Speaker 1: Hello, my name's Santasha Nabananga Bamblet. I'm a proud yr
Speaker 1: the Order Kerni Whoalbury and a waddery woman. And before
Speaker 1: we get started on She's on the Money podcast, I
Speaker 1: would like to acknowledge the traditional custodians of the land
Speaker 1: of which this podcast is recorded on a wondery country,
Speaker 1: acknowledging the elders, the ancestors and the next generation coming
Speaker 1: through as this podcast is about connecting, empowering, knowledge sharing
Speaker 1: and the storytelling of you to make a difference for
Speaker 1: today and lasting impact for tomorrow.
Speaker 2: Let's get into it.
Speaker 3: She's on the Money. She's on the Money.
Speaker 4: Hello, and welcome to She's on the the podcast for
Speaker 4: millennials who want financial freedom. Do you ever feel like
Speaker 4: everyone is just way ahead of you when it comes
Speaker 4: to money? I don't know if you can relate to
Speaker 4: this so much, but certainly, like maybe the people listening,
Speaker 4: it kind of just feels like, no matter how far
Speaker 4: you go, it feels like you still aren't where you
Speaker 4: want to be, but also where everyone else is, it's
Speaker 4: like so much further ahead. Like it just always feels
Speaker 4: like you're running this rat race.
Speaker 5: We all do it.
Speaker 4: Points which is why we're talking today about the cost
Speaker 4: of comparison culture. On today's episode. My name is beck
Speaker 4: Side and with me as always is Victoria Divine. Hello,
Speaker 4: my friend.
Speaker 6: I'm excited to talk about this because we have talked
Speaker 6: about comparison culture on the podcast before. It was honestly,
Speaker 6: like terrifyingly a couple of years ago. Back we've been
Speaker 6: around a while, but you're right, like, I do go
Speaker 6: through things and feel like I'm behind, and I think
Speaker 6: if I had admitted that publicly to you, you'd be
Speaker 6: like ve pull your head in, like when the pretty
Speaker 6: girl goes, oh, I'm so ugly today, and you're like, absolutely,
Speaker 6: you are not sit down, Like what the heck? Like
Speaker 6: you're the prettiest thing I've seen in my life. You know,
Speaker 6: when someone says something and it feels unhinged, you're like, oh,
Speaker 6: they can't believe that, Like, yes, absolutely not. What do
Speaker 6: you mean you got up on the wrong side of
Speaker 6: the bed. You're basically a supermodeled.
Speaker 2: Like, yeah, that's what it feels like.
Speaker 6: When someone like me goes, oh, yeah, the cost of comparison,
Speaker 6: like everyone's doing better than me because it's public knowledge.
Speaker 6: They're like, I know, money and I'm pretty good at it,
Speaker 6: and I've bought property and you know, I'm good at investing,
Speaker 6: and I think lots of people look at me and
Speaker 6: go just got it together. Thank you for that.
Speaker 2: I would like to keep that aura up that I'm
Speaker 2: really good at money.
Speaker 6: But there's always someone doing better, right, Like, it doesn't
Speaker 6: matter what good position you get into, there's always going
Speaker 6: to be someone doing better, someone doing more, someone that
Speaker 6: you can compare yourself with. So I think we need
Speaker 6: to contextualize it in that way because it's ridiculous totally.
Speaker 6: Why aren't we just comparing ourselves to past us? Like hey, Beck,
Speaker 6: you know what twelve months ago, past you wouldn't have
Speaker 6: even been comfortable having this conversation and you go, oh yeah, Actually,
Speaker 6: Like if we think back to when you started on
Speaker 6: the podcast, you were like, oh, I've never invested, and
Speaker 6: now you're like, yeah, so my goal this year probably
Speaker 6: going to invest, Like I've been looking at this and this,
Speaker 6: and you know you're talking about ETFs like you know what.
Speaker 2: They are now? Like do you know what I mean?
Speaker 6: So like, let's compare to past us, not future us,
Speaker 6: or you know what we could have been or the
Speaker 6: missed opportunities, and I think you know, everybody to some
Speaker 6: degree goes through this, and that's why we obviously have
Speaker 6: to talk about it in more depth today because to me,
Speaker 6: the cost of comparison culture links so closely to our
Speaker 6: mental health but also our finances, and to me, those
Speaker 6: two things are incredibly important to talk about.
Speaker 5: So we're here now.
Speaker 4: I completely agree that that's a really good way to
Speaker 4: look at it. Actually, compare yourself to your past self.
Speaker 4: Unless your past self was thriving, then compare yourself to
Speaker 4: I don't know, but.
Speaker 6: Also look at that you did it like even if
Speaker 6: they were thriving. Like Beck, you've done it before, you
Speaker 6: can do it again. We can get back there, like
Speaker 6: everyone falls off the bandwagon at some point with something
Speaker 6: totally that's so true, but our community are gritty. It
Speaker 6: means they get back up and try again.
Speaker 5: Yeah.
Speaker 4: Okay, So a little bit later in the episode, we
Speaker 4: will give you some tips to help combat comparison culture.
Speaker 4: But before that, let's talk about what it is and
Speaker 4: why it holds such a power over us.
Speaker 5: Why are we like this fee?
Speaker 6: I mean, firstly, let's talk about it from an evolutionary standpoint,
Speaker 6: right like innately with social little creatures, but some more
Speaker 6: than others, like you and I. But you and I
Speaker 6: and everyone alive today are basically descendants of a very
Speaker 6: long line of people who knew how to fit in
Speaker 6: with a pack, because that's what survival meant. And people
Speaker 6: didn't really survive if you couldn't get into the pack
Speaker 6: or if you were, you know, ostracized from the pack.
