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Speaker 1: It's a woman woody podcast minis.

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Speaker 2: But when you're in a rush or just can't be

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Speaker 2: bothered listening to them blather on for half an.

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Speaker 3: Hour, does being married enable or encourage rather than prevent

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Speaker 3: bad behavior? Cheez It is.

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Speaker 2: A great contention to explore. Can I just say now,

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Speaker 2: I'll I'll explain myself. Because on the surface, when someone

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Speaker 2: gets married, I mean, the whole principle is and and

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Speaker 2: the connotation that goes with that is that you're settling down,

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Speaker 2: it's time to get serious, you're committed, and that's.

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Speaker 3: Why you're choosing to marriage to each other. But in reality,

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Speaker 3: I think, and I think this is just this is

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Speaker 3: just my thoughts. I think it can mean that because

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Speaker 3: you're married, because you have that security, some people abuse

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Speaker 3: the contract and rely on its security rather than honor it.

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Speaker 4: And you're saying, like, ah, if I if I do

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Speaker 4: this bad behavior, let's use if I stay out a

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Speaker 4: bit later or anger them a little bit, it doesn't

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Speaker 4: really matter because we're not going to get a divorce

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Speaker 4: over it.

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Speaker 3: Well, a divorce is a big hassle, whereas marriage as

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Speaker 3: big as you don't have as many monetary obligations to

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Speaker 3: each other. I mean, there's all sorts of things that

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Speaker 3: come with this promise of getting married that ensures that, Yeah,

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Speaker 3: as you said, people might be able to get away

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Speaker 3: with more because they know that the hassle of getting

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Speaker 3: formally divorced is a security blanket effectively. Now, the reason

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Speaker 3: I bring this up is because Justin Bieber, who ran

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Speaker 3: to the altar like a track star in that song,

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Speaker 3: and I don't really know what that means, but he's married.

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Speaker 3: He's married the big fellow, and he recently got another tattoo.

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Speaker 3: He got a peach on his neck. He got a

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Speaker 3: new song called Peaches. Sure gets his weed from Calorporne,

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Speaker 3: and he'll get his peaches for you. I mean, he's

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Speaker 3: the best for a reason. Anyway.

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Speaker 1: He's got early. The peaches in California are very good.

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Speaker 3: He's got a peach tattooed on his neck. And his wife,

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Speaker 3: Hailey Bieber, you know, she's unhappy with him. And my

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Speaker 3: contention here is that I don't, well, none of my

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Speaker 3: close mates, but I've certainly heard of men before who

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Speaker 3: have gone and done this sort of stuff and have

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Speaker 3: said to me literally like, what's she going to do?

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Speaker 3: I'm married now? She married into this sort of thing.

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Speaker 1: But for me, like that highlight's a bad marriage.

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Speaker 3: Absolutely.

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Speaker 1: If you're viewing marriage like that, well.

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Speaker 3: Is it a bad marriage or is it a bad institution?

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Speaker 3: That's my contention.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: And the other thing I want to throw back at

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Speaker 3: you here is it please You are a marriage celebrant,

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Speaker 3: and I realize that you're also protecting any future business

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Speaker 3: for yourself because you want to propote promote marriage.

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Speaker 1: There's no bias here. I also do commitment ceremonies. It's fine.

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Speaker 1: My business is safe baby.

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Speaker 4: No, No, But I would I think sure, like maybe

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Speaker 4: there's the institution, but I think you're highly in a

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Speaker 4: bad marriage. I would argue that when you are married

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Speaker 4: with someone, it would be far harder to commit bad

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Speaker 4: behavior which will hurt your partner when it's your wife

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Speaker 4: or your husband's Like that wouldn't wouldn't that be hard

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Speaker 4: to do with you if you've got any sort of contience.

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Speaker 3: See, I don't necessarily think that getting married makes you

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Speaker 3: more in love with someone. Yeah, I mean it doesn't

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Speaker 3: really matter because the other side of it me and again,

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Speaker 3: my partner and I, Sammy, we sort of agree that

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Speaker 3: we're currently we're not getting married, and I feel like

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Speaker 3: the opposite side of this is that when you're not married,

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Speaker 3: the weight of the fact that you know that the

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Speaker 3: relationship could end if one of you treats the other

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Speaker 3: one badly enough and can end on a dime, you

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Speaker 3: don't have to get a divorce, you don't have to

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Speaker 3: go through legal proceedings. That for me leads to us

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Speaker 3: working harder at the current relationship because we haven't got

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Speaker 3: the secure already blanket of just thinking, oh, well, we're married.

