Speaker 1: Just before we get started, we'd like to acknowledge and
Speaker 1: pay respect to Australia's Aboriginal and torrest Right Islander people's.
Speaker 1: They're the traditional custodians of the lands, the waterways and
Speaker 1: the skies all across Australia. We thank you for sharing
Speaker 1: and for caring for the land on which we are
Speaker 1: able to learn. We pay respects to elders past and present,
Speaker 1: and we share our friendship and our kindness. She's on
Speaker 1: the Money. She's on the Money.
Speaker 2: Hello, and welcome to She's on the Money, the podcast
Speaker 2: for millennials who want financial freedom. Joining me as per
Speaker 2: is a woman who is actually in the thick of
Speaker 2: today's episode topic, but we'll get to that later.
Speaker 1: It is, of course, Victoria Divine. Hello, Hello.
Speaker 2: Now, today we are going to be giving you some
Speaker 2: of the history and context around weddings, which is cold,
Speaker 2: weird stuff, some weird and strange stuff.
Speaker 1: It's not just an episode on budgeting for a wedding,
Speaker 1: like we're also going to talk about the sassy Queen Victoria.
Speaker 1: We're going to talk about why maybe we're white to weddings,
Speaker 1: like we need to know all of the gory details
Speaker 1: because some of these things, and some of these work
Speaker 1: traditions as I'm learning and not that good. They make
Speaker 1: no sense.
Speaker 2: They make me uncomfortable. But don't be fooled. We will
Speaker 2: also be talking about the counter budget for your wedding
Speaker 2: because we're about exactly right.
Speaker 1: Got to keep the people happy.
Speaker 2: To kick us off VD, I'm going to rattle off
Speaker 2: some stats and figures.
Speaker 1: Go stats, gal, go how big is.
Speaker 2: The wedding industry in Australia, you might ask yourself asking
Speaker 2: In a normal year, Australia's wedding industry contributes four point
Speaker 2: three billion dollars to the economy, with one hundred and
Speaker 2: ten thousand marriages going ahead each and every year.
Speaker 1: I'm going to be one of those this year, bless you.
Speaker 1: There's a lot of weddings. That is a lot. I'm
Speaker 1: not going to have that many weddings.
Speaker 2: I'll just have one that just the one can cook
Speaker 2: a cool Next up, Most Australian couples opt for wedding
Speaker 2: dates either in March or October, with March being the
Speaker 2: slightly more popular month.
Speaker 1: In twenty twenty one, I'm getting married in neither of
Speaker 1: those months. Interesting, you don't fit them. Mold there.
Speaker 2: Lastly, for Australian couples, weddings are mostly an expensive affair,
Speaker 2: with costs actually increasing yearly, and I would say unsurprisingly
Speaker 2: Victoria and New South Wales are both among the prisiest
Speaker 2: states in the country for weddings.
Speaker 1: We need to move states. I'm moving anywhere, but if
Speaker 1: I've got a choice, I think I'll choose Perth. They
Speaker 1: have quackers, and you know how much I love a Quaker.
Speaker 1: But moving on, Let's get into some numbers and how
Speaker 1: much this will actually cost, because I guess that's all
Speaker 1: I bring to the table really when it comes to
Speaker 1: the she and she's on the money, like I'm the
Speaker 1: money part, George is the fun part. Let's actually look
Speaker 1: at what states pay the most for weddings. So here
Speaker 1: in Victoria, do you know what we win? We win
Speaker 1: for having the highest for a wedding dress. Do you
Speaker 1: know the average wedding dress here in Victoria costs two
Speaker 1: six hundred and seventy five dollars. Good lord, that's a lot.
Speaker 1: Wait for it. I haven't even got a quote for
Speaker 1: this yet, so I'm terrified wedding here and makeup nine
Speaker 1: hundred and seventy five dollars. Oh lord, I will be
Speaker 1: doing my own if someone quotes me to have my
Speaker 1: makeup done for nine hundred and seventy five dollars to
Speaker 1: do it for you. Yeah, all right, that's five hundred. Okay,
Speaker 1: not so good. I would four five hundred dollars at
Speaker 1: least expect someone to own makeup. Yes, I've got Misscara.
