1 00:00:00,080 --> 00:00:02,480 Speaker 1: Here we are, big boy, we are back. Just a 2 00:00:02,520 --> 00:00:04,800 Speaker 1: couple of buddy Dilves doing this. 3 00:00:13,080 --> 00:00:13,520 Speaker 2: All right. 4 00:00:13,600 --> 00:00:17,120 Speaker 3: So so, okay, a few things you need to know. Yes, 5 00:00:17,239 --> 00:00:19,599 Speaker 3: we're both Dilf's. That's confirmed. I'm a Dilf to be. 6 00:00:19,720 --> 00:00:20,200 Speaker 3: You're a Dilf. 7 00:00:20,239 --> 00:00:24,440 Speaker 1: There's no question about that. Secondly, I've got a baby. 8 00:00:25,239 --> 00:00:28,360 Speaker 3: Yeah, come get some of deals. We should get T 9 00:00:28,480 --> 00:00:34,560 Speaker 3: shirts made. Get dilfel and on the back, no, no, no, 10 00:00:34,600 --> 00:00:36,959 Speaker 3: come get someone deals on the front. 11 00:00:38,400 --> 00:00:40,920 Speaker 1: Maybe on like the left breast pocket, and then on 12 00:00:40,960 --> 00:00:47,000 Speaker 1: the back get someone I really like that same Anyway, 13 00:00:47,320 --> 00:00:50,600 Speaker 1: what's this podcast about? So I'm about to have a baby. 14 00:00:51,159 --> 00:00:53,480 Speaker 3: As you know, I'm a massive overthinker will and there's 15 00:00:53,479 --> 00:00:55,440 Speaker 3: a lot of questions that I'm embarrassed to ask people 16 00:00:55,480 --> 00:00:58,080 Speaker 3: because I think they're just shitty questions. 17 00:00:58,640 --> 00:00:59,800 Speaker 1: But the end of the day, I still want to 18 00:00:59,800 --> 00:01:00,440 Speaker 1: know that these things. 19 00:01:00,520 --> 00:01:02,560 Speaker 3: So we provide a safe space for me to bring 20 00:01:02,640 --> 00:01:03,720 Speaker 3: up these questions that I've got. 21 00:01:03,760 --> 00:01:06,039 Speaker 4: We're both dads trying to figure out our dilemmas. We 22 00:01:06,080 --> 00:01:08,600 Speaker 4: will get the T shirt made, come get someone else 23 00:01:09,120 --> 00:01:11,679 Speaker 4: and Ali. There's a thirty minute timer on this episode, 24 00:01:11,800 --> 00:01:13,600 Speaker 4: and when the timer goes, that's when the podcast starts, 25 00:01:13,640 --> 00:01:15,520 Speaker 4: it's half an hour to try and get through our dilemmas. 26 00:01:15,560 --> 00:01:17,920 Speaker 1: As always, here's here's a question for you. 27 00:01:19,440 --> 00:01:22,679 Speaker 3: So I've noticed that you've been out in the community 28 00:01:23,200 --> 00:01:24,880 Speaker 3: with your child, with your baby. 29 00:01:25,000 --> 00:01:26,360 Speaker 2: Yeah, you're socializing. 30 00:01:26,560 --> 00:01:28,000 Speaker 1: So yeah, that's a good way to put it's a 31 00:01:28,000 --> 00:01:28,880 Speaker 1: sticking point with sem. 32 00:01:28,920 --> 00:01:31,959 Speaker 2: And I'm what's that. Well, I'm a very social I'm 33 00:01:32,000 --> 00:01:32,720 Speaker 2: a social being. 34 00:01:32,800 --> 00:01:34,960 Speaker 1: There you are, You're a social beast. You're an extrovert. 35 00:01:35,840 --> 00:01:37,000 Speaker 1: You get energy from people. 36 00:01:37,120 --> 00:01:39,440 Speaker 2: I like being around other people, like doing things. 37 00:01:39,440 --> 00:01:41,080 Speaker 3: You'd love to tell a story, love to tell a ya, 38 00:01:41,280 --> 00:01:43,880 Speaker 3: I like, yeah, I love to share experiences. 39 00:01:43,959 --> 00:01:45,440 Speaker 2: Yeah, I like sharing experiences in people. 40 00:01:46,040 --> 00:01:48,040 Speaker 1: It seems awesome, which I was that way. 41 00:01:48,080 --> 00:01:51,880 Speaker 2: It's good. But sim's an introvert. My partner's an introvert. 42 00:01:51,880 --> 00:01:52,320 Speaker 2: And that's just it. 43 00:01:52,400 --> 00:01:54,720 Speaker 4: That's It's an interesting discussion when you've got kids, I 44 00:01:54,720 --> 00:01:56,840 Speaker 4: think because I'm always going like, you know, let's go 45 00:01:56,920 --> 00:01:58,040 Speaker 4: do this, let's go and do this, let's go and 46 00:01:58,120 --> 00:01:58,320 Speaker 4: do this. 47 00:01:58,440 --> 00:02:00,280 Speaker 3: And is there a part of you that's doing that 48 00:02:00,320 --> 00:02:02,800 Speaker 3: because you want Max to be an extrovert or you know. 49 00:02:04,040 --> 00:02:07,080 Speaker 1: So, what what's the what's the friction between you and your. 50 00:02:08,480 --> 00:02:09,799 Speaker 2: Well, I just don't want to give up that part 51 00:02:09,840 --> 00:02:10,400 Speaker 2: of my life. 52 00:02:10,800 --> 00:02:12,560 Speaker 1: Oh, it's selfish, like. 53 00:02:15,840 --> 00:02:19,079 Speaker 2: I've misread it. It's it's no, it's not for it's 54 00:02:19,080 --> 00:02:19,760 Speaker 2: not for the child. 55 00:02:19,880 --> 00:02:22,200 Speaker 4: It's like, well, yeah, I suppose it gets down to 56 00:02:22,200 --> 00:02:25,120 Speaker 4: the deeper question of how much are you willing? 57 00:02:25,320 --> 00:02:27,440 Speaker 2: And this is maybe the dial dilemma for today. I'm 58 00:02:27,440 --> 00:02:29,120 Speaker 2: not sure. Maybe I'm prehemmed in the topic here. 59 00:02:29,360 --> 00:02:32,440 Speaker 1: Maybe I always inception you. Yeah, man, I've actually got 60 00:02:32,480 --> 00:02:33,440 Speaker 1: through a lot of my name. 61 00:02:33,520 --> 00:02:35,000 Speaker 2: Maybe unlikely. 62 00:02:36,720 --> 00:02:39,720 Speaker 4: No, you'll never know how much of your life do 63 00:02:39,760 --> 00:02:41,480 Speaker 4: you compromise when you have a kid? 64 00:02:42,919 --> 00:02:43,600 Speaker 2: What are you willing? 65 00:02:43,720 --> 00:02:48,840 Speaker 4: What are you willing to compromise? And yeah, I feel 66 00:02:48,840 --> 00:02:51,480 Speaker 4: like that's a constant battle. That's that's that's an on, 67 00:02:51,880 --> 00:02:54,200 Speaker 4: that's that's not there's no winning or losing there. That's 68 00:02:54,240 --> 00:02:57,960 Speaker 4: just a constant conversation. I've found every single day. What 69 00:02:57,960 --> 00:03:01,119 Speaker 4: what do I have to give up this morning? Because 70 00:03:01,120 --> 00:03:03,040 Speaker 4: obviously we did we did the show in the afternoon. 71 00:03:03,080 --> 00:03:04,880 Speaker 4: What do I have to give up this morning? Yeah, 72 00:03:05,120 --> 00:03:07,160 Speaker 4: so that I can spend time with Max, Also that 73 00:03:07,200 --> 00:03:10,080 Speaker 4: I can give Semon break with Max, or yeah, yeah. 74 00:03:09,800 --> 00:03:10,560 Speaker 1: That's a hot top. 75 00:03:10,919 --> 00:03:12,560 Speaker 3: I'm going to I'm going to get right into that, 76 00:03:12,600 --> 00:03:14,480 Speaker 3: because that's good kids, exactly what I had written down. 77 00:03:16,840 --> 00:03:18,480 Speaker 1: But I don't believe I was going to put that down. 78 00:03:18,520 --> 00:03:19,440 Speaker 1: For two seconds. 