Speaker 1: Is It Just Me Podcast by a couple of mitches.
Speaker 2: Okay, Mitchell, I'm so excited for our guest today, truly,
Speaker 2: truly one of the greats and someone that we were
Speaker 2: meant to have on the show.
Speaker 3: Yeah quite a while ago.
Speaker 4: In a long time coming.
Speaker 3: A long time coming. The one and only Reuben Kay
Speaker 3: is here. Hellover about gorgeous.
Speaker 1: I feels so good to be finally here.
Speaker 4: Oh, they tried to silence you. We were meant to
Speaker 4: have you on this podcast the same week that you
Speaker 4: were on the project. Yeah, no, some people might have
Speaker 4: missed that. But yeah, a little something happened after our
Speaker 4: project appearance, didn't it happen?
Speaker 3: Did you and Willie Darli? You're not get along or something.
Speaker 1: I just think you're not doing something right. You're not
Speaker 1: doing anything right if you're not pissing someone off. And
Speaker 1: it was it was lovely for me to be back
Speaker 1: in the muzzle for once.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I can imagine.
Speaker 2: So hold on, are you are you happy to tell
Speaker 2: the joke you told on the project or do we
Speaker 2: not go back to that stuff because I've.
Speaker 1: Been telling that joke for about eight years. Because I
Speaker 1: love Jesus, I love any man who can get nailed
Speaker 1: for three days straight and come back for more.
Speaker 4: And all the hosts on the project laughed along, didn't
Speaker 4: have an issue.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, well of course, because it's a funny joke.
Speaker 1: It's a funny joke, but if you take it out
Speaker 1: of context, what you see is someone queer sort of
Speaker 1: poking a bear. And what I set up in the
Speaker 1: joke prior was that this is actually about me receiving
Speaker 1: hate from Christian people who use Jesus's name as a
Speaker 1: way to, as you know, gets done, use Jesus's name
Speaker 1: as a way to rile up abuse or hatred of
Speaker 1: queer people. So I told the joke, but it's also
Speaker 1: a joke that has existed in many forms before. And
Speaker 1: I am not the first comedian to you know, go
Speaker 1: after or poke fun at Christianity. But I do happen
Speaker 1: to be a visibly queer one. So I feel like
Speaker 1: sometimes it's a case of they don't care what the
Speaker 1: joke is, They just might care a bit about who's
Speaker 1: telling you.
Speaker 3: Yeah, you're an easy target for me.
Speaker 4: It's just like I've just learnt myself. You just don't
Speaker 4: go then when it comes to religious jokes. I worked
Speaker 4: here at KISSFM, At the same time that Kyle Sandaland's
Speaker 4: made a joke about Virgin Mary, there were protests out
Speaker 4: the front of the station holding signs. Mitch was getting
Speaker 4: calls to his time slot at night with bomb threats
Speaker 4: and stuff. So it's just like, even if you think
Speaker 4: of a real Zinger, if you think it's harmless, just
Speaker 4: don't go there. When it comes to religion, I find.
Speaker 1: I also think there's an element of people want to
Speaker 1: live in a free and open society of tolerance, but
Speaker 1: only if views that they find distasteful are not tolerated.
Speaker 1: You know, personally, to have a tolerant society means that
Speaker 1: the one thing you can't be tolerant of is intolerance. Wow,
Speaker 1: but it's an interesting time. I mean, we've gone very
Speaker 1: heavy in I know, I love it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, we're all funny people. I swear to God we
Speaker 2: will get there. But let's talk about Ukraine.
Speaker 1: Reuben, I've got some thoughts. I'm the only man less
Speaker 1: likely to pull out than Putin. Let's guy.
Speaker 4: Can I just say, by the way, I was there
Speaker 4: at the Sydney Comedy Festival showcase which you MC night
Speaker 4: and some of the jokes you made that night. I
Speaker 4: was like that makes the Jesus joke on the project
Speaker 4: seem very fun child's play.
Speaker 1: Yeah, this is the thing that I'm amazed that of
Speaker 1: all the horrible, awful, terrible, disgusting things that come out
Speaker 1: of my mouth and sometimes go into it, this is
Speaker 1: the thing. This is the thing that got me in trouble.
