800 Life Uncut acknowledges the traditional custodians of country whose lands 0:00:03.840 --> 0:00:06.560 were never seeded. We pay our respects to their elders 0:00:06.559 --> 0:00:07.600 past and present. 0:00:07.560 --> 0:00:11.399 Always was, always will be Aboriginal Land. This episode was 0:00:11.440 --> 0:00:25.480 recorded on de rug Wallamata Land. Hi guys, Hi everybody, 0:00:25.800 --> 0:00:27.720 and welcome back to another episode of Life Uncut. 0:00:27.720 --> 0:00:28.720 I'm Laura. I'm Brittany. 0:00:28.920 --> 0:00:31.640 That was brilliant time say to one, two three, I'm Laura. 0:00:31.680 --> 0:00:32.200 I'm Brittany. 0:00:32.240 --> 0:00:34.080 That was once again. What do you want me to do? 0:00:35.640 --> 0:00:36.720 I don't know anything. 0:00:36.800 --> 0:00:38.960 I don't know what I want? What do you want? 0:00:39.400 --> 0:00:41.720 Heaps of stuff? I want? Sex? You want? 0:00:42.200 --> 0:00:44.120 If you had to pick something that you wanted, sex 0:00:44.200 --> 0:00:45.880 was the first thing that came to your mind. 0:00:46.159 --> 0:00:47.560 Well, I could pick anything in the world. 0:00:47.840 --> 0:00:50.120 You literally said what do you want in life? And 0:00:50.159 --> 0:00:52.400 you're I just said what do you want? 0:00:52.440 --> 0:00:53.000 What do you want? 0:00:53.120 --> 0:00:53.199 Like? 0:00:53.320 --> 0:00:54.200 What do you want? 0:00:54.520 --> 0:00:57.120 And it is nine am on a Tuesday that we're 0:00:57.120 --> 0:01:00.120 recording this and the first thing that comes to your 0:01:00.160 --> 0:01:01.040 mind is sex? 0:01:01.360 --> 0:01:04.920 Yeah? Fuck? We are different, But I mean yes, we 0:01:05.000 --> 0:01:07.800 are different. You're married, live with your partner and have 0:01:07.840 --> 0:01:09.720 two kids and have been with him for seven years. 0:01:09.840 --> 0:01:11.959 I have a partner that I haven't seen in three months, 0:01:12.200 --> 0:01:15.000 lives overseas, I've only been together at you. We're very 0:01:15.400 --> 0:01:17.080 very different waves right now. 0:01:17.120 --> 0:01:19.160 Sometimes I think we're the same person, and then other 0:01:19.200 --> 0:01:21.280 times I'm like, we're so different. 0:01:21.040 --> 0:01:23.560 Okay, And the first thing that comes into your head 0:01:23.600 --> 0:01:25.360 then all right, you could go anywhere in the world 0:01:25.400 --> 0:01:29.160 right now, where are you going to bed? Fuck? We 0:01:29.240 --> 0:01:30.000 are different. 0:01:33.880 --> 0:01:35.479 If I could go anywhere in the world right now, 0:01:35.520 --> 0:01:38.560 I think I'd go to Fiji, And the reason for 0:01:38.600 --> 0:01:40.679 that is because I would still take my kids, but 0:01:40.720 --> 0:01:42.440 there's an excellent kids club. 0:01:42.560 --> 0:01:45.280 No, you could have anything is if you wouldn't leave 0:01:45.280 --> 0:01:47.000 your kids at home, and no, I want to bring 0:01:47.120 --> 0:01:50.040 bantic holiday with your husband. Nah. 0:01:50.160 --> 0:01:52.919 I really love hanging out with my kids and also 0:01:52.960 --> 0:01:55.080 with that, and Matt really loves it too. And there's 0:01:55.120 --> 0:01:57.920 nothing I enjoy more than laying by the pool, drinking 0:01:57.920 --> 0:02:00.960 a margarita and watching him try and swim lap underneath it. 0:02:00.960 --> 0:02:05.800 It's my favorite thing and very different. Anyway, guys, this is. 0:02:05.800 --> 0:02:08.639 Our askuncut episode where we answer all if you beat 0:02:08.680 --> 0:02:10.160 your dark and you're burning questions. 0:02:10.480 --> 0:02:13.880 I am going rogue today and doing an accidentally unfiltered 0:02:13.880 --> 0:02:16.480 on today's episode because it just came in last night 0:02:16.520 --> 0:02:17.600 from one of our listeners. 0:02:22.480 --> 0:02:24.560 You know what's good when you haven't even gotten it 0:02:24.600 --> 0:02:27.400 out of your mouth yet and you're already laughing. It's 0:02:27.520 --> 0:02:29.960 just so dumb and just something I feel like I 0:02:30.000 --> 0:02:33.120 would do. So I put up a story frame last 0:02:33.160 --> 0:02:35.440 night that was like, get your last minute tickets to 0:02:35.480 --> 0:02:37.680 the Last Life on Cut podcast tour shows. 0:02:38.240 --> 0:02:40.480 This girl rives back to me, I'll shout her out. 0:02:40.480 --> 0:02:43.280 Her name's Tori, Hi, Tory, she writes back, and she goes, 0:02:43.600 --> 0:02:46.520 not me just turned up to the Canberra show a 0:02:46.600 --> 0:02:53.160 week early, on Tory. 0:02:53.200 --> 0:02:54.960 Maybe she just wants to be there so bad she's 0:02:54.960 --> 0:02:56.080 going to camp out for the week. 0:02:56.280 --> 0:02:59.480 I wrote back to her, yelling, no, you did not, 0:02:59.720 --> 0:03:02.320 and she said, yes, I did. And this was after 0:03:02.360 --> 0:03:05.119 I had the audacity to complain that my tickets, which 0:03:05.120 --> 0:03:07.240 were promised to be sent to me seventy two hours 0:03:07.240 --> 0:03:10.720 before the show, hadn't come through yet. She goes, Nope, 0:03:10.800 --> 0:03:13.079 you'd think it would have clicked by now. It didn't. 0:03:13.160 --> 0:03:16.359 And I said, this is actually so funny, but obviously 0:03:16.360 --> 0:03:18.920 not funny. She goes, the worst part was deciding whether 0:03:18.960 --> 0:03:20.920 I stay out for the length of the show, or 0:03:20.960 --> 0:03:23.240 go home and admit to my boyfriend what I'd done? 0:03:23.760 --> 0:03:26.160 Oh Ac said, So what did to do? She goes, 0:03:26.200 --> 0:03:28.360 I lasted ten minutes and I got bored, so I 0:03:28.360 --> 0:03:29.600 had to go home and admit defeat. 0:03:29.720 --> 0:03:31.720 Do you know what, though, if you were okay, this 0:03:31.760 --> 0:03:34.000 is again once again, when you're in different places of life, 0:03:34.120 --> 0:03:36.040 you would play that differently. If you were married and 0:03:36.080 --> 0:03:38.280 you had kids, you would stay out, you would find 0:03:38.320 --> 0:03:40.800 something to do, and then you would just try and 0:03:40.800 --> 0:03:42.240 reschedule another one for two weeks later. 0:03:42.400 --> 0:03:45.440 What would you do? Would you admit? What you would 0:03:45.440 --> 0:03:45.840 you have been? 0:03:45.880 --> 0:03:45.960 Like? 0:03:46.040 --> 0:03:48.040 I just turned up to a whole theater show. Like 0:03:48.080 --> 0:03:50.960 You've gotten dressed, you've done your makeup, you've had your 0:03:50.960 --> 0:03:53.600 pre drinks. You've turned up and she was by herself. 0:03:53.640 --> 0:03:57.000 She's coming. Tory is coming to the show in Canberra alone. 0:03:57.120 --> 0:03:59.200 Okay, Tory, can you please make yourself known to the 0:03:59.200 --> 0:04:01.560 person sitting next to you when you arrive, because hopefully 0:04:01.560 --> 0:04:04.160 they've listened to this episode and they will become your friend. 0:04:04.280 --> 0:04:06.880 A week early? How do you get it that wrong? 0:04:07.000 --> 0:04:07.640 Don't you start? 0:04:07.680 --> 0:04:09.520 You've gone to an event a whole week early, or 0:04:09.560 --> 0:04:10.720 like a whole week late, before. 0:04:11.120 --> 0:04:12.640 Don't have to throw a judgment at Tory. 0:04:12.920 --> 0:04:15.240 I also turned up to my holiday a week earlier. 0:04:18.360 --> 0:04:20.640 I turned off and that's like book in some Brittany. 0:04:20.720 --> 0:04:24.480 She was like, what that's next week? And I was like, oh, do. 0:04:24.440 --> 0:04:27.039 You know what I This is the shit I do 0:04:27.120 --> 0:04:29.240 all the time. I'm like, I'm a very forgetful person. 0:04:29.279 --> 0:04:31.560 I've spoken about it before. I have so much going 0:04:31.600 --> 0:04:33.760 on in my life that my calendar is chaos and 0:04:33.760 --> 0:04:35.080 I often get things wrong. 0:04:35.800 --> 0:04:36.560 So I never. 0:04:36.440 --> 0:04:38.520 Tell people when I do, for fear that they use 0:04:38.560 --> 0:04:40.680 it against me. Because if I did that and then 0:04:40.720 --> 0:04:42.440 I told Matt, Matt would be like, oh my god, 0:04:42.480 --> 0:04:43.360 typical Laura. 0:04:43.560 --> 0:04:45.279 Yeah, it just adds to the So I'm like, you 0:04:45.320 --> 0:04:47.720 will never know. I will never tell you that this 0:04:47.800 --> 0:04:50.080 happened to me. Now I'm thinking about it. Yeah, there's 0:04:50.080 --> 0:04:51.800 been a lot of instances. I did it with a 0:04:51.839 --> 0:04:54.719 flight as well, So I've done flight event and accommodation 0:04:54.880 --> 0:04:55.480 like holiday. 0:04:55.760 --> 0:04:58.080 Well, look, Tory, next week going to be a concert, 0:05:00.600 --> 0:05:01.120 so it's fun. 0:05:01.279 --> 0:05:02.120 Now that's a concept. 0:05:02.160 --> 0:05:06.240 How could you Everything else is understandable anyway. 0:05:06.360 --> 0:05:08.479 Okay, Look, I wanted to before we answer your questions, 0:05:08.640 --> 0:05:10.880 there was something I saw this week, and I gave 0:05:10.920 --> 0:05:11.760 me such a giggle. 0:05:11.800 --> 0:05:12.680 It went a bit too far. 0:05:12.839 --> 0:05:15.000 I just want to put that out there first, but 0:05:15.040 --> 0:05:17.039 it gave me giggle, And then I wanted to ask 0:05:17.080 --> 0:05:18.640 you guys the question right, and we put it up 0:05:18.680 --> 0:05:20.880 in our social media. But basically the question was is 0:05:21.279 --> 0:05:24.240 what is the pettiest grudge that you have ever held 0:05:24.279 --> 0:05:26.080 on too? And like what I mean by that is 0:05:26.279 --> 0:05:27.839 not just the pettiest grudge, but like, what are the 0:05:27.880 --> 0:05:30.640 pettiest things that you've done in return to try and 0:05:30.760 --> 0:05:33.240 get back at someone who's done wrong by you? Yeah, 0:05:33.279 --> 0:05:35.440 just the pettiest thing You've just the pettiest thing, but 0:05:35.480 --> 0:05:36.720 it has to be like a bit of a long 0:05:36.800 --> 0:05:38.480 term grudge, Okay. And the reason why I said this 0:05:38.560 --> 0:05:41.000 is because there was a TikTok that went viral last week. 0:05:41.200 --> 0:05:43.440 Now the girl who created this TikTok has deleted it 0:05:43.480 --> 0:05:46.000 because I think she's probably copped a bit of backlash 0:05:46.040 --> 0:05:46.320 from this. 0:05:46.520 --> 0:05:48.880 How she deleted it. It's gone now, you can't find it. 0:05:48.920 --> 0:05:50.640 But I was so in it when it first came 0:05:50.680 --> 0:05:52.200 out and I found it, I was so in it. 0:05:52.240 --> 0:05:53.640 And then there were quite a few articles that came 0:05:53.640 --> 0:05:56.640 out about it, and then since that has happened. I 0:05:56.680 --> 0:05:58.120 went to go and watch it again before we did 0:05:58.120 --> 0:06:00.640 this episode, and I was like, oh, bless, it's gone. 0:06:00.720 --> 0:06:02.440 So look, I'm not going to send you to her 0:06:02.440 --> 0:06:06.400 Instagram with TikTok because obviously she wants to not be named. 0:06:06.960 --> 0:06:07.880 She needs to disappear. 0:06:08.000 --> 0:06:11.320 But basically what happened was that, so fifteen years prior, 0:06:11.440 --> 0:06:14.480 this is a long grudge. So fifteen years prior, she 0:06:14.560 --> 0:06:16.760 went to a comedy show with her girlfriends and one 0:06:16.800 --> 0:06:19.360 of her mates stood up, and then she accidentally bumped 0:06:19.400 --> 0:06:22.240 into this guy, and then he spilled his drink, so like, 0:06:22.279 --> 0:06:25.599 you know, annoying but accidental accident. So instead of him 0:06:25.600 --> 0:06:27.920 just brushing that off and moving on with his night, 0:06:28.120 --> 0:06:30.360 he completely lost it. He stood up and he caught 0:06:30.400 --> 0:06:34.480 her a stupid fat bitch, which is fucking horrible and then. 0:06:34.440 --> 0:06:36.120 Unnecessary to totally unnecessary. 