79 00:03:19,160 --> 00:03:21,359 Speaker 2: I had something like, how do you clean up a nappy? 80 00:03:21,560 --> 00:03:24,720 Speaker 3: No, I don't that is such a shallow question with 81 00:03:24,880 --> 00:03:27,400 Speaker 3: no thought. I'm going to put that down for two 82 00:03:27,400 --> 00:03:29,240 Speaker 3: second because I do want to revisit that. But can 83 00:03:29,280 --> 00:03:31,080 Speaker 3: we just go back to the socializing way, because this 84 00:03:31,160 --> 00:03:33,200 Speaker 3: is something I've thought about. You just said it was 85 00:03:33,600 --> 00:03:37,520 Speaker 3: so you taking Max out to social events. Is you 86 00:03:37,720 --> 00:03:39,760 Speaker 3: not wanting to give up that part of your life? 87 00:03:40,080 --> 00:03:42,600 Speaker 3: But surely there is a level of you that's going, no, No, 88 00:03:42,600 --> 00:03:44,920 Speaker 3: it's good for Max to be out and about and 89 00:03:45,600 --> 00:03:48,440 Speaker 3: seeing other human beings and seeing other faces, Like, isn't 90 00:03:48,480 --> 00:03:49,640 Speaker 3: that playing in your head a little bit? 91 00:03:52,880 --> 00:03:54,520 Speaker 2: A little bit? I don't know. 92 00:03:54,960 --> 00:04:01,000 Speaker 4: I'm really like trying very very very hard not to 93 00:04:01,160 --> 00:04:06,760 Speaker 4: be influenced by what I think should be good for her. 94 00:04:06,960 --> 00:04:09,800 Speaker 2: Oh that is good? Really worried about it? 95 00:04:09,920 --> 00:04:12,800 Speaker 4: Yeah, because that's just so, that's just a vortex, like 96 00:04:12,840 --> 00:04:15,400 Speaker 4: you never get to the bottom of that. Well, you're 97 00:04:15,440 --> 00:04:18,119 Speaker 4: always there's always things that might be better for her, 98 00:04:18,680 --> 00:04:20,280 Speaker 4: you know, always things that should be good for her 99 00:04:20,320 --> 00:04:22,200 Speaker 4: could be good for her, and if you look for them, 100 00:04:22,240 --> 00:04:22,880 Speaker 4: you'll find them. 101 00:04:22,960 --> 00:04:25,520 Speaker 2: And she can't do everything like she you know. 102 00:04:25,560 --> 00:04:27,000 Speaker 4: And there's one thing that will say, you know, make 103 00:04:27,000 --> 00:04:28,640 Speaker 4: sure she's at home a lot, so she's got contact 104 00:04:28,680 --> 00:04:31,080 Speaker 4: time with you well, and there's other things that say, oh, 105 00:04:31,120 --> 00:04:32,720 Speaker 4: make sure she's out and about and you know, hanging 106 00:04:32,720 --> 00:04:33,520 Speaker 4: out with other people. 107 00:04:33,560 --> 00:04:37,559 Speaker 3: So there's going to be different views, different research either way. Also, 108 00:04:37,800 --> 00:04:40,240 Speaker 3: potatoes potatoes, right, every single baby's different. 109 00:04:40,880 --> 00:04:43,800 Speaker 4: So that's that's the first thing I'd say, Sorry, I'm 110 00:04:43,800 --> 00:04:46,640 Speaker 4: just speaking my nails and throwing them the bin. The 111 00:04:46,720 --> 00:04:51,640 Speaker 4: other the other analyst is disgusted. The other thing I'd 112 00:04:51,640 --> 00:04:56,360 Speaker 4: say about that is that we actually gone through a 113 00:04:56,400 --> 00:04:58,400 Speaker 4: real pat recently where she's got and you notice this 114 00:04:58,440 --> 00:05:02,800 Speaker 4: at your baby shower the other day. She's started she's 115 00:05:03,040 --> 00:05:04,719 Speaker 4: got like stranger fear. 116 00:05:05,520 --> 00:05:08,120 Speaker 2: Oh yeah, right, so she started, she started. 117 00:05:08,400 --> 00:05:11,760 Speaker 4: She's gone through this huge progression where her like, her 118 00:05:11,800 --> 00:05:16,919 Speaker 4: eyesight's amazing now, so she got sort of facial recognition software. 119 00:05:16,480 --> 00:05:19,400 Speaker 1: That's in there now like a magpie, Like a magpie. 120 00:05:19,520 --> 00:05:23,480 Speaker 4: Yeah, but instead of swooping, she's pooping. 121 00:05:23,560 --> 00:05:26,840 Speaker 2: Nice nice grade four A. 122 00:05:27,279 --> 00:05:32,000 Speaker 4: So did you say grade four A yeah nice. 123 00:05:32,560 --> 00:05:34,840 Speaker 2: So so yeah, instead of swooping, she's pooping. 124 00:05:34,839 --> 00:05:39,080 Speaker 4: But she's still got this facial recognition software now, which 125 00:05:39,160 --> 00:05:41,200 Speaker 4: means and it only happened like a week ago. I 126 00:05:41,560 --> 00:05:44,200 Speaker 4: handed her to my sister and she it was funny 127 00:05:44,240 --> 00:05:47,239 Speaker 4: like it was she she wasn't scared of my sister's 128 00:05:47,279 --> 00:05:48,640 Speaker 4: just and when I got handed her to my sister, 129 00:05:48,680 --> 00:05:50,920 Speaker 4: she was in my sister's arms and Sem and I 130 00:05:51,040 --> 00:05:53,359 Speaker 4: were both looking at her, and she could see that 131 00:05:53,400 --> 00:05:57,119 Speaker 4: we were both we weren't the ones holding her. Oh wow, 132 00:05:57,640 --> 00:06:01,119 Speaker 4: it's like where she's like, if you're over there, who's 133 00:06:01,120 --> 00:06:01,599 Speaker 4: holding me? 134 00:06:01,839 --> 00:06:03,680 Speaker 3: I said that in the supermarket when I'd run and 135 00:06:03,680 --> 00:06:06,000 Speaker 3: find what I thought was my mum's leg and onto it, 136 00:06:06,480 --> 00:06:07,280 Speaker 3: you'd see your mum. 137 00:06:07,200 --> 00:06:10,800 Speaker 2: Wud be like what who are you? Yeah? 138 00:06:10,880 --> 00:06:13,640 Speaker 4: Yeah yeah, So she started having that, which is yeah, 139 00:06:13,880 --> 00:06:16,760 Speaker 4: it's it's really tough because previously. 140 00:06:17,120 --> 00:06:18,240 Speaker 2: She was kind of just oblivious. 141 00:06:18,279 --> 00:06:21,000 Speaker 1: She was just in this, I mean someone's arms, whatever, that's. 142 00:06:20,800 --> 00:06:21,960 Speaker 2: Cozy, that's cozy. 143 00:06:22,200 --> 00:06:24,760 Speaker 4: Now she's like, whoa if I don't know you, you 144 00:06:24,800 --> 00:06:25,440 Speaker 4: know you've got. 145 00:06:25,240 --> 00:06:27,640 Speaker 2: To warm me, you know, you gotta woo her. 146 00:06:28,080 --> 00:06:30,400 Speaker 4: You know, you've got to light some candles and seduce 147 00:06:30,440 --> 00:06:32,760 Speaker 4: her and you know, well, well not like that, but 148 00:06:32,839 --> 00:06:33,160 Speaker 4: you know. 149 00:06:33,120 --> 00:06:35,599 Speaker 3: Like, well my father certainly didn't because my dad scared 150 00:06:35,600 --> 00:06:36,039 Speaker 3: the episode. 