WEBVTT - MOTIVATION, MOOD & MINDSET- Uncut with Dr Julie Smith

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<v Speaker 1>Before we get into the episode, we just want to

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<v Speaker 1>say a big thank you to today's sponsor, and that

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<v Speaker 1>is one I've been rapping for a very long time.

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<v Speaker 1>It is New Balance. Now. New Balance is just released

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<v Speaker 1>the twelfth version of their Fresh Frome X range of

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<v Speaker 1>shoe and if you run, they are for you. If

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<v Speaker 1>New Balance could only make one running shoe, it'd be

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<v Speaker 1>the Fresh Frome ten eighty v twelve. It's like their

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<v Speaker 1>golden child of running shoe.

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<v Speaker 2>Now, I'm certainly no runner, but I absolutely try buster

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<v Speaker 2>and I get out well, We'll give me. We get

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<v Speaker 2>out it several times a week because it is the

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<v Speaker 2>one thing running that is good for my mental health.

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<v Speaker 2>You can purchase the Fresh Foe XV twelve collection by

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<v Speaker 2>visiting New Balance dot com dot a U. Now let's

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<v Speaker 2>get into the episode.

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<v Speaker 1>Life Uncut podcast acknowledges the traditional custodians of country throughout

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<v Speaker 1>Australia and their connections to land, sea and community. We

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<v Speaker 1>pay our respect to their elders past and present and

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<v Speaker 1>extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torres Strait islander

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<v Speaker 1>peoples today.

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<v Speaker 2>This episode is recorded on Gadigal Land of the Aurora Nation.

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<v Speaker 2>Hi guys, and welcome back to another episode of Life Uncut.

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<v Speaker 2>I've lost my voice. Brittany got scammed by some removal us.

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<v Speaker 1>It's a great week to be a life what a time.

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<v Speaker 3>Welcome to our Tuesday episode.

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<v Speaker 1>But you do sound really funny because your voice is

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<v Speaker 1>just about to go and it doesn't. That doesn't bode

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<v Speaker 1>well in an industry where our job is to speak

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<v Speaker 1>radio and podcasting and you are you are hanging on

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<v Speaker 1>for dear Life.

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<v Speaker 2>We actually we had an interview planned for this afternoon.

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<v Speaker 2>We were going to interview Angie Kent this afternoon, but

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<v Speaker 2>we had to push it back because I think I

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<v Speaker 2>could hang out for this intro chat and then also

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<v Speaker 2>managed to punch out another interview after this.

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<v Speaker 1>No, it would have been hard listening. It would have

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<v Speaker 1>been like something from this seems like scratchy, you know,

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<v Speaker 1>like March March Simpson.

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<v Speaker 2>Yes, so I'm very sorry that I sound like this

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<v Speaker 2>at the start of this episode. However, I did not

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<v Speaker 2>sound like this when we did the interview which is

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<v Speaker 2>the middle of this episode. So it's not going to

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<v Speaker 2>be like this forever, I promise. Yeah.

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<v Speaker 1>So sometimes, and it depending on when someone's available for

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<v Speaker 1>an interview. We break this episode recording up, so if

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<v Speaker 1>someone's available, we will do the interview, but then we

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<v Speaker 1>might do this intro at another time. That's what has happened.

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<v Speaker 1>So Laura's voice is going to sound don't let.

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<v Speaker 2>Them, don't let them behind the curtain, don't let them

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<v Speaker 2>see what we do. How our level of disorganization.

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<v Speaker 1>Well, I think the voice is going to be to

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<v Speaker 1>give way. You can't even you can't even laugh.

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<v Speaker 3>I can't.

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<v Speaker 2>There's no sound that comes out when I laugh. I

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<v Speaker 2>just wheeze. And you know what, I'm just gonna put

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<v Speaker 2>it out there. I know that anytime anybody has any

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<v Speaker 2>sort of sickness, now we're like.

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<v Speaker 3>Me COVID, COVID.

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<v Speaker 2>I've done so many tests and this has been brewing

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<v Speaker 2>for about a month, and I think that it's just finally,

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<v Speaker 2>it's just finally here. It's like, Laura, you need to stop,

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<v Speaker 2>and you need to have a sleep and you need

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<v Speaker 2>to get over it. But anyway, enough about me.

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<v Speaker 1>Before we get any further into Laura's very very sexy

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<v Speaker 1>voice or telling you what the episode's about, we do

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<v Speaker 1>just want to say a big thank you to our

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<v Speaker 1>sponsor today that made this episode possible, that is New Balance. Now.

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<v Speaker 1>I wear you Balance to death if you follow me. Actually,

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<v Speaker 1>I used to post about my favorite pair of shoes

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<v Speaker 1>overseas and lots of people used to laugh at me.

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<v Speaker 1>They were bright pink and they had chains on them.

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<v Speaker 1>Do you know the ones?

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<v Speaker 3>Laura, I have no idea what you're talking about.

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<v Speaker 1>I wear them to death, then you Balance. But New

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<v Speaker 1>Balance have just released the golden child of running shoes,

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<v Speaker 1>the Fresh Foam ten eighty v. Twelve And let me

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<v Speaker 1>tell you, I've been hitting the pavement with Delilah.

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<v Speaker 2>They are very, very comfortable, and even if you're not

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<v Speaker 2>a runner, because like, let's face it, I'm not a

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<v Speaker 2>very good runner, but I do walk places, so I

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<v Speaker 2>have them as well, and they're very good if you

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<v Speaker 2>don't run and you just walk. Say way, Brett, tell

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<v Speaker 2>us about this whole removalist debacle.

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<v Speaker 1>Could you follow me on Instagram? You would have seen

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<v Speaker 1>what went down with me this week. I just I

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<v Speaker 1>feel like I've had one of those weeks that there's

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<v Speaker 1>been a lot of tears shed from multitude reasons, Like.

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<v Speaker 2>I mean, you cried last week on the podcast, you

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<v Speaker 2>can't cry this week on the podcast I.

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<v Speaker 1>Won't cry on the podcast, but I did cry in RL.

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<v Speaker 1>In real life, I basically gave a lot of my

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<v Speaker 1>furniture al miss the houseworth to my very very best

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<v Speaker 1>friend when I moved out of my place because they

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<v Speaker 1>needed some furniture. So I said, do you know what,

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<v Speaker 1>I'm going to get some new stuff. Anyway, you can

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<v Speaker 1>keep the stuff.

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<v Speaker 2>Well, they also moved into your old house, so it

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<v Speaker 2>was kind of like it just worked. You moved out,

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<v Speaker 2>you moved into this place, they moved into that place,

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<v Speaker 2>and they kind of used your furniture while they were there.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, I was trying to do a good thing, and

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<v Speaker 1>I was like, do you know what, just just use

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<v Speaker 1>all my furniture. You don't have to worry then. Amazing,

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<v Speaker 1>And in a year's time when you move out, I'll

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<v Speaker 1>just deal with my furniture then and I'll take it back,

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<v Speaker 1>either we sell it or whatever. Long story short, they

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<v Speaker 1>had to move out urgently because there were some renovations

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<v Speaker 1>happening in the building. They couldn't be there for work,

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<v Speaker 1>so they've had to break their release after only like

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<v Speaker 1>two or three months. So we organized the move out

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<v Speaker 1>and I thought, okay, great, I will just organize to

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<v Speaker 1>get all my furniture picked up and shipped up the coast.

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<v Speaker 1>I was waiting. It was supposed to come, yes on

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<v Speaker 1>a Sunday, So I supposed to come on Sunday at

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<v Speaker 1>nine o'clock. Now I was very silly and paid up front.

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<v Speaker 1>So between nine and eleven, I was waiting, waiting, waiting.

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<v Speaker 1>They didn't come. Waited a little bit longer, and there's

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<v Speaker 1>nothing else in a house. I'm just hanging around. Kept waiting.

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<v Speaker 1>I thought, you know, remomvve us are pretty unreliable. They're

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<v Speaker 1>always late from picking up all the jobs or doing

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<v Speaker 1>other stuff. I'll keep waiting, keep waiting, keep waiting. It

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<v Speaker 1>got to five pm, and I was like, Mama, it

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<v Speaker 1>was like, they're not coming. I realized they weren't coming,

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<v Speaker 1>and I started to panic because I thought, Okay, what

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<v Speaker 1>am I going to do? Because you know, when you're

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<v Speaker 1>leaving a lease, you have to be out. So we

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<v Speaker 1>had to be out of that apartment on Monday morning,

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<v Speaker 1>which is this morning. We're recording this on a Monday,

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<v Speaker 1>So this is this morning, it's five feel on a Sunday.

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<v Speaker 1>How am I?

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<v Speaker 2>So?

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<v Speaker 1>What was I supposed to do? I was at such

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<v Speaker 1>a loss that I was like, how do I have

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<v Speaker 1>to get all of my house, this furniture out on

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<v Speaker 1>a Sunday night with I don't have I don't have

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<v Speaker 1>a I don't have a van, I don't have family here.

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<v Speaker 1>It's Sunday night. I was so overwhelmed that I just

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<v Speaker 1>sat in my car out the front and I just

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<v Speaker 1>sat there and cried, and I was like, I just

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<v Speaker 1>couldn't do it. I couldn't get out, couldn't get on my phone,

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<v Speaker 1>couldn't do anything else. I was like, I just need

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<v Speaker 1>to bore my eyes out for a second. I just

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<v Speaker 1>had so much frustration and stress. And I think that

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<v Speaker 1>I don't want to sound like I'm being dramatic, but

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<v Speaker 1>I think it was the icing on the cake from

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<v Speaker 1>a big few weeks. You know, when this one little

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<v Speaker 1>thing happens that tipps you over the edge.

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<v Speaker 2>And I feel like the big part of this as well,

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<v Speaker 2>is that you pretty much got scammed by a removals company.

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<v Speaker 3>Do we think you've got scammed?

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<v Speaker 1>Well, so we think so it was hard to know.

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<v Speaker 1>And the reason I didn't call. Everyone's like call the

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<v Speaker 1>company out. But I don't ever want to do that.

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<v Speaker 1>I don't like this online idea of online buying, I

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<v Speaker 1>was like to docks them. But if somebody, if one

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<v Speaker 1>hundred percent knew that a company was scamming, I would.

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<v Speaker 1>But until I knew that, or until I know that,

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<v Speaker 1>I don't want to out a company unless it was

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<v Speaker 1>it could have been a mistake, and I, you know,

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<v Speaker 1>optimistic Brittany is saying it's a mistake.

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<v Speaker 2>And it's a Sunday. Businesses aren't open to respond within

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<v Speaker 2>you know, an eight hour working day on a Sunday.

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<v Speaker 2>I feel like that was a very smart route. However,

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<v Speaker 2>if it was Laura Man and maybe in a different story.

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<v Speaker 1>I put this on my Instagram and I sort of

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<v Speaker 1>shared my story. I can't believe, Laura, you would be shook.

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<v Speaker 1>How many people wrote to me saying that this exact

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<v Speaker 1>thing happened them, that they have been scammed by a

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<v Speaker 1>removalist specifically, and I was just gobsmacked. One person in particular, God,

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<v Speaker 1>their whole house worth a property picked up, like a

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<v Speaker 1>full bedroom, like a big house to move, and they

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<v Speaker 1>were not moving locally, not in the same city. It

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<v Speaker 1>was like an interstate move. And so you know, like

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<v Speaker 1>the removeless goes and you drive as well, you meet

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<v Speaker 1>them there like a day later, or however long it takes.

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<v Speaker 1>It never came to this day.

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<v Speaker 3>Imagine getting ghosted by your removal.

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<v Speaker 1>They have, they got their whole house is worth a

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<v Speaker 1>furniture We've got ghosted. Imagine trying to move into state.

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<v Speaker 1>And so I guess this is a scam. People taking

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<v Speaker 1>all this furniture, and I guess that they just drive

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<v Speaker 1>away and they must have like a dark web that

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<v Speaker 1>they sell everything on.

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<v Speaker 2>I mean, it's the perfect crime, right You just put

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<v Speaker 2>it in a car, you say yeah, I'll meet you

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<v Speaker 2>at the other side, and you just never show up.

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<v Speaker 3>Oh, can't text you back.

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<v Speaker 1>It's so fucked.

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<v Speaker 2>You've all you all need to keep your wits about

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<v Speaker 2>you when it comes to your dating ghosting and you're

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<v Speaker 2>remov less ghosting.

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<v Speaker 1>Everyone ghosts you these days. Anyway, once I find out

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<v Speaker 1>in a couple of days if it was a scam

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<v Speaker 1>or not, because I'm like now they're in business hours,

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<v Speaker 1>I'm going to try and keep trying to contact them.

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<v Speaker 1>I still feel positive. I'm very optimistic that it was

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<v Speaker 1>a missunderstanding.

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<v Speaker 2>You will know about it on Thursday's episode if it wasn't,

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<v Speaker 2>because we will docks them.

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<v Speaker 3>We're coming for you.

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<v Speaker 1>I beg you the real estate to give me an

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<v Speaker 1>extra day in the house. I was like, you don't

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<v Speaker 1>have a choice. I was like, physically, the prop the

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<v Speaker 1>fetisures in there and I can't get it out. Give

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<v Speaker 1>me another day, and I spent an I started to

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<v Speaker 1>move all night on my own. I've just got a

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<v Speaker 1>little car, but I just loaded what I could up,

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<v Speaker 1>drove it back, went back, drove back. There's another I've

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<v Speaker 1>got someone from Air Tasker, this young lad helping me

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<v Speaker 1>this afternoon. Bless his soul. Bless Air Tasker. But I'll

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<v Speaker 1>let you know on Thursday if I hear anything.

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<v Speaker 2>It's just reminds me of you UNI days, where you

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<v Speaker 2>would just always do everything yourself. You just move, even

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<v Speaker 2>if it was like the world's heaviest I was gonna

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<v Speaker 2>say king there, but ain't.

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<v Speaker 3>No UNI students got a king bed like you.

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<v Speaker 1>Just kick just think or maybe you just do it.

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<v Speaker 2>You just figure it out, You get your friends, and

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<v Speaker 2>you would do it all yourself. And that is where

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<v Speaker 2>we're at again. Well, there was something else that we

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<v Speaker 2>wanted to talk to you about before we get into

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<v Speaker 2>today's episode. But today's episode so that you know what

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<v Speaker 2>it is, that we're talking about. We are talking to

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<v Speaker 2>doctor Julie Smith, who is a TikTok sensation, but she's

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<v Speaker 2>also a clinical psychologist, and this conversation today is all

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<v Speaker 2>around motivation, procrastination, how we deal with anxiety, our moods.

0:09:08.520 --> 0:09:11.840
<v Speaker 2>She covers so many different topics via her TikTok channels,

0:09:12.120 --> 0:09:14.000
<v Speaker 2>all around creating better mental health.

0:09:14.080 --> 0:09:17.360
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, I am the ultimate Laura. I think you are

0:09:17.400 --> 0:09:19.000
<v Speaker 1>as well, but I think you can attest to this.

0:09:19.360 --> 0:09:23.680
<v Speaker 1>I am a huge procrastinator. I don't understand the psychology

0:09:23.760 --> 0:09:25.720
<v Speaker 1>behind it, because it's not that I don't want to

0:09:25.760 --> 0:09:26.800
<v Speaker 1>do something.

0:09:26.600 --> 0:09:28.080
<v Speaker 2>It's just that I want to spend four hours on

0:09:28.120 --> 0:09:29.319
<v Speaker 2>Instagram scrolling.

0:09:29.559 --> 0:09:32.360
<v Speaker 1>For me, it's the motivation, Like I need a pressure

0:09:32.360 --> 0:09:35.400
<v Speaker 1>cooker environment to perform really well. Like I can still

0:09:35.400 --> 0:09:37.160
<v Speaker 1>get a job done, but when I know that there's

0:09:37.160 --> 0:09:38.959
<v Speaker 1>an end date and there's something ticking and you've got

0:09:39.000 --> 0:09:41.560
<v Speaker 1>hours left, like when you cram for a mass exam

0:09:41.640 --> 0:09:43.680
<v Speaker 1>or something at school, that's where I get shit done.

0:09:43.760 --> 0:09:45.360
<v Speaker 1>But when I've got all the time in the world,

0:09:45.720 --> 0:09:47.600
<v Speaker 1>I'm like, now, I'll do it later, I'll do this.

0:09:47.720 --> 0:09:50.520
<v Speaker 1>I'll I better clean out the dust from my light shade,

0:09:50.559 --> 0:09:53.040
<v Speaker 1>like I find anything else that there could possibly be

0:09:53.160 --> 0:09:54.320
<v Speaker 1>to do before I do a job.

0:09:54.400 --> 0:09:55.920
<v Speaker 2>But I think that that was kind of partly what

0:09:56.000 --> 0:09:59.400
<v Speaker 2>tied into this conversation is that we sometimes expect that

0:09:59.440 --> 0:10:02.199
<v Speaker 2>motivation is going to hit us. We sometimes expect, oh,

0:10:02.360 --> 0:10:04.559
<v Speaker 2>when I feel ready to do that task, I'll finally

0:10:04.559 --> 0:10:07.160
<v Speaker 2>get myself to do it. And this is all around

0:10:07.200 --> 0:10:09.560
<v Speaker 2>how you can't just wait for the feeling before you

0:10:09.640 --> 0:10:12.120
<v Speaker 2>take action. I think there are so many people out

0:10:12.120 --> 0:10:16.600
<v Speaker 2>there who would relate to that feeling that they procrastinate, procrastinate, procrastinate,

0:10:16.640 --> 0:10:19.800
<v Speaker 2>and then leave everything to the last hour. And Julie

0:10:19.800 --> 0:10:22.560
<v Speaker 2>does go into the reasoning behind the psychology behind why

0:10:22.600 --> 0:10:26.080
<v Speaker 2>we do that, what factors motivate us in those very

0:10:26.160 --> 0:10:27.800
<v Speaker 2>last minutes, why it is that we kind of get

0:10:27.800 --> 0:10:29.959
<v Speaker 2>that kick in the ass, But just also some tools

0:10:29.960 --> 0:10:32.360
<v Speaker 2>that you can implement in order to not leave everything

0:10:32.360 --> 0:10:33.760
<v Speaker 2>to the last fucking minute, a little.

0:10:33.559 --> 0:10:35.480
<v Speaker 1>Bit of like impulse control too, like when you want

0:10:35.480 --> 0:10:38.240
<v Speaker 1>to do something like textrax, why you probably shouldn't.

0:10:37.960 --> 0:10:38.960
<v Speaker 3>And moderation.

0:10:39.400 --> 0:10:41.440
<v Speaker 2>But before we get into talking about all of that,

0:10:41.480 --> 0:10:43.000
<v Speaker 2>there is something else that we wanted to cover.

0:10:43.320 --> 0:10:43.480
<v Speaker 3>Now.

0:10:43.520 --> 0:10:46.320
<v Speaker 2>This is a story that was discussed in December and January,

0:10:46.360 --> 0:10:50.640
<v Speaker 2>and it was Kim Kardashian and a photo of her child, Chicago,

0:10:50.800 --> 0:10:53.240
<v Speaker 2>and also of her niece. There was lots of speculation

0:10:53.320 --> 0:10:55.720
<v Speaker 2>that she had taken the face of her niece True

0:10:56.040 --> 0:10:59.360
<v Speaker 2>and photoshopped it onto a photo of her other niece, Stormy,

0:10:59.640 --> 0:11:01.640
<v Speaker 2>so that you could post this photo of her daughter

0:11:01.880 --> 0:11:05.480
<v Speaker 2>and Stormy together at Disneyland fucking weird, like it was

0:11:05.640 --> 0:11:08.320
<v Speaker 2>weird behavior then. But it has come back to life

0:11:08.360 --> 0:11:12.960
<v Speaker 2>because Kim Kardashian has finally spoken about this elusive photo.

