1 00:00:05,880 --> 00:00:09,879 Speaker 1: While not explicit, the content of today's podcast is for 2 00:00:10,760 --> 00:00:16,799 Speaker 1: mature audiences. We advise listener discretion. Today's content will be 3 00:00:16,920 --> 00:00:21,400 Speaker 1: for mature audiences. Just recently, a mum came to me 4 00:00:21,760 --> 00:00:27,000 Speaker 1: after apparent night and while she was upset, in fact, 5 00:00:27,080 --> 00:00:30,720 Speaker 1: she was furious. She and her husband were in the 6 00:00:30,760 --> 00:00:34,559 Speaker 1: process of splitting. In fact, in the week just previous, 7 00:00:34,800 --> 00:00:37,000 Speaker 1: he had been told to pack his things and moved out. 8 00:00:37,120 --> 00:00:39,839 Speaker 1: She and their daughter had gone away for the weekend. 9 00:00:40,320 --> 00:00:42,680 Speaker 1: Their daughter around about nine or ten years of age. 10 00:00:43,400 --> 00:00:46,080 Speaker 1: They came home after he'd moved out. The daughter turned 11 00:00:46,120 --> 00:00:48,639 Speaker 1: on the computer and this nine or ten year old 12 00:00:48,720 --> 00:00:56,200 Speaker 1: girl was confronted with a hardcore pornography site, breathtakingly explicit 13 00:00:56,280 --> 00:01:02,040 Speaker 1: content and she screamed, your children are almost certain to 14 00:01:02,080 --> 00:01:05,959 Speaker 1: see pornography today. How to talk to your children about 15 00:01:06,120 --> 00:01:10,639 Speaker 1: explicit content on the Internet. Hello, this is the Happy 16 00:01:10,640 --> 00:01:14,400 Speaker 1: Families podcast, Real parenting Solutions every day on Australia's most 17 00:01:14,400 --> 00:01:17,840 Speaker 1: downloaded parenting podcast. We are justin and Kylie Coulson. 18 00:01:18,280 --> 00:01:20,440 Speaker 2: I really wish we didn't have to have this conversation. 19 00:01:20,800 --> 00:01:22,200 Speaker 1: Horrible story is. 20 00:01:22,160 --> 00:01:25,000 Speaker 2: So important that we find a way to pre arm 21 00:01:25,040 --> 00:01:25,520 Speaker 2: our kids. 22 00:01:26,000 --> 00:01:27,760 Speaker 1: Yeah, and let's just talk about stats so that we 23 00:01:27,800 --> 00:01:31,160 Speaker 1: can be clear about why it's so important. Parents often 24 00:01:31,280 --> 00:01:34,240 Speaker 1: underestimate their children's exposure to pornography. I've just been writing 25 00:01:34,240 --> 00:01:36,400 Speaker 1: about this in my book about Boys, so I'm just 26 00:01:36,440 --> 00:01:38,840 Speaker 1: going to read an excerpt from that book right now. 27 00:01:39,240 --> 00:01:42,600 Speaker 1: I've written the most active consumers of pornography worldwide or 28 00:01:42,640 --> 00:01:47,040 Speaker 1: age between fifteen and twenty years. Pornography is typically, though 29 00:01:47,080 --> 00:01:51,040 Speaker 1: not entirely, a boy thing. According to doctor Marshall Valentine Jones, 30 00:01:51,080 --> 00:01:54,840 Speaker 1: an Australian researcher on the topic, boys typically encounter it 31 00:01:55,000 --> 00:01:58,480 Speaker 1: around age thirteen, though many have their first exposure in 32 00:01:58,520 --> 00:02:01,760 Speaker 1: primary school. Experts suggest that the average age of first 33 00:02:01,800 --> 00:02:05,200 Speaker 1: exposure is closer to ten or eleven. Girls generally encounter 34 00:02:05,240 --> 00:02:08,519 Speaker 1: it later, around age sixteen. Kylie. Here are a couple 35 00:02:08,560 --> 00:02:12,080 Speaker 1: of other alarming stats. Number One, by the age of fifteen, 36 00:02:12,200 --> 00:02:14,520 Speaker 1: ninety nine percent of boys are estimated to have seen 37 00:02:14,520 --> 00:02:18,680 Speaker 1: pornography explicit content. Fifty to seventy percent of fifteen year 38 00:02:18,680 --> 00:02:23,920 Speaker 1: old girls have. This is sobering. A twenty seventeen Australian 39 00:02:24,080 --> 00:02:27,200 Speaker 1: study revealed that among fifteen to twenty nine year olds, 40 00:02:28,120 --> 00:02:32,320 Speaker 1: every male respondent that's one hundred percent of fifteen to 41 00:02:32,320 --> 00:02:36,359 Speaker 1: twenty nine year olds in this study reported exposure to pornography. 