1 00:00:00,040 --> 00:00:02,640 Speaker 1: I would like to acknowledge the traditional owners of the 2 00:00:02,720 --> 00:00:06,279 Speaker 1: land on which this episode is being recorded, the Combomb 3 00:00:06,320 --> 00:00:11,080 Speaker 1: Merry people. They've been having conversations and telling stories on 4 00:00:11,119 --> 00:00:14,240 Speaker 1: this land for thousands of years, and we show our 5 00:00:14,320 --> 00:00:20,560 Speaker 1: gratitude and respect for their contribution to our environment and culture. 6 00:00:21,440 --> 00:00:24,800 Speaker 2: We are doing an episode our Dating, Our Relationship. 7 00:00:27,760 --> 00:00:32,640 Speaker 3: Welcome back everyone to the in Between with Georgina and Jamie. 8 00:00:33,120 --> 00:00:35,320 Speaker 3: We are so excited to be back in your ears. 9 00:00:35,440 --> 00:00:39,680 Speaker 3: We love recording these episodes, we really do, honestly. And 10 00:00:40,040 --> 00:00:43,120 Speaker 3: today we have a question that you guys wrote in 11 00:00:43,280 --> 00:00:46,360 Speaker 3: for us. Someone wrote in not everyone and said they 12 00:00:46,400 --> 00:00:50,959 Speaker 3: want to know about dating and relationships and relationships. But 13 00:00:51,200 --> 00:00:54,520 Speaker 3: Jamie and I decided because we're probably not the best 14 00:00:54,600 --> 00:00:57,880 Speaker 3: people for pure dating advice because we've both been out 15 00:00:57,880 --> 00:00:59,800 Speaker 3: of the game for quite a while. But we can 16 00:00:59,840 --> 00:01:02,200 Speaker 3: talk about the mindset behind dating and like the self 17 00:01:02,240 --> 00:01:04,920 Speaker 3: development side of that. But we're also going to dive 18 00:01:05,000 --> 00:01:07,480 Speaker 3: into relationships. 19 00:01:06,640 --> 00:01:10,520 Speaker 2: And how to have a healthy, happy, long term relationship 20 00:01:10,560 --> 00:01:13,960 Speaker 2: and what that looks like from a personal development side, 21 00:01:14,000 --> 00:01:16,600 Speaker 2: because I truly feel like being in a relationship is 22 00:01:16,640 --> 00:01:20,600 Speaker 2: one of the biggest self development self growth journeys. You 23 00:01:20,680 --> 00:01:24,080 Speaker 2: go on because you're trying to figure out life with 24 00:01:24,319 --> 00:01:27,600 Speaker 2: another human that has their own wounds, their own triggers, 25 00:01:27,640 --> 00:01:30,520 Speaker 2: their own beliefs, and trying to merge all of that 26 00:01:30,680 --> 00:01:34,679 Speaker 2: and find harmony in a life. And also your partners 27 00:01:34,680 --> 00:01:37,080 Speaker 2: will be your biggest mirrors and they're going to trigger 28 00:01:37,120 --> 00:01:38,080 Speaker 2: out the fuck out of you. 29 00:01:38,520 --> 00:01:40,920 Speaker 3: They really are. I'm in this stage at the moment 30 00:01:41,319 --> 00:01:45,080 Speaker 3: with my partner Dave. The way he sneezes, it's always 31 00:01:45,120 --> 00:01:47,560 Speaker 3: the littlest it's the littlest. I don't know what it is, 32 00:01:48,040 --> 00:01:50,200 Speaker 3: but when he sneezes, I'm like, can you please not 33 00:01:50,280 --> 00:01:51,000 Speaker 3: sneeze like that? 34 00:01:51,200 --> 00:01:52,240 Speaker 4: What is it? 35 00:01:52,320 --> 00:01:53,320 Speaker 2: I'm gonna need some video. 36 00:01:53,440 --> 00:01:54,400 Speaker 4: Oh, I'll get it for you. 37 00:01:54,480 --> 00:01:57,240 Speaker 3: It's like in the Facebook green how some people sneeze 38 00:01:57,240 --> 00:02:01,840 Speaker 3: really externally. And it's like but also like he can't 39 00:02:01,880 --> 00:02:05,760 Speaker 3: help that. I understand, and he's like a little stay. 40 00:02:06,240 --> 00:02:07,960 Speaker 4: Me, stop snoozing like that. 41 00:02:08,160 --> 00:02:10,120 Speaker 3: No, I'm just kidding, But you know, like you go 42 00:02:10,240 --> 00:02:12,440 Speaker 3: through therese different things that happens, you get triggered by 43 00:02:12,440 --> 00:02:16,560 Speaker 3: different things, and you're both individuals on your own growth 44 00:02:16,600 --> 00:02:19,560 Speaker 3: and discovering journey kind of like choosing to do life 45 00:02:19,560 --> 00:02:22,480 Speaker 3: together side by side. So There's lots of stuff that 46 00:02:22,520 --> 00:02:24,720 Speaker 3: comes with that that I feel like isn't really talked 47 00:02:24,720 --> 00:02:28,280 Speaker 3: about enough, and we get caught in these loops, you know, 48 00:02:28,440 --> 00:02:32,440 Speaker 3: seeing relationships on Instagram and seeing how perfect everything can 49 00:02:32,480 --> 00:02:35,760 Speaker 3: always look. And again this is always highlight reels, and 50 00:02:36,040 --> 00:02:38,800 Speaker 3: sometimes you know, the behind the scenes, the arguments, the 51 00:02:38,960 --> 00:02:42,000 Speaker 3: choosing each other over and over again, that isn't shown 52 00:02:42,080 --> 00:02:42,880 Speaker 3: or talked about enough. 53 00:02:42,919 --> 00:02:43,799 Speaker 4: So I need to do. 54 00:02:43,800 --> 00:02:46,720 Speaker 2: That and how to navigate that and really how it 55 00:02:46,800 --> 00:02:51,040 Speaker 2: can be the biggest blessing when you understand what feeling 56 00:02:51,080 --> 00:02:54,160 Speaker 2: triggered by your partner means and what that's actually revealing 57 00:02:54,160 --> 00:02:57,800 Speaker 2: within yourself, because it is actually such a blessing to 58 00:02:57,840 --> 00:03:00,200 Speaker 2: be able to then see those things in yourself and 59 00:03:00,800 --> 00:03:03,560 Speaker 2: heal things that you probably wouldn't have been able to 60 00:03:03,600 --> 00:03:06,840 Speaker 2: notice or heal on your own. So we're going to 61 00:03:06,840 --> 00:03:08,640 Speaker 2: get into that, but before we do, should we give 62 00:03:08,639 --> 00:03:11,919 Speaker 2: a little life update. We're just two girls on the 63 00:03:11,960 --> 00:03:14,639 Speaker 2: podcast giving me advice, and we don't like we haven't 64 00:03:14,680 --> 00:03:18,799 Speaker 2: really shared too much about us, So why. 65 00:03:18,680 --> 00:03:20,160 Speaker 4: Are you the bloody? 66 00:03:20,160 --> 00:03:23,160 Speaker 2: How you've been up too lately? Well, I feel like 67 00:03:23,200 --> 00:03:27,480 Speaker 2: life has been full throttle at the moment. Moving house, 68 00:03:28,160 --> 00:03:32,760 Speaker 2: Ron c is popping off business my clients, Like, there's 69 00:03:32,800 --> 00:03:35,800 Speaker 2: just so much happening. But I am fully embracing it's 70 00:03:35,800 --> 00:03:39,000 Speaker 2: the season that I'm in and loving every second even 71 00:03:39,040 --> 00:03:41,880 Speaker 2: though it's scary and hard and you know, all those 72 00:03:41,880 --> 00:03:43,800 Speaker 2: things as well, but trusting. 73 00:03:43,440 --> 00:03:44,920 Speaker 4: That it's all working out. 74 00:03:45,040 --> 00:03:46,720 Speaker 2: You know, about ten to mine. I keep pulling the 75 00:03:46,720 --> 00:03:49,440 Speaker 2: card lucky Girl era, so things are looking up. 76 00:03:49,480 --> 00:03:50,200 Speaker 4: Things are looking up. 77 00:03:50,240 --> 00:03:52,640 Speaker 2: Now, may be scared, but I keep pulling that card. 78 00:03:52,720 --> 00:03:55,240 Speaker 2: So it's all working out. So yeah, I feel like, 79 00:03:55,400 --> 00:03:58,120 Speaker 2: but you've been much the same. Hey, life's been. It's 80 00:03:58,160 --> 00:03:58,760 Speaker 2: all happening. 81 00:03:58,880 --> 00:04:01,800 Speaker 3: Jamie and I were saying, yes that, like we keep 82 00:04:01,840 --> 00:04:03,840 Speaker 3: saying there's so much happening right now, there's so much 83 00:04:03,840 --> 00:04:07,400 Speaker 3: happening right now. Maybe that's just not so much. Maybe 84 00:04:07,400 --> 00:04:08,560 Speaker 3: that's just normal. 85 00:04:08,600 --> 00:04:11,040 Speaker 2: Or you know our classic Oh it's been a crazy month. 86 00:04:11,320 --> 00:04:13,680 Speaker 2: I can't believe it's today, Like just for the last 87 00:04:13,720 --> 00:04:15,520 Speaker 2: two years, every single. 88 00:04:15,320 --> 00:04:17,760 Speaker 3: Month, like God, so much happened is I think we 89 00:04:17,839 --> 00:04:19,839 Speaker 3: just need to stop saying that because it's normal. 90 00:04:20,000 --> 00:04:22,719 Speaker 2: But what if I saw this girl talking on her 91 00:04:22,760 --> 00:04:25,039 Speaker 2: Instagram story yesday and she was saying her client was 92 00:04:25,040 --> 00:04:27,800 Speaker 2: feeling so overwhelmed and She's like, what if you just 93 00:04:28,000 --> 00:04:31,440 Speaker 2: changed flip the script and was like, I'm upgrading, and 94 00:04:31,480 --> 00:04:34,560 Speaker 2: we're just constantly upgrading. But I think it's just who 95 00:04:34,600 --> 00:04:38,040 Speaker 2: we are as people because we are always striving for more. 96 00:04:38,040 --> 00:04:40,280 Speaker 2: We're always trying to better our ourselves. We're always trying 97 00:04:40,320 --> 00:04:42,719 Speaker 2: to you know, excel in all the things in life. 98 00:04:43,040 --> 00:04:46,600 Speaker 2: So we keep attracting that because we bring it into 99 00:04:46,600 --> 00:04:49,200 Speaker 2: our life, like we're the only common denominator here. 100 00:04:49,320 --> 00:04:50,520 Speaker 4: I know, but I want less. 101 00:04:50,800 --> 00:04:54,520 Speaker 3: I want simple, Like I am a bit tired of 102 00:04:54,640 --> 00:04:57,680 Speaker 3: having fifty things on my to do list after I 103 00:04:57,760 --> 00:04:59,360 Speaker 3: finish work that I never get through. 