1 00:00:03,320 --> 00:00:06,960 Speaker 1: It's the Happy Families podcast. It's the podcast for the 2 00:00:07,040 --> 00:00:10,000 Speaker 1: time poor parent who just wants answers. 3 00:00:10,080 --> 00:00:12,160 Speaker 2: Now, we're going to have a better time in Holland 4 00:00:12,480 --> 00:00:15,800 Speaker 2: if we remove judgment and just accept that it just is. 5 00:00:16,200 --> 00:00:19,439 Speaker 1: And now here's the stars of our show, my mom 6 00:00:19,480 --> 00:00:20,279 Speaker 1: and dad. No. 7 00:00:20,520 --> 00:00:23,639 Speaker 2: Welcome to Monday. I love the start of a new week, 8 00:00:23,680 --> 00:00:27,320 Speaker 2: fresh start. Everyone's happy, everyone's excited. Everyone's got their uniforms 9 00:00:27,360 --> 00:00:30,080 Speaker 2: ready if they're going to school. How do you know, 10 00:00:30,360 --> 00:00:32,600 Speaker 2: well that half the nation you checked, half the nation. 11 00:00:33,000 --> 00:00:35,360 Speaker 2: Half the nation's in lockdown? And who knows where our 12 00:00:35,479 --> 00:00:39,320 Speaker 2: kids are up to? Gooday? This is Justin Coulson, the 13 00:00:39,640 --> 00:00:42,120 Speaker 2: founder of Happy Families dot com dot a you, and 14 00:00:42,360 --> 00:00:45,879 Speaker 2: author of six books about how to make families happy. 15 00:00:46,479 --> 00:00:49,680 Speaker 2: And I'm here with Kylie mum to our six daughters. 16 00:00:50,000 --> 00:00:52,600 Speaker 3: Who does know that all the children have their uniforms today? 17 00:00:52,720 --> 00:00:56,160 Speaker 2: Because your morning begins the night before. It's the secret 18 00:00:56,160 --> 00:00:58,600 Speaker 2: to family's success in the mornings. We've discovered this and 19 00:00:59,560 --> 00:01:01,520 Speaker 2: shoes organized jumpers. 20 00:01:01,760 --> 00:01:04,000 Speaker 3: It's really not a well kept secret. My honey. 21 00:01:04,200 --> 00:01:06,920 Speaker 2: The jumpers don't match the uniform as well as they 22 00:01:07,080 --> 00:01:09,240 Speaker 2: used to because how many how many jumpers have we 23 00:01:09,280 --> 00:01:11,600 Speaker 2: lost this year with. 24 00:01:11,760 --> 00:01:14,400 Speaker 3: Oh, it's only one child and she's lost three three. 25 00:01:14,680 --> 00:01:17,480 Speaker 2: Yeah, notice that she hasn't lost any of her non 26 00:01:17,520 --> 00:01:18,200 Speaker 2: snap daggers. 27 00:01:19,080 --> 00:01:21,960 Speaker 3: Well, that's easy. Pick the pink jumper out. 28 00:01:21,760 --> 00:01:26,000 Speaker 2: At the blue uniform. That's right. Hey, Just recently I 29 00:01:26,000 --> 00:01:28,480 Speaker 2: came across a poem. I've stumbled across it a number 30 00:01:28,480 --> 00:01:31,119 Speaker 2: of times, but came across it again not too long ago, 31 00:01:31,200 --> 00:01:32,560 Speaker 2: and I just love it. 32 00:01:32,959 --> 00:01:33,080 Speaker 4: Well. 33 00:01:33,120 --> 00:01:34,640 Speaker 3: The other night you actually came and shared it with 34 00:01:34,680 --> 00:01:37,560 Speaker 3: me after sharing it in your webinar, and I really 35 00:01:37,600 --> 00:01:41,080 Speaker 3: loved it the feelings that had evoked firstly, but secondly 36 00:01:41,200 --> 00:01:43,560 Speaker 3: it married up beautifully with some thoughts that I was having. 