WEBVTT - FULLSHOW! The conversation we all need to be having around body image 0:00:12.680 --> 0:00:24.560 Laura, come on, how guy Hay Thursday everybody, Laura, what 0:00:24.640 --> 0:00:25.120 have you done? 0:00:25.120 --> 0:00:29.640 Britt Mitch? Yeah, I have a question for you. I 0:00:29.680 --> 0:00:31.600 love to do my research. I love statistics. I love 0:00:31.600 --> 0:00:32.360 a study. 0:00:32.560 --> 0:00:35.760 Yes, you're always reading, but I am wondering where you 0:00:35.840 --> 0:00:38.040 love to read. I do love to get knowledge is power. 0:00:38.440 --> 0:00:42.240 I have come across an alarming statistic. I am wondering 0:00:42.720 --> 0:00:45.240 why Australia is spending their money on this sort of research. 0:00:45.320 --> 0:00:48.599 But alas, that's not my problem. Eight in ten Aussies 0:00:48.680 --> 0:00:52.239 have admitted to what finished that sentence. 0:00:54.520 --> 0:00:54.680 Too? 0:00:55.280 --> 0:00:55.960 Don't overthink it. 0:00:56.240 --> 0:01:01.600 I don't know roll. Yeah, I admit that. 0:01:01.600 --> 0:01:04.280 That's ten out of ten. No, eight and ten Osies 0:01:04.360 --> 0:01:05.680 have admitted to shoplifting. 0:01:06.440 --> 0:01:08.399 Oh that was my next thought. Yeah, we Ozzie's love 0:01:08.440 --> 0:01:08.880 to steal. 0:01:09.240 --> 0:01:10.080 That's so bad. 0:01:10.240 --> 0:01:11.720 That is very high. 0:01:11.880 --> 0:01:14.920 I mean I wonder how I wonder how bad the 0:01:14.959 --> 0:01:18.200 shoplifting is, Like are you scanning an extra tomato when 0:01:18.200 --> 0:01:19.759 you're going through the checkout or is it like you're 0:01:19.760 --> 0:01:24.480 actually putting, you know, something that's a significant value into 0:01:24.560 --> 0:01:24.920 your bag. 0:01:25.040 --> 0:01:27.280 I also wonder, like what the age bracket was. I 0:01:27.280 --> 0:01:29.080 don't have the details here, so it's top line. But 0:01:29.680 --> 0:01:31.840 I would have had to have said yes to this. 0:01:31.880 --> 0:01:33.040 I would have said yes. So I have been a 0:01:33.080 --> 0:01:36.520 shoplifter when I was five, I really I wasn't allowed 0:01:36.520 --> 0:01:38.880 to have chewing gum and bubble gum and all my 0:01:38.880 --> 0:01:41.920 friends had Hubba Bubba the meat along Hubba bubba you 0:01:41.920 --> 0:01:45.080 know those, and I was allowed to. So I just 0:01:45.120 --> 0:01:47.800 took one from a supermarket with mum, and then Mum 0:01:47.840 --> 0:01:49.440 saw me eating it and made me take it back. 0:01:49.480 --> 0:01:50.960 But officially I'm a shoplift. 0:01:51.320 --> 0:01:52.240 You would have to look at you. 0:01:52.640 --> 0:01:55.920 Honestly, I have never ever ever shoplift anything. But that 0:01:56.120 --> 0:01:58.200 was because I got into so much trouble for nicking 0:01:58.200 --> 0:01:59.720 some stickers when I was a really little kid at 0:01:59.720 --> 0:02:00.559 school that. 0:02:00.480 --> 0:02:02.960 It has scley. Oh you did you still stickers? 0:02:03.000 --> 0:02:05.880 Okay, Now I don't steal, but I still from work. 0:02:06.280 --> 0:02:07.600 I still from the office all the time. 0:02:07.680 --> 0:02:09.200 I would just I wish you could see what Mitch 0:02:09.240 --> 0:02:11.400 brings to work. I mean, Mitch comes to work with 0:02:11.480 --> 0:02:13.800 a backpack that looks like a garbage bag, and he 0:02:13.880 --> 0:02:15.920 literally just he'll put full cartons. 0:02:15.560 --> 0:02:17.480 Of almond milk in here. What I see here, Mitch? 