Speaker 1: Question for you, Shoot, do you have any gray hair pubes?
Speaker 2: I haven't inspected that closely, but not noticeably. We'll get
Speaker 2: my wife down here and ask me. You're going gray.
Speaker 1: You go on, Clooney, I've got gray hairs on my
Speaker 1: ball sack.
Speaker 2: Oh my god. I know you could honestly start calling
Speaker 2: him Clooney now and be like, hey, babe, Colooney's here.
Speaker 1: Welcome back to Two Dirty Dads, Episode three.
Speaker 2: Yeah, episode three, Well, time's flying.
Speaker 1: If anyone doesn't know, my name is Mattie Ja. This
Speaker 1: is a conversation all about parenting, good, bad, relatable. If
Speaker 1: you're coming for advice, I have to always say turn
Speaker 1: back now, yeah, stop right now. We may be two
Speaker 1: doting dads, but we don't know what the fuck we're doing.
Speaker 2: We're just doing our best, and that's all that mattered.
Speaker 1: You look good, though, you've got like a little spring
Speaker 1: in your step to happy.
Speaker 2: A couple of days, no beers feeling good. Actually it's
Speaker 2: been a bit of a rough couple of days.
Speaker 1: Well happen.
Speaker 2: I had a pregnancy scare. Now, I know what you're thinking,
Speaker 2: What does that matter? First of all, when I say
Speaker 2: pregnancy is head, I am petrified of having a third child.
Speaker 2: But I've also had a vasectomy.
Speaker 1: What percentage do they tell you, like, this is going
Speaker 1: to be nine to nine point nine or what.
Speaker 2: I honestly didn't watch the video they give you, and
Speaker 2: I didn't watch the video that started it. I didn't
Speaker 2: have a spression. But the thing is okay. So when
Speaker 2: you go get a vasectomy, they say, okay, so in
Speaker 2: three months or twenty wanks time round about that time,
Speaker 2: or if the three months goes over.
Speaker 1: Or in like a week if you're ash, or if.
Speaker 2: The three months goes over your birthday and it's nineteen wanks,
Speaker 2: then you go get tested to see if your stare up.
Speaker 2: And like me and a lot of other men, we
Speaker 2: didn't go back and get tested to see if I'm
Speaker 2: actually stare up.
Speaker 1: Because it's non critical, right, You're like, if you've done
Speaker 1: your job, we're fine.
Speaker 2: Well, I have a lot of faith in that doctor.
Speaker 2: So anyway, April comes to me a couple of days
Speaker 2: ago and she says I'm late, and I was like,
Speaker 2: I just sat awake on an operating table or someone
Speaker 2: snipped away at my testicles, and now you're telling me
Speaker 2: I'm going to have a third mouth to feed we're
Speaker 2: freaking out. I'm in the supermarket buying pregnancy test, running
Speaker 2: into really close friends holding your pregnancy test, like hiding
Speaker 2: it in the supermarket, going fuck, because it's like, I don't.
Speaker 1: Know, it's always the way when you're buying eggs and milk,
Speaker 1: you're seeing no one. When you're buying like hemorrhoid cream
Speaker 1: and pregnancy tests, you bump into your old school teacher.
Speaker 2: What she grab it? Yea condo? You don't well I
Speaker 2: thought I did anyway.
Speaker 1: Because yeah, obviously you wouldn't even have a pregnancy test anyway.
Speaker 2: When did you get the snip last year? We're talking
Speaker 2: six seven months ago, So.
Speaker 1: When you're diving to the siftmarket or the pharmacy, what's
Speaker 1: going through your mind?
Speaker 2: I was thinking about just not stopping, continue red on
Speaker 2: straight through, see what happens. But yeah, look she comes
Speaker 2: to three or four days late, and I'm like, you
Speaker 2: have got to be kidding me.
Speaker 1: Wow.
Speaker 2: Anyway, So finally, finally as you got a period, and
Speaker 2: we're like, thank god, but we have that you know,
Speaker 2: you have that conversation where you like, what are we
Speaker 2: going to do? And we might have said, let's not
Speaker 2: have that conversation until.
Speaker 1: It's because it could be like it's a miracle child
Speaker 1: could be a miracle.
Speaker 2: Or but anyway, I probably should book in and go
Speaker 2: and get tested whether I'm sterile or not knowing my semen.
Speaker 2: They've figured it out down there.
Speaker 1: And tried to re rooted, they re routed.
Speaker 2: There's a little one down there with the detours this
Speaker 2: way fellas, this way to the end of the cock.
Speaker 1: So it's a hard no.
Speaker 2: No for three.
Speaker 1: Yeah, for me, always going to be two.
Speaker 2: That was it. One was always going to be the case.
Speaker 2: Then once you had one, like not doing it again,
Speaker 2: but no, then we were like, we'll have two, and thankfully.