0:11:13.080 --> 0:11:15.080
<v Speaker 1>Well, yeah, so this is one little photo. If you

0:11:15.160 --> 0:11:17.520
<v Speaker 1>haven't been following the saga for the last couple of months, I,

0:11:17.679 --> 0:11:19.640
<v Speaker 1>in all honesty, I missed it when it happened, so

0:11:19.720 --> 0:11:21.760
<v Speaker 1>in January, I missed it. I'm only catching wind of

0:11:21.760 --> 0:11:24.160
<v Speaker 1>this saga now when Kim has come out and started

0:11:24.160 --> 0:11:27.280
<v Speaker 1>to defend herself. But you will see the photo of Disneyland.

0:11:27.280 --> 0:11:30.560
<v Speaker 1>You'll see the photo of True and Chicago. It's a

0:11:30.679 --> 0:11:33.040
<v Speaker 1>very cute photo. It is very very beautiful, and she

0:11:33.120 --> 0:11:35.840
<v Speaker 1>talked about how you know they had such a great

0:11:35.920 --> 0:11:38.640
<v Speaker 1>day at Disneyland. The reason has come to light now

0:11:38.880 --> 0:11:42.720
<v Speaker 1>is Chloe Kardashian just took her daughter True, who was

0:11:42.720 --> 0:11:45.400
<v Speaker 1>in this who was photoshopped into this photo. She just

0:11:45.400 --> 0:11:47.720
<v Speaker 1>took her daughter True to Disneyland and she put it

0:11:47.760 --> 0:11:51.959
<v Speaker 1>on her Instagram and she said, True's first time at Disneyland,

0:11:52.080 --> 0:11:54.320
<v Speaker 1>and the whole world's gone, hang on, We've seen a

0:11:54.400 --> 0:11:57.199
<v Speaker 1>photo months ago of True at Disneyland, and then they've

0:11:57.280 --> 0:12:00.559
<v Speaker 1>caught on to the fact that it's been photo shopped.

0:12:01.200 --> 0:12:03.280
<v Speaker 1>The world went up in arms and they couldn't And

0:12:03.320 --> 0:12:07.079
<v Speaker 1>it's actually funny. Once it all exploded, Klobe Kardashian was like, oh, oh,

0:12:07.280 --> 0:12:08.720
<v Speaker 1>I just fucking fucked something up.

0:12:08.760 --> 0:12:10.680
<v Speaker 3>She literally said, well I fucked with this one up,

0:12:10.720 --> 0:12:11.120
<v Speaker 3>didn't she?

0:12:11.240 --> 0:12:14.559
<v Speaker 1>Which is I think, I think this is really fucking funny.

0:12:14.960 --> 0:12:17.280
<v Speaker 1>I know it's very problematic, and I know there are

0:12:17.280 --> 0:12:19.400
<v Speaker 1>a lot of underlying issues that come with it, but

0:12:19.480 --> 0:12:21.400
<v Speaker 1>as a whole you have to see back and laugh

0:12:21.440 --> 0:12:25.120
<v Speaker 1>and the extreme lengths this family the Kardashians go to

0:12:25.920 --> 0:12:30.160
<v Speaker 1>for their Instagram for content, for content, it's it's ludicrous.

0:12:30.240 --> 0:12:32.200
<v Speaker 2>So basically, if you look at this photo and like,

0:12:32.240 --> 0:12:33.720
<v Speaker 2>I feel like you need to pull it up, like

0:12:33.800 --> 0:12:38.400
<v Speaker 2>just google Kim Kardashian photoshop a disney Land, It'll come up.

0:12:38.440 --> 0:12:40.000
<v Speaker 2>It's like the numb it's the number one thing. It's

0:12:40.000 --> 0:12:42.559
<v Speaker 2>been talked about the last three days. You can see it.

0:12:42.480 --> 0:12:44.200
<v Speaker 3>Actually is a pretty bloody good photoshop.

0:12:44.320 --> 0:12:45.920
<v Speaker 2>Let me say, like I would not if I was

0:12:45.960 --> 0:12:48.600
<v Speaker 2>scrolling Instagram, I would not have thought that another little

0:12:48.600 --> 0:12:52.440
<v Speaker 2>girl's face was photoshopped onto her niece's body. I would

0:12:52.480 --> 0:12:53.280
<v Speaker 2>not have thought that.

0:12:53.160 --> 0:12:55.280
<v Speaker 1>It's immaculate, it's beautiful photo.

0:12:55.480 --> 0:12:58.200
<v Speaker 2>However, people who are absolutely eagle eyed, because there's so

0:12:58.280 --> 0:13:00.560
<v Speaker 2>many people who follow the Kardashians who are actually just

0:13:00.600 --> 0:13:02.520
<v Speaker 2>a little bit crazy and a little bit obsessed and

0:13:02.600 --> 0:13:06.000
<v Speaker 2>follow every single intrinsic thing about the photos trying to

0:13:06.040 --> 0:13:08.880
<v Speaker 2>find fault. And if you look really closely, you can

0:13:08.880 --> 0:13:11.160
<v Speaker 2>see that most of the photo is actually a little

0:13:11.200 --> 0:13:14.600
<v Speaker 2>bit blurry, like Chicago is blurry. The hand of the

0:13:14.920 --> 0:13:17.560
<v Speaker 2>niece who the niece's body which is stormy, and the

0:13:17.600 --> 0:13:21.600
<v Speaker 2>face that's True's True's face is like crystal clear, like

0:13:21.640 --> 0:13:25.360
<v Speaker 2>it is perfectly in focus, whereas the hand and the

0:13:25.360 --> 0:13:27.360
<v Speaker 2>body is a little bit out of focus like the

0:13:27.400 --> 0:13:30.040
<v Speaker 2>rest of the photo. And that's where people started calling, Okay,

0:13:30.040 --> 0:13:32.559
<v Speaker 2>maybe this there was something wrong here. But Kim Karashian

0:13:32.600 --> 0:13:34.920
<v Speaker 2>has actually come out and she has admitted that she

0:13:34.960 --> 0:13:38.920
<v Speaker 2>photoshop one niece's face onto another niece's body, and this

0:13:38.960 --> 0:13:42.240
<v Speaker 2>is what she had to say about it. She goes, oh, okay,

0:13:42.600 --> 0:13:46.000
<v Speaker 2>so this one has some serious explaining. Now, you know,

0:13:46.200 --> 0:13:49.280
<v Speaker 2>I am all about my esthetic and my Instagram grid

0:13:49.360 --> 0:13:50.680
<v Speaker 2>is pink and blue lately.

0:13:50.920 --> 0:13:53.280
<v Speaker 3>Isn't it so cute and well planned out? Well?

0:13:53.480 --> 0:13:56.920
<v Speaker 2>The original picks were stormy, However, I asked at Kylie

0:13:57.000 --> 0:13:59.240
<v Speaker 2>Jenna if I could post them, and she said no.

0:13:59.760 --> 0:14:02.480
<v Speaker 2>She wasn't really feeling posting at that moment, and so

0:14:02.640 --> 0:14:05.240
<v Speaker 2>I respect that, but it wasn't going to mess up

0:14:05.320 --> 0:14:09.800
<v Speaker 2>my Instagram feed. Chicago was wearing pink and it matched perfectly,

0:14:10.120 --> 0:14:13.440
<v Speaker 2>Chicago being Kim Kardashian's daughter. It wasn't the aesthetic I

0:14:13.520 --> 0:14:15.240
<v Speaker 2>was going for, and I can own up to that.

0:14:15.559 --> 0:14:17.920
<v Speaker 2>You know how much a good aesthetic means to my soul,

0:14:18.000 --> 0:14:20.120
<v Speaker 2>and I will be damned if Kylie will ruin that

0:14:20.200 --> 0:14:23.520
<v Speaker 2>for me and mess up my Instagram grid. So thank you,

0:14:23.600 --> 0:14:25.640
<v Speaker 2>True for taking one for the team on this one.

0:14:25.760 --> 0:14:27.560
<v Speaker 2>I didn't think it would be that big a deal

0:14:27.640 --> 0:14:29.640
<v Speaker 2>if her own mom questioned if I had snuck her

0:14:29.680 --> 0:14:32.320
<v Speaker 2>away to Disneyland for the first time or not. So basically,

0:14:32.560 --> 0:14:34.840
<v Speaker 2>even Chloe had responded and she was like, hold on

0:14:34.880 --> 0:14:37.280
<v Speaker 2>a second, did you take her to Disneyland. She didn't

0:14:37.280 --> 0:14:39.480
<v Speaker 2>even know that the photoshopping was being done, which is

0:14:39.560 --> 0:14:41.840
<v Speaker 2>kind of weird in the first place, Like she didn't

0:14:41.880 --> 0:14:45.720
<v Speaker 2>even ask her sister if she could photoshop her sister's

0:14:45.840 --> 0:14:47.600
<v Speaker 2>kid onto the photo that she was posting.

0:14:47.640 --> 0:14:49.520
<v Speaker 1>Well, it sort of contradicts what she did in the

0:14:49.520 --> 0:14:53.120
<v Speaker 1>first place, because she asked one sister, Kylie if she

0:14:53.120 --> 0:14:55.440
<v Speaker 1>could post store me. He said no, So instead of

0:14:55.560 --> 0:14:58.840
<v Speaker 1>asking she could post true, she just went photoshopped her in.

0:14:58.920 --> 0:15:00.000
<v Speaker 1>So it doesn't even make sense.

0:15:00.040 --> 0:15:02.080
<v Speaker 2>Well, the reason for this, actually it does make sense

0:15:02.080 --> 0:15:04.000
<v Speaker 2>if you do a bit of digging around timelines, is

0:15:04.040 --> 0:15:06.960
<v Speaker 2>because it was all happening at the same time that

0:15:07.160 --> 0:15:11.080
<v Speaker 2>Travis Scott, who is Kylie's partner, was in the news

0:15:11.160 --> 0:15:13.640
<v Speaker 2>and being called out for the huge tragedy that happened

0:15:13.680 --> 0:15:16.160
<v Speaker 2>at Astro World. So Kylie was trying to lay low

0:15:16.280 --> 0:15:19.360
<v Speaker 2>on social media, not to draw more attention, and that's

0:15:19.440 --> 0:15:22.160
<v Speaker 2>the reason why Kim had asked her. But she obviously

0:15:22.240 --> 0:15:24.160
<v Speaker 2>was like, sorry, any of my pink and blue.

0:15:24.480 --> 0:15:27.000
<v Speaker 1>I mean, it's so funny, but if I was going

0:15:27.000 --> 0:15:29.200
<v Speaker 1>to like you would think the number one rule. Right,

0:15:29.320 --> 0:15:33.280
<v Speaker 1>if you were trying to do a photoshop trickery, awesome now,

0:15:33.320 --> 0:15:34.960
<v Speaker 1>But if you were going to pull the trickery on

0:15:35.000 --> 0:15:37.120
<v Speaker 1>your Instagram, you don't have a thousand followers, right, you

0:15:37.200 --> 0:15:40.080
<v Speaker 1>have three hundred million or something ludicrous between them, they

0:15:40.160 --> 0:15:42.280
<v Speaker 1>have like a billion followers. If you were trying to

0:15:42.680 --> 0:15:46.400
<v Speaker 1>trick your audience, you would at least make sure all

0:15:46.400 --> 0:15:49.280
<v Speaker 1>the parties involved know about it, because this is what happened. Like,

0:15:49.280 --> 0:15:52.640
<v Speaker 1>wouldn't you just say, hey, Kloe, heads up, I'm just

0:15:52.680 --> 0:15:55.040
<v Speaker 1>gonna put True's face like True went to Disneyland today,

0:15:55.080 --> 0:15:56.760
<v Speaker 1>just so you know, like, just run with that story.

0:15:56.880 --> 0:15:59.640
<v Speaker 1>Wouldn't you just make sure all the parties are involved?

0:16:00.160 --> 0:16:03.240
<v Speaker 2>You just take another fucking photo, Like if you're only

0:16:03.360 --> 0:16:06.400
<v Speaker 2>post if you're only posting the photo because of aesthetics

0:16:06.440 --> 0:16:09.920
<v Speaker 2>because it matches your grid, take take another photo.

0:16:09.760 --> 0:16:12.200
<v Speaker 1>Only just say just yeah, just be like yo, Chicago,

0:16:12.240 --> 0:16:14.080
<v Speaker 1>go and stand over here next to this pink balloon,

0:16:14.160 --> 0:16:15.200
<v Speaker 1>like because Pink's my jam.

0:16:15.360 --> 0:16:16.960
<v Speaker 2>Although when I did see this, there was a moment

0:16:17.000 --> 0:16:18.320
<v Speaker 2>to me, and I feel like other moms might be

0:16:18.320 --> 0:16:20.760
<v Speaker 2>able to relate to this. There are so many cute

0:16:20.800 --> 0:16:23.880
<v Speaker 2>photos of my sister with my kids and every source,

0:16:23.920 --> 0:16:25.480
<v Speaker 2>and I'm like, oh, I wish that photo was of

0:16:25.520 --> 0:16:27.800
<v Speaker 2>me with my kids. So maybe I could just photoshop

0:16:27.800 --> 0:16:30.120
<v Speaker 2>my face offto my sister's body and no one will know.

0:16:30.400 --> 0:16:32.040
<v Speaker 1>I think, no, But this is the thing, and this

0:16:32.080 --> 0:16:35.320
<v Speaker 1>is why I'm laughing. Yes, it's problematic, and it's problematic

0:16:35.320 --> 0:16:37.720
<v Speaker 1>because it has recently come out in the last week

0:16:37.800 --> 0:16:40.080
<v Speaker 1>or so that not only did she photoshop, but she

0:16:40.120 --> 0:16:41.800
<v Speaker 1>had to change the color of her skin, So she's

0:16:41.800 --> 0:16:44.880
<v Speaker 1>photoshopped her skin darker because that's what would match. So

0:16:44.920 --> 0:16:46.840
<v Speaker 1>a lot of people are up in arms saying, do

0:16:46.960 --> 0:16:49.080
<v Speaker 1>you know how wrong it is to be altering your

0:16:49.160 --> 0:16:51.760
<v Speaker 1>child's skin to match your aesthetic? Like you are fucked up?

0:16:52.120 --> 0:16:55.160
<v Speaker 1>And I agree that side of it is fucked up.

0:16:55.200 --> 0:16:57.400
<v Speaker 2>She also changed the pants from orange to pink as well, though,

0:16:57.440 --> 0:16:58.960
<v Speaker 2>so that's a girl is dedicated.

0:17:00.000 --> 0:17:01.760
<v Speaker 1>And this is why it's funny. You have to sit

0:17:01.800 --> 0:17:03.800
<v Speaker 1>back and laugh at the whole thing because it's so ridiculous.

0:17:03.880 --> 0:17:04.720
<v Speaker 3>I think it's not funny.

0:17:04.920 --> 0:17:08.000
<v Speaker 2>I think it is so incredibly sad that yes, it's

0:17:08.000 --> 0:17:11.120
<v Speaker 2>funny sad, and I understand that they are a very

0:17:11.160 --> 0:17:14.520
<v Speaker 2>special breed of people. Their entire careers, their entire income

0:17:14.960 --> 0:17:19.160
<v Speaker 2>has been very carefully created and curated based on who

0:17:19.160 --> 0:17:21.200
<v Speaker 2>they are as people, like they are their own products.

0:17:21.359 --> 0:17:24.280
<v Speaker 2>But I think it is incredibly sad that their children

0:17:24.960 --> 0:17:28.080
<v Speaker 2>are a part of that commodity, that their children become

0:17:28.119 --> 0:17:30.399
<v Speaker 2>part of the esthetic. And it's not actually about posting

0:17:30.400 --> 0:17:32.520
<v Speaker 2>a nice photo of your child, but it's about posting

0:17:32.560 --> 0:17:35.560
<v Speaker 2>a photo that suits a brand. And that's kind of

0:17:35.560 --> 0:17:37.199
<v Speaker 2>where things feel a bit icky for me.

0:17:37.400 --> 0:17:39.199
<v Speaker 1>That is horrible, and that is really sad. And the

0:17:39.280 --> 0:17:42.840
<v Speaker 1>saddest part is that these kids are never ever going

0:17:42.880 --> 0:17:44.879
<v Speaker 1>to know differently, and they don't have a chance to

0:17:44.920 --> 0:17:48.760
<v Speaker 1>know differently. Imagine growing up and looking back at your

0:17:48.800 --> 0:17:52.440
<v Speaker 1>photos and not knowing what was real? Did I really

0:17:52.480 --> 0:17:52.720
<v Speaker 1>do that?

0:17:52.800 --> 0:17:53.040
<v Speaker 3>Mum?

0:17:53.160 --> 0:17:54.920
<v Speaker 1>Was I really there? Was I on that plane? Did

0:17:54.920 --> 0:17:57.240
<v Speaker 1>I go to the Palmas? Is that means that staw me?

0:17:57.280 --> 0:17:58.359
<v Speaker 1>Is that Chicago? Is that like?

0:17:58.800 --> 0:18:00.679
<v Speaker 2>And then Kim's gonna say, shut up and look at

0:18:00.720 --> 0:18:02.680
<v Speaker 2>your Porsche. You're fourteen, just go and enjoy it. And

0:18:02.720 --> 0:18:04.880
<v Speaker 2>I'd be like, yes, okay, I can take that too.

0:18:05.080 --> 0:18:06.879
<v Speaker 1>But in terms of what you just said, like you

0:18:06.960 --> 0:18:08.760
<v Speaker 1>wish that sometimes like you might get a nice photo

0:18:08.800 --> 0:18:10.520
<v Speaker 1>with your sister, and you wish you could photoshop them in.

0:18:10.840 --> 0:18:12.560
<v Speaker 1>This isn't the first time this family has done that,

0:18:12.800 --> 0:18:14.960
<v Speaker 1>And but these things I think are funny, right, it

0:18:15.000 --> 0:18:17.560
<v Speaker 1>can be more innocent. Kim Kardashian's been called out a

0:18:17.560 --> 0:18:20.439
<v Speaker 1>few times for her family portraits where one of the

0:18:20.560 --> 0:18:24.000
<v Speaker 1>children having photoshops. They've got a really beautiful photo. Everyone like,

0:18:24.240 --> 0:18:26.600
<v Speaker 1>I think the six of them for kids, everyone's looking

0:18:26.600 --> 0:18:29.080
<v Speaker 1>really good. But there have been times where people have

0:18:29.080 --> 0:18:31.280
<v Speaker 1>called them out for one of the children being photoshopped in,

0:18:31.359 --> 0:18:33.200
<v Speaker 1>and she's like, well, I'm going to admit to this.

0:18:33.720 --> 0:18:36.160
<v Speaker 1>They were screaming and crying, they couldn't get in the picture,

0:18:36.240 --> 0:18:37.800
<v Speaker 1>so I just got a nice picture of them later

0:18:37.840 --> 0:18:39.560
<v Speaker 1>and put it in so I had a family portrait.

0:18:39.600 --> 0:18:42.440
<v Speaker 2>No, one hundred percent, I have Okay, any mum will

0:18:42.480 --> 0:18:45.280
<v Speaker 2>relate to this if you try and do family photos

0:18:45.320 --> 0:18:48.639
<v Speaker 2>with your children, even normal photography. Like I've taken Lola

0:18:48.720 --> 0:18:51.120
<v Speaker 2>and Mary and we've done family photos just for us,

0:18:51.440 --> 0:18:54.000
<v Speaker 2>and the photographers will say, oh, don't worry if Lola's

0:18:54.040 --> 0:18:55.600
<v Speaker 2>not smiling in this one, I'll just take her head

0:18:55.600 --> 0:18:57.800
<v Speaker 2>from another photo and drop it in so she's so

0:18:57.880 --> 0:19:01.200
<v Speaker 2>she's facing the right way. So it happens to normal people.

0:19:01.000 --> 0:19:03.040
<v Speaker 1>And you probably didn't bat an eyelid, right, You're probably like,

0:19:03.080 --> 0:19:04.560
<v Speaker 1>oh cool, and I just put the smiling one in.

0:19:04.760 --> 0:19:07.160
<v Speaker 2>Please drop, please drop her better head on her body,

0:19:07.240 --> 0:19:09.520
<v Speaker 2>and if you could put Kylie Jenner's face on mine too,

0:19:09.560 --> 0:19:10.280
<v Speaker 2>that would be great.