0:02:17.520 --> 0:02:19.160 Have you know that that's all worked into my contract 0:02:19.160 --> 0:02:21.160 and I can get it printed for you our bonuses 0:02:21.160 --> 0:02:24.120 that I've negotiated hard for. Okay, all right, let's do 0:02:24.160 --> 0:02:25.760 the show. We've got an ask gun Cut coming up. 0:02:25.800 --> 0:02:27.400 You guys do it on the Life un Cut podcast, 0:02:27.400 --> 0:02:29.160 but we do it every Thursday on the Pickup, and. 0:02:29.120 --> 0:02:32.320 We have a very big question about workplace friendships, which 0:02:32.320 --> 0:02:34.120 we all know can get sometimes. 0:02:33.760 --> 0:02:34.440 A little bit messy. 0:02:34.520 --> 0:02:36.800 You directing that at us, LAUA, No, I love you, Okay, 0:02:36.880 --> 0:02:38.160 love your coming up. 0:02:38.320 --> 0:02:45.800 Coming up on the pickup, Ask Uncut. 0:02:43.560 --> 0:02:44.440 So ask gun Cut. 0:02:44.520 --> 0:02:46.800 It's something we do on our podcast Life on Cut 0:02:46.840 --> 0:02:49.760 every week. It's where you you're calling with your deep 0:02:49.840 --> 0:02:52.480 you're dark, your biggest problems, and we do our absolute 0:02:52.480 --> 0:02:55.119 best to answer them, even if we have zero experience. 0:02:55.240 --> 0:02:57.520 Yeah, we trys enthusiastic. 0:02:57.120 --> 0:02:59.720 And we have the very lovely grace that's called in 0:02:59.760 --> 0:03:02.360 with the bit of a friendship workplace conundrum. 0:03:02.360 --> 0:03:03.160 What's happening, Grace? 0:03:03.280 --> 0:03:06.400 I have been at work this workplace for about year 0:03:06.400 --> 0:03:09.120 and a half and got really good friends with this 0:03:09.240 --> 0:03:12.160 girl and hung out outside of work, you know, go 0:03:12.240 --> 0:03:16.240 to concerts, But at work she pretends that she doesn't. 0:03:16.000 --> 0:03:20.320 Know me, so weird. What do you mean, like doesn't 0:03:20.320 --> 0:03:21.160 even acknowledge you. 0:03:22.240 --> 0:03:25.240 Doesn't acknowledge me. And every time, you know, she has 0:03:25.280 --> 0:03:27.400 to reintroduce herself in front of people. 0:03:27.639 --> 0:03:28.799 Oh my god. 0:03:29.400 --> 0:03:31.600 And what you've spent time with it, You've socialized outside 0:03:31.600 --> 0:03:33.239 of work as friends. 0:03:33.120 --> 0:03:34.040 Oh all the time. 0:03:34.639 --> 0:03:36.360 So Grace, have you ever said to her like what's 0:03:36.400 --> 0:03:38.280 going on? Or has she is? 0:03:38.440 --> 0:03:40.120 Do you do you have a feeling that there's a 0:03:40.160 --> 0:03:41.240 reason why she's doing this? 0:03:42.240 --> 0:03:44.960 Well, I've asked her before it, but she doesn't even 0:03:45.000 --> 0:03:48.760 acknowledge the question. She moves on and talked about something else. 0:03:49.560 --> 0:03:52.600 I mean, she's I'm gonna call it here, But she's 0:03:52.640 --> 0:03:53.320 not a friend, Grace. 0:03:53.320 --> 0:03:55.240 That's not someone you want in your life, no way. 0:03:55.320 --> 0:03:56.960 That's someone that wants to be with you when it 0:03:57.000 --> 0:04:00.280 suits them for whatever reason. It's like in a relationship, 0:04:00.320 --> 0:04:03.080 like friendships or relationships, you don't want to be with 0:04:03.160 --> 0:04:06.800 someone that's embarrassed by you or doesn't want people to 0:04:06.840 --> 0:04:10.400 know your friends, Like there it's CRA's It's a strange thing. 0:04:10.560 --> 0:04:13.000 Also, like Grace, has she I mean, when you're with 0:04:13.040 --> 0:04:15.400 her and you're hanging out outside of work, is she 0:04:15.480 --> 0:04:17.920 like very engaged in your life? Like do you hang 0:04:17.920 --> 0:04:20.040 out one on one or is it usually in friendship groups? 