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Speaker 1: The Will and Woody podcast.

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Speaker 2: Did you see someone new that you shouldn't have love

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Speaker 2: to take your calls?

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Speaker 1: Threw up teacher before.

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Speaker 2: I don't need to have an erection, by the way,

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Speaker 2: which is what that sounded him is implying.

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Speaker 1: Probably won't treat that call.

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Speaker 2: No, actually probably can't.

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Speaker 1: And there's none of that here. But you threw up

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Speaker 1: teacher before, and.

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Speaker 2: Well yeah, but yeah and again when you finish school. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: when you finish school or you know, maybe you sort

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Speaker 2: of the distance and there was no sort of we'll

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Speaker 2: give you a relationship on foot.

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Speaker 1: I'll give you a example. There's no relationship here outside

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Speaker 1: of friendship or just like normal teacher student relations But

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Speaker 1: I was on the footage trip in Darwin and there

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Speaker 1: happened to be an ice Barker and the head coach

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Speaker 1: was giving us a big pep talk, right, so like

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Speaker 1: pumping up to played this big school in Darwin. Anyway,

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Speaker 1: one of the assistant coaches, who was also my maths teacher,

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Speaker 1: fully nude and then got in an Iceley really in

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Speaker 1: front of all He's in the background and the whole

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Speaker 1: time just like girl listened to a bit George when

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Speaker 1: I'm watching my mass teacher have a nude icebar.

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Speaker 2: In a wheelie bin was one of those.

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Speaker 1: And then he gets out of the ice bar and you're.

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Speaker 2: Like, what's a lot going on there?

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Speaker 1: The low guy on there he lost that.

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Speaker 2: I'm sure balls on the brain breeze is GOL six

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Speaker 2: five the footinge not on the brain. Breeze, breeze, breeze, breeze.

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Speaker 2: Probably you shouldn't have seen nude.

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Speaker 3: My dad's roommate.

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Speaker 2: Oh a roommate, Yeah, I reckon. That's probably the first

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Speaker 2: little thing to unpack there. Who's his roomy?

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Speaker 3: His boss?

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Speaker 1: Your parents are divorced? Is that I separated?

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Speaker 3: Yeah?

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Speaker 1: Parents separated, So your dad's bunked up with his boss.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, let's get a roof over his head. Sounds like

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Speaker 2: his boss is a good bloke.

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Speaker 1: So he live with his wife, like he has he

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Speaker 1: moved into.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, they're both single together.

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Speaker 2: The boys got a pad. I kind of like, I

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Speaker 2: actually kind of love that. I don't reckon a lot

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Speaker 2: of guys would live together past a certain age, and

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Speaker 2: those guys have wound the clock back.

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Speaker 1: That place would suck. So you're so breeze you your

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Speaker 1: dad's boss effectively?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, well I.

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Speaker 3: Was sitting on the lounge and I was waiting for

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Speaker 3: my dad to finish his cigarette on his balcony.

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Speaker 4: So well, so out.

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Speaker 3: He's boss didn't know obviously I was there and he

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Speaker 3: was in the shower and he's walked out, no cowl,

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Speaker 3: everything's out. And he stands there and he's like, hey, breeze,

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Speaker 3: and I was like hi, and he's like oh, and

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Speaker 3: he ran to his room.

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Speaker 2: Well, your dad's having a dart in the balcony. Way, wow, way,

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Speaker 2: I hope you weren't. Young Pipper is called I'm thirteen

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Speaker 2: one and sixty five. Hello, Pipper.

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Speaker 4: Hi, I don't I don't know the people. But I was.

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Speaker 3: At like a water theme park one time, had my

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Speaker 3: goggles on it in the wavepool and saw two strangers

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Speaker 3: having sex in the wavepool.

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Speaker 1: In the waves amongst the waves.

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Speaker 2: Borderline impressive You the wave wave? Which wavepool?

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Speaker 5: We do?

