Speaker 1: Matthew. Good morning. Hi, Hi, how are you. I've got
Speaker 1: some fantastic news for you. Please. Someone has suggested a
Speaker 1: middle name for the pending Johnson that is to be born, So.
Speaker 2: Marley suggested one, which I like. I'm going to keep
Speaker 2: a secret is Bell.
Speaker 1: Welcome back to two doting dads. I am Maddie j
Speaker 1: and I am Ash.
Speaker 2: And this is a podcast all about parenting.
Speaker 1: It is the good, it is the bad and the
Speaker 1: relatable until he say relentless again, but I didn't well done,
Speaker 1: thank you. We don't give advice, Ash. So there is
Speaker 1: a doting list by the name of Mel. Her name
Speaker 1: is She has no kids. She doesn't have any anymore.
Speaker 1: That's weird. Rp your dogs. She owns the surf Shop Ah,
Speaker 1: which I am a senior team writer for. That's a joke.
Speaker 1: Is that where I bought my board on Board. They've
Speaker 1: got a couple of shops. I got Mono Vail, I've
Speaker 1: got Byron, They've got two in Bali And anyway, she is.
Speaker 1: She listens every week regardless, and I pop in there
Speaker 1: every week and she always harps on about how much
Speaker 1: she loves us. So thank you, Mel. Can I just
Speaker 1: say I love Mel, I love you, she will love that.
Speaker 1: She's got stunning red glasses she wears just so you know.
Speaker 1: She's very very cool. Okay, so she can I just
Speaker 1: have a look at that. Yes, of course that's for
Speaker 1: your car.
Speaker 2: Air Freshman perfect because the Volkswagen is very moldy at
Speaker 2: the moment.
Speaker 1: It's dangy. Yeah, that's gonna get you. That's gonna get
Speaker 1: your Farralf.
Speaker 2: Then you nice little air fresh No, what has she got?
Speaker 1: Mel? Hit me? So you mentioned in a podcast a
Speaker 1: couple of weeks ago that there was Christmas. Eve, spit
Speaker 1: it out. What do you got for me? Come on, Eve? Okay,
Speaker 1: poppy Eve Johnson boom, I don't wanna.
Speaker 2: Yeah, No, it's a great suggestion, but it was Christmas
Speaker 2: Day that we conceived.
Speaker 1: He can get back. It's still relevant, Eve, Eve. Bit
Speaker 1: of like a street name.
Speaker 2: Eve's got to shive doesn't really roll off the love it,
Speaker 2: Eve Johnson.
Speaker 1: No, it's poppy Eve.
Speaker 2: I was just just just the tail end of it.
Speaker 1: I think you should can continue with May. Like my
Speaker 1: mum is Mary Maywicks. Beth Is mayor Bethany Maywicks. That's weird,
Speaker 1: Elizabeth may Wicks, that's weird.
Speaker 2: She's got noise canceling heads and we'll get to my mum.
Speaker 2: Sure she is in the she's in the room. She's
Speaker 2: currently sitting on the couch with headphones on.
Speaker 1: Okay, I'm just.
Speaker 2: Gonna let it Marin. I'm not saying no, I'm not
Speaker 2: saying yes. I'm saying and.
Speaker 1: Maybe, well, maild hay Ash.
Speaker 2: I just came straight from an incredible sporting event.
Speaker 1: The Olympics, the Enhanced Olympics close similar.
Speaker 2: This event has been postponed week after week after week
Speaker 2: because the weather's been terrible here in Sydney.
Speaker 1: They don't let the kids run in.
Speaker 2: The wet cross country Finally happened three day changes. This
Speaker 2: morning was this morning.
Speaker 1: And you know, I told you.
Speaker 2: I've been trying to get on the newsletter of the email.
Speaker 2: I'm not on there email blast, so I rely purely
Speaker 2: on the group chat on WhatsApp. And so I'm in there.
Speaker 1: I'm okay.
Speaker 2: And I was like, guys, like anyone off the restaurant tomorrow.
Speaker 2: They were like, yeah, it's a ninet fifteen.
Speaker 1: The group chat. I got added to that and I
Speaker 1: removed myself immediately. Oh now it's it's useful. Well yeah,
Speaker 1: I know it would be useful, but I'm like not fair.
Speaker 2: So this morning was the morning and it was it
Speaker 2: was exciting. The only kindy year one and two were
Speaker 2: running okay, so it was great. It was short, it
Speaker 2: was punchy.
Speaker 1: What was yours again? Yours is like two kilometers a kilometer?
Speaker 1: I think ours was like I.
Speaker 2: Guess if that was like a ten k equivalent. Ours
Speaker 2: was like the fifteen hundred. It was like a good
Speaker 2: middle distance. They have like a little like would you
Speaker 2: call it a quadrangle?
Speaker 1: I love that word. Go unter, the discoverage wrong.
Speaker 2: With two laps, two laps around the front courtyard.
Speaker 1: The quad, the quad, thank you? Wow, I was nervous.
Speaker 1: Were there any kids crying? Oh yeah, they get mate.
Speaker 2: It's quite like okay. Race one, Race one, boys and
Speaker 2: girls raced together. One girl, God, she quick. She was
Speaker 2: like she she won by like a lap.
Speaker 1: Center to the Enhanced Games. Aaron Magnuson, like, it was
Speaker 1: incredible to see.
Speaker 2: I was there with my sister and I was like,
Speaker 2: look at this girl, and I was like, she's going
Speaker 2: to slow down.
Speaker 1: After the first lap. Faster doping, doping. I was definitely dope.
Speaker 1: I was thinking that can I tell you, when I
Speaker 1: was in primary school, there was a there was a
Speaker 1: rumor older years, not kindy, there was rumors of a
Speaker 1: kid that was doping. Why he was like lightning. He
Speaker 1: was like, start fast, go really fast in the middle,
Speaker 1: and then finish really fast.
Speaker 2: Where is he now?
Speaker 1: His name's James Magnuson. I don't know. It was just
Speaker 1: I think it was just like a rumor.
Speaker 2: That spreads through the schoolgard I and then we're talking
Speaker 2: the other week about Oscar wanted to be the fastest
Speaker 2: and like the street cred within the school, it gets
Speaker 2: you being number one. I was like, I wonder how
Speaker 2: Mary is going to go? Like she wasn't into it.
Speaker 2: Leading up to the race, she was like why do
Speaker 2: we we spoke about it.
Speaker 1: She's like why do we questioning it? What reason?
Speaker 2: Because you have to, but I need a reason why.
Speaker 2: I was like, because it's fun and the boys are
Speaker 2: just like foaming at the mouth at the start line.
Speaker 2: The boys, She's just let go the lashes and like.
Speaker 1: The great of the school.
Speaker 2: But there was there was there was triumphs.
Speaker 1: There were tears. Not Marley's race.
Speaker 2: There's one boy, one boy, and everyone had finished. He
Speaker 2: had about fifty meters to go. He was coming last,
Speaker 2: and he just stopped and said, I can't do it.
Speaker 1: I can't do it, no glory.