0:04:20.040 --> 0:04:20.120 Like? 0:04:20.160 --> 0:04:21.960 How is that dynamic when you're not at work? 0:04:23.200 --> 0:04:25.760 Perfect, it's like we're best friends. It's one on one. 0:04:26.160 --> 0:04:29.920 She's intrigued with the conversation, but it's almost she's twisted 0:04:30.040 --> 0:04:30.599 at work. 0:04:30.720 --> 0:04:33.359 Well, so hold on, what's what's the workplace dynamic? Is 0:04:33.360 --> 0:04:34.680 she above you? Are you under her? 0:04:35.440 --> 0:04:37.240 We work in different departments. 0:04:37.600 --> 0:04:39.040 Do you know what I would do? I know you've 0:04:39.120 --> 0:04:41.359 already asked her, and she ignores the fact. 0:04:41.520 --> 0:04:44.560 Next time you're around a bunch of people, there's lots 0:04:44.600 --> 0:04:46.760 of work colleagues around, I would say, like I would 0:04:46.800 --> 0:04:49.679 yell out something like, oh hey, Rachel, you left you're 0:04:49.720 --> 0:04:51.400 winning the pooper charms at my house last night, but 0:04:51.440 --> 0:04:52.960 I'll drop them off tonight after work. 0:04:53.240 --> 0:04:55.840 How that gastro from last night's Indian we had together? 0:04:55.960 --> 0:04:57.799 And cause I've got some gastro stuff. 0:04:57.920 --> 0:04:59.479 Yeah, you know how you ask me for that cream 0:04:59.520 --> 0:05:01.560 to clear up rash? No, but I wouldn't make it. 0:05:01.640 --> 0:05:04.080 I would make a point of letting everyone know, because 0:05:04.080 --> 0:05:05.320 what she going to do then she can't be like, 0:05:05.320 --> 0:05:05.960 what are you talking about? 0:05:05.960 --> 0:05:08.160 I don't know? You like, just let everyone know? Just okay? 0:05:08.200 --> 0:05:10.360 After last you left that at my house last night, whatever, 0:05:10.720 --> 0:05:12.200 and then see what happens. But at the end of 0:05:12.200 --> 0:05:14.039 the day, I don't think it sounds to me like 0:05:14.080 --> 0:05:16.479 it's not a friendship worth pursuing. If someone feels like 0:05:16.960 --> 0:05:18.520 they want to pretend they don't know you in front 0:05:18.560 --> 0:05:19.960 of other people, that's not a friendship. 0:05:20.160 --> 0:05:21.080 It makes no sense. 0:05:21.240 --> 0:05:22.720 The only thing that I come back to you, British 0:05:22.760 --> 0:05:24.560 like what you said like, is she is she embarrassed? 0:05:24.560 --> 0:05:26.400 And if she feels embarrassed, like there's more stuff that 0:05:26.440 --> 0:05:28.000 she has to work on them What you're doing wrong? 0:05:28.040 --> 0:05:28.240 Grace? 0:05:28.320 --> 0:05:31.600 Like totally, I would be absolutely reconsidering my friendship groups 0:05:31.600 --> 0:05:31.880 at work. 0:05:31.960 --> 0:05:37.200 Yeah, like I embarrassed brittin Laura, but I think him, Yeah, 0:05:37.480 --> 0:05:38.440 hope that helps Grace. 0:05:38.839 --> 0:05:41.480 I'm sorry, that's just awful. 0:05:42.560 --> 0:05:43.320 Todays for the help. 0:05:43.360 --> 0:05:45.120 Guys, you want to get in touch youging dms at 0:05:45.160 --> 0:05:46.960 the pickup or the pickup dot com dot au if you've. 0:05:46.880 --> 0:05:48.160 Got a question, well look coming up. 0:05:48.279 --> 0:05:50.320 I mean, we all know that there are a lot 0:05:50.360 --> 0:05:53.039 of women deal with body issues and feelings of body 0:05:53.040 --> 0:05:55.800 insecurity or there's been some new research that's come out 0:05:55.800 --> 0:05:58.120 that talks about just how mums might be affecting their 0:05:58.200 --> 0:06:00.520 kids and also contribut to it. 0:06:00.560 --> 0:06:02.680 All Right, that's next here on the pickup. 0:06:03.080 --> 0:06:05.039 Now, this is a conversation I feel is going to 0:06:05.080 --> 0:06:07.200 relate to a lot of the women who are listening. 