104 00:04:59,400 --> 00:05:02,680 Speaker 4: I'm being a bit here. I'm sorry, everybody, Sorry, but 105 00:05:03,440 --> 00:05:04,360 Speaker 4: I want simple. 106 00:05:05,360 --> 00:05:07,440 Speaker 2: But you'd say that, and I bet you'd be bored. 107 00:05:08,160 --> 00:05:10,640 Speaker 2: I hate it after a day, he trust me. You 108 00:05:10,720 --> 00:05:12,640 Speaker 2: just the grass is always green on them side. You've 109 00:05:12,640 --> 00:05:14,480 Speaker 2: got to learn to water now, I know. 110 00:05:14,760 --> 00:05:15,159 Speaker 4: We're just. 111 00:05:15,240 --> 00:05:18,400 Speaker 3: Hey, you've been in this with me, shut up the. 112 00:05:18,440 --> 00:05:22,120 Speaker 2: Last I know. Then I keep reminding myself, like like 113 00:05:22,279 --> 00:05:25,440 Speaker 2: I truly keep saying to myself, I asked for this. 114 00:05:25,560 --> 00:05:27,960 Speaker 2: I asked to have a full time job and work 115 00:05:28,160 --> 00:05:30,800 Speaker 2: and have a business. I asked to move house. I 116 00:05:30,800 --> 00:05:33,359 Speaker 2: asked to have all these things. I've got to embrace 117 00:05:33,400 --> 00:05:36,600 Speaker 2: it and be grateful because the alternatives if not having 118 00:05:36,600 --> 00:05:38,520 Speaker 2: those things, and I love them. So it is, but 119 00:05:38,560 --> 00:05:42,720 Speaker 2: there's also room for you can feel what you want 120 00:05:42,720 --> 00:05:44,200 Speaker 2: to feel. You know, like you don't have to always 121 00:05:44,240 --> 00:05:47,039 Speaker 2: be toxically positive, not saying that you are, but like, 122 00:05:47,080 --> 00:05:49,480 Speaker 2: I feel like the time, we're always like you have 123 00:05:49,520 --> 00:05:51,120 Speaker 2: to be grateful and you have to be happy. Like 124 00:05:51,200 --> 00:05:52,560 Speaker 2: sometimes you can just have it. 125 00:05:52,600 --> 00:05:54,960 Speaker 3: We feels where you're like, you know what, I'm really 126 00:05:55,000 --> 00:05:57,880 Speaker 3: tired and exhausted and I want to be a little 127 00:05:57,880 --> 00:05:59,880 Speaker 3: bit like Sooki for a week and then you pick 128 00:05:59,920 --> 00:06:01,560 Speaker 3: up and you move on and you're all good again. 129 00:06:01,960 --> 00:06:03,159 Speaker 4: Sometimes it's like that though. 130 00:06:03,040 --> 00:06:05,800 Speaker 2: So sometimes it happens in the same cycle every month. 131 00:06:05,880 --> 00:06:08,600 Speaker 2: You're so overwhelmed because you're like and then oh, just 132 00:06:08,640 --> 00:06:09,200 Speaker 2: kind of a period. 133 00:06:09,640 --> 00:06:14,040 Speaker 3: Yeah, give yourself grace because you know, especially women hormones, 134 00:06:14,080 --> 00:06:16,760 Speaker 3: sometimes you can be like thriving and you're like so 135 00:06:16,839 --> 00:06:20,480 Speaker 3: happy and upbeat and positive, and other weeks like Jamie, 136 00:06:20,880 --> 00:06:24,320 Speaker 3: this week is nauseous every five seconds, She's like, well, 137 00:06:24,720 --> 00:06:25,960 Speaker 3: she's like too much. 138 00:06:26,520 --> 00:06:27,240 Speaker 4: It's the vibe. 139 00:06:27,279 --> 00:06:31,120 Speaker 2: It's the hormonal vibe. Anyways, enough about what we've been 140 00:06:31,200 --> 00:06:34,040 Speaker 2: up to. Let's get into what you're all here for, 141 00:06:34,400 --> 00:06:36,680 Speaker 2: dating and relationships. 142 00:06:35,960 --> 00:06:37,880 Speaker 4: The juice, kure, the music. 143 00:06:41,080 --> 00:06:43,760 Speaker 3: Let's start with dating. So it's been a while since 144 00:06:43,800 --> 00:06:47,120 Speaker 3: we've actually officially dated, but we know a lot about 145 00:06:47,320 --> 00:06:50,160 Speaker 3: you know, in terms of being a human and the 146 00:06:50,200 --> 00:06:53,599 Speaker 3: things that you should probably work on and go into dating. 147 00:06:54,040 --> 00:06:57,279 Speaker 3: A lot of it is about the mindset, you know. 148 00:06:57,360 --> 00:06:59,839 Speaker 3: You see a lot of people that really want a partner, 149 00:07:00,240 --> 00:07:03,279 Speaker 3: they want to kind of complete that other half of them. 150 00:07:03,400 --> 00:07:06,240 Speaker 3: But we think so strongly that it's really important to 151 00:07:06,720 --> 00:07:09,920 Speaker 3: go in as a whole person first, do the work 152 00:07:09,960 --> 00:07:13,080 Speaker 3: on yourself first, and so then you can seek out 153 00:07:13,080 --> 00:07:17,160 Speaker 3: that person out of curiosity and complementing yourself as opposed 154 00:07:17,200 --> 00:07:18,080 Speaker 3: to desperation. 155 00:07:19,000 --> 00:07:22,120 Speaker 2: I think it's also important to note though you won't 156 00:07:22,160 --> 00:07:25,320 Speaker 2: always go into a relationship with everything healed and all 157 00:07:25,400 --> 00:07:29,200 Speaker 2: your like. That is a part of going through self 158 00:07:29,200 --> 00:07:32,560 Speaker 2: development your whole life, but kind of coming in from 159 00:07:32,560 --> 00:07:36,000 Speaker 2: it at the energy of I'm so happy on my own, 160 00:07:36,080 --> 00:07:38,360 Speaker 2: I've filled up my cup so much, I've given myself 161 00:07:38,400 --> 00:07:42,280 Speaker 2: the love. So you are coming into that, you know, 162 00:07:42,440 --> 00:07:45,760 Speaker 2: dating scene and everything like that from a place of 163 00:07:47,440 --> 00:07:49,520 Speaker 2: not from a place of wounding or not from a 164 00:07:49,560 --> 00:07:52,920 Speaker 2: place of all except whatever I can get, because I 165 00:07:53,000 --> 00:07:54,720 Speaker 2: just don't want to be on my own, because that's 166 00:07:54,760 --> 00:07:57,040 Speaker 2: when you'll have a relationship that you don't get the 167 00:07:57,080 --> 00:07:59,560 Speaker 2: love you deserve, you don't get treated the way you should, 168 00:08:00,360 --> 00:08:02,720 Speaker 2: and we are not having that. No, And if you 169 00:08:02,800 --> 00:08:04,360 Speaker 2: are queens and you deserve the world. 170 00:08:04,640 --> 00:08:06,360 Speaker 3: If you're kind of hearing this and being like, oh, 171 00:08:06,480 --> 00:08:09,520 Speaker 3: that's me a little bit, just reflect and you'll notice 172 00:08:09,560 --> 00:08:14,080 Speaker 3: that if you've gone into you know, dating or situationships 173 00:08:14,360 --> 00:08:16,960 Speaker 3: and you have had a bit of that energy, maybe 174 00:08:17,000 --> 00:08:19,800 Speaker 3: the same cycles happened a few times. Maybe you've been 175 00:08:19,840 --> 00:08:21,880 Speaker 3: through this same process and you're kind of like, what 176 00:08:22,040 --> 00:08:24,760 Speaker 3: is going on? Why can't I find this personal? Why 177 00:08:24,800 --> 00:08:27,400 Speaker 3: isn't it working out? I feel like a lot of 178 00:08:27,400 --> 00:08:29,800 Speaker 3: the time this is lessons and it's like something you 179 00:08:29,840 --> 00:08:33,200 Speaker 3: need to heal or work on before you meet that 180 00:08:33,280 --> 00:08:35,679 Speaker 3: right person at the right time. But all of it 181 00:08:35,679 --> 00:08:39,520 Speaker 3: it's just a big like it's a chance to improve yourself, 182 00:08:39,840 --> 00:08:42,480 Speaker 3: to work on things, to have things highlighted that you know, 183 00:08:43,160 --> 00:08:45,960 Speaker 3: lessons that you need to work on. So again, if 184 00:08:46,000 --> 00:08:49,319 Speaker 3: you take it as like a curiosity, I'm going to 185 00:08:49,440 --> 00:08:51,440 Speaker 3: learn so much from this as opposed to like the 186 00:08:51,559 --> 00:08:53,000 Speaker 3: desperate energy. 187 00:08:53,520 --> 00:08:56,400 Speaker 2: Yeah, it's like such a different place to be. And 188 00:08:56,400 --> 00:08:59,240 Speaker 2: because I know before I had my first boyfriend, like 189 00:08:59,320 --> 00:09:02,000 Speaker 2: I held out for a while into I think I 190 00:09:02,040 --> 00:09:03,800 Speaker 2: was like twenty one when I had my first boyfriend, 191 00:09:03,840 --> 00:09:08,000 Speaker 2: which was like after all of my other friends, which 192 00:09:08,080 --> 00:09:11,720 Speaker 2: is fine, but I was very, very hell bent on 193 00:09:11,760 --> 00:09:15,000 Speaker 2: the fact that I was going to be happy within myself, 194 00:09:15,040 --> 00:09:18,440 Speaker 2: give myself all of the love, give everything that I needed, 195 00:09:18,480 --> 00:09:20,920 Speaker 2: so then that person would be from overflow and they 196 00:09:20,920 --> 00:09:23,840 Speaker 2: would add to my life. It wasn't they were completing 197 00:09:23,880 --> 00:09:26,600 Speaker 2: my life or they were giving me something I couldn't 198 00:09:26,600 --> 00:09:29,959 Speaker 2: give myself. So I was probably a bit like hell 199 00:09:30,080 --> 00:09:32,080 Speaker 2: bent on that. I was like, I have to have this, 200 00:09:32,200 --> 00:09:35,080 Speaker 2: which it definitely doesn't have to be that way. But 201 00:09:35,679 --> 00:09:38,920 Speaker 2: I then had such, you know, a beautiful experience within 202 00:09:38,960 --> 00:09:42,120 Speaker 2: that relationship because it was from such overflow. It was 203 00:09:42,640 --> 00:09:44,680 Speaker 2: I was so happy on my own that they were 204 00:09:44,720 --> 00:09:47,840 Speaker 2: adding to my life in such from such a good place. 