Speaker 2: And then and then he kind of stopped. And then
Speaker 2: because it was hard, It wasn't it. It wasn't a
Speaker 2: big space, and there's a lot of kids moving around,
Speaker 2: and the teachers, you know, it's a kindy classes, so
Speaker 2: they're not super serious about it. But then they kind
Speaker 2: of started the next race and he hadn't finished, and
Speaker 2: then the mom was there going, oh, like Billy, Billy
Speaker 2: hasn't finished the race, and then he just stood there
Speaker 2: and then so she had to then go get Billy,
Speaker 2: and he didn't want to finish because he was so embarrassed.
Speaker 1: I was like, ah, he's definitely gonna have a podcast
Speaker 1: when he's older.
Speaker 2: But Marley was very excited. How did you go good?
Speaker 1: She was like middle of the pack, middle of the pack.
Speaker 1: That's good. You want when like Oscar was the middle
Speaker 1: of the pack too, but he lost a shoe in
Speaker 1: the first I remember. I remember we had at school.
Speaker 1: We had a Stephen Bradbury moment at a regional carnival.
Speaker 1: So the regional carnival was close to us, was sort
Speaker 1: of like in Narrawbeene around the lake, but it gets
Speaker 1: really muddy there, like a spritz of rain and it's
Speaker 1: like a slip and slide dangerous. Anyway, I was in
Speaker 1: the race. I wasn't part of this moment. I was.
Speaker 1: I wasn't that good at cross country. I don't know.
Speaker 1: I tell everyone I was. They were all sort of
Speaker 1: getting close to like the final bend, and the final
Speaker 1: band was really muddy, and they all slipped over and
Speaker 1: then just someone waltzed through. Not me. It did bump
Speaker 1: me up a few positions, but I were all like
Speaker 1: slipped over, real injured. But they were like, yes, oh
Speaker 1: my god.
Speaker 2: Yes, It's like there was something about it can be
Speaker 2: any level, any age, any type of sporting event, and
Speaker 2: I'm locked in.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, I'm putting money on it.
Speaker 2: I was able to race back here for this record.
Speaker 1: What was your time back? I was like, you're in,
Speaker 1: You're like hold the bat, and Marley's like holding the
Speaker 1: bat now, and You're like, I've got it.
Speaker 2: But I wanted to stay. I was like, I want
Speaker 2: to see the big kids. Because from grade one they
Speaker 2: then split it to boys and girls. It's getting serious.
Speaker 1: You get the clip bought out. Yeah.
Speaker 2: I was like, I want to hang around for the
Speaker 2: full show, but obviously I had to be here.
Speaker 1: I'm missing the action right now. We can go back
Speaker 1: after this. I mean they running all day.
Speaker 2: Race will be over, but yet's very it's very nerve wracking. Yes,
Speaker 2: as a parent, when do they have athletics? That's really
Speaker 2: going to be nervous that.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 2: I spoke to my sister about that. And only until
Speaker 2: grade three do they do like long jump up. Until then,
Speaker 2: it's like egg and spoon race.
Speaker 1: Imagine Marlon and I was trying to do a long jump.
Speaker 1: Ah just been like, why are we doing this? I
Speaker 1: was just like, jump, he's so competitive. Oh yeah. I
Speaker 1: do recall primary school being like the faster you run,
Speaker 1: the more chicks you got.
Speaker 2: It's annoying though, how much how much the kids really
Speaker 2: enjoy you being there?
Speaker 1: I missed this one though, because I was here. I
Speaker 1: remember Sorry, No, as April was there, she cried the
Speaker 1: whole time. I was like, why just stop crying, dude,
Speaker 1: it's an emotional morning. I think she was more crying
Speaker 1: for like the third gradest who were crying. He didn't
Speaker 1: want to do it. I don't want to die more
Speaker 1: of a library guy. But I wasn't going to go,
Speaker 1: and I'm glad I did. I'm yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2: As you know, as they run past you and they
Speaker 2: get they look at you in the eyes.
Speaker 1: Just light up. What sort of shoes was she in?
Speaker 2: She had added as those black? No, she just upgraded
Speaker 2: from the nikes to the right. Kids running in like
Speaker 2: full jumpers and tracksuits.
Speaker 1: And I was like, what are you doing? What do
Speaker 1: you mean like the school jumpers and tracks sty coming
Speaker 1: to like aerodynamic marley running in the same thing. Kathy Freeman.
Speaker 2: There was one girl because obviously got the option of
Speaker 2: like the dress or the squat, and she was wearing
Speaker 2: one girl was wearing.
Speaker 1: The dress with stockings and like ballet slippers. Shoes. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I've got this very good. Speaking of shoes, there's a
Speaker 1: new addition to the Wick's household. We were walking past
Speaker 1: we're in Big w and we're walking past a slipper
Speaker 1: rack and it had slippers. April loves a good slipper
Speaker 1: and they had kids boots too. Does she go a gown?
Speaker 1: Is she? She looks like a gown kind of gal. Yeah.
Speaker 1: I told you that story where I've thrown a few
Speaker 1: gowns out because she hangs on to them. At one time,
Speaker 1: and this is when she stopped cooking for me. Is
Speaker 1: she was stirring spaghetti and the sleeve and I was like,
Speaker 1: get rid of it, and then she leant down and
Speaker 1: went to taste it, and I was like, oh, bring
Speaker 1: that mouth over here. Anyway, Yes, there was ugboot rack
Speaker 1: and April was like like eight bucks, perfect kids. Oscar
Speaker 1: got a pair two, which was like a green they
Speaker 1: were a dinosaur. Masie wanted something similar, but they only
Speaker 1: had rainbow one like covered rainbow, which are really really cute.
Speaker 1: But it's been a couple of weeks since we've had
Speaker 1: them and the kids love them. The only complaint from
Speaker 1: Oscar the whole time was oh, my feet are really
Speaker 1: sore in these. And I was like, oh, it's pro
Speaker 1: because they're shit right, They're just cheap shit like shouldn't
Speaker 1: be sor in an ug boot I know, but I
Speaker 1: was like, oh, like trying to explain what you mean. Anyway,
Speaker 1: a couple of weeks went by and he was like
Speaker 1: really complaining about it. I'm like, give it here, bring
Speaker 1: it to your old bait. I mean, but a quick
Speaker 1: look at these ones, get them up on the prop
Speaker 1: them up and I was like, oh, okay, no wonder,
Speaker 1: he's got the papers and the cardboard that keeps them
Speaker 1: in shape still in there.
Speaker 3: I'll do it.
Speaker 1: And I was like, how did you fit your foot
Speaker 1: in there? And he was like, oh, I just crunched
Speaker 1: my toes, you idiot. And then I looked in the
Speaker 1: other shoe and it was the same. So you know
Speaker 1: when you go to try on shoes and the attendant
Speaker 1: goes takes out the pate, the mesh paper stuff and
Speaker 1: the cardboard that keeps it in show. He's walking around
Speaker 1: for weeks like the Chinese boundary feet. I looked down
Speaker 1: he's got carpal tunnel and I'm like, you're five.
Speaker 2: He's like this, do you want to say, like, I
Speaker 2: think these might be too small for me?
