1 00:00:02,279 --> 00:00:05,360 Speaker 1: Welcome to mind from his Fridays with Chad. It's actually 2 00:00:05,400 --> 00:00:08,480 Speaker 1: a Friday when we're recording all these episodes, so it 3 00:00:08,520 --> 00:00:12,600 Speaker 1: feels very true to form. This is actually the last 4 00:00:12,760 --> 00:00:17,520 Speaker 1: part of our six part Mindfulness series and it's been 5 00:00:17,560 --> 00:00:19,400 Speaker 1: such an honor to have jad here, and thank you. 6 00:00:19,520 --> 00:00:22,720 Speaker 1: He has given us so much of his time and 7 00:00:23,400 --> 00:00:26,880 Speaker 1: so much of his heart, so much of looking at 8 00:00:26,920 --> 00:00:31,159 Speaker 1: him and speaking the wrong like from the wrong like 9 00:00:31,200 --> 00:00:32,720 Speaker 1: I should be saying so much of your heart, but 10 00:00:32,720 --> 00:00:34,839 Speaker 1: I'm saying he so so much of your heart, so 11 00:00:34,920 --> 00:00:39,240 Speaker 1: much of your mind, so much of not just your intellect, 12 00:00:39,280 --> 00:00:43,960 Speaker 1: but also your emotion and your creativity too. I feel 13 00:00:44,000 --> 00:00:45,640 Speaker 1: like you're sharing so much that with us, So thank 14 00:00:45,640 --> 00:00:48,879 Speaker 1: you so much. Just for people listening, jad Is, if 15 00:00:48,880 --> 00:00:54,320 Speaker 1: you're based in Melbourne, he's available for consults and also 16 00:00:54,480 --> 00:00:57,480 Speaker 1: you do certain times you run eight week eight. 17 00:00:57,360 --> 00:01:00,240 Speaker 2: Week mind from Its courses us to do talk boks 18 00:01:00,240 --> 00:01:01,080 Speaker 2: and stuff as well. 19 00:01:01,360 --> 00:01:04,120 Speaker 3: So I love the way he says that I also do 20 00:01:04,240 --> 00:01:05,520 Speaker 3: talks and stuff as well. 21 00:01:05,640 --> 00:01:08,120 Speaker 1: I'm like, come on, mate, own, it's so good. He's 22 00:01:08,200 --> 00:01:12,440 Speaker 1: actually in this space. You're the only person that I 23 00:01:12,520 --> 00:01:16,600 Speaker 1: know that really like really delves into this space and 24 00:01:16,720 --> 00:01:20,880 Speaker 1: just like goes for it. So yeah, I think anybody 25 00:01:20,920 --> 00:01:23,400 Speaker 1: that works with you as a is lucky. 26 00:01:23,959 --> 00:01:25,840 Speaker 3: And I'm lucky because I'm your friends. So I kind 27 00:01:25,840 --> 00:01:26,280 Speaker 3: of get this. 28 00:01:26,640 --> 00:01:28,520 Speaker 1: I'll go and visit him and be like, so, let's 29 00:01:28,560 --> 00:01:30,440 Speaker 1: just chat about this topic for the next twenty five 30 00:01:30,480 --> 00:01:33,800 Speaker 1: minutes and I'll pretend I'm buying tea from you, so 31 00:01:33,880 --> 00:01:36,040 Speaker 1: cheeky of me. And we both used to work at 32 00:01:36,040 --> 00:01:38,440 Speaker 1: the same health foods. So that's why shout out to 33 00:01:38,440 --> 00:01:41,440 Speaker 1: brand health foods if people want to know more about you. 34 00:01:41,520 --> 00:01:44,920 Speaker 3: Jad Patrick Neutropathy is on the Instagram. 35 00:01:45,040 --> 00:01:48,680 Speaker 2: Chad Patrick Natural Therapy is on Facebook. You can find 36 00:01:48,720 --> 00:01:51,960 Speaker 2: me also at Mergehealth mergehealth dot com. 37 00:01:52,960 --> 00:01:55,360 Speaker 1: Now there are clinic space based in Surrey Hills, is 38 00:01:55,400 --> 00:01:59,600 Speaker 1: that correct? Yeah, yeah, so this is mainly melbourneites. Do 39 00:01:59,640 --> 00:02:00,880 Speaker 1: you take Skype consults? 40 00:02:01,040 --> 00:02:03,480 Speaker 2: I do as well, So I do Skype consults as 41 00:02:03,480 --> 00:02:07,600 Speaker 2: well for counseling, mindfulness, metropathy and one on miine consults 42 00:02:07,640 --> 00:02:10,079 Speaker 2: and awesome and the group program as well. 43 00:02:10,400 --> 00:02:10,840 Speaker 3: Awesome. 44 00:02:11,000 --> 00:02:12,960 Speaker 1: So as you can see, he's doing so much stuff 45 00:02:13,000 --> 00:02:14,840 Speaker 1: and you can soak more of him up in the 46 00:02:14,880 --> 00:02:18,960 Speaker 1: flesh if you're especially if you're in Melbourne, and for 47 00:02:19,000 --> 00:02:21,960 Speaker 1: people that have more into corporate stuff, like get him 48 00:02:21,960 --> 00:02:24,400 Speaker 1: to come into your company and speak to mindfulness. 49 00:02:24,800 --> 00:02:26,359 Speaker 3: I reckon I'd be sick. 50 00:02:27,480 --> 00:02:30,799 Speaker 1: This topic and this theme is happiness and gratitude, which 51 00:02:30,840 --> 00:02:33,799 Speaker 1: is quite fitting because I feel very, very lucky and 52 00:02:33,880 --> 00:02:37,280 Speaker 1: so grateful that we've had you him all friggin day. 53 00:02:37,360 --> 00:02:39,720 Speaker 3: I've kept you. He's getting hungry. I know we've got 54 00:02:39,760 --> 00:02:40,200 Speaker 3: to get through. 55 00:02:40,400 --> 00:02:41,160 Speaker 2: Not too hungry. 56 00:02:41,280 --> 00:02:41,839 Speaker 3: You're all right. 57 00:02:41,960 --> 00:02:44,920 Speaker 2: We had our smart bars and banana. 58 00:02:44,520 --> 00:02:46,440 Speaker 3: And I've been sackond on almonds. 59 00:02:46,520 --> 00:02:48,600 Speaker 2: I'm a Lolla coffee with Lion's mane to keep my 60 00:02:48,639 --> 00:02:50,520 Speaker 2: brain firing on all cylinders. 61 00:02:50,560 --> 00:02:51,440 Speaker 3: Oh you're amazing. 62 00:02:51,520 --> 00:02:55,440 Speaker 2: I love that you. 63 00:02:55,800 --> 00:02:58,760 Speaker 1: So this this Yeah, this theme is happiness and gratitude. 64 00:02:58,760 --> 00:03:01,120 Speaker 1: And I've watched a few document entries on happiness and 65 00:03:01,200 --> 00:03:05,000 Speaker 1: often happiness is kind of like it's so interesting because 66 00:03:05,040 --> 00:03:07,480 Speaker 1: in the earlier episodes, I'm pretty sure you mentioned this 67 00:03:07,560 --> 00:03:10,560 Speaker 1: in the introduction, so kind of like the first episode 68 00:03:10,560 --> 00:03:15,160 Speaker 1: of this piece, and it's called Introduction to Mindfulness and Meditation, 69 00:03:15,320 --> 00:03:17,960 Speaker 1: you were like, our brain is hardwired to almost look 70 00:03:18,000 --> 00:03:21,360 Speaker 1: for the problem and problem solve. Yet in the documentary, 71 00:03:21,400 --> 00:03:23,720 Speaker 1: I watched the one thing that people say they wanted 72 00:03:23,880 --> 00:03:27,200 Speaker 1: was happiness. And I do a human behavior class at 73 00:03:27,240 --> 00:03:30,200 Speaker 1: acting school and we had to talk about everyone. I 74 00:03:30,200 --> 00:03:32,520 Speaker 1: had to say I wish for, I wish for, and 75 00:03:32,560 --> 00:03:35,480 Speaker 1: the most common thing was love and connection, which to 76 00:03:35,560 --> 00:03:41,120 Speaker 1: me comes under that happiness. Rubrick, would you say, so 77 00:03:41,200 --> 00:03:43,600 Speaker 1: go for it? What I unpack a bit of happiness 78 00:03:43,600 --> 00:03:44,840 Speaker 1: and gratitude for me? 79 00:03:45,520 --> 00:03:51,400 Speaker 2: Well, so, yeah, we all want to be happier or happy. 80 00:03:52,120 --> 00:03:54,960 Speaker 2: I think, you know, we all try to avoid suffering 81 00:03:55,040 --> 00:03:58,600 Speaker 2: and pain and move towards happiness and feeling good. That 82 00:03:58,680 --> 00:04:04,280 Speaker 2: sort of just innate within us. Us. However, states of happiness, 83 00:04:04,320 --> 00:04:09,240 Speaker 2: that feeling of joy, of joy, interests, pride, you know, 84 00:04:09,360 --> 00:04:12,200 Speaker 2: feeling that those are good feelings are often kind of fleeting. 