205 00:09:47,880 --> 00:09:51,400 Speaker 2: So I think there's so much like hidden power within 206 00:09:51,440 --> 00:09:53,640 Speaker 2: that and hidden beauty within that that people don't really 207 00:09:53,640 --> 00:09:55,880 Speaker 2: speak about enough. And you hear it a lot when 208 00:09:55,920 --> 00:09:58,440 Speaker 2: people are going through breakups. Like give yourself the love 209 00:09:58,480 --> 00:10:01,640 Speaker 2: that you deserve and focus on you and everything will happen. 210 00:10:01,679 --> 00:10:04,839 Speaker 2: But it truly is like if you're on your own 211 00:10:04,920 --> 00:10:07,640 Speaker 2: and you're not necessarily in a breakup or anything like that, 212 00:10:07,760 --> 00:10:11,920 Speaker 2: like make sure you are giving yourself everything that you 213 00:10:11,960 --> 00:10:13,920 Speaker 2: would want someone else to give to you too. So 214 00:10:14,040 --> 00:10:17,040 Speaker 2: then it is from that really beautiful energy. 215 00:10:17,400 --> 00:10:20,600 Speaker 3: And I feel like when you're approaching it that way, 216 00:10:20,760 --> 00:10:25,240 Speaker 3: you can kind of go in with standards rather than expectations, 217 00:10:25,320 --> 00:10:28,000 Speaker 3: like you know what you will and won't accept. You 218 00:10:28,040 --> 00:10:29,880 Speaker 3: know what you want in a relationship, how you want 219 00:10:29,880 --> 00:10:32,680 Speaker 3: to feel, because you're not willing to accept anything less 220 00:10:32,720 --> 00:10:35,960 Speaker 3: because you know that you're not relying on that. So 221 00:10:36,040 --> 00:10:38,800 Speaker 3: then you go in with these standards and boundaries that 222 00:10:38,840 --> 00:10:42,640 Speaker 3: are healthy as opposed to having these like toxic expectations 223 00:10:43,040 --> 00:10:46,160 Speaker 3: that might be unrealistic because you just want so much love, 224 00:10:46,720 --> 00:10:49,360 Speaker 3: but actually you're supposed to get half of that from yourself, 225 00:10:49,400 --> 00:10:52,040 Speaker 3: so you're placing it all on this other person, which 226 00:10:52,080 --> 00:10:55,040 Speaker 3: is just it's not going to work out. That's why 227 00:10:55,040 --> 00:10:57,240 Speaker 3: a lot of the time, you know, doing this kind 228 00:10:57,280 --> 00:11:00,880 Speaker 3: of work before, it's to set you up in right levels, 229 00:11:00,920 --> 00:11:03,400 Speaker 3: and you know, so that you can give and take 230 00:11:03,480 --> 00:11:05,680 Speaker 3: in the dating and have that nice balance so it's 231 00:11:05,720 --> 00:11:07,880 Speaker 3: not just all taking taking. You know, you're in that 232 00:11:07,960 --> 00:11:09,920 Speaker 3: good place to do a bit of both. 233 00:11:10,120 --> 00:11:13,240 Speaker 2: And from like a shadow work lens or a lens 234 00:11:13,320 --> 00:11:16,000 Speaker 2: of what you kind of your subconscious will attract into 235 00:11:16,120 --> 00:11:19,680 Speaker 2: your life. In the dating world and in a relationship world, 236 00:11:20,040 --> 00:11:25,079 Speaker 2: you will actually call in someone that like reveals your 237 00:11:25,480 --> 00:11:29,080 Speaker 2: mirrors and reveals your triggers and reveals your wounds because 238 00:11:29,120 --> 00:11:31,920 Speaker 2: you are choosing, like you choose love from a wounded place. 239 00:11:32,160 --> 00:11:36,319 Speaker 2: That's how that's how we seek out love and affection 240 00:11:36,480 --> 00:11:39,240 Speaker 2: from things maybe we didn't have as a child or 241 00:11:39,280 --> 00:11:43,000 Speaker 2: whatever it is. So to be able to navigate that 242 00:11:43,040 --> 00:11:45,319 Speaker 2: and go through that personal growth journey, you know, you're 243 00:11:45,360 --> 00:11:48,760 Speaker 2: choosing someone who's aligned for your higher self, not someone 244 00:11:48,800 --> 00:11:52,480 Speaker 2: that's aligned to maybe your wounded self or whatever it is, 245 00:11:52,480 --> 00:11:55,600 Speaker 2: because that's kind of where we always choose love from 246 00:11:55,679 --> 00:11:57,160 Speaker 2: and what we accept love from. 247 00:11:57,320 --> 00:12:00,800 Speaker 3: Yeah, And that's like, you know, you hear people saying, like, oh, 248 00:12:00,840 --> 00:12:03,360 Speaker 3: my type or whatever it is, and they've ended up 249 00:12:03,440 --> 00:12:05,960 Speaker 3: choosing their type so many times and all of those 250 00:12:05,960 --> 00:12:08,920 Speaker 3: relationships haven't worked out, and then something happens and they 251 00:12:08,920 --> 00:12:12,160 Speaker 3: meet this unexpected person who's not their type, and they 252 00:12:12,240 --> 00:12:14,200 Speaker 3: end up being their soul way and the best person 253 00:12:14,320 --> 00:12:18,840 Speaker 3: because their type was formed based on all of these 254 00:12:18,880 --> 00:12:22,320 Speaker 3: things from their past, their wounds out of a bad place. 255 00:12:22,360 --> 00:12:24,160 Speaker 3: And then you get stuck in that cycle looking for 256 00:12:24,200 --> 00:12:26,679 Speaker 3: that same person that you think is you're right, but 257 00:12:26,720 --> 00:12:29,080 Speaker 3: it's actually not. And then it takes someone like that 258 00:12:29,160 --> 00:12:31,840 Speaker 3: to surprise you to be like, oh wow, they actually 259 00:12:31,960 --> 00:12:33,439 Speaker 3: really value this and this and this. 260 00:12:33,520 --> 00:12:34,600 Speaker 4: I just wasn't open to it. 261 00:12:35,440 --> 00:12:37,199 Speaker 2: And it's not to say that you have to go 262 00:12:37,280 --> 00:12:39,720 Speaker 2: through you know, self growth before you're in a relationships, 263 00:12:39,760 --> 00:12:43,400 Speaker 2: because like we are always there's always wounds that we 264 00:12:43,440 --> 00:12:45,480 Speaker 2: need to heal, no matter what where we're at in 265 00:12:45,520 --> 00:12:47,960 Speaker 2: life or how old we are, whatever it is, there's 266 00:12:48,000 --> 00:12:52,040 Speaker 2: always a deeper laye of layel l laale. There's always 267 00:12:52,040 --> 00:12:55,000 Speaker 2: a deeper level of wounding to go through. But it's 268 00:12:55,160 --> 00:13:01,000 Speaker 2: just to then approach the dating scene from your best 269 00:13:01,080 --> 00:13:03,560 Speaker 2: self at that time, because then there's always going to 270 00:13:03,600 --> 00:13:05,040 Speaker 2: be more things you're going to move through a way. 271 00:13:05,120 --> 00:13:06,320 Speaker 2: So it's not to say. 272 00:13:06,120 --> 00:13:08,680 Speaker 3: Like no, but I feel like it would just give 273 00:13:08,760 --> 00:13:14,600 Speaker 3: you that confidence and that attractive appeal if you're using 274 00:13:15,400 --> 00:13:17,560 Speaker 3: I know who I am, and I know what I 275 00:13:17,559 --> 00:13:20,560 Speaker 3: will and won't stand for. That's gonna like that will 276 00:13:20,559 --> 00:13:23,720 Speaker 3: be attractive. Yes, that energy in people think about someone 277 00:13:23,760 --> 00:13:26,559 Speaker 3: that you know that's got that, just like magnetic energy. 278 00:13:26,679 --> 00:13:27,040 Speaker 4: It's that. 279 00:13:27,840 --> 00:13:30,120 Speaker 3: So if you're going in and you're like, this is 280 00:13:30,120 --> 00:13:33,000 Speaker 3: who I am, this is what I want, here's what 281 00:13:33,040 --> 00:13:34,440 Speaker 3: I kind of want from you, we can have all 282 00:13:34,440 --> 00:13:36,880 Speaker 3: this fun together, blah blah blah. I just think that 283 00:13:37,160 --> 00:13:40,080 Speaker 3: would be such a better foundation to start on. 284 00:13:40,679 --> 00:13:44,680 Speaker 2: And I think even from like a dynamic situation of 285 00:13:45,400 --> 00:13:49,120 Speaker 2: going in with that energy too, and you not coming 286 00:13:49,120 --> 00:13:52,080 Speaker 2: in with that like I'll sit my plans around you 287 00:13:52,200 --> 00:13:54,280 Speaker 2: or I'll make it work in whatever way, because then 288 00:13:54,679 --> 00:13:58,760 Speaker 2: you know that person will understand that they have you 289 00:13:59,400 --> 00:14:03,040 Speaker 2: whenever they need you, and they won't really treat you 290 00:14:03,080 --> 00:14:05,200 Speaker 2: with you know, time, respect, and all of those sorts 291 00:14:05,200 --> 00:14:06,959 Speaker 2: of things. So coming in with that energy and being 292 00:14:07,000 --> 00:14:09,840 Speaker 2: really strong in that and strong in your boundaries, knowing 293 00:14:09,880 --> 00:14:12,240 Speaker 2: what you're after and what you're looking for, you're going 294 00:14:12,320 --> 00:14:15,720 Speaker 2: to have such a different experience with the dating world, 295 00:14:16,240 --> 00:14:18,680 Speaker 2: really them understanding that you're the prize. 296 00:14:18,800 --> 00:14:21,920 Speaker 3: Yes, and also, like you hear so many negative stories 297 00:14:21,960 --> 00:14:25,160 Speaker 3: about the dating pool and scene but it's like a 298 00:14:25,200 --> 00:14:27,480 Speaker 3: lot of the time, I'm sure people put, you know, 299 00:14:27,600 --> 00:14:29,800 Speaker 3: a lot of the blame on other people and say 300 00:14:30,280 --> 00:14:32,360 Speaker 3: Craig or Sally or whoever, like was this or this 301 00:14:32,480 --> 00:14:35,440 Speaker 3: or this, But it's like, if these things keep happening, 302 00:14:36,160 --> 00:14:38,440 Speaker 3: a bit of tough love, but it is a reflection 303 00:14:38,520 --> 00:14:41,760 Speaker 3: of like not right here either, I'm going for the 304 00:14:41,840 --> 00:14:42,400 Speaker 3: wrong people. 305 00:14:42,480 --> 00:14:43,880 Speaker 4: I'm going in with the wrong approach. 