37 00:01:43,640 --> 00:01:44,840 Speaker 3: So why don't you share it with everyone and we 38 00:01:44,840 --> 00:01:45,480 Speaker 3: can talk about it. 39 00:01:45,560 --> 00:01:47,760 Speaker 2: Sure. It's a palem called Welcome to Holland by Emily 40 00:01:47,760 --> 00:01:50,200 Speaker 2: Pearl Kingsley. It's from nineteen eighty seven. It's kind of 41 00:01:50,240 --> 00:01:53,560 Speaker 2: oldish and it says this. I'm often asked to describe 42 00:01:53,600 --> 00:01:56,360 Speaker 2: the experience of raising a child with a disability, to 43 00:01:56,360 --> 00:01:58,560 Speaker 2: try to help people who have not shared that unique 44 00:01:58,600 --> 00:02:02,480 Speaker 2: experience to understand it and how it would feel. It's 45 00:02:02,560 --> 00:02:04,840 Speaker 2: like this, when you're going to have a baby, It's 46 00:02:04,880 --> 00:02:08,880 Speaker 2: like planning a fabulous vacation trip to Italy. You buy 47 00:02:08,919 --> 00:02:11,560 Speaker 2: a bunch of guidebooks and make your wonderful plans. The Colosseum, 48 00:02:11,600 --> 00:02:14,960 Speaker 2: the Michelangelo David, the gondolas in Venice. You may learn 49 00:02:15,000 --> 00:02:18,880 Speaker 2: some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting. After 50 00:02:18,919 --> 00:02:21,519 Speaker 2: months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives, you pack 51 00:02:21,520 --> 00:02:23,920 Speaker 2: your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the 52 00:02:23,919 --> 00:02:29,359 Speaker 2: plane lands, the stewardess comes in and says, welcome to Holland. Holland. 53 00:02:29,560 --> 00:02:31,480 Speaker 2: You say, what do you mean Holland. I signed up 54 00:02:31,480 --> 00:02:33,560 Speaker 2: for Italy. I'm supposed to be in Italy all my life. 55 00:02:33,600 --> 00:02:36,160 Speaker 2: I've dreamed of going to Italy. But there's been a 56 00:02:36,240 --> 00:02:39,160 Speaker 2: change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland, and 57 00:02:39,200 --> 00:02:42,720 Speaker 2: there you must stay. The important thing is that they 58 00:02:42,720 --> 00:02:45,600 Speaker 2: haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place full 59 00:02:45,600 --> 00:02:49,720 Speaker 2: of pestilence, faminine disease. It's just a different place. So 60 00:02:49,800 --> 00:02:52,040 Speaker 2: you must go out and buy new guidebooks, and you 61 00:02:52,120 --> 00:02:54,519 Speaker 2: must learn a whole new language, and you will meet 62 00:02:54,520 --> 00:02:57,160 Speaker 2: a whole new group of people you would never have met. 63 00:02:57,960 --> 00:03:01,959 Speaker 2: It's just a different place. It's slower pace than Italy, 64 00:03:02,040 --> 00:03:04,600 Speaker 2: less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for 65 00:03:04,600 --> 00:03:06,480 Speaker 2: a while and you catch your breath, you look around 66 00:03:06,480 --> 00:03:09,520 Speaker 2: and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills, and 67 00:03:09,560 --> 00:03:14,760 Speaker 2: Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts. But everyone you 68 00:03:14,800 --> 00:03:16,639 Speaker 2: know is busy coming and going from Italy, and they're 69 00:03:16,680 --> 00:03:18,640 Speaker 2: all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. 70 00:03:18,840 --> 00:03:21,799 Speaker 2: And for the rest of your life you will say, yes, 71 00:03:22,560 --> 00:03:25,160 Speaker 2: that's where I was supposed to go, That's what I 72 00:03:25,200 --> 00:03:28,399 Speaker 2: had planned, And the pain of that will never ever 73 00:03:28,760 --> 00:03:32,200 Speaker 2: ever go away, because the loss of that dream is 74 00:03:32,240 --> 00:03:36,160 Speaker 2: a very very significant loss. But if you spend your 75 00:03:36,160 --> 00:03:37,960 Speaker 2: life mourning the fact that you didn't get to go 76 00:03:38,000 --> 00:03:41,360 Speaker 2: to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the 77 00:03:41,440 --> 00:03:46,600 Speaker 2: very special, the very lovely things about Holland. 