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Speaker 1: Hello, Christian O'Connell Show podcast.

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Speaker 2: Hey, this is Christian from the Breakfast Show. Thank you

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Speaker 2: very much for downloading this a little mini podcast. This

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Speaker 2: one is all about your amazing stories every single week

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Speaker 2: on the show on three topic Tuesday.

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Speaker 3: As you listen to list if you.

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Speaker 2: Think I've got a story, actually but they did it

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Speaker 2: last year or this is ages ago, doesn't matter. As

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Speaker 2: always say, nothing we ever talk about on the show

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Speaker 2: is ever left completely dead. You can pick it up

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Speaker 2: whenever you want. We killed it late La party. You

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Speaker 2: can have your story on air. Email me Christian at

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Speaker 2: Christian O'Connell dot com dot au on with your stories.

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Speaker 2: We're dedicating three topic Tuesday to Dad's It's Dad's week

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Speaker 2: on the show, so we're looking for stories about dad meltdowns,

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Speaker 2: you know, when your dad just lost it sometimes as

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Speaker 2: speak as of dad. My sound with two teenage daughters,

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Speaker 2: when dads go on holiday, they can become triggered activated.

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Speaker 2: So we're looking for your stories about dads on holiday.

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Speaker 2: And was your dad your coach, Christian, My dad was

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Speaker 2: the coach, but he was as shifty as anything. We

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Speaker 2: were having a how will run of losing every game.

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Speaker 2: So my dad decided because they had player registration cards

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Speaker 2: even though we were clearly under thirteens. My dad decided

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Speaker 2: that we need a bit more firepower in the forwards

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Speaker 2: and decided to actually draft in some big fifteen and

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Speaker 2: sixteen year olds who some of them had beards and.

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Speaker 3: Were huge like the local psychos.

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Speaker 2: My dad went to the office works and brought his

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Speaker 2: own laminator craft nights and would make his own fake

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Speaker 2: registration cards. He would be up all night cutting in,

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Speaker 2: faking passport photos and then re laminating Christian.

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Speaker 3: It was seamless forgery operation. He was running the talented

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Speaker 3: mister Ripleys.

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Speaker 2: He would then have to pull aside our massive six

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Speaker 2: foot hard note have been drafted him for that game,

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Speaker 2: tell him the name he was playing under, and ask

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Speaker 2: him to memorize the dating bath on the faked card.

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Speaker 3: Oh, Gareth, that's.

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Speaker 2: My favorite one so far. Gareth, that is extraordinary. Okay,

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Speaker 2: let's go to man. He's so funny this week. That's

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Speaker 2: good to Mick Dad on holiday stories from Mick here, Yeah, Hew,

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Speaker 2: you go, I'm good, Mix.

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Speaker 3: So what's your story about your dad on holiday?

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Speaker 4: My late father, Fred was somewhat of American. We're on

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Speaker 4: holidays at nineteen to seventy eight. We're in a large

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Speaker 4: variety store and there was a display stand of extra

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Speaker 4: loud alarm clocks. He wound up and set the alarm clocks,

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Speaker 4: about twenty of them for the same time, and then

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Speaker 4: we just walked away and the buggers all went off

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Speaker 4: at the same time with the hell of a row,

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Speaker 4: and everybody thought the fire alarms had gone off. The

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Speaker 4: store was evacuated and well panic ensured and we left

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Speaker 4: the store and my mom decided that we will go

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Speaker 4: somewhere else.

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Speaker 3: Because of the alarm clock scandal.

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Speaker 2: That's amazing, all right, Mick, thank you very much for

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Speaker 2: telling us about the late great Fred.

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Speaker 5: No worries.

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Speaker 3: Thanks man. Okay, bye, Megan, Welcome to the show.

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Speaker 5: Your dad was your coach yes basketball.

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Speaker 6: So we were doing some pre se in training, running

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Speaker 6: up hills and things like that to get fit for

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Speaker 6: the season coming up. And I started running up the

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Speaker 6: hill and I was getting some pains in my stomach,

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Speaker 6: and I was like, oh, this isn't good. So I

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Speaker 6: kept running and then I stopped and I sort of

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Speaker 6: keeled over it, and all I could hear was at

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Speaker 6: the bottom of the hill my dad going get up.