Speaker 1: It doesn't even have a swear word in it. It's
Speaker 1: technically a pun at best, it's a dad joke.
Speaker 3: Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, but it worked.
Speaker 2: How does can you talk me through quickly? How a
Speaker 2: pr crisis like that unfolds?
Speaker 1: Like?
Speaker 3: Do you do you know instantly? Do you know in
Speaker 3: an hour? When does it?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 3: How does do you do?
Speaker 1: Do?
Speaker 2: The producers go, Reuben, thanks for having you on. We'll
Speaker 2: get you back on another time. And then does it
Speaker 2: unfold the following days?
Speaker 4: Can you refresh your Instagram and go, oh fuck?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 1: I think we came off. Everything was lighted to shake,
Speaker 1: shook hands all the producers and said that was fantastic,
Speaker 1: that was brilliant. We loved it. And then as we left,
Speaker 1: I'm a social media whore, so I'm like looking and
Speaker 1: looking and it's gaining traction and it's got like positive, positive,
Speaker 1: and and some negative. I'm like, that's okay as a
Speaker 1: visibly queer person, that's what you get just as a
Speaker 1: person or even as a person in the media. And
Speaker 1: then I think I went to bed, and then I
Speaker 1: was meant to be on ABC ABC Mornings the next morning,
Speaker 1: and I got to call at five am as I
Speaker 1: was beginning to paint, being like, I think we might
Speaker 1: just we might not.
Speaker 4: Yeah down, yeah, okay.
Speaker 1: I'll just go back to bed. And then I woke
Speaker 1: up again and I was like, oh, so then it
Speaker 1: sort of became Yeah, then it was just very interesting,
Speaker 1: like Baby's first scandal as well. So it became equal
Speaker 1: part sort of horrifying and fascinating to see how it
Speaker 1: all unfolded. But the best part was the Sydney Comedy
Speaker 1: Festival and my management, who were all coppying a whole
Speaker 1: bunch of flak, absolutely stood up with me. Defended it,
Speaker 1: defended me, excuse me, all looked after my my mental health,
Speaker 1: and even you know, Sam Taunton from the Project reached
Speaker 1: out and said, hey, are you okay, how are you
Speaker 1: doing and all this, which is nice.
Speaker 4: Yeah, that's nice.
Speaker 3: He gets it as a comic. It's rough.
Speaker 4: And also now you're doing an Encore show in Sydney,
Speaker 4: So I feel like in many ways, sure a fuckload
Speaker 4: of people were offended, but then now fuck load more
Speaker 4: people want.
Speaker 3: To buy you know, light and shade.
Speaker 1: Look what people wanting to buy the tickets and we're
Speaker 1: selling amazingly.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 1: I can't wait to get on stage at the end
Speaker 1: More and it's going to be a show of a life.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, Well there's two show. There's there's two shows.
Speaker 2: You're doing live and intimidating. If you're in Canberra, Hobart,
Speaker 2: the Gold Coast or Brizzy you can get live and intimidating.
Speaker 2: Then the Butcher's back the en More Theater first of July.
Speaker 2: What are the two shows you just do? Like I
Speaker 2: I got so much material, let me do too.
Speaker 1: That's exactly it. I'm not only a pariah. I'm a genius.
Speaker 4: You must be a genius, because the idea of doing
Speaker 4: two shows that once stresses me out. I'd be like,
Speaker 4: which like halfway through, I've been order.
Speaker 1: I've been on a national tour doing three different shows.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, brain, I've got a late night I've
Speaker 1: got a late night show called the k Hole, which
Speaker 1: is a line it's a lineup show, right, So that's
Speaker 1: my grinder.
Speaker 3: Take it.
Speaker 1: I am currently under the desk. That's why I had
Speaker 1: soup for breakfast. It'll be fine. So The Butcher's Back
Speaker 1: is a huge show. It's a six piece band, full
Speaker 1: horn section, costume changes, the whole thing. It's a It
Speaker 1: charts my journey from childhood to the current day and
Speaker 1: the music in it is just next.