0:19:11.560 --> 0:19:11.840
<v Speaker 1>Okay.

0:19:11.880 --> 0:19:14.040
<v Speaker 2>There have also been some other speculations that she's just

0:19:14.080 --> 0:19:16.240
<v Speaker 2>so we're really down a rabbit hole of Kim Kardashian

0:19:16.280 --> 0:19:19.320
<v Speaker 2>photoshopping photos. There have been some photos that have come

0:19:19.320 --> 0:19:21.960
<v Speaker 2>out where people have been saying that she has photoshopped

0:19:22.000 --> 0:19:25.320
<v Speaker 2>the jawline of Pete Davidson recently to make him look

0:19:25.400 --> 0:19:26.280
<v Speaker 2>more masculine.

0:19:26.400 --> 0:19:29.320
<v Speaker 3>No one is safe, Brittany, no one.

0:19:29.920 --> 0:19:31.000
<v Speaker 1>It's so funny.

0:19:31.000 --> 0:19:33.280
<v Speaker 4>For like, if you want your partner to look like

0:19:33.359 --> 0:19:35.400
<v Speaker 4>someone else, to date someone else.

0:19:35.240 --> 0:19:37.440
<v Speaker 3>Like, I love you, but I want you to look

0:19:37.480 --> 0:19:38.360
<v Speaker 3>hotter if.

0:19:38.240 --> 0:19:41.000
<v Speaker 1>My partner imagine this, Laura, Imagine.

0:19:40.640 --> 0:19:43.200
<v Speaker 3>If Matt photoshop bigger titties on me.

0:19:43.320 --> 0:19:45.640
<v Speaker 1>Yes, put a photo of you are, but change your face,

0:19:45.720 --> 0:19:48.040
<v Speaker 1>put some boobs on you, tucked you in here. Imagine

0:19:48.040 --> 0:19:49.560
<v Speaker 1>if and you didn't know, and you just saw a

0:19:49.560 --> 0:19:49.960
<v Speaker 1>photo of you.

0:19:50.000 --> 0:19:52.000
<v Speaker 2>And you're like, I swear to God, has not me

0:19:52.280 --> 0:19:54.199
<v Speaker 2>i'd be like, damn, you see some potential that is

0:19:54.240 --> 0:19:54.640
<v Speaker 2>not there.

0:19:55.080 --> 0:19:57.560
<v Speaker 1>But one last thing I want to add, I'm very

0:19:57.600 --> 0:20:00.040
<v Speaker 1>proud to say. I don't know if I'm proud. I

0:20:00.080 --> 0:20:03.800
<v Speaker 1>followed the Kardashians on like Instagram, and because their life

0:20:03.880 --> 0:20:06.840
<v Speaker 1>is fascinating, you cannot It's like nothing else in the

0:20:06.880 --> 0:20:09.240
<v Speaker 1>world that we have ever seen. But I have only

0:20:09.440 --> 0:20:12.320
<v Speaker 1>just because I recently ran out of things to watch online.

0:20:12.760 --> 0:20:16.440
<v Speaker 1>I only just have watched the first two episodes ever

0:20:16.640 --> 0:20:18.800
<v Speaker 1>of any season of Keeping Up with the Kardashians. I

0:20:18.800 --> 0:20:20.800
<v Speaker 1>have never in all the years there's twenty season, I've

0:20:20.800 --> 0:20:23.320
<v Speaker 1>never watched anything, and I get it. I was two

0:20:23.320 --> 0:20:25.679
<v Speaker 1>episodes in and I was hooked. I was like, I

0:20:25.720 --> 0:20:26.800
<v Speaker 1>need to know what happens. Man.

0:20:26.960 --> 0:20:28.720
<v Speaker 2>I've seen it and I still don't know which ones

0:20:28.760 --> 0:20:30.200
<v Speaker 2>which I get them wrong all the time.

0:20:31.400 --> 0:20:34.240
<v Speaker 3>Do not? Chloe is Courtney to me? And I don't know.

0:20:34.280 --> 0:20:36.240
<v Speaker 3>The only one I know is Kim. But anyway, let's

0:20:36.320 --> 0:20:37.600
<v Speaker 3>get into our.

0:20:37.440 --> 0:20:41.800
<v Speaker 2>Favorite part of every episode, which is accidentally unfiltered.

0:20:42.240 --> 0:20:44.480
<v Speaker 1>Okay, I just want to kick this one off with.

0:20:44.720 --> 0:20:46.879
<v Speaker 1>I just thought this was really cute. It's this is

0:20:47.400 --> 0:20:50.679
<v Speaker 1>absolutely there's nothing dirty about this. There's nothing through g

0:20:50.880 --> 0:20:53.960
<v Speaker 1>rated accidentally unfiltered, don't we it's so g rated. But

0:20:54.000 --> 0:20:55.920
<v Speaker 1>I just thought I was just like rooting for us.

0:20:56.240 --> 0:20:58.600
<v Speaker 1>You can't make this shit up. I own a small

0:20:58.640 --> 0:21:00.960
<v Speaker 1>massage studio and I was about to have my very

0:21:01.000 --> 0:21:03.600
<v Speaker 1>first client of the day, so I started getting organized.

0:21:03.680 --> 0:21:06.320
<v Speaker 1>I connected my phone to the speaker for some background music,

0:21:06.359 --> 0:21:09.080
<v Speaker 1>like I always do. My first client arrived and I

0:21:09.119 --> 0:21:11.360
<v Speaker 1>showed her in. I told her to get ready, hop

0:21:11.400 --> 0:21:13.000
<v Speaker 1>onto the table, and you know you come back in

0:21:13.040 --> 0:21:15.800
<v Speaker 1>ten minutes. When I gently knocked on the door to

0:21:15.840 --> 0:21:18.280
<v Speaker 1>see if she was ready, I opened up, walked in,

0:21:18.359 --> 0:21:21.199
<v Speaker 1>and to my horror, I had cued an episode of

0:21:21.280 --> 0:21:25.320
<v Speaker 1>Life Uncut, quite unprofessional on my behalf. Because let's be real,

0:21:25.359 --> 0:21:27.840
<v Speaker 1>we all know what you guys talk about. I began

0:21:27.880 --> 0:21:29.040
<v Speaker 1>apologizing profusely.

0:21:29.240 --> 0:21:31.119
<v Speaker 2>If it was last week's episode. It was all about

0:21:31.160 --> 0:21:32.840
<v Speaker 2>do you stick? Do you have an enema before you

0:21:32.880 --> 0:21:33.639
<v Speaker 2>have anal sex?

0:21:33.960 --> 0:21:34.760
<v Speaker 3>And I hope it was.

0:21:34.960 --> 0:21:37.080
<v Speaker 4>Imagine you're a professional and you've got someone on your

0:21:37.080 --> 0:21:39.600
<v Speaker 4>massage table, and that's what starts playing. I started to

0:21:39.640 --> 0:21:43.000
<v Speaker 4>apologize profusely, being quite aware of how much time had

0:21:43.040 --> 0:21:45.560
<v Speaker 4>already gone past. She stopped me as I was just

0:21:45.600 --> 0:21:47.600
<v Speaker 4>about to change it and said, I haven't heard this

0:21:47.640 --> 0:21:48.080
<v Speaker 4>one yet.

0:21:48.160 --> 0:21:49.800
<v Speaker 1>Lets let's listen to it.

0:21:51.760 --> 0:21:54.280
<v Speaker 4>So I massaged this absolutely legend of a woman for

0:21:54.320 --> 0:21:56.240
<v Speaker 4>an hour listening to Life Uncut.

0:21:56.320 --> 0:21:57.639
<v Speaker 1>We both absolutely loved it.

0:21:57.880 --> 0:21:59.159
<v Speaker 3>That is very cute.

0:21:59.280 --> 0:22:01.199
<v Speaker 1>I just thought it was. It's really really cute that

0:22:01.240 --> 0:22:03.359
<v Speaker 1>she was like, oh my god, I'm about to get fired.

0:22:03.440 --> 0:22:05.760
<v Speaker 1>I've just started playing anal sex to my client and

0:22:05.800 --> 0:22:07.200
<v Speaker 1>she's like, no, I haven't heard this one yet.

0:22:08.840 --> 0:22:10.719
<v Speaker 3>And she took home a tip or two. That's what

0:22:10.760 --> 0:22:12.240
<v Speaker 3>she did. Actually, do you know what?

0:22:12.280 --> 0:22:15.320
<v Speaker 2>We had so many people write in post the enema conversation,

0:22:15.760 --> 0:22:18.600
<v Speaker 2>and apparently it is very much the way to go

0:22:19.000 --> 0:22:23.000
<v Speaker 2>in same sex relationships. It's like heterosexual couples and not

0:22:23.080 --> 0:22:26.840
<v Speaker 2>across the joys and the benefits of having an enema.

0:22:27.400 --> 0:22:28.679
<v Speaker 1>And this is what I was saying in out. We

0:22:28.720 --> 0:22:30.480
<v Speaker 1>had like a behind the scenes commo about that, and

0:22:30.520 --> 0:22:33.160
<v Speaker 1>I was like, yes, guys, everyone in same sex relationships

0:22:33.200 --> 0:22:35.000
<v Speaker 1>this is standard and everyone he went four, are you like?

0:22:35.040 --> 0:22:35.399
<v Speaker 1>Fuck that?

0:22:35.600 --> 0:22:38.600
<v Speaker 2>She was like, so much effort, so much effort to

0:22:38.640 --> 0:22:39.160
<v Speaker 2>have an enema.

0:22:39.320 --> 0:22:40.359
<v Speaker 1>I'm just gonna have a surprise.

0:22:40.400 --> 0:22:42.960
<v Speaker 3>When could be a paddle popstick who knows.

0:22:45.840 --> 0:22:49.360
<v Speaker 2>Okay, I actually could have too, because I've got two

0:22:49.359 --> 0:22:49.840
<v Speaker 2>funny ones.

0:22:49.840 --> 0:22:52.840
<v Speaker 3>But maybe we'll see another one. All right, this is

0:22:52.920 --> 0:22:53.359
<v Speaker 3>very short.

0:22:53.440 --> 0:22:55.680
<v Speaker 2>This week I bumped into one of my managers outside

0:22:55.720 --> 0:22:58.000
<v Speaker 2>of work who was walking his dog. I said hi,

0:22:58.320 --> 0:23:01.919
<v Speaker 2>and I crouched down to pat the dog. My manager said, oh, sorry,

0:23:02.359 --> 0:23:03.480
<v Speaker 2>he's a little bit of a liquor.

0:23:03.760 --> 0:23:05.120
<v Speaker 3>I looked up, looked.

0:23:04.960 --> 0:23:06.880
<v Speaker 2>Him dead in the eye, and instead of saying, oh,

0:23:06.920 --> 0:23:09.760
<v Speaker 2>that's okay, my dog too, I just said that's okay,

0:23:10.080 --> 0:23:14.320
<v Speaker 2>me too, to her boss.

0:23:14.119 --> 0:23:15.840
<v Speaker 1>That's so we're so innocent today.

0:23:15.920 --> 0:23:17.159
<v Speaker 3>This is so cute.

0:23:18.040 --> 0:23:20.280
<v Speaker 1>Okay, I've got one more than's not. I mean, this

0:23:20.400 --> 0:23:24.000
<v Speaker 1>is also innocent, but can you imagine how uncomfortable'd be? Okay, guys,

0:23:24.000 --> 0:23:26.119
<v Speaker 1>this is one for my fourteen year old daughters twenty

0:23:26.160 --> 0:23:29.720
<v Speaker 1>first or maybe even her fiftieth. My daughter is super

0:23:29.800 --> 0:23:35.240
<v Speaker 1>sporty and gets really tight calves. She always comes into

0:23:35.320 --> 0:23:38.000
<v Speaker 1>our room right before bed, as do all of our

0:23:38.040 --> 0:23:40.399
<v Speaker 1>four kids. She gives us a hug and she says

0:23:40.440 --> 0:23:43.600
<v Speaker 1>good night. One night, when her calves must have been

0:23:43.680 --> 0:23:46.720
<v Speaker 1>really sore, she came in and she reaches for what

0:23:46.840 --> 0:23:50.000
<v Speaker 1>she assumed was massage oil. Proceeds to loob up her

0:23:50.040 --> 0:23:52.640
<v Speaker 1>calf muscle and then asks her dad to massage her

0:23:52.760 --> 0:23:57.040
<v Speaker 1>legs on. At this point, the options weren't looking good.

0:23:57.200 --> 0:24:00.360
<v Speaker 1>One we could either explain that it was lou which

0:24:00.359 --> 0:24:01.840
<v Speaker 1>in turn we would have to have a very open

0:24:01.840 --> 0:24:04.479
<v Speaker 1>conversation about what lube was. Four white was on our

0:24:04.520 --> 0:24:06.840
<v Speaker 1>bedside table and mortify the shit out of us and

0:24:06.960 --> 0:24:09.760
<v Speaker 1>our poor kid. Two we allow her to think it

0:24:09.800 --> 0:24:12.879
<v Speaker 1>was massage oil have dad massage her leg with said lube.

0:24:12.920 --> 0:24:15.879
<v Speaker 1>We decided on the ladder, which sounds completely inappropriate, but

0:24:16.080 --> 0:24:18.160
<v Speaker 1>his hand on heart, I swear on my laugh.

0:24:17.960 --> 0:24:19.200
<v Speaker 3>The most innocent of She's the.

0:24:19.160 --> 0:24:21.560
<v Speaker 1>Most innocent thing we could do. We weren't ready to

0:24:21.640 --> 0:24:23.720
<v Speaker 1>have the chat, so we let this one slide. And

0:24:23.760 --> 0:24:25.880
<v Speaker 1>I haven't yet told her. I'm sure one day she'll

0:24:25.880 --> 0:24:27.639
<v Speaker 1>figure it out for herself, and I'm not ready for

0:24:27.680 --> 0:24:31.639
<v Speaker 1>that moment. Could imagine the dad having to have a

0:24:31.640 --> 0:24:33.560
<v Speaker 1>straight look in his face when she hands him lube

0:24:33.560 --> 0:24:35.919
<v Speaker 1>from their bedside table and says, massage my calf muscle.

0:24:36.240 --> 0:24:38.480
<v Speaker 3>I mean it would be very effective, though I would

0:24:38.520 --> 0:24:40.160
<v Speaker 3>be great, great, but also my.

0:24:40.160 --> 0:24:42.520
<v Speaker 1>Dad's never massage my calf muscles. I feel short chained

0:24:42.520 --> 0:24:43.960
<v Speaker 1>with lube.

0:24:46.760 --> 0:24:49.160
<v Speaker 2>All right, guys, let's get into the chat with doctor

0:24:49.240 --> 0:24:52.640
<v Speaker 2>Julie quickly interrupting the episode to say a very big

0:24:52.680 --> 0:24:53.960
<v Speaker 2>thank you to today's sponsor.

0:24:54.000 --> 0:24:56.119
<v Speaker 1>And that is one I've been wearing holes in for

0:24:56.160 --> 0:24:57.719
<v Speaker 1>a long time. It's a new Balance.

0:24:58.040 --> 0:24:58.200
<v Speaker 3>Now.

0:24:58.240 --> 0:25:00.600
<v Speaker 1>If you're a runner, which I do try to do,

0:25:00.880 --> 0:25:02.359
<v Speaker 1>we have some great news for you.

0:25:02.640 --> 0:25:04.360
<v Speaker 2>I mean, you're a very good runner. You were doing

0:25:04.400 --> 0:25:06.000
<v Speaker 2>like the cross marathon thing last year.

0:25:06.080 --> 0:25:07.679
<v Speaker 1>Oh I wouldn't say I'm good. I did it, but

0:25:07.760 --> 0:25:08.040
<v Speaker 1>it was.

0:25:08.000 --> 0:25:11.680
<v Speaker 2>Hard, mate. I struggle, but I try. I'm that person

0:25:11.680 --> 0:25:13.399
<v Speaker 2>that everyone looks at who runs down the street.

0:25:13.440 --> 0:25:15.639
<v Speaker 1>But I have Delilah. Now she's a working dog, so

0:25:15.760 --> 0:25:17.840
<v Speaker 1>I have to run more than I have ever had

0:25:17.880 --> 0:25:20.080
<v Speaker 1>to run. And this is where New Balance comes in

0:25:20.160 --> 0:25:22.800
<v Speaker 1>handy because they have just released their twelfth version of

0:25:22.840 --> 0:25:25.320
<v Speaker 1>their Fresh Foam X range of shoe and you're going

0:25:25.359 --> 0:25:27.520
<v Speaker 1>to want to get these bad boys on your feet.

0:25:27.640 --> 0:25:30.439
<v Speaker 1>The new styles are the ten eighty V twelve, the

0:25:30.600 --> 0:25:33.800
<v Speaker 1>eight eighty V twelve, the eight sixty V twelve and

0:25:33.880 --> 0:25:36.399
<v Speaker 1>these are the shoes that are for every kind of runner.

0:25:36.600 --> 0:25:38.199
<v Speaker 2>It doesn't matter if you're a great runner or not.

0:25:38.280 --> 0:25:40.159
<v Speaker 2>The one thing that is so amazing for is for

0:25:40.160 --> 0:25:42.320
<v Speaker 2>your mental health. And I like to get out there

0:25:42.320 --> 0:25:44.439
<v Speaker 2>with Buster and actulutely gribb at a crack And if

0:25:44.440 --> 0:25:47.440
<v Speaker 2>I'm not running, I'm walking. And these shoes are seriously

0:25:47.600 --> 0:25:50.240
<v Speaker 2>just the most comfortable thing ever. If New Balance were

0:25:50.240 --> 0:25:52.960
<v Speaker 2>to make only one running shoe ever again, it would

0:25:53.000 --> 0:25:55.600
<v Speaker 2>be the Fresh Foam ten eighty v. Twelve because it

0:25:55.680 --> 0:25:58.200
<v Speaker 2>is their most comfortable running shoe.

0:25:58.280 --> 0:26:00.719
<v Speaker 1>But in all seriousness, it is for levels. Maybe you're

0:26:00.720 --> 0:26:02.560
<v Speaker 1>doing an ultra marathon or maybe you're just going for

0:26:02.600 --> 0:26:04.920
<v Speaker 1>a walk with your dog. There is something for everyone, a.

0:26:04.880 --> 0:26:06.200
<v Speaker 3>Power walk with your praym.

0:26:06.800 --> 0:26:09.600
<v Speaker 1>You can purchase the Fresh Frome XV twelve collection by

0:26:09.640 --> 0:26:12.440
<v Speaker 1>visiting New Balance dot com dot au. Now let's get

0:26:12.440 --> 0:26:13.480
<v Speaker 1>back into the episode.

0:26:14.240 --> 0:26:16.960
<v Speaker 2>We're so excited to have doctor Julie Smith joining us today.

0:26:17.000 --> 0:26:19.840
<v Speaker 2>Now that doctor Julie is a clinical psychologist, she is

0:26:20.000 --> 0:26:23.360
<v Speaker 2>also a TikTok star who has recently released her new

0:26:23.400 --> 0:26:26.800
<v Speaker 2>book Why Has Nobody Told Me This Before? Doctor Julie

0:26:26.800 --> 0:26:30.040
<v Speaker 2>now has three point one million followers on TikTok, six

0:26:30.119 --> 0:26:33.080
<v Speaker 2>hundred and eighty eight thousand followers on Instagram, and her

0:26:33.119 --> 0:26:35.680
<v Speaker 2>posts have already a massed more than twenty million likes.

0:26:35.920 --> 0:26:38.480
<v Speaker 2>The book is a mental health toolbox for when we

0:26:38.560 --> 0:26:41.760
<v Speaker 2>need some help to take on different challenges. Welcome to

0:26:41.840 --> 0:26:42.520
<v Speaker 2>life on cut.

0:26:42.560 --> 0:26:44.080
<v Speaker 5>Oh thanks for having me, guys.