306 00:14:44,000 --> 00:14:46,920 Speaker 3: And I told someone recently, I was having this conversation 307 00:14:47,000 --> 00:14:49,320 Speaker 3: with someone I know who's dating, and I said, pitch 308 00:14:49,400 --> 00:14:53,280 Speaker 3: me right now who you are and say only positive things. 309 00:14:53,320 --> 00:14:55,280 Speaker 3: Tell me a bit about who you are, what you've 310 00:14:55,280 --> 00:14:59,640 Speaker 3: got to offer, and say it only positively, And she couldn't, 311 00:15:00,600 --> 00:15:02,640 Speaker 3: you know, And it's like, how can you go into 312 00:15:02,760 --> 00:15:05,760 Speaker 3: dating like that? Then if you even show off, you're 313 00:15:05,840 --> 00:15:07,880 Speaker 3: kind of you know, because it is the first little 314 00:15:07,880 --> 00:15:10,280 Speaker 3: bit you are kind of like peacocking a little bit. 315 00:15:10,320 --> 00:15:13,000 Speaker 3: You're like, I'm this great person, like blah blah blah. 316 00:15:13,000 --> 00:15:15,720 Speaker 3: You kind of go with your best cards forward truthfully 317 00:15:15,720 --> 00:15:19,120 Speaker 3: and authentically. But you do so, then if you aren't 318 00:15:19,120 --> 00:15:21,080 Speaker 3: even really sure of what you've got to offer, or 319 00:15:21,360 --> 00:15:25,520 Speaker 3: you can't figure out the good things about you, it's 320 00:15:25,560 --> 00:15:27,800 Speaker 3: like you know, it's not really going to end in 321 00:15:27,840 --> 00:15:31,640 Speaker 3: the healthiest, most valuable dating experience, I don't think. 322 00:15:31,840 --> 00:15:36,800 Speaker 2: And if you also see your own self worth at 323 00:15:36,800 --> 00:15:40,840 Speaker 2: that low point, you will accept less, Like you will 324 00:15:40,880 --> 00:15:43,320 Speaker 2: accept any little bit of love or any little like 325 00:15:43,960 --> 00:15:46,840 Speaker 2: dropping of anything because you don't think you're worthy of more. So, 326 00:15:47,000 --> 00:15:50,120 Speaker 2: really like leaning into you are the prize, you are 327 00:15:50,160 --> 00:15:53,840 Speaker 2: the queen or king, you are the price whatever, and 328 00:15:53,880 --> 00:15:58,920 Speaker 2: that you are worthy of the love and everything, Like you're. 329 00:15:59,200 --> 00:16:01,320 Speaker 3: That has to believe it. Yes, not them, It's not 330 00:16:01,360 --> 00:16:03,520 Speaker 3: the people you're dating. It's you that has to believe 331 00:16:03,560 --> 00:16:06,280 Speaker 3: that first. Yeah, So what do you think if there's 332 00:16:06,320 --> 00:16:08,800 Speaker 3: someone who's dating and they're listening to this and they're like, yes, 333 00:16:09,280 --> 00:16:11,200 Speaker 3: I want to do this work, but like what is 334 00:16:11,240 --> 00:16:13,680 Speaker 3: the work? What do I do? What do you recommend? 335 00:16:14,560 --> 00:16:16,720 Speaker 3: Is things they can do before they start dating or 336 00:16:17,160 --> 00:16:18,240 Speaker 3: color for themselves? 337 00:16:18,960 --> 00:16:21,960 Speaker 2: Well, I mean, there's it's so hard because there's so 338 00:16:22,040 --> 00:16:24,960 Speaker 2: much out there. There's so many podcasts, courses, and I 339 00:16:25,040 --> 00:16:29,160 Speaker 2: think a lot of the time that is also a distraction. 340 00:16:29,640 --> 00:16:33,560 Speaker 2: I think understanding Like sometimes I'm like, you find one 341 00:16:33,600 --> 00:16:35,600 Speaker 2: person that you really resonate with and you listen to 342 00:16:35,640 --> 00:16:38,760 Speaker 2: that and you don't go into because you could whatever 343 00:16:38,800 --> 00:16:40,840 Speaker 2: belief you have, you could find someone that supports it, 344 00:16:41,120 --> 00:16:42,920 Speaker 2: you know kind of thing. So if you go and 345 00:16:42,960 --> 00:16:45,440 Speaker 2: listen to absolutely everything out there, you're probably going to 346 00:16:45,480 --> 00:16:49,640 Speaker 2: end up in self development paralysis where you don't actually integrate. 347 00:16:49,720 --> 00:16:51,600 Speaker 2: And I was actually talking to Cinder about this to 348 00:16:51,760 --> 00:16:54,760 Speaker 2: the other day, and she's like, people just they feed 349 00:16:54,800 --> 00:16:56,840 Speaker 2: their minds with podcasts and all that, but they don't 350 00:16:56,840 --> 00:16:59,520 Speaker 2: actually integrate or change anything. They just wear it as 351 00:16:59,520 --> 00:17:01,480 Speaker 2: a badge of that. I listen to all of these 352 00:17:01,480 --> 00:17:05,160 Speaker 2: different things, which is amazing, but then nothing shifts because 353 00:17:05,200 --> 00:17:08,360 Speaker 2: they don't actually do the work to integrate. So I 354 00:17:08,440 --> 00:17:12,160 Speaker 2: think the best thing is understanding and learning self reflection 355 00:17:12,520 --> 00:17:15,399 Speaker 2: and looking at, you know, the because every relationship in 356 00:17:15,440 --> 00:17:17,480 Speaker 2: your life is a mirror. Looking at all of the 357 00:17:17,560 --> 00:17:21,280 Speaker 2: relationships you have, whether that's with family or friends, colleagues, 358 00:17:21,280 --> 00:17:24,600 Speaker 2: whoever it is, and really look at the parts that 359 00:17:24,800 --> 00:17:29,080 Speaker 2: you're feeling triggered by them or maybe you're judging them 360 00:17:29,119 --> 00:17:32,520 Speaker 2: for and you will find the parts in you that 361 00:17:32,560 --> 00:17:35,000 Speaker 2: your relationships are revealing to you that need to be healed. 362 00:17:35,440 --> 00:17:38,399 Speaker 2: So going and looking at those things and then getting 363 00:17:38,440 --> 00:17:42,360 Speaker 2: a journal or however you kind of self reflect and 364 00:17:42,400 --> 00:17:46,159 Speaker 2: writing down what is this relationship teaching me, what is 365 00:17:46,200 --> 00:17:49,399 Speaker 2: this relationship showing me, and starting to look into those 366 00:17:49,800 --> 00:17:52,080 Speaker 2: things that you could heal, so you're not bringing in 367 00:17:52,119 --> 00:17:54,960 Speaker 2: another dynamic that is going to play into that. 368 00:17:55,160 --> 00:17:57,600 Speaker 3: Yeah, I agree, I love that, And I think also 369 00:17:57,680 --> 00:18:02,400 Speaker 3: giving yourself the space to do that because often the thoughts, 370 00:18:02,440 --> 00:18:06,760 Speaker 3: the reflections, all of these things coming in when you've 371 00:18:06,760 --> 00:18:09,600 Speaker 3: got the space and mental capacity for it. Like that's 372 00:18:09,600 --> 00:18:11,560 Speaker 3: why sometimes when you're driving or you're in the shower 373 00:18:12,119 --> 00:18:14,439 Speaker 3: and nothing else is going on, these things pop in 374 00:18:14,440 --> 00:18:16,639 Speaker 3: your head because you've got a bit of this space 375 00:18:16,680 --> 00:18:19,240 Speaker 3: and calm for it. So if you're in this process 376 00:18:19,320 --> 00:18:21,440 Speaker 3: right now, if this is your reality, like being on 377 00:18:21,480 --> 00:18:24,480 Speaker 3: the dating scene, trying to work on yourself, just make sure, 378 00:18:24,520 --> 00:18:26,920 Speaker 3: you know, maybe every Saturday or Sunday morning you take 379 00:18:26,960 --> 00:18:29,399 Speaker 3: yourself and get a coffee and go to the beach 380 00:18:29,520 --> 00:18:31,520 Speaker 3: and just sit there with the journal and just kind 381 00:18:31,520 --> 00:18:33,879 Speaker 3: of see what comes out, or you know, listen to 382 00:18:33,920 --> 00:18:36,040 Speaker 3: something and then think about it afterwards. Like, really give 383 00:18:36,080 --> 00:18:40,600 Speaker 3: yourself the time and space to reflect and think about 384 00:18:40,640 --> 00:18:42,800 Speaker 3: maybe some little changes you can make, or some action 385 00:18:42,880 --> 00:18:45,520 Speaker 3: steps you can do, or if you have some high 386 00:18:45,600 --> 00:18:47,679 Speaker 3: vibe friends talk to them about it and be like, 387 00:18:48,320 --> 00:18:50,120 Speaker 3: what do you think? How could I work on this? 388 00:18:50,280 --> 00:18:53,000 Speaker 3: You know, just to kind of have those conversations. I 389 00:18:53,000 --> 00:18:54,160 Speaker 3: think that's really meaningful. 390 00:18:54,520 --> 00:18:57,600 Speaker 2: And I think also look at if you have this 391 00:18:57,760 --> 00:19:00,400 Speaker 2: or not, your dating history, So what is how happened 392 00:19:00,440 --> 00:19:04,639 Speaker 2: in previous relationships, previous situationships, what has gone on, what 393 00:19:04,680 --> 00:19:07,680 Speaker 2: has been the biggest you know, maybe fights that you've 394 00:19:07,720 --> 00:19:09,840 Speaker 2: had or conversations that you've had or things that have 395 00:19:09,920 --> 00:19:12,600 Speaker 2: gone wrong, or what kind of energy will you coming 396 00:19:12,640 --> 00:19:15,160 Speaker 2: into the situation from And start to really look at 397 00:19:15,160 --> 00:19:17,439 Speaker 2: what those patterns are, because it will teach you a 398 00:19:17,480 --> 00:19:19,960 Speaker 2: lot about, you know, where your self worth is sitting. 