0:06:36.160 --> 0:06:38.400 He was so rude to her, and he continued on 0:06:38.480 --> 0:06:40.760 carrying on like an absolute flog for way longer than 0:06:40.760 --> 0:06:45.200 what was appropriate. Anyway, her girlfriend was completely like distressed 0:06:45.240 --> 0:06:46.839 and upset by it. She went to the bathroom. They 0:06:46.880 --> 0:06:50.839 ended up leaving the night and she went home. This 0:06:50.920 --> 0:06:52.719 girl who made the TikTok went home that night, and 0:06:52.760 --> 0:06:54.120 she was like, no, you know what. 0:06:54.480 --> 0:06:55.320 Fuck this guy. 0:06:55.880 --> 0:06:59.280 Fuck him for making my friend feel so sad and 0:06:59.320 --> 0:07:01.200 for making her feel so self conscious. 0:07:01.279 --> 0:07:04.520 How dare he? I think I read he actually spat 0:07:04.560 --> 0:07:06.760 on her. Oh and he caught her an ugly bitch. 0:07:06.880 --> 0:07:09.720 He really went to town and it's proper abuse. He 0:07:09.840 --> 0:07:12.360 spat on her because she accidentally. I mean, I'm sorry, 0:07:12.360 --> 0:07:14.240 but I would have been throwing fifties. 0:07:13.960 --> 0:07:14.840 Throwing fifty. 0:07:20.680 --> 0:07:21.480 For fifty. 0:07:24.360 --> 0:07:25.400 You're not gonna like this. 0:07:27.360 --> 0:07:32.040 You asked for this bough. Oh no, but how bad 0:07:32.040 --> 0:07:32.480 I I am? 0:07:32.520 --> 0:07:32.600 Then? 0:07:32.600 --> 0:07:34.440 I don't know how to say. I'd be throwing fisty. 0:07:34.720 --> 0:07:36.840 You've never had a fight in your life. I'm gonna 0:07:36.840 --> 0:07:40.800 throw it fisty. You've lost me. 0:07:44.520 --> 0:07:51.080 Don't say I didn't warn you. I'm coming and dry. Okay. Wow. 0:07:51.520 --> 0:07:55.239 So anyway, she then says this iconic line in her TikTok. 0:07:55.320 --> 0:07:58.400 She says, so we moved on with our night, but 0:07:58.480 --> 0:07:59.480 we did not move on. 0:07:59.400 --> 0:08:00.600 With our life. 0:08:02.280 --> 0:08:06.640 Now, this girl went and found the guy on Facebook, right, 0:08:06.960 --> 0:08:09.320 I don't know, maybe it's a small town, but she 0:08:09.480 --> 0:08:12.760 finds him eventually on Facebook, and I think, you know what, 0:08:12.960 --> 0:08:15.200 she probably went to the venue looked at like tagged 0:08:15.200 --> 0:08:18.600 photos and stuff. Anyway, she found him. She also found 0:08:18.640 --> 0:08:20.920 out that he was really into his TV shows, like 0:08:21.040 --> 0:08:23.560 TV shows like The Walking Dead, like Breaking Bad, and 0:08:23.600 --> 0:08:24.560 these are weekly shows. 0:08:25.600 --> 0:08:28.600 It she fucking got deep, man, and what did she like, 0:08:28.760 --> 0:08:30.400 I'm hacking into his hate. 0:08:30.480 --> 0:08:34.360 So then she started sending him spoilers every week before 0:08:34.360 --> 0:08:36.840 the episode came out. She created all these fake accounts 0:08:37.000 --> 0:08:39.160 and she would send him spoilers to the TV shows 0:08:39.160 --> 0:08:41.520 that he loved. Now, this was getting him really upset 0:08:41.559 --> 0:08:44.520 because he was writing things on Twitter and on his Facebook. 0:08:45.640 --> 0:08:47.040 Was a spoil TV show. 0:08:48.480 --> 0:08:50.640 So anyway, he was getting really irate by this, and 0:08:50.720 --> 0:08:53.280 obviously you know it was affecting him because he wanted 0:08:53.280 --> 0:08:53.960 to watch his shows. 0:08:53.960 --> 0:08:55.079 No one likes a fucking spoiler. 0:08:55.120 --> 0:08:58.240 Anyway, Eventually, as you do, she moved on because she 0:08:58.280 --> 0:08:58.760 got over it. 0:08:58.760 --> 0:08:59.640 She got bored by it. 0:08:59.720 --> 0:09:01.480 Like but she did this for quite a long time 0:09:01.520 --> 0:09:03.280 to a point where it was very annoying for him. 0:09:03.559 --> 0:09:06.920 She eventually was like, ha haha, moved on now. Plot twist. 0:09:07.000 --> 0:09:09.840 You would never believe this. Years later, when she was 0:09:09.840 --> 0:09:13.480 at university, she ended up in the same study as him. 0:09:13.480 --> 0:09:16.120 Like basically they ended up doing the same course, stop it. 0:09:16.400 --> 0:09:18.640 And she was like, this guy was a monumental flog. 0:09:18.720 --> 0:09:22.200 Like She's like, it reignited my deep hatred for him. 0:09:22.400 --> 0:09:23.960 She's like, he was the sort of person who, when 0:09:24.000 --> 0:09:27.320 you're at university, always plays the devil's advocate, like always 0:09:27.360 --> 0:09:30.480 wants to just defy, just to have a fucking debate 0:09:30.559 --> 0:09:32.840 about something. And sometimes she's sitting there like shut up 0:09:32.880 --> 0:09:35.079 and let the teach teach. Anyway, so it starts again, 0:09:35.360 --> 0:09:39.880 so she was like very personal law, Yeah, we all 0:09:39.880 --> 0:09:41.600 know that I've been there anyway, So okay, when she's 0:09:41.640 --> 0:09:43.840 at university, she finds out the guy's Reddit name, so 0:09:43.880 --> 0:09:45.960 she can go even deeper on the things that he likes. 0:09:46.000 --> 0:09:49.560 And also she finds that he's like quite problematic. 0:09:49.000 --> 0:09:50.520 In his views, you know how like reddit you can 0:09:50.600 --> 0:09:53.520 really it really is, and it does not necessarily bring 0:09:53.520 --> 0:09:55.880 out the best in people's opinions and views anyway, So 0:09:55.920 --> 0:09:58.480 she got into his reddit and she kind of saw 0:09:58.520 --> 0:10:00.800 the things that he was writing. Wait for it, it 0:10:00.840 --> 0:10:06.040 continues fifteen years later, so she finds out that he 0:10:06.160 --> 0:10:08.720 is engaged to a girl who is a friend of 0:10:08.720 --> 0:10:11.360 a friend, someone who she knows, and she's like, this 0:10:11.440 --> 0:10:16.320 woman is an absolute angel, Like she is just a sweet, 0:10:16.480 --> 0:10:19.320 lovely woman, and she's like, I cannot believe she's marrying 0:10:19.320 --> 0:10:22.320 this absolute piek of a person. Anyway, she once again 0:10:22.400 --> 0:10:25.120 goes on to his reddit, and she finds all of 0:10:25.160 --> 0:10:27.400 these posts, and she finds all these things that he's 0:10:27.440 --> 0:10:29.840 said and done. She doesn't go into context around what 0:10:29.920 --> 0:10:32.680 it is, but it sounds like it's really problematic. It 0:10:32.720 --> 0:10:34.680 also sounds like the type of stuff that if you 0:10:34.920 --> 0:10:37.679 were marrying someone you would want to know. And I'm 0:10:37.679 --> 0:10:39.560 guessing it kind of pertained to like cheating, or it 0:10:39.600 --> 0:10:41.080 pertained to his views around cheating. 0:10:41.520 --> 0:10:44.200 Anyway. She then created a fake account. 0:10:43.840 --> 0:10:46.680 And sent all of the screen grabs of his Reddit 0:10:46.960 --> 0:10:48.320 to the new fiance. 0:10:48.640 --> 0:10:52.240 Oh my god, Yeah, this is so excessive. 0:10:52.400 --> 0:10:53.200 It's so excessive. 0:10:53.200 --> 0:10:58.640 This is bordoline harassment. It's not actually not badline harassing. 0:10:58.640 --> 0:11:02.640 It's not borderline. It is you're talking unstable and harassment 0:11:02.840 --> 0:11:05.360 for fifteen years, but like it's you know, I'm here 0:11:05.400 --> 0:11:05.640 for it. 0:11:05.640 --> 0:11:08.640 Anyway, It turns out well, she finds out through her 0:11:08.640 --> 0:11:10.800 online stalking that the guy. 0:11:10.760 --> 0:11:12.720 When she was in his garden outside of this window, 0:11:12.800 --> 0:11:13.440 she found out. 0:11:13.720 --> 0:11:15.760 She found out that anyway, they didn't end up getting married. 0:11:15.920 --> 0:11:18.520 This woman's now married to someone else, has a beautiful family, 0:11:18.679 --> 0:11:19.760 moved on with her life. 0:11:20.000 --> 0:11:21.600 Whether it was because of the Reddit. 0:11:21.440 --> 0:11:25.240 Conversations, who knows, but she basically in this TikTok was like, 0:11:25.400 --> 0:11:28.160 I played the long game of revenge. And she's like, 0:11:28.200 --> 0:11:30.160 and I never ever was able to get over it. 0:11:30.160 --> 0:11:32.640 And she's like, was it petty? Yes, she's like, but 0:11:32.720 --> 0:11:35.240 did I get my payback? And then some. 0:11:35.679 --> 0:11:39.280 Yeah, was it worth consuming your life for a decade 0:11:39.320 --> 0:11:42.640 and a half? No, I don't think not, but it 0:11:42.679 --> 0:11:44.000 did make for a really good TikTok. 0:11:44.040 --> 0:11:44.319 Anyway. 0:11:44.320 --> 0:11:46.880 The reason why she's now deleted it, she is because 0:11:46.880 --> 0:11:49.120 people have come for her because obviously people like leave 0:11:49.160 --> 0:11:51.880 the guy alone, Like, you shouldn't sabotage someone's entire life 0:11:51.920 --> 0:11:55.240 over one incident that happened fifteen years ago, so like reporting. 0:11:54.960 --> 0:11:56.480 To the police if he sped on you and abused 0:11:56.520 --> 0:11:57.160 him and then move on. 0:11:57.400 --> 0:11:59.240 Nah. But the thing is, though, like I mean, my 0:11:59.320 --> 0:12:01.320 only part of me goes I want to protect this 0:12:01.360 --> 0:12:05.400 poor girl is because if he had seemed to have changed, 0:12:05.440 --> 0:12:08.040 if he like, because she's obviously monitoring his social media, 0:12:08.160 --> 0:12:11.160 so if his views weren't problematic if she could see that, like, Okay, 0:12:11.160 --> 0:12:12.400 well look he seems like a nice guy. 0:12:12.440 --> 0:12:13.680 Now he's you know, his views on. 0:12:13.679 --> 0:12:16.559 Reddit are really quite reasonable, and he really seems to 0:12:16.600 --> 0:12:18.319 have changed. I don't feel like she would have gone 0:12:18.360 --> 0:12:20.439 as hard for as long, but because she kept seeing 0:12:20.440 --> 0:12:22.559 things that he was doing that were like absolutely problematic. 0:12:22.640 --> 0:12:27.000 She's not a Reddit political vigilante go and monitorize for 0:12:27.040 --> 0:12:29.319 two decades and be like, you know, not all heroes 0:12:29.320 --> 0:12:32.760 were okay, some troll Reddit. No. I mean I love 0:12:33.559 --> 0:12:35.360 that she went for the revenge at the start, Like 0:12:36.120 --> 0:12:38.760 this story to me, would have been amazingly perfect if. 0:12:38.679 --> 0:12:41.199 It stoped fifteen years ago, if it stopped at the spoilers, 0:12:41.240 --> 0:12:44.000 like like after the event, she found him, she found 0:12:44.200 --> 0:12:45.520 his interest, and she spoiled it. 0:12:45.559 --> 0:12:47.480 No harm, Like, you know, people are not going to 0:12:47.520 --> 0:12:49.960 die from finding out the end of what happened at friends. 0:12:50.800 --> 0:12:52.760 But fifteen is that she stalked him. 0:12:53.440 --> 0:12:56.439 It's stalking, like, yes, do I approve? 0:12:56.559 --> 0:12:56.719 No? 0:12:57.160 --> 0:12:59.080 Does it make for something interesting to unpack? 0:12:59.200 --> 0:13:00.880 Yes? But we did put a call out. Do you 0:13:00.880 --> 0:13:04.040 guys for the pettiest thing that you have done? Have 0:13:04.120 --> 0:13:04.720 you done anything? 0:13:04.760 --> 0:13:04.880 Lare? 0:13:04.960 --> 0:13:08.160 Because I feel like you're pretty petty like no, like 0:13:08.240 --> 0:13:11.320 in your she knows it defency. I feel like in 0:13:11.360 --> 0:13:15.240 your twenties, like in that pretty crazy intense dating stage 0:13:15.240 --> 0:13:17.960 that you had for a decade, I feel like you 0:13:17.960 --> 0:13:20.160 would have done some petty stuff. I did some petty stuff, 0:13:20.200 --> 0:13:20.600 would you do? 0:13:20.640 --> 0:13:21.480 I'm a petty bitch. 