151 00:06:36,080 --> 00:06:37,920 Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, he scared this shit out of her, out 152 00:06:37,920 --> 00:06:38,080 Speaker 2: of you. 153 00:06:38,279 --> 00:06:39,800 Speaker 4: Yeah, he just got in there and he was like, 154 00:06:40,160 --> 00:06:42,360 Speaker 4: you know, Homax, I'm Steve, and she was like, oh 155 00:06:42,360 --> 00:06:42,720 Speaker 4: my god. 156 00:06:42,760 --> 00:06:44,719 Speaker 2: So but that was because there was about sixty people there. 157 00:06:44,800 --> 00:06:46,400 Speaker 1: Yeah, and my dad's the size of a fridge. 158 00:06:46,480 --> 00:06:47,040 Speaker 2: He's a big man. 159 00:06:47,160 --> 00:06:48,120 Speaker 1: Yeah. 160 00:06:48,160 --> 00:06:51,200 Speaker 4: So in answer to your question, for example, when you're 161 00:06:51,200 --> 00:06:53,000 Speaker 4: talking like do I want to take her out and 162 00:06:53,400 --> 00:06:57,880 Speaker 4: push her into that, my instinct is to go, like, 163 00:06:58,200 --> 00:07:02,720 Speaker 4: you know, I feel like taking it to I don't know, 164 00:07:03,040 --> 00:07:05,200 Speaker 4: like a night noodle market or something where there's just 165 00:07:05,520 --> 00:07:06,600 Speaker 4: shiploads of people. 166 00:07:06,839 --> 00:07:08,200 Speaker 1: So like exposure. 167 00:07:07,760 --> 00:07:10,600 Speaker 3: Therapy, just get used to this, get used to faces, 168 00:07:10,680 --> 00:07:12,920 Speaker 3: get used to human Yes, Also, is there a lot of. 169 00:07:12,920 --> 00:07:14,120 Speaker 1: You that's like get used to noise? 170 00:07:14,280 --> 00:07:18,440 Speaker 4: Like noise is fine, noise is good, Yeah, noises too 171 00:07:18,480 --> 00:07:19,520 Speaker 4: much noise is awesome? 172 00:07:19,880 --> 00:07:22,160 Speaker 2: Oh right, Yeah. She just kind of like it's just 173 00:07:22,200 --> 00:07:24,320 Speaker 2: too much so she can't hold onto it. So she's 174 00:07:24,360 --> 00:07:25,520 Speaker 2: just like it's ex soothing. 175 00:07:25,920 --> 00:07:30,040 Speaker 4: But but but but the for what the reading that 176 00:07:30,040 --> 00:07:32,280 Speaker 4: that that Sam and I were doing, is it says, 177 00:07:32,520 --> 00:07:35,160 Speaker 4: and I think it's like with all things with babies. 178 00:07:35,200 --> 00:07:39,920 Speaker 4: I think I don't know, and it's different for different parents. 179 00:07:40,160 --> 00:07:42,840 Speaker 2: Is it's not a good idea. 180 00:07:42,520 --> 00:07:47,080 Speaker 4: To just as you said, exposure therapy like that, that's 181 00:07:47,160 --> 00:07:50,120 Speaker 4: not a good idea. That's one technique. That's one technique. 182 00:07:50,120 --> 00:07:51,920 Speaker 4: One technique would be just a shove out. 183 00:07:51,720 --> 00:07:53,040 Speaker 1: There, take it to the noodle market. 184 00:07:53,160 --> 00:07:55,360 Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, you know, you get yourself a nice you know, 185 00:07:55,400 --> 00:07:56,200 Speaker 4: hock you in on the side. 186 00:07:56,240 --> 00:07:57,840 Speaker 2: That would beautiful, good for everyone. 187 00:07:57,960 --> 00:08:01,520 Speaker 4: But but the the same time, if that's not what 188 00:08:01,560 --> 00:08:04,320 Speaker 4: the child wants, like, how do you how can you 189 00:08:04,360 --> 00:08:05,360 Speaker 4: be smarter about it? 190 00:08:05,600 --> 00:08:06,800 Speaker 2: I don't know. It's kind it's kind of like and 191 00:08:06,840 --> 00:08:08,480 Speaker 2: it's the same thing with her sleeping as well. 192 00:08:08,560 --> 00:08:11,560 Speaker 4: You know, do I right now she's I'm finding it 193 00:08:11,640 --> 00:08:12,960 Speaker 4: really hard to put her down during the day. 194 00:08:13,120 --> 00:08:15,440 Speaker 2: Do I just chuck her down and let her scream? Sure? 195 00:08:15,440 --> 00:08:17,360 Speaker 2: I can do that, But how long do I do 196 00:08:17,440 --> 00:08:19,920 Speaker 2: that for? At what point do I go this is 197 00:08:19,960 --> 00:08:23,320 Speaker 2: now damaging for you? Yeah? Or you know, at what 198 00:08:23,360 --> 00:08:24,000 Speaker 2: point do you? 199 00:08:24,320 --> 00:08:27,080 Speaker 4: Because I don't know, it's that sink or swim philosophy, right, 200 00:08:27,280 --> 00:08:31,200 Speaker 4: and you know, as a you know, traditional man, that 201 00:08:31,280 --> 00:08:33,000 Speaker 4: you say to yourself, well, it's the only way you 202 00:08:33,000 --> 00:08:34,800 Speaker 4: can learn, you know, get back out there and get 203 00:08:34,840 --> 00:08:35,440 Speaker 4: back on the horse. 204 00:08:35,480 --> 00:08:38,440 Speaker 2: And they got to sink or swim. But how damaging 205 00:08:38,520 --> 00:08:38,840 Speaker 2: is that. 206 00:08:40,320 --> 00:08:41,640 Speaker 1: Let's say a quick story here. 207 00:08:41,840 --> 00:08:46,800 Speaker 3: Yeah, and I don't mean to relate babies to puppies, no, 208 00:08:46,880 --> 00:08:50,079 Speaker 3: please do It's okay, great because it's my only experience 209 00:08:50,120 --> 00:08:52,079 Speaker 3: with him. The only perspective I can give is how 210 00:08:52,080 --> 00:08:54,960 Speaker 3: I raised my dog Bobby in Perth and there was 211 00:08:54,960 --> 00:08:57,640 Speaker 3: a there was an incident where I really wanted Bobby 212 00:08:57,679 --> 00:09:03,240 Speaker 3: to swim. Bobby was a staffy traditionally not water based dogs. 213 00:09:03,960 --> 00:09:05,560 Speaker 3: We went to the beach one day. This probably happened 214 00:09:05,559 --> 00:09:08,240 Speaker 3: a few times. We went to the beach and. 215 00:09:09,000 --> 00:09:10,800 Speaker 1: I'd get in the water and I would bring her 216 00:09:10,840 --> 00:09:11,720 Speaker 1: in the water and. 217 00:09:11,600 --> 00:09:14,720 Speaker 3: She would cry and she would cry, and she was 218 00:09:14,920 --> 00:09:17,120 Speaker 3: angry at me, like she would never bite me. 219 00:09:17,200 --> 00:09:19,240 Speaker 1: She was biting me and then ignoring me. 220 00:09:19,320 --> 00:09:20,520 Speaker 3: So when we went back to the car, she was like, 221 00:09:20,520 --> 00:09:22,880 Speaker 3: I'm not getting in the car, like I hate you. 222 00:09:24,160 --> 00:09:25,720 Speaker 1: What's your memory of Bobby. 223 00:09:25,880 --> 00:09:29,240 Speaker 2: It's an amazing swimmer and loved the water. 