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Speaker 2: Not a surfing wave pool like the the You mean

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Speaker 2: like a water, like a wet.

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Speaker 3: Wall, one that you bring like your floats int you Yeah.

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Speaker 6: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: Would you be hidden by the waves though? Was there

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Speaker 1: a bit of anonymity within the waves.

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Speaker 4: No, well, I only saw it when I was under

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Speaker 4: the water.

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Speaker 2: I think it's quite brazen ha ha. Were they using

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Speaker 2: any sort of like floaties or oh?

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Speaker 3: Yeah, it was quite tough, like a struttle situation.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, situations. I saw it because I speaking of it.

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Speaker 2: By the way, thirty one or six five, ye've seen

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Speaker 2: someone new that you shouldn't have.

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Speaker 4: I did.

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Speaker 2: I got lured into my neighbor's house when she was

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Speaker 2: completely nerd. When I got in there, you were in

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Speaker 2: the car with me shopping situation.

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Speaker 1: You ran out wide as a ghost. I've never seen

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Speaker 1: you look.

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Speaker 2: Looking after the dog. Yeah, yeah, yeah, And she told

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Speaker 2: me to come over when she said doors open. She

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Speaker 2: said doors open, so I walked in there.

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Speaker 1: I think she was trying to seduce the older man

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Speaker 1: next door. I'm like, am I that guy? I think? Yeah,

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Speaker 1: it was a bit of a reverse Missus Robinson situation

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Speaker 1: going on. I think you reckon. Yeah, potentially it was

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Speaker 1: pretty wild. Yeah yeah, but you were just you got

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Speaker 1: very scared.

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Speaker 2: I ran you got very scared. Yeah, I felt awful.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, it's got a Christie here. Did you ever talk

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Speaker 1: to her again?

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Speaker 4: Yes?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, how they go?

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Speaker 2: Well, it got a bit weird because SEM thought that

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Speaker 2: she was luring me, whereas I was like, no, you know,

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Speaker 2: all's fair in love war and naked next door Christie's killed.

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Speaker 2: There's a good bit. Write that down, buick Christie. We're

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Speaker 2: talking about people you shouldn't have seen nerd.

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Speaker 4: Who just yeah, Hey, guys, So I was setting a

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Speaker 4: guy a few years back, and I'd say to his house.

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Speaker 4: He was living with his grandparents. I got up during

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Speaker 4: the night to use the bathroom and walked in on

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Speaker 4: his grandpa taking a poop naked in the bathroom.

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Speaker 1: Fantastic, naked in the bath and I think nude pooin's

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Speaker 1: a bit weirder. Do you think he did his pajamas

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Speaker 1: next to the toilet? Did he rope to take a brok?

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Speaker 4: Didn't stick around to take note of any clothes in

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Speaker 4: the bathroom.

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Speaker 2: My partner sim accidentally butt dialed daycare the other day

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Speaker 2: and totally fine, but the left a voicemail, and the

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Speaker 2: voicemail was just her screaming at our toddler, which happens

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Speaker 2: judgment but probably not a good look.

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Speaker 1: But the daycare not the person.

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Speaker 2: That you want to butt yeah, which made me think

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Speaker 2: that like that, that is the most I think spicy

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Speaker 2: situation in the first world, which is very much you

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Speaker 2: call someone you don't know you've called someone, they hear

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Speaker 2: something totally cooked.

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Speaker 1: It's it's terrific.

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Speaker 2: And then the moment when you realize that you have

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Speaker 2: butt diled them, calling them back and being like, I'm

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Speaker 2: not sure if you got that? Pretty sure? It all

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Speaker 2: went to voicemail insert comedy.

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Speaker 1: And as a Mexican standoff there as to whether they

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Speaker 1: reveal what they hurt or not.

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Speaker 2: Well, yeah, that's right. Do you you know if you

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Speaker 2: are on the receiving end of the voicemail you weren't

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Speaker 2: meant to receive, do you call the person back and say, hey,

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Speaker 2: you buttdled me. I heard everything, you know, whatever that

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Speaker 2: might be.