Speaker 1: Yeah, Because then he thought I might take him off him,
Speaker 1: so I was like running here. It was like I
Speaker 1: told you, they was all. I'm like, you need to
Speaker 1: be more specific.
Speaker 2: He's probably thinking why are people so obsessed with his
Speaker 2: ug boots?
Speaker 1: They're terrible. They're a terrible shoe. But it was when
Speaker 1: we pulled it out, he was so embarrassed. He was
Speaker 1: like and when he's realized that how dope he is
Speaker 1: about this particular thing. He fucking just took off up
Speaker 1: the hall away like in his room, slam the door.
Speaker 2: Hear him, but he must have been like pretty damn good.
Speaker 1: Now yeah, now he's like, oh, can I do a
Speaker 1: cross cross country?
Speaker 2: Last week, I had a tricky night, ash tricky, tricky,
Speaker 2: tricky night. Lawla's dropped her naps at daycare. I had
Speaker 2: to give them an email. Oh that's right, Yeah, she's
Speaker 2: not napping, beautiful. But apparently the kids because they ramp
Speaker 2: up the learning, the learning ramps up, so they get
Speaker 2: more tired bullshit, And.
Speaker 1: That's his teachers going, you know what, let's fucking just
Speaker 1: put them all asleep. Yeah, let's have it. I had
Speaker 1: a long lunch. They're like, hey, hey, you have some melotonin.
Speaker 2: Well they've said, yeah, we'll keep a close eye on her.
Speaker 2: We make sure she won't have her sleep. She comes
Speaker 2: home and she's exhausted, she's absolutely gassed, just like any
Speaker 2: little thing sets her off.
Speaker 1: She's probably used to the naps down.
Speaker 2: And also because she's been last week, she was missing
Speaker 2: mum as well. But it was like, it was tough, dude,
Speaker 2: It's tough. I was like, you need to you need
Speaker 2: to have one piece of carried on your plate. Just
Speaker 2: eat one vegetable.
Speaker 1: And she was like, you're a terrible dad. I hate you.
Speaker 2: And I was like oh, and then like brushing your teeth.
Speaker 2: I was like, you need to you just need to
Speaker 2: brush your teeth just just a little bit, just a
Speaker 2: little bit, just like get the toothbrush in there. And
Speaker 2: she was like, you, ah, a terrible father. And I
Speaker 2: was like, okay, okay. Carl was copying that. The whole
Speaker 2: bed bath in a routine like start to finish, put
Speaker 2: up a story, and I was like, I did see that.
Speaker 2: This is what I've copped. And just to make myself
Speaker 2: and hopefully you get a little bit better. I I'm
Speaker 2: just going to read you a couple of messages that
Speaker 2: I got some people.
Speaker 1: Ash.
Speaker 2: I now know that kids, once they hit I think
Speaker 2: it's the age of like four, they start to understand
Speaker 2: the dialogue that cuts deep to parents.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah yeah, and like Lola uses it all the time.
Speaker 1: Good thing. I'm was petty, just as petty as them.
Speaker 2: So one person wrote to me Ash, she said, I
Speaker 2: got You're not the best mummy in the world anymore.
Speaker 2: When I let go of her hand after cuddling her
Speaker 2: for after one and a half hours to go to sleep,
Speaker 2: and then from a daddy says, mate, my five year
Speaker 2: old boy just started yelling like a bansheet, saying that
Speaker 2: I don't love him anymore because I say words that
Speaker 2: are bad to him all the time. The bad words
Speaker 2: were it's time for bed.
Speaker 1: Now, you're naughty? Yea.
Speaker 2: They just know the neighbors probably think I'm horrible to him. Okay,
Speaker 2: last one, Yeah, the other day, my four and a
Speaker 2: half year old was eating breakfast with me and his
Speaker 2: one and a half year old brother when he said,
Speaker 2: looked at me in the eyes and mentioned, we just
Speaker 2: like mum more than you. But that's okay, just so
Speaker 2: brutally honest.
Speaker 1: I remember Oscar poking my tummy the other day and goes,
Speaker 1: why is it so squishy? You fuck? And then I
Speaker 1: locked him in the cupboard. It's so hurtful, isn't it?
Speaker 1: Like if they said it early and that they don't
Speaker 1: really understand. But now that you say to them, don't
Speaker 1: say that you hate people. It's really strong word and
Speaker 1: all sort of stuff, and then they whip that back
Speaker 1: at Adie. You're like, I wish I never taught you that.
Speaker 2: I sometimes am tempted to say this, you're a bad daughter.
Speaker 1: Just get as peedy. Well.
Speaker 2: Sometimes Lula will look at me and she's like, you
Speaker 2: got a really big nose, and I'm like, it's not
Speaker 2: nice to mention anything about someone else's personal appearance, and okay,
Speaker 2: one time I did say, you have funny teeth.
Speaker 1: That's not bad, right, Okay, so okay.
Speaker 2: So I was like, of all the insults I'm going
Speaker 2: to go with about appearance, I'll go with teeth.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I said funny, right, yeah, yeah, you could have
Speaker 1: gone making She she.
Speaker 2: Was like what And I was like, I doubled down
Speaker 2: and was like, yeah, you got you got, you got
Speaker 2: funny teeth, balling your eyes out, random mom. And she's
Speaker 2: like you instead, I have funny teeth. And I was like,
Speaker 2: I'm trying to teach her a lesson.
Speaker 1: Here, and it was was like, don't say that to them.
Speaker 2: But I feel like that's the only thing that's going
Speaker 2: to make her understand If I'm like, you're a bad.
Speaker 1: Daughter, how do you feel? That's how I feel when you?
Speaker 1: Oh I hate you too? Yeah I get petty too.
Speaker 1: I respond back, like if Oscar's like something about me.
Speaker 1: I'm like, well, guess what yours gonna look the same.
Speaker 1: It's like it's called genetics. Genius hates it when you
Speaker 1: just laugh in his direction, laugh at me. Yeah, I'm
Speaker 1: trying to teach him laughing with you and laughing at you.
Speaker 1: So the other day he fell over in the mud
Speaker 1: out the front. He was playing with the mate. They
Speaker 1: were mucking around. They were both muddy, and I was like,
Speaker 1: look at money like you are like as like a
Speaker 1: this is fun. You're having fun. If you're mudey, you've
Speaker 1: had fun, right, And he just went red and just
Speaker 1: stormed off, full muddied into the house, into his beder,
Speaker 1: fully muddied, and I was like, guess what, and he
Speaker 1: was like what. I was like, you've got to sleep
Speaker 1: in there now.
Speaker 2: Hey, we have been teasing your mother, who's been so patient,
Speaker 2: so patient, sitting on the cash, not said a word. Yeah,
Speaker 2: quiet as mouse, Let's bring her in. Let's let's have
Speaker 2: a quick chat. Yes, let's bring her in. Can I
Speaker 2: just say yes? We have been trying to get you
Speaker 2: on the podcast for a long long time.
Speaker 3: Things kept happening.
Speaker 1: I've been very resistant, really no talk into the microphone, Okay,
Speaker 1: this is don't yell at your mother like that. Sorry,
Speaker 1: I'm sorry, Grad, You're more nervous than nervous. I'm fucking nervous,
Speaker 1: straight off, Straight off the bat.