224 00:09:30,200 --> 00:09:32,600 Speaker 3: So it's so interesting you bring that up, because I 225 00:09:32,640 --> 00:09:34,440 Speaker 3: do think that's what's going to happen with me, is 226 00:09:34,679 --> 00:09:38,120 Speaker 3: me knowing this is the worst thing for you, but 227 00:09:38,120 --> 00:09:40,440 Speaker 3: but long term will be a good thing for you. 228 00:09:40,480 --> 00:09:44,120 Speaker 3: But then that's a really fine line between oh no, 229 00:09:44,280 --> 00:09:46,120 Speaker 3: I've I don't want to use the word trauma, but 230 00:09:46,160 --> 00:09:46,400 Speaker 3: I will. 231 00:09:46,520 --> 00:09:52,160 Speaker 1: I've traumatized you because I've pushed you towards an uncomfortable scenario, and. 232 00:09:52,080 --> 00:09:54,960 Speaker 4: The other like on the other hand, like like with 233 00:09:55,000 --> 00:09:58,920 Speaker 4: my dog, Hello dogging dogs, I pushed her in the 234 00:09:58,920 --> 00:10:00,880 Speaker 4: water a couple of times down to the river where 235 00:10:00,880 --> 00:10:03,480 Speaker 4: we swim, and now she doesn't go next to the shore. 236 00:10:03,400 --> 00:10:06,400 Speaker 1: Because she's like, oh right, yeah, that's awful for me. 237 00:10:06,720 --> 00:10:09,360 Speaker 4: So I think it's it's just hugely depending on the 238 00:10:09,440 --> 00:10:12,640 Speaker 4: kid and what they can, you know, as we always 239 00:10:12,640 --> 00:10:15,840 Speaker 4: say on this podcast, it's it's all about getting a 240 00:10:15,880 --> 00:10:18,600 Speaker 4: feel for what works for them. And I think once 241 00:10:18,920 --> 00:10:21,520 Speaker 4: it's yeah, it's horses, of course. I mean the crying 242 00:10:21,559 --> 00:10:24,120 Speaker 4: one is that the crying one is probably the big 243 00:10:24,120 --> 00:10:26,520 Speaker 4: one that everyone talks about, and there's no right or 244 00:10:26,559 --> 00:10:28,080 Speaker 4: wrong here. You've got people that want to do the 245 00:10:28,080 --> 00:10:30,959 Speaker 4: controlled crying thing. You've got people that you know, want 246 00:10:30,960 --> 00:10:32,439 Speaker 4: to hold them the whole time, and you've got people 247 00:10:32,440 --> 00:10:36,439 Speaker 4: that are somewhere in the middle, but it's a constant battle. 248 00:10:36,520 --> 00:10:39,040 Speaker 4: So in terms of what you're asking before, which is like, 249 00:10:39,120 --> 00:10:41,040 Speaker 4: you know, because I'm an extroverted person, do I just 250 00:10:41,080 --> 00:10:41,880 Speaker 4: shove her out there? 251 00:10:43,960 --> 00:10:44,240 Speaker 2: Right now? 252 00:10:44,240 --> 00:10:45,400 Speaker 4: I feel like we're in a kind of a happy 253 00:10:45,400 --> 00:10:47,640 Speaker 4: middle ground because I take her out with me wherever 254 00:10:47,720 --> 00:10:48,040 Speaker 4: I go. 255 00:10:48,160 --> 00:10:50,800 Speaker 3: Fine, by the way, she's like, it's not like I 256 00:10:50,800 --> 00:10:52,360 Speaker 3: don't want to paint you with the brush if you're 257 00:10:52,400 --> 00:10:56,880 Speaker 3: out there socializing your babies, just like screaming, can Max 258 00:10:56,960 --> 00:10:57,760 Speaker 3: daddy's having to be. 259 00:10:57,840 --> 00:10:58,640 Speaker 2: No, she's quiet. 260 00:10:58,800 --> 00:11:01,440 Speaker 4: Yeah, she's only really only she only really cracks it 261 00:11:01,480 --> 00:11:03,280 Speaker 4: if I hand it to someone. And then even then 262 00:11:03,320 --> 00:11:05,400 Speaker 4: it's only for a second. Yeah, she's kind of like 263 00:11:05,800 --> 00:11:10,000 Speaker 4: I like this, and then and then she she said, comes. 264 00:11:09,800 --> 00:11:12,800 Speaker 3: Back, Yeah, okay, another one. I'm just like the having 265 00:11:12,840 --> 00:11:14,600 Speaker 3: her at a party, damn it. There's so many questions. 266 00:11:16,559 --> 00:11:19,640 Speaker 3: How much do you allow yourself to drink when you 267 00:11:19,720 --> 00:11:22,240 Speaker 3: do have Max strapped to you? This is something I've 268 00:11:22,240 --> 00:11:24,040 Speaker 3: thought about it a lot, because as. 269 00:11:23,960 --> 00:11:27,440 Speaker 4: In like I might fall over Jesus Christ and let's 270 00:11:27,440 --> 00:11:28,160 Speaker 4: just you drink. 271 00:11:28,559 --> 00:11:31,480 Speaker 2: We're not playing goon and fortune. But I was a 272 00:11:31,679 --> 00:11:33,120 Speaker 2: baby shower. I had a couple of. 273 00:11:33,160 --> 00:11:35,320 Speaker 1: Quiet also at a baby shower. 274 00:11:38,120 --> 00:11:40,760 Speaker 3: No, but but I'm someone who, like, I'm not very 275 00:11:40,800 --> 00:11:43,000 Speaker 3: good at and I'm a responsible drinker. You know, we 276 00:11:43,000 --> 00:11:45,840 Speaker 3: can all agree that, and I'm very supportive of responsible drinking. 277 00:11:46,679 --> 00:11:48,280 Speaker 3: But I don't know what I have to say in 278 00:11:48,360 --> 00:11:52,120 Speaker 3: podcast in the podcast, But but but I'm someone who's 279 00:11:52,160 --> 00:11:56,120 Speaker 3: not very good at just having a couple. So I'm 280 00:11:56,280 --> 00:11:58,240 Speaker 3: sort of toying with like, well, maybe if I'm in, 281 00:11:58,440 --> 00:12:02,920 Speaker 3: if I'm at all responsible for baby, I just don't 282 00:12:02,960 --> 00:12:06,120 Speaker 3: think i'll drink. How do you hit that line? Because 283 00:12:06,320 --> 00:12:08,840 Speaker 3: like I'd be worried holding a baby even after two drinks. 284 00:12:09,120 --> 00:12:09,880 Speaker 2: Yeah, that's the thing. 285 00:12:10,040 --> 00:12:13,160 Speaker 4: Like, and I think that's well, there's probably a couple 286 00:12:13,160 --> 00:12:15,640 Speaker 4: of things i'd say here because like my I spoke 287 00:12:15,640 --> 00:12:17,680 Speaker 4: to you about this the other day actually or maybe 288 00:12:17,760 --> 00:12:18,840 Speaker 4: witness thing, but I sort of. 289 00:12:18,800 --> 00:12:21,120 Speaker 2: Said essentially, I said it drunk. 290 00:12:21,200 --> 00:12:24,440 Speaker 4: I said it to poop Pants the other day when 291 00:12:24,480 --> 00:12:29,760 Speaker 4: he was in the studio about my relationship with alcohols 292 00:12:29,920 --> 00:12:31,800 Speaker 4: really changed recently. 293 00:12:32,160 --> 00:12:33,480 Speaker 1: I think I got the back end of this. 294 00:12:34,640 --> 00:12:37,360 Speaker 2: Well, since having a kid, my relationship with alcohols really. 295 00:12:37,200 --> 00:12:42,280 Speaker 3: Changed Okay, well, because you know, let's say I go 296 00:12:42,360 --> 00:12:44,480 Speaker 3: to a baby shower or something or whatever it is. 297 00:12:44,640 --> 00:12:46,400 Speaker 1: Let's use Saturday as an example. So that was that 298 00:12:46,520 --> 00:12:49,040 Speaker 1: was me and mem and my baby shower. 299 00:12:49,240 --> 00:12:53,360 Speaker 4: Okay, so I well, first of all, so I'm not driving. 