399 00:19:20,000 --> 00:19:21,920 Speaker 2: It will teach you a lot about where your beliefs 400 00:19:21,920 --> 00:19:24,720 Speaker 2: are sitting. It will show you so much that you 401 00:19:24,760 --> 00:19:28,160 Speaker 2: would have never realized. You would have just thought probably 402 00:19:28,280 --> 00:19:31,679 Speaker 2: that it was their fault or wrong time or whatever 403 00:19:31,720 --> 00:19:33,800 Speaker 2: it is. But when you really look at it deeply, 404 00:19:34,400 --> 00:19:36,880 Speaker 2: you will find that there's a pattern or something that's 405 00:19:36,920 --> 00:19:40,280 Speaker 2: coming up, Yes, that has been repeatedly coming up, and 406 00:19:40,320 --> 00:19:43,480 Speaker 2: it probably comes up in your other relationships. Might come 407 00:19:43,520 --> 00:19:45,520 Speaker 2: up with how you treat money, It might come out 408 00:19:45,640 --> 00:19:49,040 Speaker 2: with how you navigate your career whatever it is, and 409 00:19:49,080 --> 00:19:50,440 Speaker 2: that will show you so much. 410 00:19:50,720 --> 00:19:53,400 Speaker 4: And keep in mind, this is not easy to do. 411 00:19:53,840 --> 00:19:57,320 Speaker 3: It's not fun and light work to look at all 412 00:19:57,359 --> 00:19:59,879 Speaker 3: of the things that are you know, quote unquote wrong 413 00:20:00,200 --> 00:20:04,159 Speaker 3: with you, aren't the best part of you. It's a 414 00:20:04,160 --> 00:20:06,040 Speaker 3: bit of a tough process, and it takes a bit 415 00:20:06,080 --> 00:20:08,920 Speaker 3: of like a swallowing your pride and being like, actually, 416 00:20:09,119 --> 00:20:12,440 Speaker 3: the last three situationships I've had, yeah, I actually did 417 00:20:12,440 --> 00:20:14,760 Speaker 3: bring that in that energy or I was doing this, 418 00:20:15,280 --> 00:20:17,399 Speaker 3: it's not you know, you do have to face it 419 00:20:17,440 --> 00:20:20,560 Speaker 3: and take some responsibility. But the good thing is that 420 00:20:20,600 --> 00:20:23,920 Speaker 3: everybody's in the same boat. Like, just because you realize 421 00:20:23,920 --> 00:20:26,159 Speaker 3: that you bring this thing in when you're when you're dating, 422 00:20:26,720 --> 00:20:31,159 Speaker 3: you're not a bad person or you're not the only problem. Like, 423 00:20:31,560 --> 00:20:34,919 Speaker 3: it's just taking some self responsibility, investing in yourself and 424 00:20:34,960 --> 00:20:37,919 Speaker 3: knowing that you want and deserve better and you're putting 425 00:20:37,960 --> 00:20:40,080 Speaker 3: in the time and effort to try and make sure 426 00:20:40,119 --> 00:20:43,520 Speaker 3: that happens in your future. It's choosing and investing in 427 00:20:43,560 --> 00:20:48,280 Speaker 3: yourself which will only bring good things for your future. 428 00:20:48,760 --> 00:20:52,679 Speaker 2: And I think it's also not taking like understanding and 429 00:20:52,720 --> 00:20:56,040 Speaker 2: approaching this from a curiosity lens and not a shameful lens. 430 00:20:56,080 --> 00:20:58,960 Speaker 2: And also I've definitely gotten into the chat when I've 431 00:20:59,040 --> 00:21:02,720 Speaker 2: started to learn about self awareness and responsibility, where I 432 00:21:02,840 --> 00:21:05,800 Speaker 2: had then taken on all of the responsibility from every 433 00:21:05,880 --> 00:21:07,960 Speaker 2: dynamic that I had been in and being like, Okay, 434 00:21:07,960 --> 00:21:09,400 Speaker 2: well this is a mirror and I need to work 435 00:21:09,400 --> 00:21:12,919 Speaker 2: on this, and I've actually gone so far into that, 436 00:21:13,080 --> 00:21:15,760 Speaker 2: which again that is another part of self awareness that 437 00:21:15,800 --> 00:21:18,639 Speaker 2: I had to learn of my ego avoiding conflict because 438 00:21:18,720 --> 00:21:21,240 Speaker 2: then I could take all the responsibility and not bring 439 00:21:21,240 --> 00:21:24,920 Speaker 2: that up in communication or discussion, which was so powerful 440 00:21:24,920 --> 00:21:27,240 Speaker 2: in itself because I thought I was being, you know, 441 00:21:27,400 --> 00:21:29,520 Speaker 2: so self aware in the fact that I was taking 442 00:21:29,560 --> 00:21:32,119 Speaker 2: responsibility for my life and doing all of that, but 443 00:21:32,359 --> 00:21:36,520 Speaker 2: understanding what was your responsibility, what was their responsibility, and 444 00:21:36,560 --> 00:21:40,479 Speaker 2: being able to decipher that because every dynamic there's two 445 00:21:40,520 --> 00:21:44,080 Speaker 2: people at play, there's two you know, shadows, triggers, whatever 446 00:21:44,119 --> 00:21:47,520 Speaker 2: it is. So just like entering with curiosity and not 447 00:21:47,600 --> 00:21:50,160 Speaker 2: then going into like a shame spiral where you take 448 00:21:50,680 --> 00:21:53,399 Speaker 2: all of the responsibility because again it's like there's two 449 00:21:53,440 --> 00:21:56,439 Speaker 2: people in a dynamic. But if you allow that to 450 00:21:56,520 --> 00:22:01,119 Speaker 2: be a really powerful place of reference, so changing, and 451 00:22:01,200 --> 00:22:01,680 Speaker 2: if you think. 452 00:22:01,600 --> 00:22:04,679 Speaker 3: About it, we're all just wounded people walking around with 453 00:22:04,880 --> 00:22:08,560 Speaker 3: beliefs we've gotten from childhood, playing out different things. Like 454 00:22:08,920 --> 00:22:13,640 Speaker 3: we're all just coexisting and having these same experiences, which 455 00:22:13,680 --> 00:22:16,080 Speaker 3: is trying to navigate life while we've got these different 456 00:22:16,160 --> 00:22:19,399 Speaker 3: beliefs and all these types of things. So having the 457 00:22:19,560 --> 00:22:23,240 Speaker 3: grace not shaming yourself and knowing that you know Georgie's 458 00:22:23,240 --> 00:22:25,280 Speaker 3: favorite QUOTEA is always like, keep your side of the 459 00:22:25,320 --> 00:22:28,960 Speaker 3: street clean. If everybody's got their stuff and everybody's wounded. 460 00:22:29,000 --> 00:22:32,680 Speaker 3: If you know that you feel responsible and like you're 461 00:22:32,720 --> 00:22:35,439 Speaker 3: taking care of yourself and your side of the street, 462 00:22:36,080 --> 00:22:39,720 Speaker 3: you'll feel confident going into dating someone because you're like, yes, 463 00:22:39,800 --> 00:22:41,480 Speaker 3: you've got your sheet and I've got my shit, but 464 00:22:41,960 --> 00:22:44,640 Speaker 3: I own my stuff, i know what it is, I'm 465 00:22:44,680 --> 00:22:46,920 Speaker 3: working on it, and I'm not going to let it project. 466 00:22:46,520 --> 00:22:47,200 Speaker 4: All over you. 467 00:22:47,840 --> 00:22:52,560 Speaker 3: Just like being healthily kind of responsible and in control 468 00:22:52,640 --> 00:22:56,119 Speaker 3: of that. Again, don't worry about everyone else's stuff and 469 00:22:56,119 --> 00:22:57,840 Speaker 3: their side of the street. You deal with that when 470 00:22:57,840 --> 00:23:00,640 Speaker 3: you're dating. But if you've got your off on lock, 471 00:23:01,119 --> 00:23:02,119 Speaker 3: that's all you can really do. 472 00:23:02,480 --> 00:23:06,080 Speaker 2: And this goes I think this whole chain of advice 473 00:23:06,640 --> 00:23:10,320 Speaker 2: really goes for dating and relationships, because the work doesn't 474 00:23:10,359 --> 00:23:12,600 Speaker 2: stop once you're in a relationship, or it doesn't stop 475 00:23:12,600 --> 00:23:15,000 Speaker 2: when you get to a certain age, or it is 476 00:23:15,359 --> 00:23:19,439 Speaker 2: forever growing and evolving. And just if you can have 477 00:23:19,480 --> 00:23:22,600 Speaker 2: a handle on that when you know you're as young 478 00:23:22,640 --> 00:23:25,680 Speaker 2: as possible and as early as possible, and really understand 479 00:23:25,760 --> 00:23:28,600 Speaker 2: how to navigate that, and I think also doing that 480 00:23:29,240 --> 00:23:32,080 Speaker 2: when you like, prior to dating, to be able to 481 00:23:32,160 --> 00:23:36,360 Speaker 2: do that when you're not in that because it's it's 482 00:23:36,359 --> 00:23:38,639 Speaker 2: hard to do when you're in a relationship because it 483 00:23:38,760 --> 00:23:41,520 Speaker 2: is so easy to project on that person's and you're 484 00:23:41,560 --> 00:23:44,320 Speaker 2: dealing with also taking care of their communication and their 485 00:23:44,359 --> 00:23:47,040 Speaker 2: needs and their desires. And if you can kind of 486 00:23:47,040 --> 00:23:49,760 Speaker 2: get a handle on that and really understand yourself before 487 00:23:49,800 --> 00:23:53,720 Speaker 2: you get into a relationship, that would be so powerful. 488 00:23:54,080 --> 00:23:57,280 Speaker 2: Like imagine that. Imagine coming into a relationship and understanding 489 00:23:57,280 --> 00:24:02,280 Speaker 2: yourself so much that you just enterdits from such a 490 00:24:02,320 --> 00:24:05,720 Speaker 2: grounded place because then you do have a whole other 491 00:24:05,760 --> 00:24:09,600 Speaker 2: person going through this exact same experience. Yes, to then 492 00:24:09,680 --> 00:24:11,720 Speaker 2: be able to find harmony in balance with all of that. 493 00:24:17,640 --> 00:24:20,760 Speaker 3: Switch gears a little bit now into relationships. If you're 494 00:24:20,760 --> 00:24:24,080 Speaker 3: in a relationship, just always having this at the forefront 495 00:24:24,119 --> 00:24:26,880 Speaker 3: of your mind because it is. It's like your greatest 496 00:24:27,280 --> 00:24:31,320 Speaker 3: lifelong self development project is being in a relationship because 497 00:24:31,320 --> 00:24:34,359 Speaker 3: you're constantly working on yourself. You're constantly working on this 498 00:24:34,400 --> 00:24:37,879 Speaker 3: relationship that you have together. And I think like having, 499 00:24:38,520 --> 00:24:41,440 Speaker 3: you know, setting the intention of maybe having some check ins, 500 00:24:41,480 --> 00:24:44,080 Speaker 3: like maybe once a month or once every couple of months, 501 00:24:44,400 --> 00:24:46,639 Speaker 3: you sit down and you both kind of talk about 502 00:24:46,720 --> 00:24:49,560 Speaker 3: how you're feeling or maybe what you might need in 503 00:24:49,560 --> 00:24:53,080 Speaker 3: a relationship, and just having that constant checkpoint because if 504 00:24:53,119 --> 00:24:55,199 Speaker 3: you just let it go and you never talk or 505 00:24:55,240 --> 00:24:58,040 Speaker 3: think about it, you get more triggered and more triggered 506 00:24:58,040 --> 00:24:59,840 Speaker 3: and more triggered, and all of a sudden, it's form 507 00:25:00,119 --> 00:25:02,359 Speaker 3: slater and you want to rip your head off. And 508 00:25:02,440 --> 00:25:04,480 Speaker 3: they don't know why you're angry, you don't know why 509 00:25:04,520 --> 00:25:05,359 Speaker 3: they're ignoring you. 510 00:25:05,480 --> 00:25:05,800 Speaker 4: Whatever. 