0:13:21.840 --> 0:13:23.000 Anything you would talk about? 0:13:23.120 --> 0:13:30.240 Yeah, yeah, I'll tell you. Okay, So my eggs boyfriend 0:13:30.240 --> 0:13:33.000 who cheated on me and then we broke up. Yeah, 0:13:33.040 --> 0:13:34.520 actually he cheated on me lots of times, so he 0:13:34.520 --> 0:13:34.960 deserved this. 0:13:35.040 --> 0:13:36.960 He cheated on me for seven years, cheated on me 0:13:37.080 --> 0:13:37.839 for many years. 0:13:38.160 --> 0:13:41.520 I posted a whole heap of things on gum Tree, 0:13:41.559 --> 0:13:43.880 so basically I can't even remember what it was that 0:13:43.920 --> 0:13:45.360 I said I was giving away. I think I said 0:13:45.360 --> 0:13:47.800 I was giving away a PlayStation, something really dumb, but 0:13:47.840 --> 0:13:49.920 something that I knew would be fast moving. And then 0:13:49.960 --> 0:13:52.120 I put his phone number on it and I said 0:13:52.120 --> 0:13:53.679 it was free and you could come pick it up. 0:13:54.040 --> 0:13:56.640 And he received a million. 0:13:56.320 --> 0:13:58.680 Phone calls as long as that was that one time only, 0:13:58.720 --> 0:14:00.000 And you know I still do it. 0:14:00.440 --> 0:14:01.800 I did. I put one up yesterday. 0:14:03.040 --> 0:14:07.720 It's for content, content purposes, okay. 0:14:07.600 --> 0:14:09.120 Yeah, No, I don't think you're supposed to do that. 0:14:09.240 --> 0:14:11.160 I think it's not okay. I think it's actually quite illegal. 0:14:11.200 --> 0:14:13.640 But you know what statutory what is it called when 0:14:13.679 --> 0:14:14.640 ten years passes? 0:14:14.679 --> 0:14:17.800 And you have said that so many times in these podcasts, 0:14:17.840 --> 0:14:20.040 Laura out herself for something illegal, and she goes, it's 0:14:20.040 --> 0:14:21.640 been ten years. It's the statuary decades. 0:14:23.200 --> 0:14:24.840 It's been ten years. It's fine. I can talk about 0:14:24.840 --> 0:14:25.120 it now. 0:14:25.200 --> 0:14:26.800 And I'm like, Laura, that's that's not a thing. 0:14:27.640 --> 0:14:28.560 I think it is a thing. 0:14:29.000 --> 0:14:31.400 No, it's it's actually genuinely not. It's why people can 0:14:31.400 --> 0:14:34.480 go to prison fifty years later when new evidence comes up. 0:14:34.520 --> 0:14:36.400 It's not a thing. Maybe to stop breaking the law. 0:14:36.600 --> 0:14:39.440 Maybe for things like murder, it's not a thing. But 0:14:39.480 --> 0:14:41.480 for petty crimes, I reckon, it's a thing. 0:14:41.920 --> 0:14:44.320 You can't just rap. Okay, I'm not having this argument 0:14:44.360 --> 0:14:46.400 with you on air, but your going to prison. Okay. 0:14:46.600 --> 0:14:49.760 So I the only thing I've ever done. And when 0:14:49.800 --> 0:14:51.880 I say this out loud, I realize howpathetic I am. 0:14:52.160 --> 0:14:54.680 And I think I've said before I don't hold grudges 0:14:54.720 --> 0:14:57.000 and I'm not a petty person like I remember the 0:14:57.080 --> 0:14:59.320 sociopath crazy person that was cheating on me for two 0:14:59.360 --> 0:15:01.520 years and had a double. I thought this was like 0:15:01.520 --> 0:15:03.800 the best revenge ever. I just went to his house 0:15:03.840 --> 0:15:05.320 and took all his toilet paper. That was it. 0:15:07.680 --> 0:15:09.640 Apathetic, that's so lame. 0:15:09.800 --> 0:15:11.200 But in my head I was like, yeah, next time 0:15:11.200 --> 0:15:12.960 he does a shit, he's gonna have no toilet paper. 0:15:13.080 --> 0:15:14.960 That's howpathetic I am. Yeah. I mean, if this happened 0:15:15.000 --> 0:15:17.200 through COVID, I would say like, well played. But it's 0:15:17.240 --> 0:15:18.840 been ten years now, I still break into his house 0:15:18.840 --> 0:15:19.400 and take you to it. 0:15:19.920 --> 0:15:22.000 Okay, do you know I will say someone once got 0:15:22.040 --> 0:15:25.200 a petty revenge on me, So yeah, I don't know 0:15:25.240 --> 0:15:28.560 who it was though. So after the Bachelor finished, it 0:15:28.640 --> 0:15:32.240 was Britt. After the Bachelor finished, and I was living 0:15:32.480 --> 0:15:34.040 like Matt and I we were together, but we weren't 0:15:34.040 --> 0:15:37.000 actually together. He was, you know, living elsewhere we couldn't 0:15:37.040 --> 0:15:40.520 be seen publicly. I got this delivery to my house. 0:15:40.840 --> 0:15:42.240 I kind of think it was my ex boyfriend. But 0:15:43.960 --> 0:15:46.520 let's not accuse people. I got a delivery to my 0:15:46.560 --> 0:15:49.720 house and it was a package and I opened it 0:15:50.000 --> 0:15:52.440 and it was a kilo of glitter. 0:15:52.520 --> 0:15:55.720 Dix, I remember what you have sent me? A fucking 0:15:55.880 --> 0:15:57.240 kilo of glitter. 0:15:57.320 --> 0:15:59.600 So when I opened it, it exploded and there were 0:15:59.640 --> 0:16:01.320 little tiny dicks of glitter? 0:16:01.640 --> 0:16:04.080 Was it definitely to you? Like, did you check that 0:16:04.120 --> 0:16:04.840 it was Laura Burn? 0:16:05.000 --> 0:16:06.360 Yes, Laura Burn? 0:16:06.520 --> 0:16:08.600 And then it was like, you know, it was packaged 0:16:08.680 --> 0:16:10.400 up like a gift and I was like, oh my god, 0:16:11.000 --> 0:16:13.240 I'm like, people love me And I opened it and 0:16:13.360 --> 0:16:15.880 a bag of glitten dicks explow to load my house. 0:16:16.120 --> 0:16:18.520 Don't you think that's more something maybe one of the 0:16:18.560 --> 0:16:20.240 other girls in the house would have done than your 0:16:20.320 --> 0:16:22.560 ex boyfriend, because I don't know, maybe if you were 0:16:22.600 --> 0:16:24.120 the winner of the batch, was there someone you had 0:16:24.120 --> 0:16:26.360 beef with that would think that? Because that's not a 0:16:26.400 --> 0:16:28.440 manly thing to do, right, But like it's a very 0:16:28.680 --> 0:16:30.760 it's a very female thing to do. 0:16:31.000 --> 0:16:32.840 I mean, yes, it could have been one of the 0:16:32.840 --> 0:16:35.360 girls and just looked it. I never thought of that, 0:16:38.840 --> 0:16:39.200 all right. 0:16:39.280 --> 0:16:41.240 We asked you guys what some of your petty things were. 0:16:41.280 --> 0:16:43.080 There are a couple of funny ones. I chose an 0:16:43.160 --> 0:16:45.200 ugly photo of someone I worked with that I didn't 0:16:45.280 --> 0:16:46.479 like for the group presentation. 0:16:47.280 --> 0:16:48.720 Oh that's the fine. 0:16:49.160 --> 0:16:51.920 No, if any of us put photos of each other, 0:16:51.960 --> 0:16:53.400 we're like, why did you guys put that up? You 0:16:53.440 --> 0:16:55.680 can't put ugly for a group presentation that goes around 0:16:55.760 --> 0:16:57.920 your whole workplace, like and. 0:16:57.760 --> 0:17:00.520 You can't, but you cared. Okay, I used my card 0:17:00.600 --> 0:17:02.800 or my uber eats for months and months. He eventually 0:17:02.840 --> 0:17:08.120 realized and messaged me, and I just denied it. Oh wait, 0:17:08.160 --> 0:17:11.520 this is good. I poured glitter onto the ceiling fan blades. 0:17:12.240 --> 0:17:13.320 That's fucking great. 0:17:13.400 --> 0:17:17.120 Oh no, that's fucking it's so good that she's never 0:17:17.160 --> 0:17:17.640 coming out. 0:17:17.800 --> 0:17:20.360 That's actually amazing. I'm gonna use that. 0:17:20.880 --> 0:17:24.080 Edited my ex's hinge profile settings to over sixty years 0:17:24.119 --> 0:17:27.480 old and one hundred kilometers away. That's so dumb. He's 0:17:27.520 --> 0:17:28.440 gonna figure that out. 0:17:28.560 --> 0:17:29.040 What was it? 0:17:29.480 --> 0:17:32.840 She went hacked into her boyfriend, her ex boyfriend's hinge profile, 0:17:32.920 --> 0:17:35.000 and she set the settings to us looking for over 0:17:35.080 --> 0:17:38.440 sixty years old one hundred k I mean like that, 0:17:38.560 --> 0:17:41.119 when the granny's a turning up, you're gonna realize your 0:17:41.160 --> 0:17:43.840 settings on a bit of a mishap, right, Yeah. 0:17:43.640 --> 0:17:45.640 But also like that's only gonna last. Okay, I need 0:17:45.680 --> 0:17:48.080 like the long term pettiness. Okay, it's actually all too cute. 0:17:48.080 --> 0:17:49.240 You guys are too nice. 0:17:49.400 --> 0:17:52.000 I reported my ex boyfriend for lying on his tax return. 0:17:52.359 --> 0:17:54.560 Good. I mean in prison, so hectic. 0:17:54.720 --> 0:17:57.240 A girl I no canceled another girl's makeup booking for 0:17:57.320 --> 0:17:58.880 her formal as revenge. 0:17:59.040 --> 0:18:00.000 That's fucking savage. 0:18:00.480 --> 0:18:03.119 Would you do? You're not listening, you're reading I was written. 0:18:03.119 --> 0:18:06.359 The next one she called up and canceled her makeup 0:18:06.400 --> 0:18:08.520 booking just before her formal. 0:18:08.880 --> 0:18:12.080 Your mole, what does she do? You can't fucking do that. 0:18:12.640 --> 0:18:13.640 To someone on their wedding day. 0:18:13.640 --> 0:18:16.240 That's worse. I dropped one hundred and fifty keys all 0:18:16.320 --> 0:18:20.720 over Melbourne. Each tag said if found, please call this number, 0:18:20.760 --> 0:18:23.000 and it was her excess number. Do you know what? Look? 0:18:23.080 --> 0:18:25.560 That one is fine, But I think a way more 0:18:25.600 --> 0:18:27.840 cost effective way of doing it is just putting an 0:18:27.880 --> 0:18:30.640 add up on gum Tree. Multiples cost you nothing. It's 0:18:30.680 --> 0:18:33.359 free and there's you know, it goes out to more people. 0:18:33.119 --> 0:18:35.120 Totally because otherwise you have to buy one hundred hundred 0:18:35.119 --> 0:18:35.840 and fifty keys. 0:18:35.680 --> 0:18:38.160 That's actually like such an expensive revenge plot. 0:18:38.240 --> 0:18:40.000 This is so funny. I told my friend the wrong 0:18:40.000 --> 0:18:41.919 brand of perfume I was wearing so she wouldn't buy 0:18:41.960 --> 0:18:46.399 the same one. That is so petty. She's gonna know 0:18:46.440 --> 0:18:48.080 when you buy that, and she's like, this doesn't hit 0:18:48.119 --> 0:18:48.520 the same. 0:18:48.640 --> 0:18:50.840 Also, I do understand though, you know when you've bought 0:18:50.840 --> 0:18:52.479 something and you really love it, and your friend's like, oh, 0:18:52.520 --> 0:18:53.159 where did you get that? 0:18:53.200 --> 0:18:54.320 I want to go and get it, and you're. 0:18:54.160 --> 0:18:56.120 Like, fuck, I just want to stop buying the. 0:18:56.080 --> 0:18:58.639 Things that I like. It's annoying these guys. 0:18:58.680 --> 0:19:00.040 You guys are Actually. 0:19:00.960 --> 0:19:03.640 My ex was really organized and extremely obsessive about things 0:19:03.720 --> 0:19:05.359 being in the right place. I took all of his 0:19:05.480 --> 0:19:07.600 DVDs out of their cases and I put each one 0:19:07.640 --> 0:19:08.560 into another case. 0:19:09.000 --> 0:19:10.960 That's really funny and would be really annoying. That's really 0:19:11.000 --> 0:19:13.800 annoying y, especially if you have like two hundred DVDs. 0:19:13.920 --> 0:19:15.440 Remember when you used to go to Berlin and get 0:19:15.440 --> 0:19:17.720 all the pirated DVDs and you used to come home 0:19:17.960 --> 0:19:19.639 like you were the coolest kid in school if you 0:19:19.640 --> 0:19:22.080 came home with like a thousand pirate DVDs. 0:19:22.119 --> 0:19:24.119 We had three cases of them because my mum went 0:19:24.160 --> 0:19:26.360 over there this one year and literally spent one thousand 0:19:26.359 --> 0:19:27.119 dollars on DVD. 0:19:27.200 --> 0:19:30.240 So we had every DVD that you could ever possibly. 