Speaker 1: We had to still on the fence a little bit.
Speaker 2: Well according to who weekly.
Speaker 1: Having a third kid, Yeah, I don't know. I don't
Speaker 1: know where we're at with the third.
Speaker 2: Got to have sex first, I suppose.
Speaker 1: Well, actually, little hang on, little adventure last night. You know,
Speaker 1: I woke up this morning and the sun was shining brightly,
Speaker 1: the birds were chirping beautifully, the flowers smelled beautiful. Skipping
Speaker 1: to my car my neighborhood I don't really talk to
Speaker 1: I was.
Speaker 2: Like, Hi, Glenn, he got someone had sex beautiful. That's
Speaker 2: up well that that's worth it. I'm going to call
Speaker 2: her after and see how it was.
Speaker 1: Oh, look it was.
Speaker 2: It wasn't with Laura.
Speaker 1: It hasn't been that long. Like Laura and I were like,
Speaker 1: we're pretty good have sex, you know, regularly. She's been
Speaker 1: really really busy, absolutely flat out, and then when we're
Speaker 1: gonna have sex, she had a period, little roadblock, Yeah,
Speaker 1: waiting patiently, and then Tuesday is a great day because
Speaker 1: you know, Laura doesn't work too late. No, there's nothing
Speaker 1: ever on on a Tuesday, really, and so that morning
Speaker 1: when we left for work, Laura was like pre empted, Well,
Speaker 1: ours is always preempted. Yeah, preempted, yeah, which sometimes sometimes
Speaker 1: I don't like sometimes I want it to be this
Speaker 1: like Sponge, You're just.
Speaker 2: So desperately like, okay, turn for fifteen, we're gonna do it.
Speaker 2: Then that's another thing too, with this pregnancy scare, because
Speaker 2: I was like, how did this happen? And she was like, oh,
Speaker 2: I tracked it back, and it just so happened that
Speaker 2: I was ovulating that day. I'm like, oh my fucking god,
Speaker 2: I'm gonna have a third kid.
Speaker 1: This is gonna be really stupid. Ovulating happens before the
Speaker 1: period I must do. I feel like I should.
Speaker 2: Know that we are two men who have no idea.
Speaker 2: Clearly we work that out.
Speaker 1: We were lucky in that we never looked at the calendar.
Speaker 1: Just one of those annoying couples where first or second time.
Speaker 2: Yeah, And it's like, I hate talking about this because
Speaker 2: there's people out there that are really struggling.
Speaker 1: Like IVF. That is hard, hard work. We were very,
Speaker 1: very fortunate. Also got some some bloody strong swimmers. Surprisingly, yeah,
Speaker 1: after what I surprised, what I put myself through in
Speaker 1: my twenties, I think it just made them stronger, more resilient.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 1: So we had this planned sexertem in the morning and
Speaker 1: Laura was like, yeah, like later on you and me,
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, move And I was like, oh, I can't wait.
Speaker 1: In the morning. You have really good intentions. You know,
Speaker 1: you've got the whole day ahead.
Speaker 2: Of you walking around with the direction all day.
Speaker 1: I was like, I was waving goodbye to her with
Speaker 1: a massive stiffy horn.
Speaker 2: When are you coming back?
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'll be right here. And then by the afternoon
Speaker 1: and you pick up the kids from daycare like five o'clock.
Speaker 1: You then got to do dinner and that's it just
Speaker 1: sucks out any energy that you have.
Speaker 2: Buzz kill moments. Ah yeah, buzz killington right.
Speaker 1: My children cock block the hell out of me.
Speaker 2: I love it.
Speaker 1: At the moment kind of fluctuates between if they like mom,
Speaker 1: they like dad. At the moment, I feel like they
Speaker 1: hate me.
Speaker 2: Everything you ask.
Speaker 1: Of, every mouthful. They don't want to sit at their
Speaker 1: little kid's table, they want to sit at the you know,
Speaker 1: just everything every step of the way is met with
Speaker 1: like fierce resistance, even ash to the point where we
Speaker 1: don't have a bath at home. It's got a shower,
Speaker 1: and you know, you give them like five minute warnings,
Speaker 1: one minute warning we're getting out of the shower. Like
Speaker 1: they don't want to go in the shower. When they're
Speaker 1: in the shower, they don't want to get out of
Speaker 1: the shower. And I was like, Lola, she's two. I
Speaker 1: was like, it's time to get out, and.
Speaker 2: She's wasting water.
Speaker 1: Yeah, let's wrap up this show. We're going to get
Speaker 1: ready for bed. And she looks at me. Dude, that's
Speaker 1: what I did.
Speaker 2: Oh no, I was like, that was a joke. You
Speaker 2: just hit the reality of that.
