1 00:00:01,600 --> 00:00:04,480 Speaker 1: It's a Happy Families podcast with doctor Justin Coilson, where 2 00:00:04,559 --> 00:00:07,720 Speaker 1: Luke and Susie parents of three little boys, and this 3 00:00:07,760 --> 00:00:09,799 Speaker 1: is the podcast for those of us who are time 4 00:00:09,840 --> 00:00:11,520 Speaker 1: poor parents, but just one answers. 5 00:00:11,560 --> 00:00:16,200 Speaker 2: Now Tracy has written a question through Luke Yes. She says, 6 00:00:16,880 --> 00:00:19,919 Speaker 2: parenting adults. We have a large family with five children, 7 00:00:19,920 --> 00:00:22,320 Speaker 2: and I always thought the toddler slash preschool years were 8 00:00:22,360 --> 00:00:25,880 Speaker 2: the most challenging. Now most are adults. We're finding this 9 00:00:26,000 --> 00:00:30,159 Speaker 2: time much more stressful. Tracy, don't tell you that we 10 00:00:30,280 --> 00:00:32,920 Speaker 2: get tried advice to make them move out and two have, 11 00:00:33,080 --> 00:00:35,640 Speaker 2: but that's not helpful when you want to help them succeed. 12 00:00:35,760 --> 00:00:38,960 Speaker 2: How can we help them without driving us around the twists. 13 00:00:39,040 --> 00:00:40,720 Speaker 1: It's wonderful because I think it's the first time we've 14 00:00:40,720 --> 00:00:43,440 Speaker 1: ever addressed a question to the show that's used the 15 00:00:43,440 --> 00:00:46,960 Speaker 1: word trite. So I cannot wait to explore that. 16 00:00:47,040 --> 00:00:49,680 Speaker 2: Our parenting expert, doctor Justin Coilson, is joining us in 17 00:00:49,760 --> 00:00:53,080 Speaker 2: studio as we address parenting adults. Don't I think probably 18 00:00:53,120 --> 00:00:55,560 Speaker 2: most of your advice would be parents with young children, 19 00:00:55,880 --> 00:01:00,400 Speaker 2: but parenting adults seems to be from our audience questions 20 00:01:00,400 --> 00:01:04,039 Speaker 2: that come through a common issue trying to navigate this world. 21 00:01:04,080 --> 00:01:07,080 Speaker 2: So Tracey's question, how can we help our adult children 22 00:01:07,160 --> 00:01:09,200 Speaker 2: without them driving us around the twist? 23 00:01:09,440 --> 00:01:12,880 Speaker 3: It's funny, you know, little kids, little problems, Big kids, 24 00:01:14,000 --> 00:01:18,039 Speaker 3: big problems, adult kids, adult problems. 25 00:01:18,959 --> 00:01:19,720 Speaker 4: Actually, I got a. 26 00:01:19,640 --> 00:01:22,360 Speaker 3: Message yesterday from a mum who was having similar kinds 27 00:01:22,360 --> 00:01:25,240 Speaker 3: of issues, and she just said, I have young adults 28 00:01:25,600 --> 00:01:27,479 Speaker 3: who have been out of the home and are actually 29 00:01:27,520 --> 00:01:30,600 Speaker 3: transitioning back into our home right And she said, our 30 00:01:30,680 --> 00:01:34,119 Speaker 3: boundaries are having to be readjusted. I need some help 31 00:01:34,240 --> 00:01:37,200 Speaker 3: doing this. For example, I want my children to be 32 00:01:37,240 --> 00:01:38,839 Speaker 3: in bed even though they're adults. 33 00:01:38,520 --> 00:01:40,520 Speaker 4: Between ten and ten thirty pm. 34 00:01:40,800 --> 00:01:43,160 Speaker 5: But sometimes their friends rock up with a current ten 35 00:01:43,200 --> 00:01:45,560 Speaker 5: pm and they're gone most of the night, crawling back 36 00:01:45,600 --> 00:01:46,520 Speaker 5: from a night club at five am. 37 00:01:46,560 --> 00:01:47,480 Speaker 4: And she's sort of saying, this. 38 00:01:47,920 --> 00:01:50,040 Speaker 5: Is not this is not how we want our family. 