Speaker 1: Do I also have to Bayo? Yes? All right. Bridesmaid's dress.
Speaker 1: I'm shocked because I don't know about you, but I'm
Speaker 1: planning a wedding Georgia King. I'm looking at all the
Speaker 1: standard bridesmaid's dresses and like there may be between like
Speaker 1: one and three hundred dollars. Maybe the average in Victoria
Speaker 1: is six hundred and eighty seven dollars Dricken. That means
Speaker 1: for one or for like multiple for modular dripp Obviously,
Speaker 1: this study did not give us the information. That's all right, regardless,
Speaker 1: that's a lot of money. A celebrant is eight hundred
Speaker 1: and ninety eight dollars here in Victoria. To be honest,
Speaker 1: I feel like that's pretty good. Like you're asking someone
Speaker 1: to come out, usually on a Saturday, and spend some
Speaker 1: time with you while you get married. Probably what you
Speaker 1: should be paying guests. Well, yeah, that is true. Instead
Speaker 1: they have to pay to be there. Reception go fourteen thousand,
Speaker 1: seven hundred and ten dollars, So.
Speaker 2: That's the bit where you're drinking the shampoos. See that's
Speaker 2: what I thought. But then they also broke it down
Speaker 2: as a caterer being five thousand, seven hundred and sixty
Speaker 2: one dollars. But because I've been getting quotes and stuff,
Speaker 2: I can tell you that that wedding reception probably does
Speaker 2: include the food. It might not include the alcohol at
Speaker 2: fourteen thousand dollars, but it would usually include the food.
Speaker 2: Because what I'm finding just anecdotal evidence, is that usually
Speaker 2: venues are charging anywhere between like one hundred and fifty
Speaker 2: to maybe two hundred fifty dollars per head for a wedding,
Speaker 2: including food and alcohol for the reception, and times that
Speaker 2: by how many? What would be the average number of
Speaker 2: attendees at.
Speaker 1: Eighty Apparently according to all of the you know wedding
Speaker 1: people I'm talking to, they're saying, look, look, eighty is
Speaker 1: pretty standard. It's not too small, it's not too big.
Speaker 1: That takes you up to twelve thousand dollars in like
Speaker 1: food and beverage costs Immediately, if you have eighty people
Speaker 1: at one hundred and fifty dollars per head not cheap,
Speaker 1: that's a lot of money. But then you add on
Speaker 1: everything else and you can see why the average wedding
Speaker 1: ends up being more than thirty thousand dollars. Because you've
Speaker 1: got your hair, you've got your makeup, you've got your
Speaker 1: bridesmaid's dress. You haven't even thought about the groom in
Speaker 1: this list exactly what we haven't even got a photographer,
Speaker 1: a videographer, which I've recently learned is that must have,
Speaker 1: like what these things are all so expensive? And I
Speaker 1: will definitely be doing an episode after I get married
Speaker 1: of all the stuff that I bought that I regret. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's a really good one hundred percent because I guarantee
Speaker 1: it's gonna be a long episode. But moving on from
Speaker 1: you know, slamming Victoria, New South Wales is the most
Speaker 1: expensive for flowers, so on average, people are spending two
Speaker 1: one hundred and eighty eight dollars on flowers, Hikay, A
Speaker 1: photographer on average is three thousand, six hundred and forty
Speaker 1: six dollars and cake cake. I'm not having a cake
Speaker 1: at this point in time. I'm currently negotiating with my
Speaker 1: mother about this. Yeah, but cake five hundred and ninety
Speaker 1: three dollars?
Speaker 2: Wow?
Speaker 1: Do you reckon? I could just get into Cole's mud
Speaker 1: cakes and smash them together on the top, would you
Speaker 1: do it in the shape of Jess could do it
Speaker 1: for me? Yeah? Of course, honestly, Yeah, in smarties on
Speaker 1: the top.