300 00:12:53,559 --> 00:12:56,240 Speaker 4: Sam's driving, right, so we kind of make that because 301 00:12:56,240 --> 00:12:58,319 Speaker 4: she's breastfeeding so she can't try that much anyway, so 302 00:12:58,360 --> 00:12:58,840 Speaker 4: it's huge. 303 00:12:58,840 --> 00:12:59,960 Speaker 2: I get a bit of a you know what I mean, 304 00:13:00,040 --> 00:13:00,880 Speaker 2: I can have a few. 305 00:13:01,360 --> 00:13:05,880 Speaker 4: But it only takes like, so the thing is the 306 00:13:05,920 --> 00:13:08,680 Speaker 4: baby's what you need to remember is the baby's never gone. 307 00:13:09,840 --> 00:13:11,480 Speaker 2: That makes anybody it doesn't make sense. 308 00:13:11,520 --> 00:13:15,840 Speaker 4: Well, like if you have five beers, right or six 309 00:13:15,920 --> 00:13:18,880 Speaker 4: beers right, I'm pretty pretty well in my way. 310 00:13:18,880 --> 00:13:20,920 Speaker 1: If I've had six beers, I certainly am. 311 00:13:21,000 --> 00:13:21,240 Speaker 2: Yeah. 312 00:13:22,320 --> 00:13:25,040 Speaker 4: Now I get home, right, if I don't have a 313 00:13:25,160 --> 00:13:29,720 Speaker 4: child at that point, sure you can have four more 314 00:13:29,720 --> 00:13:30,720 Speaker 4: beers whatever. 315 00:13:31,720 --> 00:13:32,600 Speaker 1: Put some cartoons on. 316 00:13:32,840 --> 00:13:37,920 Speaker 4: Yeah, you get home, you're still there's still a kid there, 317 00:13:38,400 --> 00:13:42,240 Speaker 4: like you're and like you're you can't just curl up 318 00:13:42,240 --> 00:13:44,120 Speaker 4: in a ball on the couch like you've got a 319 00:13:44,200 --> 00:13:47,319 Speaker 4: child to look after. And then the other kicker from 320 00:13:47,360 --> 00:13:50,520 Speaker 4: that is if you let's say you get home and 321 00:13:50,559 --> 00:13:52,240 Speaker 4: you have six or seven beers, and then you want 322 00:13:52,240 --> 00:13:54,960 Speaker 4: to go to sleep because you you know, you're sort 323 00:13:54,960 --> 00:13:56,959 Speaker 4: of in that like I'm drunk sleep sort of thing 324 00:13:56,960 --> 00:14:00,400 Speaker 4: that happens. We go to a really heavy sleep, like 325 00:14:00,960 --> 00:14:02,880 Speaker 4: it only takes it once or twice for that to happen, 326 00:14:02,880 --> 00:14:05,040 Speaker 4: and then the child wakes up after two hours that you're. 327 00:14:04,880 --> 00:14:08,040 Speaker 2: Like, oh, this is the worst thing on the planet. 328 00:14:08,640 --> 00:14:11,040 Speaker 4: And then you kind of get hit with this enormous 329 00:14:11,240 --> 00:14:14,600 Speaker 4: like you know, wet football and the gut of guilt 330 00:14:14,800 --> 00:14:18,080 Speaker 4: because you're just like, oh my god, I'm such an asshole. 331 00:14:18,200 --> 00:14:20,920 Speaker 4: Like I'm like, you know, I'm because sort of breathing 332 00:14:21,640 --> 00:14:23,160 Speaker 4: booze on my child. 333 00:14:22,880 --> 00:14:25,280 Speaker 1: And like you know, they're like they want me to. 334 00:14:25,240 --> 00:14:28,000 Speaker 2: Love them, but I'm like, can't keep my eyes open. 335 00:14:28,200 --> 00:14:31,800 Speaker 4: You're probably irritable, yeah, yeah, and you're easily frustrated with them, 336 00:14:31,800 --> 00:14:33,360 Speaker 4: and then you get angry at them and it's like 337 00:14:33,400 --> 00:14:35,640 Speaker 4: it's not their fault that you decided to have six 338 00:14:35,720 --> 00:14:38,320 Speaker 4: or seven beers, so no, yeah, And then the other 339 00:14:38,360 --> 00:14:40,280 Speaker 4: thing about booze is and this is what I was 340 00:14:40,320 --> 00:14:43,000 Speaker 4: telling poop Pants the other day, is that when you sleep, 341 00:14:43,200 --> 00:14:45,680 Speaker 4: you there was a study recently that said that of 342 00:14:45,720 --> 00:14:48,640 Speaker 4: all the sort of you know, you know people, I 343 00:14:48,640 --> 00:14:51,000 Speaker 4: had a coffee in the afternoon, I couldn't sleep that night. 344 00:14:51,280 --> 00:14:53,960 Speaker 2: Yeah, when you drink. 345 00:14:53,760 --> 00:15:01,440 Speaker 4: Alcohol, that has a far more pejorative effect on the 346 00:15:01,480 --> 00:15:06,400 Speaker 4: regenerative power of sleep than coffee does. Far worse, Like 347 00:15:06,480 --> 00:15:08,840 Speaker 4: alcohol is far worse in terms of how you feel 348 00:15:08,880 --> 00:15:11,320 Speaker 4: after you sleep. So even if you sleep for ten hours, 349 00:15:11,360 --> 00:15:13,560 Speaker 4: if you started sleeping when you had six beers at 350 00:15:13,560 --> 00:15:15,920 Speaker 4: the start, that ten hours is going to give you 351 00:15:15,920 --> 00:15:19,320 Speaker 4: the equivalent of like what there's probably no number of equivalent. 352 00:15:19,320 --> 00:15:20,360 Speaker 4: It's probably on a different scale. 353 00:15:20,360 --> 00:15:23,000 Speaker 2: But let's say four hours. Yeah, right, and then you 354 00:15:23,040 --> 00:15:25,040 Speaker 2: wake up the next morning. And what did I say 355 00:15:25,040 --> 00:15:27,960 Speaker 2: at the start of this, I can't remember still got 356 00:15:27,960 --> 00:15:28,440 Speaker 2: a child? 357 00:15:28,520 --> 00:15:31,440 Speaker 1: Oh sorry, yeap, damn, I've forgotten muchild already. I'm going 358 00:15:31,480 --> 00:15:36,720 Speaker 1: to wake up so many mornings and be like, yeah, 359 00:15:36,840 --> 00:15:38,320 Speaker 1: he's still going to a child obviously. 360 00:15:38,400 --> 00:15:40,360 Speaker 3: And we all know what we're like when we're hungover. 361 00:15:40,520 --> 00:15:43,400 Speaker 3: If I'm hungover and I have to put the bins out, 362 00:15:43,480 --> 00:15:47,600 Speaker 3: I'm going, yes, god, yeah, And I don't I think 363 00:15:47,640 --> 00:15:52,520 Speaker 3: I'm worried about having that ever ever, having a I've 364 00:15:52,560 --> 00:15:53,000 Speaker 3: got to go. 365 00:15:52,960 --> 00:15:54,360 Speaker 1: On around looking after my time. 366 00:15:54,400 --> 00:15:55,000 Speaker 2: It's going to happen. 367 00:15:55,880 --> 00:15:56,520 Speaker 1: I'm sure it will. 368 00:15:56,520 --> 00:15:58,960 Speaker 3: It's going to happen, but I but I think one 369 00:15:59,000 --> 00:16:01,160 Speaker 3: hundred percent it will happen. But I can I think 370 00:16:01,200 --> 00:16:04,640 Speaker 3: I can control the alcohol consumption. 371 00:16:04,720 --> 00:16:07,200 Speaker 4: Well that for me is like, I mean, I don't 372 00:16:07,240 --> 00:16:11,320 Speaker 4: want to use. You know, the word contraception comes to mind, 373 00:16:11,520 --> 00:16:16,160 Speaker 4: like it's the perfect contraception. It's the perfect alcohol contraception. Oh, 374 00:16:16,720 --> 00:16:20,120 Speaker 4: it's like having a kid is like, well for now anyway, 375 00:16:20,120 --> 00:16:22,720 Speaker 4: I'm sure it'll change when she sleeps properly, but like 376 00:16:22,800 --> 00:16:24,600 Speaker 4: for now, it's like because you know, you said, do you 377 00:16:24,560 --> 00:16:25,400 Speaker 4: want to wake up hungover? 