85 00:04:12,240 --> 00:04:16,160 Speaker 2: They don't last around, they don't linger for all that long. 86 00:04:16,240 --> 00:04:18,480 Speaker 2: Because part of it is because when we have a 87 00:04:18,560 --> 00:04:24,040 Speaker 2: variety of different emotional experiences which are all valid, plus 88 00:04:25,960 --> 00:04:30,400 Speaker 2: we tend to focus on the neg negative. So our 89 00:04:30,480 --> 00:04:34,640 Speaker 2: mind is hardwired for survival. It's on the lookout for threat. 90 00:04:34,680 --> 00:04:36,840 Speaker 2: We've discussed this over the last few episodes. You can 91 00:04:36,880 --> 00:04:38,320 Speaker 2: find out a bit more of that in depth in 92 00:04:38,360 --> 00:04:41,560 Speaker 2: the first two Hard word for Survival. Consequently, we look 93 00:04:41,600 --> 00:04:44,359 Speaker 2: for problems, and so the mind gets hooked by these problems. 94 00:04:44,920 --> 00:04:48,200 Speaker 2: What we practice gets stronger in them brain. So the 95 00:04:48,240 --> 00:04:50,360 Speaker 2: more we look at problems, the better we are that 96 00:04:50,520 --> 00:04:53,080 Speaker 2: sticking to those problems and getting stuck by those problems. 97 00:04:53,720 --> 00:04:56,800 Speaker 2: So we sort of in a book by the guy 98 00:04:56,839 --> 00:04:59,360 Speaker 2: of Rick name of Rick Hansen, he's written a book 99 00:04:59,360 --> 00:05:03,320 Speaker 2: called The Buddh's Brain and another book on happiness. He 100 00:05:04,080 --> 00:05:07,000 Speaker 2: calls it that our mind is like velcrow for the 101 00:05:07,040 --> 00:05:11,120 Speaker 2: negative and like teflon for the positive. So our mind 102 00:05:11,160 --> 00:05:14,560 Speaker 2: will quickly stick to whatever is a danger, a threat, 103 00:05:14,640 --> 00:05:17,200 Speaker 2: or a problem because it wants to avoid that, learn 104 00:05:17,279 --> 00:05:21,320 Speaker 2: from that, and not repeat it. But if something good happens, 105 00:05:21,320 --> 00:05:23,440 Speaker 2: that's not a problem to be solved. That's fine, Okay, 106 00:05:23,480 --> 00:05:25,239 Speaker 2: I need to met so I don't need to focus 107 00:05:25,240 --> 00:05:26,880 Speaker 2: on that. Let's focus on the next problem and the 108 00:05:26,920 --> 00:05:29,880 Speaker 2: next problem and the next problem. So, knowing that we 109 00:05:29,960 --> 00:05:34,480 Speaker 2: have this inbuilt negativity bias, which is what psychologists sort 110 00:05:34,480 --> 00:05:38,120 Speaker 2: of call it, we have to kind of train the 111 00:05:38,240 --> 00:05:42,200 Speaker 2: mind then to notice the positive in some way. So 112 00:05:42,240 --> 00:05:46,600 Speaker 2: when we talk about mindfulness and sort of opening our 113 00:05:46,640 --> 00:05:51,159 Speaker 2: awareness objectively as we can, non judgmentally, with an attitude 114 00:05:51,160 --> 00:05:54,640 Speaker 2: of acceptance and welcoming. We have to be aware of 115 00:05:54,720 --> 00:05:58,040 Speaker 2: the fact that our mind is sticky to these negative experiences, 116 00:05:58,520 --> 00:06:01,039 Speaker 2: so we have to kind of overcome that somewhat by 117 00:06:01,120 --> 00:06:05,400 Speaker 2: recognizing that stickiness and the slipperiness of the happiness. So 118 00:06:05,440 --> 00:06:08,800 Speaker 2: when we have positive experiences, we want to sit with 119 00:06:08,839 --> 00:06:11,640 Speaker 2: them a little longer, notice them a bit more richly, 120 00:06:12,680 --> 00:06:16,160 Speaker 2: take our time with them, save them, really soak up 121 00:06:16,160 --> 00:06:17,520 Speaker 2: the experience. 122 00:06:17,920 --> 00:06:22,480 Speaker 1: Which it sometimes feels like like the word gloating, like 123 00:06:23,200 --> 00:06:27,000 Speaker 1: you know how people we're not trained to celebrate our success. 124 00:06:27,040 --> 00:06:29,080 Speaker 3: We're not in Australia especially. 125 00:06:29,200 --> 00:06:31,320 Speaker 2: So there is that sort of tall poppy syndrome thing 126 00:06:31,440 --> 00:06:34,000 Speaker 2: going on. And then also if something good happens, we're 127 00:06:34,040 --> 00:06:35,800 Speaker 2: sort of, you know, there is a bit of an 128 00:06:35,800 --> 00:06:37,400 Speaker 2: attitude or that's good, but you know, get over it, 129 00:06:37,480 --> 00:06:39,159 Speaker 2: don't get a big head about it. So we don't 130 00:06:39,160 --> 00:06:42,279 Speaker 2: celebrate our own successes very well, and we don't sort 131 00:06:42,279 --> 00:06:44,920 Speaker 2: of stay with positive experiences so well. And part of 132 00:06:45,000 --> 00:06:47,880 Speaker 2: that's our biology and part of its sort of cultural 133 00:06:47,920 --> 00:06:52,600 Speaker 2: as well. So there's a concept in the psychological world 134 00:06:52,600 --> 00:06:56,320 Speaker 2: called neuroplasticity, which refers to the way our brain will 135 00:06:56,360 --> 00:07:00,719 Speaker 2: physically change and adapt in response to different needs placed 136 00:07:00,760 --> 00:07:02,320 Speaker 2: on it. So, you know, many many years ago we 137 00:07:02,320 --> 00:07:04,200 Speaker 2: thought the brain didn't really change in adults. We know 138 00:07:04,320 --> 00:07:05,880 Speaker 2: now that that's not the case. That the brain is 139 00:07:05,920 --> 00:07:09,920 Speaker 2: constantly changing and making new connections. And there's an expression 140 00:07:09,960 --> 00:07:12,960 Speaker 2: again that Racanson uses a lot called neurons that fire together, 141 00:07:13,040 --> 00:07:16,040 Speaker 2: wire together. So the more kind of connections we make 142 00:07:16,040 --> 00:07:20,160 Speaker 2: in the brain between positive experiences and internalizing those positive experiences, 143 00:07:20,360 --> 00:07:25,800 Speaker 2: the more likely we are to experience those positive emotions 144 00:07:25,880 --> 00:07:28,480 Speaker 2: again in our normal day to day life. So he 145 00:07:28,600 --> 00:07:30,800 Speaker 2: has a sort of step by step process on how 146 00:07:30,840 --> 00:07:34,000 Speaker 2: to kind of soak up the good so that it 147 00:07:34,040 --> 00:07:38,200 Speaker 2: becomes kind of wide into into our brains. So he 148 00:07:38,320 --> 00:07:42,160 Speaker 2: calls it heal and it stands for h for have 149 00:07:42,280 --> 00:07:45,640 Speaker 2: a positive experience. So when you have a positive experience, 150 00:07:45,920 --> 00:07:49,160 Speaker 2: notice that you're having the positive experience, really stay present 151 00:07:49,200 --> 00:07:56,040 Speaker 2: with it, open up to it. Then he enrich it. 152 00:07:56,640 --> 00:07:59,880 Speaker 2: So really bring to mind what's going on in that 153 00:08:00,000 --> 00:08:03,240 Speaker 2: positive experience. Using all of your senses, your site, your sound, 154 00:08:03,320 --> 00:08:07,520 Speaker 2: your smell, your taste, your inter receptions, feelings inside your body, 155 00:08:07,520 --> 00:08:10,440 Speaker 2: the feelings on the surface of your body, your skin, textures, 156 00:08:10,480 --> 00:08:13,560 Speaker 2: et cetera. Bring to mind the storyline of what's sort 157 00:08:13,600 --> 00:08:16,560 Speaker 2: of going on. So you're really enriching the experience in 158 00:08:16,600 --> 00:08:19,120 Speaker 2: your brain, so you're creating a lived experience of it. 159 00:08:20,120 --> 00:08:26,160 Speaker 2: Absorb it, so intentionally kind of try to bring that 160 00:08:26,240 --> 00:08:30,440 Speaker 2: experience into your own mind. So sort of intentionally kind 161 00:08:30,440 --> 00:08:33,680 Speaker 2: of think about remembering this experience and not in a 162 00:08:33,720 --> 00:08:36,200 Speaker 2: clingy kind of holding onto your way, but just like, yep, 163 00:08:36,240 --> 00:08:38,959 Speaker 2: this moment's happening. It's wonderful, and I want to remember 164 00:08:39,000 --> 00:08:42,520 Speaker 2: it just like this and really savor it and enjoy it, 165 00:08:42,600 --> 00:08:45,079 Speaker 2: like really go along for the ride with a joyful experience, 166 00:08:45,160 --> 00:08:47,640 Speaker 2: just like savoring a really delicious meal. You can have 167 00:08:47,679 --> 00:08:53,240 Speaker 2: that delicious experience with experiences. And the final one, which 168 00:08:53,280 --> 00:08:57,440 Speaker 2: is not so critical, is link the positive experience to 169 00:08:57,520 --> 00:08:59,880 Speaker 2: other positive experiences in your life so you can enrich it. 170 00:09:00,120 --> 00:09:03,640 Speaker 2: I linking it to, oh, you know, this birthday, I'm 171 00:09:03,679 --> 00:09:06,040 Speaker 2: having a great time and it reminds me of another 172 00:09:06,080 --> 00:09:08,800 Speaker 2: birthday I had when similar people were here. And haven't 173 00:09:08,800 --> 00:09:11,520 Speaker 2: we changed? But isn't it wonderful that there's still that connection? 