0:26:44.040 --> 0:26:47.920
<v Speaker 1>Julie, you're a pretty famous TikTok superstar, aren't you. How

0:26:47.960 --> 0:26:48.720
<v Speaker 1>did that happen?

0:26:49.119 --> 0:26:51.160
<v Speaker 6>It's got a bit wild in such a short time

0:26:51.200 --> 0:26:52.879
<v Speaker 6>as well. I think it's like two and a bit

0:26:53.000 --> 0:26:55.480
<v Speaker 6>years ago that we decided to put a few videos

0:26:55.760 --> 0:26:58.840
<v Speaker 6>online and see what happened. And I did not expect this.

0:26:58.880 --> 0:26:59.920
<v Speaker 6>I thought it was going to be one of those

0:27:00.200 --> 0:27:03.240
<v Speaker 6>of temporary little projects that you do and then it

0:27:03.359 --> 0:27:06.520
<v Speaker 6>sort of, you know, filters out, But it just took

0:27:06.560 --> 0:27:08.000
<v Speaker 6>off like a rocket, and I feel like I'm just

0:27:08.000 --> 0:27:09.560
<v Speaker 6>sort of holding on for dear life.

0:27:09.680 --> 0:27:12.439
<v Speaker 1>How did everything take off? How did you become this

0:27:12.600 --> 0:27:16.560
<v Speaker 1>TikTok superstar sensation? Was it just one video that went

0:27:16.680 --> 0:27:18.560
<v Speaker 1>viral or was it a series of videos?

0:27:18.600 --> 0:27:21.480
<v Speaker 2>And as Brittany, as you answer this question, Brittany's googling

0:27:21.480 --> 0:27:23.199
<v Speaker 2>how to start a TikTok and she's just trying to

0:27:23.200 --> 0:27:24.400
<v Speaker 2>get some hot chips on this song.

0:27:24.520 --> 0:27:26.240
<v Speaker 1>I don't know how to just tick tactalk me.

0:27:26.960 --> 0:27:29.040
<v Speaker 6>Yeah, you know what it was through a mistake. I

0:27:29.600 --> 0:27:31.680
<v Speaker 6>did put a video on, and I'd only put on

0:27:31.720 --> 0:27:33.720
<v Speaker 6>a few to be honest. It took off quite quickly,

0:27:33.760 --> 0:27:36.639
<v Speaker 6>but the first video that got lots of views, I

0:27:37.200 --> 0:27:39.040
<v Speaker 6>put music on, and I was such a novice at

0:27:39.080 --> 0:27:41.439
<v Speaker 6>using it all. I didn't realize you could change the

0:27:41.840 --> 0:27:44.040
<v Speaker 6>either sort of volume and stuff. So the music was

0:27:44.080 --> 0:27:46.320
<v Speaker 6>too loud. So everybody was in the comment saying I

0:27:46.320 --> 0:27:48.160
<v Speaker 6>had to listen to it three times because the music's

0:27:48.160 --> 0:27:48.480
<v Speaker 6>too loud.

0:27:48.480 --> 0:27:49.359
<v Speaker 5>I can't hear what you said.

0:27:49.640 --> 0:27:51.960
<v Speaker 6>So obviously lots of kind of rewatch and stuff like

0:27:52.000 --> 0:27:53.000
<v Speaker 6>that did well for.

0:27:52.920 --> 0:27:55.160
<v Speaker 1>It, So that's how I got so many views.

0:27:55.320 --> 0:27:58.199
<v Speaker 6>Yes, that was my first blow up, so you know,

0:27:58.720 --> 0:28:01.359
<v Speaker 6>mistakes help, right, But also you know, it was about

0:28:01.359 --> 0:28:05.320
<v Speaker 6>a month before the pandemic started and a couple months

0:28:05.320 --> 0:28:08.040
<v Speaker 6>before the first lockdown and everything, so I think it's

0:28:08.080 --> 0:28:10.680
<v Speaker 6>probably timing was a big issue, and you know, lots

0:28:10.680 --> 0:28:13.240
<v Speaker 6>of people online expressing their distress, but no one was

0:28:13.280 --> 0:28:15.959
<v Speaker 6>really on there as a professional saying here are some

0:28:16.000 --> 0:28:18.639
<v Speaker 6>things you could do that would help. So yeah, I

0:28:18.720 --> 0:28:21.520
<v Speaker 6>think swimming against the tide at the time probably, How.

0:28:21.480 --> 0:28:24.800
<v Speaker 2>I mean, we don't often see complex mental health issues

0:28:25.000 --> 0:28:28.560
<v Speaker 2>like depression, like anxiety taken and discussed on a social

0:28:28.600 --> 0:28:31.359
<v Speaker 2>media platform in a way that succinct and gets the

0:28:31.359 --> 0:28:34.440
<v Speaker 2>point across. I mean, these are topics that normally are

0:28:34.520 --> 0:28:37.280
<v Speaker 2>more conducive for talking about in long form content, like

0:28:37.320 --> 0:28:40.120
<v Speaker 2>maybe on a podcast, but you managed to capture that

0:28:40.360 --> 0:28:43.680
<v Speaker 2>in these bite sized little bits of content. How is

0:28:43.680 --> 0:28:45.520
<v Speaker 2>it that you're able to communicate this And what was

0:28:45.560 --> 0:28:48.760
<v Speaker 2>it about TikTok that made you want to take clinical

0:28:48.800 --> 0:28:50.800
<v Speaker 2>psychology onto a social media platform?

0:28:51.040 --> 0:28:51.240
<v Speaker 3>Yeah?

0:28:51.280 --> 0:28:53.400
<v Speaker 6>I mean it has felt like I've been definitely swimming

0:28:53.400 --> 0:28:55.560
<v Speaker 6>against the tide. I couldn't find anyone else who was

0:28:56.120 --> 0:28:58.800
<v Speaker 6>doing that kind of thing, certainly psychologists anyway, who were doing.

0:28:58.680 --> 0:28:59.120
<v Speaker 5>That kind of thing.

0:28:59.160 --> 0:29:01.640
<v Speaker 6>When we first started, initially started, we were going to

0:29:01.800 --> 0:29:03.560
<v Speaker 6>put some videos on YouTube and things like that, and

0:29:03.560 --> 0:29:05.520
<v Speaker 6>they were about the videos are about ten minutes long,

0:29:05.560 --> 0:29:07.040
<v Speaker 6>and I would kind of explain this thing that I

0:29:07.040 --> 0:29:09.440
<v Speaker 6>would explain in therapy and take my time over it.

0:29:09.520 --> 0:29:12.400
<v Speaker 6>And then my husband discovered TikTok. I was like, oh,

0:29:12.640 --> 0:29:14.600
<v Speaker 6>this could be a really great idea. You know, why

0:29:14.600 --> 0:29:17.400
<v Speaker 6>not make bite size kind of videos? And my initial

0:29:17.400 --> 0:29:20.000
<v Speaker 6>thought was no way, I just there's no way, you can,

0:29:20.240 --> 0:29:23.120
<v Speaker 6>you know, slim this stuff down that much without destroying

0:29:23.160 --> 0:29:25.440
<v Speaker 6>the idea. And he said, well, you know, let's just

0:29:25.440 --> 0:29:27.160
<v Speaker 6>give it a shot and see what happens, and if

0:29:27.200 --> 0:29:29.080
<v Speaker 6>it doesn't work out, we'll just delete it, you know.

0:29:29.120 --> 0:29:29.920
<v Speaker 5>And so we.

0:29:29.920 --> 0:29:32.800
<v Speaker 6>Tried, and actually, it really gets you to the point

0:29:32.840 --> 0:29:34.840
<v Speaker 6>where you know, you have to strip down all the jargon,

0:29:35.480 --> 0:29:38.280
<v Speaker 6>anything that's sort of unnecessary to the message, all that

0:29:38.360 --> 0:29:41.560
<v Speaker 6>kind of fluff around your language. Just take it out

0:29:41.840 --> 0:29:44.400
<v Speaker 6>and see what you've got left. And actually sometimes it's

0:29:44.440 --> 0:29:47.440
<v Speaker 6>even more powerful than including more and more words that.

0:29:47.400 --> 0:29:47.960
<v Speaker 5>You don't need.

0:29:48.080 --> 0:29:50.440
<v Speaker 6>So it became a bit of a kind of creative

0:29:50.520 --> 0:29:52.840
<v Speaker 6>challenge if you like, as well, because often there are

0:29:52.880 --> 0:29:55.920
<v Speaker 6>these subjects that they're not sexy, they're not really kind

0:29:55.960 --> 0:29:58.920
<v Speaker 6>of grabbing your attention. But the two of us would

0:29:58.920 --> 0:30:01.320
<v Speaker 6>work together on, okay, we'll this message that could be

0:30:01.400 --> 0:30:04.240
<v Speaker 6>really useful to a bunch of people. How do we

0:30:04.280 --> 0:30:06.760
<v Speaker 6>make it more engaging and more interesting, and how can

0:30:06.800 --> 0:30:09.360
<v Speaker 6>we bring it alive with I don't know, music or

0:30:09.560 --> 0:30:12.200
<v Speaker 6>you know, different kind of camera tricks or whatever we're doing.

0:30:12.360 --> 0:30:14.240
<v Speaker 6>And so we just, yeah, we just played around with

0:30:14.280 --> 0:30:16.200
<v Speaker 6>it and learned through trial and error the kind of

0:30:16.240 --> 0:30:17.360
<v Speaker 6>content that we wanted to do.

0:30:17.440 --> 0:30:19.920
<v Speaker 1>I guess I think it's really great that you are

0:30:20.000 --> 0:30:22.160
<v Speaker 1>an early adopter in this space. You did see a

0:30:22.200 --> 0:30:25.200
<v Speaker 1>space and you capitalized on it, and hats off to you.

0:30:25.280 --> 0:30:27.280
<v Speaker 1>But I think the fact of the matter is a

0:30:27.320 --> 0:30:29.360
<v Speaker 1>lot of people go on the Internet and they google

0:30:29.440 --> 0:30:31.600
<v Speaker 1>things for themselves. I've been guilty of it. I know

0:30:31.760 --> 0:30:32.560
<v Speaker 1>my mum and dad.

0:30:32.360 --> 0:30:34.959
<v Speaker 3>Do it a lot, just to google cancer.

0:30:36.960 --> 0:30:39.160
<v Speaker 1>But you go and say like, hey, what's wrong with me?

0:30:39.320 --> 0:30:41.320
<v Speaker 1>How do I deal with this? What is the what

0:30:41.360 --> 0:30:43.960
<v Speaker 1>are these symptoms? And there's so much complex terminology around

0:30:44.000 --> 0:30:47.840
<v Speaker 1>it that sometimes the information we're receiving ads to our

0:30:47.960 --> 0:30:49.960
<v Speaker 1>overwhelmed and people are like, fuck it, I'm not even

0:30:50.000 --> 0:30:51.480
<v Speaker 1>going to go and get the help that I need

0:30:51.680 --> 0:30:54.160
<v Speaker 1>because it's too much. I don't understand it, it's too complicated,

0:30:54.240 --> 0:30:55.640
<v Speaker 1>it's too stressful. I'm going to leave it.

0:30:55.840 --> 0:30:56.600
<v Speaker 5>Yeah, hugely.

0:30:56.680 --> 0:30:58.480
<v Speaker 6>And it was one of the sort of big questions

0:30:58.520 --> 0:31:01.200
<v Speaker 6>I got from like journalists stuff like that, when all

0:31:01.200 --> 0:31:04.640
<v Speaker 6>this interest started to sort of appear and I was

0:31:04.720 --> 0:31:07.240
<v Speaker 6>working with people one to one in my therapy room

0:31:07.800 --> 0:31:09.600
<v Speaker 6>and I could only help one person at a time,

0:31:10.080 --> 0:31:12.720
<v Speaker 6>and I wanted to share this education, and I think

0:31:12.760 --> 0:31:15.200
<v Speaker 6>in order to reach a big audience. The most effective

0:31:15.240 --> 0:31:17.480
<v Speaker 6>way to do that is to go where everybody's attention is.

0:31:17.960 --> 0:31:20.479
<v Speaker 6>You know, if you stand outside of an arena and

0:31:20.480 --> 0:31:23.719
<v Speaker 6>bang your drum instead of going inside where everybody's you know,

0:31:23.800 --> 0:31:26.520
<v Speaker 6>looking at you, then your message is not going to.

0:31:26.440 --> 0:31:27.040
<v Speaker 5>Be as effective.

0:31:27.120 --> 0:31:29.400
<v Speaker 6>So I kind of felt like I could either sit

0:31:29.400 --> 0:31:32.640
<v Speaker 6>in my therapy room and complain about how damaging that

0:31:32.680 --> 0:31:35.040
<v Speaker 6>stuff can be and how much misinformation is out there,

0:31:35.600 --> 0:31:38.240
<v Speaker 6>or I could get stuck in, get involved, and put

0:31:38.280 --> 0:31:42.120
<v Speaker 6>something out there that was evidence based and potentially helpful,

0:31:42.160 --> 0:31:45.120
<v Speaker 6>so that if someone is scrolling, they had a chance

0:31:45.200 --> 0:31:48.360
<v Speaker 6>then of either coming across you know, my material over

0:31:48.960 --> 0:31:50.000
<v Speaker 6>something else that might.

0:31:49.840 --> 0:31:51.360
<v Speaker 5>Be misinformation for example.

0:31:51.640 --> 0:31:53.360
<v Speaker 6>And you know a lot of my videos have been

0:31:53.400 --> 0:31:56.120
<v Speaker 6>around sort of reminding people that social media isn't real

0:31:56.200 --> 0:31:58.760
<v Speaker 6>and what they see isn't often real, and you know,

0:31:58.840 --> 0:32:01.920
<v Speaker 6>comparison and those things just to kind of highlight, you know,

0:32:02.000 --> 0:32:05.200
<v Speaker 6>while you're on here, have think about how you feel

0:32:05.240 --> 0:32:07.600
<v Speaker 6>when you spend time on a certain profile. So trying

0:32:07.640 --> 0:32:09.880
<v Speaker 6>to sort of build people's awareness around Okay, if you're

0:32:09.920 --> 0:32:12.920
<v Speaker 6>going to be on this platform, use it to your advantage.

0:32:13.040 --> 0:32:14.760
<v Speaker 6>Don't let it use you.

0:32:14.760 --> 0:32:17.240
<v Speaker 2>You write something and I really loved this quote, and

0:32:17.280 --> 0:32:18.920
<v Speaker 2>I would love for you to expand on this a

0:32:18.920 --> 0:32:21.160
<v Speaker 2>little bit more for our listeners. What you said was,

0:32:21.240 --> 0:32:23.440
<v Speaker 2>every time you choose a path that is not in

0:32:23.480 --> 0:32:26.320
<v Speaker 2>your best interests, you confirm your belief that you do

0:32:26.400 --> 0:32:27.320
<v Speaker 2>not deserve better.

0:32:27.880 --> 0:32:32.720
<v Speaker 6>So your actions influence your beliefs about yourself. So often

0:32:32.760 --> 0:32:35.120
<v Speaker 6>we talk about sort of core beliefs and beliefs that

0:32:35.160 --> 0:32:37.640
<v Speaker 6>you have that then impact on the choices you make,

0:32:37.760 --> 0:32:41.280
<v Speaker 6>which is true, but it's circulus. So also the way

0:32:41.280 --> 0:32:44.640
<v Speaker 6>that you behave will influence on how you feel about yourself.

0:32:44.680 --> 0:32:46.360
<v Speaker 5>So when we're talking about trying.

0:32:46.160 --> 0:32:49.360
<v Speaker 6>To change people's beliefs, so if someone believes they're no

0:32:49.480 --> 0:32:52.280
<v Speaker 6>good or that they don't deserve good things, then we

0:32:52.360 --> 0:32:56.080
<v Speaker 6>behave as if that's true. But the way to change

0:32:56.080 --> 0:32:58.240
<v Speaker 6>that is not to sit in a therapy room and

0:32:58.600 --> 0:33:01.040
<v Speaker 6>try and hash out those beliefs and try and change

0:33:01.040 --> 0:33:04.160
<v Speaker 6>the beliefs. The way that we change beliefs is through action.

0:33:04.680 --> 0:33:08.120
<v Speaker 6>You know, your brain learns through evidence of experience. So

0:33:08.760 --> 0:33:12.240
<v Speaker 6>if you start to behave and treat yourself in a

0:33:12.280 --> 0:33:14.640
<v Speaker 6>way that is consistent with the new beliefs that you

0:33:14.640 --> 0:33:17.800
<v Speaker 6>would like to hold about yourself, then you create this

0:33:17.920 --> 0:33:21.480
<v Speaker 6>opportunity for those beliefs to begin to adjust and change.

0:33:21.480 --> 0:33:24.120
<v Speaker 6>And it's not easy and it's not quick. It takes time,

0:33:24.160 --> 0:33:26.840
<v Speaker 6>and it takes lots of effort because actually acting in

0:33:26.880 --> 0:33:28.640
<v Speaker 6>a way that is not in line with what you

0:33:28.720 --> 0:33:31.520
<v Speaker 6>believe is really hard and takes lots of conscious effort.

0:33:31.800 --> 0:33:33.440
<v Speaker 5>But yeah, if you feel.

0:33:33.160 --> 0:33:36.400
<v Speaker 6>Like you're being held back by negative beliefs about yourself,

0:33:36.760 --> 0:33:40.000
<v Speaker 6>then essentially the way forward from that is action and

0:33:40.120 --> 0:33:43.000
<v Speaker 6>starting to behave as if you're someone you really care about.

0:33:43.200 --> 0:33:45.320
<v Speaker 2>We have actually spoken about something similar to this on

0:33:45.360 --> 0:33:48.960
<v Speaker 2>the podcast before, and it's this idea that sometimes actions

0:33:49.080 --> 0:33:52.160
<v Speaker 2>actually precede feelings, Like often we don't want to do

0:33:52.200 --> 0:33:54.560
<v Speaker 2>something because we don't feel a certain way, whether it

0:33:54.600 --> 0:33:56.840
<v Speaker 2>be maybe you don't want to be intimate with your

0:33:56.880 --> 0:33:59.040
<v Speaker 2>partner or you know, maybe you feel frustrated so you

0:33:59.080 --> 0:34:01.160
<v Speaker 2>don't want to touch them and be loving towards them,

0:34:01.520 --> 0:34:05.440
<v Speaker 2>But often the action of being loving and doing that

0:34:05.560 --> 0:34:08.400
<v Speaker 2>can then bring that feeling on. Sometimes we expect too

0:34:08.480 --> 0:34:10.560
<v Speaker 2>much that our feelings are going to be the motivating

0:34:10.560 --> 0:34:12.960
<v Speaker 2>actor when actually we need to take action and then

0:34:13.000 --> 0:34:14.000
<v Speaker 2>those feelings follow.

0:34:14.440 --> 0:34:18.240
<v Speaker 6>Yeah, yeah, absolutely, And a lot of people will wait

0:34:18.360 --> 0:34:20.719
<v Speaker 6>for a feeling to arrive and sort of you know,

0:34:20.760 --> 0:34:22.719
<v Speaker 6>this kind of idea of waiting until you feel like

0:34:22.800 --> 0:34:25.920
<v Speaker 6>it that when I feel ready, I will do xoyl Z,

0:34:26.080 --> 0:34:27.920
<v Speaker 6>or I will start chasing my dreams and those kind

0:34:27.960 --> 0:34:30.239
<v Speaker 6>of things, or I will start making changes that I

0:34:30.280 --> 0:34:32.400
<v Speaker 6>need know I need to make, And a lot of

0:34:32.400 --> 0:34:34.799
<v Speaker 6>my work has been around you know, don't wait for

0:34:34.840 --> 0:34:37.480
<v Speaker 6>that feeling because it's not coming to get you. It's

0:34:37.560 --> 0:34:39.799
<v Speaker 6>not coming to help you. That feeling of kind of

0:34:39.880 --> 0:34:43.319
<v Speaker 6>motivation and drive and energy that's the feeling you get

0:34:43.400 --> 0:34:45.440
<v Speaker 6>after you come out the gym, not when you're walking in.