Speaker 2: Someone did message in and we have talked about Ash's
Speaker 2: recent ADHD diagnosis. Does that come as a surprise.
Speaker 4: No. No, he was very fulon child, and especially since
Speaker 4: his older sister was extremely easy going, it was very noticeable.
Speaker 1: That's dead.
Speaker 4: But then lots of people used to say to me
Speaker 4: that Beth was the odd one, that Ash was actually
Speaker 4: the more than normal one.
Speaker 1: Thank you, thank you.
Speaker 3: What people used to say to me with Ash?
Speaker 2: When did you realize that, gosh, this could be a
Speaker 2: tricky baby. Tricky is the wrong word. Why did you
Speaker 2: hate Ash?
Speaker 3: Didn't?
Speaker 4: Well, he didn't sleep at night very much, and he
Speaker 4: was very loud, very vocal, even as a baby.
Speaker 3: People used to say to me, what's wrong with them?
Speaker 1: And because he'd just.
Speaker 4: Be lying there, verbalizing, and I'd just say, like, he
Speaker 4: just likes the sound of his own voice. Nothing has changed, Yes,
Speaker 4: but he was extremely loving and very cute during the day.
Speaker 3: At night, he was a little demoned, in fact, so.
Speaker 4: Bad that we actually got letters in the box from
Speaker 4: the neighbors complaining about this child screaming half the night.
Speaker 1: How bad was it?
Speaker 4: Well after about nine months where I occasionally.
Speaker 3: I'd just sleep it, sleep through it all.
Speaker 1: Yeah, did you get immune to it? No, not immune, just.
Speaker 3: Exhausted to pass out. Really, we dealt with it while.
Speaker 4: We took him out of his bedroom and put him
Speaker 4: in the hallway and we blocked.
Speaker 3: The front door, so I, no, I'm going to come
Speaker 3: through the door.
Speaker 1: We did the same thing.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, there no windows in the hallway.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: And the neighbors on the other side were a bit
Speaker 3: more forgiving.
Speaker 1: They were death pretty much.
Speaker 2: And so what another neighbor wrote you a letter. Yeah, also,
Speaker 2: that's a bit passive aggressive.
Speaker 1: Didn't the cops come?
Speaker 4: No, the cops didn't come. I got this note. I
Speaker 4: was a bit taken back. And those neighbors hadn't been
Speaker 4: in there long. And I went over there and it
Speaker 4: was about nine or ten the morning. She offered me
Speaker 4: a glass of wine, So there you go.
Speaker 1: Okay, that's the sort of people. Yes, Yeah, I'm not
Speaker 1: the problem massive, That's what I'm getting from this.
Speaker 4: When you were very loud, though, you were so loud
Speaker 4: that you actually when you actually started speaking and talking.
Speaker 3: You could tell that he'd actually damaged.
Speaker 1: He's always had a very I had this voice when
Speaker 1: I pass the coloring quick sig yes, well.
Speaker 2: And was there a moment where he became obedient? Did
Speaker 2: he grow out of that face? Was he toilet trained?
Speaker 2: Was he someone that liked to bend the rules.
Speaker 4: Pushed the envelope? You couldn't give him an she'd want
Speaker 4: a mile. Here's numerous, numerous examples of that. At one stage,
Speaker 4: we'd had a bit of ado at home and we
Speaker 4: had some leftovers beers, and Wayne's his dad's not a
Speaker 4: really big beer drinker, so we've stuck him in the cupboard,
Speaker 4: the top shelf.
Speaker 3: And then we had we had something.
Speaker 4: Else coming up, and I said, oh, there is that
Speaker 4: bear and then go up there and there's no beer there.
Speaker 3: And he's about thirteen or fourteen.
Speaker 4: And Wayne always he thinks his father wanted to overreact.
Speaker 3: I'm going on, just be chilled.
Speaker 1: It's okay.
Speaker 4: Yeah, so you know I set him down and I
Speaker 4: should have done that. Blah blah blah, you know, blah
Speaker 4: blah blah.
Speaker 2: Anyway, how did he respond when he got caught?
Speaker 1: When he was.
Speaker 4: We weren't we were trying to downplay it and not
Speaker 4: make a huge issue.
Speaker 1: He knew it was wrong, did you? That's the funny
Speaker 1: thing was.
Speaker 4: The funny thing was about two or three days later
Speaker 4: he rang me up at work and goes, I'm going
Speaker 4: down on mates place.
Speaker 3: Can I take a couple of beers?
Speaker 4: You did example of Ashton, You couldn't sort of say
Speaker 4: and really you're doing yourself take him no, because if
Speaker 4: if I knew, I could give him an inch and
Speaker 4: he wouldn't want a mile. Because with Beth you could say, oh, Beth,
Speaker 4: you can do this today, and then she'd never asked
Speaker 4: to do it again.
Speaker 1: Hide and ship. Probably I'm not the only one in
Speaker 1: that house that was like that.
Speaker 2: So saying that, I'd love to get your version of events,
Speaker 2: because I know there was a case when ash was
Speaker 2: a little bit older than you have to pick him
Speaker 2: up from the police station sixteen Queensland.
Speaker 3: He was very lucky he wasn't seventeen because in Queensland
Speaker 3: they wouldn't have boned his parents.
Speaker 1: Yeah, he sent rules up there.
Speaker 4: Yeah, and we're very close to the border obviously, and
Speaker 4: he managed to talk one of his mate's older brother
Speaker 4: into giving him a driver's license.
Speaker 2: His driver that you look similar, yeah kinda.
Speaker 3: Yeah, they retain he's could have been a brother.
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, okay, And.
Speaker 3: So I'm in bed. Was it was during the week too.
Speaker 1: I was in bed for Thursday night, yeah, yeah, Friday,
Speaker 1: and I got.
Speaker 3: This phone call, Oh, this is police patient, We've got
Speaker 3: your son here. What And he goes, can you come
Speaker 3: come up?
Speaker 4: And and I think I actually rang back because I
Speaker 4: thought bloody mates are playing tricks or something, and they, oh, yeah,
Speaker 4: we know, we've got to.
Speaker 1: Do that, they tell you on the phone call. Why.
Speaker 4: I think he tried to get into the casino which
Speaker 4: was across the.
Speaker 3: Road, which is like pick a pub you yeah, yeah,
Speaker 3: you know.
Speaker 4: It's like the most strictly policed thing. There's no way
Speaker 4: they're going to go, oh mate.
Speaker 3: You're joking, go away, go home.
Speaker 4: No, they've got to phone the cops and do the
Speaker 4: all the procedural things to maintain their licensees.
Speaker 2: Why wouldn't you just pick like a crappy little rs L.
Speaker 3: I was dumb, It's very dumb. He had the striped switch.
Speaker 1: It was.
Speaker 3: Half my head.
Speaker 1: What do we have on t shirt? Like a switch
Speaker 1: sweat shirt?
Speaker 4: It was like a child it's something in the screen sixteen.
Speaker 3: Year old boy.
Speaker 1: I look like Oscar.
Speaker 4: It looked like a sixteen year old boy trying to
Speaker 4: get into.