Speaker 6: So I think it's really important to keep in mind
Speaker 6: that we are a pack community at heart. And now
Speaker 6: you look at the world and go, I don't even
Speaker 6: know my neighbors, Like it's a very strange juxtaposition, Like
Speaker 6: there's all these quotes about you know, it takes a
Speaker 6: village to raise a child, and like you look at
Speaker 6: it now and be like, I'm on the village talking
Speaker 6: to my child, Like I'm not even gonna put them
Speaker 6: on the internet, do you know what I mean? Like
Speaker 6: the world is such a different place. But innately, we
Speaker 6: are pack animals and we thrive when people around.
Speaker 2: Us are thriving.
Speaker 6: We kind of look to each other to get a
Speaker 6: sense of ourselves as well and where we should be
Speaker 6: in life. And so historically, if we're in a pack,
Speaker 6: everything was kind of like shared. Did you get a
Speaker 6: piece of the animal that we just killed. Yep, great,
Speaker 6: did you great? Like we don't have different collections of
Speaker 6: stuff when you live in a pack. You don't have
Speaker 6: a house, you don't have you know, a car or
Speaker 6: something more shiny, because the idea was always to you know,
Speaker 6: contribute to the greater good and you know, essentially like
Speaker 6: we only just wanted to survive and that's where we've
Speaker 6: come from. But we're not in survival mode anymore. And
Speaker 6: I think it's normal to compare ourselves, but it's also
Speaker 6: something that we have to be really careful of because
Speaker 6: I think immediately, because of this pack culture mentality, you go, well,
Speaker 6: if their casa, I probably should have it m hm,
Speaker 6: and immediately like, that's that pack culture overshadowing the way
Speaker 6: that you're feeling, when in reality, we're now all our
Speaker 6: own little packs and we're running our own races and
Speaker 6: we have different things to say. And I mean, I
Speaker 6: don't think it's about just ignoring other people, right, but
Speaker 6: I do think it's about checking in with our personal
Speaker 6: values and not trying to keep up with the Joneses
Speaker 6: next door because you don't know how much debt they're in,
Speaker 6: and just keeping things sustainable for ourselves because yes, times
Speaker 6: have changed, and yes you do want to compare yourself,
Speaker 6: but like that doesn't mean it's constructive.
Speaker 2: Even though you go, oh, well, you know.
Speaker 6: If I compare myself to Beck, I'll become a better person,
Speaker 6: you go, well, not really, like I'm really sorry, but
Speaker 6: you might manifest yourself into Beck and then realize that
Speaker 6: Beck had different values than you did, completely and you're
Speaker 6: on a completely different life trajectory than you actually wanted
Speaker 6: to be, right.
Speaker 4: Yeah, because we are social creatures and it's a good
Speaker 4: like way to figure out like oh am I tracking?
Speaker 4: Or am I developing? Or am I where I should be?
Speaker 4: Let me have a look at people my own a end.
Speaker 2: Also where do you want to be?
Speaker 6: Because like, if you look for people your own age,
Speaker 6: like are they doing exactly what you want to do?
Speaker 5: That's the thing.
Speaker 4: They're not doing exactly what I want to do. The
Speaker 4: things that make me happy mean that my life isn't
Speaker 4: going to look exactly like that.
Speaker 2: I agree, all right, so I've gone.
Speaker 5: Full hippie dippy.
Speaker 6: A couple of weeks ago, we had our team retreat
Speaker 6: and I went away and I was like working with
Speaker 6: our internal team, so you didn't get a guernsey. I'm
Speaker 6: really sorry because it turns out you don't work for
Speaker 6: me full time yet. But I will continue to rally
Speaker 6: and basically bully you into it at some point. But
Speaker 6: I want to do a really quick exercise, and we
Speaker 6: were all about exercises on retreat, and I want us
Speaker 6: to each share three things that we love that we
Speaker 6: value really highly, that I guess motivates us to live
Speaker 6: our best life or our favorite parts of our life,
Speaker 6: and then explain, why would you prefer if I went first?
Speaker 6: Or would you like to go first?
Speaker 5: Maybe you go first? And shine you shy shine.
Speaker 6: Okay, So I have three things that I've written down,
Speaker 6: and I'm going to put you more on the spot
Speaker 6: because I didn't prep you. But minor like lame things,
Speaker 6: all right, So first thing. First, we know that I
Speaker 6: adore my morning coffee with my husband Steve and my dog.
Speaker 6: I feel like I wake up in the morning and
Speaker 6: it's just like I'm so happy to get out of
Speaker 6: bed at six am. And on the days that my
Speaker 6: husband has to go to work early, we literally prioritize
Speaker 6: getting up even earlier so that we don't miss that
Speaker 6: part of our day.
Speaker 4: To get that is very early, and I'm impressed.
Speaker 2: But that's what's a value to me. And I'm also
Speaker 2: mentioning it because I just.
Speaker 6: Know I couldn't drag your sorry butt out of bed
Speaker 6: to go on a five k walk every morning and
Speaker 6: get a coffee with the dog.
Speaker 2: You'd be like, have fun, guys, I'll be waiting here
Speaker 2: for when you get.
Speaker 4: Back, right, I could think of a million things I'd
Speaker 4: feel it to me.
Speaker 6: That sets my day up, and like, I had to
Speaker 6: be up at like four thirty this morning, right, a
Speaker 6: whole people of work to do. I had really early
Speaker 6: interviews with the US and like, I'm so grateful for that,
Speaker 6: but that was one thing that I missed because I'm.
Speaker 2: Not getting up earlier than four thirty to go for
Speaker 2: a walk with my husband.
Speaker 6: In fact, yeah, I think if i'd that to him,
Speaker 6: he would be like, all right, that's where I draw
Speaker 6: the line.