511 00:25:05,840 --> 00:25:10,320 Speaker 3: It is like just keeping that communication alive and constant 512 00:25:10,440 --> 00:25:13,960 Speaker 3: and yeah, scheduling in time for that to happen. 513 00:25:14,000 --> 00:25:15,120 Speaker 4: It sounds like. 514 00:25:15,200 --> 00:25:19,320 Speaker 3: So corporate, but it's it's investing in your relationship and 515 00:25:19,400 --> 00:25:20,960 Speaker 3: making sure that you both feel good. 516 00:25:21,600 --> 00:25:25,600 Speaker 2: I know that everyone says this, but communication is literally everything, 517 00:25:25,640 --> 00:25:30,600 Speaker 2: and not just communication when things are shit, not just 518 00:25:31,080 --> 00:25:35,000 Speaker 2: like coming from a reactive place and only discussing things 519 00:25:35,119 --> 00:25:38,960 Speaker 2: when things are going wrong, but really, like I feel 520 00:25:38,960 --> 00:25:42,359 Speaker 2: like I went through this process maybe like six months 521 00:25:42,400 --> 00:25:46,880 Speaker 2: ago with Benny. I was finding myself getting really triggered 522 00:25:46,920 --> 00:25:48,960 Speaker 2: and like that. I think it was something to do 523 00:25:49,040 --> 00:25:51,640 Speaker 2: with my love language or something like that wasn't being 524 00:25:52,240 --> 00:25:52,840 Speaker 2: as its. 525 00:25:52,760 --> 00:25:54,359 Speaker 4: Being like, what's your love language? 526 00:25:54,720 --> 00:25:56,840 Speaker 2: But there was something going on where I just wasn't 527 00:25:56,880 --> 00:25:58,879 Speaker 2: feeling like all of my needs were being met and 528 00:25:58,960 --> 00:26:01,760 Speaker 2: saying like this is the part of learning the dynamic 529 00:26:01,800 --> 00:26:04,679 Speaker 2: with someone, you will consistently go through this. And I 530 00:26:04,720 --> 00:26:07,560 Speaker 2: had to sit down with myself and be like, have 531 00:26:07,680 --> 00:26:11,000 Speaker 2: I actually communicated what I want? Have I actually communicated 532 00:26:11,040 --> 00:26:13,760 Speaker 2: what love looks like for me or what taking care 533 00:26:13,800 --> 00:26:15,560 Speaker 2: of me looks like for me? And I was like, no, 534 00:26:15,680 --> 00:26:19,080 Speaker 2: I've never sat down and gone through all of my 535 00:26:19,240 --> 00:26:21,879 Speaker 2: needs and what that really feels like for me. And 536 00:26:21,920 --> 00:26:24,479 Speaker 2: how is he supposed to know? Like he is, like 537 00:26:24,560 --> 00:26:27,520 Speaker 2: he's not a mind reader and I could never put 538 00:26:27,560 --> 00:26:30,360 Speaker 2: that onto him or be like you have to understand 539 00:26:30,359 --> 00:26:32,160 Speaker 2: all of this about me when I have never told 540 00:26:32,200 --> 00:26:35,560 Speaker 2: you like that is not fair. So I literally sat 541 00:26:35,600 --> 00:26:38,560 Speaker 2: down and wrote out all of the ways that I 542 00:26:38,600 --> 00:26:41,479 Speaker 2: felt loved and all of the ways that I felt 543 00:26:42,320 --> 00:26:45,720 Speaker 2: cared for and the things that he did that I 544 00:26:45,800 --> 00:26:48,640 Speaker 2: really appreciated that I maybe hadn't really said to him 545 00:26:48,640 --> 00:26:51,359 Speaker 2: because he shows me love in so many different ways. 546 00:26:52,119 --> 00:26:54,720 Speaker 2: And we had the most beautiful conversation because it was 547 00:26:54,760 --> 00:26:57,600 Speaker 2: from such a grounded energy. It wasn't from like where 548 00:26:57,600 --> 00:27:00,280 Speaker 2: in a fight, It wasn't anything like that. It was 549 00:27:00,320 --> 00:27:03,280 Speaker 2: just this really beautiful Hey, I want to really express 550 00:27:03,359 --> 00:27:05,240 Speaker 2: to you how I best feel loved, and I want 551 00:27:05,280 --> 00:27:07,159 Speaker 2: to hear how you best feel loved so that we 552 00:27:07,200 --> 00:27:10,040 Speaker 2: can both really make sure that we're showing each other 553 00:27:10,119 --> 00:27:12,200 Speaker 2: love in the ways that we feel it the most. 554 00:27:12,880 --> 00:27:15,720 Speaker 2: And we had the best conversation, and our relationship like 555 00:27:16,000 --> 00:27:19,160 Speaker 2: had never been stronger after that moment and just really 556 00:27:19,280 --> 00:27:23,040 Speaker 2: understanding each other's needs. And it was so beautiful because 557 00:27:23,040 --> 00:27:25,439 Speaker 2: I think in the past I had only ever really 558 00:27:25,680 --> 00:27:29,879 Speaker 2: communicated or had these sorts of conversations when when it 559 00:27:29,960 --> 00:27:33,240 Speaker 2: was like I wasn't getting this, or it was from 560 00:27:33,359 --> 00:27:37,080 Speaker 2: like a negative place or like rock bottom, like we're 561 00:27:37,080 --> 00:27:40,240 Speaker 2: in a fight kind of thing, whereas this was from 562 00:27:40,280 --> 00:27:43,119 Speaker 2: a place of hey, I want to just like really 563 00:27:43,240 --> 00:27:46,760 Speaker 2: have the most beautiful strongest relationship and really make sure 564 00:27:46,800 --> 00:27:49,880 Speaker 2: each other's feeling really loved. Let's chat about what our 565 00:27:49,960 --> 00:27:52,760 Speaker 2: needs and wants and desires are. And I think that's 566 00:27:52,760 --> 00:27:55,359 Speaker 2: something that so many people miss. I was even talking 567 00:27:55,400 --> 00:27:58,480 Speaker 2: to someone in the Rise community not long ago because 568 00:27:58,480 --> 00:28:01,280 Speaker 2: she was talking about a financial limiting belief she was 569 00:28:01,320 --> 00:28:04,199 Speaker 2: having with her partner and how she wasn't feeling financially 570 00:28:04,240 --> 00:28:06,600 Speaker 2: safe and secure with the way that he was handling money. 571 00:28:06,640 --> 00:28:09,040 Speaker 2: And I said, have you actually sat down with him 572 00:28:09,080 --> 00:28:12,600 Speaker 2: and told him what like financial security and safety means 573 00:28:12,600 --> 00:28:15,080 Speaker 2: for you or looks like for you, because he would 574 00:28:15,080 --> 00:28:19,720 Speaker 2: have had this whole upbringing with completely different financial beliefs 575 00:28:19,720 --> 00:28:22,199 Speaker 2: and patterns and all of those sorts of things. And 576 00:28:22,240 --> 00:28:24,920 Speaker 2: she's like, yeah, no, I never have, And she said 577 00:28:24,920 --> 00:28:26,840 Speaker 2: that was like something she'd never thought of. So I 578 00:28:26,840 --> 00:28:31,320 Speaker 2: think really communicating that as well, rather than just when 579 00:28:31,359 --> 00:28:34,600 Speaker 2: things aren't going right, it's so powerful. Yeah, that was 580 00:28:34,600 --> 00:28:35,320 Speaker 2: a bit of a tangent. 581 00:28:36,840 --> 00:28:41,840 Speaker 3: Really. Yes, I think a lot of the time, especially 582 00:28:41,840 --> 00:28:44,920 Speaker 3: as women, we just kind of expect that, you know, 583 00:28:45,000 --> 00:28:47,360 Speaker 3: our partners know our needs and they get it, and 584 00:28:47,400 --> 00:28:50,200 Speaker 3: we get pissed off if they don't. But even I 585 00:28:50,240 --> 00:28:53,480 Speaker 3: was listening to a podcast by Margarita Nazarenko, our favorite 586 00:28:53,480 --> 00:28:56,640 Speaker 3: gal who's coming on here. And she was saying, absolute queen, 587 00:28:56,720 --> 00:29:01,120 Speaker 3: Absolute queen. She was saying that for her birthday or whatever, 588 00:29:01,600 --> 00:29:05,720 Speaker 3: she just expected her partner to like surprise her and 589 00:29:05,760 --> 00:29:07,560 Speaker 3: have all these things and blah blah blah, and then 590 00:29:07,880 --> 00:29:10,960 Speaker 3: when he didn't, she was like so upset, But she 591 00:29:11,080 --> 00:29:13,360 Speaker 3: never communicated anything that she wanted. 