Speaker 4: I don't know if you know this, but Rabon's got
Speaker 4: quite some fucking pipes on him.
Speaker 2: Oh no, I'm well aware. Yeah that that that voice
Speaker 2: comes right deep from the k hole. I can only
Speaker 2: imagine where that voice rumiates.
Speaker 4: And so how long have you been doing The Butcher's
Speaker 4: Back for? Because I can imagine it'd be quite different
Speaker 4: to like Opening Night. Now.
Speaker 1: Yeah, The Butcher's Back has existed in one form or
Speaker 1: the other. It was born out of the first lockdown
Speaker 1: in Melbourne. We created it in twenty twenty and we've
Speaker 1: been touring it all of twenty twenty one. We were
Speaker 1: jumping between states, going fuck, they're closing the borders in Perth.
Speaker 1: Run run get to the airport, jump on, get on
Speaker 1: the planet. At one point we were in Darwin to
Speaker 1: isolate for two weeks so we could get into Perth.
Speaker 1: So we realized we traveled ten thousand kilometers to get
Speaker 1: to Perth just to do the gigs.
Speaker 4: Yeah, that is so a lot going from Darwin to Perth.
Speaker 1: Oh, it was like it was really Cowboy for a
Speaker 1: whole year and I loved it. But the show has
Speaker 1: sort of been going in one form or another and
Speaker 1: evolving through since then. But we've never done Sydney and
Speaker 1: it's my biggest show. So I want to bring the
Speaker 1: big guns to the big smoke.
Speaker 3: I love that so much. I literally leave.
Speaker 2: You've been to my house meeting. I'm like a street
Speaker 2: away from the end Moore Theater and I can see
Speaker 2: the lights and the bannup from my bedroom window. So
Speaker 2: I will I will be there. I'll be watching.
Speaker 3: I can't wait. Which we should go.
Speaker 1: You're both You're both going to be there.
Speaker 4: Reuben ka dot com for anyone else he wants to
Speaker 4: come along.
Speaker 3: Yeah, get tickets.
Speaker 1: I've got gift bags with Kemin in it, just for
Speaker 1: you two under your seats.
Speaker 4: Oh, I can't wait, Lovely, I truly pretending to know
Speaker 4: what that is.
Speaker 2: I know what ken mean is, but I'm a kind
Speaker 2: of gay room and then if I even go near it,
Speaker 2: I will have a heart attack. It's either nfhyl access
Speaker 2: or I'm not built for the party. Drugs not for me.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but also, as Hannah Gadsby said, there's a certain
Speaker 1: game's favorite sound as a teacup hitting a saucer. Where's
Speaker 1: that pride parade?
Speaker 2: Yes, okay, yes, Peters of Kensington in mascot, that's where
Speaker 2: that happens at the checkout.
Speaker 1: And then Live and Intimidating is the show that we're
Speaker 1: taking we've been taking through this year. It's the news show.
Speaker 1: It was really forged in the fires of sort of
Speaker 1: the project. Oh and it's a smaller show. It's me,
Speaker 1: three musos. It's a total vibe. I welcome everyone as
Speaker 1: they come in with a hug, and I say welcome
Speaker 1: home because a lot of people have only just discovered me,
Speaker 1: and I want them to kind of see all of
Speaker 1: the different facets of me. I want them to know that, yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm loud, i'm dirty, I'm a good time, but there's
Speaker 1: also something quite accessible, sensitive real about me.
Speaker 4: I also feel, ironically that you're not that intimidating because
Speaker 4: if you're doing crowd work, you're actually you don't punch down,
Speaker 4: You're quite lovely to the audience, so they don't have
Speaker 4: any reason to be nervous or intimidated come into the show, right.
Speaker 1: No, absolutely not, And in fact the crowd are really
Speaker 1: safe in it. But also they're holding me as much
Speaker 1: as I'm holding them. It's a really lovely intimate show.
Speaker 1: But we called it originally live and intimate. And then
Speaker 1: I don't know if you know Ali McGregor, Oh, yeah,
Speaker 1: she's a yeah, adam amazing opera sing a cabaret diba,
Speaker 1: married to Adam Hill's showbiz icon. She just texted me
Speaker 1: and said, shouldn't it be live intimidating to laugh emoji?