42 00:02:36,840 --> 00:02:42,480 Speaker 1: More concerning the consumption patterns, thirteen nine percent viewed it daily, 43 00:02:43,400 --> 00:02:47,799 Speaker 1: another forty six percent viewed it weekly. Wow, which means 44 00:02:47,800 --> 00:02:49,519 Speaker 1: that eighty five percent of young men in this age 45 00:02:49,560 --> 00:02:53,960 Speaker 1: group are regular consumers of pornography, with only fifteen percent 46 00:02:54,040 --> 00:02:59,480 Speaker 1: abstaining from weekly use. Wow. So there's one more thing 47 00:02:59,480 --> 00:03:01,800 Speaker 1: that I need to say about this, and I struggle 48 00:03:01,960 --> 00:03:04,240 Speaker 1: to bring it up. But I was doing a parent 49 00:03:04,280 --> 00:03:05,919 Speaker 1: not a few years ago, and we were going to 50 00:03:05,960 --> 00:03:08,200 Speaker 1: be talking about this kind of content. A dad came 51 00:03:08,280 --> 00:03:09,680 Speaker 1: up to me ahead of time. He knew what we 52 00:03:09,720 --> 00:03:13,040 Speaker 1: had on the agenda, and he said, so this pornography conversation, 53 00:03:13,480 --> 00:03:16,880 Speaker 1: I don't get the big deal. It's just boops. And 54 00:03:16,960 --> 00:03:20,040 Speaker 1: I responded by saying, I'm not sure if you're familiar 55 00:03:20,080 --> 00:03:24,520 Speaker 1: with what intimate pornography is out there, but the pornography 56 00:03:24,520 --> 00:03:27,200 Speaker 1: that you're thinking of, the pornograph perhaps from when you 57 00:03:27,240 --> 00:03:30,320 Speaker 1: are a young man, it's changed. Here's a quote in 58 00:03:30,360 --> 00:03:32,880 Speaker 1: my book from Louise Perry, the author of the Case 59 00:03:32,880 --> 00:03:37,480 Speaker 1: Against the Sexual Revolution. She says pornography quote normalizes styles 60 00:03:37,480 --> 00:03:40,480 Speaker 1: of sex, which tend to be very aggressive and degrading, 61 00:03:40,760 --> 00:03:45,119 Speaker 1: particularly towards women. But it's worse than that. This content 62 00:03:45,200 --> 00:03:48,680 Speaker 1: is shaping sexual expectations and understandings at a critical formative 63 00:03:48,720 --> 00:03:52,520 Speaker 1: age before they have any sense of what is pleasurable. 64 00:03:52,800 --> 00:03:54,920 Speaker 1: I mean, you think about it, Kylie. If kids are 65 00:03:54,960 --> 00:03:59,040 Speaker 1: exposed to this content somewhere between nine, ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen, 66 00:04:00,200 --> 00:04:02,480 Speaker 1: usually they're not going to have their first kiss until 67 00:04:02,480 --> 00:04:08,240 Speaker 1: they're what fifteen, sixteen, seventeen, maybe thirteen if they're early starters, 68 00:04:08,280 --> 00:04:12,320 Speaker 1: But on average, Marshall Valentine Jones, researcher in this area, 69 00:04:12,400 --> 00:04:15,680 Speaker 1: told me that most kids are seeing explicit content about 70 00:04:15,680 --> 00:04:17,240 Speaker 1: three to three and a half years before they have 71 00:04:17,320 --> 00:04:20,120 Speaker 1: their first kiss, So it's shaping their beliefs well before 72 00:04:20,120 --> 00:04:22,040 Speaker 1: they're engaged in the behaviors, which means that the way 73 00:04:22,080 --> 00:04:24,920 Speaker 1: they'll behave is different well. 74 00:04:24,960 --> 00:04:30,440 Speaker 2: And the challenging thing is that both males and females 75 00:04:30,600 --> 00:04:36,480 Speaker 2: are seeing this and it literally is creating the foundations 76 00:04:36,520 --> 00:04:41,160 Speaker 2: of what they think is a loving relationship. Because we 77 00:04:41,320 --> 00:04:48,760 Speaker 2: associate sex and sexual intimacy as part of a loving relationship. 