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Speaker 5: Keep running, you can do it, don't give up, Come on, mags.

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Speaker 6: All that sort of stuff. I sort of turned around, okay, yeah,

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Speaker 6: you know the wave. I kept going, kept running up

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Speaker 6: the hill, and then over I went. I'm like, oh, no,

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Speaker 6: I can't. And anyway, so Dad goes, oh, I could

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Speaker 6: hear him from the bottom, come on, come down, you know,

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Speaker 6: get down to the bottom, and I thought, I did

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Speaker 6: the walk of shame back down the down the hill

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Speaker 6: as ever, all the girls are running past me, and

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Speaker 6: he's said, just sit down for the rest of training,

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Speaker 6: and just you know, get a drink. You know, this,

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Speaker 6: that and the other. And then he got in the

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Speaker 6: car on the way home, he's like, you know, you've

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Speaker 6: got to push through these things. Was probably just the stitch.

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Speaker 6: You've got to, you know, fight through that, so you

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Speaker 6: want to get fitter. Anyway, to cut a long story short,

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Speaker 6: an hour later, I was in having an emergency surgery

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Speaker 6: for a rupture appendix. And then later on that day

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Speaker 6: that the doctors came in and said, you know, that

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Speaker 6: was really close call, you know, and Dad, oh, yes,

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Speaker 6: that's why it was really important. We got her help

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Speaker 6: in order to the doctor, and you know, we really

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Speaker 6: quickly because we knew yes.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, it's the right of the dad.

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Speaker 6: Yeah exactly, you know, worry about keeling over, he was

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Speaker 6: just yet. That's well, we brought it to the doctor Megan.

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Speaker 3: Great story. Thank you very much.

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Speaker 1: Mate, Thank you bye, Christian The Christian O'Connell show podcast, James,

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Speaker 1: thanks for calling the show and what's uh your dad

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Speaker 1: on holiday?

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Speaker 3: Story?

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Speaker 7: So my dad and my mum, so our whole family

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Speaker 7: went on six week tour all over but we started

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Speaker 7: England and we went as far as Italy, which is

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Speaker 7: where my sister was living at the time, to visit her.

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Speaker 7: Him and mum pay for pretty much the whole trip,

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Speaker 7: and was a little bit before we even got off,

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Speaker 7: I think, kind of disillusioned with how much it was

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Speaker 7: going to cost with European kind of conversion rate. Yeah,

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Speaker 7: so we got on the EUIL and use that a lot,

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Speaker 7: and basically we made a clerical error at one of

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Speaker 7: the Italian stations.

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Speaker 2: There are nightmatters, honestly, people listen to this night. France

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Speaker 2: and Italy are the worse. It's so confusing and they

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Speaker 2: don't want to help you whatsoever. It's a nightmare.

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Speaker 7: So we made a mistake and the conductor picked up

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Speaker 7: on it straight away. Mind you, we hadn't had any

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Speaker 7: problem in like seven other countries in Europe. But then

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Speaker 7: we got there and the guy's like, okay, it's going

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Speaker 7: to be one hundred euro fine and Dad's like, oh what,

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Speaker 7: and then he's like per person and my dad just.

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Speaker 2: Wow, I'm telling it now, mate. He would have made

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Speaker 2: up on the spot, right, there's no way that's legal.

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Speaker 2: They just made everything up. Was going along with Italy.

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Speaker 2: It's unbelieva. It's a home with the mafia.

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Speaker 7: Each It's just the whole thing just snowballed so bad.

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Speaker 7: And my dad basically tubbled him where to go like

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Speaker 7: the guy. The guy no, he didn't speak it. That

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Speaker 7: was the funniest thing. It was just like lost in translation.

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Speaker 7: He won that bout until the next stay. We rolled

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Speaker 7: up and to armed federal police. The carabinieri got on

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Speaker 7: with machine guns. Have a like you off the train

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Speaker 7: and we were like, oh, okay, dad's arrested. This has

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Speaker 7: gone really really sideways through.

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Speaker 3: A clerical error.

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Speaker 4: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, and your dad's still in the Italian prison a

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Speaker 3: life sentence.

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Speaker 8: Yeah. We visited him once a year.