Speaker 1: Well, she's looking at me and she's like fuck you, Dad,
Speaker 1: And I'm like, Lola, come on, I'm being as pleasant
Speaker 1: as I can, and I'm like, do you know what,
Speaker 1: I'm just going to slowly put it a little bit colder.
Speaker 1: I was on fullball cold and.
Speaker 2: She's still and she's just sitting there ice man copping it,
Speaker 2: staring at me like whim hof. This is actually good
Speaker 2: for me. I'm going to be here for two more
Speaker 2: minutes and let my body adjust to this.
Speaker 1: I was like, what is wrong with my children? I'm like,
Speaker 1: this isn't normal.
Speaker 2: Nice queen.
Speaker 1: And then eventually I'm like, turn the water off, get
Speaker 1: it in bed, and then we had dinner. It's now
Speaker 1: once you send a couple of emails, check.
Speaker 2: Your phone, it's midnight. I got I got a text
Speaker 2: message when you are like eleven pm, so it must
Speaker 2: have been after that.
Speaker 1: You kind of get to that point where I'm looking
Speaker 1: at Laura and she's like, oh, should we go to bed?
Speaker 1: And then we're both kind of like we've missed the window.
Speaker 1: The sex window is like nine o'clock.
Speaker 2: Maybe I see what you do with the windows usually
Speaker 2: duct tape them up.
Speaker 1: Up in in bed and we're like should we Yeah, Okay,
Speaker 1: it's like, yeah, I get it, I can get it done.
Speaker 2: You're already laying on the work bend. She might as
Speaker 2: well just get some work done.
Speaker 1: And guess who decides to come in?
Speaker 2: Which one?
Speaker 1: MALEI. She's curious and we were like in the midst,
Speaker 1: in the midst, we heard her coming. We're like, oh,
Speaker 1: come go back, go back to her coming.
Speaker 2: That's good.
Speaker 1: If you can't hear him coming, it would have been freaking.
Speaker 2: I just had the worst flashback of my life.
Speaker 1: Can you share?
Speaker 2: I can share. I was like, I don't know, like
Speaker 2: twelve thirteen, walked into my mum giving my dad a hand. Mom,
Speaker 2: I'm so sorry.
Speaker 1: In the bedroom, where was it? Yeah, did they say anything.
Speaker 2: It's never been spoken about till right now. They've never like,
Speaker 2: never been mentioned. And now my mom's going to find out.
Speaker 1: Did you just open the door shut it straight away?
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, yeah yeah, yeah yeah yeah, yeah yeah yeah.
Speaker 2: I couldn't get out of there quick.
Speaker 1: What was the form?
Speaker 2: Like great changed hands without missing? Oh my god, I
Speaker 2: hope myself so much right now.
Speaker 1: I feel like we're just uncovering some deep dark words
Speaker 1: about parenting.
Speaker 2: Not my parents parenting, our parenting.
Speaker 1: Anyway it happens to us, all happens to us. All okay, anyway,
Speaker 1: got the job done.
Speaker 2: For comforting me, We're going to get through this.
Speaker 1: Don't worry. All right, We'll got the job done. And
Speaker 1: I don't know if it's the same.
Speaker 2: Did you shush it back to bed or just be
Speaker 2: like check a blanket over and get on with it.
Speaker 1: At the time, I was thinking to myself, this is like,
Speaker 1: show's over.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's not gonna yeah, it's not going to be
Speaker 2: any follow up after that.
Speaker 1: I'm not going to have this crescendo moment. And then
Speaker 1: I was like, do you want to get back to bed?
Speaker 1: And she was like, yeah, okay, We're back to bed.
Speaker 1: I was like, and then about thirty seconds later, I
Speaker 1: was done.
Speaker 2: Thirty second it was about.
Speaker 1: A good forty five here for a good time, not
Speaker 1: a long time. I was like, well, Laura, good night.
Speaker 2: She's like, you've already roll over.
Speaker 1: Sorry, sorry about that. But today I've waken up and
Speaker 1: I'm just like, I'm s so good. I bumped into
Speaker 1: a family at daycare and the drop off, you know,
Speaker 1: someone you just want to like get the kids out
Speaker 1: there and head down. I was chatting to everyone, tell it, yeah.
Speaker 2: Very good. I'm impressed and I'm proud. Mathew. Have you
Speaker 2: ever heard about Annabelle.
Speaker 1: Carmen's Annabelle Carmen's what person?
Speaker 2: No, it's a frozen child's meal. So I've got something
Speaker 2: to admit to you that I'm not proud of. No
Speaker 2: one else knows this. I'm the sole person who knows this.
Speaker 2: My wife doesn't even know this. I know she's gonna
Speaker 2: find out.
Speaker 1: Do you think she's listening.
Speaker 2: It's not like something have Fuck, it's more it's embarrassing
Speaker 2: for me. Okay, So anyway, Annibal Carmens is a frozen
Speaker 2: kid's meal. You think this sounds harmless? Yes, absolutely harmless?