78 00:04:49,320 --> 00:04:51,880 Speaker 1: Well, pornography changes that, and that's what we need to 79 00:04:51,880 --> 00:04:54,760 Speaker 1: talk about. What does it actually do. We could talk 80 00:04:54,800 --> 00:04:57,520 Speaker 1: a lot about the content. I don't think that's constructive 81 00:04:57,560 --> 00:05:00,400 Speaker 1: for our discussion today. Instead, we want to see with you 82 00:05:00,600 --> 00:05:03,680 Speaker 1: a handful of ways, a handful of things that you 83 00:05:03,720 --> 00:05:05,520 Speaker 1: need to be aware of so that you can talk 84 00:05:05,600 --> 00:05:09,719 Speaker 1: with your children because chances are they're almost certain to 85 00:05:09,760 --> 00:05:10,600 Speaker 1: see pornography. 86 00:05:10,920 --> 00:05:13,480 Speaker 2: I said at the beginning, the most important thing that 87 00:05:13,520 --> 00:05:16,920 Speaker 2: we can do is pre arm our kids. Yeah, start 88 00:05:17,080 --> 00:05:21,840 Speaker 2: having conversations. Have it. Literally, it's a natural part of 89 00:05:21,880 --> 00:05:24,760 Speaker 2: the relationship you have with your child. They come home 90 00:05:24,800 --> 00:05:26,880 Speaker 2: from school, they ask you a question because they've heard 91 00:05:26,920 --> 00:05:29,440 Speaker 2: something in the playground being talked about that they don't know. 92 00:05:29,880 --> 00:05:32,279 Speaker 1: I still remember one of my sisters came home from 93 00:05:32,720 --> 00:05:35,120 Speaker 1: pony camp when my parents sent them off for that, 94 00:05:35,680 --> 00:05:40,800 Speaker 1: and she walked into mum, who was working with a customer. 95 00:05:40,839 --> 00:05:42,560 Speaker 1: At the time, mom and dad owned a furniture shop. 96 00:05:42,600 --> 00:05:44,360 Speaker 1: So my mom's trying to sell like a sofa or 97 00:05:44,400 --> 00:05:46,960 Speaker 1: a dining suite to a customer, and my little sister 98 00:05:47,400 --> 00:05:51,360 Speaker 1: asks her to explain to her what a certain sex 99 00:05:51,440 --> 00:05:53,480 Speaker 1: act is. Now, my sister may not have even known 100 00:05:53,520 --> 00:05:55,960 Speaker 1: that it was a sex act, but in front of 101 00:05:56,000 --> 00:05:58,960 Speaker 1: this stranger, my sister has said, hey, Mum, what's her 102 00:05:59,080 --> 00:06:01,719 Speaker 1: and then she's shared the sex act and Mum has 103 00:06:01,800 --> 00:06:04,039 Speaker 1: obviously gone bright red and said, I'll talk to you 104 00:06:04,040 --> 00:06:05,880 Speaker 1: about this later. And then look at the look with 105 00:06:05,960 --> 00:06:07,480 Speaker 1: the guy that's trying to buy the furniture and s 106 00:06:07,520 --> 00:06:09,279 Speaker 1: that I'm so sorry about that. She's just come home 107 00:06:09,320 --> 00:06:11,280 Speaker 1: from ponycamp. I wonder what they've been doing at night 108 00:06:11,320 --> 00:06:14,880 Speaker 1: when they've been supposed to be sleeping. So the way 109 00:06:14,920 --> 00:06:16,960 Speaker 1: that I say it is this talk early talk. Often. 110 00:06:17,000 --> 00:06:19,080 Speaker 1: I think that we want to have every difficult conversation 111 00:06:19,120 --> 00:06:21,479 Speaker 1: you can imagine with your children before they're too And 112 00:06:21,480 --> 00:06:23,520 Speaker 1: it's not because the children will understand it. They won't, 113 00:06:23,640 --> 00:06:26,320 Speaker 1: so that you can become comfortable with talking about difficult 114 00:06:26,320 --> 00:06:28,760 Speaker 1: things with your children from an early age. And like 115 00:06:28,800 --> 00:06:30,960 Speaker 1: you said, Kylie, when they walk in the door and 116 00:06:30,960 --> 00:06:33,600 Speaker 1: they've got a tough