174 00:09:11,880 --> 00:09:14,440 Speaker 2: And the brain works through linking different ideas and so 175 00:09:14,520 --> 00:09:17,120 Speaker 2: it creates more of a network of positive sort of 176 00:09:17,160 --> 00:09:21,200 Speaker 2: feelings and you can practice. Then when you sort of 177 00:09:21,480 --> 00:09:24,240 Speaker 2: internalize this positive experience, you can bring it to mind 178 00:09:24,280 --> 00:09:27,080 Speaker 2: at any time and really feel it. You can start 179 00:09:27,160 --> 00:09:30,559 Speaker 2: flicking between a negative experience and a positive experience, and 180 00:09:30,640 --> 00:09:33,920 Speaker 2: negative experience and positive experience. Nothing too negative or traumatizing, 181 00:09:34,280 --> 00:09:36,360 Speaker 2: but so you can bring a bit of equanimity or 182 00:09:36,400 --> 00:09:41,679 Speaker 2: balance into your experience of your inner world. So soak 183 00:09:41,720 --> 00:09:44,719 Speaker 2: it up is basically the sort of shorthand wave of 184 00:09:44,720 --> 00:09:47,280 Speaker 2: saying that really save with the experience, use your senses. 185 00:09:47,880 --> 00:09:50,280 Speaker 2: Notice that your mind will straight away also stup. You 186 00:09:50,280 --> 00:09:52,160 Speaker 2: know the amount of times I've been laying on a 187 00:09:52,200 --> 00:09:54,840 Speaker 2: beach and it's you know, there's a breeze, and there's 188 00:09:54,880 --> 00:09:56,960 Speaker 2: the sound of the waves, and there's the warmth of 189 00:09:56,960 --> 00:09:59,079 Speaker 2: the sun, and then all of a sudden, the flylands 190 00:09:59,080 --> 00:10:01,040 Speaker 2: on your foot and you're like, piece is ruined, and 191 00:10:01,080 --> 00:10:02,880 Speaker 2: you're getting frustrated with the fly. And then you feel 192 00:10:02,880 --> 00:10:04,600 Speaker 2: some sand in between your toes and you get annoyed 193 00:10:04,600 --> 00:10:06,280 Speaker 2: at that, and then you feel like your armpits are sticky. 194 00:10:06,320 --> 00:10:09,240 Speaker 2: It straight away your mind is defaulting to all these problems. 195 00:10:09,480 --> 00:10:12,440 Speaker 2: So recognizing that what that's what the mind does, that's okay, 196 00:10:12,559 --> 00:10:15,320 Speaker 2: No need to fight it. But making room for the 197 00:10:15,520 --> 00:10:18,720 Speaker 2: positive experiences that are also happening and really soaking those 198 00:10:18,800 --> 00:10:21,680 Speaker 2: up and savoring them and bringing your attention back to them, 199 00:10:21,960 --> 00:10:24,640 Speaker 2: so we internalize that positive experience. 200 00:10:24,200 --> 00:10:26,240 Speaker 3: More so fascinating. 201 00:10:26,280 --> 00:10:28,560 Speaker 1: I say to people as well, you never get the 202 00:10:28,559 --> 00:10:33,200 Speaker 1: same experience back. So like, for example, I opened a 203 00:10:33,200 --> 00:10:35,920 Speaker 1: smoothie bar a few years ago, and I remember it 204 00:10:35,960 --> 00:10:38,080 Speaker 1: was really hard work and it was really easy to 205 00:10:38,160 --> 00:10:41,440 Speaker 1: kind of get stressed out with so many different things 206 00:10:41,480 --> 00:10:43,320 Speaker 1: going on that I didn't expect would be happening. 207 00:10:43,720 --> 00:10:45,720 Speaker 3: And I remember going, Lola. 208 00:10:45,520 --> 00:10:48,080 Speaker 1: You're never going to get this back. You're never going 209 00:10:48,160 --> 00:10:50,200 Speaker 1: to open your first moody bar ever again. 210 00:10:51,040 --> 00:10:54,679 Speaker 3: Soak it up. Yeah, it was kind of my mantra. 211 00:10:54,960 --> 00:10:57,559 Speaker 1: Yeah, I say it to everybody, like if someone's away, 212 00:10:57,679 --> 00:11:01,320 Speaker 1: like you went to Buttan and I remember thinking I 213 00:11:01,480 --> 00:11:05,320 Speaker 1: may never go in my lifetime and thinking how lucky 214 00:11:05,440 --> 00:11:08,040 Speaker 1: that you get to do and visit this incredible part 215 00:11:08,080 --> 00:11:10,880 Speaker 1: of the world, And I think, Yea. 216 00:11:10,960 --> 00:11:12,960 Speaker 3: My manager very much is like soak it up. 217 00:11:13,000 --> 00:11:16,760 Speaker 1: Like even at acting school, I am very uncomfortable there 218 00:11:16,760 --> 00:11:18,920 Speaker 1: a lot of the time because it's super outside of 219 00:11:18,920 --> 00:11:21,120 Speaker 1: my comfort zone. But then I'm like, I'm never going 220 00:11:21,200 --> 00:11:23,080 Speaker 1: to get this back. Why don't I just like become 221 00:11:23,120 --> 00:11:28,520 Speaker 1: a sponge and just like learn and grow and even 222 00:11:28,559 --> 00:11:31,880 Speaker 1: take on the things that I don't love because I'm 223 00:11:31,880 --> 00:11:34,360 Speaker 1: going to get something from them. I'm still going to gain. 224 00:11:35,840 --> 00:11:37,880 Speaker 1: So soak it up is a really good mantra. 225 00:11:38,200 --> 00:11:40,679 Speaker 2: Yeah, I love that. I think that's really really great. 226 00:11:41,200 --> 00:11:44,559 Speaker 2: I'm really lucky to live in the Danny Knongs beautiful 227 00:11:44,600 --> 00:11:47,199 Speaker 2: part of Victoria. But I drive an air and a 228 00:11:47,240 --> 00:11:49,480 Speaker 2: quarter and traffic on the way home and I can 229 00:11:49,520 --> 00:11:52,720 Speaker 2: get you caught up in that you know, traffic zone 230 00:11:52,760 --> 00:11:55,959 Speaker 2: of like people you know, cutting you off and getting 231 00:11:56,000 --> 00:11:56,840 Speaker 2: stuck at traffic light. 232 00:11:56,920 --> 00:11:59,440 Speaker 3: Now what though, my friend, I lost my car? Deal? 233 00:11:59,640 --> 00:12:01,720 Speaker 3: So I have you have a car and I don't. 234 00:12:01,840 --> 00:12:05,480 Speaker 2: Yeah. So often I get out of the car and 235 00:12:05,880 --> 00:12:07,840 Speaker 2: you know, I've had shitty drive or whatever, and I 236 00:12:07,960 --> 00:12:11,720 Speaker 2: pause for a second and I smell the forest, and 237 00:12:11,760 --> 00:12:16,080 Speaker 2: I remind myself, how lucky am I. What a good 238 00:12:16,080 --> 00:12:22,960 Speaker 2: segue into gratitude, Yeah, go for it feels good that 239 00:12:23,000 --> 00:12:26,960 Speaker 2: it went there. So some of the things associated with happiness, 240 00:12:27,000 --> 00:12:30,240 Speaker 2: so one savoring the good we've just discussed. Another thing 241 00:12:30,400 --> 00:12:38,040 Speaker 2: is gratitude actively practicing a feeling of appreciation and savoring 242 00:12:38,080 --> 00:12:42,040 Speaker 2: what we already have. Again, because the mind defaults to 243 00:12:42,120 --> 00:12:45,680 Speaker 2: problems and it's searching for solutions, et cetera, will tend 244 00:12:45,720 --> 00:12:48,000 Speaker 2: to think more about the things we don't have, and 245 00:12:48,000 --> 00:12:50,200 Speaker 2: we don't take stock of what we do have. So 246 00:12:50,240 --> 00:12:54,280 Speaker 2: it's a mindfulnest practice to bring gratitude into our present reality, 247 00:12:54,520 --> 00:12:59,280 Speaker 2: to notice where I am already content, where am I 248 00:12:59,320 --> 00:13:04,920 Speaker 2: already having enough, and actively savoring that too, feeling grateful 249 00:13:04,960 --> 00:13:05,320 Speaker 2: for that. 250 00:13:05,679 --> 00:13:07,280 Speaker 1: So this is where I want to know. How much 251 00:13:07,280 --> 00:13:10,439 Speaker 1: of our happiness is our perception of a situation. 