Speaker 2: What did you say to the person When he was
Speaker 2: like this is not your idea?
Speaker 1: I was like, yeah it is. And then he was like,
Speaker 1: what's your middle name? And I got it wrong? The
Speaker 1: birthday wrong too, and then he was like I was like,
Speaker 1: oh fuck. And then the shirt. My mate was like
Speaker 1: run run, and I was like, in the middle of
Speaker 1: the casino, we're going to.
Speaker 4: Run to.
Speaker 1: And then yeah, they came around arrested me in the
Speaker 1: middle of the casino, and who got you? The cops
Speaker 1: or the security. The cops, the casino, the security guary
Speaker 1: kept me there, but the cops station was literally across
Speaker 1: the road. They were there in a halfbeat.
Speaker 4: They were like, this is the easies Jobaday's happening.
Speaker 1: But the thing is it happened so fast that I
Speaker 1: got we got me, and my may got dropped off
Speaker 1: by a girlfriend's right. They were like, oh, I have
Speaker 1: a good night guys, because we're going We're meant to
Speaker 1: go to a bar that's on the outside of the casino.
Speaker 1: But I think Josh was like, oh my mates are in.
Speaker 1: They're just in the casino. We'll just go meet them.
Speaker 1: Were go. I was like, oh, yes, is so confident?
Speaker 1: A bit pissed. I mean, I wasn't drunk. And then yeah,
Speaker 1: I was getting arrested and I look over and both
Speaker 1: of our girlfriends are still in the car park looking
Speaker 1: over at me, going and I'm up against the cop
Speaker 1: car like this. And then yeah, there I am in
Speaker 1: look in the cop shop for the first time.
Speaker 3: And I'm calling get a police.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Different, that's different. That was that was different. Let's
Speaker 1: not talking about that one. And then and then yeah,
Speaker 1: all I remember is mum coming through the front door.
Speaker 4: And they said to me, he's lying to us. I
Speaker 4: just walked into them and I said, you idiots.
Speaker 1: Don't lie to the police.
Speaker 3: I know what are you doing?
Speaker 4: And anyway there, so they took us into the room
Speaker 4: videotis and everything embarrassing moment of my life.
Speaker 1: Yours. I'm living the right.
Speaker 4: And the other thing was that his grandmother, Nanny Olive,
Speaker 4: was there at our place and she loves it drama
Speaker 4: and she's like, oh, that's right, and I said, no,
Speaker 4: it wasn't. It was only like ten or eleven because
Speaker 4: I got off the phone and I said to your father,
Speaker 4: who was still I was in bed because I was
Speaker 4: working there, and he's he was up, and I said,
Speaker 4: you go and get your son.
Speaker 1: Overcome his son. It's a boy thing.
Speaker 3: You go deal with it.
Speaker 4: And he goes, oh, I've had to so, and then
Speaker 4: Olive goes, oh, come.
Speaker 1: And she's the biggest drama cla.
Speaker 3: She would have been in there all the cops, no,
Speaker 3: telling all the stories.
Speaker 1: One of the only people that can tell Nan no.
Speaker 1: And she'll listen.
Speaker 4: I just wait, no, all of you're staying here with
Speaker 4: you your She actually gave me money to go out
Speaker 4: that night.
Speaker 1: That'd be right, NaN's only grandson. So I'm like, I'm
Speaker 1: the top tier. Yeah yeah, yeah. But I remember mum
Speaker 1: walking in. I remember them sitting me down in that
Speaker 1: room where they were filming and recording, and.
Speaker 3: What about when you want to go to the toilet?
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, So I was like, I really need to
Speaker 1: go the toilet. And they were in this mode of like,
Speaker 1: let's scare this kid.
Speaker 3: And it was the only thing going on. It was
Speaker 3: quite nice, had all these police on them.
Speaker 1: There was one other guy in the lock up who
Speaker 1: was mental, and they were like put him in with
Speaker 1: him and they were like, all right, well, we'll see
Speaker 1: you out here, but if you missed Mabe, and they
Speaker 1: kept going in with Clive. Yeah, pretty much. He was
Speaker 1: at the door like and then I was like fuck.
Speaker 1: And then they kept coming up to me with like
Speaker 1: pictures of known criminals and putting them next to my
Speaker 1: head to see if I was just like I was, no,
Speaker 1: I'm not kidding at all on a joke at all,
Speaker 1: and like no, I was just like a bunch of photos.
Speaker 1: And then they were like they had like this woman
Speaker 1: there that was across she was working like across where
Speaker 1: I was sitting, and they've obviously a cop. Sounds fun.
Speaker 1: She was like real intimidating, like hair slicked back and
Speaker 1: she was like don't move. I was like.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: And then I was like I need to go to
Speaker 1: the tour. They're like, yeah, we'll come. And what we're watching?
Speaker 3: I was like what.
Speaker 1: Watch me? And I don't know what's going on. They're like,
Speaker 1: just in case you dropped something down there. I was
Speaker 1: like like what, we don't know, you tell us and
Speaker 1: I was like no, no, no, And I was like
Speaker 1: had to hold on because I was just heared together
Speaker 1: the tall and then walks in and they sit us down.
Speaker 1: They have the video camera on, they have the whole
Speaker 1: interrogation thing going on and asking me questions, and I
Speaker 1: don't think I got a single word out because I
Speaker 1: cried the whole time.
Speaker 4: Yeah, it was the you've used a stolen license across
Speaker 4: the border, so it's a cross border felony.
Speaker 1: Was going to.
Speaker 4: We lived in Tweety, had a new South Wales driver's license.
Speaker 4: We were in Queensland, so we'd gone across the border
Speaker 4: and that makes it that much worse. And even though
Speaker 4: he tried to say it found this license, it's stealing
Speaker 4: by finding.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, it was like you're going to jail, mate.
Speaker 1: I thought I was going to jail.
Speaker 2: They made it to the point and then they were Actually,
Speaker 2: it's probably lucky that happened because it kind of straightened
Speaker 2: you out a little bit.
Speaker 3: Yeah, well, yeah, let's go because put us onto them.
Speaker 1: Quick.
Speaker 2: You must be very proud though, how ashes turned out.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, absolutely. He's a fine young gentleman, and he, as.
Speaker 4: I said during the day, he has always been extremely
Speaker 4: loving about his family and he's very loyal, sing it,
Speaker 4: sing it. Yeah, So you know, I knew it'd be right.
Speaker 4: And he's not dumb, well he's not. He can figure
Speaker 4: things out that he figured that out, and I was like, okay,
Speaker 4: I don't want to go do this again.
Speaker 2: He's the type of person that can turn his hand
Speaker 2: to anything.
Speaker 1: Isaink. I'm feel I'm blushing. I'm blushing. Let's turn that off.
Speaker 1: Let's do you want to ask?
Speaker 3: Well, here's an example of how loving he is.
Speaker 4: Please when when he was twenty or something, he was
Speaker 4: at home still and I went over to New Zealand
Speaker 4: for a while to do some study, and then and
Speaker 4: then he took me to the airport way mess took
Speaker 4: me into the airport and he wept the whole time
Speaker 4: at the airport. And even when his sister went to
Speaker 4: Europe at eighteen, we drove her up to Brisbane and
Speaker 4: he cried all the way home.