592 00:29:13,360 --> 00:29:16,480 Speaker 4: And you're so much better off. It doesn't mean you're any. 593 00:29:16,320 --> 00:29:19,200 Speaker 3: Less worthy or they love you less that you had 594 00:29:19,280 --> 00:29:23,160 Speaker 3: to tell them. It's just no one's mind readers and 595 00:29:23,200 --> 00:29:26,000 Speaker 3: men don't know that you want a pink cake with 596 00:29:26,120 --> 00:29:28,480 Speaker 3: a butterfly on it for your birthday, like they cannot 597 00:29:28,560 --> 00:29:31,240 Speaker 3: read your mind, or that you like to be well 598 00:29:31,280 --> 00:29:34,120 Speaker 3: in touchneecap when you're you know whatever, it is like 599 00:29:34,360 --> 00:29:37,720 Speaker 3: they don't know, so you have to nicely have open 600 00:29:37,760 --> 00:29:40,479 Speaker 3: communication to tell them what you need to want. 601 00:29:40,680 --> 00:29:43,760 Speaker 2: In saying that we obviously can only speak on a 602 00:29:43,800 --> 00:29:47,240 Speaker 2: male female relationship because that's all we've experienced. But in 603 00:29:47,320 --> 00:29:49,360 Speaker 2: saying that no one's a mind reader, like no one's 604 00:29:49,840 --> 00:29:52,960 Speaker 2: I and I think you and me like we are 605 00:29:53,040 --> 00:29:57,000 Speaker 2: such deep thinkers, like we think about everything in such 606 00:29:57,040 --> 00:30:00,640 Speaker 2: a what is the meaning of this? And and a 607 00:30:00,680 --> 00:30:02,920 Speaker 2: lot of people some people aren't like that. So I 608 00:30:02,960 --> 00:30:07,080 Speaker 2: think it's like, just understand that people think differently to you, 609 00:30:07,240 --> 00:30:09,960 Speaker 2: and it's okay to communicate your needs, and it's okay 610 00:30:10,240 --> 00:30:14,320 Speaker 2: to communicate what you want, regardless of who your partner 611 00:30:14,360 --> 00:30:16,200 Speaker 2: is or anything like that, or whether it's in a 612 00:30:16,240 --> 00:30:20,240 Speaker 2: friendship or whatever. It may be. Just ensuring that you 613 00:30:20,320 --> 00:30:23,080 Speaker 2: don't think they will just know what you want or 614 00:30:23,080 --> 00:30:24,960 Speaker 2: what you like, because they can only know if you 615 00:30:25,000 --> 00:30:25,560 Speaker 2: tell them. 616 00:30:26,080 --> 00:30:30,560 Speaker 3: Assuming makes an ass out of you and me. I 617 00:30:30,600 --> 00:30:32,520 Speaker 3: heard that once when I was like fifteen, and I've 618 00:30:32,560 --> 00:30:33,160 Speaker 3: never forgot it. 619 00:30:33,240 --> 00:30:35,080 Speaker 2: Yeah, you really put it on a T shirt. I 620 00:30:35,160 --> 00:30:40,120 Speaker 2: might put on a hat, put on a wide brim hat. 621 00:30:42,440 --> 00:30:46,240 Speaker 2: But what do you feel like? Is your like the 622 00:30:46,360 --> 00:30:49,239 Speaker 2: number one? I guess in the last I don't know 623 00:30:49,280 --> 00:30:52,520 Speaker 2: six months say, because there'd be so many lessons. What's 624 00:30:52,560 --> 00:30:55,640 Speaker 2: your biggest lesson or biggest takeaway or what would you 625 00:30:55,680 --> 00:31:00,200 Speaker 2: want to tell the beautiful listeners people to have a 626 00:31:00,320 --> 00:31:03,440 Speaker 2: longstanding relationship, what's your number one thing? 627 00:31:04,520 --> 00:31:07,840 Speaker 3: I have been with my boyfriend David, my beautiful boyfriend David, 628 00:31:07,880 --> 00:31:10,920 Speaker 3: for almost seven years, so it's been a hot minute 629 00:31:10,960 --> 00:31:13,600 Speaker 3: and we got together when we were like twenty one 630 00:31:13,720 --> 00:31:15,840 Speaker 3: or something, and we're now I'm twenty eight. 631 00:31:15,680 --> 00:31:17,400 Speaker 4: He's thirty this year. 632 00:31:17,840 --> 00:31:21,200 Speaker 3: So like, we've had so many different evolutions of each 633 00:31:21,200 --> 00:31:25,680 Speaker 3: other and different phases and growth. And we moved away 634 00:31:25,760 --> 00:31:27,760 Speaker 3: from where we grew up in Sydney. We moved away 635 00:31:27,800 --> 00:31:30,200 Speaker 3: to Brisbane first and then the Gold Coast, and we 636 00:31:30,280 --> 00:31:32,760 Speaker 3: had no one, like, we had no friends, no one else. 637 00:31:32,840 --> 00:31:34,960 Speaker 3: It was just like the two of us for a 638 00:31:34,960 --> 00:31:37,000 Speaker 3: lot of the time. So we've been through phases of 639 00:31:37,040 --> 00:31:39,560 Speaker 3: like we wish just to say, attached to the hip, 640 00:31:39,640 --> 00:31:42,760 Speaker 3: like literally being our only friend and just like everything 641 00:31:42,800 --> 00:31:45,080 Speaker 3: all the time, which I don't recommend because it's really 642 00:31:45,160 --> 00:31:45,959 Speaker 3: full on and intense. 643 00:31:46,440 --> 00:31:47,760 Speaker 4: But we've been attached to the hip. 644 00:31:47,840 --> 00:31:50,840 Speaker 3: We've had phases where we've been so disconnected, Like we've 645 00:31:50,840 --> 00:31:53,080 Speaker 3: had all of these different things, and I think, you know, 646 00:31:53,120 --> 00:31:54,920 Speaker 3: we've reached that point now they call it the seven 647 00:31:55,000 --> 00:31:59,760 Speaker 3: years or whatever. We've really had some serious conversations about like, Okay, 648 00:31:59,760 --> 00:32:02,880 Speaker 3: this isn't probably you know exactly how I want things 649 00:32:02,920 --> 00:32:05,960 Speaker 3: to be moving forward in the next phase of our lives. 650 00:32:06,520 --> 00:32:08,400 Speaker 3: You know, at the moment, we're both working hard and 651 00:32:08,440 --> 00:32:10,480 Speaker 3: have a lot on because we've we've bought a house 652 00:32:10,520 --> 00:32:12,640 Speaker 3: and we're both like in our careers and stuff. So 653 00:32:13,640 --> 00:32:15,160 Speaker 3: we had a really serious chat the other day and 654 00:32:15,240 --> 00:32:17,120 Speaker 3: we sat down and we're like, okay, like what do 655 00:32:17,200 --> 00:32:19,560 Speaker 3: we do like moving forward, how do we make sure 656 00:32:19,600 --> 00:32:22,200 Speaker 3: that we are connected and everything's good so that we're 657 00:32:22,200 --> 00:32:25,920 Speaker 3: both fulfilled in the relationship. And we actually asked chat 658 00:32:25,960 --> 00:32:32,480 Speaker 3: gpt for some relationship connection advice because we were kind 659 00:32:32,480 --> 00:32:34,479 Speaker 3: of getting nowhere in the conversation and we're like, we 660 00:32:34,560 --> 00:32:39,000 Speaker 3: need an outsider's perspective or some tips or something. So 661 00:32:39,040 --> 00:32:41,680 Speaker 3: we said to chat gpt, this is the situation, what 662 00:32:41,760 --> 00:32:44,760 Speaker 3: should we do, like how like set us up? What's 663 00:32:44,840 --> 00:32:48,080 Speaker 3: what do we do? And it spat out the best 664 00:32:48,720 --> 00:32:51,680 Speaker 3: go off chat go of off chatty. It gave us 665 00:32:51,720 --> 00:32:55,479 Speaker 3: like questions, communication styles, what to say back after that 666 00:32:55,520 --> 00:32:58,440 Speaker 3: person spoke like yes, okay, I understand that you need this, 667 00:32:58,840 --> 00:33:00,840 Speaker 3: which was so good because you could hear that they 668 00:33:00,880 --> 00:33:04,000 Speaker 3: were listening to you and what they needed. And it 669 00:33:04,040 --> 00:33:05,960 Speaker 3: gave us like the next few weeks like try this, 670 00:33:06,200 --> 00:33:08,520 Speaker 3: do this each week, like show each other you love 671 00:33:08,520 --> 00:33:09,720 Speaker 3: each other by you know, like. 672 00:33:09,720 --> 00:33:11,960 Speaker 4: Doing this, and it was so good. 673 00:33:12,160 --> 00:33:16,880 Speaker 3: And since having that conversation and implementing chat GPT's advice. 674 00:33:17,680 --> 00:33:18,320 Speaker 4: It's been good. 675 00:33:18,360 --> 00:33:20,880 Speaker 3: It's been so much better, and it's really helped us 676 00:33:21,080 --> 00:33:24,400 Speaker 3: prioritize what we need to feel connected and stuff moving forward. 677 00:33:24,480 --> 00:33:28,920 Speaker 3: So I think on saying that, my biggest advice would 678 00:33:28,960 --> 00:33:33,080 Speaker 3: just be, yeah, really to like sit down and touch base, 679 00:33:33,240 --> 00:33:37,000 Speaker 3: because we are all like individuals living our own lives 680 00:33:37,080 --> 00:33:40,120 Speaker 3: and it can so easily just you know, slip apart, 681 00:33:40,200 --> 00:33:42,720 Speaker 3: especially if you've got kids. I think you know, you 682 00:33:42,760 --> 00:33:45,120 Speaker 3: hear so much like parents are focusing on the kids 683 00:33:45,200 --> 00:33:47,440 Speaker 3: and trying to keep the house going and all this stuff. 684 00:33:47,480 --> 00:33:51,040 Speaker 3: But it's an investment, like you have to put time 685 00:33:51,080 --> 00:33:53,640 Speaker 3: and effort into the relationship. Think that's something I really 686 00:33:53,760 --> 00:33:56,479 Speaker 3: learned is that just because you're together and you've been 687 00:33:56,520 --> 00:34:00,320 Speaker 3: together a long time doesn't mean that you'd just be 688 00:34:00,400 --> 00:34:02,880 Speaker 3: sweet forever and you're going to always be love and connected, 689 00:34:02,920 --> 00:34:05,040 Speaker 3: Like you have to constantly work on it. 690 00:34:05,880 --> 00:34:10,040 Speaker 2: Literally, And I think the biggest thing is from my experience, 691 00:34:10,120 --> 00:34:12,799 Speaker 2: there's no relationship that's ever going to be perfectly. You 692 00:34:12,880 --> 00:34:16,400 Speaker 2: are co creating a life with another human that again 693 00:34:16,719 --> 00:34:20,960 Speaker 2: is living for the first time and is experiencing their 694 00:34:21,040 --> 00:34:24,960 Speaker 2: own limiting beliefs and desires and needs, and you have 695 00:34:25,040 --> 00:34:29,280 Speaker 2: to continuously choose them, continuously show up, choose the different 696 00:34:29,360 --> 00:34:32,680 Speaker 2: versions of them, and know that you know things might 697 00:34:32,680 --> 00:34:34,920 Speaker 2: be hard and you'll have to have hard conversations and 698 00:34:34,920 --> 00:34:37,359 Speaker 2: they'll trigger you when things will come up. But it's 699 00:34:37,400 --> 00:34:40,440 