0:19:29.840 --> 0:19:33.040 Imagine, and it was like living It was like living 0:19:33.040 --> 0:19:34.040 inside video Easy. 0:19:34.200 --> 0:19:39.080 Yeah. Yeah, I got a friend a book titled A 0:19:39.160 --> 0:19:41.720 Guide to Kindness for her birthday. 0:19:42.400 --> 0:19:45.000 Oh, if you need to be petty towards your friends, 0:19:45.000 --> 0:19:46.160 you probably should just get You. 0:19:46.160 --> 0:19:48.560 Don't be friends, so don't give them a guide to 0:19:48.680 --> 0:19:49.760 how to be a better person. 0:19:50.000 --> 0:19:51.600 You could start there and then you could end with 0:19:51.600 --> 0:19:56.720 getting your friends. Anyway, let's get into our vibes and unsubscribes. Now. 0:19:56.760 --> 0:20:00.639 My vibe for the week is very u what's the 0:20:00.680 --> 0:20:05.919 word vibe? It's basic pitch vibes. The reason why is 0:20:05.920 --> 0:20:08.320 because I'm vibing a makeup that's been around for forever, 0:20:08.560 --> 0:20:09.800 but I've just rediscovered it. 0:20:09.800 --> 0:20:12.439 Okay, I'm actually gonna vibe two, so I'm vibing. 0:20:12.520 --> 0:20:15.240 Okay, I'm vibing the Face and Body from Mac Cosmetics. 0:20:15.800 --> 0:20:17.880 I used to use this when I was nineteen twenty, 0:20:18.080 --> 0:20:19.960 like all through my twenties, and I was dewey and 0:20:20.000 --> 0:20:27.720 I was youthful, and I thought that that was the thought. 0:20:22.680 --> 0:20:30.840 That's all. We are not letting anything through the kiva today. 0:20:30.840 --> 0:20:34.399 I was so mad to each other soon in a 0:20:34.480 --> 0:20:35.200 stupid mood. 0:20:35.280 --> 0:20:37.359 I was very youthful, and I thought it was my 0:20:37.400 --> 0:20:39.359 skin back then, but apparently it was the face and 0:20:39.400 --> 0:20:41.560 body makeup that I was using. So I used to 0:20:41.640 --> 0:20:44.320 use it religiously, as one would suggest from the name 0:20:44.440 --> 0:20:46.280 of Face and Body makeup. You can use it on 0:20:46.320 --> 0:20:48.600 your body. Great, on your legs. I've been using it 0:20:48.640 --> 0:20:50.679 all through the live show on my legs. Oh you've 0:20:50.720 --> 0:20:52.679 been keeping that one a secret. Yeah, and he's sharing 0:20:52.720 --> 0:20:55.159 it with me. Everyone's body. Everyone's been saying like, oh 0:20:55.160 --> 0:20:56.960 my god, you've got such great legs. And I don't 0:20:57.280 --> 0:20:58.919 you saw a photo of me yesterday and I look 0:20:59.000 --> 0:20:59.960 like I've got. 0:21:00.040 --> 0:21:01.280 Nine year old metal as. 0:21:01.119 --> 0:21:03.399 Everyone says, You've got great legs, and everyone's been gone Forritny. 0:21:03.440 --> 0:21:05.640 His legs look dry because you've been keeping the Face 0:21:05.680 --> 0:21:06.960 and Body moisturizer from me. 0:21:07.080 --> 0:21:07.240 Yeah. 0:21:07.240 --> 0:21:09.680 So it's Mac Cosmetics Face and Body. The thing that's 0:21:09.720 --> 0:21:11.679 so good about it is it so it's very watery 0:21:11.720 --> 0:21:13.959 when you first open it, but it coagulates so you 0:21:14.000 --> 0:21:16.600 can make it thicker on your skin, and it reacts 0:21:16.600 --> 0:21:18.760 to air, so it kind of turns into a more 0:21:18.840 --> 0:21:21.919 thicker foundation the more that you let it oxidize in 0:21:21.920 --> 0:21:22.960 the air, if that makes sense. 0:21:23.320 --> 0:21:23.880 I love it. 0:21:23.880 --> 0:21:26.920 It is amazing and I've like rediscovered it and feel 0:21:26.920 --> 0:21:28.840 like I just now have this really deep love affair 0:21:28.920 --> 0:21:31.119 for it. The other thing I want to recommend is 0:21:31.320 --> 0:21:35.359 MC Beauty's their extend muscara. It's like not extend with 0:21:35.359 --> 0:21:36.840 an E, it's like x tend. 0:21:37.080 --> 0:21:38.080 I've got one right now. 0:21:38.200 --> 0:21:41.960 It's a tubular mascara, and it is fucking amazing because 0:21:42.000 --> 0:21:45.040 I'm somebody who anytime I use mascara, I get like 0:21:45.119 --> 0:21:45.640 makeup fool. 0:21:45.680 --> 0:21:47.080 I always get the black under my eyes. 0:21:47.320 --> 0:21:50.040 So the thing with tubular mascara is it's not waterproof, 0:21:50.200 --> 0:21:52.280 but what happens is when you want to take it off, 0:21:52.280 --> 0:21:54.480 you basically wet your lashes and you can pull the 0:21:54.520 --> 0:21:56.600 little tubes off your eyelashes. 0:21:56.760 --> 0:21:59.800 Yea, and like actually just it is what it sounds like, 0:22:00.119 --> 0:22:01.399 sort of grab it, it just comes back and. 0:22:01.400 --> 0:22:02.200 It slides off. 0:22:02.359 --> 0:22:04.960 But it just means if you're someone who's makeup voice smudges, 0:22:05.000 --> 0:22:07.240 it doesn't do that. So it kind of works like 0:22:07.359 --> 0:22:09.960 a waterproof a scar without making your eyelashes dry like 0:22:09.960 --> 0:22:11.760 a waterproof and scar. It is a game changer. I 0:22:11.880 --> 0:22:13.000 highly recommend. 0:22:12.720 --> 0:22:15.640 Great good vibes. Thank you, okay guys, so they won't 0:22:15.640 --> 0:22:18.600 say basic bitch after all? No, that feel great, very makeupy, 0:22:19.040 --> 0:22:21.480 beauty ish, which we don't often get from you facebody 0:22:21.480 --> 0:22:26.959 and eyes. Yeah. FB Okay, my vibe this week is 0:22:27.040 --> 0:22:29.600 a book, a book series for all those readers. Now, 0:22:29.600 --> 0:22:32.960 there's three books in the series. It is called The 0:22:33.000 --> 0:22:36.919 Bronze Horseman by somebody called Paulina Simmons. That's who's written by, 0:22:37.200 --> 0:22:39.160 not by the author, just by somebody a woman who 0:22:39.160 --> 0:22:42.320 happens to be the author named Paulina Simmons The Bronze Horsemen. 0:22:42.440 --> 0:22:45.560 So it's a trilogy. I have two book series in 0:22:45.600 --> 0:22:49.879 my life that have literally completely consumed and engulfed me, 0:22:49.920 --> 0:22:52.119 and I have become obsessed with. This is one of them. 0:22:52.160 --> 0:22:55.399 One was Outlander by Diana Gabaldon sam Hughan. We know it, 0:22:55.440 --> 0:22:56.840 I've talked about it. I've read it when I was 0:22:56.920 --> 0:22:59.760 nineteen twenty. I also read The Bronze Horseman when I 0:22:59.760 --> 0:23:03.359 was twenty. Like, so I found this series after I 0:23:03.520 --> 0:23:05.720 read the Outlander and I felt like I was lost. 0:23:05.720 --> 0:23:07.600 Have you ever you know when you finish a series, 0:23:07.600 --> 0:23:10.840 book or TV and it's so consuming that you're like, 0:23:10.880 --> 0:23:12.479 what do I do with my life? Now? That's what 0:23:12.520 --> 0:23:15.439 these books do, right. So I've reread The Bronze Horseman 0:23:15.520 --> 0:23:17.919 now because it's been fifteen years and I loved it 0:23:17.960 --> 0:23:20.040 as much as I did then now, I don't like 0:23:20.600 --> 0:23:23.359 war books as such, but it is set in nineteen 0:23:23.400 --> 0:23:25.520 forty one. It's set in the World War over in 0:23:25.880 --> 0:23:29.320 Leningrad in Russia. It's not a book about war. It 0:23:29.400 --> 0:23:32.960 is a love story between these two people, Tatiana and Alexander. 0:23:32.960 --> 0:23:38.359 They're the two characters. It is just the most incredible, beautiful, 0:23:38.920 --> 0:23:42.160 heart stopping love story. And the writing is so incredible, 0:23:42.359 --> 0:23:45.760 and the characters are made up, but it's all very 0:23:45.840 --> 0:23:48.640 historical and factual, so you're learning something at the same time, 0:23:48.680 --> 0:23:50.560 but obviously the characters that are in that time are 0:23:50.600 --> 0:23:52.720 made up. I can't recommend it enough. Sherry, my sister 0:23:52.760 --> 0:23:55.359 and I just we both felt the same way about it, 0:23:55.400 --> 0:23:57.439 and I reckon you'd probably love it, Laura, but it 0:23:57.520 --> 0:24:00.159 is three books, so you do need to like have 0:24:00.200 --> 0:24:01.199 that time to settle in. 0:24:01.680 --> 0:24:01.960 Yeah. 0:24:02.000 --> 0:24:03.679 I love that we've both recommended stuff from when we 0:24:03.680 --> 0:24:04.480 were nineteen years old. 0:24:04.560 --> 0:24:06.240 Well, no, because I've reread it. A lot of the 0:24:06.240 --> 0:24:09.359 books I've been reading lately have been very, very nothing 0:24:09.560 --> 0:24:12.439 really great, like teenage love story novels, you know, the 0:24:12.480 --> 0:24:16.800 things that are just like just fluffy, sugary, fluffy, great sex, love, cute, whatever. 0:24:17.080 --> 0:24:20.320 But this is a book that will just hit different. 0:24:20.359 --> 0:24:22.440 I promise, So if you are a reader or you're 0:24:22.440 --> 0:24:26.280 looking for something the bronze horseman pulling the Simmons question 0:24:26.359 --> 0:24:30.479 number one, please help. I am getting married in three weeks, 0:24:30.600 --> 0:24:32.800 and I swear to God, I don't know if I'm 0:24:32.800 --> 0:24:35.920 getting the normal cold feet or legitimately getting the ick. 0:24:36.480 --> 0:24:38.879 My partner has never been good when comforting me or 0:24:38.880 --> 0:24:41.040 saying the right things if I'm upset or going through 0:24:41.040 --> 0:24:44.720 something difficult. Today I had a really bad day. Long 0:24:44.760 --> 0:24:46.880 story short, I have peak cosse going on one year. 0:24:46.920 --> 0:24:48.800 I had a horrible day with my symptoms, and my 0:24:48.880 --> 0:24:52.359 parents told me our family dog has untreatable cancer and 0:24:52.440 --> 0:24:54.520 doesn't know how long she has left to live. So yeah, 0:24:54.560 --> 0:24:57.640 she had a really hard day. I'm obviously very defeated 0:24:57.680 --> 0:25:00.320 and was always stressed out, but the news really upse me. 0:25:00.600 --> 0:25:03.000 All I wanted to do was go and tell him everything, 0:25:03.160 --> 0:25:05.560 get a hug, I kiss, some comfort, and talk it 0:25:05.600 --> 0:25:07.919 through with someone I love. But when I told him 0:25:07.920 --> 0:25:11.720 about my dog, all he said was oh, sad, and then, 0:25:11.760 --> 0:25:15.119 after an awkward silence of five seconds, said so what 0:25:15.160 --> 0:25:18.800 should we have for dinner? I then went to the 0:25:18.800 --> 0:25:21.199 shower to cry. Alone because I was so baffled by 0:25:21.200 --> 0:25:23.680 his response. Do I need to talk to him about 0:25:23.680 --> 0:25:26.320 his lack of empathy and feelings around something like this, 0:25:26.480 --> 0:25:29.080 or he maybe just not as attached as I am, 0:25:29.440 --> 0:25:32.200 and he didn't realize how upset I was, even though 0:25:32.240 --> 0:25:35.280 I told him, I don't know we're going to get married, 0:25:35.320 --> 0:25:38.040 and I know your partner can't be everything all the time. 0:25:38.320 --> 0:25:40.920 Maybe some people just go to friends or family for 0:25:40.960 --> 0:25:43.439 these things instead. But am I wrong for being salty 0:25:43.480 --> 0:25:46.120 and slamming all the doors in my house right now? No, 0:25:46.160 --> 0:25:47.919 you're not wrong for being salty. 0:25:48.040 --> 0:25:50.359 I think running around slamming doors is probably not the 0:25:50.359 --> 0:25:53.280 best way of I mean probably definitely not the best 0:25:53.320 --> 0:25:57.160 way of communicating that you're upset. He might not realize 0:25:57.400 --> 0:26:00.560 that he's the reason why you feel angry, not just upset. 