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh. He is a very loving man.
Speaker 2: Whenever I talk about crying, he has a go with me,
Speaker 2: and you're you're the town crier.
Speaker 1: I want to hang on. I've got back myself up
Speaker 1: here a little bit. Just put yourself in my shoes
Speaker 1: for a moment. Yeah, firstly, my sister moves away. Secondly,
Speaker 1: my mom moves away. I felt abandoned. Matthew, you have
Speaker 1: to stay here with your dad. And I was like,
Speaker 1: oh god, And I was like, I went the hierarchy
Speaker 1: after they left, went Dad dog Ash And I was like,
Speaker 1: I knew that was going to happen, and I was
Speaker 1: just just I was sad about it. I was sad.
Speaker 2: Do you have any PTSD being a grandmother?
Speaker 1: Now?
Speaker 2: Is Oscar similar to ash was.
Speaker 3: Like a very similar. Oh my god, he's a little
Speaker 3: lesh you know.
Speaker 4: When I see him, he happens to be going to
Speaker 4: the same school that Ashton went to. And to see
Speaker 4: him in his school uniform, it was kind a flashback.
Speaker 1: It was like a very start.
Speaker 3: He's not quite as. He's not quite as. He's not
Speaker 3: as much a people person.
Speaker 4: You were always very every like all my family and
Speaker 4: my brother and I would loved Ashton because he was
Speaker 4: he was sociable, he was up for him, you know,
Speaker 4: and Oscar is a bit more, a bit more, you know,
Speaker 4: a bit more mellow than that.
Speaker 3: He's very similar, very sporty, loves to kick a.
Speaker 1: Ball because a whip.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Yeah, he's like, yeah, I energy cluff, I see so much.
Speaker 1: And now that, yeah, he goes to school at the
Speaker 1: same school. I'm like waking out every time you take him.
Speaker 1: There was the same crossing lady is there and I
Speaker 1: spoke to her the other day and I was like,
Speaker 1: how long are you been here for? And she was
Speaker 1: like thirty something years. I said, do you know the
Speaker 1: last day of school here in two thousand and two.
Speaker 1: I you know, it's an emotional day like you've been
Speaker 1: with his friends for like Earl splitting up to go
Speaker 1: to ther from high schools. In some instances, I was sad,
Speaker 1: but I never let a tear out. That's a lie.
Speaker 1: Until I crossed the rope and I said to him,
Speaker 1: I'm like, you would never you would have a million
Speaker 1: kids you see every day. And I was like you
Speaker 1: You're the last person I saw when I left this school.
Speaker 1: Oh well, I was like, it's yourful, But yeah, you
Speaker 1: are a big soft big softy when I need to be. Yeah,
Speaker 1: for sure, But I like to suppress that, bury it
Speaker 1: right down. But we did get one more question. If
Speaker 1: you don't mind, Matt, we got time, please go. One
Speaker 1: more question that came from a close friend of mine
Speaker 1: that was through the through Instagram. They wanted to understand
Speaker 1: your accounts of my twisted testicle as a teenager. Just
Speaker 1: give us the how it went down.
Speaker 4: We house swat with some old neighbors. We'd moved to Queensland.
Speaker 4: Oh not Queensland, tweeteas and I think not that some
Speaker 4: of it. The following someone we swapped hous of some
Speaker 4: old neighbors. So we moved into their house just before Christmas. Yea,
Speaker 4: and Ash straight away onto the mates, going surfing blah
Speaker 4: blah blah, and off he disappears, and then I get
Speaker 4: I get this phone call from him. But later in
Speaker 4: the day, Oh, I've got a bit of a Tommy
Speaker 4: blah blah blah, And I'm going, have you been eating
Speaker 4: McDonald's guilty?
Speaker 3: And he goes more you.
Speaker 4: I said, well, you know, maybe you just got coming
Speaker 4: out from eating too much for McDonald's too fast blah
Speaker 4: blah blah. And then a couple of hours after that,
Speaker 4: I get another phone call, but this is from the
Speaker 4: boy's mum.
Speaker 3: Oh, there's something really wrong with Ash. He's got this
Speaker 3: really bad pain blah blah blah.
Speaker 4: So I said, okay, so we wayne Dad went and
Speaker 4: got him and then he comes back, and then he
Speaker 4: comes in the house and he leaves Ash and they
Speaker 4: can't really goes there's something wrong with him, a bit
Speaker 4: of take him to the doctor, my dad, doctors don't
Speaker 4: go well, it doesn't feel.
Speaker 1: But he works in yet.
Speaker 4: Anyway, So it's like the day before Christmas, and so
Speaker 4: we go to the local medical center. Wait, wait, wait,
Speaker 4: is any one doctor and blah blah blah. Get in
Speaker 4: there and he goes, I think it could be a
Speaker 4: twisted tescical. You'd better go to the hospital. So then
Speaker 4: we get up to the hospital and.
Speaker 3: They were really good because by the stage he was sweating.
Speaker 1: He was gray. Dude, I'm telling you right now, the
Speaker 1: most painful thing I've ever been through. I was sitting
Speaker 1: in a chair in the waiting room and I was like,
Speaker 1: I was white knuckling that chair so hard I thought
Speaker 1: I was melting the plastic, which.
Speaker 2: Is it was must cruciating as a mother.
Speaker 1: The worst part is when my dad think he not.
Speaker 3: We had people coming around for barbecues.
Speaker 1: When Dad picked me up because he hadn't seen my
Speaker 1: mate's mum in ages and I was in pain. He
Speaker 1: and my dad could talk the leg off a chair.
Speaker 1: He decides to have a full conversation with this person.
Speaker 1: I'm in the car I'm beeping the horn and he's like,
Speaker 1: I stop being rude, like and I was like, it's
Speaker 1: my fucking nuts and he just went use it.
Speaker 2: The nuts ended up fine. You've had now two beautiful children. Yes,
Speaker 2: when you look at the father that ashes turned into
Speaker 2: what makes you most proud, the patience.
Speaker 4: He shows, the hands on because you know, you guys
Speaker 4: are so much more hands on.
Speaker 2: The first for knowledge.
Speaker 4: I mean, we didn't really we just just did what
Speaker 4: our parents do. Well, now you guys think a lot
Speaker 4: more deeper about it, the whole parenting thing.
Speaker 3: And you know, so I really admire that his relationship
Speaker 3: with April is very good, and his in laws it's
Speaker 3: very good.
Speaker 1: I'm getting. All I'm hearing is that un likable.
Speaker 3: And he's always been. He's always been.
Speaker 4: You know, he's not lazy, he's a he's not said
Speaker 4: on us. But I remember thinking of because he left school.
Speaker 4: He took himself off from school, and I said, you
Speaker 4: can't leave school because he was and if he had
Speaker 4: stayed in Sydney's no way he would have left school
Speaker 4: a year ten. But everybody up there leaves at year
Speaker 4: ten because all the dads are trading. Yeah, And I said, well,
Speaker 4: you need.
Speaker 3: To get yourself something. So he did.