Speaker 1: Lit a like microwave job. Yeah, yeah, lovely.
Speaker 2: So last week we had quite a big boozy week,
Speaker 2: mainly me. You were bury on your best behavior. Me
Speaker 2: not so much.
Speaker 1: You had a few beers, had.
Speaker 2: A few beers, and I've stumbled home peckish.
Speaker 1: Because roughly what times this is like thirty of the morning,
Speaker 1: very hungry, ravenous, two thirty.
Speaker 2: In the morning, knowing full well I'm gonna have to
Speaker 2: be up at five thirty, but I'm starving. I walk
Speaker 2: in that door. It's a long way home from wherever
Speaker 2: we were, and I've stumbled in and I've.
Speaker 1: Thought, oh, what's in the fridge, what's.
Speaker 2: In the fridge. But before getting to the fridge, in
Speaker 2: the corner of my eye, I've seen an Annibal Carmen's
Speaker 2: box in the recycling and I've thought, on, my kids
Speaker 2: had Annibel Carmen's for dinner, but I know they wouldn't
Speaker 2: have finished it.
Speaker 1: I know where you're going.
Speaker 2: So I buried my head into the bin, scooped out
Speaker 2: the remainder of a Annabel Carmen's, reheated it and ate it.
Speaker 1: You are fucking disgusting. Shame on you, Ashton Wicks.
Speaker 2: Do you want to know what flavor was?
Speaker 1: Please?
Speaker 2: But a chicken?
Speaker 1: Did your second guess yourself? Or was it straight in?
Speaker 2: Didn't even think about it. I was like it was
Speaker 2: like I was hunting for food and just took it
Speaker 2: down like a lion would take down to gell or
Speaker 2: zebra when.
Speaker 1: You're sitting there on the couch.
Speaker 2: I ate it at the bench. Look, I'm not proud
Speaker 2: of it. That's why I haven't told anybody. And you
Speaker 2: know I woke up with a lot of anxiety.
Speaker 1: Anyway, Did it even hit the side Okay, Daddy was full.
Speaker 2: Daddy was. It was a nice little tree to get
Speaker 2: me through the but it just led me to think, like,
Speaker 2: what are some people desperate leftover moments? And like that
Speaker 2: is like the bot, Like do you know I haven't
Speaker 2: had a drink since.
Speaker 1: Because before we started recording with that at the cafe
Speaker 1: and you're invited for a couple of beers on Friday,
Speaker 1: which you said.
Speaker 2: If I'm not drinking?
Speaker 1: Is this all because of the fact that it's a
Speaker 1: part of it? You're eating out of the bin?
Speaker 2: I essentially ate out of the bin.
Speaker 1: Yeah, do you know what I think? Personally? Play on
Speaker 1: I like, you don't want to waste food?
Speaker 2: Play on six again.
Speaker 1: The thing about buttered chicken is that it's a really
Speaker 1: pungent dish. So you like, did you hop into bed,
Speaker 1: did April at any point go you kind of smell
Speaker 1: a bit like buttered chicken?
Speaker 2: A rinse off? Whatsoever of me stenching? Like anyway, it
Speaker 2: was a moment of weakness. I regret it, but I
Speaker 2: feel so much better telling you that.
Speaker 1: Do you think this non drinking phase will be like
Speaker 1: a week, two weeks?
Speaker 2: It'll be like two weeks, But it's like a two
Speaker 2: weeks clance to forget because it was like, look, just
Speaker 2: picture a fully grown man with no T shirt on,
Speaker 2: scooping some buttered chicken out in half cup, eating his
Speaker 2: back up, and eating it with his hands in the
Speaker 2: kitchen fan.
Speaker 1: You didn't even use fucking cutorio opened the gullet.
Speaker 2: I didn't have time for that.
Speaker 1: Ship. Oh dude, Sometimes you got to hit rock bottom
Speaker 1: to then work your way back up.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah, it was delicious. If anyone's gonna ask follow
Speaker 2: up questions, don't because I say it was delicious and nutritious.
Speaker 1: I'm trying to think of a story where I've done
Speaker 1: something similar, except like for me, it's normally just the
Speaker 1: cold toast that's still sitting there from breakfast at around
Speaker 1: lunchtime level left.
Speaker 2: I was just saying that this morning I had some
Speaker 2: peanut buttered toast left over from Macy. I was like, yump,
Speaker 2: that's mine.
Speaker 1: My kids don't really eat, and so when you're feeding.
Speaker 2: That way, I knew there was going to be some left.
Speaker 2: That's why I went hunting for it. I thought. I
Speaker 2: was like Sherlock Holmes, I'm like, hang on a second,
Speaker 2: let me put a couple of things together here. There's
Speaker 2: definitely gonna be some butter chicken in the bin. And
Speaker 2: I was right, and I ate it.