252 00:13:10,000 --> 00:13:11,840 Speaker 2: That we're in. I think it's a big part of it. 253 00:13:11,880 --> 00:13:14,439 Speaker 2: You know, all of us are living better than the 254 00:13:14,559 --> 00:13:17,520 Speaker 2: kings and queens of the Middle Ages by far. You know, 255 00:13:17,520 --> 00:13:20,960 Speaker 2: we've got clean running water, access to any food you 256 00:13:21,000 --> 00:13:23,000 Speaker 2: can think of around the planet. That not all of 257 00:13:23,080 --> 00:13:25,280 Speaker 2: us are I shouldn't either, but you know many of 258 00:13:25,360 --> 00:13:28,520 Speaker 2: us are living these sorts of lifestyles that incredibly easy. 259 00:13:28,559 --> 00:13:30,520 Speaker 2: We don't have to worry about temperature, we don't need 260 00:13:30,520 --> 00:13:33,040 Speaker 2: to worry about like all sorts of things. But we 261 00:13:33,240 --> 00:13:37,280 Speaker 2: become hooked on what's next, what more do I need, 262 00:13:37,280 --> 00:13:39,720 Speaker 2: and we forget to take the time to really celebrate 263 00:13:39,760 --> 00:13:44,080 Speaker 2: what we already have, and we know now that the 264 00:13:44,200 --> 00:13:48,559 Speaker 2: state of being grateful is associated with a happier personality type, 265 00:13:48,840 --> 00:13:54,080 Speaker 2: but also the practice of being grateful, so actively noticing 266 00:13:54,120 --> 00:13:56,240 Speaker 2: the good, taking it in, being grateful for that in 267 00:13:56,280 --> 00:14:03,080 Speaker 2: our lives leads to overall happier feelings, quality relationships, better 268 00:14:03,120 --> 00:14:05,960 Speaker 2: immune function, Like all these amazing things that you wouldn't 269 00:14:05,960 --> 00:14:07,920 Speaker 2: think would come from just something as simple as, you know, 270 00:14:07,960 --> 00:14:09,960 Speaker 2: maybe taking a moment in every day to reflect on 271 00:14:10,000 --> 00:14:11,240 Speaker 2: what your value in your life. 272 00:14:11,480 --> 00:14:14,040 Speaker 1: So gratitude journals. Are they a croc of shit or 273 00:14:14,040 --> 00:14:14,800 Speaker 1: are they really good? 274 00:14:15,360 --> 00:14:17,320 Speaker 2: This is a surprising thing. Like you could think that 275 00:14:17,360 --> 00:14:20,240 Speaker 2: this stuff sounds like, you know, pop science bullshit, but 276 00:14:20,280 --> 00:14:22,160 Speaker 2: there is a good amount of science to show that 277 00:14:22,240 --> 00:14:25,680 Speaker 2: actively practicing gratitude using gratitude journals is an example or 278 00:14:25,720 --> 00:14:28,000 Speaker 2: an app or even just taking a moment at the 279 00:14:28,080 --> 00:14:29,560 Speaker 2: end of the day to reflect on you know, what 280 00:14:29,600 --> 00:14:32,000 Speaker 2: am I grateful for in my day can have a 281 00:14:32,040 --> 00:14:37,200 Speaker 2: big impact on mood, huge impact on them for most people. 282 00:14:37,400 --> 00:14:39,200 Speaker 2: Like with any of these practices, there will be exceptions. 283 00:14:39,240 --> 00:14:42,880 Speaker 2: So some people do find that the word gratitude maybe 284 00:14:42,880 --> 00:14:44,040 Speaker 2: brings up moments. 285 00:14:43,800 --> 00:14:45,720 Speaker 3: I do highlight I say to Matt, what was your 286 00:14:45,760 --> 00:14:46,560 Speaker 3: highlight of the day? 287 00:14:46,760 --> 00:14:47,600 Speaker 2: Highlight's a good one. 288 00:14:47,640 --> 00:14:49,320 Speaker 3: What was your highlight of the trip? Will always do 289 00:14:49,360 --> 00:14:50,760 Speaker 3: a little round up and he's like, here we go 290 00:14:50,880 --> 00:14:52,080 Speaker 3: his lulla's little. 291 00:14:51,920 --> 00:14:54,640 Speaker 1: Like round up of the day, like of the trip, 292 00:14:54,680 --> 00:14:56,520 Speaker 1: and I love it, like because we do a lot 293 00:14:56,560 --> 00:14:58,760 Speaker 1: of adventures, and so I'll be like, what did you 294 00:14:58,840 --> 00:15:01,800 Speaker 1: love most about that? And often they're so different to 295 00:15:01,840 --> 00:15:04,520 Speaker 1: what I love most? Yeah, yeah, So it kind of 296 00:15:04,560 --> 00:15:06,160 Speaker 1: opens your eyes up to it and you get. 297 00:15:06,040 --> 00:15:09,000 Speaker 2: To appreciate the difference as well that it's an exciting 298 00:15:09,040 --> 00:15:11,520 Speaker 2: part of being human as it. People have different experiences, 299 00:15:12,160 --> 00:15:13,240 Speaker 2: different things. Yeah. 300 00:15:13,240 --> 00:15:14,520 Speaker 3: You found a good stat didn't you. 301 00:15:14,840 --> 00:15:17,600 Speaker 2: Yeah, So a really interesting study on the use of 302 00:15:17,800 --> 00:15:26,520 Speaker 2: gratitude journals. So people who actively did a five minute 303 00:15:26,600 --> 00:15:30,680 Speaker 2: day gratitude journal or gratitude practice increase their long term 304 00:15:30,880 --> 00:15:34,440 Speaker 2: well being by more than ten percent. So that's the 305 00:15:34,560 --> 00:15:38,560 Speaker 2: same impact as doubling your income or winning tats looto. 306 00:15:39,320 --> 00:15:41,840 Speaker 2: So instead of spending you know, however much in a 307 00:15:41,880 --> 00:15:44,680 Speaker 2: tatticket every week, why don't you spend that five minutes 308 00:15:45,200 --> 00:15:47,680 Speaker 2: writing in a journal about what you're really grateful for? 309 00:15:47,760 --> 00:15:50,000 Speaker 2: As long as that does you know, some people gratitude 310 00:15:50,000 --> 00:15:51,960 Speaker 2: brings up minds if you should be more grateful for this, 311 00:15:52,040 --> 00:15:54,160 Speaker 2: So it instantly stirs up a story of you're not 312 00:15:54,200 --> 00:15:57,040 Speaker 2: appreciative enough, which is just you're not good enough. So 313 00:15:57,080 --> 00:16:00,360 Speaker 2: if that happens, letting that story go and focus back 314 00:16:00,400 --> 00:16:02,360 Speaker 2: on what do I value in my life or what 315 00:16:02,400 --> 00:16:04,280 Speaker 2: are the highlights in my life at the moment, what's 316 00:16:04,360 --> 00:16:08,880 Speaker 2: going well? Actively shifting the focus to the positive, not 317 00:16:08,960 --> 00:16:12,360 Speaker 2: because the negative is bad, not because you know, we 318 00:16:12,400 --> 00:16:14,400 Speaker 2: need to get rid of it, but because the mind 319 00:16:14,440 --> 00:16:16,800 Speaker 2: is a little bit biased, so actively sort of strengthening 320 00:16:16,880 --> 00:16:18,160 Speaker 2: those connections to the positive. 