0:26:00.720 --> 0:26:04.399 He might not realize that he didn't provide comfort for 0:26:04.440 --> 0:26:07.040 you in that moment to the level of which you needed. 0:26:07.280 --> 0:26:08.639 Now should he have realized that? 0:26:08.720 --> 0:26:08.880 Yeah? 0:26:09.000 --> 0:26:11.960 Sure. We always hope that our partners are aware and 0:26:12.080 --> 0:26:15.360 perceptive enough and can understand are heard enough, especially when 0:26:15.400 --> 0:26:17.520 we've said it to them, that they're going to respond 0:26:17.560 --> 0:26:19.080 in a way that's going to make us feel completely 0:26:19.119 --> 0:26:21.840 validated and understood. I think it's like that feeling when 0:26:22.119 --> 0:26:24.160 when your partner doesn't meet you where you need to be. 0:26:24.119 --> 0:26:25.640 Met, you feel like they don't know you. 0:26:25.440 --> 0:26:27.879 You feel like you don't even understand how I'm feeling, 0:26:27.920 --> 0:26:29.640 which makes you feel further away from them. 0:26:30.040 --> 0:26:31.600 But I definitely think you need to speak to him. 0:26:31.960 --> 0:26:35.040 The only thing, though, is that maybe makes me want 0:26:35.040 --> 0:26:38.000 to question things a little bit, is that relationships are 0:26:38.040 --> 0:26:41.200 easy when things are good right, Relationships when everything's coasting 0:26:41.240 --> 0:26:44.960 and you're having a great time. Relationships are easy. It's 0:26:44.960 --> 0:26:47.439 in the moments that are really challenging. It's in the 0:26:47.480 --> 0:26:51.399 moments where there is heartbreak, there is tragedy, there is grief, 0:26:51.840 --> 0:26:55.760 that there is loss. They're the moments where people really 0:26:55.760 --> 0:26:57.720 show you who they are and they really show you 0:26:57.800 --> 0:27:00.680 how they can support you. And I mean, he may 0:27:00.840 --> 0:27:02.879 have not realized that you were as attached to your 0:27:02.880 --> 0:27:04.639 family dog, and he may not see it as a 0:27:04.680 --> 0:27:07.000 bigger thing. He might react very different if there was 0:27:07.040 --> 0:27:08.480 a loss of a person or if there was some 0:27:08.560 --> 0:27:11.879 other emotional tragedy that you're going through. He might not 0:27:11.960 --> 0:27:15.760 see those things as being similar. But I would hope 0:27:15.760 --> 0:27:17.720 that in the instance that you're going through something that 0:27:17.720 --> 0:27:21.200 you're really struggling with. He would have the emotional empathy 0:27:21.280 --> 0:27:23.119 and the ability to get on your level and to 0:27:23.119 --> 0:27:24.880 support you in a way that you need to be supported, 0:27:24.920 --> 0:27:28.919 because if this becomes repeated behavior, that space between how 0:27:29.440 --> 0:27:32.520 disconnected you feel is only going to get bigger and bigger. 0:27:32.960 --> 0:27:36.040 I agree, and I do agree with this girl saying 0:27:36.119 --> 0:27:38.160 I understand your partner can't be everything all the time, 0:27:38.480 --> 0:27:41.920 and that's completely accurate. But in my eyes, one thing 0:27:41.960 --> 0:27:44.440 that your partner should be is be able to comfort you, 0:27:44.480 --> 0:27:47.520 like when you go through something. I feel like that's 0:27:47.520 --> 0:27:49.800 almost I want to say, like the non negotiable of 0:27:49.840 --> 0:27:52.399 what they have in the relationship, Like, yes, they can't 0:27:52.400 --> 0:27:55.440 be your best friend and your employee and your husband 0:27:55.560 --> 0:27:59.000 and your spiritual leader and give you emotional things you need, 0:27:59.040 --> 0:28:00.840 and they can't do everything right and be a lover 0:28:01.000 --> 0:28:03.840 but be a sensitive lover but also be the chemistry 0:28:03.920 --> 0:28:07.280 sexy time lover like one hundred percent. You cannot have 0:28:07.359 --> 0:28:10.320 it all, But for me, being there in a tough 0:28:10.359 --> 0:28:12.480 time is one of those things that every partner should 0:28:12.520 --> 0:28:13.959 be able to do. It's like one of the basics. 0:28:14.000 --> 0:28:15.720 It's like the TiO hundred percent. It's the foundation. 0:28:15.960 --> 0:28:17.760 You don't need your partner to do everything for you, 0:28:17.840 --> 0:28:20.960 but that is literally one of the basic foundation things 0:28:20.960 --> 0:28:22.199 that you expect them to do for you. 0:28:22.320 --> 0:28:24.720 Yeah, it's like the bread and butter of the relationship totally. 0:28:24.760 --> 0:28:27.360 So my only thing I do want to say here 0:28:27.480 --> 0:28:31.960 is if you are not communicating how upset you are 0:28:32.080 --> 0:28:34.400 to him, and you're not communicating that, he's not giving 0:28:34.440 --> 0:28:37.080 you what you need, he doesn't know. So if you 0:28:37.359 --> 0:28:40.920 have had this moment with him where you've said you're upset, 0:28:41.520 --> 0:28:43.520 but then you guys went on to talk about dinner 0:28:43.560 --> 0:28:46.160 and then you removed yourself to cry alone in the shower, 0:28:46.200 --> 0:28:48.280 so he didn't see, and you have said, I don't know. 0:28:48.280 --> 0:28:50.040 If he knows how upset I am, then he's not 0:28:50.080 --> 0:28:51.800 gonna know. Like you have to give him a little 0:28:51.800 --> 0:28:54.880 bit of grace in that sense. It's different if you 0:28:54.960 --> 0:28:57.320 break down crying to him and you're telling him and 0:28:57.360 --> 0:29:00.840 you're emotionally laying it all out and he responds that way, 0:29:00.920 --> 0:29:02.800 that's very different. Like if you're seeing, I need more 0:29:02.800 --> 0:29:05.160 from you and look how upset I am and he's like, babe, 0:29:05.160 --> 0:29:07.959 what's for dinner, that's completely different. So My first thing 0:29:07.960 --> 0:29:09.960 I'm gonna say is just let him know because they're 0:29:09.960 --> 0:29:12.800 not mind readers. Women aren't mind readers either. We're better 0:29:12.840 --> 0:29:15.680 at it than men for sure, but men aren't mind readers. 0:29:15.680 --> 0:29:17.960 So make sure you're communicating that with him, and then 0:29:18.000 --> 0:29:20.920 go from there and then say, I really need more 0:29:20.960 --> 0:29:23.320 from you in these moments like moving forward as well, 0:29:23.400 --> 0:29:26.200 and if it doesn't come naturally, you need to consciously 0:29:26.240 --> 0:29:27.280 try to provide it for me. 0:29:27.360 --> 0:29:29.400 Yeah, and you can say, you know, the reason why 0:29:29.440 --> 0:29:31.920 I felt like you weren't there for me is because 0:29:32.280 --> 0:29:33.600 you know, you said, oh, that's sad, and then you 0:29:33.640 --> 0:29:35.960 asked what's for dinner, like you didn't give me a hug. 0:29:36.080 --> 0:29:38.560 I needed physical affection in that moment. These are the 0:29:38.600 --> 0:29:42.000 things I need from you. I definitely agree with everything 0:29:42.040 --> 0:29:44.240 you said, Britt. I think that sometimes we expect our 0:29:44.280 --> 0:29:46.000 partners to be able to read our minds a little 0:29:46.000 --> 0:29:48.600 bit too much, and we expect that they should instantly 0:29:48.720 --> 0:29:54.840 know what we require of them intuitively know and sometimes 0:29:54.840 --> 0:29:57.680 they do, and sometimes they can really surprise us, and 0:29:57.840 --> 0:30:00.960 oftentimes they don't, and it can make you feel super disconnected. 0:30:01.000 --> 0:30:03.320 So that does come down to the conversation part of it. 0:30:03.600 --> 0:30:04.960 The only thing I do want to say is and 0:30:05.160 --> 0:30:06.840 I mean, I don't know if it's completely relevant to 0:30:06.880 --> 0:30:10.320 this specific situation, but it is something that's stuck with 0:30:10.400 --> 0:30:13.800 me off the back of when we interviewed Mark Groves years. 0:30:13.600 --> 0:30:15.440 Ago, Mark grows from Create the Love. 0:30:15.720 --> 0:30:17.920 Yes, Mark grows from Create the Love. We have an 0:30:17.920 --> 0:30:20.240 episode with him not link in the show notes, because 0:30:20.480 --> 0:30:22.320 we did that just before I'd gotten married. It was 0:30:22.360 --> 0:30:24.840 such an eye opener in terms of like how I 0:30:24.920 --> 0:30:27.520 want my relationships to be. And one thing he said, 0:30:27.560 --> 0:30:31.000 so Mark, he called off an engagement prior to getting married. 0:30:31.360 --> 0:30:33.960 He was in his twenties and he was getting married 0:30:34.000 --> 0:30:35.720 because he felt like that that was the next stage 0:30:35.760 --> 0:30:38.080 of what his relationship was at and what he thought 0:30:38.080 --> 0:30:40.800 he needed to do. And then he had this realization 0:30:40.840 --> 0:30:43.760 that he didn't want to get married to that person, 0:30:43.800 --> 0:30:45.440 not that he never wanted to get married in life, 0:30:45.440 --> 0:30:48.280 but that that person wasn't his right person. And he 0:30:48.360 --> 0:30:50.560 said that often we get told that you're supposed to 0:30:50.600 --> 0:30:54.080 have these feelings of doubt pre marriage, Like we've been 0:30:54.200 --> 0:30:58.240 sold this idea that it's normal to have quote unquote 0:30:58.240 --> 0:31:01.400 cold feet. Yes, for some people, it is normal to 0:31:01.520 --> 0:31:03.800 feel a little bit anxious about the fact that you're 0:31:03.840 --> 0:31:06.480 doing something that you've never done before. Right, there's a 0:31:06.560 --> 0:31:10.080 little bit of anxiousness, is okay. But if you're going 0:31:10.120 --> 0:31:14.640 into getting married terrified or second guessing yourself the ick, 0:31:15.000 --> 0:31:19.600 feeling the ick, those are not normal reactions to getting married. 0:31:19.640 --> 0:31:23.120 You should not be going into marriage feeling this incredible 0:31:23.160 --> 0:31:26.720 pull that it is the wrong thing, or questioning yourself 0:31:26.760 --> 0:31:29.720 so much that they're not your person. If that's how 0:31:29.760 --> 0:31:32.880 you're feeling, you need to unpack that before getting married. 0:31:32.920 --> 0:31:35.680 And I think that's some very honest conversations with your partner, 0:31:35.840 --> 0:31:38.360 not necessarily around how you're feeling about having the ick, 0:31:38.400 --> 0:31:41.320 because that's pretty damning, but the things that have led 0:31:41.360 --> 0:31:43.000 you to feel like you have the ick, to make 0:31:43.040 --> 0:31:45.239 sure that you are on the same page, because if 0:31:45.240 --> 0:31:47.320 you're not on the same page before getting married, you're 0:31:47.320 --> 0:31:48.960 certainly not going to be on the same page after 0:31:48.960 --> 0:31:52.000 you're married, because it doesn't change the relationship, it just 0:31:52.040 --> 0:31:53.040 makes it harder to leave. 0:31:53.360 --> 0:31:55.480 Yeah. Also, the i's pretty hard to reverse, Like, once 0:31:55.480 --> 0:31:56.840 you're in it, you're in it, so don't let it 0:31:56.880 --> 0:31:59.400 get that far. Oh I imagine about to get married though, 0:31:59.400 --> 0:32:02.160 and you feel like that, like three weeks away, You're 0:32:02.160 --> 0:32:02.640 not meant to. 0:32:02.760 --> 0:32:05.840 I genuinely think a little cold feet, A little bit 0:32:05.880 --> 0:32:10.480 of cold feet, fine, an overwhelming feeling of this is. 0:32:10.480 --> 0:32:12.400 Not right, is not normal. 0:32:12.760 --> 0:32:15.040 It's not You should not go into getting married terrified 0:32:15.400 --> 0:32:17.800 or having the fucking dick or feeling like what am 0:32:17.840 --> 0:32:21.080 I doing? Yeah, because if you're feeling that, that's not normal. 