Speaker 1: Fuck, dude, look at yourself, look at who you've become.
Speaker 1: And April, this is the man you've married, This is
Speaker 1: of your dream, this is the father of your children,
Speaker 1: the current father of So next week when we record again,
Speaker 1: we'll be in like a really dodgy one bedroom hotel
Speaker 1: because Ash has been kicked out of home.
Speaker 2: Ouing animal essentially like a bird getting something out of
Speaker 2: the bean. I am a bin chicken.
Speaker 1: Hash. It's time for a couple of questions. Last week
Speaker 1: we did our first our inaugural Q and A.
Speaker 2: Yeah, one of my.
Speaker 1: Favorite questions that there's been a lot of chit chat
Speaker 1: on socials about this. It was a placenta encapsulation.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, yes, and I actually this the different ways
Speaker 2: to cook you.
Speaker 1: Yeah, the smoked fried steamed. I didn't think it was
Speaker 1: widely done. I thought it was like.
Speaker 2: I thought someone just threw it at us to be
Speaker 2: like this will real fuck them up.
Speaker 1: But people have come out of the woodworks and they're
Speaker 1: advocating for I've had so many people put on stories
Speaker 1: on our Instagram. Has anyone done this expecting maybe like one.
Speaker 2: One of my neighbors came to me and she said,
Speaker 2: we did this, but they didn't take them. So the
Speaker 2: husband threw them out eventually because they have taken up
Speaker 2: room and they could to keep the freezer.
Speaker 1: Yeah, people say they keep them the freezer.
Speaker 2: Yeah, this whole new world that we've just been opened
Speaker 2: up to.
Speaker 1: I had no idea, and also a couple of people
Speaker 1: were like, hey you because I was kind of thinking
Speaker 1: that's crazy talk, like who the hell is going to
Speaker 1: eat the percenter? I thought people may come at us
Speaker 1: and be like, how dare you attack the placenta eat
Speaker 1: it's out.
Speaker 2: The front of our house, protesting about it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but they'd be really great.
Speaker 2: They've actually they've been more informative, haven't they.
Speaker 1: Very forthcoming with information. I think overwhelmingly the mums have
Speaker 1: said that it helped, and they've also kind of said, like,
Speaker 1: I don't know if it was placebo, but like my
Speaker 1: recovery was quicker. I felt better, and I was like,
Speaker 1: hang on a second, how does it work? Like how
Speaker 1: much does it cost? How much do you think it costs?
Speaker 2: Ten thousand dollars?
Speaker 1: It's actually a lot more cost effective. It's very reasonable.
Speaker 1: It's not in the realms of.
Speaker 2: Unford one tablet or for like that, for a course.
Speaker 1: Of to process the entire placenta.
Speaker 2: I can't give me nudication on how many tablets you
Speaker 2: get out of one placenta. Yeah, yeah, okay, and i'll
Speaker 2: break it down cost from that point. Yeah.
Speaker 1: So I'm on the kids iPad a photo of a
Speaker 1: shit on it. Yeah, just do oneh you sent me
Speaker 1: this morning, but the same shit, oh that was last night.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I can't proud of it.
Speaker 1: So from one placenta, this lady has said that you
Speaker 1: get about three months worth of caps of placenter caps,
Speaker 1: and so it looks like roughly about ninety.
Speaker 2: Okay, let's go ninety caps. Let's go ten dollars a cap.
Speaker 2: Nine hundred dollars.
Speaker 1: Ain't way better than that. So between fifty four to
Speaker 1: five hundred is what you're paying.
Speaker 2: Yeah, five dollars a cap. That's great value.
Speaker 1: Except the weird thing is because I thought it's a
Speaker 1: bit of a unique object. It's an organ, right, and
Speaker 1: it's pretty full on. It's like, how do you get
Speaker 1: it to the person? How does that process? Yeah? Yeah,
Speaker 1: what are you sending? Just just they weigh it it's
Speaker 1: kind of Queensland. You have to get it to them
Speaker 1: really really quickly. So as soon as yeah, birth is over,
Speaker 1: you got to put it on ice And one mom
Speaker 1: was saying that they brought in like a like a
Speaker 1: Peter's ice cream tub. Oh that was cleaned down.
Speaker 2: She get really excited before they opened and his ice cream.
Speaker 1: To Napoleana the dad after childbirth. The dad had to
Speaker 1: get them to put it in a tub lid on
Speaker 1: and he then had to walk out to the car
Speaker 1: park like doing a drug deal, like handover oh my god,
Speaker 1: the placenta. Yeah, so they.
Speaker 2: Couldn't come and collect it. There has to be like
Speaker 2: a mutual meeting spot.
Speaker 1: Yeah, car park sounds super dogic.
Speaker 2: Like all done on that signal app so that the
Speaker 2: message disappeared.