321 00:16:19,280 --> 00:16:21,680 Speaker 1: Often in yoga class, I teach a yoga class where 322 00:16:21,680 --> 00:16:24,000 Speaker 1: it's like a bit fiery, and you'll see the faces 323 00:16:24,080 --> 00:16:27,920 Speaker 1: be like either they're greazing me off the participants, or 324 00:16:27,960 --> 00:16:30,360 Speaker 1: they're getting angry at themselves for falling out of balance, 325 00:16:30,400 --> 00:16:34,000 Speaker 1: e tricky posers, and all be like, guys, how lucky 326 00:16:34,040 --> 00:16:37,520 Speaker 1: are we we're healthy enough to be doing yoga today, 327 00:16:37,960 --> 00:16:40,720 Speaker 1: that we're wealthy enough to pay for this yoga class 328 00:16:40,720 --> 00:16:45,200 Speaker 1: and live in Melbourne and on our health, And you know, 329 00:16:45,720 --> 00:16:47,560 Speaker 1: I just say like, let's have a grateful heart for 330 00:16:47,600 --> 00:16:50,520 Speaker 1: the rest of this class. You watch people go from 331 00:16:50,520 --> 00:16:54,040 Speaker 1: like scouring to laughing and smiling, and they're like, I've 332 00:16:54,040 --> 00:16:57,360 Speaker 1: got full limbs, Like how frigging lucky am I that 333 00:16:57,440 --> 00:17:01,080 Speaker 1: are able to well bodied enough to even be able 334 00:17:01,120 --> 00:17:04,000 Speaker 1: to move my body in this way? You know? And 335 00:17:04,040 --> 00:17:06,400 Speaker 1: I think that it's a really when we're stressed out, 336 00:17:06,440 --> 00:17:09,760 Speaker 1: I think the brain must go to, like whether be 337 00:17:09,800 --> 00:17:12,280 Speaker 1: physically or mentally stressed, it muscle lean more into that 338 00:17:12,520 --> 00:17:15,000 Speaker 1: negative kind of what can I do to change this? 339 00:17:15,800 --> 00:17:18,040 Speaker 1: And that kind of having that little like it's almost 340 00:17:18,119 --> 00:17:21,280 Speaker 1: like a secret tool where you're like, ah, all I 341 00:17:21,280 --> 00:17:23,679 Speaker 1: have to do is to tap into gratitude. One thing that 342 00:17:23,720 --> 00:17:26,159 Speaker 1: I do as well, Like I get taken advantage of 343 00:17:26,200 --> 00:17:29,560 Speaker 1: a little bit in business, and so often I'll sit 344 00:17:29,640 --> 00:17:31,320 Speaker 1: down and meet people and have coffee and all end 345 00:17:31,440 --> 00:17:33,639 Speaker 1: up in being a two hour coffee where I've just 346 00:17:33,720 --> 00:17:36,800 Speaker 1: like life and business coach them and I feel horrible after, 347 00:17:36,920 --> 00:17:39,440 Speaker 1: Like I get really angry at myself and I get 348 00:17:39,480 --> 00:17:41,960 Speaker 1: really guilty that I didn't see my own self worth 349 00:17:42,560 --> 00:17:45,199 Speaker 1: throughout that present. Just let someone take from me, and 350 00:17:45,240 --> 00:17:47,760 Speaker 1: I'll quickly get in my car, or I'll sit down 351 00:17:47,800 --> 00:17:51,120 Speaker 1: and be like, what is the lesson I can take 352 00:17:51,160 --> 00:17:54,320 Speaker 1: from this? What can I be grateful for and I'll 353 00:17:54,359 --> 00:17:57,639 Speaker 1: be like, Lola, this is a lesson about low self worth. 354 00:17:58,040 --> 00:18:00,840 Speaker 1: You need to and with my therapist will be like, 355 00:18:00,880 --> 00:18:03,800 Speaker 1: how would we do that differently if we got that again? 356 00:18:04,680 --> 00:18:06,480 Speaker 3: And then it almost. 357 00:18:06,240 --> 00:18:11,879 Speaker 1: Turns like yucky situations into oppositi unity. Yeah, yeah, And 358 00:18:11,920 --> 00:18:16,119 Speaker 1: it makes this whole gratitude thing becomes super powerful and 359 00:18:16,280 --> 00:18:17,280 Speaker 1: very potent. 360 00:18:17,280 --> 00:18:19,880 Speaker 2: Very very potent. Yeah. And I think you know, it's 361 00:18:19,920 --> 00:18:22,439 Speaker 2: not about kind of wishy washy positive thinking or being 362 00:18:22,520 --> 00:18:26,880 Speaker 2: polyannorish about stuff. It's genuinely appreciating the fact that good 363 00:18:26,960 --> 00:18:29,720 Speaker 2: things happen, that good things happen in life, and it's 364 00:18:29,720 --> 00:18:33,080 Speaker 2: okay to savor that and notice that. And that draws 365 00:18:33,119 --> 00:18:36,399 Speaker 2: us into the next topic. And another component of happiness is 366 00:18:36,640 --> 00:18:41,600 Speaker 2: to have a degree of honest self appreciation, to recognize 367 00:18:41,920 --> 00:18:44,800 Speaker 2: you've got good points, to recognize you've got strengths, to 368 00:18:44,840 --> 00:18:49,879 Speaker 2: recognize you've got qualities that are valuable, and to also 369 00:18:50,040 --> 00:18:54,399 Speaker 2: have some gratitude towards yourself. We do an interesting exercise 370 00:18:54,440 --> 00:18:56,480 Speaker 2: in the Mind for Self Compassion group, and now I'm 371 00:18:56,600 --> 00:19:00,159 Speaker 2: giving away one of the sort of surprises, but we 372 00:19:00,240 --> 00:19:03,280 Speaker 2: get people to list ten things they're grateful for and 373 00:19:03,359 --> 00:19:06,040 Speaker 2: just inconsequential things, but that make a difference in your 374 00:19:06,040 --> 00:19:07,760 Speaker 2: life in the day to day. It could be, you know, 375 00:19:07,960 --> 00:19:10,200 Speaker 2: buttons on your shirt. It could be having a remote 376 00:19:10,240 --> 00:19:13,240 Speaker 2: control for your TV. It could be running fresh, clean 377 00:19:13,280 --> 00:19:16,920 Speaker 2: water from the tap. Most people will write all these 378 00:19:16,960 --> 00:19:20,800 Speaker 2: external things. Very few people write qualities with themselves. I'm 379 00:19:20,800 --> 00:19:26,240 Speaker 2: grateful for my intelligence. I'm grateful for my ability to 380 00:19:26,320 --> 00:19:29,320 Speaker 2: get stuff done on a day to day. My brain's 381 00:19:29,320 --> 00:19:30,880 Speaker 2: not working very well at the stage of the day. 382 00:19:31,040 --> 00:19:34,399 Speaker 1: With our last episode, I probably the day, so it 383 00:19:34,800 --> 00:19:36,560 Speaker 1: is can add to that one because I had a 384 00:19:36,560 --> 00:19:39,040 Speaker 1: note in here and I haven't don't think I'm told this, 385 00:19:39,080 --> 00:19:42,919 Speaker 1: but like I've written, I don't take stock in what 386 00:19:42,960 --> 00:19:43,640 Speaker 1: I've done. 387 00:19:44,200 --> 00:19:46,160 Speaker 3: I'm often chasing the next thing. 388 00:19:46,800 --> 00:19:49,240 Speaker 1: I'll never go wow, I've written ten books and people 389 00:19:49,240 --> 00:19:50,760 Speaker 1: will say that to me, Oh my god, you've written 390 00:19:50,760 --> 00:19:53,440 Speaker 1: ten books, and I'm like honor and I have. 391 00:19:53,960 --> 00:19:56,840 Speaker 3: But I think the brain does. 392 00:19:56,680 --> 00:19:59,639 Speaker 1: Do that negative thing, like, oh, I don't want to 393 00:19:59,680 --> 00:20:01,679 Speaker 1: be I might be like wanting to fit in with 394 00:20:01,720 --> 00:20:03,280 Speaker 1: the group, and I don't want to seem like I'm 395 00:20:03,320 --> 00:20:05,480 Speaker 1: up myself, you know, And I don't want them to 396 00:20:05,560 --> 00:20:07,159 Speaker 1: judge me like I've got a big ego or I'm 397 00:20:07,160 --> 00:20:09,480 Speaker 1: an arcissistic so I'm going to talk myself down. But 398 00:20:09,920 --> 00:20:14,080 Speaker 1: I still, even in my own time, I don't go, oh, 399 00:20:14,760 --> 00:20:17,600 Speaker 1: I did this really cool thing, Like we record an 400 00:20:17,640 --> 00:20:20,520 Speaker 1: awesome live podcast that you were a part of last 401 00:20:20,520 --> 00:20:24,960 Speaker 1: week and you can hear Jad's mindfulness exercise that we 402 00:20:25,040 --> 00:20:25,440 Speaker 1: did there. 403 00:20:26,160 --> 00:20:27,200 Speaker 3: And it was a big feat. 404 00:20:27,240 --> 00:20:28,960 Speaker 1: It was a lot of work, it was a lot 405 00:20:29,000 --> 00:20:32,760 Speaker 1: of moving parts right up until the event. And I 406 00:20:32,840 --> 00:20:35,600 Speaker 1: don't think I sat and was like, I did this 407 00:20:35,680 --> 00:20:36,440 Speaker 1: really cool thing. 408 00:20:36,560 --> 00:20:36,840 Speaker 3: I was. 409 00:20:36,960 --> 00:20:39,600 Speaker 1: I literally within an hour of it finishing, was on 410 00:20:39,640 --> 00:20:41,000 Speaker 1: the phone to my agent's going, how do I do 411 00:20:41,040 --> 00:20:41,320 Speaker 1: it again? 412 00:20:41,320 --> 00:20:41,800 Speaker 3: In Sydney? 413 00:20:41,920 --> 00:20:45,320 Speaker 2: That was my forethought of austraight onto the next thing. 