Speaker 5: Yeah, may as well not go to bed.
Speaker 6: Yeah, Like we're just not doing that, Victoria anyway. So
Speaker 6: I think that's it. I love speaking at events and
Speaker 6: in front of people, like I love big crowds of
Speaker 6: people who are all on the same page, like I
Speaker 6: adore ow she's on the money events. I really love
Speaker 6: connecting with such a big group of people, knowing that
Speaker 6: the content that I'm sharing has an impact. And I
Speaker 6: kind of know that if I said, Hey, Beck, so
Speaker 6: we're going to do an event, you'd be like, have fun,
Speaker 6: I'm not coming. And if I said, hey, Beck, do
Speaker 6: you want to go on stage? Like there's six hundred
Speaker 6: people at this event, Like, what would you say?
Speaker 4: Look, it depends what we're talking about. I don't mind
Speaker 4: a bit of I don't mind being the set of attention,
Speaker 4: but in these kind of situations probably not. I'd probably
Speaker 4: say I will sit in the crowd.
Speaker 6: I'm just remembering back to when we won like the
Speaker 6: Podcast of the Year award and I was like.
Speaker 2: Come up back, and you just stood there frozen and
Speaker 2: you were like.
Speaker 6: No, I got so scared, which is so fine, but
Speaker 6: like so different. And then third, I like just hanging
Speaker 6: out on my own on the couch with my husband
Speaker 6: sometimes if he's allowed.
Speaker 2: I always want my pets there.
Speaker 6: Sometimes I even want my husband to bug off and
Speaker 6: leave me alone so I can watch maths or like
Speaker 6: the Real Housewives of Salt Lake City and not be interrupted.
Speaker 6: And I enjoy that, but I prefer that time sometimes
Speaker 6: above and beyond going out and socializing with my friends. Yeah,
Speaker 6: like I will literally say to them, sorry, I don't
Speaker 6: have the social battery, like I don't want to come out,
Speaker 6: and they respect it. That's fine, it's not a bad thing.
Speaker 6: But I also know that's something you would never do.
Speaker 6: Like if I said to you, hey, Beck, do you
Speaker 6: want to go out? Do you want to sit home
Speaker 6: on your own and watch a TV series? You'd be like,
Speaker 6: why would I sit home on my own?
Speaker 5: Exactly? You know me too.
Speaker 6: Well, I've picked these strategically, But now I want you
Speaker 6: to share three things that you maybe thought about while
Speaker 6: I was talking about that, that you know you love
Speaker 6: and you highly value.
Speaker 2: What do you reckon they are?
Speaker 4: I did absorb all of that then just so happened
Speaker 4: to think of my own three at the same time.
Speaker 4: I promise, I was promise, I was listening. Okay, So obviously,
Speaker 4: as you know, I love rolling the grass.
Speaker 5: I love being.
Speaker 2: Rolling in the grass. That's what you got from it.
Speaker 4: Yeah, basically, And I know it's gonna sound very different
Speaker 4: at six am, not six am ideally, but I like
Speaker 4: rolling the grass, I like listening to I guess it's
Speaker 4: like kind of like a meditation, being in the grass,
Speaker 4: filling the grass.
Speaker 5: Listening to the sounds around me, and just being ever present.
Speaker 4: You know, I love to be present. I've got to
Speaker 4: do that several times a week. Otherwise Where am I?
Speaker 4: Where's my head at?
Speaker 5: You know?
Speaker 4: I always want to be where I am. That's one
Speaker 4: thing that I really value. The second one is I
Speaker 4: know this might come as a surprise, but I do
Speaker 4: like an early morning gym session.
Speaker 2: Oh absolutely not. That sounds terrible to me.
Speaker 5: I mean, obviously in the moment, I hate it.
Speaker 2: What's an early morning gan session to you?
Speaker 6: Though? So like six thirty, No, four am, it's like seven. Oh,
Speaker 6: that's good, but that's still early morning to a lot
Speaker 6: of people. Still early morning to a lot of people.
Speaker 4: But I just feel like I need to get out
Speaker 4: of the ways so I can then enjoy joy what
Speaker 4: is to come.
Speaker 5: And we never know what that is, and that's.
Speaker 2: Which gives me such anxiety.
Speaker 6: We're talking about this the other day and I can't
Speaker 6: remember if it was on Mike or off Mike, but
Speaker 6: basically Beck said, oh, no, I never know what I'm
Speaker 6: doing after work, And I was like, sorry, what, like,
Speaker 6: you don't know what you're doing? After work and you're like, nah,
Speaker 6: like I'll just see what my friends text me what
Speaker 6: they're up to. And I was like, oh no, Like
Speaker 6: after work, I know, like my plan and I will
Speaker 6: be going home and I will be cooking dinner because
Speaker 6: I have an avocado that is going to go off
Speaker 6: and if I don't use that that will give me anxiety.
Speaker 2: And you're like, what, let the avo go off?
Speaker 5: Yeah, let the avo be. She wants to go off.
Speaker 2: Let it go off.
Speaker 4: But that is so true, and this is where we differ.
Speaker 4: That is actually surprisingly going to be my third one.
Speaker 4: So not making plans but always just going with the
Speaker 4: flow and having something to do is what brings me
Speaker 4: so much joy.
Speaker 2: You know, I get it.
Speaker 6: I feel like your phone is consistently going off with
Speaker 6: like hey, Beck, what are you.
Speaker 2: Up to you after work?
Speaker 6: And you'd be like, oh, not much, and then you're
Speaker 6: like at the pub straight after work with someone different
Speaker 6: every night, or like catching up for a pizza, Like
Speaker 6: you have the best social life.