Speaker 2: about understanding that, Okay, I'm going to keep choosing you, 700 00:34:41,000 --> 00:34:42,840 Speaker 2: and I'm going to keep showing up for you, and 701 00:34:42,880 --> 00:34:45,759 Speaker 2: I want to work through this and I'm not expecting 702 00:34:45,800 --> 00:34:48,880 Speaker 2: you to meet me a one hundred percent of what 703 00:34:48,920 --> 00:34:51,640 Speaker 2: I need because it's a balance and it's like finding 704 00:34:51,719 --> 00:34:55,040 Speaker 2: that harmony and co creating together. And I also think 705 00:34:55,080 --> 00:34:58,279 Speaker 2: it's so important. This is like my biggest tiar I'll 706 00:34:58,320 --> 00:35:03,120 Speaker 2: just jump on in there is never stop dating, Like 707 00:35:03,440 --> 00:35:06,920 Speaker 2: never stop dating, because I think, especially when you live 708 00:35:06,960 --> 00:35:10,200 Speaker 2: with your partner, you can just so easily slip into 709 00:35:10,200 --> 00:35:14,560 Speaker 2: the roommate phase and so easily slip into like not 710 00:35:14,719 --> 00:35:17,360 Speaker 2: having that like affection and all of those sorts of 711 00:35:17,360 --> 00:35:21,560 Speaker 2: things that makes your relationship a relationship. And I think 712 00:35:21,640 --> 00:35:23,800 Speaker 2: like the number one thing like me and my partner 713 00:35:23,800 --> 00:35:26,200 Speaker 2: are so big on is making sure we have at 714 00:35:26,320 --> 00:35:28,719 Speaker 2: least one thing a week where we get out of 715 00:35:28,760 --> 00:35:31,000 Speaker 2: the house and do something together and just have time, 716 00:35:31,120 --> 00:35:33,880 Speaker 2: just us off our phones and have a date, have 717 00:35:34,000 --> 00:35:39,400 Speaker 2: that connection, time, have that romance. And like also like 718 00:35:39,560 --> 00:35:41,920 Speaker 2: I know we're big on having little things where you 719 00:35:41,960 --> 00:35:44,080 Speaker 2: were in the dating phase of like getting flowers or 720 00:35:44,080 --> 00:35:47,160 Speaker 2: writing letters or those sorts of things, and it makes 721 00:35:47,200 --> 00:35:49,360 Speaker 2: the world of difference, Like it seems so small. But 722 00:35:49,440 --> 00:35:51,840 Speaker 2: sometimes all you need is just that little bit, a 723 00:35:51,920 --> 00:35:55,000 Speaker 2: couple of hours of connection and just you time away 724 00:35:55,040 --> 00:35:59,960 Speaker 2: from the house choice choice choice, house choice, away for 725 00:36:00,120 --> 00:36:02,319 Speaker 2: the house chores and all those sorts of things to 726 00:36:02,640 --> 00:36:06,360 Speaker 2: just like get back to being in that like dating, 727 00:36:06,520 --> 00:36:10,840 Speaker 2: lustful moment, love, the little love birds on the beach. 728 00:36:12,760 --> 00:36:17,080 Speaker 2: What I don't know, it's just so important, Like I 729 00:36:17,120 --> 00:36:19,840 Speaker 2: think that's the biggest thing is just don't forget. 730 00:36:20,400 --> 00:36:22,640 Speaker 3: Don't forget. And also on the on the note of 731 00:36:22,680 --> 00:36:25,880 Speaker 3: having a little fun, don't forget. Make sure you're filling 732 00:36:25,960 --> 00:36:29,680 Speaker 3: up your own cup, you know as well within a relationship, 733 00:36:29,800 --> 00:36:33,280 Speaker 3: like have your own hobbies, both go out with your friends, 734 00:36:33,360 --> 00:36:36,439 Speaker 3: like do things so important that fill you up as 735 00:36:36,480 --> 00:36:39,600 Speaker 3: a person, because you are an individual in a partnership, 736 00:36:39,640 --> 00:36:42,440 Speaker 3: you're not just the partnership like you do you Sometimes 737 00:36:42,440 --> 00:36:44,719 Speaker 3: we get caught up on like G and D or 738 00:36:44,760 --> 00:36:46,800 Speaker 3: like Jamie and Bennie. But it's like you are Jamie, 739 00:36:46,840 --> 00:36:51,080 Speaker 3: here's Benny. You have your differences and your own interests separately, 740 00:36:51,120 --> 00:36:54,000 Speaker 3: and then you come together and beautifully compliment each other. 741 00:36:54,080 --> 00:36:56,799 Speaker 3: So make sure you are filling up your own cup. 742 00:36:56,840 --> 00:37:00,200 Speaker 3: You've got your own hobbies and things, don't always come 743 00:37:00,200 --> 00:37:02,399 Speaker 3: home and just like work, dump or you know, all 744 00:37:02,440 --> 00:37:05,560 Speaker 3: the things, like have a bit of that sacredness in 745 00:37:05,600 --> 00:37:08,080 Speaker 3: the partnership and then talk to your friends and stuff 746 00:37:08,080 --> 00:37:09,680 Speaker 3: about other stuff. It just keeps it a bit more 747 00:37:09,760 --> 00:37:11,680 Speaker 3: like I don't want to say mysterious, but it just 748 00:37:11,800 --> 00:37:14,719 Speaker 3: keeps it a bit more, you know. 749 00:37:15,000 --> 00:37:17,319 Speaker 2: And I think also like allow your partner to have 750 00:37:17,400 --> 00:37:21,200 Speaker 2: that too, Like don't feel upset or rejected or whatever 751 00:37:21,239 --> 00:37:23,319 Speaker 2: it is if they want to go out and have 752 00:37:23,400 --> 00:37:26,000 Speaker 2: a night with their friends and do things on their own, 753 00:37:26,040 --> 00:37:29,080 Speaker 2: because it allows them to have their own life and 754 00:37:29,480 --> 00:37:31,480 Speaker 2: fill up their own cup and things like that too. 755 00:37:31,520 --> 00:37:35,239 Speaker 2: I think sometimes there can be this weird energy of 756 00:37:35,360 --> 00:37:37,560 Speaker 2: like they're leaving me to go out and you know, 757 00:37:37,680 --> 00:37:40,440 Speaker 2: do whatever. But it's so important for us both to 758 00:37:40,480 --> 00:37:43,279 Speaker 2: have our own lives. To just allow them to have 759 00:37:43,360 --> 00:37:46,120 Speaker 2: that too, and don't feel like it's a reflection on 760 00:37:46,120 --> 00:37:49,000 Speaker 2: the relationship because it's just so important, like something better 761 00:37:49,040 --> 00:37:50,120 Speaker 2: than a good old girl's night. 762 00:37:50,320 --> 00:37:52,720 Speaker 3: And then half the time when they come back from 763 00:37:53,280 --> 00:37:55,400 Speaker 3: or you come back from separate blands, you're like more 764 00:37:55,480 --> 00:37:57,680 Speaker 3: appreciative of them and you're like, oh my god. 765 00:37:57,600 --> 00:37:59,879 Speaker 2: And they're thriving and they're cups full, and then they 766 00:38:00,080 --> 00:38:02,800 Speaker 2: have more to give you from overflow rather than it 767 00:38:03,000 --> 00:38:06,080 Speaker 2: just being like scrape in the barrel, they haven't filled 768 00:38:06,080 --> 00:38:06,640 Speaker 2: their cup up? 769 00:38:07,360 --> 00:38:12,240 Speaker 4: So should we become relationship experts? Week should go on maths? 770 00:38:13,239 --> 00:38:15,080 Speaker 4: We could be the experts on maths. 771 00:38:15,800 --> 00:38:19,080 Speaker 2: I haven't seen maths, so I was like, we've already 772 00:38:19,080 --> 00:38:22,640 Speaker 2: got partners. I feel like that's we should got married 773 00:38:22,680 --> 00:38:24,920 Speaker 2: for because I was like, I. 774 00:38:24,760 --> 00:38:25,640 Speaker 4: Was like lost. 775 00:38:25,680 --> 00:38:28,760 Speaker 2: I was like, I don't think many and Dave would 776 00:38:28,800 --> 00:38:31,560 Speaker 2: like that, but it may make them be contestints to 777 00:38:31,920 --> 00:38:35,720 Speaker 2: and then we get paired together. I meant, I haven't 778 00:38:35,760 --> 00:38:38,799 Speaker 2: seen it as a relationship experts. I feel like I 779 00:38:38,840 --> 00:38:42,040 Speaker 2: could talk about this for forever, because when you're in 780 00:38:42,680 --> 00:38:46,960 Speaker 2: a good place mentally and understand that relationships can be 781 00:38:47,000 --> 00:38:48,880 Speaker 2: We didn't even get into the whole mirrors thing, but 782 00:38:49,000 --> 00:38:49,960 Speaker 2: maybe we'll leave. 783 00:38:49,760 --> 00:38:52,080 Speaker 4: That we can do, we could do. If you've got. 784 00:38:51,880 --> 00:38:55,040 Speaker 2: Another episode, send in your questions because I think there's 785 00:38:55,080 --> 00:38:57,240 Speaker 2: a whole and it's probably a whole episode in itself 786 00:38:57,239 --> 00:39:00,279 Speaker 2: of what your partner can show you, reveal, teach you, 787 00:39:00,480 --> 00:39:03,080 Speaker 2: and help you heal. We'll do that in another one, 788 00:39:03,200 --> 00:39:07,880 Speaker 2: but they are our best top tips for relationship and dating. 789 00:39:07,920 --> 00:39:10,719 Speaker 3: If you've got any more questions, please send them in. 790 00:39:10,760 --> 00:39:14,120 Speaker 3: This is just our you know, advice and two cents 791 00:39:14,160 --> 00:39:16,719 Speaker 3: from what we've learned and our experiences and stuff. So 792 00:39:17,360 --> 00:39:20,040 Speaker 3: everyone's different, Everyone's got their own opinions and things, but 793 00:39:20,280 --> 00:39:25,400 Speaker 3: thanks for listening to ours. Hopefully this was somewhat helpful. Again, 794 00:39:25,840 --> 00:39:28,200 Speaker 3: give us any comments and feedback. We love to hear 795 00:39:28,280 --> 00:39:30,160 Speaker 3: you so and. 796 00:39:30,160 --> 00:39:32,439 Speaker 2: If you did love the show, if you did shove 797 00:39:32,520 --> 00:39:35,640 Speaker 2: us a review, we want to hear from you. All right, 798 00:39:35,680 --> 00:39:37,239 Speaker 2: We'll see you in our next episode. 799 00:39:37,320 --> 00:39:37,640 Speaker 3: Love you,