378 00:16:26,600 --> 00:16:28,240 Speaker 2: Sure? Sure, hangovers one thing? 379 00:16:29,000 --> 00:16:32,480 Speaker 4: Waking up tired, like really tired like I was on 380 00:16:32,520 --> 00:16:37,200 Speaker 4: the weekend, Like it is that it is really tough. 381 00:16:37,960 --> 00:16:39,440 Speaker 2: You're both tired. 382 00:16:39,080 --> 00:16:41,320 Speaker 4: As well, so like you know, and Sam has been 383 00:16:41,400 --> 00:16:44,840 Speaker 4: up to sleep, you know, feeding her all night, her 384 00:16:44,840 --> 00:16:48,240 Speaker 4: all night, so she's tired. If I also wake up tired, 385 00:16:48,480 --> 00:16:52,040 Speaker 4: oh god, yourself, that's pretty grim. 386 00:16:52,440 --> 00:16:54,440 Speaker 2: You need to try and have like at least one 387 00:16:54,440 --> 00:16:55,360 Speaker 2: of you who's kind of there. 388 00:16:55,360 --> 00:16:57,280 Speaker 4: And if the reason that I'm tired is because I 389 00:16:57,320 --> 00:16:58,080 Speaker 4: decided to have. 390 00:16:58,000 --> 00:17:00,520 Speaker 2: Eight beers, yeah, stuck it up. 391 00:17:00,600 --> 00:17:03,400 Speaker 4: Stuck it up, princess, get going like that's that's on 392 00:17:03,440 --> 00:17:04,480 Speaker 4: you and fair enough. 393 00:17:04,480 --> 00:17:05,080 Speaker 1: So it's it. 394 00:17:05,119 --> 00:17:07,919 Speaker 4: Becomes Yeah, it's sort of as I said, it's an 395 00:17:07,920 --> 00:17:10,960 Speaker 4: alcohol contraception in a lot of ways. I think so, 396 00:17:11,560 --> 00:17:14,160 Speaker 4: and it's sort of change changed my relationship with alcohol 397 00:17:14,200 --> 00:17:14,439 Speaker 4: a bit. 398 00:17:14,520 --> 00:17:17,480 Speaker 3: So you've sort of answered the question in quite a 399 00:17:17,520 --> 00:17:20,760 Speaker 3: macro scale and all the impacts that alcohol can have 400 00:17:20,840 --> 00:17:21,560 Speaker 3: within parenting. 401 00:17:21,960 --> 00:17:24,000 Speaker 2: But a couple of glass of wine is now. 402 00:17:24,080 --> 00:17:26,399 Speaker 4: But as a result, once you cancel out that, you know, 403 00:17:26,600 --> 00:17:29,000 Speaker 4: binge factor, Hey, I love drinking that much. 404 00:17:29,440 --> 00:17:32,239 Speaker 2: Now a couple of glasses of wine is like, how 405 00:17:32,240 --> 00:17:32,679 Speaker 2: good is this? 406 00:17:32,800 --> 00:17:34,679 Speaker 3: See my battle is going to be and maybe I 407 00:17:34,720 --> 00:17:39,159 Speaker 3: will get better at stopping up take two mornings. But I'm, 408 00:17:39,640 --> 00:17:42,760 Speaker 3: as you know, with anything in my life, am either nothing, 409 00:17:43,200 --> 00:17:43,840 Speaker 3: I'm a lot. 410 00:17:44,200 --> 00:17:46,760 Speaker 1: Yes, it's quite hard for me to hit that middle ground. 411 00:17:46,840 --> 00:17:50,760 Speaker 2: But maybe a child, Maybe that's that's what your girl 412 00:17:50,920 --> 00:17:52,040 Speaker 2: will bring you. 413 00:17:52,080 --> 00:17:53,920 Speaker 4: Because you and it kind of goes back what you 414 00:17:53,960 --> 00:17:55,720 Speaker 4: were saying at the start of the conversation in terms 415 00:17:55,760 --> 00:17:56,960 Speaker 4: of what are you compromising? 416 00:17:57,640 --> 00:18:00,399 Speaker 3: Yeah, alcohols and need to compromise me though as well, 417 00:18:00,840 --> 00:18:04,320 Speaker 3: because I like I could stop drinking. You're not drinking today, 418 00:18:04,520 --> 00:18:07,640 Speaker 3: exactly a problem. But my problem is, you know, Analyse 419 00:18:07,680 --> 00:18:10,640 Speaker 3: comes in here with a sugar free cruiser and I go, oh, 420 00:18:11,080 --> 00:18:11,880 Speaker 3: have four more of them? 421 00:18:11,920 --> 00:18:12,720 Speaker 1: You know you know what I mean? 422 00:18:12,800 --> 00:18:14,440 Speaker 2: Sorry, did you just say alcohol was easy? 423 00:18:15,040 --> 00:18:16,040 Speaker 1: No? No, no it is. 424 00:18:16,200 --> 00:18:19,720 Speaker 2: But I walked past the drink bridge and as soon 425 00:18:19,720 --> 00:18:20,680 Speaker 2: as it touches my lips. 426 00:18:20,840 --> 00:18:23,040 Speaker 1: Yeah, it's like it's like that scene from Old School. 427 00:18:23,359 --> 00:18:27,320 Speaker 3: Will Ferrell conceivably in that film isn't drinking. He doesn't drink, 428 00:18:27,359 --> 00:18:29,120 Speaker 3: that's right, soon as he has one beer. 429 00:18:28,960 --> 00:18:30,760 Speaker 2: Bong, Yeah, it's all over. 430 00:18:30,920 --> 00:18:31,320 Speaker 1: Good night. 431 00:18:31,480 --> 00:18:32,520 Speaker 2: Yeah, there's an idea. 432 00:18:33,119 --> 00:18:34,520 Speaker 1: I reckon, I've got time for one more question. 433 00:18:34,720 --> 00:18:35,480 Speaker 2: No, I need to finish. 434 00:18:35,880 --> 00:18:38,840 Speaker 1: Sorry for a go I mean the alarm might go off, 435 00:18:38,840 --> 00:18:39,200 Speaker 1: but go. 436 00:18:41,400 --> 00:18:43,760 Speaker 4: So back to what I was saying to you, to 437 00:18:43,840 --> 00:18:46,439 Speaker 4: you before, because you were saying I'm all or nothing, yes, 438 00:18:46,840 --> 00:18:49,080 Speaker 4: And then I said, because that's what I said earlier 439 00:18:49,080 --> 00:18:50,680 Speaker 4: on in the podcast, is I feel like this is 440 00:18:50,800 --> 00:18:52,960 Speaker 4: constant conversation in what I'm going to compromise. 441 00:18:53,320 --> 00:18:55,280 Speaker 1: Yes, Oh damn it. 442 00:18:55,320 --> 00:18:57,320 Speaker 3: I put that down twenty minutes ago and I totally 443 00:18:57,359 --> 00:18:58,320 Speaker 3: forgot to pick it back up. 444 00:18:58,600 --> 00:18:59,760 Speaker 2: Yeah. Hence I'm picking it up. 445 00:19:00,240 --> 00:19:02,399 Speaker 4: Is that something that you've come to terms with in 446 00:19:02,480 --> 00:19:04,440 Speaker 4: terms of like what you're going to compromise and how 447 00:19:04,480 --> 00:19:05,400 Speaker 4: you're going to compromise. 448 00:19:05,480 --> 00:19:06,960 Speaker 2: Because I'll give you an example. 449 00:19:07,080 --> 00:19:08,560 Speaker 4: And the reason I say that because I know how 450 00:19:08,640 --> 00:19:11,000 Speaker 4: you know important, like your time is to yourself. Yeah 451 00:19:11,040 --> 00:19:14,439 Speaker 4: yeah yeah, and I like today, So today, like I 452 00:19:14,440 --> 00:19:17,520 Speaker 4: didn't exercise this morning. Yeah, the time just there was 453 00:19:17,520 --> 00:19:21,000 Speaker 4: a window it went from like an hour to forty 454 00:19:21,000 --> 00:19:22,120 Speaker 4: five minutes to half an hour. 455 00:19:22,200 --> 00:19:23,280 Speaker 2: I was like, I don't have time. 456 00:19:23,440 --> 00:19:26,080 Speaker 4: Yeah, and I had to compromise. 