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Speaker 1: And that's what we want to test right now, Will

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Speaker 1: on the one and only Pete Hellier. Yeah, great guy conversally,

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Speaker 1: one of the great.

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Speaker 2: It has to be it to we have to do

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Speaker 2: this against a good guy, because a bad person just

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Speaker 2: absorbs this and goes, bang, thanks very much, I'm gonna

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Speaker 2: gaslight you and five yours.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, well we might find out that, yeah, he's a person.

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Speaker 2: This is a great character study as well, isn't it.

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Speaker 2: We called Pete earlier, yes, and we we decided that

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Speaker 2: the juicy bit that we'd be talking about, was that

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Speaker 2: I sem and I were pregnant again, which, as you'll hear,

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Speaker 2: I then also dialed up to Yeah, I'd slept with

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Speaker 2: someone else and got them pregnant.

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Speaker 1: Your performer. I thought it was believable, and then all

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Speaker 1: of a sudden, you're talking about an a fair that

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Speaker 1: you're having, like read the script.

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Speaker 2: So we called Pete earlier, and we very much tried

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Speaker 2: to make it sound like a butt dial. So we

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Speaker 2: put the phone on the desk here and you and

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Speaker 2: I were trying to have a very casual conversation. Now

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Speaker 2: we haven't heard this audio yet, but because the team

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Speaker 2: wants to keep us here, keep it from us. But

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Speaker 2: apparently Pete has answered the call and he's heard the

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Speaker 2: whole thing, and apparently he's commentated in the background.

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Speaker 1: So, so have you thought about when you're gonna tell

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Speaker 1: the team? No, I actually haven't.

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Speaker 2: What am I going to say, Hey, we're pregnant.

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Speaker 1: Because there's no easy way to do it.

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Speaker 2: I really want to give it really private, So I'm

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Speaker 2: thinking about maybe I'm telling you a couple of people,

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Speaker 2: But I think once you tell a few people in

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Speaker 2: the team.

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Speaker 7: That's that's a good point.

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Speaker 1: It's probably has she feeling.

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Speaker 2: She's good, she's good, but yeah, she obviously wants to

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Speaker 2: keep rap and wraps under it as well. It's so

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Speaker 2: awkward listen to this conversation.

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Speaker 7: Oh my god, you.

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Speaker 1: Haven't told Sam that you're telling the team.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, no, I haven't told Sam that this girl

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Speaker 2: is pregnant.

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Speaker 7: Oh my god.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, that's the information I'm hearing.

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Speaker 2: This is amazing. Definitely do, but it's just because it's

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Speaker 2: going to be a lot about buzzing around what do.

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Speaker 1: You mean in my personal life?

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Speaker 2: Like you're going to.

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Speaker 1: Alright, I'm gonna get a water before you Okay, good water.

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Speaker 7: With Joe whitelaw.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, okay, okay. So that is the first time I've

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Speaker 1: read that. Based on that, I'm not one hald percent

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Speaker 1: sure if he's bought it, mind you, mind you.

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Speaker 2: We'll see. We've did the conversation, got out what we

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Speaker 2: need to do, and I was like water, He couldn't,

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Speaker 2: He couldn't have.

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Speaker 8: Been more were usually like all our chats water Anyway,

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Speaker 8: that that was hours ago, though, I just feel like

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Speaker 8: there's potentially enough time for him to stew on that, yeah,

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Speaker 8: to maybe start thinking that like, oh shit, maybe actually

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Speaker 8: what I did here was genuine right, so well he hasn't.

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Speaker 2: I think that the great thing in on our side

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Speaker 2: at the moment is that we've had no comms from him.

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Speaker 5: No.

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Speaker 1: I tried to call him again before the show. Didn't

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Speaker 1: get through to him though, And I actually think I've

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Speaker 1: left a very very good voice Ye leave a message

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Speaker 1: good mate? Hey going? Did I did I call you before?