78 00:03:47,000 --> 00:03:50,400 Speaker 3: I love the imagery. I'm all about imagery. I love 79 00:03:50,440 --> 00:03:54,000 Speaker 3: what it evokes and the scenes that I see. And 80 00:03:54,120 --> 00:03:58,120 Speaker 3: yet I know that this poem was written specifically for parents. 81 00:03:58,720 --> 00:04:01,040 Speaker 2: Who are raising children with addition needs, but. 82 00:04:01,040 --> 00:04:04,000 Speaker 3: I think that this can apply to just about any 83 00:04:04,480 --> 00:04:06,960 Speaker 3: area of our lives where we find ourselves in a 84 00:04:07,000 --> 00:04:08,560 Speaker 3: place that's not what. 85 00:04:08,440 --> 00:04:11,440 Speaker 2: We expected, which is most of life right, that's right. 86 00:04:11,440 --> 00:04:13,360 Speaker 3: Whether it is you know, you get married and you 87 00:04:13,400 --> 00:04:16,040 Speaker 3: think that life's going to be this amazing honeymoon phase 88 00:04:16,160 --> 00:04:18,600 Speaker 3: forever and you find out very quickly it's not. 89 00:04:18,960 --> 00:04:29,240 Speaker 2: Or what are you saying we did, Let's not go there, okay, or. 90 00:04:29,760 --> 00:04:32,080 Speaker 3: As your children get older, they start making decisions that 91 00:04:32,640 --> 00:04:35,000 Speaker 3: you know don't work with your plan. I don't know 92 00:04:35,040 --> 00:04:36,160 Speaker 3: if it's just a girl thing. 93 00:04:36,279 --> 00:04:38,359 Speaker 2: They choose their own path, and you're thinking, hang on, 94 00:04:38,360 --> 00:04:39,599 Speaker 2: but this is what I wanted for you, and I 95 00:04:39,600 --> 00:04:41,159 Speaker 2: know what's best for you. And I've been watching you 96 00:04:41,200 --> 00:04:44,279 Speaker 2: and I understand you. And now you're choosing a different path. 97 00:04:44,320 --> 00:04:47,080 Speaker 3: What are you doing? Yeah? And I don't know if 98 00:04:47,120 --> 00:04:49,080 Speaker 3: it's just a girl thing or whether guys do this 99 00:04:49,160 --> 00:04:52,359 Speaker 3: as well. But I remember as a you know, a 100 00:04:52,360 --> 00:04:54,040 Speaker 3: ten year old and a twelve year old, I kind 101 00:04:54,040 --> 00:04:55,960 Speaker 3: of mapped out my whole life. I knew what my 102 00:04:56,000 --> 00:04:58,320 Speaker 3: house was going to look like, and how many bedrooms 103 00:04:58,360 --> 00:04:59,920 Speaker 3: I was going to have, and what kind of car 104 00:05:00,120 --> 00:05:02,400 Speaker 3: I was going to drive, and what my husband was 105 00:05:02,440 --> 00:05:04,000 Speaker 3: going to look like. You didn't look like him. 106 00:05:04,120 --> 00:05:04,360 Speaker 4: Wow. 107 00:05:04,960 --> 00:05:08,000 Speaker 3: I think that girls and nately we plan and. 108 00:05:08,680 --> 00:05:12,000 Speaker 2: I was always pretty planful as well build the future. Yeah, yeah, 109 00:05:12,440 --> 00:05:15,159 Speaker 2: I think so. But this Welcome to Holland not just 110 00:05:15,160 --> 00:05:16,960 Speaker 2: about having a child with additional needs, but as a 111 00:05:17,040 --> 00:05:18,960 Speaker 2: metaphor for life. I think, I think there's so much 112 00:05:19,000 --> 00:05:21,680 Speaker 2: that we can draw into our parenting when it comes 113 00:05:21,720 --> 00:05:24,240 Speaker 2: to a consideration of this metaphor. Now, I think that 114 00:05:24,279 --> 00:05:27,080 Speaker 2: there's also some downsides to the poem. I love it, 115 00:05:27,120 --> 00:05:29,479 Speaker 2: I think it's beautiful, but there's also some downsides. I 116 00:05:29,480 --> 00:05:31,600 Speaker 2: would imagine that some people who end up in Holland 117 00:05:31,800 --> 00:05:35,680 Speaker 2: are actually really unhappy about it, and probably I mean, 118 00:05:35,880 --> 00:05:37,800 Speaker 2: I'm just thinking, if you've got a child who's violent 119 00:05:37,880 --> 00:05:40,520 Speaker 2: or psychopathic, if you've got a child who you and 120 00:05:40,560 --> 00:05:44,640 Speaker 2: I both know somebody who has children around about our age, 121 00:05:44,720 --> 00:05:48,000 Speaker 2: so children are in their thirties, forties, these people are 122 00:05:48,000 --> 00:05:51,239 Speaker 2: now well into their sixties, and you actually were raised 123 00:05:51,240 --> 00:05:52,920 Speaker 2: with one of these kids who has ended up in 124 00:05:53,000 --> 00:05:56,000 Speaker 2: jail because he took the life of somebody as a parent. 