39 00:01:50,600 --> 00:01:52,200 Speaker 5: You know, there's younger kids in the house. We don't 40 00:01:52,200 --> 00:01:54,960 Speaker 5: want them seeing this example. I mean, there's so many 41 00:01:55,080 --> 00:01:59,120 Speaker 5: challenges and I'm raising my own adult now. We sat 42 00:01:59,160 --> 00:02:05,520 Speaker 5: down with our young adult daughter and when you turned eighteen, 43 00:02:05,560 --> 00:02:07,480 Speaker 5: and we've told all of our kids. 44 00:02:07,520 --> 00:02:09,919 Speaker 3: You know, once you turn eighteen, if you choose to 45 00:02:09,919 --> 00:02:12,520 Speaker 3: live in a home, there's still certain guidelines that matter. 46 00:02:13,280 --> 00:02:15,720 Speaker 3: We no longer have a financial responsibility to you, though. 47 00:02:15,720 --> 00:02:17,320 Speaker 3: You're living your life and we're not going to tell 48 00:02:17,320 --> 00:02:18,680 Speaker 3: you what to do, but we're going to ask that 49 00:02:18,720 --> 00:02:22,960 Speaker 3: you respect our home. So I guess the short answer 50 00:02:23,320 --> 00:02:26,040 Speaker 3: is the trite answer is just move out of home, 51 00:02:26,639 --> 00:02:29,480 Speaker 3: tell the kids to go. I couldn't help saying that 52 00:02:29,480 --> 00:02:32,000 Speaker 3: because in the email she obviously said that's the trit answer, 53 00:02:32,480 --> 00:02:34,919 Speaker 3: and it's not helpful, is it really? Because we don't 54 00:02:34,960 --> 00:02:37,040 Speaker 3: want to kick our kids out. We certainly don't want 55 00:02:37,080 --> 00:02:39,840 Speaker 3: them to leave under a sense of oh, mom and 56 00:02:39,919 --> 00:02:40,600 Speaker 3: dad don't love me. 57 00:02:40,639 --> 00:02:43,320 Speaker 4: They're sending me away because you know, grumbling and granny. 58 00:02:43,320 --> 00:02:45,800 Speaker 3: We want them to be leaving because they're embarking on 59 00:02:45,880 --> 00:02:48,240 Speaker 3: the adventure of life and they're ready to go. They're 60 00:02:48,280 --> 00:02:53,119 Speaker 3: excited about going. Kicking them out just doesn't feel good. Instead, 61 00:02:53,240 --> 00:02:57,800 Speaker 3: we need to have some really challenging, mature conversations with 62 00:02:57,840 --> 00:03:03,000 Speaker 3: them because they're adults, where we talk through how life 63 00:03:03,200 --> 00:03:06,359 Speaker 3: needs to work as adults living together in the same home. 64 00:03:06,680 --> 00:03:07,800 Speaker 4: The one thing that I'll say. 65 00:03:07,600 --> 00:03:11,800 Speaker 3: Really clearly is that it's very, very very hard to 66 00:03:11,880 --> 00:03:16,760 Speaker 3: try the whole my house, my rules approach once they're 67 00:03:16,919 --> 00:03:19,600 Speaker 3: in fact, once they're teenagers. Once you're about thirteen or fourteen, 68 00:03:20,200 --> 00:03:22,680 Speaker 3: you start to have to let go of control and 69 00:03:22,760 --> 00:03:26,799 Speaker 3: move towards influence. But once they're eighteen nineteen twenty twenty one, 70 00:03:27,480 --> 00:03:30,600 Speaker 3: even influence starts to step back and it becomes more 71 00:03:30,639 --> 00:03:32,799 Speaker 3: of a well, it should become more of a give 72 00:03:32,800 --> 00:03:36,480 Speaker 3: and take relationship where we work together to find solutions. 73 00:03:36,720 --> 00:03:39,280 Speaker 1: If I'm as a manager, I can have an adult 74 00:03:39,280 --> 00:03:41,320 Speaker 1: conversation with a staff member who's maybe not doing the 75 00:03:41,400 --> 00:03:43,160 Speaker 1: right thing, and I sit down and we can talk 76 00:03:43,400 --> 00:03:45,400 Speaker 1: like grown ups through some of the issues, and then 77 00:03:45,400 --> 00:03:47,840 Speaker 1: we can create a plan to overcome some of the issues, 78 00:03:48,000 --> 00:03:50,120 Speaker 1: and we can see to either eye. If we don't 79 00:03:50,200 --> 00:03:52,840 Speaker 1: end up seeing either eye, someone gets to make a 80 00:03:52,880 --> 00:03:55,520 Speaker 1: decision that means that we no longer have to deal 81 00:03:55,520 --> 00:03:59,200 Speaker 1: with those adult conversations. The problem in this scenario and 82 00:03:59,240 --> 00:04:00,040 Speaker 1: in family. 