Speaker 2: When I sit back, I'm envious of it because I'm.
Speaker 6: Like that's so wholesome, Like that's so nice, Like how
Speaker 6: nice would it be to have this consistent group of
Speaker 6: friends who just want your.
Speaker 2: Attention, like, do you know what I mean? I know
Speaker 2: what you mean, But then I know if I put
Speaker 2: myself in your shoes, I'd be like, why are you
Speaker 2: guys so obsessed with me? Leave me alone. It's a
Speaker 2: work day.
Speaker 4: On work days, we don't do socializing. I do want
Speaker 4: you to know, I don't have that many friends. It's
Speaker 4: just the same few that they we're all going out
Speaker 4: on their close friends.
Speaker 5: But you know, if the case it like I live.
Speaker 4: It's just me and live actually, but you think like, oh,
Speaker 4: that kind of life looks fun. But then if you
Speaker 4: were to live it, even for a few days a
Speaker 4: few weeks, you'd be like, ah, this actually is not
Speaker 4: bringing me any joy. And so sometimes it is just
Speaker 4: we're kind of like gravitating toward we actually love doing
Speaker 4: you know what I mean?
Speaker 2: Yeah, I absolutely do.
Speaker 6: And I feel like that's actually really cute list, which
Speaker 6: is like completely juxtaposing my list, which is like go
Speaker 6: on a walk in the morning with my dog and
Speaker 6: you're like, get in the bin. I really like speaking
Speaker 6: at events and you're like absolutely not. And then I'm like,
Speaker 6: oh my gosh. I also really just love being by
Speaker 6: myself and you're like ill, David, get out. I want
Speaker 6: to ask, now, have you ever been scrolling through Instagram
Speaker 6: and felt like a little bit jealous or a little
Speaker 6: bit envs or even like a little bit insecure, like
Speaker 6: you're not enough at that moment. When you see someone
Speaker 6: that you follow showing off something, it could be like
Speaker 6: a friend or more obviously like an influencer, So it
Speaker 6: could be like them being on a trip or an
Speaker 6: outfit or whatever.
Speaker 2: It is, like, I feel like, is that a thing?
Speaker 4: It pains me to say, but yes, absolutely, And I
Speaker 4: think it's more so not so much influences going on
Speaker 4: big trips, but it's like if I see friends going
Speaker 4: out to big things like doing stuff, I'm like, I
Speaker 4: want to be friends with you, and I feel sad
Speaker 4: that we're not friends.
Speaker 5: How do I make this happen? Anyway?
Speaker 6: You message them and you just go, hey, pal, want
Speaker 6: to be friends because like you're real cool.
Speaker 2: If you slid into my damns, I'd be like, Beg
Speaker 2: wants to be my friend?
Speaker 6: Yes, queen, I'll try that, all right, Well we can
Speaker 6: be friends now, Okay?
Speaker 2: Winner sick, but I guess I do this as well.
Speaker 6: I feel like TikTok's worse for me because it's like
Speaker 6: video content. I feel like it's more interactive. And also
Speaker 6: I'm really impulsive, but I see people with things and
Speaker 6: I go, oh, I'd love that handbag, or I'd love
Speaker 6: that top, or I'd do this or do that. And
Speaker 6: I find myself either clicking their like link in bios
Speaker 6: and finding out where it's from and you know, putting
Speaker 6: it on a wish list, or even worse like actually
Speaker 6: purchasing it immediately without putting twenty four hours between me
Speaker 6: and my spending.
Speaker 2: Or I just get this.
Speaker 6: Idea in my head that that's something I need, yeah,
Speaker 6: and it's like it's not. And I just look at
Speaker 6: it and go, even this influencer, they probably don't even
Speaker 6: care about that product. It could have just been sent
Speaker 6: to them. And I find myself consistently comparing but also
Speaker 6: just feeling really overwhelmed by it and going, well, why
Speaker 6: do I want that?
Speaker 1: Like?
Speaker 6: And sometimes it'll be late, late at night and I've
Speaker 6: made this little wish list, and then the next day
Speaker 6: I am at work and I'm like, oh, I better
Speaker 6: open my notes app and you know, just drop something
Speaker 6: down really quickly, and I see something and I go,
Speaker 6: why is that in there, like why did I have
Speaker 6: in my head in that moment that that was something
Speaker 6: I absolutely needed? And I think, you know, obviously we
Speaker 6: are really different, and what motivates us and excites us
Speaker 6: and how we get our energy is going to be
Speaker 6: really different. Let's say that you and I are both
Speaker 6: on the journey to buying a new car, but our
Speaker 6: path to that or what makes that look likely for
Speaker 6: us is going to be really different. Like your values
Speaker 6: to begin with about what car, and your savings patterns
Speaker 6: and your plans and you know what you're going to
Speaker 6: use your car for are going to be very very
Speaker 6: different to mine. And I think that our obsession with
Speaker 6: social media makes us feel this more acutely, like the
Speaker 6: danger of comparing ourselves to others is that I guess
Speaker 6: comparisons are never fair.
Speaker 2: You never see the full picture.
Speaker 6: Right, Like the amount of times I have been sent
Speaker 6: posts by my girlfriends being like, oh my god, this
Speaker 6: bag is so cute that that influencer has and I
Speaker 6: will reply and be like, yep, they probably got sent it,
Speaker 6: or it was probably free, like there's no way that
Speaker 6: they would pay five thousand dollars for that. They are
Speaker 6: just promoting it, or oh this car is really cool.
Speaker 6: I can't believe she achieved that. And I'm like, yep,
Speaker 6: that's in brand new car with a big red bowl
Speaker 6: on it and looks fantastic. But like, I'm pretty sure
Speaker 6: that would be all financed, Like that's gonna be on debt.