question, embrace it. 117 00:06:33,760 --> 00:06:37,479 Speaker 2: Yeah, don't shy away from it. How amazing that your 118 00:06:37,600 --> 00:06:40,599 Speaker 2: kid wants to come home and talk to you, the 119 00:06:40,640 --> 00:06:44,880 Speaker 2: person they trust to the most, about difficult things, like, 120 00:06:45,000 --> 00:06:48,000 Speaker 2: don't shy away from it. Have those conversations, sit down 121 00:06:48,040 --> 00:06:50,080 Speaker 2: with them, talk about it. Yeah, they might be a 122 00:06:50,120 --> 00:06:53,320 Speaker 2: little bit uncomfortable, but if you can normalize that, then 123 00:06:53,320 --> 00:06:55,279 Speaker 2: they'll come to you and talk to you about anything. 124 00:06:55,480 --> 00:06:57,880 Speaker 1: Not talking about it isn't protective. I know that that's 125 00:06:57,920 --> 00:07:00,360 Speaker 1: a double negative, but you get where I'm going with that. 126 00:07:00,760 --> 00:07:02,800 Speaker 1: Not talking about it isn't protective. You need to talk 127 00:07:02,800 --> 00:07:04,240 Speaker 1: about it because that's where the protection goes. 128 00:07:04,400 --> 00:07:06,360 Speaker 2: We want to bubble wrap them up, right. We don't 129 00:07:06,400 --> 00:07:08,240 Speaker 2: want them to know that this stuff exists. 130 00:07:08,279 --> 00:07:10,480 Speaker 1: But the reality is it does. 131 00:07:11,240 --> 00:07:13,800 Speaker 2: Number one, it does, But number two, they're having conversations. 132 00:07:13,840 --> 00:07:16,200 Speaker 2: They're part of conversations that are happening in the playground. 133 00:07:16,240 --> 00:07:18,480 Speaker 1: And would you rather day to day basis? Yeah, would 134 00:07:18,480 --> 00:07:21,480 Speaker 1: you rather their peers be the ones that are instructing them? 135 00:07:22,120 --> 00:07:25,600 Speaker 1: Or Google or the Internet or that pornographic website. Would 136 00:07:25,600 --> 00:07:28,040 Speaker 1: you rather that be their education educator or would you 137 00:07:28,040 --> 00:07:30,200 Speaker 1: prefer to be the educator yourself? I think that the 138 00:07:30,280 --> 00:07:31,640 Speaker 1: answer has to be us. 139 00:07:32,040 --> 00:07:36,360 Speaker 2: And I guess the only caveat warning that I would 140 00:07:36,360 --> 00:07:39,520 Speaker 2: give is you don't have to give them everything. 141 00:07:39,760 --> 00:07:40,840 Speaker 1: Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. 142 00:07:40,880 --> 00:07:43,760 Speaker 2: If they come home and ask you where babies come from, 143 00:07:44,080 --> 00:07:46,440 Speaker 2: you might have a conversation about the female body. 144 00:07:46,800 --> 00:07:48,760 Speaker 1: You might not have to go. 145 00:07:49,000 --> 00:07:51,960 Speaker 2: All the way all the way because they're only five 146 00:07:52,120 --> 00:07:52,559 Speaker 2: or six. 147 00:07:52,680 --> 00:07:55,320 Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, don't turn on the fire hose because they're thirsty. 148 00:07:55,520 --> 00:07:56,920 Speaker 1: Just give me a couple Just give. 149 00:07:56,800 --> 00:07:59,000 Speaker 2: And ask them do they have any other questions? Once 150 00:07:59,040 --> 00:08:02,480 Speaker 2: you finish, will tell you where they're at, and you 151 00:08:02,840 --> 00:08:06,520 Speaker 2: can answer their questions without bombarding them with information that 152 00:08:06,520 --> 00:08:07,280 Speaker 2: they're not ready for. 153 00:08:14,800 --> 00:08:17,320 Speaker 1: Okay, Kylie. The second way that we can help our 154 00:08:17,440 --> 00:08:22,120 Speaker 1: children to have healthy and useful conversations with us about 155 00:08:22,120 --> 00:08:25,720 Speaker 1: explicit content is once the kids are old enough to 156 00:08:25,760 --> 00:08:28,520 Speaker 1: be online, and that might be four, or it might 157 