125 00:05:56,720 --> 00:06:00,320 Speaker 2: That's landing somewhere that is not Italy. It might not 126 00:06:00,320 --> 00:06:03,040 Speaker 2: even be Holland, though maybe it's somewhere far worse than that. 127 00:06:03,320 --> 00:06:05,960 Speaker 2: How do you move on with your life when these 128 00:06:06,200 --> 00:06:09,080 Speaker 2: kinds of scenarios are put before you when things don't 129 00:06:09,080 --> 00:06:11,160 Speaker 2: work out the way you want them to, whether it's 130 00:06:11,160 --> 00:06:13,200 Speaker 2: the kids just not going to bed on time and 131 00:06:13,240 --> 00:06:16,480 Speaker 2: you've asked them fifteen thousand times to clean up their room, 132 00:06:16,520 --> 00:06:18,279 Speaker 2: brush their teeth, brush their hair and get into bed, 133 00:06:18,680 --> 00:06:22,040 Speaker 2: or whether it's something of more significance, or. 134 00:06:22,200 --> 00:06:23,960 Speaker 3: Finding out that you're not on the same page with 135 00:06:24,000 --> 00:06:26,600 Speaker 3: your husband in relation to parenting, or. 136 00:06:26,760 --> 00:06:27,760 Speaker 2: Are you talking about me again? 137 00:06:28,080 --> 00:06:31,400 Speaker 3: That's so funny. So everything is not about you? 138 00:06:31,440 --> 00:06:34,599 Speaker 2: No, I'm sorry, I shouldn't make it about me. Wow, 139 00:06:34,960 --> 00:06:38,400 Speaker 2: let's talk about I reckon that? Well, there's loads of them, 140 00:06:38,400 --> 00:06:40,200 Speaker 2: but there are three central things that I would like 141 00:06:40,240 --> 00:06:42,320 Speaker 2: to talk about in terms of Welcome to Holland and 142 00:06:42,360 --> 00:06:45,320 Speaker 2: how we can apply these ideas into our lives to 143 00:06:45,440 --> 00:06:48,479 Speaker 2: deal with landing in Holland, for example, rather than Italy. 144 00:06:48,520 --> 00:06:50,480 Speaker 2: We'll do that right after the brain It's the Happy 145 00:06:50,520 --> 00:06:51,640 Speaker 2: Families podcast. 146 00:06:52,200 --> 00:06:55,440 Speaker 4: Imagine a home where discipline got results without anyone having 147 00:06:55,480 --> 00:06:57,880 Speaker 4: to feel bad or in trouble. The do's and don'ts 148 00:06:57,880 --> 00:07:00,520 Speaker 4: of discipline. There's a webinar to help parents set limits 149 00:07:00,560 --> 00:07:04,680 Speaker 4: with love, compassion and humanity. Find it now at happyfamilies 150 00:07:04,720 --> 00:07:07,719 Speaker 4: dot com dot au slash shop it's. 151 00:07:07,600 --> 00:07:10,040 Speaker 3: The Happy Families podcast, the podcast for the time poor 152 00:07:10,080 --> 00:07:13,640 Speaker 3: parent who just wants answers now, and today we are 153 00:07:13,680 --> 00:07:17,360 Speaker 3: delving into a little bit of a deep conversation about 154 00:07:17,360 --> 00:07:19,880 Speaker 3: this idea of getting to a place where we realize 155 00:07:19,920 --> 00:07:21,160 Speaker 3: this is not what we signed up. 156 00:07:21,080 --> 00:07:23,360 Speaker 2: For, which is kind of every day as a parent 157 00:07:23,400 --> 00:07:24,200 Speaker 2: in some ways. 158 00:07:24,320 --> 00:07:24,600 Speaker 3: Yeah. 159 00:07:24,720 --> 00:07:27,960 