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Speaker 2: Oh, James, what an epic story. That is so great, James,

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Speaker 2: thank you very much. All Right, Dona, what's your story

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Speaker 2: for us?

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Speaker 9: My dad wasn't the coach who was the referee, but

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Speaker 9: he thought he was coaching me while he was While

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Speaker 9: he was refereeing, I was a teenager playing touch football

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Speaker 9: and he continually just tried to tell me what to

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Speaker 9: do throughout the game. And I turned to one of

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Speaker 9: the other girls and I said, I really wish you'd

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Speaker 9: stop doing that. And he blew the whistle, stopped the

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Speaker 9: game and red carded me and sent me off.

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Speaker 3: Wow, that's a hardcore dad, isn't he. Yes tolerance, What

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Speaker 3: was the what was the infringement? Disrespect?

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Speaker 9: Back now?

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Speaker 10: Bahing?

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Speaker 9: You all back chatting talking to him? Yeah, back chatting

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Speaker 9: my dad?

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Speaker 3: All right, Donna, thank you very much for sharing that.

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Speaker 9: Thanks guy.

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Speaker 3: Paula. We've got a story from Paula about a dad

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Speaker 3: on holiday.

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Speaker 6: This was my kid's dad. We were on holidays.

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Speaker 10: Someone who's his brush?

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Speaker 11: And he said, in the room for the rest of

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Speaker 11: the time, stalking about.

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Speaker 3: It, someone just what hair brush? A hair brush? What

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Speaker 3: kind of special hairbrush was it?

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Speaker 11: He did have a special hairbrush, but.

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Speaker 3: What special hair brush? Going to tell me more?

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Speaker 2: About the special hair brush you've got me now, really

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Speaker 2: nice hair.

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Speaker 6: It was really nice hair. But he just wigged out

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Speaker 6: because someone want to take me brush.

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Speaker 10: And that was the end.

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Speaker 3: I'm not going side seeing today. No, no, you can

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Speaker 3: go and see that.

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Speaker 2: Hair like this crazy in the high humidity here on holiday. Wow,

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Speaker 2: that's insane, all right, Paula, thank you very much. You

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Speaker 2: call Jason. You've got a dad meltdown story for us.

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Speaker 5: Off you go tell the years ago.

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Speaker 11: Me and my brother and a mate we built a

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Speaker 11: bin stereo. We then wheeled it inside, turned it up

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Speaker 11: to come told us turn that off stuff, it's bedtime.

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Speaker 11: We decided it's a better idea to turn it up.

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Speaker 11: He comes flying out of his room and double karate

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Speaker 11: chop to his mate.

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Speaker 3: What's your double karate chop?

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Speaker 2: What's he a black belt and karate or just seen

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Speaker 2: a kind of Bruce Lee movies and thought you just

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Speaker 2: do it like that.

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Speaker 11: I've never seen do a karate top of his life.

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Speaker 2: All since my other room. My mate was all right, eventually,

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Speaker 2: you know once should revive it. Okay, Jason, and we've

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Speaker 2: gone too far.

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Speaker 5: Christian Christian O'Connell show.

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Speaker 3: What have you got on these topics. What have you

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Speaker 3: been hit by?

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Speaker 2: Stuff you've confiscated and lies you told to get in

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Speaker 2: someone Morley, Welcome to the show.

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Speaker 3: How old are your money?

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Speaker 12: I'm thirteen?

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Speaker 3: And which topic you're calling us about? The three topic Tuesday.

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Speaker 12: Stuff I had confiscated. The backstory is that my parents

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Speaker 12: I was going to get an iPod and my parents

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Speaker 12: had an argument over what age I would get it.

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Speaker 12: My dad said ten and my mom said nine, and

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Speaker 12: then she went and got an iPod for Christmas, and

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Speaker 12: then my dad confiscated it until turned ten for an

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Speaker 12: entire year.

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Speaker 3: Who is your dad the grinch?

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Speaker 2: You confiscate a little girl's toy on Christmas Day?

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Speaker 3: What's up with dad here?

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Speaker 2: I hate to throw another dad under the bus, but

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Speaker 2: this is too much, Molly.

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Speaker 3: His dad there in the background here is Yes, what

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Speaker 3: you will have one phone called a day like you're

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Speaker 3: in prison. After this phone call, the phone goes straight

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Speaker 3: back in the buck. Yeah, calling him back?