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Speaker 3: So I would argue that if we were married, well,

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Speaker 3: you know, you sort of get this vision, oh we're married,

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Speaker 3: and then you're kind of forced to sort of let

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Speaker 3: some things go more because you can't be bothered following

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Speaker 3: them up because it's just going to create this tension

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Speaker 3: and you both think, oh, gee, I don't want to

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Speaker 3: get a divorce. Divorce comes with labels and money and

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Speaker 3: all those other things. So look, that's my contention. I'd

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Speaker 3: love to hear from some other people here. I'm not married,

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Speaker 3: so you know, I can't speak on your behalf. But

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Speaker 3: does being married enable or encourage bad behavior rather than

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Speaker 3: prevent it.

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Speaker 4: Let's go to Adam here on thirteen one oh six

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Speaker 4: y five, Adam what are your thoughts on this, mate?

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Speaker 4: It can a marriage promote that bad behavior?

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Speaker 5: I don't know, man, I.

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Speaker 6: Think there's more at stake in a marriage, so you

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Speaker 6: kind of tend to change your behavior to keep the

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Speaker 6: marriage going. If you've committed into a relationship like that,

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Speaker 6: want it to work and you want it to go

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Speaker 6: to distance. So I'm married, you know, I don't want

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Speaker 6: to sound like goody two shoes, but I feel like

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Speaker 6: I've definitely yeah.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, it kind of goes one way or the other,

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Speaker 3: doesn't That's That's what I'm saying, is you see these

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Speaker 3: people that you know do become a lot more responsible.

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Speaker 3: Have you got kids, Adam.

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Speaker 6: Yeah, I do. That's the other thing is you work

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Speaker 6: towards sols and you kind of thet kids coming to

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Speaker 6: the picture, and you don't want to your kids to

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Speaker 6: grow up in a broken home. It happened the.

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Speaker 3: Kid thing, I can see adding responsibility.

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Speaker 1: That's that's marriage.

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Speaker 3: But I think that's different to marriage because the kid, Yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 3: it's undeniable that you've got a responsibility to the child,

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Speaker 3: not just to your other person, which I think is

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Speaker 3: a heavier weight than marriage. I feel like most married

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Speaker 3: people would say that you and I got had a

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Speaker 3: very good friend, Zaviriel's got married a little while ago.

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Speaker 3: And not to say that zav didn't say his wedding

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Speaker 3: day is a big deal for me. But when I

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Speaker 3: remember knalked out to him on the wedding day and

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Speaker 3: I was like, well, is that a big deal hap

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Speaker 3: And he's like, mate, I've got two kids. Yeah, that's

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Speaker 3: a special day for me. But at the end of

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Speaker 3: the day, we've made a big promise to each other.

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Speaker 1: It was a great day to celebrate.

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Speaker 4: But it was like when we had a child together,

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Speaker 4: A little Teddy, if you're listening, I'm going to give

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Speaker 4: you old enough to listen, little ted Not sure, Alfhie,

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Speaker 4: I mean definitely not.

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Speaker 1: But anyway, there's your two kids. Let's go to bree.

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Speaker 3: What do you reckon just being married enable bad behavior

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Speaker 3: rather than prevent it.

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Speaker 5: A Hi, boys, So.

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Speaker 7: From what I gather on, you guys are talking about

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Speaker 7: as marriage as an institution. I don't think marriage itself

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Speaker 7: is the issue. I think for an already pre existing

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Speaker 7: toxic relationship, marriage is used as a weapon to enable

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Speaker 7: and further enhance the toxic relationship.

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Speaker 3: Marriage it's it's the intention going into the marriage, isn't it. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: And if you've got the wrong intent, then that kind

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Speaker 3: of means that you're going to end up in a

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Speaker 3: situation that's a really good because the intent of marriage

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Speaker 3: is a beautiful one. It's just about it just about

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Speaker 3: whether or not that intend is going to work with

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Speaker 3: that couple in a lot of ways, doesn't it because

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Speaker 3: it might not work. It just might not work for

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Speaker 3: some people.