83 00:04:00,520 --> 00:04:02,360 Speaker 4: You can't buy your kids. 84 00:04:02,640 --> 00:04:05,920 Speaker 1: There's no out, and if you try and claim the out, 85 00:04:06,240 --> 00:04:09,320 Speaker 1: they called your bluff then and then even if you 86 00:04:09,440 --> 00:04:13,440 Speaker 1: follow through, you feel horrible and it's not the outcome 87 00:04:13,720 --> 00:04:14,760 Speaker 1: that anybody wins. 88 00:04:14,840 --> 00:04:18,520 Speaker 3: These power differentials never feel good in long term relationships. 89 00:04:19,000 --> 00:04:21,680 Speaker 3: In a work environment, where people are being paid to 90 00:04:21,680 --> 00:04:24,479 Speaker 3: be there. It's a different situation at home. What I 91 00:04:24,520 --> 00:04:26,599 Speaker 3: think we need, and I've talked about this a number 92 00:04:26,600 --> 00:04:28,800 Speaker 3: of times on the show. It still seems to me 93 00:04:28,880 --> 00:04:32,520 Speaker 3: to be the best strategy in pretty much any relational context. 94 00:04:33,000 --> 00:04:36,480 Speaker 3: We need the three e's, the three's of effective discipline. 95 00:04:36,520 --> 00:04:39,640 Speaker 1: Every time we've spoken about the three e's on this show, 96 00:04:40,000 --> 00:04:44,279 Speaker 1: I've pictured six year olds. I've never pictured twenty three 97 00:04:44,400 --> 00:04:46,400 Speaker 1: year old hypothetically. 98 00:04:45,839 --> 00:04:48,040 Speaker 4: Or twenty eight or thirty four. You know, move back 99 00:04:48,040 --> 00:04:50,279 Speaker 4: in with three kids because family separated. 100 00:04:50,360 --> 00:04:54,159 Speaker 1: You've just given every adult every period of adult children 101 00:04:54,160 --> 00:04:56,200 Speaker 1: a twitch and a little bit of a e If 102 00:04:56,240 --> 00:04:59,000 Speaker 1: they're moving back at twenty eight and thirty four, Okay. 103 00:04:58,760 --> 00:05:04,560 Speaker 2: It happens, right, Okay, I want my boys to leave. 104 00:05:04,720 --> 00:05:06,960 Speaker 1: I've got a friend who thinks very very differently. As 105 00:05:07,000 --> 00:05:09,839 Speaker 1: five children, he made them all share one single bedroom 106 00:05:09,839 --> 00:05:11,600 Speaker 1: as they were growing up because he said it that way. 107 00:05:11,640 --> 00:05:13,800 Speaker 1: If they're uncomfortable, they're going to move out quickly. 108 00:05:14,800 --> 00:05:16,480 Speaker 4: That's one way to say as well. 109 00:05:17,200 --> 00:05:19,520 Speaker 1: Okay, so we're sitting now with our adult children where 110 00:05:19,520 --> 00:05:22,240 Speaker 1: we've got conflict when they're not doing and living in 111 00:05:22,279 --> 00:05:24,920 Speaker 1: our house like we think they should. We're going to 112 00:05:24,960 --> 00:05:25,760 Speaker 1: sit down with them. 113 00:05:25,600 --> 00:05:27,200 Speaker 3: But we need to get the context right first. So 114 00:05:27,240 --> 00:05:28,839 Speaker 3: timing is everything. We want to set it up so 115 00:05:28,839 --> 00:05:31,200 Speaker 3: that we're having a day, we're having some fun. I 116 00:05:31,279 --> 00:05:34,680 Speaker 3: think that it's a really nice thing if your circumstances 117 00:05:34,720 --> 00:05:38,600 Speaker 3: will permit. And this is what I encourage many couples 118 00:05:38,600 --> 00:05:41,280 Speaker 3: to do with their adult kids. Say to them, it's 