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Speaker 1: My Heart podcasts, hear more Kids podcasts, playlists and listen

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Speaker 1: live on the Free I had everyone.

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Speaker 2: It's will and Woody bron Lewis is in the studio.

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Speaker 3: I am and welcome back, mate.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, feeling not great. I had to have straight sweetheart

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Speaker 1: feeling in for me for two weeks and then I'll

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Speaker 1: come back completely wrecked.

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Speaker 4: Se've been replaced by someone who's got no personality and.

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Speaker 2: Like just slightly below where you're at.

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Speaker 3: Did you find them under the bridge? Exactly?

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Speaker 2: Good for them.

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Speaker 1: They've got a bit of exposure. I went and got

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Speaker 1: the biggest person in his trained media.

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Speaker 2: I didn't organize that. Well, who did? Who did? The boss?

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Speaker 3: He was begging me to do it. I said, no

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Speaker 3: way in hell.

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Speaker 2: Happy with you doing it? That would perfect person for me.

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Speaker 2: Oh my great. She tried all the best back.

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Speaker 1: No, I'm actually exhausted, as you know, because I've had

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Speaker 1: a second kid.

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Speaker 2: Why I didn't have it.

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Speaker 1: We have a second child, which is very very exciting

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Speaker 1: but also exhausting, which is just incredibly timely as well

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Speaker 1: today because you're in because you've got this brand new

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Speaker 1: book which is all about that.

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Speaker 3: It is all about is wild.

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Speaker 2: So it's called I'm not mad anymore. Yeah, you get

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Speaker 2: tickets anywhere, tickets, My god.

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Speaker 1: You can get the book anyway back.

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Speaker 3: This is no good for me.

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Speaker 1: We have so many don't please start because I can't

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Speaker 1: defend myself.

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Speaker 2: You are such a little you are every time she

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Speaker 2: comes in the only guest who goes you and I

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Speaker 2: love us. She's done it again. But you did get him,

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Speaker 2: get him. You attacked her early. You wish that she

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Speaker 2: referee unbiased party. Shut let's talk about your book. Shut up.

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Speaker 2: So this is basically the book that you wish you

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Speaker 2: could have.

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Speaker 3: Read when I was.

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Speaker 4: When I was mad, Yeah, and I say mad. I

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Speaker 4: know that some people are like, hey, you can't use

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Speaker 4: that term. But after I had kids, I got three,

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Speaker 4: and after each child I went through a version of

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Speaker 4: madness that I like personally. So yeah, so if you're

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Speaker 4: like a sensitive about that word, I apologize. But when

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Speaker 4: you are when you feel completely unfamiliar to your own

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Speaker 4: self mentally, that for me is madness. I was like,

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Speaker 4: I can't recognize where I am, where these thoughts are

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Speaker 4: coming from, what I'm feeling right now.

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Speaker 3: I felt mad.

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Speaker 2: Oh sorry, you're not saying mad as in angry.

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Speaker 3: Sometimes when you're around.

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Speaker 2: Speaking of that.

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Speaker 1: Mad mad in terms that you felt insane, yeah, but

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Speaker 1: also angry.

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Speaker 2: Part of it.

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Speaker 4: So I had postnatal anxiety after two girls really close together,

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Speaker 4: and I had post natal anxiety. And one of the

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Speaker 4: symptoms of that was fury, so.

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Speaker 2: Much anger, like stotting yourself.

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Speaker 3: Well, just like you feel constantly exhausted.

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Speaker 4: You wouldn't get it, and you constantly exhausted, and everyone

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Speaker 4: keeps just adding to your plate. Someone will say something like, god,

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Speaker 4: you look you look so tired, and that's just a comment.

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Speaker 4: But when you're feeling mad, or when you're feeling sensitive

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Speaker 4: and you're like, I put makeup on today, I had

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Speaker 4: it like I was the best night sleep I've had

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Speaker 4: in months?

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Speaker 3: What do I look like yesterday?