Speaker 2: Ye.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna argue with someone because Cole's Mudcake is elite
Speaker 1: and that ain't gonna cost you five hundred ninety three dollars.
Speaker 1: Do you know? Tazzy gets to play this as well,
Speaker 1: which I didn't think they would be the most expensive
Speaker 1: for something, but a dj A band in Tazzy is
Speaker 1: the most expensive, coming in at two three hundred and
Speaker 1: ninety nine dollars on average. There you go. Maybe it's
Speaker 1: because there are less creatives there, or get this, the
Speaker 1: creatives actually value themselves properly.
Speaker 2: Well, yes, and we all should, shouldn't we V For
Speaker 2: anyone who doesn't know a little bit of a background
Speaker 2: to hear, V is getting married in November and I'm
Speaker 2: probably never getting married. I'm You're coming to the wedding.
Speaker 2: Your connection, that's not that's my connection to weddings now
Speaker 2: we're going to move into that weird space that we
Speaker 2: alluded to before. VD. We're getting historical. We're talking about
Speaker 2: the history of weddings and the premise of marriage, which
Speaker 2: is mostly heteronormative, so we will flank that as well.
Speaker 2: And it's also quite unrheumatic, which may surprise some people.
Speaker 2: So the best available evidence suggests that marriage is about
Speaker 2: four thousand, three hundred and fifty years old. Great, thank
Speaker 2: you for thousands of years before that. Most anthropologists believe
Speaker 2: families actually consisted of loosely organized groups of as many
Speaker 2: as thirty people with several male leaders. Of course, the
Speaker 2: multiple women we're in those families shared by those men
Speaker 2: and also some children thrown who.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that gives me the ick, not because it's not
Speaker 1: you know, if you want to do that, you do.
Speaker 1: You like, Polyamorous relationships exist, and that's totally a valid
Speaker 1: form of having a relationship, but it's the premise that
Speaker 1: it's just like led by men and then the women
Speaker 1: are shared like ill.
Speaker 2: Well, that's what it all stems back to. Though it's interesting.
Speaker 2: The first recorded evidence of marriage ceremonies uniting one woman
Speaker 2: and one man dates back from about twenty three hundred
Speaker 2: and fifty b c. To ages Go in Mesopotamia. But
Speaker 2: back then marriage had little to do with love or religion.
Speaker 1: Women were just tradable resources and well yeah, man.
Speaker 2: Marriage's primary purpose was to bind women to men and
Speaker 2: guarantee that a man's children were then truly.
Speaker 1: His biological heirs.
Speaker 2: What through marriage a woman becomes a man's property. In
Speaker 2: the betrothal ceremony of ancient Greek, a father would hand
Speaker 2: over his daughter with these words, Okay, brace.
Speaker 1: Yourself, I pledge.
Speaker 2: I pledge my daughter for the purpose of producing legitimate offspring.
Speaker 2: Among the ancient Hebrews, men were free to take several wives.
Speaker 2: Married Greeks and Romans were free to satisfy their sexual
Speaker 2: urges with concubines, prostitutes, and even teenage male lovers, while
Speaker 2: their wives were required to stay home and tend to
Speaker 2: the household. If wives failed to produce offspring, their husbands
Speaker 2: could give them back and marry someone else.
Speaker 1: You could give your wife fat. I'm surprised it wasn't
Speaker 1: like you can stone them to death and then I
Speaker 1: don't know. He probably needed to do some more research.
Speaker 1: I'm absolutely certain that there would have been some kind
Speaker 1: of quote punishment. Huh I reckon.
Speaker 2: But as religion became big in Europe, the blessing of
Speaker 2: a priest became a necessary step in the process. Obviously, apparently,
Speaker 2: bringing God into marriage meant men were taught how to
Speaker 2: show greater respect for their wives.
Speaker 1: It forbade them from divorcing them. Yeah, good, that's obviously
Speaker 1: really important. We love.