Speaker 6: There's no way that she's buying a sixty thousand dollar
Speaker 6: car in cash. Like you know, you think back at
Speaker 6: twelve months and I go, no, that doesn't make sense
Speaker 6: for their financial situation. But we don't have that light
Speaker 6: in those moments. You only see like the highlights reel.
Speaker 6: I suppose, and while every single one of us is
Speaker 6: unique and you know, things happen and it might not
Speaker 6: be true. I think by comparing ourselves to the journey
Speaker 6: of others, we're really negating our own road, and we're
Speaker 6: demanding that the past be different to what it actually is.
Speaker 6: Instead of honoring who we were and honoring past us
Speaker 6: and you know, stepping up and being that human being
Speaker 6: that passed us needs us to be, we're just putting
Speaker 6: ourselves behind. And the demand we place on ourselves to
Speaker 6: be like those people that we actually compare ourselves to
Speaker 6: might actually be motivation for change, and that could be
Speaker 6: a good thing, but like.
Speaker 2: Why are you changing?
Speaker 6: Is this actually leading to more feelings of like diminished
Speaker 6: self worth when you're trying to be somebody else instead
Speaker 6: of just who you were meant to be?
Speaker 7: Yes?
Speaker 2: So true? Like, oh it makes me very angry.
Speaker 6: Yeah, that's fair, especially when I see people and they're
Speaker 6: comparing themselves. It's less about me and more about like,
Speaker 6: I hate that other people go through this because.
Speaker 2: I know what that looks like.
Speaker 6: Yeah, like I still do it, don't get me wrong,
Speaker 6: but I feel like I might have stepped a little
Speaker 6: bit beyond that. But then I can also really see
Speaker 6: that happening to my friends, or that happening to other
Speaker 6: people around me and or people in our community, and.
Speaker 2: I go, stop it, Like, you're perfect the way that
Speaker 2: you are.
Speaker 4: Yes, We're all where we're meant to be right here.
Speaker 2: Isn't that get my phone case? What does it say?
Speaker 5: You're exactly where you need to be.
Speaker 2: I love that.
Speaker 6: Yeah, And I think it's really important to consistently remind
Speaker 6: yourself of that, because you are exactly where you need
Speaker 6: to be, whether it feels that way or not. Like
Speaker 6: you know how many times you felt I'm not meant
Speaker 6: to be here like this is the worst ever, and
Speaker 6: then something around the corner happens and you go, that
Speaker 6: makes sense as to why I was in that position
Speaker 6: or that mental space or whatever it was, so I
Speaker 6: could appreciate this totally.
Speaker 4: I do also just want to say that this is
Speaker 4: a very privileged way to think. Sometimes we are not
Speaker 4: always in a really good or safe or healthy place,
Speaker 4: and to say like we are where we need to be.
Speaker 4: It doesn't necessarily fit every single mold, but however, still
Speaker 4: I feel like the entire message of this episode is
Speaker 4: still relevant to those people as well, but.
Speaker 6: I think embracing it for change is important. If you're
Speaker 6: in a really shitty position right now, Let's be honest,
Speaker 6: I don't want you to be there, you know. If
Speaker 6: we can reframe it and go all right, well, we
Speaker 6: want to get you out of that. This is going
Speaker 6: to be a pivotal point in your life that I
Speaker 6: know at some point you're not going to say I
Speaker 6: really wish that that never happened. You're going to that
Speaker 6: was really shitty. It was never a nice time, but
Speaker 6: it's made me who I am today like and I
Speaker 6: think that we were to pivot our mindset as well
Speaker 6: and go you know what people say, there's so many
Speaker 6: awful things that happen in the world, right, and like,
Speaker 6: I would never say that blanket about everything, but I
Speaker 6: think if you can even change your mindset, that is
Speaker 6: going to help you get to a better place faster.
Speaker 5: Completely agree. V.
Speaker 4: I remember last year we're talking about keeping up with
Speaker 4: the Joneses, and we had some stats on what privilege
Speaker 4: looks like on a global stage.
Speaker 5: So this is good.
Speaker 2: I know where you're going with this.
Speaker 6: Yes, you mind, if you're just gonna you're just gonna
Speaker 6: like humble us go yeah.
Speaker 4: I mean, basically, we found that if you have a
Speaker 4: roof of your head, three meals a day, access to
Speaker 4: running water, and you make more than forty thousand dollars
Speaker 4: a year, you are in the top one percent of
Speaker 4: the world in terms of the median annual household income.
Speaker 2: Isn't that insane?
Speaker 6: It is?
Speaker 2: And so many times we're like, ah, I'm broke, I'm this,
Speaker 2: I'm that. No, you're not.
Speaker 6: I hate when people use those terms of reference when
Speaker 6: they're not. If you're actually broke, you can talk about it.
Speaker 6: I want to hear it. I want to help you.
Speaker 6: I want to be on that journey I do not
Speaker 6: want to hear people saying I'm broke, knowing full well
Speaker 6: they have ten thousand dollars in their savings account for
Speaker 6: an emergency fund. Like that just makes me so frustrated
Speaker 6: because it takes away from the gravity of that situation. Like,
Speaker 6: if you are broke, that's really friggin' hart Like Beck,
Speaker 6: you've been there, it's overwhelming. It must be frustrating when
Speaker 6: other people come along and go, yeah, me too, and
Speaker 6: you're like, hmmm.
Speaker 2: It's a bit different though in it, Like it is.
Speaker 4: A bit funny when I'm like, oh, I've got literally
Speaker 4: seven dollars to payday and people are like, oh, same,
Speaker 4: I don't want to dip into my savings. I'm like,
Speaker 4: ah see, see that's where we differ my friends exactly.