0:34:45.800 --> 0:34:48.200
<v Speaker 6>You know, when you kind of you do something that

0:34:48.320 --> 0:34:50.759
<v Speaker 6>is so in line with who you want to be

0:34:50.840 --> 0:34:52.520
<v Speaker 6>in the future and the kind of person you want

0:34:52.560 --> 0:34:54.520
<v Speaker 6>to be that it gives you this real sort of

0:34:54.600 --> 0:34:57.799
<v Speaker 6>high that says, yes, I should do this every day

0:34:57.880 --> 0:35:00.000
<v Speaker 6>because it feels good, it feels right, and it feel

0:35:00.160 --> 0:35:02.200
<v Speaker 6>in line with the life I want to have. And

0:35:02.280 --> 0:35:05.759
<v Speaker 6>so we have to be able to override that urge

0:35:05.840 --> 0:35:09.200
<v Speaker 6>not to do it for whatever reason, fear or anything else,

0:35:09.440 --> 0:35:12.360
<v Speaker 6>and start and be willing to do it imperfectly in

0:35:12.400 --> 0:35:15.760
<v Speaker 6>the beginning, so that we get some momentum and build

0:35:15.800 --> 0:35:18.840
<v Speaker 6>a routine and new habits, and then we get the benefits,

0:35:18.840 --> 0:35:20.680
<v Speaker 6>the emotional benefits of that change.

0:35:21.400 --> 0:35:22.879
<v Speaker 5>Somewhere along the way on this.

0:35:22.920 --> 0:35:25.319
<v Speaker 1>Topic of you know, sometimes you might not feel like

0:35:25.400 --> 0:35:28.080
<v Speaker 1>doing something, but if you go out there and action it,

0:35:28.160 --> 0:35:30.400
<v Speaker 1>then maybe the feeling will come. We get a lot

0:35:30.440 --> 0:35:32.520
<v Speaker 1>of questions about breakups and moving on and how do

0:35:32.560 --> 0:35:33.799
<v Speaker 1>you know when you're ready? How do you know when

0:35:33.800 --> 0:35:36.080
<v Speaker 1>it's time to get back into the dating world, online dating,

0:35:36.120 --> 0:35:39.839
<v Speaker 1>physical dating, all of those things. How do you know

0:35:40.239 --> 0:35:42.200
<v Speaker 1>when you're ready to do it? Are we supposed to

0:35:42.400 --> 0:35:45.040
<v Speaker 1>wait for this feeling to say, yes, well I'm ready,

0:35:45.200 --> 0:35:47.359
<v Speaker 1>or are we supposed to say I don't really feel ready,

0:35:47.360 --> 0:35:49.520
<v Speaker 1>but maybe if I just go throw myself out there,

0:35:49.600 --> 0:35:50.560
<v Speaker 1>those feelings will come.

0:35:50.880 --> 0:35:53.520
<v Speaker 6>I guess it depends on what's happened to you in

0:35:54.080 --> 0:35:57.879
<v Speaker 6>terms of how that previous relationship ended and whether that's

0:35:57.920 --> 0:36:00.319
<v Speaker 6>something you need to spend time healing from. You know,

0:36:00.360 --> 0:36:03.760
<v Speaker 6>if it was a relationship that wasn't especially life changing

0:36:03.880 --> 0:36:06.720
<v Speaker 6>for that person, or you know, if that person didn't

0:36:06.719 --> 0:36:08.919
<v Speaker 6>mean everything to you and you weren't together for years

0:36:08.920 --> 0:36:10.840
<v Speaker 6>and years and years, or then it might be easier

0:36:10.840 --> 0:36:11.640
<v Speaker 6>to get back out there.

0:36:11.680 --> 0:36:12.920
<v Speaker 5>And but for other people.

0:36:13.160 --> 0:36:15.560
<v Speaker 6>They might be in a situation where they are heartbroken,

0:36:15.880 --> 0:36:18.480
<v Speaker 6>or there are things that have happened in that relationship

0:36:18.520 --> 0:36:20.680
<v Speaker 6>that they then need to heal from and take time

0:36:20.719 --> 0:36:23.200
<v Speaker 6>over to reflect on and learn from, partly to avoid

0:36:23.200 --> 0:36:25.719
<v Speaker 6>getting into the same situation over and over again. So

0:36:25.960 --> 0:36:28.920
<v Speaker 6>I think, you know, everyone's different, and it's you know,

0:36:28.960 --> 0:36:30.799
<v Speaker 6>it's the kind of the answer no one really wants,

0:36:30.920 --> 0:36:32.960
<v Speaker 6>is it that it's different for everyone, and you know,

0:36:33.280 --> 0:36:34.000
<v Speaker 6>and that kind of thing.

0:36:34.040 --> 0:36:36.560
<v Speaker 1>Okay, give me the rule, give me an answer.

0:36:37.000 --> 0:36:39.680
<v Speaker 6>Yeah, give me a step like step. And I think

0:36:39.719 --> 0:36:43.160
<v Speaker 6>maybe the rule is self awareness is looking at you know,

0:36:43.680 --> 0:36:45.920
<v Speaker 6>how do I know when I'm not okay and I

0:36:45.960 --> 0:36:48.080
<v Speaker 6>need time to heal and how do I know when

0:36:48.760 --> 0:36:51.480
<v Speaker 6>when I'm ready for new adventure and to reconnect with

0:36:51.520 --> 0:36:54.160
<v Speaker 6>people again. And so I think maybe that's the rule,

0:36:54.239 --> 0:36:57.200
<v Speaker 6>is spending time with yourself and what that's taught you

0:36:57.320 --> 0:36:59.560
<v Speaker 6>about what you want for your future and the sorts

0:36:59.560 --> 0:37:01.160
<v Speaker 6>of relationships you want for the future.

0:37:01.320 --> 0:37:01.880
<v Speaker 5>And then if.

0:37:01.760 --> 0:37:04.959
<v Speaker 6>Everything feels raw and a bit heavy, then then maybe

0:37:04.960 --> 0:37:07.759
<v Speaker 6>that's a chance to sort of take some time to

0:37:07.800 --> 0:37:10.880
<v Speaker 6>look after yourself and then once you feel ready, you know,

0:37:10.960 --> 0:37:13.360
<v Speaker 6>making that decision to move forward again. But I think

0:37:13.640 --> 0:37:16.480
<v Speaker 6>maybe as well as asking yourself, am I making this

0:37:16.560 --> 0:37:18.280
<v Speaker 6>decision out of fear?

0:37:18.440 --> 0:37:18.520
<v Speaker 2>So?

0:37:18.800 --> 0:37:20.920
<v Speaker 6>Is it that I want a relationship? But I'm not

0:37:21.320 --> 0:37:24.399
<v Speaker 6>putting myself out there through fear, Because then I think

0:37:24.400 --> 0:37:26.279
<v Speaker 6>it's always a really good thing to ask yourself, Am

0:37:26.280 --> 0:37:28.160
<v Speaker 6>I making decisions based on my values and what I

0:37:28.160 --> 0:37:31.200
<v Speaker 6>want for my life? Or because I'm scared? And so

0:37:31.640 --> 0:37:33.480
<v Speaker 6>I think it's a good idea to try and make

0:37:33.520 --> 0:37:36.239
<v Speaker 6>your decisions based on your values as opposed to the

0:37:36.360 --> 0:37:38.080
<v Speaker 6>sort of what you're feeling right now or what you

0:37:38.080 --> 0:37:38.840
<v Speaker 6>don't want to feel.

0:37:39.120 --> 0:37:41.160
<v Speaker 1>So I guess maybe just really listen to your own

0:37:41.200 --> 0:37:43.399
<v Speaker 1>gun instinct, your own body, your own intuition. Yeah.

0:37:43.400 --> 0:37:44.920
<v Speaker 5>Absolutely doesn't need to be permanent, does it.

0:37:44.920 --> 0:37:46.399
<v Speaker 6>It's not like if I go out into the world,

0:37:46.400 --> 0:37:48.719
<v Speaker 6>then I have to stay out there. I can test

0:37:48.760 --> 0:37:53.560
<v Speaker 6>the water, see how I get on dipperter, and then

0:37:53.719 --> 0:37:55.880
<v Speaker 6>and then pull back and see and reflect on that.

0:37:56.120 --> 0:37:58.319
<v Speaker 6>And you know, because it might be that, you know,

0:37:58.360 --> 0:38:00.040
<v Speaker 6>maybe I want to meet people in this way, I

0:38:00.080 --> 0:38:01.480
<v Speaker 6>don't want to meet people in that way. Maybe I'm

0:38:01.560 --> 0:38:03.680
<v Speaker 6>just not okay with online dating, or maybe I'm just

0:38:03.760 --> 0:38:06.319
<v Speaker 6>not okay with something, you know, whatever, it is it's

0:38:06.440 --> 0:38:09.719
<v Speaker 6>okay to try things out in small ways, learn from it,

0:38:09.840 --> 0:38:10.879
<v Speaker 6>and then redirect.

0:38:11.239 --> 0:38:14.480
<v Speaker 2>You talk a lot about this idea of motivation and procrastination,

0:38:14.640 --> 0:38:16.760
<v Speaker 2>and this is something that you mentioned a little bit earlier,

0:38:16.800 --> 0:38:18.920
<v Speaker 2>but I wanted to circle back on this because I

0:38:18.960 --> 0:38:21.440
<v Speaker 2>do think that we can all feel very guilty for

0:38:21.600 --> 0:38:23.360
<v Speaker 2>doing it, and I think that we all do do

0:38:23.400 --> 0:38:26.200
<v Speaker 2>it from time to time, and that is procrastinate about something.

0:38:26.480 --> 0:38:28.319
<v Speaker 2>I mean, for me, I've been procrastinating for the last

0:38:28.400 --> 0:38:30.520
<v Speaker 2>year about getting back into exercise ever since I had

0:38:30.560 --> 0:38:34.120
<v Speaker 2>a child. Why do we as humans procrastinate or why

0:38:34.160 --> 0:38:36.759
<v Speaker 2>do we feel like we need to have motivation before

0:38:36.760 --> 0:38:38.560
<v Speaker 2>we actually start something.

0:38:38.680 --> 0:38:39.680
<v Speaker 5>I think that's probably a myth.

0:38:39.719 --> 0:38:43.240
<v Speaker 6>I think probably everybody has moments or situations where they'll

0:38:43.239 --> 0:38:46.400
<v Speaker 6>avoid something. I mean, as humans, we are built to

0:38:47.200 --> 0:38:52.000
<v Speaker 6>avoid discomfort. So whether that discomfort is boredom or stress

0:38:52.239 --> 0:38:55.520
<v Speaker 6>or anxiety, if we know that a situation is going

0:38:55.560 --> 0:38:59.080
<v Speaker 6>to create that emotional discomfort in us, then we're built

0:38:59.160 --> 0:39:01.600
<v Speaker 6>to step back from that and avoid it if we can.

0:39:01.760 --> 0:39:05.080
<v Speaker 6>So we're kind of going against our natural human urges

0:39:05.120 --> 0:39:08.400
<v Speaker 6>when we put ourselves in situations that make us feel vulnerable.

0:39:08.440 --> 0:39:09.640
<v Speaker 5>For example, so you.

0:39:09.600 --> 0:39:12.680
<v Speaker 6>Know, that thing might be exercise, or it might be

0:39:12.960 --> 0:39:15.440
<v Speaker 6>tackling the pile of bills or boring things that you

0:39:15.440 --> 0:39:17.440
<v Speaker 6>know you've got to deal with, or you know, updating

0:39:17.440 --> 0:39:19.399
<v Speaker 6>your insurance or all of those jobs that we all

0:39:19.440 --> 0:39:22.399
<v Speaker 6>hate that we procrastinate over. But yeah, I think we're

0:39:22.440 --> 0:39:25.080
<v Speaker 6>just built to avoid those difficult feedings.

0:39:25.080 --> 0:39:27.960
<v Speaker 1>I think, okay, firstly, just I'm going to probably busher

0:39:28.000 --> 0:39:29.400
<v Speaker 1>this word, but just correct me and tell me how

0:39:29.440 --> 0:39:32.920
<v Speaker 1>to pronounce it. You talk about something, is it anademia?

0:39:33.040 --> 0:39:33.560
<v Speaker 1>Is that right?

0:39:34.840 --> 0:39:35.080
<v Speaker 5>Yes?

0:39:35.200 --> 0:39:35.399
<v Speaker 3>Yes?

0:39:35.520 --> 0:39:38.800
<v Speaker 6>So in the book, I kind of distinguish between procrastination

0:39:38.880 --> 0:39:42.600
<v Speaker 6>and edonia. So anodenuous essentially a kind of symptom of depression.

0:39:42.640 --> 0:39:44.640
<v Speaker 6>So it's when you kind of lose interest in the

0:39:44.640 --> 0:39:47.400
<v Speaker 6>things that you used to enjoy. So if someone is

0:39:47.440 --> 0:39:51.080
<v Speaker 6>experiencing depression, they'll stop doing the things that even kind

0:39:51.080 --> 0:39:53.440
<v Speaker 6>of bring them pleasure because they just don't feel that

0:39:53.480 --> 0:39:55.759
<v Speaker 6>pleasure anymore. And often lots, you know, all of your

0:39:55.760 --> 0:39:58.239
<v Speaker 6>emotions are kind of dulled down, and you kind of

0:39:58.320 --> 0:40:00.279
<v Speaker 6>you just stop doing those things because you don't really

0:40:00.280 --> 0:40:02.480
<v Speaker 6>feel like it anymore. And I think that's kind of

0:40:02.560 --> 0:40:06.920
<v Speaker 6>then different to the procrastination, which is probably the avoidance

0:40:07.000 --> 0:40:10.520
<v Speaker 6>of an uncomfortable feeling. So yeah, I sort of distinguish

0:40:10.600 --> 0:40:12.840
<v Speaker 6>between the two of those. So rather than we have

0:40:12.920 --> 0:40:16.200
<v Speaker 6>that very human urge to kind of kick ourselves, well

0:40:16.200 --> 0:40:19.319
<v Speaker 6>we're down and criticize yourself for being lazy and all

0:40:19.320 --> 0:40:22.320
<v Speaker 6>that kind of thing, and actually, it's much more helpful

0:40:22.560 --> 0:40:25.919
<v Speaker 6>to look at a behavior with curiosity. So Okay, I'm

0:40:26.000 --> 0:40:29.520
<v Speaker 6>saying here, not tackling those bills, wishing that I was.

0:40:29.680 --> 0:40:33.040
<v Speaker 6>What is it that is pulling me back from that?

0:40:33.120 --> 0:40:34.799
<v Speaker 6>What is it that I'm avoiding or what am I?

0:40:35.280 --> 0:40:37.239
<v Speaker 6>You know, what's going on here? And that's much more

0:40:37.239 --> 0:40:39.160
<v Speaker 6>helpful to look at it with curiosity rather than just

0:40:39.239 --> 0:40:41.320
<v Speaker 6>label ourselves as a lazy person.

0:40:41.880 --> 0:40:45.279
<v Speaker 1>I don't think there is a correlation between procrastination, laziness,

0:40:45.320 --> 0:40:49.600
<v Speaker 1>and motivation because personally, for me, I'm the biggest procrastinator.

0:40:49.640 --> 0:40:52.640
<v Speaker 1>I know everything, everything possible. I wait to the last minute,

0:40:52.680 --> 0:40:54.200
<v Speaker 1>even just to go out to dinner. It is the

0:40:54.280 --> 0:40:56.360
<v Speaker 1>last minute possible that I'll go. I'll pack for a

0:40:56.400 --> 0:40:58.560
<v Speaker 1>trip an hour before I need to go. I'll get

0:40:58.560 --> 0:41:01.480
<v Speaker 1>my job done when I know it's due at eight

0:41:01.560 --> 0:41:02.279
<v Speaker 1>am the next day.

0:41:02.400 --> 0:41:04.720
<v Speaker 2>I mean, I did get through an entire university degree

0:41:04.719 --> 0:41:05.280
<v Speaker 2>by cramming.

0:41:05.360 --> 0:41:07.279
<v Speaker 3>So I'm going to say that it still works.

0:41:07.239 --> 0:41:10.200
<v Speaker 1>Absolutely, Like I'm just a real procrastinator, but that doesn't

0:41:10.239 --> 0:41:13.160
<v Speaker 1>correlate for me for motivation, because I'm super motivated. I'll

0:41:13.160 --> 0:41:15.400
<v Speaker 1>start new projects all the time. I'm always looking for

0:41:15.440 --> 0:41:17.680
<v Speaker 1>that next thing, and I always finish it. I just

0:41:17.800 --> 0:41:21.040
<v Speaker 1>finish it at the last minute. So what can people

0:41:21.120 --> 0:41:24.440
<v Speaker 1>that suffer from this very very serious prevalent disease that

0:41:24.520 --> 0:41:28.840
<v Speaker 1>I do called procrastination or last minute itis last minute itis?

0:41:28.960 --> 0:41:31.239
<v Speaker 1>What can we do to be better? How do we

0:41:31.400 --> 0:41:31.880
<v Speaker 1>be better?

0:41:32.840 --> 0:41:34.640
<v Speaker 6>Well, it's really interesting that one, isn't it. They're kind of

0:41:34.680 --> 0:41:36.839
<v Speaker 6>leaving things till last minute, because I think a lot

0:41:36.840 --> 0:41:40.239
<v Speaker 6>of people really benefit from that increase in stress in

0:41:40.280 --> 0:41:41.160
<v Speaker 6>the last moments.

0:41:41.239 --> 0:41:42.879
<v Speaker 5>You know that it's much easier to.

0:41:43.080 --> 0:41:46.839
<v Speaker 6>Completely focus your mind if you've got that heightened sense

0:41:46.880 --> 0:41:50.279
<v Speaker 6>of alertness from the increase in stress, like oh this

0:41:50.360 --> 0:41:53.160
<v Speaker 6>is due tomorrow, now I'm stressed about it. So you

0:41:53.280 --> 0:41:56.319
<v Speaker 6>get this sort of surge of energy and alertness that

0:41:56.320 --> 0:41:58.360
<v Speaker 6>allows you to really focus on it and not be

0:41:58.400 --> 0:42:00.880
<v Speaker 6>distracted because you've got the sense of verge. So some

0:42:00.920 --> 0:42:04.359
<v Speaker 6>people really thrive with a sense of urgency. But then

0:42:04.360 --> 0:42:07.080
<v Speaker 6>call themselves lazy or whatever for leaving it to last minute.

0:42:07.160 --> 0:42:09.640
<v Speaker 6>So yeah, I mean, in that sense, it's really helpful

0:42:09.640 --> 0:42:12.319
<v Speaker 6>to kind of look at that with curiosity. But in

0:42:12.400 --> 0:42:14.600
<v Speaker 6>terms of what we should do again, it depends on

0:42:14.880 --> 0:42:18.080
<v Speaker 6>what the reason is for the procrastination or you know,

0:42:18.160 --> 0:42:21.319
<v Speaker 6>leaving things till last minute. And once you work out

0:42:21.320 --> 0:42:24.359
<v Speaker 6>the reason, it's easier to then decide what your strategy is.

0:42:24.520 --> 0:42:26.960
<v Speaker 6>So there are things you can do to increase the

0:42:27.080 --> 0:42:30.680
<v Speaker 6>chances of that motivation feeling being there more of the time,

0:42:31.000 --> 0:42:33.239
<v Speaker 6>and those involved that's when I start to sound like

0:42:33.280 --> 0:42:36.040
<v Speaker 6>people's mother, so I kind of those involved generally looking

0:42:36.120 --> 0:42:38.400
<v Speaker 6>after yourself. You know, you know that you're going to

0:42:38.400 --> 0:42:41.000
<v Speaker 6>feel much more energized and motivated if you've had a

0:42:41.000 --> 0:42:43.800
<v Speaker 6>good night's sleep, right, and if you've eaten good food,

0:42:44.160 --> 0:42:48.000
<v Speaker 6>and if you've exercised fairly regularly for the last however long.

0:42:48.280 --> 0:42:49.640
<v Speaker 5>It's because it works.