Speaker 4: He went out and got himself an apprenticeship, which I
Speaker 4: knew he wouldn't finish.
Speaker 3: I said, he'd be bored stupid.
Speaker 1: I did. I did my time. I just haven't finished
Speaker 1: the education.
Speaker 3: Yeah, but you know I knew he wouldn't sort of
Speaker 3: stay on that level.
Speaker 2: Well, you've raised a great young man and I'm very
Speaker 2: privileged to call him a friend and a co host.
Speaker 2: Now did you ever catch him masturbating?
Speaker 3: Wow?
Speaker 1: No, I did.
Speaker 4: Ask him once though, because after the operation, the doctor
Speaker 4: didn't say to me, oh, you might want to take
Speaker 4: him off to the species to make sure everyth that's working.
Speaker 4: And I remember six months later thinking, you know, do
Speaker 4: I really want to bother with that?
Speaker 3: I just said to her, how's it going down there?
Speaker 2: And way?
Speaker 1: Okay, must be right as clo as she came, hopefully
Speaker 1: fucking all right, let's wrap this up. Yeah, thank you
Speaker 1: so much. All right, it has been enlightening.
Speaker 3: Thank you, thanks for having me pleasure.
Speaker 2: Thank you, mom Ash, you just signed for listener questions.
Speaker 2: We are going to revisit peir Rants next week for sure,
Speaker 2: for sure, do not panic if your bit bangers come
Speaker 2: people are.
Speaker 1: Probably thinking right now, where is the themes on? I
Speaker 1: know they're probably like, I need a headache to quick
Speaker 1: it'll come back next week.
Speaker 2: Fear not so questions, Ash, I've got one for you, Ay, Ash,
Speaker 2: I would like to know. This is a question for myself.
Speaker 2: I've submitted this on social media too, dotting dads on
Speaker 2: Instagram and I set the question and the question reads.
Speaker 1: Well, said.
Speaker 2: Ash, are there any places that you feel should be
Speaker 2: child free?
Speaker 1: My house?
Speaker 2: I did see there was a Reddit thread and someone said,
Speaker 2: I think everywhere should be child free and we should
Speaker 2: just have designated child areas, like where you go for smoke.
Speaker 1: Oh that's genius, like a pub. There's only spots that
Speaker 1: you can have your kid in that part of the
Speaker 1: Do you get fined if your kids like find a
Speaker 1: way not an a leash or something. I start telling
Speaker 1: my kids that. I would say the shops. I think, like,
Speaker 1: I'm not the Okay, let me be specific. Okay, the
Speaker 1: shops themselves in a shopping center. But the shopping center
Speaker 1: bit where there's like the playground and stuff can kids
Speaker 1: in there? But like for example, if it's like there's
Speaker 1: a toy shop, no kids are allowed in there? Is this
Speaker 1: is this for yourself, for them, This is so that
Speaker 1: I have to do with meltdown. Also, if they're not
Speaker 1: allowed in woolies, I'd get ship done so much faster.
Speaker 1: I agree. If it's like, hey, kids, you're not allowed
Speaker 1: to be woolies. Have got like a crash or a
Speaker 1: crash however you want to pronounce it out the front
Speaker 1: A crash and it's just a pen and you just
Speaker 1: heard them in they've got a they've got a blue
Speaker 1: heeler that hurts them.
Speaker 2: In perfect Is this the thing or is this what
Speaker 2: you want it to be?
Speaker 1: This is what I wanted to be. Sorry, yes, I
Speaker 1: was like, wow, what about you? What do you got?
Speaker 2: This is hard because I'm also like hindering myself and
Speaker 2: my people, the other parents. But I reckon, Ash, I reckon.
Speaker 2: Maybe there should just be not as a blanket rule
Speaker 2: that kids should not be allowed on this particular.
Speaker 1: Why do I feel like this is going to be groundbreaking?
Speaker 1: I would like there to be.
Speaker 2: This is long haul flights, particular flights that you can
Speaker 2: book where it's entirely child free genius, so obviously like
Speaker 2: you're not going to there'll be.
Speaker 1: Other flights available. A swingers crews.
Speaker 2: So if I'm traveling with the kids, absolutely there's the
Speaker 2: option to book a child friendly flight. But if I'm
Speaker 2: traveling by myself trying to escape the kids, I just
Speaker 2: think there should be a flight, even if there's like
Speaker 2: you know the big big planes, there's like two stories,
Speaker 2: like put the kids down the bottom of the basement
Speaker 2: and then upstairs can be changes. Yeah, yes, in the
Speaker 2: body of the plane. Next you carry your pets, you like,
Speaker 2: just check them in.
Speaker 1: And you put them in a carrier and see you
Speaker 1: on the other side. Maybe I'm not there to comfort
Speaker 1: you if something happens.
Speaker 2: I just think, like I sympathize with parents. I would
Speaker 2: never have a crack at anyone who's got a screaming child.
Speaker 2: But when you've escaped your kids and you don't have
Speaker 2: to sit next.
Speaker 1: To a kid, that's what we're talking about. Taking a
Speaker 1: trip without the kids this year, just like a couple
Speaker 1: of nights I said to April because she was like,
Speaker 1: what about this place, this place, And I was like,
Speaker 1: there's kids in the photos. I'm not going anywhere near
Speaker 1: a place that has fucking kids.
Speaker 2: Are you going to book an adult only are you?
Speaker 1: Yeah? Fucking oath are you yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. If
Speaker 1: I see a kid, I'm just kind of throw him
Speaker 1: into the ocean, So be like, I do you haven't
Speaker 1: seen my timmy, have you? No? No, he can swim
Speaker 1: right anyway. I totally agree because I know, like when
Speaker 1: I was younger and I was on like if I
Speaker 1: had no kids and getting on a flight and I
Speaker 1: get onto a fight because I would buy a cheap
Speaker 1: ticket and they'd be fucking like ten screaming kids around
Speaker 1: me to drive me crazy. But I was obviously much younger.
Speaker 1: I didn't understand what the parents were going through. Did
Speaker 1: you see just on this really quick that someone went viral?
Speaker 1: Someone made little gift bags for the people sitting around
Speaker 1: them to to say, hey, look, just as a pre
Speaker 1: apology if my child is a bit disturbed during the flight,
Speaker 1: and it had like some little snacky some lollies, little
Speaker 1: like sudoku.
Speaker 2: If a random person is like, hey, you going, there's
Speaker 2: a little gift bag, it's.
Speaker 1: Like give it as the kids. Yeah no, well, I'm
Speaker 1: just like, what do you got in there? A couple
Speaker 1: of pills? It was clear because that's the only way
Speaker 1: I can get it on the plane. They were like,
Speaker 1: you know how they're like in they have to be
Speaker 1: in those ziplocked bags and it's just got on their
Speaker 1: little note saying Hi, my child is X years old.
Speaker 1: I don't know if the child might have been autistic
Speaker 1: or something, and it was just like just just want
Speaker 1: to say thank you for your patience.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you're gonna have a terrible experience on this flight,
Speaker 2: but just to manage your expectations. This is going to happen,
Speaker 2: because like, that's a nice touch.