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Speaker 2: All right, Molly, Thank you very much and cool cool anytime.

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Speaker 2: Say hi to Grench Dad. Thank you taking some more

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Speaker 2: of your brilliant stories. Now three topic choos.

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Speaker 3: Day, Jane.

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Speaker 2: Hello everyone, Hey Jane, welcome to the show. And I

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Speaker 2: understand this is a story about being hit by something.

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Speaker 10: What have you been hit by a few years ago

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Speaker 10: or many years ago? Both my children were christened, and

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Speaker 10: after we went into the back to filling the paperwork,

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Speaker 10: and after we left we walked out the back door.

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Speaker 10: One of the older boys had left the six foot cross,

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Speaker 10: which is a timber handle and brass cross, and it

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Speaker 10: slipped down and whacked me out at the corner of it,

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Speaker 10: whacked me on the top of their head and gave

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Speaker 10: me a concussion.

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Speaker 3: You mean you mean the crucifix. Yes, you chine six

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Speaker 3: foot cross.

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Speaker 10: The huge, huge, solid scene.

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Speaker 5: What a thing to see.

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Speaker 3: So I'm being flattened by cruisifix.

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Speaker 10: Yeah no, no, actually I physically had stars, you know,

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Speaker 10: like when you see the cardoons and they had theirs

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Speaker 10: and all that. Yeah, yeah, I had the stars and whatnot.

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Speaker 10: And to this day friends of mine that were there,

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Speaker 10: they laughed about it. I actually greatened every time and

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Speaker 10: think about it because it hurt. It was unbelievable.

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Speaker 3: That's an amazing story.

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Speaker 5: Jane.

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Speaker 3: Jane, thank you very much to give us a call

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Speaker 3: today and sharing that with us.

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Speaker 10: Take care, mate, no worries, Thanks for everything.

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Speaker 3: Bye bye, bye bye. Jane.

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Speaker 13: Justin, get out there, Christian, there going.

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Speaker 3: What's your story for us this morning? Justin, Well, it

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Speaker 3: wasn't just a one of them.

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Speaker 8: It was more like a thinking over about ten years.

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Speaker 8: I told my clubs that I played for some Fretty

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Speaker 8: Club and Markey's and used to just get get in

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Speaker 8: as my own name.

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Speaker 3: So did you look like anyone? Do you like Herdie

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Speaker 3: or Lloydy? Did you look like one of the players, No,

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Speaker 3: I look.

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Speaker 13: Like nothing like them, just tands tall and that was

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Speaker 13: about in a bit.

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Speaker 14: Of extra confidence.

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Speaker 7: So did you say Marquees as well?

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Speaker 3: Justin?

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Speaker 7: Look at the races? Yeah, that was actually I have

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Speaker 7: to say I was getting a bit older and I

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Speaker 7: said I was an assistant coach.

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Speaker 3: And now you say you're Bruce mcavenni. Yeah, you're just

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Speaker 3: a commentator.

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Speaker 6: That's give me my next step for Dennis medicine.

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Speaker 3: Justin. That's a great one. Thank you very much.

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Speaker 5: She called the Christian o'cmmer show podcast.

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Speaker 2: Every week on the show, we do something called three

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Speaker 2: Topic Tuesday, so we do three phone ins at the

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Speaker 2: same time, and you're the star with all your stories.

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Speaker 2: So away pets yesterday, how to take the little dog

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Speaker 2: my daughter's little toy poodle to the vets. Chucked him

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Speaker 2: in the animal carrier, but in the cart drove to

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Speaker 2: the Vets. As I'm carrying him from the car to

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Speaker 2: the vets, I think for a small poodle, he's way heavy.

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Speaker 2: He's only one with like four and alf quinos. This

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Speaker 2: feels really heavy. Maybe I haven't carried this animal carrier

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Speaker 2: in a while. And he's wabbling around in there quite

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Speaker 2: a lot as well as I'm looking to because I

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Speaker 2: placed the animal carrier down on the ground. I look

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Speaker 2: back when I'm on the phone, Vets going, yet we're here,

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Speaker 2: that you just give them the dog's name. Reggie's here,

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Speaker 2: cook back, and they.