0:32:21.400 --> 0:32:25.440 Okay, sorry, just getting passionate about it. Question number two. 0:32:26.760 --> 0:32:28.880 I'm twenty two and I have been in a relationship 0:32:28.920 --> 0:32:31.920 for almost two years and I love him very much. 0:32:32.440 --> 0:32:35.239 We live together and have traveled all over together. He 0:32:35.320 --> 0:32:40.240 truly is my person. The only issue is he's starting 0:32:40.280 --> 0:32:43.280 to go bold, both at the back and the front. 0:32:44.040 --> 0:32:46.880 How do I broach this subject without making him feel 0:32:46.880 --> 0:32:49.440 bad about it and to open up the discussion so 0:32:49.480 --> 0:32:53.640 that he doesn't feel like I'm attacking his looks? You don't, 0:32:53.720 --> 0:32:56.840 you don't, you don't, you don't. No, you buy him 0:32:56.840 --> 0:32:59.160 a beanie, no jog, that's a bad job. 0:32:59.400 --> 0:33:02.400 I find it's such interesting thing, right, And I say 0:33:02.440 --> 0:33:07.080 this because when I was younger, I would have like 0:33:07.160 --> 0:33:09.240 much like younger I'm talking like in my early twenties, 0:33:09.560 --> 0:33:11.480 I would have made like the bald jokes. I would 0:33:11.480 --> 0:33:15.360 have been like, oh, but now I understand just how 0:33:15.400 --> 0:33:18.760 problematic it is and how it is the exact same 0:33:19.040 --> 0:33:21.920 as saying making fun of a woman for putting on weight, 0:33:22.080 --> 0:33:24.520 or a woman for I don't know, getting acne, or 0:33:24.800 --> 0:33:28.480 it's the same as any other type of physical change 0:33:28.600 --> 0:33:32.160 that you don't necessarily have control over or care about, like, well, 0:33:32.280 --> 0:33:34.920 kind of change who you are totally why I don't 0:33:34.960 --> 0:33:36.840 know why you need to bring it to his attention. 0:33:37.160 --> 0:33:39.480 I also think like he knows, Yeah, there's a. 0:33:41.120 --> 0:33:43.440 Totally there's a really good chance he knows. And I 0:33:43.440 --> 0:33:46.520 think sometimes when it comes to baldness with men, because 0:33:46.560 --> 0:33:48.400 it's men, we think it's okay to make fun of 0:33:48.440 --> 0:33:50.560 like we're like, oh, whatever, you know, But we would 0:33:50.600 --> 0:33:52.520 be so up in arms if a man was to 0:33:52.520 --> 0:33:54.440 make fun of a woman, or it was to say, 0:33:54.720 --> 0:33:57.440 like if this question was, Hey, my girlfriend's put on 0:33:57.480 --> 0:33:59.280 a bit of weight and I really want to just 0:33:59.400 --> 0:34:00.920 you know, I don't know the right way is to 0:34:00.920 --> 0:34:02.400 point it out to her that I want her to know, 0:34:02.560 --> 0:34:04.000 but like I don't want her to feel like I'm 0:34:04.000 --> 0:34:04.680 attacking her. 0:34:05.040 --> 0:34:07.160 We would say, fucking shut up. 0:34:07.200 --> 0:34:08.719 There is no way you can say that to her, 0:34:08.800 --> 0:34:11.200 and also like, why is this something that's become a 0:34:11.200 --> 0:34:12.520 problem within your relationship? 0:34:12.760 --> 0:34:12.920 Now. 0:34:12.960 --> 0:34:14.080 I don't want to go as hard on. 0:34:14.000 --> 0:34:16.759 You because I appreciate that you've written it in, but 0:34:16.800 --> 0:34:20.040 I do want you to question why is it that 0:34:20.080 --> 0:34:22.359 we feel like it's okay to comment on the way 0:34:22.360 --> 0:34:24.560 a man looks, especially when it comes to baldness, because 0:34:24.560 --> 0:34:28.000 baldness can be a real moment of insecurity for guys. 0:34:28.040 --> 0:34:31.960 It can be something that they really feel emasculated around, 0:34:32.000 --> 0:34:34.000 and it's something that for a lot of men who 0:34:34.040 --> 0:34:36.759 are bald and who are transitioning to going bald or 0:34:36.800 --> 0:34:40.160 losing hair, that they already feel so self conscious about. 0:34:40.360 --> 0:34:43.839 Look. I do find it interesting that you proceed that 0:34:44.000 --> 0:34:48.200 statement with he truly is my person, but he's going bald. 0:34:48.360 --> 0:34:52.000 I don't understand why that changes anything. What I do 0:34:52.080 --> 0:34:54.879 want to say is just to give a different point 0:34:54.920 --> 0:34:56.839 of view from you, Laura. Everything that you said I 0:34:56.880 --> 0:35:00.120 agree with. The only way I think you can bring 0:35:00.200 --> 0:35:02.239 this up is if he brings it up. If he 0:35:02.280 --> 0:35:04.040 wants to talk about it, you can talk about it, 0:35:04.080 --> 0:35:06.839 but you cannot bring it up. The only other way 0:35:06.880 --> 0:35:10.000 you could bring it up is if he is going 0:35:10.160 --> 0:35:12.560 bald at the back and you think he doesn't know, 0:35:12.880 --> 0:35:15.120 then that's probably something I would tell my partner for sure, 0:35:15.160 --> 0:35:17.040 But that's not a I wouldn't tell my partner that 0:35:17.080 --> 0:35:19.640 as a problem. I'd be like, hey, do you know 0:35:19.719 --> 0:35:22.360 that you're losing some hair there? Like, I think that's okay, 0:35:22.400 --> 0:35:24.239 because if I was going bald at the back of 0:35:24.239 --> 0:35:25.880 my head and I because I can't see it, and 0:35:25.920 --> 0:35:28.200 I don't know, you are going bald at the back 0:35:28.200 --> 0:35:29.399 of your head, I do have a double crown. 0:35:29.440 --> 0:35:31.279 It looks bored every time we get ready for a 0:35:31.320 --> 0:35:33.200 Las show butt and he's like, is my ball spot covered? Yeah? 0:35:33.239 --> 0:35:35.000 Because I could a double Oh guys, if you know 0:35:35.040 --> 0:35:37.399 what a double crown is, it's like a Rhodesian ridge back, 0:35:37.440 --> 0:35:39.840 like where their hair goes a different direction. Anyway, my 0:35:39.920 --> 0:35:42.719 hair does like a cyclone sort of swirly thing, and 0:35:42.760 --> 0:35:44.640 then it looks like I got a ball patch. Anyway, 0:35:44.800 --> 0:35:46.440 if I was actually going bald at the back, I 0:35:46.440 --> 0:35:48.359 would want my partner to tell me if they could 0:35:48.400 --> 0:35:51.440 see it and I had no idea, Sure, tell me, 0:35:51.520 --> 0:35:53.440 don't make it like it's a problem. But it's more 0:35:53.440 --> 0:35:55.920 of a just letting you know in case you didn't. 0:35:56.400 --> 0:35:58.040 You would Lord, don't you shake your head. If you 0:35:58.040 --> 0:36:00.160 were bald at the back and no one told you 0:36:00.080 --> 0:36:03.319 you pissed off, you'd be pissed off. But that has 0:36:03.360 --> 0:36:05.759 to be like a heads up telling you because you 0:36:05.840 --> 0:36:08.120 might not know, but you can't care about it. And 0:36:08.160 --> 0:36:11.239 the only way you can have a discussion because you 0:36:11.280 --> 0:36:14.279 said you need to open up the discussion, like you 0:36:14.320 --> 0:36:15.600 want to open it up, right, So what do you 0:36:15.600 --> 0:36:16.920 want to open up for? You want to open up 0:36:16.920 --> 0:36:19.319 because you think he needs a hair transplant. This is 0:36:19.360 --> 0:36:22.320 a fine to suggest that to him if he says, 0:36:22.840 --> 0:36:26.080 do you know any treatments for going bald? Like if 0:36:26.080 --> 0:36:27.839 he brings that up to you, you can be like, oh, 0:36:27.840 --> 0:36:29.799 this heaps of stuff. Because the other thing is there 0:36:29.840 --> 0:36:32.480 are hair transplants right every second. I know people around 0:36:32.480 --> 0:36:34.680 Sydney that have had them. They're actually quite common now. 0:36:34.760 --> 0:36:37.880 Yeah, but also like that is very that's a very extreme, 0:36:37.920 --> 0:36:39.640 like there's loads of things that you can do prior 0:36:39.640 --> 0:36:42.560 to that, like just rogain. Look, I guess my thing 0:36:42.680 --> 0:36:44.640 is and I don't know if I agree with you, Britt. 0:36:44.920 --> 0:36:46.400 And the reason why I say this is because I 0:36:46.400 --> 0:36:48.319 don't think I would ever bring it up, like if 0:36:48.360 --> 0:36:51.239 I looked at Matt, and I ever thought that there 0:36:51.280 --> 0:36:53.760 was something about him that was changed, you know, like anything. 0:36:54.160 --> 0:36:57.840 If I noticed it, I would not feel compelled to 0:36:57.880 --> 0:36:59.680 point it out to him. And the reason for that 0:36:59.840 --> 0:37:02.440 is even if it came with good intentions, even if 0:37:02.480 --> 0:37:04.880 it was because I thought, maybe he hasn't noticed, and 0:37:04.880 --> 0:37:06.120 I want to tell him that his hair's a bit 0:37:06.160 --> 0:37:07.759 thinner on you know, that maybe he might want to 0:37:07.800 --> 0:37:10.759 do something about it if he hasn't noticed. I don't 0:37:10.800 --> 0:37:13.560 want to be the one responsible for breeding and insecurity 0:37:13.560 --> 0:37:15.640 in the person that I love. I'm not going to 0:37:15.680 --> 0:37:17.759 point it out to them in the same way that 0:37:17.840 --> 0:37:20.440 if Matt turned around and said to me, oh, your 0:37:20.520 --> 0:37:22.720 malasma's gotten a bit darker, babe, have you noticed? 0:37:23.160 --> 0:37:24.080 He would never do it. 0:37:24.160 --> 0:37:28.000 He would never point out something about my body that 0:37:28.560 --> 0:37:31.200 maybe I didn't notice so that I could fix it, 0:37:31.320 --> 0:37:33.840 because that all that does is make people feel so 0:37:34.080 --> 0:37:36.879 fucking insecure, and if you're not already insecure, you soon 0:37:36.920 --> 0:37:37.200 will be. 0:37:37.360 --> 0:37:39.359 Yeah, I'm gonna I mean, we won't agree on this, 0:37:39.440 --> 0:37:41.880 because I do disagree on that. I wouldn't like it 0:37:41.920 --> 0:37:44.040 if he pointed out malasma on my face. But you 0:37:44.080 --> 0:37:47.320 already know that I'm talking specifically about a bald patch 0:37:47.360 --> 0:37:49.720 on the back of your head. And I'm putting myself 0:37:49.719 --> 0:37:52.040 in that position. If I was going bald at the 0:37:52.040 --> 0:37:54.200 back of my head, which I do not see, I 0:37:54.320 --> 0:37:57.520 never see, and no one told me, none of my friends, 0:37:57.680 --> 0:38:00.640 not my partner, like not Ben, I'd be I'd be like, 0:38:00.640 --> 0:38:02.760 how could none of you have told me that? Because 0:38:02.840 --> 0:38:05.440 it's not something that I can see or notice. And 0:38:05.480 --> 0:38:07.799 that's the only way I say that she should bring 0:38:07.840 --> 0:38:10.160 that up. He's gonna know if there's a bald patch 0:38:10.239 --> 0:38:11.600 at the front of his head, you don't have to 0:38:11.600 --> 0:38:14.399 bring that up. But it's like it's highlighting something that 0:38:14.400 --> 0:38:17.840 that person might not know about, that they might actually 0:38:17.880 --> 0:38:20.080 be insecure about because they don't know about it. But 0:38:20.120 --> 0:38:22.120 once they're given that information, they can do something. I 0:38:22.120 --> 0:38:24.440 could do a comover, I could like cha, you know, 0:38:24.600 --> 0:38:26.759 like you can take that into your own hands. But 0:38:26.800 --> 0:38:30.040 you can't approach your partner and be like, hey, you're 0:38:30.040 --> 0:38:32.440 going bold, Let's talk about that, Like I've googled some 0:38:32.480 --> 0:38:34.480 things you can do about it. Let's get you a 0:38:34.560 --> 0:38:37.319 two pay Let's get you to Turkey to get your 0:38:37.320 --> 0:38:39.719 hair transplants. Like you just can't do it totally. 