WEBVTT - AITA For Not Inviting My Sister To The Wedding? 👰 💍🔔

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<v Speaker 1>Flex and Frooms Flex and Firms. This is the Flex

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<v Speaker 1>and Frooms catch up podcast.

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<v Speaker 2>Flex and Frooms on Caita with another am I the

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<v Speaker 2>asshole source from the internet. Thank you for your servers,

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<v Speaker 2>all these people who go through terrible things and take

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<v Speaker 2>the time to tell us about them. Am I the

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<v Speaker 2>asshole for not inviting my unsupportive sister to my wedding.

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<v Speaker 1>Here we go.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm twenty four, a woman. I got engaged to Derek.

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<v Speaker 2>Are we doing names? Yeah, who's thirty and a man.

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<v Speaker 2>I got engaged to him one month ago. Prior to that,

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<v Speaker 2>we had known each other for six months. I know

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<v Speaker 2>that's not a long time, but when you know, you

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<v Speaker 2>know we're madly in love and ready to commit ourselves

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<v Speaker 2>to each other fully. That's what I would do. My sister,

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<v Speaker 2>who's twenty six, so two years older than me, has

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<v Speaker 2>a problem with that. She was supportive of my relationship

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<v Speaker 2>with Derek before we got engaged, and when I sent

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<v Speaker 2>her a text telling her where engaged, she responded by

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<v Speaker 2>saying congratulations. But then when I saw her the week

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<v Speaker 2>after that, she got all serious and said I should

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<v Speaker 2>strongly reconsider the marriage. She told me I was young

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<v Speaker 2>and could meet people I loved more. That's fair. That

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<v Speaker 2>was offensive to me because I love Derek more than anything,

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<v Speaker 2>and she's basically saying my love isn't that important. She

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<v Speaker 2>also told me that Derek and I could date for

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<v Speaker 2>longer before he got married, but we're already fully committed

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<v Speaker 2>to each other, so we might as well get married

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<v Speaker 2>and be recognized as soulmates in the eyes of the law.

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<v Speaker 2>Can I get a hurrah?

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<v Speaker 1>Oh?

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<v Speaker 2>Anyway, the conversation was so hurtful to me. I eventually

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<v Speaker 2>asked her very directly, do you support me marrying Derek?

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<v Speaker 2>She said no, so I stood up, told her she

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<v Speaker 2>shouldn't be at the wedding if she didn't want us

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<v Speaker 2>to get married, and left. I haven't talked to her since,

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<v Speaker 2>although she has texted me multiple times asking to talk.

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<v Speaker 2>Derek and I were working on the wedding guest list

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<v Speaker 2>yesterday and we both agreed my sister should not come

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<v Speaker 2>if she doesn't support us, so we're planning to not

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<v Speaker 2>invite her. I mentioned this to my friend yes today

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<v Speaker 2>and she pointed out that it may be a little

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<v Speaker 2>rude of me not to invite her. So am I

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<v Speaker 2>the asshole for not inviting my unsupportive sister to my wedding.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm gonna say, life's too short to beef with the siblings. Guys,

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<v Speaker 1>when this marriage does end, there's over a fifty percent

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<v Speaker 1>chance love. Let's be real, like small businesses as well. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>it's hard for everyone. I would say, hate her advice.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm all for the long engagement. Okay, draw out that period.

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<v Speaker 1>It's one of the most fun of your life. Not

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<v Speaker 1>speaking from experience.

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<v Speaker 2>Is that a joke or you are? Have you been engaged?

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<v Speaker 1>No? Okay, but I can imagine, like I'm excited for

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<v Speaker 1>that time of my life.

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<v Speaker 2>You've done visualization before you get it. Yeah, I feel Look,

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<v Speaker 2>I'm with you. I do think life's too short to

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<v Speaker 2>be beefing. And this sounds like a bit of premature beef.

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<v Speaker 2>It sounds like your sister went to you, women to

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<v Speaker 2>women and was like, hey, babe, are we for real?

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<v Speaker 2>Like are we doing this? And then clearly because as

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<v Speaker 2>we all get in relationships in those early stages, you

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<v Speaker 2>get defensive, you get territorial, you feel misunderstood, and that's

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<v Speaker 2>not a good feeling. And what we need to avoid

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<v Speaker 2>is doubling down when there's no need to. Right I

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<v Speaker 2>think that what we can all benefit from doing is

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<v Speaker 2>not respectability politics. You know, it's okay to be annoyed

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<v Speaker 2>when you're annoyed. It's okay to be like, you're pissing

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<v Speaker 2>me off when you're being pissed off. But in this instance,

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<v Speaker 2>I think we could apply a bit more neutrality. She's

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<v Speaker 2>gonna be your sister before or after this wedding period.

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<v Speaker 2>Unfortunately that man will be your husband and then your

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<v Speaker 2>ex husband period. So what you should do have a

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<v Speaker 2>chat with her and be like, hey, like it's really

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<v Speaker 2>rubbed me the wrong way, but I don't want to

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<v Speaker 2>do this, Like it's killing my vibe, it's soiling my experience.

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<v Speaker 2>Just know you've hurt me come to the wedding, but

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<v Speaker 2>like me and you, we've got stuff to work on.

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<v Speaker 2>And leave it at that. She can spend the next

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<v Speaker 2>couple of months like rebuilding slowly, but you can like

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<v Speaker 2>park that and work on your new relationship.

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<v Speaker 1>That's very sage advice. It's hard to do in oh, definitely,

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<v Speaker 1>but if you can do that with your siblings or

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<v Speaker 1>your friend or anyone else in your life, it's a

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<v Speaker 1>really great learning curve.

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<v Speaker 2>Beef in a chill way. I like beefing in a

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<v Speaker 2>chill way. It's like we can beef and not be

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<v Speaker 2>like throwing things across the room. It's like beef politely.

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<v Speaker 2>I don't like you right now, not you, I'm picturing

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<v Speaker 2>someone in my head. I don't like you right now,

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<v Speaker 2>but I don't have the energy to make everyone else's

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<v Speaker 2>life uncomfortable. In addition to hating you, you.

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<v Speaker 1>Know, I love that You've been listening to the Flex

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