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Speaker 3: See the cat. It's in the carrier as well, mucking around.

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Speaker 3: I'm thinking, oh my god.

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Speaker 2: There's four eyes in there, and the cat is like

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Speaker 2: he's got his paws on the little poodles. But he's going,

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Speaker 2: what the hell, there's nothing wrong with me, it's him.

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Speaker 3: I feel fine. Oh my god, I've never been better,

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Speaker 3: never been better, wife. No, this is awful. Take me back,

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Speaker 3: Take me back. The vet comes out and there's two

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Speaker 3: animals in there. Oh yeah, one of them. I didn't know.

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Speaker 4: He went.

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Speaker 2: He looks at me like, what on this one you

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Speaker 2: need to take a look at? He goes, what do

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Speaker 2: you want me to do? The cat went, he's gonna

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Speaker 2: have to come in as well. I thought, I can't

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Speaker 2: hang on to out here half an hour wrestling with

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Speaker 2: an angry, scared cat, so we had to take them in.

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Speaker 3: He goes, do you want me to have a look

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Speaker 3: at the cat as well?

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Speaker 1: No?

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Speaker 3: No, no, the cat's absolutely funny.

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Speaker 2: So stowaway pets, where did you discover one of your

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Speaker 2: pets where they weren't meant to be?

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Speaker 3: Mentioned this?

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Speaker 2: Yesterday on the show, we had one of your stories

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Speaker 2: about something that got stolen, and I was talking about

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Speaker 2: how we got burgled years ago, a couple of months

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Speaker 2: before we got married. We didn't have a lot of money,

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Speaker 2: so much so that they didn't take my credit card.

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Speaker 2: They'd been through my credit card statements. They left behind

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Speaker 2: my credit card. They took everything else we had. We

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Speaker 2: were flat, stoney broke, and they left behind the credit cards?

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Speaker 2: What didn't get stolen? Why did they leave behind? And

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Speaker 2: then looking for some good stories on this, I think

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Speaker 2: if you remember your time at school, the one teacher

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Speaker 2: who always stands out is the sports teacher. They're almost

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Speaker 2: like a kind of mythical demigod, aren't they. They stand

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Speaker 2: on a mount Rushmore. There's this the big profile of

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Speaker 2: a sports teacher in terms of greatest teachers. You remember

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Speaker 2: some of the stories I've already seen about my sports teacher, Christian,

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Speaker 2: my sports teacher. I told my sports teacher I did

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Speaker 2: archery as a hobby. He got very excited told me

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Speaker 2: to bring my bow in the next day. He then

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Speaker 2: set up an improvised target round the back, round the

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Speaker 2: back of the bike sheds and let kids have a

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Speaker 2: go on my arrow. We split three chairs in half.

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Speaker 2: A teacher came flying out to ask what on earth

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Speaker 2: it was doing. The sports teacher pointed at me and

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Speaker 2: blamed it on me, and I got a attention. Don't

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Speaker 2: ever bring that bowe in again, Christian, Me and seven

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Speaker 2: of the kids were in atention when our rugby teacher

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Speaker 2: came flying in shouted at the supervising teacher, what are

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Speaker 2: you doing this? Players have got a cup game tomorrow. Boys,

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Speaker 2: grab your bags, cat change right now and get out

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Speaker 2: on the pitch. My school was very sports focused because

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Speaker 2: can we beat the rival primary school in our foot final.

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Speaker 2: Our sports teacher crammed us in his car after the

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Speaker 2: game seven of us in illegally in a small car.

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Speaker 3: He then drove to.

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Speaker 2: School, drove straight onto the sports pitch, around the sports

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Speaker 2: field with me standing on the front scene up through

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Speaker 2: the sun roof holding the trophy out.

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Speaker 3: It was pouring in rain.

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Speaker 5: The Christian O'Connell Show Podcast.

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Speaker 3: Three, Tubic Tuesday.

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Speaker 2: Then we're looking for your stories about your psycho sports teacher,

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Speaker 2: stowaway pets. Where did you find a pet where it

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Speaker 2: wasn't meant to be? And also what didn't get stolen?

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Speaker 2: I was saying, hell yesterday evening, we got burgled years

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Speaker 2: ago before my wife and I got married, as webout,

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Speaker 2: six weeks before the wedding, and we were flat broke.