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Speaker 1: I was going to go and call min And it's

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Speaker 1: had there that i'd called you, And I can't remember

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Speaker 1: calling you anyway, probably just a bum dar, but just

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Speaker 1: thought i'd follow up, mate, look at home and away.

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Speaker 1: That was just a classic ALVA. Nothing's happening here, call

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Speaker 1: you before anyway. Let's try and call in again up

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Speaker 1: next and just see if we've got a fish on

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Speaker 1: the line.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, half a chance. It just joining us. We're

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Speaker 2: trying to convince Pete Helle that we accidentally dialed him.

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Speaker 2: So about two hours ago we called him. We put

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Speaker 2: the phone on the desk here and then we spoke

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Speaker 2: about the fact that I had got someone the pregnant

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Speaker 2: in like very harsh serious times and not your partner,

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Speaker 2: not my partner, super super scandals.

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Speaker 1: I think I think we may have reached a little

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Speaker 1: bit too far by bringing up that one. We probably

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Speaker 1: should have out a little bit more on the way.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, it would easy.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, but yeah, if you just missed it. Yes, so

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Speaker 1: we did that, but dial he's ever heard the whole

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Speaker 1: thing is the first time we heard his because we

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Speaker 1: hadn't heard his reaction to it.

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Speaker 2: Yes, but he he did actually answer the phone call,

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Speaker 2: and he was very funny.

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Speaker 1: Uh joke.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, he clearly didn't buy it. I haven't heard fro

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Speaker 2: him in two.

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Speaker 1: Or three hours, though, I think that's enough time. I agree,

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Speaker 1: sitting in it and hang on a second, maybe that

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Speaker 1: is genuine. What do I do with this saucy information.

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Speaker 2: I agree with you, the longer we wait, the less

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Speaker 2: we hear from him, Like, surely at this stage he's

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Speaker 2: writing a message to you, going haha, because imagine if

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Speaker 2: he is real exactly, if he's actually heard that, and

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Speaker 2: he's in the background and going, oh, jokes, jokes, jokes,

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Speaker 2: and now the blood has drained from his face, and

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Speaker 2: I think it is a perfect time to call him

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Speaker 2: and Peter, hell, yeah, on your face, it was all

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Speaker 2: a joke.

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Speaker 1: So I think I need to be like, hey, mate, Sorr,

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Speaker 1: I think I called you before, and let's just see

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Speaker 1: if he brings it up. Love it? I reckon, all right,

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Speaker 1: I love him, let's get him. How are you going good?

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Speaker 7: Are good?

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Speaker 6: Very good?

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Speaker 4: Before?

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Speaker 1: I just wanted to call you back, So I think

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Speaker 1: I accidentally called you earlier.

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Speaker 7: I know you gotta be really careful because you obviously

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Speaker 7: accidentally called me and I overheard it quite a private conversation.

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Speaker 5: So I.

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Speaker 7: Passed. I passed on when I learned and when I

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Speaker 7: heard the Daily Mirror and.

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Speaker 1: Mine in the mail, is there is there any part

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Speaker 1: of you? Pete? That was like, maybe I'm over here

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Speaker 1: in a real conversation.

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Speaker 6: The call, And I said what He didn't really answer,

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Speaker 6: you're talking? And I thought this is a setup. Then

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Speaker 6: there was one kindy bit where.

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Speaker 7: I thought because I was kind of laughing along and

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Speaker 7: like commentating the conversation as you know, as I was

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Speaker 7: hearing it, And then I thought, what if it was true?

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Speaker 7: But no, and then I thought should I play along?

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Speaker 7: I know you guys, you guys are genuine, We're real,

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Speaker 7: you the genuine stuff where real?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, that's it, that's it. So so did you think

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Speaker 1: it was in Will's character too? Even though he has

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Speaker 1: a child with someone else impregnate someone else? Did you did?