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Speaker 7: Yeah.

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Speaker 4: But as Breeze said, I think if that if that

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Speaker 4: bad intend is already there marriage to one, something that

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Speaker 4: just sounds like a toxic relationship. If you're the sort

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Speaker 4: of person who's going to go, oh no, you're not

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Speaker 4: going to break up with me, So I'm going to

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Speaker 4: continue that bad behavior.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, whether you're married or not.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, that's just a bad relationship. Yeah. And can I

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Speaker 3: just say, like the other side of this, I think

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Speaker 3: is Brie was saying, you know, it depends on depends

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Speaker 3: on the couple.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: I seem to think that a lot of the time.

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Speaker 3: You know, we're looking at these guys, and you know,

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Speaker 3: stereotypically it is guys, but obviously it can be girls

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Speaker 3: as well. You've got this, Oh, I'm going to use

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Speaker 3: the marriage as a shield for my naughty behavior stuff.

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Speaker 3: But I also think that there's also pressure beforehand for

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Speaker 3: these guys or girls who might be bad boys or

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Speaker 3: bad girls to get married. Like society says that you've

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Speaker 3: been with someone for so long you need to get married.

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Speaker 3: Maybe they don't actually want to get married.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, and by the same token, you've got this thing.

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Speaker 3: So I was talking to Sam about it the other day.

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Speaker 3: She said to me, she was like, I started having

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Speaker 3: this thing recently about getting married to you, where she said,

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Speaker 3: you know, one of the reasons I felt like I'm

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Speaker 3: wanted to get married to you is because I wanted

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Speaker 3: to lock you down. There was this fear that, you know,

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Speaker 3: I needed to have this contract that was going to

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Speaker 3: have you. And she was like, all of a sudden,

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Speaker 3: marriage got pushed away even further for me because I

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Speaker 3: hate that as an intention to try and lock you

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Speaker 3: down as a person, Like that's already a recipe for disaster.

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Speaker 3: If you're married in someone to stop them from being free,

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Speaker 3: it's not going to be a healthy marriage.

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Speaker 1: But did you changed that word in slowly?

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Speaker 4: Just I have a teammate for the rest of your

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Speaker 4: life and I don't even know if teammates, right, but

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Speaker 4: lock you down is there that has connotations of oppressing someone.

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Speaker 4: That's right, having a teammate though, for I love that word. Now,

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Speaker 4: Oh I am going to get married, but that's going

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Speaker 4: to get married.

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Speaker 3: That's a different intention to locking someone down.

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Speaker 1: Oh sure.

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Speaker 4: And if you're if your intention to get married is

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Speaker 4: peer pressure from others and I want to lock you down, Yeah,

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Speaker 4: you're you're in a bad relationship their intentions again regards

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Speaker 4: to you get married or not.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, well, and on.

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Speaker 3: Let's go to father that. Yeah, we're on you. If

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Speaker 3: we're talking about whether or not being married enables rather

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Speaker 3: than prevents, bad behavior, what do you reckon?

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Speaker 5: I reckon it promotes kind of bad behavior. Like we've

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Speaker 5: been in situation where my husband will be he's been

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Speaker 5: recently got invited to a barbecue at one of his

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Speaker 5: friends of a friend's place. He doesn't really like the guy.

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Speaker 5: So instead of straight up saying, look, we've got to

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Speaker 5: be somewhere or we've got somewhere else, he'll be like, oh,

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Speaker 5: souther've got by toothpaste, so I'm going to go cold

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Speaker 5: with her on Saturday. So I get made that a

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Speaker 5: little like that idiot. So basically. Yeah, I think the

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Speaker 5: scapegoat sort of thing happens in the marriage as well.

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Speaker 5: It's not just all serious, I reckon.

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Speaker 3: They use us to, Oh, you've got the wife, your

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Speaker 3: wife is a scapeguy. Yeah right, yeah, I can understand that.

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Speaker 3: I'm going to be honest. You mentioned and toothpasting in

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Speaker 3: there somewhere, and that didn't make any sense to me.

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Speaker 3: But the scapegoat point was strong.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, bit off topic, but no interesting point all the same,

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Speaker 4: far but interesting point.

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Speaker 1: All the more of the boys on the Full Show podcast.

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Speaker 5: You know you want to