Speaker 3: And I was like, stolen name change, Yeah, perfect lucking.
Speaker 3: That's the push that I get.
Speaker 1: No writer's credit. You do not get a percentage?
Speaker 4: Is it just when podcast by a couple of midges? Ruben?
Speaker 4: What do you like after you've finished a show? Because
Speaker 4: I've found that I'm obviously much newer to stand up
Speaker 4: than you, but I find that there's one of two
Speaker 4: Mitchell's that I get after I come off stage. There's
Speaker 4: one where I'm like, I'm going to keep the high
Speaker 4: going I'm going out, I'm going drinking, or there's like
Speaker 4: a little bit of post show depression. Everyone leave me alone.
Speaker 4: I never know which one it's going to be after
Speaker 4: a show, so.
Speaker 1: I I often get the second one because I'm giving
Speaker 1: a lot and I'm very physical. So it the adrenaline
Speaker 1: drop because you're being pumped with a huge amount of
Speaker 1: adrenaline and a huge amount of serotonin and you've got
Speaker 1: three hundred people or at the end more seventeen hundred
Speaker 1: people like applauding and screaming. A human body is sort
Speaker 1: of not used to receiving that, and then all the
Speaker 1: adrenaline and serotonin once it's in you, it kind of
Speaker 1: dissipates and you're left with her. You have to find
Speaker 1: a way to manage the crash come down.
Speaker 4: How do you manage the crash? I'm asking because I
Speaker 4: want to know, because I have to tell everyone around me. No, No,
Speaker 4: I'm not sad. It's not like the show went poorly.
Speaker 4: I'm not bummed. I just fucking feel flat as buck
Speaker 4: after a show.
Speaker 1: Sometimes two things you can either. I think if you
Speaker 1: can time a drink and being around people at the
Speaker 1: right time, you can keep the high going right and
Speaker 1: then like you might have a party or you might
Speaker 1: just be the transition is smoother, but I tend to
Speaker 1: just sort of be alone, taken off the makeup after,
Speaker 1: and that's it's hard to keep the buzz going when
Speaker 1: you're on your own. So why I used to get
Speaker 1: very depressed. And then my therapist, poor guy. Can you
Speaker 1: imagine you imagine your therapist. Yeah, he's got a therapy,
Speaker 1: he should do it. Also a vet. Yes, he said.
Speaker 1: You need to realize the difference between sort of walking
Speaker 1: into the river with your pocket full of stones and
Speaker 1: what is a chemical drop? So rate it. Rate where
Speaker 1: you're at out of ten so you can get a
Speaker 1: sense of what the perspective is and think yourself, Am
Speaker 1: I about to drop the toaster in the bath? Or
Speaker 1: do I just need to eat something? Yes and go
Speaker 1: to bed. You know, I think we all drop into
Speaker 1: huge existential crises about our lives and then we go, oh,
Speaker 1: actually I think I just needed some veggimut on toast.
Speaker 3: Yes, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2: I feel like as queer entertainers, we all put ourselves
Speaker 2: so much pressure on ourselves.
Speaker 3: It's like, chill the fuck out. We're just making people laugh.
Speaker 2: We just want to have a bit of anal and
Speaker 2: we just want to have like seven hours of sleep, right,
Speaker 2: Am I.
Speaker 4: Speaking for my all at the same time, Yes, yes.
Speaker 3: Sticking in me let me fall asleep, you know.
Speaker 1: Oh my God and other poems by Maya Angelou. I think.
Speaker 1: I think also there's a there's a reputation or there's
Speaker 1: a cannon of amazing queer performers with really high standards
Speaker 1: to really change the face of entertainment. So for any
Speaker 1: queer performer who's trying to break through, they're looking at
Speaker 1: the grates for inspiration, but also there's a little bit
Speaker 1: of pressure to follow through. If they hit seventy percent
Speaker 1: of the way there, burn it down, I'm terrible.