Speaker 2: So there are three things that we've discussed that I 160 00:07:27,960 --> 00:07:31,440 Speaker 2: think are really relevant to what Welcome to Holland teaches 161 00:07:31,520 --> 00:07:34,200 Speaker 2: us about parenting. And the first of those is we're 162 00:07:34,200 --> 00:07:36,280 Speaker 2: going to have a better time in Holland if we 163 00:07:36,320 --> 00:07:40,000 Speaker 2: remove judgment and just accept that it just. 164 00:07:40,120 --> 00:07:43,160 Speaker 3: Is last week. You know, I'll do better tomorrow. I 165 00:07:43,200 --> 00:07:45,640 Speaker 3: shared the experience of Emily having a meltdown in front 166 00:07:45,680 --> 00:07:46,280 Speaker 3: of our friends. 167 00:07:46,560 --> 00:07:48,560 Speaker 2: Yes, great example, Yes, and. 168 00:07:48,720 --> 00:07:52,360 Speaker 3: Just getting to a place where I just accepted she 169 00:07:52,480 --> 00:07:53,320 Speaker 3: was having a melkdown. 170 00:07:53,600 --> 00:07:54,720 Speaker 2: This is what seven year old. 171 00:07:54,800 --> 00:07:56,240 Speaker 3: It wasn't anything that I had done wrong. 172 00:07:56,320 --> 00:07:57,800 Speaker 2: Thought we would have grown out of this by now, 173 00:07:57,840 --> 00:07:59,440 Speaker 2: but we're not there yet, that's. 174 00:07:59,280 --> 00:08:02,360 Speaker 3: Right, And it was just an acceptance of this is 175 00:08:02,360 --> 00:08:04,400 Speaker 3: what's happening right now, and it's okay. 176 00:08:05,040 --> 00:08:06,720 Speaker 2: Well, that kind of ties in with the second point 177 00:08:06,720 --> 00:08:08,000 Speaker 2: that I was going to make and that is not 178 00:08:08,040 --> 00:08:10,560 Speaker 2: only do we remove judgment, but we move to acceptance. 179 00:08:11,280 --> 00:08:13,520 Speaker 2: In fact, just on that judgment idea, I was having 180 00:08:13,520 --> 00:08:15,640 Speaker 2: a conversation with my mom about a year ago and 181 00:08:16,400 --> 00:08:20,200 Speaker 2: she said something about hate and love being opposites, but 182 00:08:20,240 --> 00:08:22,960 Speaker 2: she wasn't so sure, and she asked me what I thought, 183 00:08:22,960 --> 00:08:26,480 Speaker 2: and I said, I don't. I can see where that sits. 184 00:08:26,520 --> 00:08:29,520 Speaker 2: But for me, if I'm in a situation where I'm 185 00:08:29,520 --> 00:08:32,240 Speaker 2: not feeling loved, it's not because somebody is staring at 186 00:08:32,320 --> 00:08:34,480 Speaker 2: me and they want to tear me apart. It's usually 187 00:08:34,480 --> 00:08:36,839 Speaker 2: because they're not hearing me, they're not getting where I'm 188 00:08:36,840 --> 00:08:39,360 Speaker 2: coming from. I'm feeling judged, and I kind of feel 189 00:08:39,360 --> 00:08:44,600 Speaker 2: like the opposite of love could also be judgment. And 190 00:08:44,640 --> 00:08:46,719 Speaker 2: when our kids feel judged because they're not good enough, 191 00:08:46,720 --> 00:08:49,040 Speaker 2: because they're not measuring up, or when our partners feel 192 00:08:49,360 --> 00:08:53,679 Speaker 2: judged because they're not contributing enough, they haven't done enough, 193 00:08:53,679 --> 00:08:55,719 Speaker 2: they're not where we thought they would be because the 194 00:08:55,760 --> 00:08:57,679 Speaker 2: house is untidy, or they're not earning enough, or we're 195 00:08:57,720 --> 00:08:59,599 Speaker 2: still living in this place where we were sure we 196 00:08:59,600 --> 00:09:02,880 Speaker 2: would be here a long time ago. When the judgment 197 00:09:03,000 --> 00:09:05,679 Speaker 2: is there, there can't be any love at the same time, 198 00:09:05,720 --> 00:09:08,160 Speaker 2: because judgment means I don't like what you're doing. I 199 00:09:08,160 --> 00:09:10,480 Speaker 2: don't think that it's satisfactory, you're not measuring up. 200 00:09:10,559 --> 00:09:13,200 Speaker 3: I don't accept where you're at or what you're offering. 