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Speaker 2: They went through my credit card statements, we let how

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Speaker 2: broke was, and they left my credit card. What didn't

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Speaker 2: get stolen? Let's take some calls right now on The

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Speaker 2: Christian O'Connell Show.

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Speaker 14: Larry, how are you guys?

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Speaker 3: I'm good, Larry, Off you go, what's your story?

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Speaker 5: Buddy?

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Speaker 14: Okay Beck in the eighties, he's still work at a

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Speaker 14: service station and one morning I had this guy come

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Speaker 14: in and you want to me Chicky His order at

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Speaker 14: the bonnet. So I popped up the bonnet. As I've

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Speaker 14: popped up the bone, this jets flung at me, flung

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Speaker 14: up on the bonnet, flung back on the engine, flung

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Speaker 14: across the road, raced across the road to onto the

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Speaker 14: other side, raced over the fence and just disappeared. Looked

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Speaker 14: at the I've looked at the guy behind the steering rule.

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Speaker 14: He's looking at me like going towards the hell. He

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Speaker 14: goes to me in soach disappointment voice.

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Speaker 3: Well, they go to the family pit and the cat

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Speaker 3: under the bonnet.

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Speaker 14: Yeah, o the bonnet, I'll be injured.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, that is increble. I'll tell you what, sir, you

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Speaker 2: missed a career as a racing horse racing commentator. The

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Speaker 2: way you commentated on that cat getting out there, that

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Speaker 2: was first class. It was amazing to hear.

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Speaker 3: Did you get the cat back?

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Speaker 4: No?

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Speaker 14: No, the cat just disappeared. He hanged around for about

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Speaker 14: half an hour and looked up in the streets and everywhere.

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Speaker 14: Good find it.

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Speaker 3: Larry would a laugh. You got there? Ain't chesty, Cob?

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Speaker 3: What do you smoke? A hundred a day?

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Speaker 10: An hour?

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Speaker 3: And then Larry, thank you very much for calling him

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Speaker 3: brilliant story. Bye bye, but we got here Joe.

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Speaker 13: Gooday, guys. My brother about twenty years ago was driving

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Speaker 13: to his local TA B about a seven or eight

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Speaker 13: kilometer trip, was getting bipped and abused and people flashing

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Speaker 13: their headlights and he couldn't figure out why he thought

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Speaker 13: he was doing something wrong. When he pulled up at

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Speaker 13: his local TA B, he heard his cat and he

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Speaker 13: owing for a dear life's His pet cat climbed on

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Speaker 13: the roof and was hanging on for about eight kilometers

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Speaker 13: and was hanging on to the roof facts outside the

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Speaker 13: local TA.

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Speaker 3: B seven to eight k That cat had been up

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Speaker 3: there hanging on.

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Speaker 13: To the roofracts. Was one of the funniest things we'd

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Speaker 13: ever heard. And we just thought it was amazing that

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Speaker 13: the cat actually survived and made to hang on.

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Speaker 3: Joe, thank you very much your story.

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Speaker 13: No worries all rights.

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Speaker 3: Steven, How are you? I'm good, Steves. You've got a

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Speaker 3: story about your sports teacher.

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Speaker 8: Yeah, he split his lip using a pair of numb

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Speaker 8: chucks in front of the class.

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Speaker 3: What was he doing with a pair of numb chucks?

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Speaker 8: Well, they were mine. I I got to chatting with

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Speaker 8: him one day, and I happened to mention that I

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Speaker 8: did ninja it, so he didn't believe me. So I

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Speaker 8: brought a pair of numbchucks to school. He forced me

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Speaker 8: to do a demonstration. I did, okay, he took them

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Speaker 8: off me, kick himself in the face and split his lips,

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Speaker 8: and then I got to tension and my numb trucks

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Speaker 8: were confiscated, which they definitely should have been, and I

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Speaker 8: never got them back.

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Speaker 2: Did you also have the ninja throwing stars as well

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Speaker 2: as Barth of your arsenal of weapons.

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Speaker 3: That you've had?

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Speaker 13: No?

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Speaker 3: No, not that cool, Steven. That's a great story. Thank

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Speaker 3: you very much for culus up mate. Really funny.

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Speaker 5: The Christian O'Connell show podcast