Speaker 2: Christian doctrine also declared that the twain shall be one
Speaker 2: flesh poetic, giving husband and wife exclusive access to each
Speaker 2: other's bodies.
Speaker 1: This put new pressure.
Speaker 2: On men to remain sexually faithful, but the Church still
Speaker 2: held that men were the head of families, with their
Speaker 2: wives deferring to their wishes. Gross Moving on. Love is
Speaker 2: also relatively recent in marriage two, with the Middle Ages
Speaker 2: seeing the first documentation of love over practicalities.
Speaker 1: Weighing in our marriage. I love that good.
Speaker 2: And finally, flash way forward to the ninth of December
Speaker 2: twenty seventeen, when the right to marry in Australia was
Speaker 2: no longer determined by sex or gender. When Australians freakin
Speaker 2: finally voted for marriage equality via a postal survey ten.
Speaker 1: Out of ten from us. That's just a brief little
Speaker 1: history of I think it's very interesting. I feel like
Speaker 1: there's so many different reasons why we did things and
Speaker 1: do things, but it's not that often that we actually
Speaker 1: question them. And this whole marriage process for me has
Speaker 1: been a lot of questioning, like why do we do that?
Speaker 1: Why do we have a cake? Why do I have
Speaker 1: to be walked down the aisle by somebody else? Like
Speaker 1: why would we get married in a church which we're not?
Speaker 1: Why would we do all of these different things? I
Speaker 1: keep googling things like why should I carry a bouquet
Speaker 1: down the aisle?
Speaker 2: That?
Speaker 1: Like why am I carrying that? Do you know why? Georgia?
Speaker 1: Because people didn't used to bathe and they would smell,
Speaker 1: so they carried flowers. Interesting cute, So I missed stinky
Speaker 1: bride if I carry flowers. I don't what any stinky
Speaker 1: bride or shower I promise on my wedding day, of all,
Speaker 1: I can't promise any other day. But I'm sure it's
Speaker 1: held in confirm that on my wedding day or have
Speaker 1: a shower at least once. It is all quite strange,
Speaker 1: isn't it. That is definitely all quite a time, And
Speaker 1: I will shower on my wedding day. But let's talk
Speaker 1: about some of the things that are generally regarded as
Speaker 1: wedding staples. Like, let's get into it, Jack, Did you
Speaker 1: know that the og Obviously Queen Victoria herself, she chose
Speaker 1: to wear white because it was the perfect color for
Speaker 1: her to flex the delicacy of the lace that was
Speaker 1: on her gown. That's why she chose white. And then
Speaker 1: she asked nobody else other than the bridesmaids to wear
Speaker 1: white on that day because she wanted to be the
Speaker 1: center of attention, because she's Victoria after all. And until
Speaker 1: that point, most women actually wore bright and colorful dresses
Speaker 1: that could be recycled through different occasions, because obviously, dresses
Speaker 1: used to be so much more expensive before Queen Victoria,
Speaker 1: women who wore white on their wedding day did it
Speaker 1: to show how rich they were, because obviously they could
Speaker 1: show that they could keep their stuff clean, which was
Speaker 1: definitely not you know, the norm of the time. See,
Speaker 1: I thought it was a symbol of like your virginity. No,
Speaker 1: it's because Queen Victoria wore white, and then that became
Speaker 1: quite trendy. Up until then, we just wore whatever we want,
Speaker 1: and then bride'smaids speaking of them, they weren't allowed to
Speaker 1: wear white. Spoiler, I think I want my bridesmaids to
Speaker 1: wear white, just to shake that up. But bridesmaids in
Speaker 1: ancient Rome, it was believed that bad spirits would descend
Speaker 1: upon the wedding, so bridesmaids actually ended up wearing similar
Speaker 1: outfits to the bride to confound to the evil doers.