0:06:07.240 --> 0:06:09.279 I would go so far as to say that most 0:06:09.360 --> 0:06:12.480 women growing up have at some point in their life 0:06:12.640 --> 0:06:17.360 had feelings of you know, complicated. 0:06:16.800 --> 0:06:18.200 Feelings about their own body image. 0:06:18.200 --> 0:06:21.320 And I mean whether that's that you've had negative connotations 0:06:21.360 --> 0:06:24.520 around being having weight on you, whether you've felt like 0:06:24.560 --> 0:06:27.240 you were beautiful enough or skinny enough, all of those feelings, 0:06:27.279 --> 0:06:29.480 and it's because society tells you that there's one version 0:06:29.520 --> 0:06:33.359 of being a woman that is the most desirable. Now, 0:06:33.440 --> 0:06:35.240 there's been a new research study that's come out and 0:06:35.279 --> 0:06:37.560 it's come out of the South Australia's Flinder's University, and 0:06:37.600 --> 0:06:40.400 it's all around body image. But the thing that they're 0:06:40.400 --> 0:06:44.840 really honed in on here is how instrumental and how 0:06:44.880 --> 0:06:47.920 impactful our mothers can be in the way that they 0:06:47.960 --> 0:06:50.480 speak about their own body image, in the way that 0:06:50.520 --> 0:06:52.880 what they call and deemed fat talk. And it's that 0:06:52.960 --> 0:06:55.440 moment where your mum might say something like, oh, you know, 0:06:55.640 --> 0:06:57.760 I shouldn't wear those pants like my stomach doesn't look 0:06:57.800 --> 0:07:00.919 good in this and how those sorts of criticisms that 0:07:00.960 --> 0:07:04.000 we can do as mothers have this long lasting impact 0:07:04.040 --> 0:07:05.880 on our children and the way in which they grow 0:07:05.960 --> 0:07:07.120 up to view their own bodies. 0:07:07.800 --> 0:07:08.479 I think a lot of that. 0:07:08.760 --> 0:07:12.640 I mean, I'm being nitpicky here, but of course there's 0:07:12.680 --> 0:07:14.240 going to be instrumental in the way you grew up 0:07:14.240 --> 0:07:16.840 as a young woman because you're direct day to day 0:07:16.840 --> 0:07:19.960 contacted your mum. But it would be crazy to say 0:07:19.960 --> 0:07:23.560 that it's not also a generational thing, especially for our generation. Laura, 0:07:24.040 --> 0:07:27.080 the heroine sheikh look that was really popular, the things 0:07:27.080 --> 0:07:29.920 that we saw all over the magazines that definitely attributed 0:07:29.920 --> 0:07:30.360 to it too. 0:07:30.600 --> 0:07:32.160 Yeah, But I think the thing that's so interesting about 0:07:32.160 --> 0:07:34.720 this is, like we all it's been well spoken about 0:07:34.800 --> 0:07:37.440 the cultural impacts of what that's had on body image. 0:07:37.560 --> 0:07:41.000 It's been well documented that it permeated magazines that it's 0:07:41.040 --> 0:07:44.000 been part of, like the social conversation that I don't 0:07:44.040 --> 0:07:46.520 think that there's been many conversations surrounding the impacts that 0:07:46.560 --> 0:07:48.840 our mums have and how early that can start. And 0:07:48.840 --> 0:07:51.160 this is not about mum shaming, because like we've I mean, 0:07:51.320 --> 0:07:54.120 even a mum myself I've experienced it with my daughter 0:07:54.200 --> 0:07:58.080 Marley around makeup. So Marley's four and she will see 0:07:58.120 --> 0:08:00.320 me putting on makeup and then she'll say, well, Mummy, 0:08:00.320 --> 0:08:02.120 why do you need makeup? And I can't wear it? 0:08:02.160 --> 0:08:04.600 And I'm like, oh, because mummy needs it and you don't. 0:08:04.960 --> 0:08:07.160 So then what's that subliminal message saying to her that 0:08:07.240 --> 0:08:09.400 Mummy's not beautiful without it, that I need to have 0:08:09.440 --> 0:08:12.920 it because I'm not beautiful but she is. It's these 0:08:13.040 --> 0:08:15.600 small subtle ways in which we can have digs at 0:08:15.600 --> 0:08:18.480 ourself and in the way that we view ourselves. They 0:08:18.480 --> 0:08:20.800 can actually impact how our kids grow up to view 0:08:21.160 --> 0:08:23.480 their self confidence and how they view their own bodies 0:08:23.480 --> 0:08:25.640 without even intentionally realizing what we're doing. 