Speaker 5: I want exactly what does that mean?
Speaker 6: Yeah, So we found during that research that the world
Speaker 6: median household income was nine thousand, seven hundred and thirty
Speaker 6: three dollars.
Speaker 5: Wow.
Speaker 6: Okay, okay, that's I mean good and bad. But it
Speaker 6: just puts in context as well that when we're talking
Speaker 6: about this, Oh my god, did you see on social
Speaker 6: media such and such got a handbag or I've been
Speaker 6: thinking about a new car and you know, ha ha,
Speaker 6: I'm broke. I have seven dollars in my account, but like,
Speaker 6: I just really don't want to dip into my savings.
Speaker 6: Like that is so privileged. And it's okay, I'm not
Speaker 6: calling you out. Keep doing it, It's fine. But I
Speaker 6: think we also need to step back and go, how
Speaker 6: flipping lucky are we to live in a country where
Speaker 6: you know, at the end of the day, Beck, if
Speaker 6: you broke your leg, we could fix it for free.
Speaker 2: That's not going to financially impact you.
Speaker 6: Like you are in a world that supports you, and
Speaker 6: that's not a privilege that is extended to the entire
Speaker 6: population of this world.
Speaker 2: I think we're really.
Speaker 4: Lucky, totally grievy. We were like discussing before how different
Speaker 4: we kind of all are. Would be fair to say too,
Speaker 4: that we'd all have different levels of comfort when it
Speaker 4: comes to like being in debt and one.
Speaker 6: Hundred percent, And I think it really plays into your
Speaker 6: education levels as well, right, Like you've been in debt.
Speaker 6: I have been in debt, and at the time that
Speaker 6: I got in debt, I hadn't no idea what that
Speaker 6: really meant. I feel like I had some blinkers on,
Speaker 6: and I was kind of like, well, this will be fine.
Speaker 6: I was paid off, right, I'm sure that when you
Speaker 6: were doing it you were like, is this fine? Like
Speaker 6: I'll work it out later, right, Like, you just don't
Speaker 6: go into it going this could impact my entire life,
Speaker 6: because if I had sat you down and said at
Speaker 6: the time, heyback, so the decisions that you're making, they're
Speaker 6: really gonna if you up, yeah, it's going to put
Speaker 6: you in a really shitty position.
Speaker 2: I don't think you would have consented.
Speaker 6: I think you would have been like, hold up, hold up,
Speaker 6: hold up, No, I don't want whatever you're talking about.
Speaker 2: You thank you, like, and I mean, sometimes it's.
Speaker 6: Completely unavoidable, right, Like, I know you've shared a lot
Speaker 6: of your debt journey on here, and it's not as
Speaker 6: though you were just frivolous and went and spent a
Speaker 6: whole heap of money on designer shit that you didn't need.
Speaker 6: That wasn't your story, like yours was out of genuine need.
Speaker 6: But even out of genuine need, you didn't have the
Speaker 6: level of financial literacy to go, well, actually, how could
Speaker 6: I structure this? Maybe I could X, Y and Z,
Speaker 6: Like you just didn't have that, So I think you
Speaker 6: never really know what's going on for so you cannot
Speaker 6: judge their situation.
Speaker 2: And when we say, oh, what's your risk to taking
Speaker 2: on debt?
Speaker 6: Like I am at current in more debt than I
Speaker 6: have ever been in my entire life, beck, and I
Speaker 6: am so grateful. I am because it is good debt,
Speaker 6: Like it's for mortgages for the properties that I own,
Speaker 6: and I am so grateful for that. But that is
Speaker 6: a very different, very educated decision. And I remember getting
Speaker 6: those mortgages and being so scared of getting them because
Speaker 6: it was so much to undertake. But on the flip side,
Speaker 6: I was not fearful at all when I took on
Speaker 6: forty plus thousand dollars worth of personal debt, which was
Speaker 6: actually even more detrimental to my financial wellbeing. So like
Speaker 6: I just didn't know what I didn't know, and you
Speaker 6: wouldn't either, Yes, And I guess you've got no idea
Speaker 6: what somebody else's financial situation or financial literacy levels are.
Speaker 6: Maybe they're in epic amounts of debt, but that's like
Speaker 6: really normal to them, and they actually grew up in
Speaker 6: a debt cycle, so they actually fear really comfy with
Speaker 6: that I'm just happy with what's going on. Does that
Speaker 6: mean that's going to be okay for you? Well, maybe
Speaker 6: it is, but likely it's not. And I think that
Speaker 6: that's where you need to go. Well, your journey is
Speaker 6: not my jooney, and that's actually a really beautiful thing.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I completely agree. This kind of reminds me. Do
Speaker 4: you remember that old saying money doesn't buy happiness?
Speaker 6: Yeah, I want to put that in the bin. I mean, yes,
Speaker 6: I completely agree. But you know what money does do.
Speaker 6: It brings some level of financial security, and you know what,
Speaker 6: it also can take it away. So I guess being
Speaker 6: in debt because you've bought too much stuff or made
Speaker 6: a decision that compromises yourself is not great. But I
Speaker 6: think that we need to remember that the saying money
Speaker 6: doesn't buy happiness. I've never heard someone who's broker in
Speaker 6: debt say.
Speaker 5: That one hundred pece like I've.
Speaker 6: Literally never heard it come out of the mouth of
Speaker 6: somebody who's financially struggling.
Speaker 2: Yes, Ve, don't worry. Money doesn't buy happiness.
Speaker 6: Can buy dinner, do what, it can buy electricity, it
Speaker 6: can pay your water bill, it can do so much.
Speaker 2: And do you know what that does?