119 00:05:41,320 --> 00:05:43,599 Speaker 3: been a long time since we've spent really good quality 120 00:05:43,680 --> 00:05:46,240 Speaker 3: time with you. How do you feel about if we 121 00:05:46,279 --> 00:05:48,120 Speaker 3: get a hotel room or maybe a you know, a 122 00:05:48,120 --> 00:05:51,960 Speaker 3: self contained unit or something. So we've got multiple bedrooms, 123 00:05:52,040 --> 00:05:54,560 Speaker 3: Let's have a couple of days away. Let's just make 124 00:05:54,560 --> 00:05:56,720 Speaker 3: it a long weekend. Let's go and do something. And 125 00:05:56,760 --> 00:05:58,799 Speaker 3: by the way, we are doing this with an agenda. 126 00:05:59,360 --> 00:06:01,200 Speaker 3: There's a few and wortant conversations that we need to 127 00:06:01,200 --> 00:06:02,600 Speaker 3: have and we don't feel like having them around the 128 00:06:02,600 --> 00:06:05,360 Speaker 3: house is going to work. Now, that won't suit everybody's circumstances. 129 00:06:05,360 --> 00:06:09,000 Speaker 3: I acknowledge that immediately, but I think it's the best 130 00:06:09,040 --> 00:06:10,680 Speaker 3: context in which to do it because you're in a 131 00:06:10,720 --> 00:06:13,200 Speaker 3: new environment, there's no external pressures. 132 00:06:13,240 --> 00:06:14,240 Speaker 4: You actually feel like you're on. 133 00:06:14,200 --> 00:06:16,599 Speaker 3: Holidays, and you've set it up ahead of time so 134 00:06:16,640 --> 00:06:19,120 Speaker 3: that they know that there's going to be some hard conversations. 135 00:06:19,400 --> 00:06:22,360 Speaker 1: So in a replacement, to take that principle to go, 136 00:06:22,880 --> 00:06:25,000 Speaker 1: let's go down to the beach for the day. Let's 137 00:06:25,040 --> 00:06:29,080 Speaker 1: go fishing all those sharp objects during these conversations, but 138 00:06:29,320 --> 00:06:32,479 Speaker 1: substitute the principle a place where you can relax and 139 00:06:32,520 --> 00:06:33,599 Speaker 1: be comfortable. 140 00:06:33,160 --> 00:06:35,560 Speaker 4: With each other, change the scenery and time. 141 00:06:35,720 --> 00:06:37,520 Speaker 3: You really want to make sure if there's younger kids, 142 00:06:37,600 --> 00:06:39,919 Speaker 3: get a babysitter for the day, whatever it takes, but 143 00:06:40,000 --> 00:06:41,880 Speaker 3: you really want to make sure that you've got time, 144 00:06:42,040 --> 00:06:44,200 Speaker 3: and you want to set it up so that your child, 145 00:06:44,240 --> 00:06:47,120 Speaker 3: your adult child, knows we're going to be talking about 146 00:06:47,240 --> 00:06:49,360 Speaker 3: some of the stuff, the awkward stuff, that had stuff. 147 00:06:50,240 --> 00:06:53,479 Speaker 3: Then you simply have the explained, explore and power conversation. 148 00:06:53,880 --> 00:06:56,000 Speaker 3: But i'd recommend I mean a lot of parents just 149 00:06:56,080 --> 00:06:58,719 Speaker 3: go with the explode conversation, yep. 150 00:06:59,040 --> 00:06:59,560 Speaker 4: But I think. 151 00:06:59,440 --> 00:07:03,080 Speaker 3: Explaining an exploring is much more effective. I probably wouldn't 152 00:07:03,080 --> 00:07:05,640 Speaker 3: start with explain when you're talking to an adult child. Rather, 153 00:07:06,040 --> 00:07:09,400 Speaker 3: I would say, let's talk about your life. Let's talk 154 00:07:09,400 --> 00:07:12,360 Speaker 3: about how we can support you. It's not tell me 155 00:07:12,360 --> 00:07:14,640 Speaker 3: what you're doing with your life, what direction you're taking 156 00:07:14,680 --> 00:07:16,680 Speaker 3: you're getting older, and you need to get on with things. Rather, 157 00:07:16,720 --> 00:07:19,280 Speaker 3: it's how can we support you to achieve your goals? 