0:08:25.720 --> 0:08:27.040 Well, Laurie, you've got two kids. 0:08:27.760 --> 0:08:29.480 There things that your mom said to you growing up 0:08:29.480 --> 0:08:31.600 that you thought you're actively not going to say to 0:08:31.640 --> 0:08:32.160 your girls. 0:08:32.240 --> 0:08:34.720 No, my mom herself, she I grew up. My mum 0:08:34.760 --> 0:08:37.520 was very, very, very slim my whole life. I never 0:08:37.600 --> 0:08:40.640 remember my mum having any weight issues. But I do 0:08:40.679 --> 0:08:42.959 remember my mom not eating a lot like I don't, 0:08:43.000 --> 0:08:44.920 as in like she would have very small meals. She 0:08:44.960 --> 0:08:47.680 was always on the go. She was and that's probably 0:08:47.679 --> 0:08:49.240 being on the go because she had three kids and 0:08:49.240 --> 0:08:51.600 she was a single mum. But yeah, I mean I 0:08:51.640 --> 0:08:56.360 grew up definitely feeling having concerns around weight and thinking 0:08:56.400 --> 0:08:59.800 that to be more beautiful, I needed to be slim. 0:09:00.080 --> 0:09:02.400 And it was definitely when I was older. There was 0:09:02.440 --> 0:09:05.040 throwaway comments of like when I went to UNI and 0:09:05.080 --> 0:09:06.640 I put on a few kilos, there was a few 0:09:06.640 --> 0:09:08.480 comments of like, oh, you're sure you're not pregnant, You've 0:09:08.480 --> 0:09:10.760 put on some weight, Like that's not I think that 0:09:10.800 --> 0:09:12.520 like a lot of people have expected like sure, mom, 0:09:12.559 --> 0:09:14.280 I've got it. No, Mum, I've just found beer and 0:09:14.280 --> 0:09:17.120 I'm at the UNI bar. But like, it definitely was 0:09:17.240 --> 0:09:19.559 never meant to be hurtful, and my mum is such 0:09:19.559 --> 0:09:21.840 an incredible mum. I in no way would want her 0:09:21.880 --> 0:09:23.760 to hear that and think that she damaged me in 0:09:23.800 --> 0:09:26.960 any way. But I do think that sometimes as parents 0:09:27.000 --> 0:09:31.320 we don't necessarily consider the impact that those small comments 0:09:31.360 --> 0:09:33.440 can have and how that can affect our kids. 0:09:34.040 --> 0:09:36.240 Look, and I want to pin it all on the mothers, 0:09:36.240 --> 0:09:38.360 and like we just said before, we're on a mum shame. 0:09:38.400 --> 0:09:42.400 And I think back to my childhood, my mom was 0:09:42.440 --> 0:09:46.280 really great, Like I didn't hear her talk badly about herself. 0:09:46.720 --> 0:09:50.040 If she did it, it was her internal monologue. So 0:09:50.040 --> 0:09:53.320 so my role model was really positive. But what's interesting 0:09:53.360 --> 0:09:54.920 about that, and the reason I say we shouldn't be 0:09:54.960 --> 0:09:57.400 blaming all the mums, is because even though I had 0:09:57.440 --> 0:10:01.600 this safe, positive environment, I still grow up and sometimes 0:10:01.640 --> 0:10:04.880 I have to check myself with how I talk about myself. 0:10:05.640 --> 0:10:07.520 Sometimes it's just to myself. I'm not talking about to 0:10:07.600 --> 0:10:08.120 anyone else. 0:10:08.160 --> 0:10:09.680 Maybe it's just maybe you look in the mirror and 0:10:09.679 --> 0:10:11.800 you're having an off day and you feel you feel 0:10:11.800 --> 0:10:14.920 bad or you feel quote unquote gross, and you say 0:10:14.960 --> 0:10:16.960 you say something that's not so nice about yourself. 