Speaker 4: Yeah, so you're one of those people that I look
Speaker 4: at who I've started doing stand up shows for the
Speaker 4: last two years. I think, and sometimes I see performers
Speaker 4: like you where I'm like, fuck, should I be putting
Speaker 4: more attention into my costumes, me hair, me makeup. I
Speaker 4: just chucked my hair in a ponytail. I get out there,
Speaker 4: I'm all sweaty. I'm wearing no shoes half the time
Speaker 4: because I don't want to overheat on the stage. I
Speaker 4: run a bit hot Reuben.
Speaker 3: You see, I suggested my costume.
Speaker 4: Shit really needs some work, especially when I look at
Speaker 4: people like you.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but the other part of it is you've got
Speaker 1: to find Everyone has to find the thing that works
Speaker 1: for them. You know, for me, it's eight pounds of
Speaker 1: lead based cosmetics, high heels and you know tea that
Speaker 1: we're taken from a horse in Turkey. But for you, you,
Speaker 1: it might be a top not you know, bare feet
Speaker 1: and a trickle of sweat, and that might be exactly
Speaker 1: what it is you need. I think, trust your body
Speaker 1: and what you feel makes you feel the best.
Speaker 4: Yeah, okay, that's true advice, because like I look at
Speaker 4: the outfits and things you wear, and I think, fuck,
Speaker 4: you're fabulous. But if I put that on, I'd be
Speaker 4: so uncomfortable. It looks amazing, but I would fucking be
Speaker 4: we put off the whole show and performing huge heels
Speaker 4: and shit like ah.
Speaker 1: I find it really difficult now to sing or be
Speaker 1: on when I'm not in a heel. Really so used
Speaker 1: to it now. I'm so used to it now. But also,
Speaker 1: no doubt you would look gorgeous and all these things,
Speaker 1: but stay away from my fucking gear.
Speaker 3: On a threat, I do like that.
Speaker 4: We're saying a more stripped back Reuben today.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's nice.
Speaker 1: You haven't even seen below the waist yet.
Speaker 4: I'd love to have you always been polished in all
Speaker 4: the things that you do on Sage, with your costumes
Speaker 4: and your makeup. Or do you ever look back at
Speaker 4: old photos and think, fuck me, I've come a long
Speaker 4: way since then.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna email you a picture of the first time,
Speaker 1: or can I just show it on the show?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 1: I can show you on the screen. Obviously, everyone here
Speaker 1: knows me as the beautiful and the gorgeous Ruben k.
Speaker 1: But what they don't realize is that the first time
Speaker 1: I ever put on makeup, I look like that.
Speaker 4: Oh that's not makeup, that's face painting. My god.
Speaker 3: Yeah that's buddings on a Saturday afternoon.
Speaker 1: And I just wanted you to know I felt like
Speaker 1: I was serving high glam.
Speaker 4: Just for anyone who obviously can't see this, it's a podcast.
Speaker 4: Just think Edwards is a hands.
Speaker 3: Yeah, very Edwards hands.
Speaker 1: It screams. Regional tour of cats is what it does.
Speaker 4: Oh you've come a long way.
Speaker 2: Wow, you have come a very, very long way. If
Speaker 2: you want to go and see Ruben Reuben k dot Com,
Speaker 2: The Butcher's back in Sydney. The end more live and Intimidate.
Speaker 2: We'll go rewatch that project of a laugh.
Speaker 3: Reuben's so good to have you on. Thank you. Finally,
Speaker 3: don't forget Mitchell Well, question shit, yeah go.
Speaker 4: There's one question that we ask every guest. I'm certainly
Speaker 4: not going to let you off the hook. I'm probably
Speaker 4: more intrigued about your answer than any other guest. Yes,
Speaker 4: So every guest we ask them to tell us a
Speaker 4: little thing in life they appreciate, just like the crunch
Speaker 4: of an autumn leaf, for a crunch of a good apple,
Speaker 4: something like that, and then we add it. We add
Speaker 4: it to our list of things better than drugs and
Speaker 4: dick because we've got a lot of young adult listeners
Speaker 4: who might be in a stage of life where they're
Speaker 4: obsessed with drugs and dick, partying boys, what have you.
Speaker 4: So we like to remind them that there's more to life.
Speaker 4: So what would you What would you say is better
Speaker 4: than drugs and dick?