0:38:39.520 --> 0:38:40.960 And I also think it comes down to like the 0:38:40.960 --> 0:38:42.840 type of person that your partner is like and the 0:38:42.880 --> 0:38:45.439 type of relationship that you have, because like, okay, when 0:38:45.440 --> 0:38:48.399 it comes to hair loss, So I dated a guy 0:38:48.440 --> 0:38:50.560 who was losing his hair and he cared and I 0:38:50.680 --> 0:38:52.959 never mentioned it to him. I didn't care, but he 0:38:53.000 --> 0:38:56.279 really cared. So he was using rogaine. Right, So if 0:38:56.320 --> 0:38:59.440 you are losing your hair, the first line of treatment 0:38:59.760 --> 0:39:02.720 is every day treatment. So you can take a pill, 0:39:03.000 --> 0:39:05.680 a capsule which has a thing called like monoxidal in it, 0:39:05.760 --> 0:39:07.920 and then you also use it on your hair, right, 0:39:08.239 --> 0:39:10.879 And it's like a lotion or a roguain or whatever. 0:39:10.880 --> 0:39:11.960 There's many different brands of it. 0:39:12.040 --> 0:39:14.560 But the thing with that is that it's an every 0:39:14.840 --> 0:39:17.920 single day, can't miss a day treatment. Is your partner 0:39:17.960 --> 0:39:19.759 even the type of person who would want to keep 0:39:19.800 --> 0:39:22.040 up that type of upkeep because a lot of people aren't. 0:39:22.239 --> 0:39:23.759 So if you know, like, oh my god, there's no 0:39:23.800 --> 0:39:26.240 way my boyfriend doesn't even wash his hair every week, 0:39:26.520 --> 0:39:29.200 Like if he's never gonna use this product every single day, 0:39:29.280 --> 0:39:31.359 he doesn't care about his looks enough to do something 0:39:31.360 --> 0:39:34.000 that's going to be in every single day process, then 0:39:34.040 --> 0:39:36.239 I think that there's no point. And I guess like 0:39:36.280 --> 0:39:39.240 my big take home from this is that it should 0:39:39.320 --> 0:39:42.040 be insignificant. If you have found the person that you 0:39:42.120 --> 0:39:43.799 want to spend your life with, if you love them 0:39:43.800 --> 0:39:46.040 so much, if they are your penguin, and then you 0:39:46.120 --> 0:39:49.279 find out that their hairline's receding, it truly should be 0:39:49.360 --> 0:39:52.080 something that is absolutely insignificant. In the same way that 0:39:52.719 --> 0:39:54.200 you know if you put on weight, or if your 0:39:54.200 --> 0:39:57.399 body changes, or things start to look different about your 0:39:57.400 --> 0:40:00.480 person as we all look different as we age. They 0:40:00.520 --> 0:40:02.879 should not be big deals, and I guess it's not 0:40:03.320 --> 0:40:06.040 our partner's responsibility to point out the things that they 0:40:06.120 --> 0:40:07.120 think of flaws in us. 0:40:07.280 --> 0:40:11.000 Is how I feel? Amen, all right? Question number three. Recently, 0:40:11.040 --> 0:40:14.480 my dad gave my sister his car roughly worth about 0:40:14.520 --> 0:40:17.640 twenty thousand dollars as he no longer needs the car. 0:40:18.080 --> 0:40:20.520 My sister is a single mum with a good job, 0:40:20.600 --> 0:40:23.800 earning good money. I have two children and a husband. 0:40:24.320 --> 0:40:26.400 When I brought this up with my dad that I 0:40:26.440 --> 0:40:28.480 was a little bit hurt that he gave my sister 0:40:28.560 --> 0:40:32.000 a car and my family didn't get anything, he told 0:40:32.080 --> 0:40:34.319 me he didn't think of the car as money, and 0:40:34.360 --> 0:40:36.960 basically dismiss my feelings as he didn't see it that way. 0:40:37.320 --> 0:40:40.200 So my question is am I being unreasonable to expect 0:40:40.239 --> 0:40:46.279 something as well rivalry? This is okay? Look, no, I 0:40:46.280 --> 0:40:48.239 think you're being a little bit unreasonable. That's okay. 0:40:48.239 --> 0:40:50.360 That's how I feel because I don't think that everything 0:40:50.440 --> 0:40:53.040 in life is tit for tart right. And you know, 0:40:53.160 --> 0:40:55.600 maybe people will disagree with me because obviously we should 0:40:55.600 --> 0:40:56.800 treat our children evenly. 0:40:57.480 --> 0:40:59.719 I'm sure in your dad's mind. 0:41:00.080 --> 0:41:02.400 He sees the fact that your sister as a single 0:41:02.480 --> 0:41:05.359 mum is that he needs to still support her more. 0:41:05.800 --> 0:41:09.040 And you are in a relationship, you have a husband, 0:41:09.400 --> 0:41:12.920 the two of you mutually are contributing to your life together, 0:41:13.000 --> 0:41:16.120 and you have someone to build a life with. And 0:41:16.160 --> 0:41:18.799 now she's not building a life with anyone, and she 0:41:18.960 --> 0:41:21.920 has to rely on herself, right for everything. Well, one 0:41:21.960 --> 0:41:24.480 family is jeweling come and one is single income totally 0:41:24.719 --> 0:41:27.120 big and maybe not because we don't know. For example, 0:41:27.160 --> 0:41:29.239 we don't know if the other sister who has kids 0:41:29.280 --> 0:41:31.080 and a husband, is working. We don't know what their 0:41:31.120 --> 0:41:34.040 financial situation is because she hasn't said, so maybe that's 0:41:34.120 --> 0:41:37.799 not the case. Maybe she isn't financially great yes, But 0:41:37.840 --> 0:41:39.719 I guess the thing about when you become a single 0:41:39.800 --> 0:41:43.359 mum is is that you are always doing everything on 0:41:43.400 --> 0:41:46.360 your own, like everything. You don't have anyone to bounce 0:41:46.360 --> 0:41:48.279 the stuff off with, You don't have someone to come 0:41:48.320 --> 0:41:49.640 and help you to pick up there. There's no one 0:41:49.640 --> 0:41:51.480 to come home to and talk through the good bits 0:41:51.520 --> 0:41:53.279 of your day the bad bits of your day. And 0:41:53.320 --> 0:41:57.040 if you're lucky enough, your parents often come and help 0:41:57.120 --> 0:41:58.880 and fill in that void a little bit. And I 0:41:58.920 --> 0:42:01.479 know for me when my mom was a single mom, 0:42:01.680 --> 0:42:05.560 my grandparents monumentally filled that void and they did so 0:42:05.760 --> 0:42:08.319 much for my mum. And I guess I just kind 0:42:08.320 --> 0:42:11.520 of think like your dad probably, And when he says 0:42:11.520 --> 0:42:12.800 I didn't see it as money, I just saw it 0:42:12.840 --> 0:42:15.360 as a car to help her. He's not thinking about 0:42:15.400 --> 0:42:17.080 this like I love one daughter more than the other, 0:42:17.080 --> 0:42:18.640 I'm going to give her X amount of money and 0:42:18.680 --> 0:42:21.200 ha ha ha, you are getting nothing. He was probably 0:42:21.239 --> 0:42:23.600 just doing something that he thought would really help her 0:42:23.920 --> 0:42:27.360 while she, no doubt is going through a pretty tricky 0:42:27.400 --> 0:42:29.760 period of life, which is being a single mom, because 0:42:30.040 --> 0:42:30.600 it is hard. 0:42:30.880 --> 0:42:32.560 Yeah, I think he probably just looked at it like 0:42:32.640 --> 0:42:35.279 it was situational. He looked at Okay, I didn't need 0:42:35.320 --> 0:42:39.440 my car anymore. You guys are husband and wife, assuming 0:42:39.440 --> 0:42:41.480 you've got two cars. She's a single mom. She could 0:42:41.560 --> 0:42:43.239 really do with that help. I don't think he thought 0:42:43.239 --> 0:42:45.520 this is the value of twenty thousand dollars. I'm going 0:42:45.600 --> 0:42:47.759 to purposely give it to my favorite child. I mean, 0:42:47.800 --> 0:42:49.799 we could be wrong. We don't know the situation, but 0:42:50.280 --> 0:42:52.200 I don't know many parents that would be like that 0:42:52.280 --> 0:42:53.360 in favor one person. 0:42:53.760 --> 0:42:56.600 I also think in life, like if you keep school 0:42:56.680 --> 0:43:00.239 like this, if you keep tally of your parents' relationship 0:43:00.320 --> 0:43:02.520 or with anyone, but especially it can be with parents. 0:43:02.960 --> 0:43:06.440 If you keep tally over the years, you could end 0:43:06.520 --> 0:43:09.040 up being in a situation where you are very, very 0:43:09.160 --> 0:43:10.880 hurt and you'll be bitter. 0:43:11.000 --> 0:43:12.560 And who is that going to help? No one. 0:43:12.920 --> 0:43:14.920 I kind of also think with this, like, if you're 0:43:14.960 --> 0:43:17.440 keeping tally, all that's going to do is erode your 0:43:17.480 --> 0:43:20.800 relationships with not just your dad, but also your sister. 0:43:20.920 --> 0:43:23.080 And I guess you know, at the end of the day, 0:43:23.160 --> 0:43:26.120 you have your husband who you can go to for support, 0:43:26.200 --> 0:43:29.000 you can invest in in terms of your relationship, you 0:43:29.000 --> 0:43:32.040 guys financially can work together towards your goals, and I 0:43:32.040 --> 0:43:33.839 think kind of focus on the things that you can 0:43:33.880 --> 0:43:36.279 do with your now nucleus family, with your husband and 0:43:36.320 --> 0:43:38.799 your kids, rather than thinking about what you can get 0:43:38.880 --> 0:43:41.759 from your parents. Is it a situation where maybe in 0:43:41.760 --> 0:43:44.080 the future, when they pass away, that their wills are 0:43:44.080 --> 0:43:47.080 not ended up being split evenly, then maybe that's a 0:43:47.120 --> 0:43:49.080 time for you to feel like, Okay, maybe my dad 0:43:49.120 --> 0:43:50.760 didn't love me as much as he loves my sister. 0:43:51.239 --> 0:43:53.799 But I don't think in this instance I would be 0:43:53.800 --> 0:43:56.120 getting as upset as what it seems to have upset you. 0:43:56.440 --> 0:43:58.800 Other people may disagree, and I think you're also upset 0:43:58.840 --> 0:44:01.600 because you've said dismissed my feelings. So maybe there's a 0:44:01.640 --> 0:44:04.160 level of you been upset because he wouldn't even try 0:44:04.160 --> 0:44:06.359 and understand where you came from. That can also hurt 0:44:06.360 --> 0:44:09.600 from a parent when they don't try to understand what 0:44:09.640 --> 0:44:11.880 you're saying or why you feel that way. But at 0:44:11.920 --> 0:44:13.960 the end of the day, I think that you've got 0:44:13.960 --> 0:44:15.640 to be really careful with this because it's going to 0:44:15.680 --> 0:44:17.440 probably just build a whole lot of resentment. 0:44:17.880 --> 0:44:20.040 Also, though I think that there's a sense of entitlement. 0:44:20.120 --> 0:44:22.640 Like I mean, at the end of the day, it's 0:44:22.680 --> 0:44:25.040 your parents' money. Like, as parents, we don't have to 0:44:25.040 --> 0:44:27.400 give our kids any money once their adults if we 0:44:27.400 --> 0:44:30.120 don't want to, so, like if he's chosen to pass 0:44:30.120 --> 0:44:32.479 a car onto one sister and not another, I would 0:44:32.480 --> 0:44:34.080 think that there are a lot of people listening to 0:44:34.160 --> 0:44:37.919 this who have siblings who have experienced, at one point 0:44:37.960 --> 0:44:41.560 in their life, feeling as though their parents have financially 0:44:41.640 --> 0:44:45.400 preferenced one child over another. I experienced it in my childhood. 0:44:45.480 --> 0:44:47.680 I have a little brother, and for a long time, 0:44:47.719 --> 0:44:50.319 I was like, why is my mom still supporting him 0:44:50.600 --> 0:44:54.040 as a mid twenty year old adult, But she didn't 0:44:54.040 --> 0:44:55.520 do that for us when we were in our mid twenties. 0:44:55.760 --> 0:44:58.880 And you make comparisons, and then when you make those comparisons, 0:44:59.200 --> 0:45:01.520 you think, well, well, why was I so hard done by? 0:45:01.880 --> 0:45:03.440 And all that's going to do is just fuck up 0:45:03.440 --> 0:45:06.000 your relationship. And I know now, like my relationship is 0:45:06.040 --> 0:45:08.360 amazing with my mum. I know she loves us evenly. 