Speaker 1: I was never here, but a lot of people did
Speaker 1: say that it tasted pretty bad, like the burping afterwards
Speaker 1: after burp was no good. But like some people were
Speaker 1: saying that they would take it and then because they
Speaker 1: were going, I feel amazing, the husbands would take it
Speaker 1: as well.
Speaker 2: Not for mate, look like we went over this last week.
Speaker 2: If someone wants to do it, go for your laugh.
Speaker 2: But it's not something I would do.
Speaker 1: I did get a really good message though, from one
Speaker 1: lady who didn't get placenta caps made you.
Speaker 2: Got placenta heroin mate.
Speaker 1: Just booting up. So this lady who was super lovely,
Speaker 1: spoke to her on social media and she was saying
Speaker 1: for a first child, and she's a really lovely midwife.
Speaker 1: And the midwife was saying, oh, I'd like to take
Speaker 1: your placenta and I'd like to make something with it
Speaker 1: a keepsake. And the lady was like a child.
Speaker 2: Not keep taking up you've got You've got that thing now.
Speaker 2: Like it's like saying, I want to give you something
Speaker 2: to remember that, and you push that child out. It's
Speaker 2: like the child is the memory of that.
Speaker 1: Is it? And she didn't want to because this midwife
Speaker 1: was a bit older, super experienced, delivered hundreds of babies
Speaker 1: and just yeah, just like goes into her basement and
Speaker 1: pulls out these percenters. I think that maybe her friends
Speaker 1: hadn't had kids. So you know, when you're one of
Speaker 1: the first in your group of friends to have kids,
Speaker 1: kind of flying blind, you don't know what's normal or weird.
Speaker 1: You're just like it's all brand new territory. Childbirth. The
Speaker 1: midwife took the placenta, and then she said, I'll be
Speaker 1: in touch in a couple of weeks with this keepsake.
Speaker 1: So then she reaches out, calls and says it's ready.
Speaker 2: What is ready?
Speaker 1: And she's like, what is this?
Speaker 2: Lady? Way too scared to pick that up?
Speaker 1: Do you want to see what she made?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 1: Okay, yeah, she sent me photos, She.
Speaker 2: Sent you photos of this. Am I going to be disgusted?
Speaker 1: So this midwife, I'm not.
Speaker 2: Rip it off the band aid.
Speaker 1: Who am I to judge? This is a lovely gesture
Speaker 1: and it would be rude of me to laugh.
Speaker 2: I'm scared.
Speaker 1: It's a dream catcher?
Speaker 2: What the fuck is that? That looks like something one
Speaker 2: of my kids to bring home from the KINDI.
Speaker 1: It's not even like a nice circle.
Speaker 2: Which is the placenta bit obviously not the feathers.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's it almost looks like the umbilical cord. But
Speaker 1: there she will drop it in in the video afterwards.
Speaker 2: Oh my god. I love how she's included the anal beads.
Speaker 2: It's lovely.
Speaker 1: And I said to her, I was like, so like,
Speaker 1: what did you do with it? Obviously you would have
Speaker 1: you would have accepted it and said thanks very much.
Speaker 1: And then I'm going to put this in the bit.
Speaker 2: Awkward of that being like do you love it Christmas?
Speaker 2: You don't like, You're like, oh socks, You're like, oh,
Speaker 2: perfect dream catcher.
Speaker 1: It's still they're hanging in a kid's bedroom. Still there.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, imagine that.
Speaker 1: I thought, like the smell in the bedroom.
Speaker 2: There you go, that's okay, I'm just gonna put that's
Speaker 2: fucking disgusting.
Speaker 1: No, Ash, shame on you, Shame on you to be
Speaker 1: so close minded. Okay, a dream catcher.
Speaker 2: It's not the placenta. It's the whole DreamCatcher thing. I
Speaker 2: don't believe.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it is fine, it's fine.
Speaker 2: Hanging up it looks like skin from a sausage. Yeah,
Speaker 2: why was I expecting like a bagpipe looking thing.
Speaker 1: It's quite tasteful. I think the craftsmanship is actually quite impressive.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm worried what else she can do with the
Speaker 2: human body?
Speaker 1: Why waste it? Why waste it?
Speaker 2: Anyway?
Speaker 1: Ash, last week we did three We're going to trim
Speaker 1: it down to two questions.
Speaker 2: There was too many for the listeners.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it was exhausting. Question number one, Ash, Yes, do
Speaker 1: you ever have dad guilt, Dad guilt.
Speaker 2: So like, in context of dad guilt, my brain automatically
Speaker 2: goes to whether I've been sitting on the toilet too long,
Speaker 2: And I can hear the kids going absolutely mental and
Speaker 2: my wife's like trying to herd them in, and I'm like,
Speaker 2: do I feel guilty about this? So that's what comes
Speaker 2: to mind?