Speaker 1: Resistance? What I think resistance if someone gives you pushback
Speaker 1: on an idea or says I don't know if we're
Speaker 1: going to be able to do that, or we can't
Speaker 1: do that because no one's ever done it before. That's
Speaker 1: the moment where I know I'm onto something, and that's
Speaker 1: the moment I know I've got to keep pushing on
Speaker 1: this or there's something here.
Speaker 2: So I did sorry. I thought we were still in
Speaker 2: the gay sex realm. I thought you meant pushed back
Speaker 2: on a cock, and I thought that's a great time.
Speaker 1: I know you did it is you feel sorry.
Speaker 3: I'm sorry. But resistance it's got more of a more
Speaker 3: of a message.
Speaker 1: I love how you've switched from no, I'm a quiet gay,
Speaker 1: I'm a quiet girl, to stay home. I couldn't disgusting,
Speaker 1: And now we find out that you're a funnel cake.
Speaker 2: No, but but ketamine and beautiful making love. Making love
Speaker 2: is very different, Okay, there's.
Speaker 1: A difference between making love and pushing back on a dick,
Speaker 1: Like where is there's no line, don't choose the no.
Speaker 3: I love that.
Speaker 2: So obviously that's something that you have faced and still face, Ruben,
Speaker 2: I guess is resistance.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Every time I've gone on TV and they've said you
Speaker 1: have to submit a script, and I submit a script,
Speaker 1: there's always someone somewhere going Okay, Okay, we just want
Speaker 1: to we want to do this, and we're great. Give
Speaker 1: me the parameters that I can wiggle, give me, give
Speaker 1: me what I can work in and how I can
Speaker 1: push my message into this within within your parameters or
Speaker 1: can I expand these parameters?
Speaker 4: So it's like the opposite of needing validation. If someone
Speaker 4: tells you something it's not a good idea, you're like,
Speaker 4: it must be great, then.
Speaker 1: A little bit, yes, I just think it's I think
Speaker 1: validation and support are necessary and fantastic and I need
Speaker 1: it a lot. I wouldn't be in this career if
Speaker 1: I didn't. But at the same time, when someone gives
Speaker 1: if there's a little bit of friction, I know I'm
Speaker 1: on the right path.
Speaker 4: That's an interesting content. The last thing, that's the first
Speaker 4: time anyone has kind of added a concept to the list.
Speaker 4: The last thing was Tim Abbott saying, chock coach in
Speaker 4: Sultan is it better than drugs and dick?
Speaker 3: But some some cas are on a different wavelengths to others.
Speaker 1: And I say, right now, how about I'll add on
Speaker 1: to this. How about how about this then when you
Speaker 1: haven't started your chock top until the movie starts.
Speaker 2: Oh now, that's good. I'm willing both in there, at
Speaker 2: them both. Yeah, at resistance. The resistance is the best
Speaker 2: we've had. But that's so true that that requires so
Speaker 2: much willpower.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 4: Wow, but then you're going to do the awkward rustling
Speaker 4: of the plastic. It's so awkward.
Speaker 1: Joe A lady unwrapped a suite in one of my
Speaker 1: shows in Melbourne for three solid minutes. And I know
Speaker 1: because she did it throughout one song. And the song
Speaker 1: was a three minute song and was the quietest, slowest,
Speaker 1: most tender ballad is a few years ago, and she
Speaker 1: spent it just slowly trying to like as if no
Speaker 1: one would notice.
Speaker 4: Yeah, you've got to rip the band aid babes if
Speaker 4: you do it slower, just.
Speaker 3: Yeah, or cough cough when you do them the first hair.
Speaker 3: That's what I do.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'd rather think you have emphysema shows.
Speaker 2: All right, Well, if you want to go rubink dot com.
Speaker 2: Great to finally have you on the podcast.
Speaker 3: Yeah, finally, treat.
Speaker 1: It has been an absolute thrill. Thank you for having me.
Speaker 4: Pleasure anytime, Pleasure Treasure So much money?
Speaker 1: Is it just Me? Podcast by a couple of mich
Speaker 1: Sure you've hit follow on your podcast app,