Speaker 1: Seems legit. It is such a agit, right, And in
Speaker 1: many cultures throughout history, brides presented their grooms with a
Speaker 1: dowry of money, furniture, and other riches, which made them
Speaker 1: targets for robbers and their evil exes. And again, bridesmaids
Speaker 1: actually served as quote decoys so that the bandits wouldn't
Speaker 1: know who the actual bride was and who'd ever rob
Speaker 1: what I know? Also, you know, I probably should mention
Speaker 1: the idea of being given away and a dowry and
Speaker 1: all of that makes me wildly are uncomfortable. But yeah,
Speaker 1: I won't be given away. Are you taking Steve's last night?
Speaker 1: I'm not?
Speaker 2: Is that okay? That's what I thought you would say.
Speaker 2: But if you were Victoria Deviron from She's on the Money, Yeah,
Speaker 2: if you were just in the quotation marks a financial advisor. Yeah,
Speaker 2: with no like media career, would you have taken his name?
Speaker 2: I've never wanted to take somebody else's name. I've always
Speaker 2: felt really connected to my own name. Maybe there's like
Speaker 2: a lot of reasons and we can get into it
Speaker 2: very deeply one day over a couple of wines. But
Speaker 2: ever since I was little, I have wanted to keep
Speaker 2: my surname Divine because my dad's actually the only boy
Speaker 2: left in his family, and he's in a situation where
Speaker 2: if I don't keep my name and give it to
Speaker 2: my children, which is the plan, like I'll have baby
Speaker 2: divines his bloodline I suppose dies out, And that's obviously
Speaker 2: quite quote traditional and definitely not why I'm picking it.
Speaker 2: But I just love the idea of that name not
Speaker 2: dying and being able to honor a family that I
Speaker 2: absolutely love and adore. And you know, having spoken to
Speaker 2: Steve and flipping the narrative and going, well, what would
Speaker 2: happen if I took your name? Like there are lots
Speaker 2: of baby Morrison's floating around at the moment, and to
Speaker 2: us we're like, oh, well that makes sense. So yeah,
Speaker 2: I'll stay Divine and our babies will be divine, which
Speaker 2: is kind of cool.
Speaker 1: Love that he you very good. I'm going to a
Speaker 1: break before we are talk too much about Victoria's wedding
Speaker 1: instead of weddings in general. Alrighty VD, Now let's dive
Speaker 1: straight into a little chat about family and social pressures
Speaker 1: as they relate to wedding. Gosh, there are so many,
Speaker 1: so many you're going through it. It's insanct, it's insane.
Speaker 1: Let's not talk about my personal experience. Let's talk about Zola. So.
Speaker 1: Zola is a wedding website, and they recently surveyed five
Speaker 1: hundred engaged or newlywed couples, and they found out that
Speaker 1: ninety six percent of them are freaking out about wedding
Speaker 1: planning ninety six percent. Ninety six percent same. I'm in
Speaker 1: that ninety six percent. Seventy one percent thought it was
Speaker 1: a more nerve wracking job than any other major life
Speaker 1: event like finding a new job. Fifty three percent of
Speaker 1: couples said that their parents are the biggest stress causing culprits.
Speaker 1: I am very happy to say that that is not
Speaker 1: the case in our situation, and thirty three percent said
Speaker 1: it was their in laws. Again, not the same in
Speaker 1: our situation. I mean, Steve might think is my parents,
Speaker 1: but he hasn't articulated that is the case at any point.
Speaker 1: So it's a life transition for everybody involved, obviously, And
Speaker 1: with life transitions comes an identity shift and a sense
Speaker 1: of loss for who you were before, which I think
Speaker 1: is another thing and another reason why G I just
Speaker 1: don't want to change my name. I'm already changing so
Speaker 1: much about my life. It's just not for mej. Meanwhile,
Speaker 1: all of this happens when everybody's eyes are directly on you.
Speaker 1: You're spending loads of money, and you're expected to be
Speaker 1: the happiest you've ever been or whatever will be. And
Speaker 1: the culmination of all of these circumstances honestly makes wedding
Speaker 1: planning incredibly stressful, and it exasperates an already estranged financially
Speaker 1: dynamic if it exists, it creates hurt feelings and conflict,
Speaker 1: and I just feel like too many people put too
Speaker 1: much pressure on weddings.