Speaker 6: It takes stress off, and people who are less rest
Speaker 6: are happier.
Speaker 5: Yeah.
Speaker 6: So, like, I agree the old saying money doesn't buy
Speaker 6: happiness because it's not about the fancy things, it's about
Speaker 6: basic needs. There's a level I reckon where we need
Speaker 6: to all earn X and I mean this is scientifically proven.
Speaker 6: It's a household income of about eighty five thousand dollars total.
Speaker 6: And if you meet that more money doesn't contribute to
Speaker 6: higher levels of happiness. That makes sense if you are
Speaker 6: broke or in debt or financially struggling, I'd be pretty
Speaker 6: happy to find fifty bucks on the ground.
Speaker 4: Yeap, I completely agree. At the very least, it will
Speaker 4: take away your anxiety, leaving space for happiness exactly. But V,
Speaker 4: I think this is a really good time to go
Speaker 4: to a really quick break. And on the flip side,
Speaker 4: we're gonna give you some tips to help combat comparison culture.
Speaker 2: I love this. Don't go anywhere.
Speaker 4: Okay, we are back, and V, what can we do
Speaker 4: if comparison culture is breaking us and sending us broke?
Speaker 6: There's heaps you can do. And I bet right now
Speaker 6: you're thinking, no, there's not the but there is. I've
Speaker 6: made a whole list.
Speaker 5: We know how much I love a list, believe it
Speaker 5: when I see it.
Speaker 6: All right, Well, take my little notes off me and
Speaker 6: I can have you read it out, all right. So,
Speaker 6: first thing I've written down is we really need to
Speaker 6: remind ourselves that our self worth is not based on
Speaker 6: our behaviors or what we have or don't have. Though
Speaker 6: it's quite all right to admire you know, your colleagues
Speaker 6: wardrobe or like Beck's brand isshoes, or a friend's job,
Speaker 6: our admiration should stop there, like, oh wow, they're nice, Beck, congrats,
Speaker 6: you must love them full stop.
Speaker 2: End of story.
Speaker 6: Once we cross into comparing our own wardrobe or our
Speaker 6: job to their job, we kind of enter a really
Speaker 6: dangerous zone that might actually result in us feeling.
Speaker 2: Like trash about ourselves.
Speaker 6: Yeah, like Beck has such nice shoes. Oh my shoes
Speaker 6: are not so good. I'm distilling it down really simply,
Speaker 6: And you might go via that such a stereotypical example,
Speaker 6: but I know you know what I mean, Like it
Speaker 6: could be anything I've then written down. We need to
Speaker 6: use those feelings of insecurity, anxiety, or jealousy to send
Speaker 6: it into ourselves and see what it is actually want like,
Speaker 6: why Beck, are you feeling like that? Often those feelings
Speaker 6: are there as triggers that make us want to change
Speaker 6: something in ourselves deeply. It might be you're actually not
Speaker 6: very happy with your job and you need to look
Speaker 6: for a new job. It's not Beck's job that you want,
Speaker 6: in fact, like you probably won't even like it, Like
Speaker 6: you have such different values, Like if I am unhappy
Speaker 6: in my job, I might look at you Beck and
Speaker 6: go for ou do she loves her job? Maybe I
Speaker 6: should do what Beck does, Like she just looks so happy.
Speaker 6: What you need to do is spend a little bit
Speaker 6: more time with yourself and work out what that is. Like,
Speaker 6: whatever it is, have a think about it. Because I
Speaker 6: promise you spending money to get into the same position
Speaker 6: as somebody else because you see their happiness, it's not going.
Speaker 2: To change anything.
Speaker 6: Sadly, next you're not going to be surprised with number
Speaker 6: three I've written down, celebrate your achievements. I think it's
Speaker 6: really important Beck to take time to appreciate your milestones,
Speaker 6: like not through social media, not through like posting a
Speaker 6: cute post or spending money, but like in a meanful way,
Speaker 6: in doing something that nourishes you. And you go, wow,
Speaker 6: I'm really proud of that. It could be as silly
Speaker 6: as writing yourself a letter like write past you a
Speaker 6: letter of how proud you are of how far you've gotten.
Speaker 6: I promise when you sit down you feel like a
Speaker 6: bit of a nufty doing it, you'll be like, this
Speaker 6: is so lame. At the end of it, you'll be like,
Speaker 6: I'm so proud of me. Like you don't even have
Speaker 6: to show anyone. You could rip it up or burn it,
Speaker 6: like hide it.
Speaker 5: Yeah, that's a really sweet idea.
Speaker 6: The next is practice mindfulness. I think this is really important.
Speaker 6: You are really good at this, so maybe you've got
Speaker 6: some hot tips and tricks at some point for us
Speaker 6: on how to be more mindful. I mean your version
Speaker 6: of mindfulness is literally rolling around in grass listening to meditations.
Speaker 6: But like, I will take your tips because you're hella happy,
Speaker 6: and then I've written down implement healthier behaviors and boundaries
Speaker 6: around social media. I genuinely believe that you should be
Speaker 6: unfollowing and muting things that make you feel bad or
Speaker 6: that you see and you just get a pang of
Speaker 6: anxiety or guilt. Yeah, hmm, this is probably not something
Speaker 6: I want to say publicly, but I'm gonna do it anyway.
Speaker 5: Oh yeah, I'm scared.
Speaker 6: I have heaps of people that I follow that I
Speaker 6: have muted. Yeah, I don't want to unfollow you. I'm
Speaker 6: not rude, like I like you as a human being.
Speaker 6: Don't want to see stuff. Yeah, it just doesn't help
Speaker 6: me live my best life. I always feel not amazing
Speaker 6: about seeing it, or it annoys me or something. Sure,
Speaker 6: the mute functionality is great. Don't have to tell you
Speaker 6: I unfollowed you. No one knows.