201 00:09:13,520 --> 00:09:17,079 Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, yeah yeah. So removing judgment means we can 202 00:09:17,160 --> 00:09:20,439 Speaker 2: move forward with love, and we can also move forward 203 00:09:20,440 --> 00:09:24,960 Speaker 2: with acceptance. The second thing, I found a quote that 204 00:09:25,040 --> 00:09:27,200 Speaker 2: I haven't shared with you yet that I think really 205 00:09:27,960 --> 00:09:31,360 Speaker 2: highlights the power of acceptance in this Welcome to Holland poem. 206 00:09:32,280 --> 00:09:37,600 Speaker 2: It's from someone called Herman Hesse or Herman Hesse perhaps, 207 00:09:38,200 --> 00:09:42,000 Speaker 2: who said, some of us think that holding on makes 208 00:09:42,080 --> 00:09:45,000 Speaker 2: us strong, but sometimes it's letting go. 209 00:09:45,760 --> 00:09:46,040 Speaker 3: Yep. 210 00:09:46,480 --> 00:09:49,080 Speaker 2: Doesn't that just do something for you? When you consider 211 00:09:49,280 --> 00:09:51,640 Speaker 2: I thought I was going to Italy and now I'm 212 00:09:51,679 --> 00:09:54,720 Speaker 2: in Holland and holding on Titan saying no, I insist 213 00:09:54,760 --> 00:09:56,600 Speaker 2: on Italy. I'm going to pretend I'm in Italy. I'm 214 00:09:56,600 --> 00:09:58,040 Speaker 2: going to live like I'm in Italy. I'm going to 215 00:09:58,080 --> 00:10:01,760 Speaker 2: walk around Holland and speak Italian. That doesn't prove strength, 216 00:10:01,760 --> 00:10:05,160 Speaker 2: That proves stubbornness and judgment and all of these other things. 217 00:10:05,200 --> 00:10:06,360 Speaker 2: Whereas if we can just have the. 218 00:10:06,640 --> 00:10:10,920 Speaker 3: Strength clouds our vision and our ability to appreciate what's 219 00:10:11,000 --> 00:10:15,080 Speaker 3: right in front of us, because Holland is a beautiful 220 00:10:15,120 --> 00:10:18,680 Speaker 3: place and it has so much to offer, but we're 221 00:10:18,760 --> 00:10:22,079 Speaker 3: so caught up in wanting to have all that Italy 222 00:10:22,160 --> 00:10:24,800 Speaker 3: has to offer that we just completely miss it all. 223 00:10:25,320 --> 00:10:29,719 Speaker 2: So the first idea is remove judgment. Second idea except 224 00:10:30,360 --> 00:10:31,000 Speaker 2: third idea. 225 00:10:31,520 --> 00:10:33,720 Speaker 3: I think the poem says it so well. It's learning 226 00:10:33,760 --> 00:10:37,439 Speaker 3: to find joy in Holland, even though Holland's not where 227 00:10:37,480 --> 00:10:38,120 Speaker 3: you want it to be. 228 00:10:38,559 --> 00:10:41,960 Speaker 2: Yeah, and I love the imagery of these small things 229 00:10:41,960 --> 00:10:46,320 Speaker 2: like tulips and windmills. They're not the Colosseum, but they're 230 00:10:46,320 --> 00:10:48,160 Speaker 2: still beautiful and we can find joy in them. 231 00:10:48,640 --> 00:10:51,240 Speaker 3: Well, I think her wording was so profound because she 232 00:10:51,320 --> 00:10:54,120 Speaker 3: said you're free to enjoy Holland. 233 00:10:54,240 --> 00:10:58,079 Speaker 2: Right ah, Yeah, because of the lack of judgment, because 234 00:10:58,080 --> 00:11:00,920 Speaker 2: of the acceptance and to find joy. 235 00:11:01,120 --> 00:11:02,720 Speaker 3: Yeah, it's so powerful. 236 00:11:03,880 --> 00:11:06,600 Speaker 2: Mazuta Masahide, I'm not sure if I've said that the 237 00:11:06,640 --> 00:11:10,120 Speaker 2: right way. Said this and listen to this destruction and 238 00:11:10,160 --> 00:11:12,680 Speaker 2: hope in just ten words, I love it my barn 239 00:11:12,760 --> 00:11:16,840 Speaker 2: having burned down. I can see the moon, isn't it sublime? 