00:08:28,520 --> 00:08:30,840 Speaker 1: be seven, It depends on every family and how they're 158 00:08:30,880 --> 00:08:35,280 Speaker 1: doing this. We need to consistently early and often remind 159 00:08:35,280 --> 00:08:40,080 Speaker 1: them that the internet is not always safe for children, 160 00:08:40,720 --> 00:08:42,800 Speaker 1: and by virtue of that, if they see anything that's 161 00:08:42,840 --> 00:08:46,800 Speaker 1: scary or makes them uncomfortable, that they really do need 162 00:08:46,800 --> 00:08:48,320 Speaker 1: to talk to us. They're not going to get in trouble, 163 00:08:48,360 --> 00:08:50,760 Speaker 1: but we need to know because sometimes the Internet is 164 00:08:50,800 --> 00:08:55,200 Speaker 1: not safe. Third, let's just admit, when you're young, you're 165 00:08:55,200 --> 00:08:58,559 Speaker 1: interested in this stuff. Our children shouldn't be punished for 166 00:08:58,640 --> 00:09:05,040 Speaker 1: being curious. Our children shouldn't lose privileges for seeing something explicit, 167 00:09:05,280 --> 00:09:08,720 Speaker 1: especially if it's unintentional, but even maybe if it is 168 00:09:08,880 --> 00:09:13,040 Speaker 1: intentional the first time, because it's normal that kids are 169 00:09:13,040 --> 00:09:15,800 Speaker 1: going to be curious about this. We want to normalize 170 00:09:15,840 --> 00:09:20,920 Speaker 1: curiosity while still not endorsing or encouraging the behavior. The 171 00:09:20,960 --> 00:09:22,560 Speaker 1: best way to do this, I think, is to say 172 00:09:22,559 --> 00:09:25,480 Speaker 1: to the kids, of course, this is interesting, but how 173 00:09:25,480 --> 00:09:28,480 Speaker 1: does it really make you feel? Because if the kids 174 00:09:28,480 --> 00:09:32,439 Speaker 1: are really in tune, not only will they be interested, 175 00:09:33,040 --> 00:09:38,760 Speaker 1: but like this mum's daughter who was exposed to something unintentionally, 176 00:09:39,559 --> 00:09:42,240 Speaker 1: she also cried out because it was icky and it 177 00:09:42,240 --> 00:09:45,319 Speaker 1: affected her. She felt like it was gross and there 178 00:09:45,360 --> 00:09:48,480 Speaker 1: was something not right about it. So we want to 179 00:09:48,480 --> 00:09:51,200 Speaker 1: be able to normalize the curiosity but also reflect on 180 00:09:51,240 --> 00:09:54,960 Speaker 1: the ickiness and talk about why that is the natural 181 00:09:55,320 --> 00:10:01,520 Speaker 1: desire that we have for intimacy with another person. That's exciting, right, 182 00:10:01,520 --> 00:10:02,240 Speaker 1: That's interesting. 183 00:10:02,720 --> 00:10:04,719 Speaker 2: So I guess a beautiful flow on from that is 184 00:10:04,720 --> 00:10:06,640 Speaker 2: the acknowledgment that when our kids come and tell us 185 00:10:06,640 --> 00:10:10,480 Speaker 2: that they've seen something, discuss what they've seen and, in 186 00:10:10,520 --> 00:10:13,679 Speaker 2: the context of a healthy relationship, what that means. 187 00:10:13,640 --> 00:10:17,040 Speaker 1: Yeah, what that looks like? A child when you say 188 00:10:17,040 --> 00:10:20,200 Speaker 1: what what did you see is unlikely to say, well, 189 00:10:20,280 --> 00:10:21,800 Speaker 1: let me tell you all about it, Like they're going 190 00:10:21,840 --> 00:10:26,920 Speaker 1: to be reticent, but asking the question and gently prodding 191 00:10:27,000 --> 00:10:29,400 Speaker 1: for more information is going to help you to say, Okay, 192 00:10:29,400 --> 00:10:31,360 Speaker 1: well what does that mean and how did it make 193 00:10:31,400 --> 00:10:34,080 Speaker 1: you feel? And do you think that that's the kind 194 00:10:34,080 --> 00:10:37,680 Speaker 1: of thing that people in loving, healthy relationships do. What 195 00:10:37,720 --> 00:10:41,400 Speaker 1: messages is this sending to you