457 00:19:26,119 --> 00:19:27,440 Speaker 2: But then it meant that I ended up. 458 00:19:27,600 --> 00:19:30,040 Speaker 4: You know, whatever you give up in a compromise, obviously 459 00:19:30,080 --> 00:19:31,880 Speaker 4: you get back. So there's something that I get back, 460 00:19:31,880 --> 00:19:33,240 Speaker 4: which I mean, I've got to have half an hour 461 00:19:33,240 --> 00:19:35,800 Speaker 4: with MAXI listening to music and it was awesome. Have 462 00:19:35,920 --> 00:19:38,919 Speaker 4: you thought about what parts of your life you are 463 00:19:39,000 --> 00:19:40,359 Speaker 4: going to have to compromise with. 464 00:19:40,560 --> 00:19:43,360 Speaker 3: I've just started writing down a list of what I'm 465 00:19:43,359 --> 00:19:45,160 Speaker 3: calling my life priorities. 466 00:19:45,240 --> 00:19:47,760 Speaker 1: Oh yeah, nice, and it's really interesting. 467 00:19:49,920 --> 00:19:53,160 Speaker 3: My biggest struggle at the moment, it's like I'm treating 468 00:19:53,240 --> 00:19:58,640 Speaker 3: myself like a baby. My biggest struggle is the differentiation 469 00:19:58,800 --> 00:20:01,119 Speaker 3: between what I really want, like what a the pro 470 00:20:01,560 --> 00:20:03,600 Speaker 3: I love this and I don't want to let go 471 00:20:03,680 --> 00:20:06,840 Speaker 3: of this, but then compared to what do I think 472 00:20:06,920 --> 00:20:08,400 Speaker 3: I should still be doing. 473 00:20:08,920 --> 00:20:14,200 Speaker 1: And I think my biggest jeez bridge, sister, my biggest. 474 00:20:13,760 --> 00:20:17,080 Speaker 3: Concern with that is and this will sound weird for people, 475 00:20:17,080 --> 00:20:20,520 Speaker 3: but this is true for me, the social side of 476 00:20:20,560 --> 00:20:23,680 Speaker 3: my life. I can see myself letting that go by 477 00:20:23,720 --> 00:20:26,280 Speaker 3: the wayside because I'm a socially anxious person. 478 00:20:26,320 --> 00:20:29,000 Speaker 1: That's actually as far as like a sacrifice. 479 00:20:28,440 --> 00:20:29,920 Speaker 2: Goes, that's not a sacrifice. 480 00:20:30,720 --> 00:20:32,760 Speaker 3: I would be fine. I would be fine in a 481 00:20:32,800 --> 00:20:34,640 Speaker 3: cabin in the woods by myself. I'm just that sort 482 00:20:34,640 --> 00:20:37,760 Speaker 3: of person. But I also know that when I start 483 00:20:37,960 --> 00:20:41,959 Speaker 3: socializing less actually that it's not good for my social anxiety. 484 00:20:41,960 --> 00:20:44,080 Speaker 3: And it's actually really whenever I socialize, I have the 485 00:20:44,119 --> 00:20:46,600 Speaker 3: best time and I always go, oh, that was so, 486 00:20:47,240 --> 00:20:49,320 Speaker 3: But beforehand I can go I don't really feel like that. 487 00:20:49,640 --> 00:20:52,119 Speaker 1: I'd rather that. So I think the biggest. 488 00:20:51,720 --> 00:20:55,000 Speaker 3: Battle for me with that priority list is choosing between Okay, 489 00:20:55,040 --> 00:20:56,439 Speaker 3: there's these things you want to do and that is 490 00:20:57,320 --> 00:21:01,840 Speaker 3: alone time, exercise. Then there's like a the other side, 491 00:21:01,880 --> 00:21:04,160 Speaker 3: which i'd call like put it in the fun column. 492 00:21:05,000 --> 00:21:06,679 Speaker 1: I worry I'll sacrifice a lot of. 493 00:21:06,680 --> 00:21:09,000 Speaker 2: The fun column. What's in your fun column? 494 00:21:09,160 --> 00:21:10,440 Speaker 1: Fun colmn socializing. 495 00:21:12,160 --> 00:21:14,000 Speaker 3: Fun wasn't the right way to describe it, because I 496 00:21:14,119 --> 00:21:18,520 Speaker 3: see fun in alone time, but that part of my life, 497 00:21:18,600 --> 00:21:21,359 Speaker 3: I don't know how I'm going to go balancing that. 498 00:21:23,040 --> 00:21:25,960 Speaker 4: Yeah well, yeah, well it goes back to what I'm 499 00:21:26,000 --> 00:21:28,320 Speaker 4: you know, taking the baby around with you. I think 500 00:21:28,400 --> 00:21:31,000 Speaker 4: what i've It's really funny that you mentioned that, like 501 00:21:31,080 --> 00:21:33,400 Speaker 4: what you want to do versus what you should do, 502 00:21:34,280 --> 00:21:40,959 Speaker 4: because I think whatever that is they I think it's 503 00:21:41,000 --> 00:21:43,040 Speaker 4: amazing that you're writing a list. Actually it's quick, it's 504 00:21:43,040 --> 00:21:46,320 Speaker 4: a really good idea, but it kind of like, in 505 00:21:46,359 --> 00:21:50,119 Speaker 4: a way I found recently that it kind of sorts 506 00:21:50,160 --> 00:21:50,800 Speaker 4: itself out. 507 00:21:51,440 --> 00:21:51,680 Speaker 1: Yeah. 508 00:21:51,880 --> 00:21:57,159 Speaker 4: Yeah, because because because if you start doing things that 509 00:21:57,200 --> 00:21:59,960 Speaker 4: you feel like you should be doing, and you do 510 00:22:00,040 --> 00:22:02,359 Speaker 4: too much of that and your life is just what 511 00:22:02,400 --> 00:22:07,040 Speaker 4: I should be doing my baby and work, then you 512 00:22:07,080 --> 00:22:08,719 Speaker 4: get miserable pretty quickly. 513 00:22:09,200 --> 00:22:10,000 Speaker 1: You're going to explode. 514 00:22:10,119 --> 00:22:12,800 Speaker 4: Yeah, so you kind of need to. Like so now 515 00:22:12,960 --> 00:22:15,960 Speaker 4: I wake up every morning and I go, well, even 516 00:22:16,000 --> 00:22:18,920 Speaker 4: the night before, I might be over plenty, but. 517 00:22:18,840 --> 00:22:22,439 Speaker 2: It gets like this, I I. 518 00:22:21,800 --> 00:22:23,440 Speaker 4: Sam and I have a conversation where I go, what's 519 00:22:23,600 --> 00:22:25,000 Speaker 4: what what do you what's the one thing you want 520 00:22:25,040 --> 00:22:25,840 Speaker 4: to do tomorrow morning? 521 00:22:26,000 --> 00:22:26,800 Speaker 1: Oh, that's great. 522 00:22:27,160 --> 00:22:28,600 Speaker 4: And then she says to me, like, what's the one 523 00:22:28,600 --> 00:22:30,040 Speaker 4: thing you want to do? And for me, it's always 524 00:22:30,040 --> 00:22:32,080 Speaker 4: I want to write. So I'm like, I just want 525 00:22:32,119 --> 00:22:34,040 Speaker 4: an hour or like I can I'm I can have 526 00:22:34,080 --> 00:22:35,760 Speaker 4: Max strapped to me or whatever, But I don't want 527 00:22:35,800 --> 00:22:37,680 Speaker 4: an hour to write. And She'll be like, I want 528 00:22:37,680 --> 00:22:39,159 Speaker 4: to go to a pilates class or I want to 529 00:22:39,200 --> 00:22:41,119 Speaker 4: go for a walk with m one of her friends 530 00:22:41,200 --> 00:22:44,440 Speaker 4: or whatever. That's great, that's the and that that's that's 531 00:22:44,480 --> 00:22:48,199 Speaker 4: the compromise. But two, I think for the you know, 532 00:22:48,200 --> 00:22:50,280 Speaker 4: Max is three months old now, so for for us, 533 00:22:50,320 --> 00:22:52,440 Speaker 4: I think to want more than that. 534 00:22:54,080 --> 00:22:55,280 Speaker 2: Is ridiculous. 