0:42:49.760 --> 0:42:52.040
<v Speaker 6>And also things like setting goals that are yours and

0:42:52.120 --> 0:42:55.640
<v Speaker 6>not anybody else's and based on your set of values

0:42:55.719 --> 0:42:58.200
<v Speaker 6>and things that you really want for yourself, and so

0:42:58.239 --> 0:43:01.000
<v Speaker 6>you're much more likely to kind of invite that sense

0:43:01.000 --> 0:43:03.880
<v Speaker 6>of motivation more of the time. If that's the combination

0:43:04.000 --> 0:43:07.000
<v Speaker 6>of stuff, but also there are times when we just

0:43:07.239 --> 0:43:09.600
<v Speaker 6>don't feel like it, but we have to be able

0:43:09.640 --> 0:43:13.440
<v Speaker 6>to override that urge not to do something. And in

0:43:13.440 --> 0:43:15.680
<v Speaker 6>the book, I talk about skills like opposite action.

0:43:15.880 --> 0:43:16.560
<v Speaker 5>So in a.

0:43:16.640 --> 0:43:20.560
<v Speaker 6>Therapy called DBT Dialectical Behavior Therapy, we teach a skill

0:43:20.880 --> 0:43:22.640
<v Speaker 6>to be able to and it's something that we all

0:43:22.640 --> 0:43:25.080
<v Speaker 6>do at different points, but something we can practice and

0:43:25.080 --> 0:43:29.120
<v Speaker 6>get better at is noticing that before we do anything,

0:43:29.160 --> 0:43:31.680
<v Speaker 6>we'll have an urge to do it. So you'll you'll

0:43:31.719 --> 0:43:35.279
<v Speaker 6>feel something, You'll have this sensation which is an urge

0:43:35.320 --> 0:43:38.120
<v Speaker 6>to act, and we can go with that urge, and

0:43:38.160 --> 0:43:40.239
<v Speaker 6>we often do right. So we'll often feel an urge

0:43:40.280 --> 0:43:43.120
<v Speaker 6>and act almost in the same moment, so we don't

0:43:43.160 --> 0:43:45.160
<v Speaker 6>really notice the urge. But if we start to slow

0:43:45.200 --> 0:43:47.879
<v Speaker 6>things down and separate it out, you notice that urge

0:43:47.880 --> 0:43:49.960
<v Speaker 6>to act before you do it. And when you do that,

0:43:50.680 --> 0:43:53.440
<v Speaker 6>you open up this sort of opportunity to either go

0:43:53.520 --> 0:43:56.319
<v Speaker 6>with the urge or go against it. And just a

0:43:56.480 --> 0:43:58.840
<v Speaker 6>kind of silly example that I use in the book

0:43:58.960 --> 0:44:01.080
<v Speaker 6>is when me and my we're kids, we used to

0:44:01.120 --> 0:44:02.719
<v Speaker 6>play this game where we have like a packet of

0:44:02.800 --> 0:44:05.120
<v Speaker 6>polos and you had to hold the polo in your mouth,

0:44:05.480 --> 0:44:08.200
<v Speaker 6>and the first one to crunch it was the loser, right,

0:44:08.239 --> 0:44:10.640
<v Speaker 6>So you had you had that urge to just bite

0:44:10.719 --> 0:44:12.880
<v Speaker 6>down on this mint and crunch it. But if you

0:44:12.920 --> 0:44:15.480
<v Speaker 6>could go against that urge, I mean, and it's just

0:44:15.520 --> 0:44:17.960
<v Speaker 6>a really silly way of and you can pick these

0:44:18.040 --> 0:44:21.040
<v Speaker 6>kind of lighthearted things that you can do that just

0:44:21.360 --> 0:44:25.279
<v Speaker 6>create this experience of noticing an urge and choosing not

0:44:25.360 --> 0:44:27.640
<v Speaker 6>to go with it. And sometimes that's easy, and sometimes

0:44:27.719 --> 0:44:30.520
<v Speaker 6>it's excruciating, you know, like not itching an itch, that

0:44:30.600 --> 0:44:31.160
<v Speaker 6>kind of thing.

0:44:31.120 --> 0:44:33.520
<v Speaker 4>And like, don't pick up that pocke of chocolate again, Brittany,

0:44:33.600 --> 0:44:34.239
<v Speaker 4>just fight it.

0:44:34.440 --> 0:44:36.520
<v Speaker 2>But are we talking about this purely from the perspective

0:44:36.560 --> 0:44:40.120
<v Speaker 2>of a motivation perspective or are we talking about this

0:44:40.320 --> 0:44:43.640
<v Speaker 2>in terms of self moderation, so as in like, don't

0:44:43.640 --> 0:44:46.200
<v Speaker 2>do things that are necessarily desired driven if they're not

0:44:46.280 --> 0:44:48.919
<v Speaker 2>going to make you happy long term. Do not tend

0:44:49.000 --> 0:44:51.880
<v Speaker 2>your X Yeah, never text your eggs. They're just like

0:44:51.920 --> 0:44:54.360
<v Speaker 2>the things that make you happy short term but actually

0:44:54.400 --> 0:44:56.720
<v Speaker 2>long term are going to really impact your ability.

0:44:56.280 --> 0:44:56.880
<v Speaker 3>To be happy.

0:44:57.320 --> 0:44:59.640
<v Speaker 6>Yeah, And that's that's a lot of what happens in therapy,

0:44:59.680 --> 0:45:01.640
<v Speaker 6>you know, is you get the chance to look back

0:45:01.680 --> 0:45:05.120
<v Speaker 6>on your week and look at those sorts of behaviors.

0:45:05.120 --> 0:45:07.080
<v Speaker 6>You know, I had this urge to do X y

0:45:07.239 --> 0:45:10.279
<v Speaker 6>Z or text MAYX, and I did it, and this

0:45:10.440 --> 0:45:12.680
<v Speaker 6>was the consequence, and then I went around this cycle again.

0:45:12.960 --> 0:45:14.640
<v Speaker 6>And you get to kind of plot those cycles that

0:45:14.680 --> 0:45:17.520
<v Speaker 6>you get stuck in, and by spending time reflecting on

0:45:17.560 --> 0:45:19.759
<v Speaker 6>those things, you get to look at, well, next time

0:45:19.800 --> 0:45:22.600
<v Speaker 6>that happens, at what point would be the best point

0:45:22.640 --> 0:45:25.399
<v Speaker 6>for me to break that cycle? And so you kind

0:45:25.440 --> 0:45:27.560
<v Speaker 6>of you place that in your mind that I know,

0:45:28.040 --> 0:45:31.279
<v Speaker 6>when that happens again, that X y Z would be

0:45:31.280 --> 0:45:33.680
<v Speaker 6>a better alternative for me. And so you've already kind

0:45:33.680 --> 0:45:36.319
<v Speaker 6>of set that up, that seed in your mind. And

0:45:36.400 --> 0:45:38.759
<v Speaker 6>sometimes you'll go around the cycle again because you'll act

0:45:38.760 --> 0:45:41.600
<v Speaker 6>on the feeling, and other times you'll do this different

0:45:41.640 --> 0:45:44.040
<v Speaker 6>thing that you've set out for yourself that's based on

0:45:44.239 --> 0:45:46.520
<v Speaker 6>what you want for your life and your values and

0:45:46.560 --> 0:45:49.160
<v Speaker 6>who you want to be. And so I think the

0:45:49.200 --> 0:45:51.480
<v Speaker 6>idea is not to kind of do it perfectly. There's

0:45:51.520 --> 0:45:54.040
<v Speaker 6>no one out there that's doing it perfectly, and you know,

0:45:54.200 --> 0:45:57.680
<v Speaker 6>not responding to any feelings that they have. We're all

0:45:57.800 --> 0:46:01.439
<v Speaker 6>human beings and we're built to do that, always sort

0:46:01.440 --> 0:46:03.960
<v Speaker 6>of challenging ourselves to go back and try again, and

0:46:04.200 --> 0:46:06.200
<v Speaker 6>you know, sometimes you'll break the cycle. Sometimes you won't.

0:46:06.239 --> 0:46:09.120
<v Speaker 6>That's okay. The idea is to get back on. Every

0:46:09.120 --> 0:46:11.480
<v Speaker 6>time you go background a vicious cycle that you don't

0:46:11.480 --> 0:46:13.800
<v Speaker 6>want to be doing, you go back to the books,

0:46:13.880 --> 0:46:15.719
<v Speaker 6>you remember what it is you should be doing, and

0:46:15.760 --> 0:46:16.360
<v Speaker 6>you try again.

0:46:16.719 --> 0:46:19.440
<v Speaker 3>What do you think some of the myths are around motivation.

0:46:19.680 --> 0:46:21.440
<v Speaker 6>I think one of the biggest myths is that some

0:46:21.480 --> 0:46:23.759
<v Speaker 6>people are just motivated and others aren't, that it's some

0:46:23.800 --> 0:46:26.319
<v Speaker 6>sort of personality trait, you know, and while you kind

0:46:26.320 --> 0:46:29.280
<v Speaker 6>of have sort of conscientiousness as a personality trait, motivation

0:46:29.440 --> 0:46:32.480
<v Speaker 6>is a feeling like any other, and so it comes

0:46:32.480 --> 0:46:35.279
<v Speaker 6>and goes like any other. It can't be relied upon

0:46:35.440 --> 0:46:37.200
<v Speaker 6>if it's not going to be there all of the time.

0:46:37.520 --> 0:46:41.200
<v Speaker 6>Something that you can do to improve that chances of

0:46:41.239 --> 0:46:44.040
<v Speaker 6>it being there more of the time is be so

0:46:44.360 --> 0:46:48.080
<v Speaker 6>clear not only on your goals, but on why you've

0:46:48.080 --> 0:46:51.120
<v Speaker 6>set those goals in the first place, and have this

0:46:51.160 --> 0:46:54.719
<v Speaker 6>sort of this vision for yourself and where you want

0:46:54.760 --> 0:46:56.480
<v Speaker 6>things to be and how you want them to be,

0:46:57.040 --> 0:46:59.600
<v Speaker 6>and what's necessary to get there, and then you break

0:46:59.640 --> 0:47:04.320
<v Speaker 6>it down to such a degree that it doesn't feel difficult.

0:47:04.480 --> 0:47:07.000
<v Speaker 6>For example, if the aim is getting back to exercise,

0:47:07.080 --> 0:47:10.279
<v Speaker 6>but the idea of going to a gym feels vulnerable

0:47:10.440 --> 0:47:13.279
<v Speaker 6>or stressful in any way, then you take the gym

0:47:13.280 --> 0:47:15.160
<v Speaker 6>out of the equation and you make it as easy

0:47:15.160 --> 0:47:17.719
<v Speaker 6>as it as possible to do the thing, and you

0:47:17.760 --> 0:47:19.839
<v Speaker 6>also try to make it as hard as possible not

0:47:19.960 --> 0:47:22.000
<v Speaker 6>to do the thing, so you know, you might get

0:47:22.160 --> 0:47:24.239
<v Speaker 6>family and friends involved so that it's hard to let

0:47:24.239 --> 0:47:26.040
<v Speaker 6>them down if you don't feel like going that day,

0:47:26.400 --> 0:47:28.960
<v Speaker 6>or you make the task so small that you can't

0:47:29.000 --> 0:47:31.080
<v Speaker 6>not do it, you know, if it's just walking or

0:47:31.160 --> 0:47:33.000
<v Speaker 6>running to the end of your street or something, and

0:47:33.600 --> 0:47:36.040
<v Speaker 6>so there are people often play around with those things.

0:47:36.480 --> 0:47:39.640
<v Speaker 6>But we'll do that, you know, that practical stuff alongside

0:47:40.280 --> 0:47:43.759
<v Speaker 6>constantly staying in touch with why do you want this?

0:47:44.160 --> 0:47:46.840
<v Speaker 6>And we'll even do these kind of tasks around. Okay,

0:47:46.840 --> 0:47:49.920
<v Speaker 6>what are the advantages and the disadvantages of doing it?

0:47:50.360 --> 0:47:52.719
<v Speaker 6>So the advantages, you know, maybe unprove my health and

0:47:52.760 --> 0:47:55.239
<v Speaker 6>I'll feel good a la lah, or maybe the disadvantages

0:47:55.280 --> 0:47:57.520
<v Speaker 6>are I'm going to feel vulnerable, I'm going to feel

0:47:57.520 --> 0:47:59.640
<v Speaker 6>like an impostor in the gym, I'm going to you know,

0:47:59.719 --> 0:48:01.800
<v Speaker 6>it's take a long time to see results, blah blah.

0:48:02.080 --> 0:48:03.320
<v Speaker 5>But then we'll also look.

0:48:03.200 --> 0:48:07.680
<v Speaker 6>At the advantages and the disadvantages of not doing it. So,

0:48:07.800 --> 0:48:10.680
<v Speaker 6>if I don't do this thing, what's it going to

0:48:10.719 --> 0:48:13.359
<v Speaker 6>cost me, not in terms of money, but in terms

0:48:13.440 --> 0:48:15.600
<v Speaker 6>of the life that I want to have, or my

0:48:15.680 --> 0:48:19.000
<v Speaker 6>well being or my longevity or feeling good. And then

0:48:19.040 --> 0:48:21.640
<v Speaker 6>also the advantages of not doing it, So what am

0:48:21.640 --> 0:48:24.040
<v Speaker 6>I gaining from holding myself back here?

0:48:24.480 --> 0:48:25.360
<v Speaker 5>What's the payoff?

0:48:25.680 --> 0:48:28.239
<v Speaker 6>But also I guess we can be very idealistic and

0:48:28.280 --> 0:48:31.440
<v Speaker 6>that can turn into self criticism. Like you know, if

0:48:31.480 --> 0:48:35.600
<v Speaker 6>you've just had a baby and you are not exercising,

0:48:35.960 --> 0:48:38.719
<v Speaker 6>you can tell yourself that's because you're lazy, or you

0:48:38.760 --> 0:48:41.439
<v Speaker 6>can recognize the fact that if you've only had five

0:48:41.480 --> 0:48:44.960
<v Speaker 6>hours sleep last night, you're unlikely to muster up the

0:48:45.080 --> 0:48:47.000
<v Speaker 6>energy to go and lift some weights in the gym.

0:48:47.080 --> 0:48:48.920
<v Speaker 6>You know, we can kind of be really idealistic. You

0:48:48.920 --> 0:48:50.440
<v Speaker 6>can do it all, and there's twenty.

0:48:50.200 --> 0:48:52.120
<v Speaker 5>Four hours in the day and all that kind of rubbish.

0:48:52.239 --> 0:48:55.560
<v Speaker 6>But actually it's important to look at everything that actually,

0:48:55.760 --> 0:48:58.680
<v Speaker 6>at this stage in my life, it is more difficult

0:48:58.680 --> 0:49:01.640
<v Speaker 6>than it has ever been to put those things in place.

0:49:02.040 --> 0:49:04.600
<v Speaker 6>And because I'm always putting you know, this little human first,

0:49:04.640 --> 0:49:08.080
<v Speaker 6>because that's my job to keep them alive and ensure

0:49:08.080 --> 0:49:11.760
<v Speaker 6>they're well being, then that means I've kind of deprioritized

0:49:11.760 --> 0:49:13.800
<v Speaker 6>some of my own things. And maybe I'm ready for

0:49:13.880 --> 0:49:15.760
<v Speaker 6>a little shit, you know, reshift in the balance.

0:49:16.200 --> 0:49:16.799
<v Speaker 5>Maybe I'm not.

0:49:17.080 --> 0:49:20.360
<v Speaker 6>And so I think it's about being really honest with ourselves.

0:49:20.600 --> 0:49:21.200
<v Speaker 3>Doctor Julie.

0:49:21.200 --> 0:49:23.560
<v Speaker 2>You write a lot about failure, and it's something that

0:49:23.600 --> 0:49:26.839
<v Speaker 2>we've spoken about on this podcast so many times, and

0:49:26.960 --> 0:49:30.200
<v Speaker 2>we are so avoidant of failure. We're so fearful of it,

0:49:30.280 --> 0:49:32.480
<v Speaker 2>rightly so, because it makes us feel terrible, but it's

0:49:32.480 --> 0:49:35.040
<v Speaker 2>also such an intrinsic part of growth. You wrote a

0:49:35.120 --> 0:49:36.719
<v Speaker 2>chapter in your book which was called You Are Not

0:49:36.800 --> 0:49:39.920
<v Speaker 2>Your Mistakes and Inside into Failure. Can you tell us

0:49:40.040 --> 0:49:43.480
<v Speaker 2>how is self doubt linked to our relationship with failure?

0:49:44.120 --> 0:49:48.800
<v Speaker 6>Well, I think our relationship with failure needs needs some mending,

0:49:48.880 --> 0:49:51.319
<v Speaker 6>doesn't it kind of as a society, and in terms

0:49:51.320 --> 0:49:54.680
<v Speaker 6>of just almost reframing our perspective on it.

0:49:54.760 --> 0:49:57.279
<v Speaker 5>So if you see failure as a.

0:49:57.280 --> 0:50:01.920
<v Speaker 6>Normal part of learning anything, getting better at something, then

0:50:01.960 --> 0:50:04.920
<v Speaker 6>it becomes part of the process. And often, you know,

0:50:04.960 --> 0:50:07.600
<v Speaker 6>talk to my kids about this, the idea that you know,

0:50:07.640 --> 0:50:09.600
<v Speaker 6>I don't know when my little boy's playing football and

0:50:09.640 --> 0:50:12.879
<v Speaker 6>he can't possibly miss a goal because all hell breaks loose,

0:50:12.920 --> 0:50:14.440
<v Speaker 6>and you know, it's just no good at football, and

0:50:14.840 --> 0:50:16.839
<v Speaker 6>you know, trying to kind of encourage them to look

0:50:16.840 --> 0:50:20.320
<v Speaker 6>at Okay, well, you look at any top footballer. They

0:50:20.360 --> 0:50:23.200
<v Speaker 6>miss more goals than they get and trying to look

0:50:23.200 --> 0:50:25.719
<v Speaker 6>at well, failure is part of success. And I guess

0:50:25.760 --> 0:50:28.520
<v Speaker 6>it's so easy to sit and say, isn't it, But

0:50:28.680 --> 0:50:31.160
<v Speaker 6>in some ways we have to just learn as we go.

0:50:31.360 --> 0:50:33.719
<v Speaker 6>You kind of learn that, Okay, I can fail and

0:50:33.760 --> 0:50:36.000
<v Speaker 6>then I can recover from it. Because often I think

0:50:36.080 --> 0:50:39.000
<v Speaker 6>when people are really struggling with self doubt, it's often

0:50:39.040 --> 0:50:42.239
<v Speaker 6>because they don't believe in their ability to cope with

0:50:42.480 --> 0:50:45.520
<v Speaker 6>what happens after failure. It's the oh, what if I fail?

0:50:45.680 --> 0:50:47.319
<v Speaker 6>Or you know, what if I get into relationship and

0:50:47.320 --> 0:50:49.840
<v Speaker 6>it doesn't work out? And implicit in that is this

0:50:49.880 --> 0:50:53.000
<v Speaker 6>idea that I won't cope if things go wrong. Therefore

0:50:53.080 --> 0:50:56.359
<v Speaker 6>I need to control and stop anything from going wrong.

0:50:56.440 --> 0:50:58.080
<v Speaker 6>I need to prevent the worse from happening.

0:50:58.239 --> 0:50:59.879
<v Speaker 2>I guess it's this idea that the more that you're

0:51:00.080 --> 0:51:02.480
<v Speaker 2>exposed to something, the less fearful you become of it,

0:51:02.560 --> 0:51:05.399
<v Speaker 2>because it's the mystery is also gone. And you also

0:51:05.480 --> 0:51:08.200
<v Speaker 2>kind of feel like once you have once you have

0:51:08.280 --> 0:51:11.080
<v Speaker 2>done something and you fail and you don't die, the

0:51:11.120 --> 0:51:14.680
<v Speaker 2>floor doesn't open up and swallow your whole. You then realize, oh, okay,

0:51:14.719 --> 0:51:17.520
<v Speaker 2>well if that happens again, I'm gonna be okay. It

0:51:17.560 --> 0:51:18.719
<v Speaker 2>builds this resilience.