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Speaker 4: And they don't mean, they don't mean anything bad by it,

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Speaker 4: but the noise keeps. The noise is just overwhelming all

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Speaker 4: the time because you've got babies that are crying, You've

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Speaker 4: got two babies that need completely different things. I had

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Speaker 4: a one year old and a newborn breastfeeding happening. And

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Speaker 4: then it feels like it was really by myself because Lucas,

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Speaker 4: my partner, had to go back to work because the

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Speaker 4: way the society works in Australia after two weeks, if

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Speaker 4: you're lucky, you'll have two weeks doing it together, and

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Speaker 4: then the dad will go or the partner, whatever one

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Speaker 4: of them, one person will go back to work.

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Speaker 3: I mean, you guys can't really because you guys don't

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Speaker 3: have real jobs.

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Speaker 2: But Lucas did.

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Speaker 4: Was like a stitch, okay, and so he would leave

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Speaker 4: in the morning, and then I would have a really

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Speaker 4: long day with these two things that I loved so

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Speaker 4: much but were endlessly miserable, you know, because.

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Speaker 2: I can't think about that now.

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Speaker 4: You're exactly about you make a joke that we don't

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Speaker 4: have real jobs, but quite seriously, we get the mornings

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Speaker 4: off to help out at home, the days where we

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Speaker 4: in the days?

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Speaker 2: What are you doing in the morning? The world? Your wife?

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Speaker 2: Whenever I need to do to fill my cup? How

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Speaker 2: could you.

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Speaker 3: Become less likable as the minutes go along. It's incredible,

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Speaker 3: real gifts there, mate.

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Speaker 2: You gotta look after yourself. That's a good lesson. That's

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Speaker 2: what the book's about.

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Speaker 1: I reckon make sure your husband is okay through all

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Speaker 1: of this and feeling.

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Speaker 2: Up his anyway. Look, we've tangented and that's not fair.

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Speaker 3: Just if you go and you can see the look

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Speaker 3: that both of our wives are all they're very angry.

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Speaker 2: So but you're an awful dad. No, she is brutal.

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Speaker 3: Where is Sophie. It's available.

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Speaker 2: We're in the trenches at the moment.

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Speaker 1: Little Jewels has got gas and so he's up every

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Speaker 1: hour on the hour. And then because he's up now

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Speaker 1: Max has started hearing him, and she's up and then

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Speaker 1: so like it's just you know, you might get like

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Speaker 1: two to three hours sleep, you know, each And sitting

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Speaker 1: down with Sem this morning we put Max a daycare,

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Speaker 1: Jewels was finally asleep, and we were sitting there and

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Speaker 1: we're just kind of like staring at each other. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: you know, like and like the other one you can't

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Speaker 1: you can't converse because you can't listen, you don't respond

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Speaker 1: to so you just like we're just like looking at

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Speaker 1: each other. And I said to her, I was like,

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Speaker 1: we like, we surely this is not what it was like,

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Speaker 1: But I think it was.

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Speaker 2: I think I think we actually forgot.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, you do.

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Speaker 4: I think we'd actually to Otherwise why would we ever

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Speaker 4: go and do it again?

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Speaker 3: Yeah?

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Speaker 1: Is that right?

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Speaker 2: First was more difficult than the Yes, olive.

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Speaker 3: She's twelve now. She was impossible baby. I didn't know

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Speaker 3: what I was doing. I thought it was gonna be easy.

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Speaker 4: Like I'm from a long line of stoic women, so

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Speaker 4: many fertile myrtles in my family. My mum had five, yeah,

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Speaker 4: and then all of my aunties had one hundred kids.

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Speaker 4: So I was like, oh, this is it's just in

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Speaker 4: my bloodline that I'm going to handle this like an

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Speaker 4: absolute queen.

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Speaker 3: My sister's got four. I was like, this is fine, easy, And.

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Speaker 4: I'm like generally a really like low maintenance, like really easy, easy, breezy.

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Speaker 3: Nothing seems to phaze me.

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Speaker 4: So I thought a baby, not only am I like

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Speaker 4: genetically destined to be good at this, but also like

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Speaker 4: my personality suits this down.

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Speaker 3: To the ground.

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Speaker 4: I was like, this is going to be yeah, a

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Speaker 4: walk in the park, And unfortunately there were way too

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Speaker 4: many walks in the park because I absolutely hate the

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Speaker 4: park because that's where I had to go all of

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Speaker 4: the time, because I had a screaming baby in my

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Speaker 4: chest the whole time because she was just so sad.