Speaker 2: I'm now going to say something that is extremely spy stable. No,
Speaker 2: it's not spicy, it's probably it's what everyone would expect
Speaker 2: me to say at this point, And that is how
Speaker 2: much we think social media plays into this whole thing massively.
Speaker 1: I thought you were actually going to say something about
Speaker 1: your personal values and really upholding that. So like, good
Speaker 1: job being you know, not too predictable, good saucy minx
Speaker 1: you good but it's true, right like, and I feel that.
Speaker 1: And if I'm feeling that, I know every other bride
Speaker 1: is feeling that, or every other person who is planning
Speaker 1: a wedding. Like you see on social media all of
Speaker 1: these fancy dresses and you see all of these people
Speaker 1: getting married in beautiful locations, and you see, you know,
Speaker 1: these gorgeous photos and expensive videographers, and you compare yourself
Speaker 1: to that and you go wow, like, maybe that's the goal.
Speaker 1: But often if you're seeing big weddings blowing up on
Speaker 1: social media, it's because they've got enough funding for that.
Speaker 1: It's because they either are social media influences. It might
Speaker 1: have things gifted that they haven't you know, maybe acknowledged.
Speaker 1: I know a lot of brides recently, if they are
Speaker 1: in that social media space, I've been gifted their dresses.
Speaker 1: And when you go, oh, gee, like I would love
Speaker 1: that dress, and you go to inquire, the dresses are
Speaker 1: twenty plus thousand dollars. I'm not saying that any of
Speaker 1: these things you shouldn't spend money on, because I'm very
Speaker 1: much a believer that if it's in line with your
Speaker 1: values and you've made the right decision for you.
Speaker 2: You do you.
Speaker 1: But there is a lot of pressure floating around, and
Speaker 1: if I'm feeling it, I know everybody else is feeling
Speaker 1: and it's just a lot. G it is a lot.
Speaker 2: I'm obviously super skeptical and cynical about social media, but
Speaker 2: seeing like the same photo with the same love cutout
Speaker 2: in a field, black and white photos you hugging each
Speaker 2: other in a hayfield, I don't know.
Speaker 1: I find it a bit cringe. But I'm also an asshole.
Speaker 1: So if you could just get me to get in
Speaker 1: my emails later and cancel the big lov either I'm
Speaker 1: going to have at my wedding, that would be great.
Speaker 2: It's beautiful, but people are very drawn to what other
Speaker 2: people are doing exactly a very pinterest worthy right, like,
Speaker 2: and every single wedding that you go on Pinterest and
Speaker 2: see it doesn't mean that you have to have that wedding.
Speaker 1: And I mean I'm in the very privileged position where
Speaker 1: I've actually been to a lot of weddings I used
Speaker 1: to work at weddings way back in the day when
Speaker 1: I was a waitress, and I also have been invited
Speaker 1: to a lot of special people's weddings, and to be honest,
Speaker 1: all of them are incredible. All of them have been
Speaker 1: very different, all of them have different budgets associated with them.
Speaker 1: But I can't can't say, oh, my god, the bigger,
Speaker 1: the better. Like I think my favorite wedding that I've
Speaker 1: been to that really like I think I was crying
Speaker 1: half the time, was when a couple of my friends
Speaker 1: got married and there was like a total of thirty
Speaker 1: of us. It's just like so sweet and it was
Speaker 1: so personal and it was within their home, and I
Speaker 1: just felt like that was the most special wedding I've
Speaker 1: ever been to. Not to downplay all of the weddings
Speaker 1: that I've been to of all of my other friends
Speaker 1: who I know what we're listening so this is an
Speaker 1: awkward episode, but I just I don't think that a
Speaker 1: wedding needs to be this big, massive, you know, hullabaloo
Speaker 1: in saying that, gee, my wedding's getting out of hand.