414 00:20:45,560 --> 00:20:48,440 Speaker 1: Yeah, And I think I know that's me, but I'm 415 00:20:48,480 --> 00:20:50,919 Speaker 1: sure it's a lot of people that don't take stock 416 00:20:51,119 --> 00:20:52,959 Speaker 1: in and celebrate themselves. 417 00:20:53,119 --> 00:20:56,960 Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah, And you know, we avoid what feels bad 418 00:20:57,000 --> 00:21:00,439 Speaker 2: and we repeat what feels good, and so often we 419 00:21:00,480 --> 00:21:02,920 Speaker 2: don't take the time to feel good about what we've done. 420 00:21:02,960 --> 00:21:06,400 Speaker 2: We're not actually reinforcing the behavior. We tend to move 421 00:21:06,440 --> 00:21:08,760 Speaker 2: into self critical critical moad. I should have done that better, 422 00:21:08,760 --> 00:21:10,200 Speaker 2: I should have done this better, And what's the next 423 00:21:10,200 --> 00:21:15,399 Speaker 2: thing I need to do, you know. And a side 424 00:21:15,440 --> 00:21:17,480 Speaker 2: sort of story here is one of the things I've 425 00:21:17,720 --> 00:21:19,879 Speaker 2: that's gotten me into a really regular gym habit in 426 00:21:19,880 --> 00:21:23,359 Speaker 2: the last two years has been this practice of self compassion. Beforehand, 427 00:21:23,400 --> 00:21:26,199 Speaker 2: I always had the knowledge why gym was good, enjoyed it. 428 00:21:26,200 --> 00:21:27,720 Speaker 2: When I was there, We'd push myself hard, but I'd 429 00:21:27,720 --> 00:21:29,960 Speaker 2: push push, push, push, push, and then I'd drop off 430 00:21:30,000 --> 00:21:33,400 Speaker 2: and stop going. And it was because whenever i'd go, 431 00:21:33,560 --> 00:21:35,280 Speaker 2: I'd always be like, oh, but I didn't do enough 432 00:21:35,280 --> 00:21:36,560 Speaker 2: of that, and I should have done more reps with 433 00:21:36,600 --> 00:21:38,399 Speaker 2: that exercise, and on what can I do better on 434 00:21:38,440 --> 00:21:40,600 Speaker 2: the next one, And so there was this sort of 435 00:21:40,680 --> 00:21:45,240 Speaker 2: negative feeling associated with it if not good enoughness. Instead, 436 00:21:45,400 --> 00:21:47,720 Speaker 2: this past two years, every time I go, I'm like, 437 00:21:47,920 --> 00:21:50,560 Speaker 2: just walk through the door. Walk through the door. If 438 00:21:50,560 --> 00:21:52,480 Speaker 2: you decide you want to go go home. So it 439 00:21:52,480 --> 00:21:54,520 Speaker 2: gets this of the pressures gets taken out of it, 440 00:21:54,880 --> 00:21:56,800 Speaker 2: and just little things. If I do ten minutes on 441 00:21:56,840 --> 00:21:58,960 Speaker 2: the treadmill, I'll be like, well done, Chad, you did 442 00:21:58,960 --> 00:22:02,119 Speaker 2: ten minutes on the treadmill. And it feels stupid at first, 443 00:22:02,440 --> 00:22:04,960 Speaker 2: but it became then creates this sort of positive experience 444 00:22:05,000 --> 00:22:07,399 Speaker 2: of like that was enjoyable, and you know enough of 445 00:22:07,440 --> 00:22:09,560 Speaker 2: a push that you know you're motivating yourself, but not 446 00:22:09,600 --> 00:22:13,240 Speaker 2: so much that it becomes this like slog slog exactly 447 00:22:13,840 --> 00:22:15,959 Speaker 2: and lo and behold. At first, I thought, oh, this 448 00:22:16,000 --> 00:22:18,080 Speaker 2: is never going to work. I've been going consistently now 449 00:22:18,119 --> 00:22:20,879 Speaker 2: for a year and a half two years, which beforehand. 450 00:22:20,440 --> 00:22:23,240 Speaker 3: Was just and Jad's ramped. Now it's so annoying. 451 00:22:24,000 --> 00:22:27,600 Speaker 2: Yeah, a lot of lie on this show. 452 00:22:28,160 --> 00:22:32,639 Speaker 1: No no, I, but it's it's so fascinating because I 453 00:22:32,680 --> 00:22:34,919 Speaker 1: think we look at so many things in our life 454 00:22:35,000 --> 00:22:38,000 Speaker 1: as like tasks that were just like we should do, 455 00:22:38,240 --> 00:22:40,840 Speaker 1: like the gym or going like as you were saying 456 00:22:40,880 --> 00:22:43,760 Speaker 1: that in yoga, I go usually helpful. 457 00:22:43,800 --> 00:22:45,600 Speaker 3: Ever, so I've got really hard of it or hot 458 00:22:45,680 --> 00:22:46,400 Speaker 3: yoga class. 459 00:22:46,640 --> 00:22:48,760 Speaker 1: I'm a backbend, so we'll go really hard on my 460 00:22:48,840 --> 00:22:51,719 Speaker 1: back bends. And now the first thing I do when 461 00:22:51,760 --> 00:22:53,359 Speaker 1: I go to yoga class is I go straight to 462 00:22:53,400 --> 00:22:56,439 Speaker 1: where you can take the little blocks, like little yoga blocks, 463 00:22:56,640 --> 00:22:58,720 Speaker 1: so that I can do a supporter backbend, which is 464 00:22:58,800 --> 00:23:02,120 Speaker 1: much easier, much gentler on my spine. But I tune 465 00:23:02,160 --> 00:23:04,840 Speaker 1: into what my body needs, where I'm my cycle and 466 00:23:04,880 --> 00:23:09,480 Speaker 1: how I feel in that moment if it's nourishing to 467 00:23:09,520 --> 00:23:12,560 Speaker 1: my body or if it's not, and it makes going 468 00:23:12,560 --> 00:23:14,840 Speaker 1: to yoga so much more fun. Yeah, because you're not 469 00:23:15,119 --> 00:23:16,360 Speaker 1: punishing yourself. 470 00:23:16,520 --> 00:23:19,600 Speaker 2: Yeah, exactly. It's about Yeah, there's a big difference between 471 00:23:19,640 --> 00:23:22,320 Speaker 2: punishing yourself and coming from a perspective of I'm not 472 00:23:22,359 --> 00:23:25,440 Speaker 2: good enough, so you're moving away from a problem problem 473 00:23:25,640 --> 00:23:28,880 Speaker 2: versus I'm good enough, but I also want to be better, 474 00:23:29,000 --> 00:23:30,760 Speaker 2: I want what's best for me, or I want to 475 00:23:30,800 --> 00:23:33,520 Speaker 2: grow even further. That's the different energy behind it. 476 00:23:34,320 --> 00:23:37,879 Speaker 1: Just on the quickly on the concept of happiness, and 477 00:23:37,960 --> 00:23:41,919 Speaker 1: I think you've already probably touched on this is opposed 478 00:23:41,920 --> 00:23:44,040 Speaker 1: to it being like this destination, like I'm going to 479 00:23:44,119 --> 00:23:46,240 Speaker 1: get to happiness and then my life is sorted. 480 00:23:46,840 --> 00:23:48,680 Speaker 3: It is happiness. 481 00:23:48,280 --> 00:23:50,199 Speaker 1: Kind of like one of many different things that we 482 00:23:50,320 --> 00:23:51,480 Speaker 1: feel at different times. 483 00:23:51,960 --> 00:23:55,400 Speaker 2: Yeah, exactly, so that the feeling we call happiness is fleeting. 484 00:23:55,440 --> 00:23:58,080 Speaker 2: It's part of the myriad of feelings of experience. I 485 00:23:58,119 --> 00:24:01,280 Speaker 2: guess that a better word for for the happiness we're 486 00:24:01,320 --> 00:24:04,359 Speaker 2: kind of wanting in life is kind of contentment, which 487 00:24:04,760 --> 00:24:08,080 Speaker 2: I read a good definition of contentment. It's pleasure plus meaning, 488 00:24:08,280 --> 00:24:10,320 Speaker 2: and meaning is still the greater part of it. So 489 00:24:10,359 --> 00:24:12,600 Speaker 2: sometimes we can be in the greatest of pain but 490 00:24:12,680 --> 00:24:14,320 Speaker 2: still find a lot of meaning in our lives, and 491 00:24:14,359 --> 00:24:16,960 Speaker 2: our lives feels kind of happy or content. And other 492 00:24:17,000 --> 00:24:19,040 Speaker 2: times we can have all sorts of things given to 493 00:24:19,200 --> 00:24:21,440 Speaker 2: us and be in a great situation but still feel 494 00:24:21,480 --> 00:24:25,640 Speaker 2: quite miserable. The Greeks had a really good word for 495 00:24:25,920 --> 00:24:28,560 Speaker 2: their version of happiness. The ancient Greeks called you'd ammonia, 496 00:24:28,640 --> 00:24:32,439 Speaker 2: which sort of translates as flourishing, and it was about 497 00:24:32,520 --> 00:24:36,480 Speaker 2: living in accordance with one's values and virtues. So again 498 00:24:36,680 --> 00:24:39,560 Speaker 2: values come into it. What's important and meaningful to me 499 00:24:39,600 --> 00:24:41,760 Speaker 2: in my life. Once you know what's important and meaningful, 500 00:24:42,240 --> 00:24:45,600 Speaker 2: you can withstand even the biggest of storms because you've 501 00:24:45,640 --> 00:24:50,080 Speaker 2: got these values that give you strength and energy and enthusiasm. 