0:45:08.760 --> 0:45:10.799 It just was a different time in her life and 0:45:10.840 --> 0:45:13.799 she was able to support him more because she financially 0:45:13.840 --> 0:45:15.799 had the freedom because she didn't have two older kids 0:45:15.800 --> 0:45:16.759 to take care of at the time. 0:45:16.880 --> 0:45:18.839 Well, I sort of feel the same. It's which she says, 0:45:18.880 --> 0:45:22.359 am I unreasonable to expect something as well. It's hard 0:45:22.360 --> 0:45:24.560 for me to answer this because from the moment I've 0:45:24.560 --> 0:45:27.799 turned eighteen, I've never asked for or gotten anything from 0:45:27.800 --> 0:45:30.080 my parents' capacities. Like I was an adult and I 0:45:30.120 --> 0:45:31.880 went out into the working world and I did it, 0:45:31.960 --> 0:45:34.719 Like my parents' money to me is my parents' money. 0:45:34.760 --> 0:45:36.640 I was, like, they've worked their whole life, They've looked 0:45:36.680 --> 0:45:39.120 up to four kids. They've set us up that we 0:45:39.160 --> 0:45:40.759 can earn our own money, and we went to do 0:45:40.800 --> 0:45:43.000 our own jobs. Like it's different. So when I hear 0:45:43.080 --> 0:45:46.560 other people or families where their parents are like buying 0:45:46.600 --> 0:45:49.280 them a house, giving them cards, that blows my mind, 0:45:49.800 --> 0:45:51.719 Like I can't believe the parents did that. I'm like, 0:45:51.719 --> 0:45:54.040 I can't believe they would give up what they've worked 0:45:54.040 --> 0:45:56.560 for their whole life. They get to enjoy that money 0:45:56.600 --> 0:45:58.200 as well. That's how I think. So maybe I have 0:45:58.280 --> 0:46:00.880 a different lens on it, but that expects I expect 0:46:00.880 --> 0:46:02.960 not a dime from my parents even when they pass away. 0:46:03.200 --> 0:46:04.919 I don't expect a dime. I hope that they pass 0:46:04.960 --> 0:46:06.280 away having spent every dollar. 0:46:06.120 --> 0:46:06.840 They've gone totally. 0:46:06.840 --> 0:46:08.960 But I also think it's situational, right, Like, I mean, 0:46:09.120 --> 0:46:12.120 you've worked really hard, you've also been really fortunate, and 0:46:12.160 --> 0:46:14.160 you're in a position now where you earn money for 0:46:14.200 --> 0:46:16.239 yourself and you are very self sufficient, and there would 0:46:16.239 --> 0:46:18.160 be never a need for you to ask your parents 0:46:18.239 --> 0:46:21.000 for anything. There are absolutely going to be adults out 0:46:21.000 --> 0:46:24.600 there who have parents who you know are financially stable 0:46:24.640 --> 0:46:26.640 and they simply are not. Whether it be because they've 0:46:26.640 --> 0:46:29.600 gone through divorce, maybe they've been made redundant, whatever it is, 0:46:29.680 --> 0:46:33.440 that's the situation. I don't think that it's abnormal for parents, 0:46:33.640 --> 0:46:35.640 and I'm talking like older parents to help out their 0:46:35.640 --> 0:46:38.359 adult children in times of need. Oh no, And I 0:46:38.400 --> 0:46:40.560 don't mean that, No, I know you don't. I say 0:46:40.560 --> 0:46:43.239 that because, like, like you know, reiterating my grandparents. My 0:46:43.280 --> 0:46:47.360 grandparents financially helped my mum so much throughout my whole life. 0:46:47.719 --> 0:46:50.120 But I guess it comes down to like whether or 0:46:50.200 --> 0:46:53.279 not your kids financially need you, and that you're in 0:46:53.280 --> 0:46:56.440 a situation where like not just the love, but they 0:46:56.480 --> 0:46:58.879 need the support of dollars, the support of a car, 0:46:59.000 --> 0:47:01.040 the support of whatever it is a place to live, 0:47:01.360 --> 0:47:04.040 because you never stop being your kid's parents, even when 0:47:04.040 --> 0:47:06.480 they're all grown up, right, And I guess they've probably 0:47:06.560 --> 0:47:10.040 seen your sister go through a horrible marriage breakdown, she's 0:47:10.040 --> 0:47:12.840 probably had to find her feet again, she's gotten herself 0:47:12.880 --> 0:47:14.400 set up as a single mom in a house with 0:47:14.440 --> 0:47:17.480 the kids, and they just thought, maybe, you know, a 0:47:17.560 --> 0:47:19.879 car would probably make her happy and make her life 0:47:19.880 --> 0:47:21.200 a little bit easier, and. 0:47:21.120 --> 0:47:22.919 That maybe it was a safety thing. Maybe she didn't 0:47:22.960 --> 0:47:24.520 have a car that was safe enough for the kids. 0:47:24.560 --> 0:47:26.360 Like you don't know, you don't know, you know, And 0:47:26.400 --> 0:47:28.480 so I guess, like put yourself into that position, and 0:47:29.040 --> 0:47:30.919 maybe if it was you who was the single mom, 0:47:31.280 --> 0:47:32.799 you would have been the one getting. 0:47:32.560 --> 0:47:34.120 That offer from your parents. I don't know. 0:47:34.120 --> 0:47:35.839 I just think going back to this idea of keeping 0:47:35.840 --> 0:47:38.640 tit for tat, it's not healthy, It helps no one, 0:47:38.800 --> 0:47:40.880 It will not improve your relationship with your parents, and 0:47:40.920 --> 0:47:42.080 it will make you super resentful. 0:47:42.120 --> 0:47:44.279 But having said that, I also understand it, like one 0:47:44.360 --> 0:47:46.359 hundred percent. I understand where that feeling comes from, because 0:47:46.360 --> 0:47:48.560 there's always a bit of like from when you're a 0:47:48.600 --> 0:47:50.400 kids still adult, there's always a bit of a sibling 0:47:50.680 --> 0:47:52.600 I don't want to say rivalry, it's not the right word, 0:47:52.640 --> 0:47:55.520 but there's a level of jealousy maybe can be. Yeah, 0:47:55.640 --> 0:47:57.520 Like I think that that's really normal, and I think 0:47:57.520 --> 0:47:58.840 you just need to be a bit careful with it, 0:47:58.840 --> 0:48:00.360 that's all because you don't want us in packed your 0:48:00.360 --> 0:48:02.640 relationship with your sister. I have a question for you, Britt. 0:48:02.880 --> 0:48:05.520 Would you ever or have you ever had a conversation 0:48:05.600 --> 0:48:06.919 with your parents around their will. 0:48:07.920 --> 0:48:11.600 My parents' will would be split between the four kids evenly, 0:48:12.000 --> 0:48:13.840 and you've spoken about it. Yeah, we've spoken about it 0:48:13.840 --> 0:48:15.880 because we Yeah, I also know how they're gonna not 0:48:15.920 --> 0:48:17.440 how they're gonna die, that was sounded more. But I 0:48:17.480 --> 0:48:19.080 also know what we're gonna do for like their few 0:48:19.280 --> 0:48:21.719 like you know what they want at that part of life. Yeah. 0:48:21.880 --> 0:48:23.799 Actually, if you didn't hear it last week, we did 0:48:23.800 --> 0:48:25.919 it an interview all around we need to talk about 0:48:25.920 --> 0:48:28.880 aging and we didn't speak about wills specifically, but we 0:48:28.920 --> 0:48:31.600 did speak about the importance of talking to your parents 0:48:31.600 --> 0:48:34.680 around what they want for their lives and for the 0:48:34.800 --> 0:48:36.759 end of life and what that looks like. I have 0:48:37.160 --> 0:48:41.000 not really spoken to my mum around her will and stuff, 0:48:41.000 --> 0:48:43.680 Like she's definitely mentioned things to me, but I don't 0:48:43.680 --> 0:48:45.160 want it, Like I don't want anything. 0:48:45.239 --> 0:48:45.840 I don't want to. 0:48:46.280 --> 0:48:49.000 I'm like, just whatever you do with it, and if 0:48:49.000 --> 0:48:49.399 it's not. 0:48:49.440 --> 0:48:51.520 You guys, yeah, I know, give it to the kids, 0:48:51.560 --> 0:48:53.719 give it to the grandkids obviously. But then at the 0:48:53.760 --> 0:48:56.680 same time, my brother doesn't have children, so that wouldn't 0:48:56.680 --> 0:48:58.319 be either. He can have his bit and then I'll 0:48:58.320 --> 0:49:00.759 give the bit just to my grandkids because I don't know. 0:49:00.840 --> 0:49:03.279 I think that the problem here is is that when 0:49:03.320 --> 0:49:06.600 it comes to money, that people feel like they own 0:49:07.040 --> 0:49:09.279 or feel like they deserve, but they haven't earned. So 0:49:09.280 --> 0:49:11.720 when it comes to your parents' money, it can create 0:49:11.880 --> 0:49:15.200 such separation in families. It can create such a huge 0:49:15.280 --> 0:49:17.720 and awful division. But at the end of the day, 0:49:18.160 --> 0:49:21.600 that money is not yours. It is not yours to 0:49:21.719 --> 0:49:24.400 feel any ownership over. So if your parents want to 0:49:24.400 --> 0:49:26.040 do whatever the fuck they want to do with it, yeah, 0:49:26.200 --> 0:49:28.120 it doesn't mean that they love you less. It just 0:49:28.200 --> 0:49:30.200 means that they've made a decision with what is theirs. 0:49:30.280 --> 0:49:32.840 And I guess it's something that can be really hard 0:49:32.920 --> 0:49:35.200 to accept and it can cause a lot of breakdowns 0:49:35.200 --> 0:49:35.920 in relationships. 0:49:36.000 --> 0:49:38.360 Yeah, anyway, that's it. That was a different question. 0:49:38.760 --> 0:49:41.120 We really took a pivot, like we doglegged there we're 0:49:41.160 --> 0:49:44.520 all hard and now we're talking about dead people's money, 0:49:44.560 --> 0:49:45.719 and I don't we do not even know why we're 0:49:45.719 --> 0:49:47.319 there because we're talking about a single woman in a car. 0:49:47.360 --> 0:49:50.720 It's just a cal it's gone for a month. 0:49:50.680 --> 0:49:53.160 Right, Well, guys, okay, so you will know if you're 0:49:53.200 --> 0:49:53.680 listening to this. 0:49:53.719 --> 0:49:57.400 We had our Gold Coast show yesterday, but we don't know. 0:49:57.440 --> 0:49:59.160 We can't tell you how it is because we're recording 0:49:59.160 --> 0:50:00.160 this before the Gold Coast. 0:50:00.040 --> 0:50:01.920 Show because it's just going to be first thing in 0:50:01.920 --> 0:50:02.720 the morning. Wild. 0:50:03.120 --> 0:50:05.359 But that means that we only have two shows left, 0:50:05.360 --> 0:50:08.520 two live shows. We're going to Canberra and then we're 0:50:08.520 --> 0:50:10.880 going straight to Brisbane, our very last shows on the 0:50:10.880 --> 0:50:13.520 thirty first, which is the Brisbane show. If you haven't 0:50:13.520 --> 0:50:15.560 got tickets yet, there are some last minute tickets that 0:50:15.600 --> 0:50:16.120 were released. 0:50:16.680 --> 0:50:17.720 It's so fun. 0:50:17.880 --> 0:50:20.120 I know we've been talking about it forever, but it 0:50:20.200 --> 0:50:22.479 is so unbelievably fun. We hope that you guys would 0:50:22.480 --> 0:50:24.600 like come have such a good laugh. If you've been 0:50:24.600 --> 0:50:27.080 thinking about coming on your own, go get your tickets. 0:50:27.080 --> 0:50:29.840 There's like final release tickets. There's also some cheaper tickets 0:50:29.880 --> 0:50:30.640 if you get in there and. 0:50:30.600 --> 0:50:31.759 Find them what you like. 0:50:32.280 --> 0:50:34.040 The well, no, they're they're kind of like wherever there's 0:50:34.040 --> 0:50:36.080 single tickets, wherever there's any random ones left, or they're 0:50:36.080 --> 0:50:38.120 ones at the back, but they are cheaper and we 0:50:38.200 --> 0:50:40.799 have some merch to give away there and look it's 0:50:40.840 --> 0:50:43.360 all happening. Get your tickets, don't forget. 0:50:43.280 --> 0:50:45.839 Tell you mumdadte doun'te your friends and share the love 0:50:45.960 --> 0:51:09.759 because we will love. Love. The company a Devacus, the Bay, 0:51:10.400 --> 0:51:10.839 the Ba