0:51:18.760 --> 0:51:20.560
<v Speaker 1>Well, you realize that you can fall down and you

0:51:20.560 --> 0:51:22.239
<v Speaker 1>can get back up, and then even if you trip

0:51:22.280 --> 0:51:24.640
<v Speaker 1>over your shoelace again, you can get back up. Banan appeal,

0:51:24.719 --> 0:51:26.400
<v Speaker 1>You can get back up, but you don't have to

0:51:26.440 --> 0:51:27.080
<v Speaker 1>stay down.

0:51:27.719 --> 0:51:29.960
<v Speaker 6>Yeah, and I think it's about kind of learning from

0:51:30.239 --> 0:51:33.759
<v Speaker 6>failure involves framing failure in a way that's not so

0:51:34.040 --> 0:51:37.480
<v Speaker 6>devastating and shaming. You know, if we perceive failure to

0:51:37.560 --> 0:51:40.520
<v Speaker 6>be saying something fundamental about who we are as a person,

0:51:41.080 --> 0:51:44.840
<v Speaker 6>then it's so painful when it happens that it's hard

0:51:44.880 --> 0:51:48.400
<v Speaker 6>to look at it and learn from it. Whereas if

0:51:48.440 --> 0:51:51.640
<v Speaker 6>we're able to separate our performance in something from our

0:51:51.680 --> 0:51:54.680
<v Speaker 6>worthiness as a human being, then we're much more able

0:51:54.760 --> 0:51:56.520
<v Speaker 6>to look at it and say, oh, this is where

0:51:56.520 --> 0:51:58.240
<v Speaker 6>I went wrong and this is how I can do better,

0:51:58.440 --> 0:52:02.640
<v Speaker 6>because it doesn't impact on your worthiness as a human being,

0:52:03.000 --> 0:52:06.279
<v Speaker 6>and so it's not so painful that you can't bear

0:52:06.320 --> 0:52:07.400
<v Speaker 6>to look at it and learn from it.

0:52:07.680 --> 0:52:10.080
<v Speaker 2>A topic of conversation that's really having a moment in

0:52:10.120 --> 0:52:12.440
<v Speaker 2>the mental health space, and I mean more so on

0:52:12.520 --> 0:52:15.560
<v Speaker 2>social media. It's something that we are seeing far more

0:52:15.600 --> 0:52:18.080
<v Speaker 2>prevalent than ever before, and I think that we can

0:52:18.160 --> 0:52:20.920
<v Speaker 2>attest to COVID had a real impact on this, and

0:52:20.960 --> 0:52:24.200
<v Speaker 2>it's the conversations around anxiety, but also the conversations around

0:52:24.280 --> 0:52:26.799
<v Speaker 2>depression for our listeners, Could you give a little bit

0:52:26.800 --> 0:52:28.920
<v Speaker 2>of a rundown on what is the difference because sometimes

0:52:28.960 --> 0:52:31.319
<v Speaker 2>I think these words are used interchangeably. What is the

0:52:31.320 --> 0:52:35.440
<v Speaker 2>difference between anxiety and what is the difference between having depression?

0:52:36.000 --> 0:52:39.400
<v Speaker 2>So anxiety is essentially a feeling and that every human

0:52:39.440 --> 0:52:42.920
<v Speaker 2>being can experience, and it's part of our threat response.

0:52:43.000 --> 0:52:46.320
<v Speaker 2>So your brain is set up to keep you alive basically,

0:52:46.400 --> 0:52:50.040
<v Speaker 2>and it will always be scanning your environment and any

0:52:50.120 --> 0:52:53.440
<v Speaker 2>time that there is any sign that things might not

0:52:53.560 --> 0:52:56.680
<v Speaker 2>be okay or that there was any danger, be that

0:52:56.800 --> 0:53:00.440
<v Speaker 2>a physical danger, or a psychological danger. So, for example,

0:53:00.680 --> 0:53:05.440
<v Speaker 2>if you anticipate abandonment from the circle of people that

0:53:05.120 --> 0:53:07.759
<v Speaker 2>you live with, then that is going to create a

0:53:07.840 --> 0:53:11.359
<v Speaker 2>huge anxiety response because well, I say, back in the day,

0:53:11.360 --> 0:53:14.319
<v Speaker 2>but even now, if the idea of being abandoned by

0:53:14.400 --> 0:53:17.279
<v Speaker 2>your social group is a threat to your survival. And

0:53:17.360 --> 0:53:19.360
<v Speaker 2>so when you have that kind of threat response go

0:53:19.440 --> 0:53:23.000
<v Speaker 2>off that you feel your heart starts pounding, your breathing

0:53:23.040 --> 0:53:25.960
<v Speaker 2>gets very fast and shallow, you kind of sweat, you

0:53:26.000 --> 0:53:29.600
<v Speaker 2>can feel super hot and flush, and your muscles all

0:53:29.640 --> 0:53:32.280
<v Speaker 2>start to kind of tremble and shake. And that's essentially

0:53:32.360 --> 0:53:35.760
<v Speaker 2>your physical reaction to your body is getting you ready

0:53:36.080 --> 0:53:38.880
<v Speaker 2>to respond to this threat, whatever it might be. So

0:53:39.000 --> 0:53:41.799
<v Speaker 2>your body is geared up, ready to either fight that

0:53:41.840 --> 0:53:45.120
<v Speaker 2>thing off or run away as quickly as you ever

0:53:45.160 --> 0:53:49.600
<v Speaker 2>thought you could exactly. Yeah, So that would be anxiety,

0:53:49.920 --> 0:53:53.880
<v Speaker 2>and I guess separate from the idea of an anxiety disorder.

0:53:54.200 --> 0:53:56.920
<v Speaker 2>And I think that's often where the use of language

0:53:56.960 --> 0:54:00.799
<v Speaker 2>gets kind of misused, as I say, online, where there's

0:54:00.840 --> 0:54:04.160
<v Speaker 2>this assumption that you know, if you feel anxious, maybe

0:54:04.200 --> 0:54:06.680
<v Speaker 2>you have an anxiety disorder. And maybe you do, but

0:54:06.719 --> 0:54:10.040
<v Speaker 2>also maybe you don't because Anxiety is a normal human

0:54:10.120 --> 0:54:13.520
<v Speaker 2>feeling that we all get at times, and it's really excruciating.

0:54:13.520 --> 0:54:15.480
<v Speaker 6>It's supposed to be. It's supposed to get us to move,

0:54:15.880 --> 0:54:20.960
<v Speaker 6>and when it becomes disordered or detrimental to your life

0:54:21.520 --> 0:54:24.720
<v Speaker 6>is when it's constantly being triggered off and you don't

0:54:24.760 --> 0:54:27.279
<v Speaker 6>necessarily have the skills to manage it and bring it

0:54:27.320 --> 0:54:31.000
<v Speaker 6>back down again, or it's associated with some sort of trauma,

0:54:31.239 --> 0:54:34.279
<v Speaker 6>and so that stress response is so intense that it's

0:54:34.320 --> 0:54:37.359
<v Speaker 6>a struggle to even stay safe while you're experiencing that.

0:54:37.719 --> 0:54:40.160
<v Speaker 6>So you know, those sorts of things are distinct, and

0:54:40.200 --> 0:54:44.200
<v Speaker 6>so feeling anxious doesn't necessarily mean you're unwell. It can

0:54:44.280 --> 0:54:47.399
<v Speaker 6>mean that something in your environment isn't right, or your

0:54:47.400 --> 0:54:49.400
<v Speaker 6>needs aren't being met, or that kind of thing, and

0:54:49.440 --> 0:54:52.440
<v Speaker 6>that would be distinct from depression, which is associated with

0:54:52.480 --> 0:54:55.279
<v Speaker 6>low mood. Everyone experiences low mood at times. Everyone has

0:54:55.360 --> 0:54:57.640
<v Speaker 6>days when their mood isn't as buoyant as they'd like

0:54:57.680 --> 0:55:01.120
<v Speaker 6>it to be, but depression involves low mood is one

0:55:01.200 --> 0:55:03.759
<v Speaker 6>of the symptoms of depression, but that low mood would

0:55:03.760 --> 0:55:07.720
<v Speaker 6>be persistent over time and in conjunction with other things

0:55:07.800 --> 0:55:11.520
<v Speaker 6>like not sleeping well or the downturn in relationships, or

0:55:11.600 --> 0:55:13.960
<v Speaker 6>you know, physical symptoms in terms of lack of energy

0:55:14.040 --> 0:55:14.879
<v Speaker 6>and those kind of things.

0:55:14.920 --> 0:55:17.160
<v Speaker 5>So yeah, they're quite kind of distinct.

0:55:17.200 --> 0:55:19.920
<v Speaker 1>I'd say, while we are talking about depression, what are

0:55:19.960 --> 0:55:21.560
<v Speaker 1>some of the misconceptions around it?

0:55:21.800 --> 0:55:24.520
<v Speaker 6>Well, I think often when people are saying you've got

0:55:24.600 --> 0:55:28.560
<v Speaker 6>no reason to be depressed, often the reasons they're looking

0:55:28.600 --> 0:55:31.920
<v Speaker 6>for are reasons that they can see and understand clearly.

0:55:32.520 --> 0:55:35.960
<v Speaker 6>And the way that depression works is I mean, I've

0:55:36.000 --> 0:55:37.840
<v Speaker 6>never worked with anyone in my life.

0:55:37.880 --> 0:55:38.480
<v Speaker 5>I mean, I've worked with.

0:55:38.560 --> 0:55:42.120
<v Speaker 6>Lots of people who've pulled themselves through depression, and all

0:55:42.160 --> 0:55:47.440
<v Speaker 6>of those people we've uncovered a narrative of understanding why

0:55:47.480 --> 0:55:50.400
<v Speaker 6>they were vulnerable to that and working out what's contributed

0:55:50.440 --> 0:55:53.080
<v Speaker 6>to that. And it always makes sense once you unravel it.

0:55:53.120 --> 0:55:55.960
<v Speaker 6>But it takes a lot of unraveling because often the

0:55:56.040 --> 0:55:58.680
<v Speaker 6>reasons are not in the present and that's why you

0:55:58.719 --> 0:56:01.080
<v Speaker 6>can be depressed when you have or your needs met

0:56:01.160 --> 0:56:03.520
<v Speaker 6>right now, But there could be a history of lots

0:56:03.560 --> 0:56:05.880
<v Speaker 6>of other things that are also in that picture that

0:56:05.880 --> 0:56:08.840
<v Speaker 6>people can't see in the present day. So yes, people

0:56:08.840 --> 0:56:11.319
<v Speaker 6>can think, oh, you must be so ungrateful, or you know,

0:56:11.360 --> 0:56:14.400
<v Speaker 6>everything's okay, So why can't you just feel what we

0:56:14.440 --> 0:56:16.400
<v Speaker 6>want you to feel. I think that's the thing with

0:56:16.520 --> 0:56:18.640
<v Speaker 6>depression is yes, there's always a way to understand it,

0:56:18.680 --> 0:56:22.080
<v Speaker 6>and understanding it helps in helping you to address it

0:56:22.120 --> 0:56:24.319
<v Speaker 6>and move forward. But the only way to do that

0:56:24.440 --> 0:56:26.720
<v Speaker 6>is with curiosity rather than judgment.

0:56:26.920 --> 0:56:28.840
<v Speaker 2>Do you think in today's society that we live in

0:56:28.880 --> 0:56:31.799
<v Speaker 2>a time where people are more overwhelmed than what they

0:56:31.840 --> 0:56:34.359
<v Speaker 2>ever have been, or that there is more anxiety than

0:56:34.360 --> 0:56:36.360
<v Speaker 2>what there ever has been? Or do you think that

0:56:36.400 --> 0:56:39.000
<v Speaker 2>we're just more inclined to talk about it and that

0:56:39.080 --> 0:56:41.400
<v Speaker 2>we have labels for things so we're more able to

0:56:41.440 --> 0:56:45.040
<v Speaker 2>communicate this feeling that's always been there, or are we

0:56:45.160 --> 0:56:47.680
<v Speaker 2>experiencing it at unprecedented levels.

0:56:48.040 --> 0:56:50.400
<v Speaker 6>I think maybe it's that we are aware of it

0:56:50.480 --> 0:56:53.640
<v Speaker 6>and we are willing to have conversations about it, and

0:56:53.680 --> 0:56:56.080
<v Speaker 6>often that can create the sense that there is more

0:56:56.080 --> 0:56:59.040
<v Speaker 6>of it. But yeah, I mean, it's a human response,

0:56:59.080 --> 0:57:02.239
<v Speaker 6>So it's always been there. It's just been conceptualized in

0:57:02.280 --> 0:57:04.960
<v Speaker 6>different ways and responded to in different ways, and I

0:57:04.960 --> 0:57:06.960
<v Speaker 6>think it's only in recent years it's become okay to

0:57:06.960 --> 0:57:07.600
<v Speaker 6>talk about it.

0:57:08.080 --> 0:57:10.879
<v Speaker 1>I think there's this idea It's something that I think

0:57:10.880 --> 0:57:13.560
<v Speaker 1>all societies experiencing. I know I experienced it, but we

0:57:13.600 --> 0:57:15.239
<v Speaker 1>see it a lot with our friends and family. And

0:57:15.800 --> 0:57:18.920
<v Speaker 1>it's this idea around this hustle culture that we always

0:57:19.040 --> 0:57:22.200
<v Speaker 1>need to be doing more, working more, achieving more. Now

0:57:22.240 --> 0:57:24.840
<v Speaker 1>I'm not sure if that is just from the growth

0:57:24.840 --> 0:57:27.800
<v Speaker 1>of social media and comparison theory. We're seeing so many

0:57:27.840 --> 0:57:30.160
<v Speaker 1>people do all of these things. Oh you only have

0:57:30.240 --> 0:57:32.840
<v Speaker 1>one business, you don't have five businesses. Oh you don't

0:57:32.880 --> 0:57:35.520
<v Speaker 1>have a seventh business that you hustle on a Saturday.

0:57:35.760 --> 0:57:39.000
<v Speaker 1>There's this idea that we need to constantly be achieving more.

0:57:39.280 --> 0:57:41.520
<v Speaker 1>And I don't know if it's just from comparison theory,

0:57:41.560 --> 0:57:44.800
<v Speaker 1>from social media, or if it's because of COVID. The

0:57:44.880 --> 0:57:46.960
<v Speaker 1>last couple of years, so many people we need to

0:57:46.960 --> 0:57:49.760
<v Speaker 1>lock down. Everyone lost their jobs and people needed to

0:57:49.880 --> 0:57:52.240
<v Speaker 1>make money. People need to find a new way to

0:57:52.280 --> 0:57:54.240
<v Speaker 1>bring an income in. So all of these little businesses

0:57:54.320 --> 0:57:57.920
<v Speaker 1>started opening, and then there's this obsession with working and

0:57:58.000 --> 0:58:00.520
<v Speaker 1>doing more. What's your advice for people people that are

0:58:00.560 --> 0:58:03.320
<v Speaker 1>just stuck in this cyclical hustle culture.

0:58:03.760 --> 0:58:07.200
<v Speaker 6>And I think it's really useful to be fully aware

0:58:07.280 --> 0:58:10.720
<v Speaker 6>of how those expectations are influenced by the content you consume.

0:58:11.120 --> 0:58:14.000
<v Speaker 6>That it's okay to move the bar, and it's okay

0:58:14.040 --> 0:58:17.400
<v Speaker 6>to always have things to work towards, but it's always

0:58:17.600 --> 0:58:21.640
<v Speaker 6>so important to set those bars and those goals by

0:58:21.680 --> 0:58:24.720
<v Speaker 6>your own values and your own vision for your life.

0:58:24.800 --> 0:58:28.800
<v Speaker 6>If you are constantly looking at other people and trying

0:58:28.840 --> 0:58:30.960
<v Speaker 6>to be this or that or the other, and then

0:58:31.000 --> 0:58:34.600
<v Speaker 6>often that can generate that kind of dissatisfaction with your life.

0:58:34.640 --> 0:58:37.919
<v Speaker 6>And actually, if you base your goals and your sense

0:58:37.960 --> 0:58:41.000
<v Speaker 6>of purpose on what matters most to you, then it

0:58:41.040 --> 0:58:43.800
<v Speaker 6>doesn't really matter how big or small those goals are

0:58:43.920 --> 0:58:46.440
<v Speaker 6>or how they compare to anyone else's. They will create

0:58:46.560 --> 0:58:48.680
<v Speaker 6>that sense of fulfillment for you in that sense of

0:58:48.720 --> 0:58:52.000
<v Speaker 6>meaning and purpose in life. Some people do set a

0:58:52.040 --> 0:58:55.640
<v Speaker 6>goal and they apply themselves to it so extremely that

0:58:55.680 --> 0:58:57.520
<v Speaker 6>they can be the best in the world at that thing.

0:58:57.640 --> 0:59:00.160
<v Speaker 6>And that's okay, but there is a price to pay

0:59:00.200 --> 0:59:01.840
<v Speaker 6>in terms of the rest of your life, because if

0:59:01.880 --> 0:59:04.880
<v Speaker 6>you're going to compete with the whole world at one thing,

0:59:05.520 --> 0:59:07.080
<v Speaker 6>then the only way to do that is to be

0:59:07.200 --> 0:59:09.960
<v Speaker 6>on it all the time. But the cost of that

0:59:10.200 --> 0:59:11.840
<v Speaker 6>is all the other parts of your life. You know,

0:59:11.920 --> 0:59:14.880
<v Speaker 6>family and friends and potentially health. You can be just

0:59:14.920 --> 0:59:18.200
<v Speaker 6>as successful in your life, but be more balanced with

0:59:18.240 --> 0:59:21.439
<v Speaker 6>that success. So not necessarily want to be the best

0:59:21.440 --> 0:59:23.760
<v Speaker 6>at the world at this one thing, but you could

0:59:23.800 --> 0:59:26.760
<v Speaker 6>be pretty reasonably good at half a dozen things in

0:59:26.800 --> 0:59:27.320
<v Speaker 6>your life.

0:59:27.480 --> 0:59:29.240
<v Speaker 1>And this is something that Laura called me out on

0:59:29.440 --> 0:59:32.280
<v Speaker 1>just actually like a week ago. She's like, Brittany, your

0:59:32.320 --> 0:59:35.520
<v Speaker 1>bar keeps moving. Last year, your bar was here, you're here.

0:59:35.600 --> 0:59:37.600
<v Speaker 1>Now your bar's up here. She's like, you keep chasing

0:59:37.640 --> 0:59:40.120
<v Speaker 1>this bar. But I think for me, this is and

0:59:40.160 --> 0:59:42.040
<v Speaker 1>that is true. Like a year ago, I would have

0:59:42.360 --> 0:59:44.520
<v Speaker 1>been so stoked to be where I am right now.

0:59:44.560 --> 0:59:46.680
<v Speaker 1>It's where I wanted to be, and I am stoked

0:59:46.720 --> 0:59:49.680
<v Speaker 1>with where I am now. But if I don't move

0:59:49.760 --> 0:59:52.400
<v Speaker 1>my bar, that is my form of motivation. So my

0:59:52.560 --> 0:59:55.480
<v Speaker 1>bar has to be moving otherwise I don't find the

0:59:55.520 --> 0:59:57.800
<v Speaker 1>motivation to keep going. And that's something I'm trying to

0:59:57.840 --> 0:59:58.200
<v Speaker 1>deal with.

0:59:58.280 --> 1:00:00.800
<v Speaker 2>I guess, yeah, And I think that like maybe that's

1:00:00.800 --> 1:00:02.480
<v Speaker 2>the part of it. Like when we had this conversation,

1:00:02.560 --> 1:00:06.400
<v Speaker 2>it was more around like the feeling of achieving something

1:00:06.520 --> 1:00:09.000
<v Speaker 2>that you've always wanted and they're not being grateful when

1:00:09.040 --> 1:00:10.840
<v Speaker 2>you get there, Like not being able to take the

1:00:10.880 --> 1:00:13.920
<v Speaker 2>time to acknowledge like, actually, you are exactly where you

1:00:13.960 --> 1:00:16.240
<v Speaker 2>wanted to be a year ago. But because the bar

1:00:16.360 --> 1:00:20.400
<v Speaker 2>keeps moving exponentially in the opposite direction, you're never satisfied.