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Speaker 1: Was that the reason that you were like, maybe maybe

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Speaker 1: this is beloved?

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Speaker 7: Actually I almost believe that, to be honest.

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Speaker 2: That was the moment where you spun the other way

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Speaker 2: for a second.

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Speaker 6: I was a hang on, this could be actually true.

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Speaker 1: It does seem like will.

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Speaker 7: I'm trying to join the dots here.

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Speaker 2: We actually we actually uh we didn't hear your commentary

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Speaker 2: because we tried to make it as real as we

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Speaker 2: POSSI were good. So we did the conversation without hearing

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Speaker 2: your audio, which was like we should, which would like

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Speaker 2: simulate a butt dial, and then we we just heard

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Speaker 2: your audio back. It was so good, the bit where

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Speaker 2: you were like, that's a good point, that's a buddy good,

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Speaker 2: that's a body good point.

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Speaker 7: At one point I wasn't sure if it was the

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Speaker 7: point of it was hand along. Does your friend keep listening?

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Speaker 4: Yeah?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah yeah yeah.

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Speaker 1: And you did hang on for a while, and now

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Speaker 1: you're trying to cut with his arm at the airport.

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Speaker 2: I'm a busy guy. I'm a busy guy.

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Speaker 7: I wasn't sure if you're going to come back to

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Speaker 7: me and say, hey, I'll hang on. Oh God, who's there, Pete.

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Speaker 4: That happened?

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Speaker 2: So yeah, Jesus excuses.

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Speaker 1: People, But good luck.

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Speaker 7: Will you said you got pick.

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Speaker 2: Hands fall, come a hands full. We're all busy man

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Speaker 2: at the moment. Seals will end Woody present a little

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Speaker 2: strongly ouzzy strong boat made right here in Australia for

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Speaker 2: eighteen plus drink responsibly. Yes, what's the return of our

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Speaker 2: Tallest Tales competition? If you get to the final at

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Speaker 2: the Adelaide Fringe, will fly you down there. We'll do

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Speaker 2: your OCM to one of the best comedy festivals in

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Speaker 2: the country and that's probably a prize in and of itself.

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Speaker 2: But then you'll be on the stage up against the

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Speaker 2: other finalists and the best story wins ten thousand dollars

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Speaker 2: on the night.

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Speaker 1: Absolutely so again, got to be in it to win it.

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Speaker 1: So get to Willinwoody dot com to register, tell us

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Speaker 1: your great story and as you said, Will, if you're

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Speaker 1: in the top four stories, you could win ten thousand bucks.

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Speaker 1: Now just to moisten the lips, I'm not sure if

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Speaker 1: that's the right terminology with the whistle. What the whistle

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Speaker 1: is what I was going for here is one of

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Speaker 1: the stories from.

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Speaker 5: My first ever job as an eighteen year old was

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Speaker 5: a delivery driver for a Chinese restaurant. Some of you,

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Speaker 5: who are a bit observant may think I don't fit

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Speaker 5: the stereotypical expectation of what a Chinese delivery driver would

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Speaker 5: look like. So the running joke became, no one ever

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Speaker 5: expected me to be the Chinese delivery driver. So one

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Speaker 5: day I had to make a delivery to a hospital.

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Speaker 5: When I get to ward e, I see two big doors,

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Speaker 5: give them this food, and I go to walk out

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Speaker 5: the same exit, the same big double doors. Nothing happens.

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Speaker 5: I see a nurse's walking by, excuse me, how do

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Speaker 5: I get out of here? And she so politely turns

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Speaker 5: to me, puts her hand on my shoulder and says, oh, sweetie,

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Speaker 5: you don't it is at this point the penny has dropped.

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Speaker 5: I am in a mental wards. In my panic, I

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Speaker 5: try to convince her, no, no, wait, you don't understand.

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Speaker 5: I'm the Chinese delivery driver.