158 00:07:19,320 --> 00:07:22,320 Speaker 3: What are you working towards? And you might discuss the 159 00:07:22,400 --> 00:07:25,080 Speaker 3: various areas of your life, of their life that matter, 160 00:07:25,120 --> 00:07:28,320 Speaker 3: what financially, relationally, educationally, career, etc. 161 00:07:28,640 --> 00:07:31,600 Speaker 4: Spiritually, the things that matter most to you. 162 00:07:32,520 --> 00:07:35,840 Speaker 3: Then you simply say, okay, well, now that we understand 163 00:07:35,840 --> 00:07:39,080 Speaker 3: what you're all about, we feel that we would like 164 00:07:39,160 --> 00:07:41,280 Speaker 3: to explore a little bit about how things are going 165 00:07:41,320 --> 00:07:44,840 Speaker 3: at home. Is there anything that you're unhappy with at home? Again, 166 00:07:45,040 --> 00:07:47,560 Speaker 3: get them talking, let them know that you really care 167 00:07:47,600 --> 00:07:52,840 Speaker 3: about them, and then let them know, explain to them 168 00:07:52,920 --> 00:07:55,120 Speaker 3: the things that you're struggling with, and do it gently, 169 00:07:55,120 --> 00:07:57,320 Speaker 3: do it sensitively, do it in a way that recognizes 170 00:07:57,360 --> 00:07:59,400 Speaker 3: that you know that they're not used to these kinds 171 00:07:59,440 --> 00:08:00,200 Speaker 3: of situations. 172 00:08:00,240 --> 00:08:02,160 Speaker 4: It's tricky. 173 00:08:02,200 --> 00:08:04,119 Speaker 3: And then you empower. So you've explained and you've explored. 174 00:08:04,160 --> 00:08:05,320 Speaker 3: Then you empower you say, well, where do we go 175 00:08:05,360 --> 00:08:07,680 Speaker 3: from here? What do you think is a viable solution? 176 00:08:08,080 --> 00:08:10,640 Speaker 3: Because my twenty five year old son, I'm sorry, but 177 00:08:10,720 --> 00:08:12,920 Speaker 3: you're sitting in your room for fourteen hours a day, 178 00:08:12,960 --> 00:08:15,720 Speaker 3: four days a week and playing games and then going 179 00:08:15,760 --> 00:08:17,880 Speaker 3: and working at nights, and you know, having four days 180 00:08:17,880 --> 00:08:20,600 Speaker 3: a week part time down at the local supermarket. That's 181 00:08:20,800 --> 00:08:22,320 Speaker 3: not going to cut it in our home. We're not 182 00:08:22,360 --> 00:08:22,960 Speaker 3: okay with that. 183 00:08:24,480 --> 00:08:25,640 Speaker 4: You don't want to do it in an attacking way, 184 00:08:25,680 --> 00:08:27,760 Speaker 4: you want to do it sensitively. But ultimately we're. 185 00:08:27,640 --> 00:08:29,920 Speaker 3: Trying to find a solution together. How do we fix this? 186 00:08:30,000 --> 00:08:31,720 Speaker 3: What do we do about that. Let's talk about board, 187 00:08:31,800 --> 00:08:34,320 Speaker 3: Let's talk about contribution in the home. Let's talk about 188 00:08:34,360 --> 00:08:38,079 Speaker 3: what happens if you don't fulfill your end of the deal. 189 00:08:38,960 --> 00:08:41,440 Speaker 3: Can we get really clear on that? And as parents, 190 00:08:41,520 --> 00:08:43,280 Speaker 3: because we love our kids, we've got to make sure 191 00:08:43,280 --> 00:08:46,880 Speaker 3: that they understand clearly our goal is to help, not 192 00:08:47,000 --> 00:08:47,439 Speaker 3: to hurt. 193 00:08:48,400 --> 00:08:49,920 Speaker 4: We're not interested in having conflict. 194 00:08:50,240 --> 00:08:52,880 Speaker 1: We have to end this where over time now. But 195 00:08:54,440 --> 00:08:57,760 Speaker 1: when you have that conversation, the fear is that when 196 00:08:57,760 --> 00:09:00,000 Speaker 1: you talk about that four days the part time you sitting, 197 00:09:00,000 --> 00:09:02,760 Speaker 1: they're playing games, and they go, that's what I want 198 00:09:02,800 --> 00:09:06,320 Speaker 1: to do and nothing you can do about it, And 199 00:09:06,400 --> 00:09:07,959 Speaker 1: you're at this impass. 