about gender or about power, 196 00:10:41,920 --> 00:10:44,040 Speaker 1: or about what men want or about what women want, 197 00:10:44,120 --> 00:10:46,520 Speaker 1: or about what consent is? I mean, you can turn 198 00:10:46,600 --> 00:10:50,920 Speaker 1: this into a really really fascinating discussion, and depending on 199 00:10:50,960 --> 00:10:53,960 Speaker 1: the age of your child, you may continue the discussion 200 00:10:54,000 --> 00:10:59,640 Speaker 1: into ideas around what intimacy really should be like. You 201 00:10:59,640 --> 00:11:03,200 Speaker 1: can talk about mutual pleasure, you can talk about things 202 00:11:03,240 --> 00:11:07,440 Speaker 1: that women really really do want versus things that they don't, 203 00:11:07,480 --> 00:11:10,760 Speaker 1: and how pornography typically depicts things, as Louise Perry said, 204 00:11:11,320 --> 00:11:16,360 Speaker 1: that women are not on the whole excited about. 205 00:11:16,760 --> 00:11:19,040 Speaker 2: And I think the last thing that's so important is 206 00:11:19,080 --> 00:11:22,800 Speaker 2: helping our kids to set boundaries to keep them safe, 207 00:11:23,320 --> 00:11:26,160 Speaker 2: whether it be physical boundaries of what they will and 208 00:11:26,200 --> 00:11:30,360 Speaker 2: won't accept in the way people interact with them on 209 00:11:30,400 --> 00:11:34,400 Speaker 2: an intimate level. Depending on age, obviously it's going to 210 00:11:34,520 --> 00:11:39,560 Speaker 2: vary and change, but also the boundaries around internet use 211 00:11:40,200 --> 00:11:43,240 Speaker 2: and how to safeguard themselves so that they don't come 212 00:11:43,280 --> 00:11:47,440 Speaker 2: across this content on a regular basis. 213 00:11:47,720 --> 00:11:49,920 Speaker 1: So again at quick content warning. I'm not going to 214 00:11:49,960 --> 00:11:52,679 Speaker 1: go deep here, but in my book, I've written about 215 00:11:52,880 --> 00:11:55,360 Speaker 1: what it does to our sons, and this is why 216 00:11:55,360 --> 00:11:57,160 Speaker 1: the boundaries need to exist, and I think this is 217 00:11:57,160 --> 00:12:00,000 Speaker 1: something to talk to your children about sons and orbs. 218 00:12:00,720 --> 00:12:03,520 Speaker 1: I talked with Peggy Orenstein, she's the author of Boys 219 00:12:03,520 --> 00:12:06,480 Speaker 1: and Sex, best selling author, and she put it really bluntly. 220 00:12:06,520 --> 00:12:08,360 Speaker 1: She said this. She said, if you, as a parent, 221 00:12:08,400 --> 00:12:11,040 Speaker 1: are imagining seventies porn, or eighties porn, or even nineties porn, 222 00:12:11,120 --> 00:12:14,840 Speaker 1: you're not getting what they're seeing. Her research revealed that 223 00:12:14,840 --> 00:12:20,040 Speaker 1: boys routinely acknowledge viewing extreme content like rape, gangbangs, and violence. 224 00:12:20,600 --> 00:12:24,559 Speaker 1: But then she went on to say this pornography rewires 225 00:12:24,880 --> 00:12:28,600 Speaker 1: sexual behavior in ways that should alarm every parent. Boys 226 00:12:28,600 --> 00:12:31,520 Speaker 1: who view pornography become less likely to use condoms, more 227 00:12:31,600 --> 00:12:34,600 Speaker 1: likely to share explicit images without consent, more likely to 228 00:12:34,640 --> 00:12:37,720 Speaker 1: engage in risky behavior, more likely to engage in delinquent 229 00:12:37,760 --> 00:12:40,680 Speaker 1: behavior in substance use, more likely to pursue casual hook 230 00:12:40,679 --> 00:12:43,400 Speaker 1: cups on one night stands, more likely to express intentions 231 00:12:43,440 --> 00:12:46,920 Speaker 1: to pursue higher numbers of sexual partners. Another study showed 232 00:12:46,960 --> 00:12:50,920 Speaker 1: that females reported negative consequences from viewing explicit content, including 233 00:12:50,960 --> 