Speaker 1: What about afterwards when especially I've yelled at them? Yeah,
Speaker 1: actually disciplining.
Speaker 2: Okay, Never if my kids are listening, I never feel guilty.
Speaker 1: Do you do a little bit though? Right?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 1: Look, if I feel like your heartless animal, if.
Speaker 2: I unfairly had yelled or unfairly thrown something in the
Speaker 2: bin and then reflected on it and thought that was
Speaker 2: diveraish of me?
Speaker 1: Is this something you throw on the bin that you
Speaker 1: then go eat afterwards?
Speaker 2: No non food, non food related. If there's voogun in
Speaker 2: the bin, arms straighten after it.
Speaker 1: So has Oscar? For example? Has Oscar ever gone to
Speaker 1: you and said, like, Daddy, can we like?
Speaker 2: So?
Speaker 1: Marley likes to draw, that's her jam. She loves it.
Speaker 1: Sometimes I'm good. Other times I'm two minutes in and
Speaker 1: I'm like.
Speaker 2: This is boring?
Speaker 1: Yeah, Like, does Oscar have any games? That he loves
Speaker 1: to play any wants, like Daddy can't play with me,
Speaker 1: and you like the.
Speaker 2: Hot Wheels car the tracks, I've actually hidden them so
Speaker 2: that he can forget, because look, I don't mind playing
Speaker 2: with the hot Wheels with him. But then it's like
Speaker 2: whatever I make is never good enough, so I've got
Speaker 2: to remake it so often to the point where I've
Speaker 2: been like, no, fuck. But yeah, after I feel bad,
Speaker 2: it's like he doesn't know. He just wants to have fun.
Speaker 2: So yeah, look, I'll say, yes, I do feel dad girl.
Speaker 1: Because I think I feel guilt. Normally, it happens when
Speaker 1: the kids are in bed, and it's at the end
Speaker 1: of the day when you know, you kind of look
Speaker 1: into their bedroom. The doors ajar a little bit. I
Speaker 1: see Marley sleeping there so peacefully, and it's at that
Speaker 1: moment when you also you get a little second window
Speaker 1: of energy and you think, I wish, I wish I
Speaker 1: just gave a little bit more, And I never have that.
Speaker 2: Really, I'm like, I gave everything I have today. I
Speaker 2: put in that everything, that time is gone, that time
Speaker 2: is mine. I always say, like, when everyone's asleep in
Speaker 2: the house, that's the time for me to just sit
Speaker 2: on the couch or go to bed. A lot of
Speaker 2: the time I found myself going to bed, and I
Speaker 2: have time for guilt. Like I said, if I've yelled
Speaker 2: them unnecessarily or whatever, then yeah, but I feel like
Speaker 2: in the moment, I've put as much as I can into.
Speaker 1: The day, making me feel a lot more.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, be better. You're not putting enough, but it happens.
Speaker 1: It happens.
Speaker 2: I think different types of guilt we both have, which
Speaker 2: is okay because we're not perfect.
Speaker 1: When you're about to discipline, do you ever have I've
Speaker 1: read a few things where I've seen a few videos
Speaker 1: where it's like, when you're about to react to something
Speaker 1: a situation, stop, take a breath, and then reconsider how
Speaker 1: you're going to respond. Do you have any or you're
Speaker 1: just off the cuff knee jake reaction.
Speaker 2: I've tried to stop. Breathe, gentle parent, bigg as a
Speaker 2: waste to fucking die.
Speaker 1: It doesn't I mean, if you can do it.
Speaker 2: Going from nor to a hundreds the only way to
Speaker 2: get anything done in this house.
Speaker 1: They don't fucking listen. Sorry, they don't listen. I'm getting angry.
Speaker 2: Let's go, let's move to the next question.
Speaker 1: We'll put disciplining on pause because I could go on.
Speaker 2: All right, So, Matthew, question number two, do you have
Speaker 2: a favorite child of yours?
Speaker 1: Yeah? Can I say that? No? No, hang on a second, No,
Speaker 1: I gotta I'm going to Okay, I will say this.
Speaker 1: You know when people say during childbirth, the moment you
Speaker 1: make eye contact with your garbage your child. Okay, I
Speaker 1: will say like, the first time I held Marley, it
Speaker 1: was that cliche like, holy shit, hit me like a
Speaker 1: ton of bricks, and I'm like a couple of tears
Speaker 1: and I was like, yeah, I'm opening up here. Sorry,
Speaker 1: I'm opening I fucking cuddled you and comforted you when
Speaker 1: you told me about eating stuff out of the bin,
Speaker 1: and I'm like, I cried to want to help my
Speaker 1: daughter and you're that.
Speaker 2: With you. I'm just being a jerk off about it.
Speaker 2: Go yeah, you're lucky.