502 00:24:50,520 --> 00:24:53,119 Speaker 2: And then happiness becomes just a byproduct. It's a nice 503 00:24:53,400 --> 00:24:55,880 Speaker 2: it's a nice stopover on the way. But when you're 504 00:24:56,000 --> 00:24:58,720 Speaker 2: in touch with the values, sadness and grief and pain 505 00:24:58,840 --> 00:25:01,480 Speaker 2: can also be a rich part of the human experience. 506 00:25:01,520 --> 00:25:04,800 Speaker 2: They build more meaning and drama into our into our lives. 507 00:25:04,960 --> 00:25:07,479 Speaker 2: So being able to open up to those welcome them 508 00:25:07,520 --> 00:25:10,240 Speaker 2: in and stick to our values and do what's important. 509 00:25:10,320 --> 00:25:12,800 Speaker 2: That's where real contentment and happiness I think comes from. 510 00:25:14,400 --> 00:25:15,080 Speaker 3: You're awesome. 511 00:25:15,280 --> 00:25:18,080 Speaker 1: That was a perfect way to round up. Is anything 512 00:25:18,119 --> 00:25:20,360 Speaker 1: you want to add to this topic, because I mean, 513 00:25:20,400 --> 00:25:22,840 Speaker 1: I would hate it if we miss the word. 514 00:25:23,200 --> 00:25:26,520 Speaker 2: You demmonia, you demmonia. I'm not even sure if I'm 515 00:25:26,560 --> 00:25:28,920 Speaker 2: saying that right, but sounds good one of those words 516 00:25:28,960 --> 00:25:31,520 Speaker 2: have read a lot and then never said it out loud. 517 00:25:31,880 --> 00:25:33,120 Speaker 3: Oh it's beautiful word. 518 00:25:33,920 --> 00:25:36,560 Speaker 1: And I think, like you said, like I think if 519 00:25:36,600 --> 00:25:38,720 Speaker 1: we think and for me as soon as you said 520 00:25:39,080 --> 00:25:43,320 Speaker 1: contentment where pleasure and meaning are met to me, that 521 00:25:43,440 --> 00:25:47,040 Speaker 1: feels as you were saying that more like purpose more purposeful, 522 00:25:47,080 --> 00:25:49,639 Speaker 1: as opposed to I've got to get that thing and 523 00:25:49,680 --> 00:25:51,760 Speaker 1: tick that box and I'm going to feel happy at 524 00:25:51,760 --> 00:25:54,280 Speaker 1: the end of that because you probably won't, but when 525 00:25:54,320 --> 00:25:58,000 Speaker 1: it becomes from pleasure and meaning, like I think that's 526 00:25:58,040 --> 00:26:00,520 Speaker 1: why the live podcast worked. I think that's why the 527 00:26:00,520 --> 00:26:02,920 Speaker 1: podcasts work because it's the two things for me. 528 00:26:03,240 --> 00:26:06,680 Speaker 2: Coming together, correct and just that little sprinkling of challenge 529 00:26:06,760 --> 00:26:09,480 Speaker 2: Jorey as well, which gets us into that flow state 530 00:26:09,520 --> 00:26:11,639 Speaker 2: where we sort of feel pushed and stretched so we 531 00:26:11,720 --> 00:26:14,639 Speaker 2: have to focus, but not to the point of overwhelm 532 00:26:14,880 --> 00:26:17,320 Speaker 2: and also not so easy that it becomes well, what's 533 00:26:17,359 --> 00:26:18,880 Speaker 2: the meaning of this? Was the purpose of this? It's 534 00:26:18,880 --> 00:26:23,520 Speaker 2: too easy? So yeah, how exciting. What a great bunch 535 00:26:23,560 --> 00:26:24,440 Speaker 2: of chats we've. 536 00:26:24,240 --> 00:26:25,680 Speaker 3: Had, so awesome. 537 00:26:25,800 --> 00:26:29,040 Speaker 1: Thank you so much to everybody that's listened and been 538 00:26:29,080 --> 00:26:31,440 Speaker 1: along this journey with us. Thank you for being part 539 00:26:31,480 --> 00:26:34,320 Speaker 1: of it and making it possible. If you have just 540 00:26:34,400 --> 00:26:36,320 Speaker 1: this is the first one you've listened to, the Happiness 541 00:26:36,320 --> 00:26:38,879 Speaker 1: and Gratitude one, go back and listen to the past 542 00:26:38,920 --> 00:26:42,919 Speaker 1: five episodes, because we have covered so many topics, stress 543 00:26:42,920 --> 00:26:49,000 Speaker 1: and anxiety, grief, heartbreak, body image, feeling stuck there. We've 544 00:26:49,040 --> 00:26:52,959 Speaker 1: covered heaps and heaps of stuff. So speaking of gratitude, 545 00:26:53,000 --> 00:26:53,640 Speaker 1: thank you. 546 00:26:53,640 --> 00:26:56,720 Speaker 2: Oh, thank you so much. And you know, it's a 547 00:26:56,760 --> 00:26:59,399 Speaker 2: pleasure always doing anything with you. We always have so 548 00:26:59,480 --> 00:27:01,000 Speaker 2: much fun to get there and make it fun. And 549 00:27:02,119 --> 00:27:05,000 Speaker 2: you know, I want people listening to know how grateful 550 00:27:05,040 --> 00:27:06,800 Speaker 2: I am for Lawer in my life because she's just 551 00:27:07,000 --> 00:27:09,520 Speaker 2: she's such a giving person, which a lot of people 552 00:27:09,520 --> 00:27:11,240 Speaker 2: I think, you know, maybe you don't know that side 553 00:27:11,240 --> 00:27:13,920 Speaker 2: of her, sort of in the kind of spotlighting situations 554 00:27:13,920 --> 00:27:16,840 Speaker 2: that she gives a huge amount of time and so 555 00:27:17,040 --> 00:27:19,280 Speaker 2: much work goes on behind the scenes that people are 556 00:27:19,359 --> 00:27:21,560 Speaker 2: nutaware of, and it's you know, she's always inspired me, 557 00:27:21,600 --> 00:27:24,280 Speaker 2: and you know, it's been a pleasure to do to 558 00:27:24,440 --> 00:27:25,919 Speaker 2: work on this stuff, and you know, these are things 559 00:27:25,960 --> 00:27:27,560 Speaker 2: that I'm so passionate about and want to share, and 560 00:27:27,640 --> 00:27:30,840 Speaker 2: here I have the opportunity. So I'm very grateful. 561 00:27:30,480 --> 00:27:33,439 Speaker 1: To I'm sorry, this is just the beginning for you, 562 00:27:33,520 --> 00:27:35,520 Speaker 1: my friend, as far as sharing more, I know You've 563 00:27:35,560 --> 00:27:39,520 Speaker 1: got way more of this stuff within you. And yeah, 564 00:27:39,560 --> 00:27:42,280 Speaker 1: it's it's an honor to be your friend as well. 565 00:27:42,320 --> 00:27:46,800 Speaker 1: So it's no, seriously, it's very we Our friendship has 566 00:27:46,840 --> 00:27:48,880 Speaker 1: stood the test of me living in a different state 567 00:27:48,960 --> 00:27:52,120 Speaker 1: for six years. A few times I think I've been 568 00:27:52,160 --> 00:27:56,439 Speaker 1: away and we'll always just check in. And so no, 569 00:27:56,600 --> 00:27:59,160 Speaker 1: it's this feels to me. When I was thinking about 570 00:27:59,200 --> 00:28:01,200 Speaker 1: when you were just talking then how this whole process 571 00:28:01,200 --> 00:28:05,199 Speaker 1: has felt, it just feels natural to me, and I 572 00:28:05,240 --> 00:28:09,920 Speaker 1: think that that's a pretty beautiful place to create something from. 573 00:28:09,960 --> 00:28:25,679 Speaker 3: So thank you. Please subscribe people big love JAD Here. 574 00:28:22,560 --> 00:28:29,840 Speaker 2: This meditation is called giving and Receiving compassion. Please adopt 575 00:28:29,880 --> 00:28:32,639 Speaker 2: a comfortable meditation posture that you can hold for at 576 00:28:32,720 --> 00:28:36,880 Speaker 2: least ten to fifteen minutes, sitting with you back upright 577 00:28:37,000 --> 00:28:42,080 Speaker 2: to allow full easy breath in and out, but not 578 00:28:42,240 --> 00:28:47,040 Speaker 2: so that you feel stiff or uncomfortable breathing in. 579 00:28:48,800 --> 00:28:54,320 Speaker 4: Roll your shoulders back and open your chest area, softening 580 00:28:54,360 --> 00:29:00,280 Speaker 4: your belly, and breathing out any tension. 