00:12:53,720 Speaker 1: lowered body image, experiencing a part in the critical of 234 00:12:53,720 --> 00:12:57,440 Speaker 1: their body, increased pressure to perform act scene in pornographic films, 235 00:12:57,720 --> 00:13:01,960 Speaker 1: and less actual sex, while males reported being more critical 236 00:13:02,000 --> 00:13:04,920 Speaker 1: of their partner's body and also became less interested in 237 00:13:05,080 --> 00:13:09,720 Speaker 1: actual sex. Last thing, the pornography script changes beliefs about 238 00:13:09,760 --> 00:13:13,320 Speaker 1: what's quote unquote normal, and that shift's behavior. Anal sex 239 00:13:13,360 --> 00:13:16,800 Speaker 1: and choking are the two most obvious examples. These sex 240 00:13:16,880 --> 00:13:20,679 Speaker 1: practices are no longer fringe. According to Marie Krab's research, 241 00:13:20,720 --> 00:13:24,120 Speaker 1: there squarely in the mainstream. I want to re emphasize 242 00:13:24,679 --> 00:13:28,080 Speaker 1: the percentage of boys watching this is not trivial and 243 00:13:28,120 --> 00:13:28,559 Speaker 1: it's not. 244 00:13:28,920 --> 00:13:32,720 Speaker 2: Just you said one hundred percent between fifteen to twenty 245 00:13:32,800 --> 00:13:33,280 Speaker 2: nine year. 246 00:13:33,200 --> 00:13:35,040 Speaker 1: Olds in that one study. Ye. 247 00:13:35,120 --> 00:13:39,920 Speaker 2: Yeah, and then thirty nine percent of them acknowledge daily viewing. 248 00:13:40,120 --> 00:13:42,320 Speaker 1: And the people who watch it the most, especially the 249 00:13:42,400 --> 00:13:45,840 Speaker 1: violent kinds of explicit content, are much more likely to 250 00:13:45,960 --> 00:13:48,280 Speaker 1: endorse what's known as the rape myth. Okay, so this 251 00:13:48,360 --> 00:13:51,360 Speaker 1: is becoming desensitized to sexual violence and blaming victims for 252 00:13:51,360 --> 00:13:53,959 Speaker 1: their own assaults. The rape myth is basically you must 253 00:13:54,000 --> 00:13:57,240 Speaker 1: have been asking for it. It's a sickening cycle. It 254 00:13:57,280 --> 00:14:00,160 Speaker 1: needs to be broken. We hope that the things we've 255 00:14:00,200 --> 00:14:02,720 Speaker 1: shared with you today, as hard as they are to hear, 256 00:14:03,320 --> 00:14:06,200 Speaker 1: will help you to recognize the importance of having the 257 00:14:06,240 --> 00:14:09,160 Speaker 1: conversation with your kids, and hopefully we've given you some 258 00:14:09,240 --> 00:14:13,960 Speaker 1: useful tips to have useful discussions with them. It matters 259 00:14:14,400 --> 00:14:17,600 Speaker 1: so much. There are more resources about this at Marie 260 00:14:17,640 --> 00:14:21,040 Speaker 1: Crab's website, It's Time We Talked. You can also check 261 00:14:21,080 --> 00:14:24,480 Speaker 1: out the e Safety Commissioner's website e Safety dot gov 262 00:14:24,560 --> 00:14:27,120 Speaker 1: dot a U. In fact, if you just google how 263 00:14:27,160 --> 00:14:31,040 Speaker 1: to talk about pornography with my kids, you'll find resources 264 00:14:31,240 --> 00:14:33,720 Speaker 1: galore to help you fight. The New drug is another 265 00:14:33,720 --> 00:14:37,680 Speaker 1: great place to go. Melinda Tankard Reeste's work at Collective 266 00:14:37,680 --> 00:14:40,440 Speaker 1: Shout is also helpful. We'll link to all of them 267 00:14:40,520 --> 00:14:43,840 Speaker 1: in the show notes. Really, really hope that this has 268 00:14:43,920 --> 00:14:47,200 Speaker 1: been helpful. The Happy Families podcast is produced by Justin 269 00:14:47,280 --> 00:14:50,640 Speaker 1: Roland from Bridge Media. For more information and resources about 270 00:14:50,720 --> 00:14:53,480 Speaker 1: keeping your kids safe and helping your family to be happy, 271 00:14:53,720 --> 00:15:02,960 Speaker 1: visit happyfamilies dot com dot AU.