0:10:16.960 --> 0:10:19.240 And I think that's when you have to check yourself 0:10:19.240 --> 0:10:20.720 and say, hang on, would. 0:10:20.520 --> 0:10:22.880 I ever say that to you, Laura, Like, would I 0:10:22.880 --> 0:10:24.440 ever say you look gross today? 0:10:24.679 --> 0:10:27.040 You would never. Would you say it to your daughter? 0:10:27.200 --> 0:10:28.120 You would never. 0:10:28.360 --> 0:10:30.319 So I think you have to ask yourself, if I'm 0:10:30.320 --> 0:10:31.800 not going to say that to someone else, why should 0:10:31.800 --> 0:10:32.480 I be saying. 0:10:32.280 --> 0:10:33.439 It to myself? 0:10:33.559 --> 0:10:35.560 Yeah, And I totally agree, Britt, And I think it 0:10:35.559 --> 0:10:38.079 comes back to this idea that like people are never 0:10:38.120 --> 0:10:40.760 going to escape it, like we said it permeates so 0:10:40.960 --> 0:10:43.880 much of culture, like it permeates so much of the 0:10:43.880 --> 0:10:44.959 discourse online. 0:10:45.200 --> 0:10:46.760 But the place that it doesn't need to be is 0:10:46.760 --> 0:10:47.360 in your own home. 0:10:47.480 --> 0:10:49.520 I think it should be a haven for kids where 0:10:49.520 --> 0:10:51.640 they don't feel subjected to it and they don't need 0:10:51.679 --> 0:10:53.200 to see it play out in their parents. 0:10:53.280 --> 0:10:54.840 Can I just add Laura, also, a lot of it 0:10:54.880 --> 0:10:57.120 isn't actually about your size or your weight. I've just 0:10:57.200 --> 0:10:59.600 lost forty kilos. I had those thoughts before, and I 0:10:59.640 --> 0:11:01.720 still have those thoughts, and I'm forty kilo. I'm the 0:11:01.720 --> 0:11:04.439 fittest I've ever been. So it's education and it's the 0:11:04.480 --> 0:11:06.719 way you talk to yourself. I think very important, Britt. 0:11:06.480 --> 0:11:09.200 And I think often you know what, I guess, we 0:11:09.240 --> 0:11:11.920 can speak so negatively about ourselves, Like the things that 0:11:11.960 --> 0:11:14.240 we would say about ourselves we may never ever ever 0:11:14.280 --> 0:11:16.160 say to our children, right, we would never say it 0:11:16.200 --> 0:11:18.040 to our friends, we would never say it to people 0:11:18.080 --> 0:11:20.000 that we care about. But sometimes we can be our 0:11:20.040 --> 0:11:22.880 own harshest critics, and then our kids can see that 0:11:23.000 --> 0:11:25.480 and then they internalize it. And I guess trying to 0:11:25.559 --> 0:11:28.560 really be conscious around exactly like you said, Mitch, like 0:11:28.679 --> 0:11:31.280 using language that makes them not question the things that 0:11:31.760 --> 0:11:34.200 might grow and to becoming insecurities in them as well. 0:11:34.360 --> 0:11:36.439 Yeah, food for thought, isn't it? Definitely? 0:11:36.760 --> 0:11:38.800 Well, Mitch, what's this dating story you've been dying to tell. 0:11:38.920 --> 0:11:40.400 I'm back on the dating scene, and I went on 0:11:40.440 --> 0:11:42.600 a date on the weekend, and I had the shock 0:11:42.720 --> 0:11:45.079 of my life when I thought the date was just 0:11:45.120 --> 0:11:48.040 between me and this guy. The whole room got involved 0:11:48.400 --> 0:11:51.880 with the discourse between our relationship. I'll tell you all 0:11:51.880 --> 0:11:55.080 about it next you're at the pickup Britt Laurie. You 0:11:55.120 --> 0:11:58.079 know I'm on the dating scene. I'm back on the apps. 0:11:58.200 --> 0:11:58.920 I'm single. 