1:00:20.440 --> 1:00:21.680
<v Speaker 3>Like, you'll never be satisfied.

1:00:21.720 --> 1:00:24.280
<v Speaker 2>You'll never get to a place where you feel successful,

1:00:24.440 --> 1:00:26.280
<v Speaker 2>you feel like you've achieved what it is that you

1:00:26.280 --> 1:00:28.920
<v Speaker 2>want because it always keeps moving.

1:00:29.120 --> 1:00:30.720
<v Speaker 1>Well, there needs to be a level of just sitting

1:00:30.760 --> 1:00:33.000
<v Speaker 1>in it for a hot second and having some appreciation

1:00:33.160 --> 1:00:34.479
<v Speaker 1>for what you've achieved in your life.

1:00:34.560 --> 1:00:35.280
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, and I think.

1:00:35.120 --> 1:00:38.680
<v Speaker 2>Also having these like realistic expectations and standards on yourself,

1:00:38.720 --> 1:00:41.720
<v Speaker 2>because if you keep on moving the bar constantly without

1:00:41.720 --> 1:00:45.240
<v Speaker 2>being able to have some sort of moment to appreciate

1:00:45.280 --> 1:00:49.640
<v Speaker 2>what you've achieved, it's like, you know, I think, sometimes okay,

1:00:49.640 --> 1:00:51.640
<v Speaker 2>you have to stop and go, well, I'm not living

1:00:51.640 --> 1:00:53.960
<v Speaker 2>in that one bedroom studio anymore eating cans of tuna.

1:00:54.080 --> 1:00:56.480
<v Speaker 1>No, I have two bedrooms and I order it breats

1:00:56.520 --> 1:00:57.920
<v Speaker 1>now yeah, way too often.

1:00:59.080 --> 1:01:01.840
<v Speaker 6>Yeah, absolutely, as long as you recognize that getting to

1:01:01.920 --> 1:01:04.720
<v Speaker 6>that next bar isn't the key to happiness. If you

1:01:04.720 --> 1:01:09.040
<v Speaker 6>can develop a healthy process of finding meaning in what

1:01:09.080 --> 1:01:12.240
<v Speaker 6>you're doing, then each goal can be passed, and then

1:01:12.280 --> 1:01:14.520
<v Speaker 6>I think you don't. You don't get over excited by

1:01:14.520 --> 1:01:17.520
<v Speaker 6>achieving a goal, but you also don't get completely flawed

1:01:17.560 --> 1:01:20.440
<v Speaker 6>by not achieving one either, So you don't get flawed

1:01:20.440 --> 1:01:24.880
<v Speaker 6>by the failures, and you don't become overwhelmed by achievements either.

1:01:24.920 --> 1:01:27.600
<v Speaker 6>So it becomes less about either of those things and

1:01:27.600 --> 1:01:30.919
<v Speaker 6>becomes more about the purpose and the meaning to you

1:01:31.040 --> 1:01:32.120
<v Speaker 6>in doing this thing.

1:01:32.560 --> 1:01:35.200
<v Speaker 2>Docdor Dula, your book is called Why has Nobody Told

1:01:35.240 --> 1:01:37.320
<v Speaker 2>Me This Before? And I have a big question for you.

1:01:37.360 --> 1:01:39.480
<v Speaker 2>When you were writing this book. What was like the

1:01:39.600 --> 1:01:42.360
<v Speaker 2>number one thing that you thought of that you were like,

1:01:42.640 --> 1:01:45.680
<v Speaker 2>why has nobody told me this before?

1:01:46.920 --> 1:01:49.479
<v Speaker 6>Probably through my own kind of journey in terms of

1:01:49.600 --> 1:01:51.760
<v Speaker 6>my fear of heights and phobia and stuff like that,

1:01:52.200 --> 1:01:56.600
<v Speaker 6>is the recognition that avoidance feeds anxiety. So when you

1:01:56.600 --> 1:01:58.800
<v Speaker 6>feel anxious, it tells you to get the hell out

1:01:58.840 --> 1:02:01.919
<v Speaker 6>of there and avoid it, course, because your brain's trying

1:02:01.920 --> 1:02:05.240
<v Speaker 6>to keep you safe. But if you avoid that thing

1:02:05.680 --> 1:02:08.640
<v Speaker 6>through your fear, the fear will grow over time that

1:02:08.720 --> 1:02:10.680
<v Speaker 6>you know, the thing you do every day becomes your

1:02:10.680 --> 1:02:13.480
<v Speaker 6>comfort zone. So if there's something you want to master,

1:02:13.920 --> 1:02:16.320
<v Speaker 6>but it makes you anxious, do it as much as

1:02:16.320 --> 1:02:17.120
<v Speaker 6>you possibly can.

1:02:17.840 --> 1:02:20.040
<v Speaker 2>Doctor Julie, thank you so much for joining us today,

1:02:20.120 --> 1:02:22.400
<v Speaker 2>for being a part of life on cut. For anybody

1:02:22.400 --> 1:02:25.479
<v Speaker 2>who wants to find you to follow you to view

1:02:25.520 --> 1:02:27.640
<v Speaker 2>all your social media content, can you please let us

1:02:27.680 --> 1:02:29.840
<v Speaker 2>know your handles and where they can follow you.

1:02:30.320 --> 1:02:30.560
<v Speaker 5>Yeah.

1:02:30.600 --> 1:02:33.960
<v Speaker 6>So I'm just doctor Julie on Instagram and on on

1:02:34.080 --> 1:02:35.680
<v Speaker 6>YouTube as well. I'm going to put some more sort

1:02:35.680 --> 1:02:38.520
<v Speaker 6>of longer videos with a bit more detail on YouTube's

1:02:38.800 --> 1:02:40.240
<v Speaker 6>TikTok is Doctor Julie Smith.

1:02:40.280 --> 1:02:42.240
<v Speaker 5>I think. Yeah, so nice to meet you guys. Thanks

1:02:42.280 --> 1:02:42.760
<v Speaker 5>for having me.

1:02:44.080 --> 1:02:47.120
<v Speaker 1>You guys know, we don't finish an episode without our

1:02:47.240 --> 1:02:49.880
<v Speaker 1>suck and our suite, our highlight and our low light

1:02:50.000 --> 1:02:51.720
<v Speaker 1>from the week. Laura, do you want to kick it off?

1:02:51.720 --> 1:02:52.880
<v Speaker 1>What's your suck for the week?

1:02:53.200 --> 1:02:57.760
<v Speaker 3>My suck is that I'm sick and it sucks, oh, Absoult. Yeah.

1:02:57.800 --> 1:02:59.760
<v Speaker 2>But also I think sometimes it's a bit it's a

1:02:59.760 --> 1:03:01.600
<v Speaker 2>bit tricky when you got kids, because when you're sick,

1:03:01.640 --> 1:03:04.360
<v Speaker 2>you just don't get to go to bed and you

1:03:04.360 --> 1:03:06.280
<v Speaker 2>don't get to give your body what it needs and

1:03:06.320 --> 1:03:10.840
<v Speaker 2>recover because your kids go. It's far Daddy way. Molly's

1:03:10.880 --> 1:03:12.320
<v Speaker 2>new thing is that she lays in bed and just

1:03:12.360 --> 1:03:18.120
<v Speaker 2>screams MoMA from her bedroom until I come and get

1:03:18.120 --> 1:03:20.440
<v Speaker 2>into bed with her and give her a cuddle in

1:03:20.480 --> 1:03:20.960
<v Speaker 2>her bed.

1:03:21.240 --> 1:03:22.320
<v Speaker 3>So that's what we do every morning.

1:03:22.360 --> 1:03:24.200
<v Speaker 1>Now it's you can younot just train her to come

1:03:24.240 --> 1:03:28.920
<v Speaker 1>to you here boy with a coffee doesn't work yet.

1:03:29.080 --> 1:03:31.000
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, So look, I mean, being a bit sick and

1:03:31.280 --> 1:03:33.720
<v Speaker 2>losing my voice is not the easiest or best or

1:03:33.720 --> 1:03:36.840
<v Speaker 2>funnest thing when you're required to talk for a job.

1:03:37.280 --> 1:03:39.200
<v Speaker 2>But anyway, my way sweet For the week, I've had

1:03:39.880 --> 1:03:43.200
<v Speaker 2>such a good week. We had some huge things happening

1:03:43.240 --> 1:03:45.040
<v Speaker 2>over at Tony May. We had a launch this week

1:03:45.080 --> 1:03:48.200
<v Speaker 2>for our new collection. It is called Athena. It is

1:03:48.360 --> 1:03:50.560
<v Speaker 2>I've just been working. We've all been working so hard

1:03:50.560 --> 1:03:52.640
<v Speaker 2>on it, and it's just this one thing that it's

1:03:52.680 --> 1:03:54.680
<v Speaker 2>like this massive build up when you have a collection

1:03:54.760 --> 1:03:56.320
<v Speaker 2>launch and then all of a sudden you just put

1:03:56.320 --> 1:03:57.800
<v Speaker 2>it out into the world and you're like there you go.

1:03:58.160 --> 1:03:59.520
<v Speaker 1>You're like, please please come back.

1:04:00.120 --> 1:04:02.880
<v Speaker 2>I hope you like it. And so that has been happening.

1:04:02.920 --> 1:04:04.800
<v Speaker 2>But then I also got to spend Sunday with Marley

1:04:04.880 --> 1:04:06.800
<v Speaker 2>and we just hang out like we just like powered

1:04:06.840 --> 1:04:08.200
<v Speaker 2>down like little besties.

1:04:08.240 --> 1:04:09.880
<v Speaker 1>Me and I saw you're doing some painting in the car.

1:04:10.240 --> 1:04:11.880
<v Speaker 2>What we did is we got potatoes, cut them in

1:04:11.880 --> 1:04:13.280
<v Speaker 2>half and then use them as stemps.

1:04:14.440 --> 1:04:16.320
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, I remember doing that as a kid.

1:04:16.560 --> 1:04:19.320
<v Speaker 2>I got really back to my old school, like what

1:04:19.360 --> 1:04:21.440
<v Speaker 2>I would learn from watching play school, but never actually

1:04:21.440 --> 1:04:22.360
<v Speaker 2>did myself cute.

1:04:22.440 --> 1:04:23.880
<v Speaker 3>So that's what I did. That was my week.

1:04:24.000 --> 1:04:26.600
<v Speaker 1>Well, my suck. I've already told you the huge suck,

1:04:26.680 --> 1:04:28.400
<v Speaker 1>but I'm going to tell you a little mini suck

1:04:28.480 --> 1:04:30.720
<v Speaker 1>that accompanied the huge suck. They haven't spoken about yet.

1:04:30.800 --> 1:04:32.360
<v Speaker 1>So I got scammed, right, I had to go and

1:04:32.360 --> 1:04:34.680
<v Speaker 1>move my house, blah blah blah. When I was sitting

1:04:34.680 --> 1:04:37.320
<v Speaker 1>in the car having the breakdown, crying because like, you

1:04:37.360 --> 1:04:39.640
<v Speaker 1>couldn't script this. I was sitting there, I was boiling

1:04:39.640 --> 1:04:41.360
<v Speaker 1>my eyds at and it was on dusk, like it

1:04:41.400 --> 1:04:43.640
<v Speaker 1>was starting to get dark, because that was how late

1:04:43.680 --> 1:04:44.080
<v Speaker 1>the day was.

1:04:44.160 --> 1:04:45.600
<v Speaker 3>You're like, because I sat there for so long.

1:04:45.640 --> 1:04:47.080
<v Speaker 1>I was in there for twenty five hours.

1:04:47.080 --> 1:04:49.280
<v Speaker 2>So why is it, though, that we always end up

1:04:49.280 --> 1:04:51.280
<v Speaker 2>crying in a car, Like why is that the place?

1:04:51.400 --> 1:04:53.280
<v Speaker 1>Because it's a safe place where you think that though

1:04:53.360 --> 1:04:55.640
<v Speaker 1>and can see you and you're not ready for me.

1:04:55.920 --> 1:04:57.880
<v Speaker 1>How often do you like pull up your car and

1:04:57.880 --> 1:04:59.360
<v Speaker 1>you don't get out of the Sometimes you want to

1:04:59.360 --> 1:05:01.320
<v Speaker 1>sit in your car for hours. You scroll, you don't

1:05:01.320 --> 1:05:03.160
<v Speaker 1>want to face whatever's in the house, or having.

1:05:02.960 --> 1:05:04.000
<v Speaker 3>A cocoon, isn't it.

1:05:04.000 --> 1:05:06.080
<v Speaker 2>It's like when you feel sad, I feel like the

1:05:06.120 --> 1:05:08.200
<v Speaker 2>equivalent would be going and sitting in your cupboard, But

1:05:08.240 --> 1:05:08.800
<v Speaker 2>no one's going.

1:05:08.800 --> 1:05:10.120
<v Speaker 3>To do that. So why the fuck do we sit

1:05:10.160 --> 1:05:11.000
<v Speaker 3>in our car for so long?

1:05:10.960 --> 1:05:11.920
<v Speaker 1>I reckon some people do.

1:05:12.160 --> 1:05:13.760
<v Speaker 3>I'm really sad. I'm gonna go sit in my carpet

1:05:13.760 --> 1:05:14.240
<v Speaker 3>for a little while.

1:05:14.240 --> 1:05:16.920
<v Speaker 1>Maybe you ever walk in wardrobe I was. I was

1:05:16.920 --> 1:05:18.480
<v Speaker 1>having my little cry and I was on dust, so

1:05:18.480 --> 1:05:22.360
<v Speaker 1>it wasn't very light. And then this family of surfers

1:05:22.640 --> 1:05:24.640
<v Speaker 1>had come up from Boney Beach and they were going

1:05:24.640 --> 1:05:26.439
<v Speaker 1>to put all their stuff. There were like two kids

1:05:26.440 --> 1:05:27.960
<v Speaker 1>with surfers and the dad and they were going to

1:05:27.960 --> 1:05:30.440
<v Speaker 1>put their surfboard in the car. They mustn't have been

1:05:30.480 --> 1:05:33.120
<v Speaker 1>able to see me at the start, anyway, you could

1:05:33.160 --> 1:05:35.760
<v Speaker 1>hear the dad say, just put your surfboard down and

1:05:35.800 --> 1:05:38.240
<v Speaker 1>I'll put it in the car in a minute. Then

1:05:38.280 --> 1:05:41.240
<v Speaker 1>you hear him just smash the surfboard into my car.

1:05:43.720 --> 1:05:47.480
<v Speaker 1>Smashed in my new cut smash into the side. Then

1:05:47.600 --> 1:05:49.320
<v Speaker 1>I had this moment where the dad looked up at me.

1:05:49.800 --> 1:05:51.360
<v Speaker 1>He looked at the car and looked and saw that

1:05:51.440 --> 1:05:54.200
<v Speaker 1>I was in the car crying. I was crying. I

1:05:54.240 --> 1:05:55.840
<v Speaker 1>was bawling my eyes out looking at him, and he

1:05:55.840 --> 1:05:57.919
<v Speaker 1>looked at me and his face was so shock horror.

1:05:58.000 --> 1:05:59.760
<v Speaker 1>Then he registered I was crying, and I looked at

1:05:59.800 --> 1:06:02.240
<v Speaker 1>him and I just said, you know what, don't even worry.

1:06:02.360 --> 1:06:05.080
<v Speaker 1>I don't even care. I was like, just getting your car.

1:06:05.440 --> 1:06:05.640
<v Speaker 3>Oh.

1:06:06.080 --> 1:06:07.320
<v Speaker 1>I didn't even get out to look at it. I

1:06:07.360 --> 1:06:09.760
<v Speaker 1>was like, just go. I was like today, I'm not

1:06:09.800 --> 1:06:12.919
<v Speaker 1>dealing with anything else today. But that was my suck.

1:06:13.040 --> 1:06:15.080
<v Speaker 1>But anyway, they say, come thing three is I gotta

1:06:15.080 --> 1:06:15.800
<v Speaker 1>wait for one more thing?

1:06:15.840 --> 1:06:17.480
<v Speaker 3>I think, what is your sweet?

1:06:17.680 --> 1:06:19.040
<v Speaker 1>Yeah? I was about to wrap up the episode. I

1:06:19.720 --> 1:06:24.640
<v Speaker 1>was like, that's me done. My sweet is that? I

1:06:24.640 --> 1:06:27.760
<v Speaker 1>guess Laura and I and this is pretty shit because

1:06:27.760 --> 1:06:29.320
<v Speaker 1>I'm teasing you a little bit. But Laura and I've

1:06:29.360 --> 1:06:31.760
<v Speaker 1>been working really hard on something else, like a secret

1:06:31.760 --> 1:06:35.640
<v Speaker 1>squirrel project that's really close to coming, and it's taken

1:06:35.680 --> 1:06:37.640
<v Speaker 1>us a long time and it's almost time to tell

1:06:37.640 --> 1:06:40.040
<v Speaker 1>you about it. Almost time to tell you about it

1:06:40.040 --> 1:06:43.080
<v Speaker 1>means we've almost finished, no, but it means we've almost

1:06:43.080 --> 1:06:45.160
<v Speaker 1>finished the work on it. So, my sweet is that

1:06:45.280 --> 1:06:47.480
<v Speaker 1>like the hard part is almost done and we almost

1:06:47.480 --> 1:06:49.120
<v Speaker 1>get to you know, share it with you guys.

1:06:49.120 --> 1:06:52.720
<v Speaker 2>So it's about two weeks away, is like the timeline.

1:06:52.720 --> 1:06:55.480
<v Speaker 2>But we have been working on a really awesome project

1:06:55.520 --> 1:06:57.520
<v Speaker 2>which we are very excited to share with you. I

1:06:57.560 --> 1:07:00.000
<v Speaker 2>love that you baited this and it is coming very

1:07:00.120 --> 1:07:01.360
<v Speaker 2>very soon, just.

1:07:01.280 --> 1:07:02.200
<v Speaker 3>Not soon enough.

1:07:02.320 --> 1:07:04.320
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, so that's it. Two more weeks, sit tight, and

1:07:04.320 --> 1:07:07.360
<v Speaker 1>that is it from us. Please keep your accidentally unfiltereds

1:07:07.400 --> 1:07:10.640
<v Speaker 1>coming in your ask on cuts, anything, confessionals, any funny

1:07:10.680 --> 1:07:11.960
<v Speaker 1>stories that you want to keep it coming into the

1:07:12.000 --> 1:07:15.600
<v Speaker 1>Instagram Life Uncut podcast that is sliding into the DMS.

1:07:15.760 --> 1:07:17.600
<v Speaker 2>If you aren't already a member of the Facebook group,

1:07:17.640 --> 1:07:20.120
<v Speaker 2>you can join Life Uncut Discussion Group, which is where

1:07:20.120 --> 1:07:22.040
<v Speaker 2>all the juicy good stuff goes down. You can also

1:07:22.080 --> 1:07:24.320
<v Speaker 2>send us a question for ask on Cut, which is

1:07:24.440 --> 1:07:25.640
<v Speaker 2>every single Thursday.

1:07:26.200 --> 1:07:27.040
<v Speaker 3>And you know the drill.

1:07:27.200 --> 1:07:28.920
<v Speaker 1>Don't forget to tell your mom to dad, tell you

1:07:28.960 --> 1:07:31.480
<v Speaker 1>dog to your friends, and share the love because we

1:07:31.720 --> 1:07:35.080
<v Speaker 1>love blave. Oh my god, it's fucking gone.

1:07:35.120 --> 1:07:41.000
<v Speaker 2>Now guys, Hopefully we'll see you on Thursday.

1:07:41.160 --> 1:07:41.920
<v Speaker 1>Laura can speak