200 00:09:07,640 --> 00:09:10,160 Speaker 4: Yeah, And because they're adults, technically they're right. 201 00:09:10,679 --> 00:09:12,400 Speaker 3: And at that point you've got to be willing to 202 00:09:12,960 --> 00:09:15,240 Speaker 3: either say all right, well we'll accept that because you're 203 00:09:15,240 --> 00:09:18,600 Speaker 3: an adult, but we don't like it, or all right, well, 204 00:09:18,679 --> 00:09:20,720 Speaker 3: if that's your decision, we're going to have to do 205 00:09:20,760 --> 00:09:22,800 Speaker 3: something that's really hard and we wish we didn't have 206 00:09:22,840 --> 00:09:24,280 Speaker 3: to do it, but we're going to have to ask 207 00:09:24,320 --> 00:09:27,520 Speaker 3: you to make other plans and then you map out 208 00:09:27,520 --> 00:09:30,079 Speaker 3: a time frame. Now I don't like that. I think 209 00:09:30,120 --> 00:09:34,800 Speaker 3: it's horrible, but in some circumstances there may be no alternative, 210 00:09:35,960 --> 00:09:38,400 Speaker 3: probably not in a gaming sort of alternative, but if 211 00:09:38,440 --> 00:09:41,439 Speaker 3: there's problematic gambling or drinking, if there's problematic behaviors that 212 00:09:41,520 --> 00:09:45,560 Speaker 3: are leading to issues for younger kids, or issues for 213 00:09:45,679 --> 00:09:49,200 Speaker 3: your child. The whole way through, though, your child needs 214 00:09:49,240 --> 00:09:52,840 Speaker 3: to know absolutely, unequivocally that you love them and that 215 00:09:52,920 --> 00:09:56,800 Speaker 3: you just want to help them. As soon as they 216 00:09:56,880 --> 00:09:58,480 Speaker 3: feel like you're not trying to help them, you're trying 217 00:09:58,480 --> 00:09:58,920 Speaker 3: to hurt them. 218 00:09:59,200 --> 00:09:59,920 Speaker 4: It goes south. 219 00:10:01,400 --> 00:10:03,480 Speaker 2: Listening to the questions that you had at the beginning, 220 00:10:03,480 --> 00:10:06,240 Speaker 2: there that to have this conversation, I think that means 221 00:10:06,280 --> 00:10:08,920 Speaker 2: that the parents need to implement my three l's, which 222 00:10:08,960 --> 00:10:12,800 Speaker 2: is listen, listen, and listen, which is hard to do 223 00:10:12,840 --> 00:10:15,600 Speaker 2: that without judgment. Doctor Justin Coulson happy to be your 224 00:10:15,600 --> 00:10:20,839 Speaker 2: partner with this parenting Expert thing book. Thanks so much 225 00:10:20,840 --> 00:10:22,240 Speaker 2: for answering Tracy's question today. 226 00:10:22,320 --> 00:10:22,880 Speaker 4: That's a pleasure. 227 00:10:23,440 --> 00:10:25,640 Speaker 2: If you enjoy the podcast, please take a moment to 228 00:10:25,720 --> 00:10:28,440 Speaker 2: rate it on iTunes. When you do that, it increases 229 00:10:28,480 --> 00:10:30,800 Speaker 2: the visibility of the podcast and helps more people to 230 00:10:30,840 --> 00:10:33,360 Speaker 2: find it. And if you're not a subscriber, jump onto 231 00:10:33,400 --> 00:10:35,920 Speaker 2: Apple Podcasts and subscribe so that you can hear every 232 00:10:35,920 --> 00:10:39,120 Speaker 2: episode as soon as it is uploaded. For more information 233 00:10:39,160 --> 00:10:42,480 Speaker 2: on all of doctor Justin Coulson's books, programs, and podcasts, 234 00:10:42,640 --> 00:10:45,280 Speaker 2: go to Happy Families dot com dot au. Or if 235 00:10:45,320 --> 00:10:47,400 Speaker 2: you'd like to have doctor Justin Coulson speak at your 236 00:10:47,440 --> 00:10:55,040 Speaker 2: school or event, go to Justin Coulson dot com.