581 00:29:00,120 --> 00:29:09,000 Speaker 2: In your face. Bally your shoulders, settling into the present moment, 582 00:29:14,480 --> 00:29:17,120 Speaker 2: and if you like, you can place your hand over 583 00:29:17,160 --> 00:29:22,200 Speaker 2: your heart area, noticing that warmth of your hand, the 584 00:29:22,240 --> 00:29:27,800 Speaker 2: gentle pressure of your hand, feeling that warmth, setting the 585 00:29:27,880 --> 00:29:32,719 Speaker 2: intention for this meditation. With this meditation, you're harnessing the 586 00:29:32,760 --> 00:29:37,800 Speaker 2: powers of concentration by deliberately bringing compassion into your awareness 587 00:29:37,880 --> 00:29:46,520 Speaker 2: for yourself and for others, Letting go of your hand 588 00:29:46,560 --> 00:29:49,680 Speaker 2: if you like, or keeping it there, always checking in 589 00:29:49,800 --> 00:29:52,680 Speaker 2: what do I need right now in this moment? Do 590 00:29:52,760 --> 00:29:55,440 Speaker 2: I need a little bit of supportive touch, or I'm 591 00:29:55,440 --> 00:29:57,880 Speaker 2: okay just letting the hand hang where it wants to hang. 592 00:30:02,800 --> 00:30:08,960 Speaker 2: Turning your awareness now to your breathing, feeling your breath 593 00:30:09,000 --> 00:30:16,960 Speaker 2: in your body, noticing wherever you can sense the breath 594 00:30:17,040 --> 00:30:26,120 Speaker 2: most easily, Noticing the way our minds and body feel 595 00:30:26,600 --> 00:30:35,560 Speaker 2: energized on the in breath as oxygen comes in and 596 00:30:35,720 --> 00:30:37,960 Speaker 2: how we have a sense of letting go and a 597 00:30:38,000 --> 00:30:49,760 Speaker 2: feeling of relaxation with each outbreath. Tuning in again now 598 00:30:49,800 --> 00:30:55,760 Speaker 2: to what you need in this moment, and imagine breathing 599 00:30:55,840 --> 00:31:02,800 Speaker 2: in something good just for you. Imagine you're breathing in 600 00:31:02,840 --> 00:31:14,440 Speaker 2: some good qualities such as compassion for yourself or kindness, warmth, courage, 601 00:31:14,760 --> 00:31:20,360 Speaker 2: or even love. You can feel this in your body 602 00:31:20,360 --> 00:31:25,120 Speaker 2: as you breathe in, or perhaps silently saying the word 603 00:31:25,160 --> 00:31:41,520 Speaker 2: to yourself with each breath in. Some people might like 604 00:31:41,560 --> 00:31:44,000 Speaker 2: to use an image or a color that represents this 605 00:31:44,120 --> 00:31:55,040 Speaker 2: quality as they breathe this in for themselves each in breath, 606 00:31:56,160 --> 00:31:59,400 Speaker 2: concentrating on the im breath and breathing in something good 607 00:31:59,480 --> 00:32:17,160 Speaker 2: that you need. Then when you're ready, slowly shifting your 608 00:32:17,160 --> 00:32:24,360 Speaker 2: focus to the outbreath, feeling into your body as you 609 00:32:24,440 --> 00:32:38,080 Speaker 2: breathe out, releasing any unnecessary tension and struggle, maybe even 610 00:32:38,120 --> 00:32:50,080 Speaker 2: savoring and enjoying the ease of exhalation. Each breath out 611 00:32:50,160 --> 00:33:04,400 Speaker 2: an opportunity to let go a little further now if 612 00:33:04,440 --> 00:33:07,360 Speaker 2: it feels right for you, inviting someone into your mind 613 00:33:07,440 --> 00:33:11,840 Speaker 2: who you care for, but who is struggling in some 614 00:33:11,960 --> 00:33:18,160 Speaker 2: way in their life right now, someone you know who 615 00:33:18,280 --> 00:33:28,240 Speaker 2: needs some compassion, visualizing this person in your mind, or 616 00:33:28,280 --> 00:33:31,160 Speaker 2: if you find it difficult to visualize, perhaps just bringing 617 00:33:31,200 --> 00:33:35,000 Speaker 2: to mind the felt presence of this person or living 618 00:33:35,040 --> 00:33:46,440 Speaker 2: being who is experiencing some difficulty, now imagining with each 619 00:33:46,520 --> 00:33:50,840 Speaker 2: outbreath that you're directing that feeling of ease that comes 620 00:33:50,840 --> 00:33:56,400 Speaker 2: with each exhalation to that person or being, so breathing 621 00:33:56,440 --> 00:34:00,560 Speaker 2: out that feeling of ah, that feeling of ease and relaxation, 622 00:34:06,240 --> 00:34:14,839 Speaker 2: perhaps intentionally sending out the feeling of warmth, kindness, and 623 00:34:14,880 --> 00:34:22,400 Speaker 2: compassion to this person or being or whatever else you 624 00:34:22,520 --> 00:34:30,280 Speaker 2: feel they need in this moment, feeling the good intention 625 00:34:30,520 --> 00:34:34,680 Speaker 2: behind this, the wish that they be happy and free 626 00:34:34,719 --> 00:34:52,800 Speaker 2: from suffering, with each outbreath, sending them something good, turning 627 00:34:52,840 --> 00:34:57,239 Speaker 2: back towards yourself now directing a few breaths in for 628 00:34:57,320 --> 00:35:04,040 Speaker 2: yourself of compassion or whatever you feel you need in 629 00:35:04,080 --> 00:35:19,799 Speaker 2: this moment, and then when it feels right, directing their 630 00:35:19,880 --> 00:35:31,160 Speaker 2: breath back to them, perhaps silently saying to yourself, in 631 00:35:31,239 --> 00:35:45,560 Speaker 2: for me and out for you, in for me and 632 00:35:46,000 --> 00:35:55,360 Speaker 2: doubt for you, or one for me and one for you, 633 00:36:01,360 --> 00:36:04,359 Speaker 2: checking in with yourself, where does this flow of compassion 634 00:36:04,600 --> 00:36:10,080 Speaker 2: need to go in this moment, perhaps you feel like 635 00:36:10,160 --> 00:36:11,759 Speaker 2: you need a little bit more and you need to 636 00:36:11,800 --> 00:36:16,880 Speaker 2: breathe in and out something good just for you. Or 637 00:36:16,920 --> 00:36:19,480 Speaker 2: perhaps you're feeling really good and want to direct a 638 00:36:19,520 --> 00:36:30,160 Speaker 2: bit more to them, feeling what feels right, breathing compassion 639 00:36:30,239 --> 00:36:43,200 Speaker 2: in and breathing compassion out, And perhaps you might like 640 00:36:43,280 --> 00:36:50,040 Speaker 2: to include more than one person, Sending intentions of love 641 00:36:50,320 --> 00:36:57,239 Speaker 2: and compassion and kindness out to a group or to 642 00:36:57,440 --> 00:37:10,120 Speaker 2: all sentient beings, imagining that there's a limitless flow of compassion, 643 00:37:10,560 --> 00:37:16,759 Speaker 2: an endless ocean of compassion whose waves ride on your 644 00:37:16,920 --> 00:37:27,719 Speaker 2: very own breath, directing your intentions out into the world, 645 00:37:31,520 --> 00:37:40,920 Speaker 2: savoring any warm feelings that might arise, and making room 646 00:37:41,040 --> 00:37:44,719 Speaker 2: for any difficult feelings that are there too, holding them 647 00:37:44,960 --> 00:38:03,160 Speaker 2: in compassionate awareness as well, if it feels right to 648 00:38:03,200 --> 00:38:08,080 Speaker 2: do so, Placing your hand again on your heart or 649 00:38:08,120 --> 00:38:13,400 Speaker 2: any other part of your body that feels supportive, noticing 650 00:38:13,520 --> 00:38:18,800 Speaker 2: the warmth and gentle pressure of your hand, and thanking 651 00:38:18,840 --> 00:38:23,640 Speaker 2: yourself for setting aside this time to develop your skills 652 00:38:23,640 --> 00:38:36,200 Speaker 2: of concentration and compassion. And then, whenever you're ready, they 653 00:38:36,200 --> 00:38:39,280 Speaker 2: ever so gently, opening your eyes