0:11:59.440 --> 0:12:02.319 Yeah, we haven't some successes too, my little Mitch jury. 0:12:02.400 --> 0:12:05.280 We're all living vicariously three now because Laura and I 0:12:05.280 --> 0:12:06.120 have settled down. 0:12:06.240 --> 0:12:09.000 There's this guy that I'm currently seeing. He's gorgeous, he's 0:12:09.120 --> 0:12:11.199 very sweet. Just a couple of dates, like five or 0:12:11.240 --> 0:12:12.880 six dates. So it's at that point where it's like, 0:12:13.120 --> 0:12:15.000 we've got to make a choice. What way do we go. 0:12:15.080 --> 0:12:16.560 We're gonna end this or we're gonna have a chat 0:12:16.559 --> 0:12:19.560 about what's next. Anyway, the only issue I can see 0:12:19.600 --> 0:12:21.560 between the two of us is that it's very cute, 0:12:21.679 --> 0:12:23.880 very nice. We get along good banter, I'm twenty eight, 0:12:24.080 --> 0:12:24.800 he's twenty one. 0:12:25.400 --> 0:12:28.600 He's so young, and I know is look, I know, 0:12:28.679 --> 0:12:30.680 seven years isn't that big of an age gap. I 0:12:30.760 --> 0:12:33.000 just think twenty one year olds and this is a 0:12:33.120 --> 0:12:35.880 very blanket statement, But they don't always want the things 0:12:35.880 --> 0:12:37.360 that a twenty eight year old wants. There's a lot 0:12:37.400 --> 0:12:39.319 of life that happens in your twenties, which I think 0:12:39.400 --> 0:12:41.080 is a really important part of life. 0:12:41.160 --> 0:12:42.319 Yeah, I wanted to drive to the date, and he 0:12:42.320 --> 0:12:45.040 wanted to get the train because he don't have a car. Anyway, 0:12:45.040 --> 0:12:46.719 we go to this restaurant. It's really nice. It's a 0:12:46.760 --> 0:12:50.040 cocktail bar, and we're there, we're ordering, and the banter 0:12:50.200 --> 0:12:51.800 is kind of about the age gap between the two 0:12:51.800 --> 0:12:52.920 of us, because he thinks it's funny. 0:12:52.960 --> 0:12:54.240 I think it's I think it's a bit annoying that 0:12:54.240 --> 0:12:55.040 he keeps bringing it up. 0:12:55.120 --> 0:12:56.680 So I lean over to this couple next to us, 0:12:56.720 --> 0:12:59.559 who are on another spa stool at this cocktail bar, 0:13:00.280 --> 0:13:02.599 is playing It's an underground Den, and I go, you 0:13:02.640 --> 0:13:04.120 know what, I'm gonna nick this in the butt once 0:13:04.160 --> 0:13:05.720 and for all. So I turned to this young couple, 0:13:05.760 --> 0:13:07.400 probably a little bit older than me, in their thirties. 0:13:07.679 --> 0:13:09.360 Excuse me, guys, sorry, and I'm got a bit of 0:13:09.360 --> 0:13:09.960 liquid courage. 0:13:10.000 --> 0:13:11.960 I go, look at the two of us, look at 0:13:12.000 --> 0:13:13.240 the two of us, and you tell me who do 0:13:13.280 --> 0:13:14.200 you think is old? 0:13:14.280 --> 0:13:17.200 And they go you. I didn't even finish the sentence. 0:13:17.240 --> 0:13:18.880 And who do you think is older? But that you 0:13:18.960 --> 0:13:19.680 with a brown hair? 0:13:20.320 --> 0:13:22.280 I have seen the person you're dating. Yeah, and I 0:13:22.320 --> 0:13:24.120 feel like that you're setting yourself. 0:13:23.880 --> 0:13:26.600 Up to fight, So okay, shut up. The bartender comes around. 0:13:26.600 --> 0:13:28.280 Can I get your boys any more drinks? I go, yes, 0:13:28.400 --> 0:13:31.480 you can, and can you tell me who between the 0:13:31.480 --> 0:13:32.520 two of us is? Oh? 0:13:32.559 --> 0:13:34.040 Actually taps you on the shoulder. It's like this one 0:13:34.120 --> 0:13:36.960 right here. Absolutely you. I'm like, okay, man at the back. 0:13:37.040 --> 0:13:40.079 When your two children come over here, kids, Hi, kids, Hi, 0:13:40.320 --> 0:13:41.040 Who out. 0:13:40.840 --> 0:13:43.000 Of the two of us is an older human? They 0:13:43.080 --> 0:13:43.760 all point the. 0:13:43.720 --> 0:13:45.920 Big one, big one. 0:13:46.679 --> 0:13:48.240 This shocking to you, Mitch. 