Speaker 5: Yeah, I love that.
Speaker 2: Now people that I follow are going to be like,
Speaker 2: is that me?
Speaker 6: Probably? But people are monetizing your attention, Beck, that is
Speaker 6: worth something, whether it's on social media or if it's
Speaker 6: on TV. So I think that we really need to
Speaker 6: make sure that they're working hard for your money and
Speaker 6: making you feel good, inspired and super motivated. And then
Speaker 6: I guess the last thing I do want to add
Speaker 6: in there, Beck, We touched on it before is privilege obviously,
Speaker 6: but if you're in financial trouble, speak to someone like,
Speaker 6: raise your hand like it is not embarrassing.
Speaker 2: You are not behind.
Speaker 6: Your financial position does not dictate whether you are a
Speaker 6: good or a bad human being.
Speaker 2: Some of my.
Speaker 6: Favorite people in this entire world are broke as hell,
Speaker 6: and some of the people that I have met through
Speaker 6: my journey as an ex financial advisor to ultra wealthy
Speaker 6: people give me the biggest stick in the entire world.
Speaker 6: Your personality and who you are as a human being
Speaker 6: is not made up by money, is not made up
Speaker 6: by how wealthy you are, how much money you've got
Speaker 6: in the bank, or how good you are with it.
Speaker 2: It's actually who you are as a human being.
Speaker 6: And I think so often we tie our self worth
Speaker 6: to our net worth, yes, and that makes no sense.
Speaker 6: Like have you ever looked at someone and be like,
Speaker 6: they earn fifty thousand dollars.
Speaker 4: They look like they've got fifteen k in the bank.
Speaker 4: I want to be their friends?
Speaker 6: Yeah, no one does that, right, Like, I want to
Speaker 6: be friends with you because you're cool, and you're kind,
Speaker 6: and you're nice, you're kind of funny.
Speaker 5: Like totally, that's what I.
Speaker 2: Want to surround myself with.
Speaker 6: And I think that if you're in financial trouble, it
Speaker 6: is so easy to bury your head in the sands
Speaker 6: because you feel like it's a reflection of you, and
Speaker 6: it's not.
Speaker 2: It's just a situation.
Speaker 6: You've found yourself in, Like, you're not debt, you're just
Speaker 6: someone experiencing it and you can get out of it.
Speaker 6: That's cool, Like, let's work on that. So speak to
Speaker 6: your banks, consolidate your debts. Call the National Debt Helpline,
Speaker 6: who we talk about all the time and we adore.
Speaker 6: But I think it's just it's so important to remember
Speaker 6: that is not a reflection of who you are, and Beck,
Speaker 6: this has been you before. Would you recommend reaching out
Speaker 6: for help?
Speaker 4: Yeah, definitely. And it's like a good thing to remember
Speaker 4: that the person you're speaking to, the people that you're
Speaker 4: reaching out to, have probably seen this before, if not
Speaker 4: worse situations. It's just whatever, isn't it. It's just money.
Speaker 4: At the end of the day. It's so easy to
Speaker 4: get into debt, so easy to get out of debt.
Speaker 4: It's not so easy to get out of debt, but
Speaker 4: it's easy to start making a change exactly.
Speaker 2: And I think that you raise a really good point.
Speaker 6: I think sometimes when we're like, oh my god, I
Speaker 6: have to call the National Debt Helpline, No, I'm not
Speaker 6: picking up the phone. Like most of those people work
Speaker 6: at the National Debt Hopeline because they've been impacted by
Speaker 6: that before, so they get it properly. You're not calling
Speaker 6: a CEO of the bank and being like, Hi, you're
Speaker 6: a millionaire, and like I just don't understand. You're calling
Speaker 6: someone who's wildly passionate about getting people out of debt.
Speaker 4: Yeah, exactly, let them go away, let them help you.
Speaker 4: But any last points to end the show.
Speaker 6: I guess something else and is the stereotypical victoria divine quota.
Speaker 2: It's just babes.
Speaker 6: You do you like, there is nobody quite like you,
Speaker 6: with your background and your experience and your hopes and
Speaker 6: your dreams. Just have a think back about our Monday episodes,
Speaker 6: Like everyone is so different, and that's what makes.
Speaker 2: It so beautiful.
Speaker 6: Like if we're all cookie cutter in the same like
Speaker 6: I'm not going to learn from your experience, like our
Speaker 6: money direst section of the podcast, I'm sorry today's episode
Speaker 6: that's my favorite because you get to know people on
Speaker 6: this deep level and they share their experiences so that
Speaker 6: we can be richer for it physically and like mentally.
Speaker 6: But I think really understanding that your journey is uniquely
Speaker 6: yours and it doesn't matter what the heck anybody else
Speaker 6: is doing, completely agree. There's something really sexy about somebody
Speaker 6: who just knows who they are.
Speaker 2: Yeah, if they're like I don't need that, you go, wow,
Speaker 2: I wish I had that conviction.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I completely agree. I aspire to be like that.
Speaker 4: That's the only comparison I'll be doing today. But I
Speaker 4: think this is a really good place to leave it
Speaker 4: for now. Let's go have a little tea.
Speaker 2: I love a little tea.
Speaker 6: Sit in the grass, Sit in the grass. Teach me
Speaker 6: how to meditate, Yes, if I can do that, but
Speaker 6: like I'm willing to try.
Speaker 5: Everyone can have a good week.
Speaker 2: Guys. We will see you on Friday.
Speaker 5: Bye, guys.
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Speaker 7: on the Money exists purely for educational purposes and should
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