535 00:22:55,560 --> 00:22:58,280 Speaker 4: But but but not only but and that makes it 536 00:22:58,359 --> 00:23:01,320 Speaker 4: that's different to the way the life was. But as 537 00:23:01,359 --> 00:23:02,600 Speaker 4: I've spoken to you about before, and I think we've 538 00:23:02,600 --> 00:23:05,359 Speaker 4: spoken about on this podcast before, that's why baby is 539 00:23:05,359 --> 00:23:06,560 Speaker 4: a great dissolving agents. 540 00:23:06,760 --> 00:23:08,880 Speaker 2: I think it's a good way to describe a baby is. 541 00:23:08,840 --> 00:23:11,240 Speaker 1: It's like it just crystallizes what you want to do. 542 00:23:11,280 --> 00:23:12,280 Speaker 2: It just simpathize things. 543 00:23:12,359 --> 00:23:13,200 Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah. 544 00:23:13,920 --> 00:23:15,359 Speaker 4: If I look at because I used to wake up 545 00:23:15,400 --> 00:23:17,199 Speaker 4: and be like, Okay, here are there. You know, I 546 00:23:17,240 --> 00:23:18,480 Speaker 4: want to do some writing, I've got to do my 547 00:23:18,560 --> 00:23:21,199 Speaker 4: radio show notes. Obviously, I've got to do, you know, 548 00:23:22,160 --> 00:23:23,159 Speaker 4: whatever it is I want to do. 549 00:23:23,480 --> 00:23:24,920 Speaker 2: And I've always got a billion things that i want 550 00:23:24,960 --> 00:23:25,119 Speaker 2: to do. 551 00:23:25,240 --> 00:23:26,880 Speaker 3: They talk about that being a curse of rich people. 552 00:23:26,880 --> 00:23:28,240 Speaker 3: By the way, it's a shocking thing to have to 553 00:23:28,280 --> 00:23:28,600 Speaker 3: go through. 554 00:23:28,680 --> 00:23:30,720 Speaker 2: I hate it. Yeah, I hate it. 555 00:23:30,800 --> 00:23:33,080 Speaker 3: You're a billionaire. It goes from like it's a burden. 556 00:23:33,160 --> 00:23:35,719 Speaker 3: It's a real burden. I just I don't like it. 557 00:23:35,760 --> 00:23:37,720 Speaker 4: My mind always comes up with way too many things 558 00:23:37,720 --> 00:23:39,480 Speaker 4: that I need to do, or could do, or should do. 559 00:23:39,800 --> 00:23:41,880 Speaker 3: I think you end up doing never what I want 560 00:23:41,920 --> 00:23:43,720 Speaker 3: to ever meets like that, Oh but it could have 561 00:23:43,760 --> 00:23:44,679 Speaker 3: been this, and it could have been that. 562 00:23:44,800 --> 00:23:48,520 Speaker 2: Yes, no, that's that's hence yeah, and we don't go 563 00:23:48,560 --> 00:23:48,800 Speaker 2: into it. 564 00:23:48,800 --> 00:23:50,600 Speaker 4: But hence why I'm always late, Because I always feel 565 00:23:50,640 --> 00:23:52,040 Speaker 4: like there's one more thing that I can do, and 566 00:23:52,080 --> 00:23:53,480 Speaker 4: if I don't do that thing, I'm not going to 567 00:23:53,480 --> 00:23:56,320 Speaker 4: be happy with myself. So I would rather sacrifice the 568 00:23:56,359 --> 00:24:00,240 Speaker 4: time elsewhere then feel that, oh God, you really fucked 569 00:24:00,240 --> 00:24:00,640 Speaker 4: it up day. 570 00:24:00,640 --> 00:24:02,480 Speaker 2: And I get a lot of self judgment. So that's 571 00:24:02,480 --> 00:24:03,440 Speaker 2: why i'm late places. 572 00:24:03,680 --> 00:24:06,600 Speaker 4: But with the baby it's great because I just like, 573 00:24:07,200 --> 00:24:08,760 Speaker 4: it takes two seconds to be like, what do I 574 00:24:08,880 --> 00:24:09,760 Speaker 4: really want to do? 575 00:24:10,600 --> 00:24:12,120 Speaker 2: And it kind of it happens really quickly. 576 00:24:12,200 --> 00:24:15,080 Speaker 4: I'm like, and then then everything else kind of falls 577 00:24:15,080 --> 00:24:16,800 Speaker 4: away because I actually have a choice. 578 00:24:17,080 --> 00:24:18,760 Speaker 1: No, yeah, yeah, yeah, it's taken out of your hands. 579 00:24:18,760 --> 00:24:21,040 Speaker 3: But not having choice is actually it's a good thing, 580 00:24:21,320 --> 00:24:22,720 Speaker 3: right yeah, yeah, yeah. 581 00:24:22,760 --> 00:24:36,960 Speaker 4: It's like an arranged marriage. 582 00:24:25,600 --> 00:24:33,200 Speaker 3: There, arranged marriage? 583 00:24:33,440 --> 00:24:35,199 Speaker 1: Is it good? Anyway? 584 00:24:35,240 --> 00:24:39,040 Speaker 3: We won't dive into that because we we just can't. 585 00:24:39,640 --> 00:24:42,680 Speaker 3: But that was episode three of Dil's Lemmer's. Feel free 586 00:24:42,720 --> 00:24:45,919 Speaker 3: to reach out if you've got any thoughts, I assume 587 00:24:46,000 --> 00:24:50,040 Speaker 3: just on our show page Will and Woody Instagram. 588 00:24:50,520 --> 00:24:52,160 Speaker 1: You're just analysis giving thumbs there. 589 00:24:52,200 --> 00:24:55,240 Speaker 3: Just DM there if you're if you have a follow 590 00:24:55,320 --> 00:24:58,680 Speaker 3: up question on something we've discussed, or maybe you're either 591 00:24:58,760 --> 00:25:02,280 Speaker 3: a dad, be a dilf to be or a milk 592 00:25:02,520 --> 00:25:04,359 Speaker 3: or sorry it's weird when you say milk, but I 593 00:25:04,400 --> 00:25:05,680 Speaker 3: don't want to exclude women here. 594 00:25:06,440 --> 00:25:08,240 Speaker 1: Sorry, that was that was crass. 595 00:25:08,560 --> 00:25:10,040 Speaker 3: If you're a woman or a guy and you're a 596 00:25:10,320 --> 00:25:12,040 Speaker 3: you're gonna be a parent or you are a parent, 597 00:25:12,080 --> 00:25:15,160 Speaker 3: and you're like really grappling with something right now, buddy, 598 00:25:15,200 --> 00:25:16,320 Speaker 3: el check it the dials. 599 00:25:16,560 --> 00:25:17,920 Speaker 2: Why you've got heaps and notes? 600 00:25:18,359 --> 00:25:20,960 Speaker 1: Yeah, and I mean I won't show you my notes, but. 601 00:25:20,880 --> 00:25:26,399 Speaker 4: What you'll say is that if we get the reverse 602 00:25:26,480 --> 00:25:30,119 Speaker 4: camerangling here, it's just you're just staring at a photo 603 00:25:30,160 --> 00:25:31,200 Speaker 4: of yourself. 604 00:25:33,040 --> 00:25:35,360 Speaker 2: Or just the just the mac, just the mac background. 605 00:25:35,440 --> 00:25:38,280 Speaker 4: It's just the just yoursemite in the background there, and 606 00:25:38,359 --> 00:25:41,040 Speaker 4: you're kind of like, because occasionally you point, you're just 607 00:25:41,440 --> 00:25:42,800 Speaker 4: pointing at a couple of the peaks. 608 00:25:43,440 --> 00:25:45,480 Speaker 1: Yeah, it's just a monkey smashing symbol. 609 00:25:45,760 --> 00:25:51,399 Speaker 3: That's but yeah, achat, But thank you once again, and 610 00:25:51,440 --> 00:25:52,440 Speaker 3: then we'll be back next week.