0:13:48.920 --> 0:13:51.360 Maybe you have some body dysmorphia where you think you 0:13:51.400 --> 0:13:52.439 look younger than you do. 0:13:52.760 --> 0:13:53.480 How dare you? 0:13:53.600 --> 0:13:53.760 Well? 0:13:53.800 --> 0:13:55.760 I mean, you don't look like a twenty eight year old, Mitch. 0:13:55.760 --> 0:13:56.760 You don't look like a twenty one. 0:13:56.640 --> 0:13:58.840 Now, and so what was the purpose of this on 0:13:58.920 --> 0:14:01.800 the spot spontaneous survey of the room, interrupting everyone's lovely 0:14:01.840 --> 0:14:02.120 night out. 0:14:02.200 --> 0:14:04.080 It was purely to make me feel better about the 0:14:04.120 --> 0:14:05.920 age gap not being an issue, because in my mind, 0:14:05.960 --> 0:14:07.400 I don't think it is that big of an issue, 0:14:07.400 --> 0:14:10.400 but apparently everyone thinks it is anything. 0:14:10.520 --> 0:14:12.920 What's funny you say that because I actually recently came 0:14:12.960 --> 0:14:18.360 across a study A little bit of it read I 0:14:18.400 --> 0:14:21.640 love some science. No, Mitch, I'm sorry to be the 0:14:21.680 --> 0:14:23.760 one to tell you. Just remind me what's sage different? 0:14:23.760 --> 0:14:25.320 Sevens and you years? Okay? 0:14:25.440 --> 0:14:25.880 Eight years? 0:14:25.920 --> 0:14:27.760 Well, all right, even worse than thought. 0:14:27.800 --> 0:14:31.200 There's a study that experts have done and there is 0:14:31.240 --> 0:14:35.920 a correlation between age gaps in a relationship and how 0:14:36.080 --> 0:14:37.640 likely the relationship is to break up. 0:14:37.840 --> 0:14:39.520 Okay, A long story short. 0:14:39.600 --> 0:14:41.800 The bigger the age gap, the more likely you are 0:14:42.040 --> 0:14:43.440 for that relationship to not work. 0:14:43.480 --> 0:14:47.680 Now, if we go into your category of what's so fun? 0:14:48.560 --> 0:14:49.840 Have your category of. 0:14:49.880 --> 0:14:54.480 Seen you no five years difference? So five years and above? 0:14:54.560 --> 0:14:58.880 Since your category is an added eighteen percent on top 0:14:58.920 --> 0:15:01.120 of the normal breakup, to what odds you are of 0:15:01.200 --> 0:15:01.720 breaking up? 0:15:01.840 --> 0:15:02.080 Dear? 0:15:02.600 --> 0:15:06.240 Really, e fifteen works, doesn't it? Eighteen percent more likely? 0:15:06.400 --> 0:15:08.600 I don't believe, so tap out. Now, I don't believe. 0:15:08.680 --> 0:15:09.720 I don't believe it, do you know? 0:15:09.800 --> 0:15:12.440 I just think age gaps matter more the younger you are, 0:15:12.520 --> 0:15:14.240 So like, if you're a teenager and there's an eight 0:15:14.280 --> 0:15:16.600 year age gap, that is illegal. If you are in 0:15:16.640 --> 0:15:18.560 your twenties and there's an eight year age gap, then 0:15:18.600 --> 0:15:20.600 that just becomes a bit tricky because there's so much 0:15:20.640 --> 0:15:21.120 life to live. 0:15:21.240 --> 0:15:23.400 If you're in your thirties and there's an eight not that. 0:15:23.360 --> 0:15:26.480 Bad sixties, no one cares sixty one sixty nine year old. 0:15:26.560 --> 0:15:28.200 You can date all day long. No one cares the 0:15:28.240 --> 0:15:30.760 age gap. I mean, like, I'm giving you a hard time, Midge. 0:15:30.760 --> 0:15:32.840 But the age gap for my last relationship was seven 0:15:32.920 --> 0:15:35.320 years and I was seven years older, so like hell 0:15:35.400 --> 0:15:41.240 Scandalo Bran, but the difference was twenty seven to whatever 0:15:41.280 --> 0:15:44.520 that is thirty five. Also, the other difference is people 0:15:44.880 --> 0:15:45.960