240 00:11:17,440 --> 00:11:19,120 Speaker 2: And I think it's a really nice way of kind 241 00:11:19,120 --> 00:11:21,560 Speaker 2: of looking at this idea of welcome to Holland. I 242 00:11:21,600 --> 00:11:25,760 Speaker 2: had this barn. It's gone, but I can see the 243 00:11:25,800 --> 00:11:26,199 Speaker 2: moon now. 244 00:11:27,120 --> 00:11:29,960 Speaker 3: It's a really profound thought, especially. 245 00:11:29,679 --> 00:11:30,680 Speaker 2: For a Monday morning. 246 00:11:31,840 --> 00:11:33,680 Speaker 3: Well, it's a great way to start the week. 247 00:11:33,720 --> 00:11:35,800 Speaker 2: I think if your week hasn't started the way that 248 00:11:35,840 --> 00:11:37,839 Speaker 2: you hoped that it would, if you've started your week 249 00:11:37,840 --> 00:11:39,800 Speaker 2: in Holland and you would have preferred to be in Italy, 250 00:11:40,679 --> 00:11:44,160 Speaker 2: our suggestion for you today is to just accept it. 251 00:11:44,160 --> 00:11:46,160 Speaker 2: It is what it is, remove any judgment from it, 252 00:11:46,240 --> 00:11:47,800 Speaker 2: and find joy in the small moments. 253 00:11:48,360 --> 00:11:49,960 Speaker 3: I think one of the most important things we need 254 00:11:50,000 --> 00:11:53,160 Speaker 3: to remember in removing judgment is that often that judgment 255 00:11:53,280 --> 00:11:56,439 Speaker 3: is on ourselves. If I had have done this, if 256 00:11:56,480 --> 00:11:59,240 Speaker 3: only I had of done X, Y and Z, then 257 00:11:59,240 --> 00:12:02,800 Speaker 3: we wouldn't be here, or any number of things. But 258 00:12:03,360 --> 00:12:05,920 Speaker 3: removing the judgment from ourselves as well as from the 259 00:12:05,960 --> 00:12:08,360 Speaker 3: situation and those around us is so important. 260 00:12:08,520 --> 00:12:10,959 Speaker 2: We normally start the week fairly light. This has been 261 00:12:11,400 --> 00:12:13,400 Speaker 2: a little bit deeper than normal, but I'm really glad 262 00:12:13,400 --> 00:12:15,320 Speaker 2: we've got to have this conversation. We hope that you 263 00:12:15,440 --> 00:12:20,599 Speaker 2: enjoy your day in Holland, Italy or Brisbane, Sydney, Melbourne, Lockdown, 264 00:12:21,080 --> 00:12:23,719 Speaker 2: wherever you might be, even if it's not quite where 265 00:12:23,760 --> 00:12:27,000 Speaker 2: you're planned on being today. The Happy Families podcast is 266 00:12:27,000 --> 00:12:29,880 Speaker 2: produced by Justin Ruhlon from Bridge Media. Craig Bruce is 267 00:12:30,000 --> 00:12:34,079 Speaker 2: our executive producer. If you enjoy the podcast, please leave 268 00:12:34,120 --> 00:12:36,520 Speaker 2: us a five star rating and review at Apple Podcasts. 269 00:12:36,640 --> 00:12:38,520 Speaker 2: It helps other people to find out about the podcast 270 00:12:38,520 --> 00:12:40,800 Speaker 2: to make their family happier. And if you think that 271 00:12:40,840 --> 00:12:42,760 Speaker 2: what we share here is good, you should check out 272 00:12:42,760 --> 00:12:46,200 Speaker 2: our Happy Families memberships. We put our heart and soul 273 00:12:46,400 --> 00:12:48,640 Speaker 2: into giving you the very best content that we possibly 274 00:12:48,679 --> 00:12:51,199 Speaker 2: can in that membership to make your family happier. This 275 00:12:51,280 --> 00:12:54,360 Speaker 2: is the gold standard stuff, the very best that we 276 00:12:54,400 --> 00:12:56,560 Speaker 2: can offer you. It's all in the Happy Families Memberships 277 00:12:56,840 --> 00:13:00,440 Speaker 2: details at Happy Families dot com, dot a U. It 278 00:13:00,880 --> 00:13:02,960 Speaker 2: became local