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Speaker 4: All of our friends and family came and everyone's going

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Speaker 4: to be there, She's going to be you know, smiling

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Speaker 4: because there's balloons, and there's family and there's cakes. On

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Speaker 4: that day, She's so overwhelmed with what was happening that

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Speaker 4: she cried.

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Speaker 3: The whole day. So I had to hold her the

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Speaker 3: whole day.

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Speaker 4: And so this day that I'd looked forward to for

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Speaker 4: twelve months was so disappointing. And then I got home

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Speaker 4: that night and I went to the bathroom and I

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Speaker 4: felt a bit weird.

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Speaker 3: So I did a pregnancy test and I was pregnant.

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Speaker 2: With my shut up and.

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Speaker 3: I cried. I was like, I don't know, I can't

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Speaker 3: go back to the start. Yeah, I was like, no

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Speaker 3: one warned me about this, and I haven't slept in months.

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Speaker 4: And so I saw this woman at the woman sitting

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Speaker 4: at a bus stop, and so I screamed over four

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Speaker 4: lanes of traffic.

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Speaker 3: I screamed, screamed, do not, do not.

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Speaker 4: Go to work, just like, don't get on the bus

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Speaker 4: just to go just go home and sleep, because this

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Speaker 4: is so hard. Like sure you'll love her, sure you'll

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Speaker 4: love her so much fun, but this nothing prepares you

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Speaker 4: for the lack of sleep.

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Speaker 3: Just go home and go to bed.

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Speaker 4: And then she said to me, Yeah, she said to me,

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Speaker 4: I'm not pregnant, and that was that.

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Speaker 3: It was really bad. It was really bad.

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Speaker 2: Ah.

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Speaker 4: So the book is largely about how I coped, and

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Speaker 4: there's some deeply humiliating things in it.

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Speaker 3: There's one bit where I went to the.

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Speaker 4: Park and I had a newborn and a one year

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Speaker 4: old and I had to put the one year old

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Speaker 4: in a swing. I was listening to music because I

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Speaker 4: was trying to drown out their crying, because I both

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Speaker 4: were crying. And then it got to a point so

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Speaker 4: I turned it up and as I turned it up,

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Speaker 4: Tina Arena Chains.

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Speaker 3: You know her change. You know, I've loved it.

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Speaker 4: Everyone remembers where they were when seven to eleven happened,

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Speaker 4: when Princess Diana died, and they also remember where they

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Speaker 4: were when they heard Chains for the first time. Chains

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Speaker 4: for me is like, oh my god, instantly, like instantly,

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Speaker 4: give me just once.

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Speaker 3: But I was listening to that and I.

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Speaker 4: Was like, oh, okay, I've always loved this song, but

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Speaker 4: something is different now.

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Speaker 3: And the lyrics it was like.

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Speaker 4: Tina was singing them to me because baby Baby, which

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Speaker 4: I had, baby Baby, I'm in Chains.

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Speaker 3: I never thought this would happen to me. I never

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Speaker 3: thought this is where i'd be.

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Speaker 4: I'm in Chains and so as I was like, it

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Speaker 4: felt like the lights kind of switched on.

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Speaker 3: I was like, oh my god, this is this.

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Speaker 4: No one could articulate how I was feeling. And tell

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Speaker 4: Tina sang me a song that was decades old. So

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Speaker 4: I was singing Tina Arena's Chains so loudly in between

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Speaker 4: pushing a one year old and pushing the newborn. I

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Speaker 4: took my headphones off and then I heard from the

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Speaker 4: apartment block next to the park, someone do this.

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Speaker 3: Thank you so much.

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Speaker 2: I'll be here tomorrow. All right, go and get the book. Guys.

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Speaker 1: I'm going to give a copy to Semi for sure,

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Speaker 1: because I'm just not the affirmation she needs right now.

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Speaker 2: Anyway, I'm not mad Anymore.

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Speaker 1: Is out at all bookstores by.

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Speaker 2: Bron Lewis Bron, Thanks coming in. Thanks great to see you.

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Speaker 4: Maybe you get some sleep soon, mate, Thank you appreciate

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Speaker 4: it for sure,