Speaker 1: I like you.
Speaker 2: I'm so lucky.
Speaker 1: So it was that cliche moment, and you know, we
Speaker 1: had a really instant bond. I find it takes a
Speaker 1: little bit longer for baby number two. And also because
Speaker 1: when youah baby number one, you know.
Speaker 2: They're all that your attention is just.
Speaker 1: Just you know, down and the two of you are
Speaker 1: just you know, every kind of noise, every movement, You're like,
Speaker 1: oh my god, Yeah, this is incredible, this is amazing.
Speaker 1: And then when we had the second we had Lola
Speaker 1: got a name for a second what's her name?
Speaker 2: The favorites Marley.
Speaker 1: Well, it just like it took a little bit longer
Speaker 1: to have that bond because when Laura was at home
Speaker 1: with Lola when she was a newborn, to give her
Speaker 1: some reprieve and to make it easier, I would take
Speaker 1: Marley out of the house and we would go and
Speaker 1: do activities. Also, because Marley was so young, she was
Speaker 1: like eighteen months. Marley and Lala are so close together
Speaker 1: that it was tough for Marley because she was like, Mum,
Speaker 1: play with me. She couldn't cuts she had a newborn,
Speaker 1: and so Marley would get frustrated. So then in that
Speaker 1: period and maybe the first six months, me and Marley
Speaker 1: bonded like nothing else. And Lola's come around yeah Lola,
Speaker 1: and I like, yeah, well yeah, when she's not cock
Speaker 1: blocking me. Yeah, But it depends because sometimes kids are
Speaker 1: really easy and sometimes kids are really hard. Absolutely, and
Speaker 1: on the days when one is being easy, that's the
Speaker 1: one I want to hang it here.
Speaker 2: Yeah, exactly what I was gonna say. I was going
Speaker 2: to be like, look, these kids have a favorite, and
Speaker 2: it's not me, very obvious, all right, it's always mummy, mummy, mummy, mummy, mummy. Right. Fine,
Speaker 2: I'm allowed to have a favorite if I want. You're
Speaker 2: gonna pin them against each other.
Speaker 1: I'm seeing you with the kids. I think they do
Speaker 1: like you.
Speaker 2: They do, they can't. I think they're warming up to me.
Speaker 2: We don't know each other that well. But yeah, look,
Speaker 2: you definitely I don't want to sit here and say
Speaker 2: your favorites. I do have one. I prefer.
Speaker 1: Go on.
Speaker 2: No, obviously, Macy's like the second one, and she's a girl,
Speaker 2: She's stated a little girl, right. But at the same time, like,
Speaker 2: I won't sit here and say that I like one
Speaker 2: of them more than the other. I hate them both equally.
Speaker 2: I love them both equally equally, is not just the other.
Speaker 2: So yeah, but like what you were saying on the day,
Speaker 2: you definitely have your favorite, and yeah, get the kid
Speaker 2: away from me moment.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. Sometimes some even it's most mornings
Speaker 1: to be fair, when Lola wakes up and you can
Speaker 1: hear her yelling she wants someone to get her, and
Speaker 1: I'll put my head in and I'll go, hey, baba, hey,
Speaker 1: good morning, you're awake. And she looks at me and
Speaker 1: she's like, not you, yeah, And I'm like, she wants you.
Speaker 2: It's heartbreaking sometimes, isn't that. But also like she wants mum,
Speaker 2: so that's mum's problem.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Also like it's kind of I would take her.
Speaker 2: I would help you out of that bed, but I
Speaker 2: don't know. You're start idiot, use your brain.
Speaker 1: I will say any other questions that you want, They're
Speaker 1: not going to be answered, seriously, Oh absolutely not. Don't
Speaker 1: take what we're saying as any formal advice. Go see
Speaker 1: a professional, read the books.
Speaker 2: Love your kids equally or equally exactly.
Speaker 1: But if you do have any questions, you can submit
Speaker 1: them either ashes social media, my social media or two
Speaker 1: dotting Dads. And if you haven't followed us, I'm.
Speaker 2: Just a cheeky pH.
Speaker 1: I've really been waiting for stop playing hard to get
Speaker 1: and also fucking good reviews, which has been great.
Speaker 2: My favorite one was just one star and then.
Speaker 1: I was like, obviously that's an next girlfriend. But if
Speaker 1: you haven't subscribed, with you, because if you starts. We
Speaker 1: would love that more than.
Speaker 2: Anything, absolutely, and again thank you for joining us.
Speaker 1: That's it, that's us there yeah two. Doting Dad's podcast
Speaker 1: acknowledges the traditional custodians of country throughout Australia and the
Speaker 1: connections to land, sea and community. We pay our respects
Speaker 1: to the elders past and present and extend that respect
Speaker 1: to all Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples today. This
Speaker 1: episode was recorded on Gaddagal Land