Speaker 1: There was also that other video where that guy was
Speaker 1: on a tour our flight and that kid would not
Speaker 1: stop annoying him and no one was saying anything to
Speaker 1: the kid. Remember did you say that? So he was
Speaker 1: there headphones on. He must have interacted once with a game.
Speaker 1: You know sometimes if you interact with a kid and
Speaker 1: it's a one off to you, but they think it's
Speaker 1: a game. And he was like knocking the headphones off
Speaker 1: his head and the parent was like and the guy
Speaker 1: was like, this is hell. Hell started filming it because
Speaker 1: it was so bad, twelve hours to bring in these
Speaker 1: child free flo.
Speaker 2: That's why I'm saying child free flights.
Speaker 1: Yeah, because it's like they're in business class now, these
Speaker 1: kids know i'mbelieving Okay, Matthew, it is my turn, and
Speaker 1: I have a question for you. Hit me, and that
Speaker 1: question is, as followers, we turn this down. If you've
Speaker 1: got kids in the car, at what age do you
Speaker 1: think that you start to tell your kid kids that
Speaker 1: certain things aren't real? Just preface this to the parents.
Speaker 2: If I reckon, it has to be done when you
Speaker 2: start coping a lot of heat, right, because we have
Speaker 2: now we've got the question from Ali of like, well,
Speaker 2: how does how do how.
Speaker 1: Does he do it?
Speaker 2: It is there are so many people such a short
Speaker 2: amount of time, how is that possible? And I'm like, well,
Speaker 2: it's magic and they're like, ah, sure, like question answer,
Speaker 2: put it to rest. But once they start like really
Speaker 2: starting to grill you, and they're like strong line of questioning,
Speaker 2: yeah yeah, once, yeah, Once they're digging deeper and like
Speaker 2: the line of you know, an answer with the word
Speaker 2: magic doesn't quench their appetite.
Speaker 1: Yeah, well said.
Speaker 2: Thank you, And they're like but up, but how but
Speaker 2: show me how? And they need facts. Then I think
Speaker 2: there starts to come a time where you got to go, Okay,
Speaker 2: look kid, I fucking lie to you for seven years.
Speaker 1: Yeah. I think when they figure out that you can
Speaker 1: talk into the remote control to YouTube. That's when you
Speaker 1: need to tell them before someone else does.
Speaker 2: How did you find out Santa wasn't really look.
Speaker 1: Well, we didn't have Christmas in my house. Remember if
Speaker 1: you recall from two years ago that I broke the
Speaker 1: news to that story and it was on the Daily
Speaker 1: Mail or something calls from New York. We're going to
Speaker 1: make a movie about you. In my house, we had
Speaker 1: no Christmas. We didn't really do Easter in my house.
Speaker 1: Halloween was like if a kid came to the door,
Speaker 1: Mum over here, literally, she'd be like, damn. So I
Speaker 1: don't really recall, but I know that the neighbors around us,
Speaker 1: and we were really friends with they did. So I
Speaker 1: wasn't allowed to say anything, even as a kid, because
Speaker 1: it was like you were that kid.
Speaker 2: He was on the corner of the street being like, listen,
Speaker 2: hear Timmy.
Speaker 1: They'll learn one day.
Speaker 5: But I was thinking about this question, and I was thinking,
Speaker 5: if you've got if your child has a younger sibling, yes,
Speaker 5: that's so yeah, me too, you know, And it's like,
Speaker 5: do I wait until the youngest is old enough to
Speaker 5: tell them both, or do I try and confine in Oscar,
Speaker 5: who's a blabber mouth of the highest guard that you
Speaker 5: you can't tell because he would just hold.
Speaker 1: It over and be like, do you really think Santa
Speaker 1: is real? Because I know the.
Speaker 2: True That's what my older brother did. I was grade
Speaker 2: I was grade one, and he was like.
Speaker 1: Fucking idiot and I was I was like, what do
Speaker 1: you mean.
Speaker 2: He's like, there is no Santa Claus put a cigarette. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 2: it's on me and I was like, I was like oh,
Speaker 2: and I remember being like, you you're wrong, he is real? Right,
Speaker 2: it goes and I think I ran to mum and
Speaker 2: I was in tears, being like.
Speaker 1: Is tell me, Please tell me it doesn't sow.
Speaker 2: And I think she did keep the facade going for
Speaker 2: a little bit longer than Eventually, after multiple cigarette burns
Speaker 2: by my brother, I was like, it's it's a sad.
Speaker 1: Time, and it's a sad time. That is going to
Speaker 1: be a.
Speaker 2: Sad moment when the tooth fairy Easter Bunny.
Speaker 1: I think it's going to be more sad for April
Speaker 1: and the kids. I don't really care that much because
Speaker 1: that's just a reflection of my childhood. We can thank
Speaker 1: my mum for that. But yeah, look I'm daunting there.
Speaker 1: I'm just daunting though, how I'm going to explain it,
Speaker 1: because realistically, if you want to get to the needy ingredient,
Speaker 1: we're encouraging a stranger to enter your house in the
Speaker 1: middle of the night. Very confusing, and in some instances
Speaker 1: they take a tooth, that's theft, you know, they do
Speaker 1: replace it with money in some instances. But like, are
Speaker 1: we seriously going to sit here and encourage a bearded
Speaker 1: old man breaking into a baking and entering into he'd
Speaker 1: get locked up for life.
Speaker 2: And not only does he I guess he gives you stuff,
Speaker 2: but you've got to like reward him. You've got to
Speaker 2: like you've got to leave, you got to feed him,
Speaker 2: You've got to give him drink, You've got.
Speaker 1: There's got to be some sort of crime about breaking
Speaker 1: into someone and actually giving them something. These kids, we'll
Speaker 1: get to the bottom of this Santa Claus thing. Ash.
Speaker 2: Yes, that is our episode, done and dusted.
Speaker 1: Yes it is another day, another week, another episode, another journey.
Speaker 2: And if you have enjoyed this journey so far along
Speaker 2: with us, and you haven't subscribed, let me just tell
Speaker 2: you how bitterly disappointed I am in your behavior shocking.
Speaker 1: Hop on now we might not come back next week.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it might never happen, or actually, wait, we will
Speaker 2: be back next week and make sure you subscribe so
Speaker 2: it's in your inbox.
Speaker 1: Trick and also what else would they do? Ask socials
Speaker 1: Two Doting Dads Instagram, TikTok, Facebook, or if you want
Speaker 1: to email us hello at Two Doting Dads dot com,
Speaker 1: why not send us something John inappropriate? Please don't send
Speaker 1: us a bit naked picture of Santa. Do it? Do it?
Speaker 1: Coomebye see you. I've definitely got your arm at the
Speaker 1: moment because it's like it's trying to have sex with me.
Speaker 1: Fucking back off. He's trying to get me to give
Speaker 1: a fillatio. You're letting nudge and cock in you.
Speaker 2: Two Doting Dads podcast acknowledges the traditional custodians of country
Speaker 2: throughout Australia and the connections to land, see and community.
Speaker 1: We pay our respects to their elders past and present
Speaker 1: and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torrestright Islander
Speaker 1: peoples today