Speaker 1: My partner is a soccer nut, and you know, part
Speaker 1: of the soccer team is like on the committee and stuff.
Speaker 1: So basically everybody at the soccer club will be at
Speaker 1: our wedding, and it just it's blown out of proportion.
Speaker 1: But that's okay because it's really in line with his values.
Speaker 1: And every time I say to Steve, what do you want,
Speaker 1: He's like a party, I want a big part. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's okay, no problems, whereas I'm trying to it's the
Speaker 1: fact that I just want really good food.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, okay, social media aside, Sorry for that little
Speaker 2: ten No.
Speaker 1: I think it's important because we need to talk about
Speaker 1: these things because I think a lot of people will
Speaker 1: be like, oh, I listened to this episode because I
Speaker 1: hoped that genv would tell me what is an appropriate
Speaker 1: budget to spend on a wedding, Like, weddings are no
Speaker 1: less valid if you just went to the registry and
Speaker 1: decided to get married, or if you had like a
Speaker 1: five hundred person meg our wedding, Like, they're all just
Speaker 1: as beautiful and it should be about you and the
Speaker 1: person that you're marrying, not about you know how big
Speaker 1: your wedding.
Speaker 2: Is exactly, And I feel like that is sometimes what
Speaker 2: gets forgotten amongst all of this is that it's a
Speaker 2: celebration of two people coming together to start a life.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and it really upsets me that so many people
Speaker 1: put so much pressure on themselves to have these big
Speaker 1: weddings and thus compromising their future financial goals. Like I
Speaker 1: don't want you to start a marriage in debt because
Speaker 1: you were getting married, Like, debt is the number one
Speaker 1: thing people fight over in relationships, So it just feels
Speaker 1: really silly go into debt for a wedding. And I
Speaker 1: think that's the number one thing that I you know,
Speaker 1: being really personal at the moment, that's the number one
Speaker 1: thing Steve and I have said, like we've said a budget.
Speaker 1: I want to pay for everything in cash. I'm trying
Speaker 1: to pay for things. You know, we're getting married in November,
Speaker 1: but I've been trying to pay for things along the
Speaker 1: way because I also don't want the amount of money
Speaker 1: owing to add up because I think so many times
Speaker 1: I keep getting invoices and stuff, right because I'm booking
Speaker 1: a photographer or I you know, have finally found a
Speaker 1: gorgeous celebrant and they'll send through an invoice and be like,
Speaker 1: all right, it's twenty percent to like lock in this venue,
Speaker 1: and I'll be like, okay, that's fine, But then I'm like,
Speaker 1: when is arrest you and they're like, oh, the week
Speaker 1: before the wedding, and I'm like, oh my god, Like,
Speaker 1: if I left everything to the week before the wedding,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna have so much money that's owing. And I
Speaker 1: don't want to be stressed about money the week before
Speaker 1: the wedding. And obviously there's probably a lot to say
Speaker 1: about not paying a photographer until you locked it in
Speaker 1: and all of that other stuff, but like, I just
Speaker 1: want these costs out of the way, So I've really
Speaker 1: been trying to spread them out over a period of
Speaker 1: time time and you know, pick up a few things
Speaker 1: here and there, and you know, I really want to
Speaker 1: love hot sunglasses for all of our bridesmaids to have
Speaker 1: on the day, and just like really laying things that
Speaker 1: I know I can purchase now and put to the
Speaker 1: side so that it doesn't feel like a really expensive
Speaker 1: week the week before the wedding because I've forgotten about
Speaker 1: all those things. Yeah, I don't know. It's just a lot.
Speaker 2: That leads perfectly now into talking about budgeting the what
Speaker 2: are your top tips in this space?
Speaker 1: Set a realistic budget, and for me personally, that has
Speaker 1: just crept up and up and up. And it's not
Speaker 1: because I keep going, oh my god, I want to
Speaker 1: spend more. It's just I forget that things need to happen.
Speaker 1: It's that I didn't know that there were certain costs.
Speaker 1: Like this is going to be a very entitled comment,
Speaker 1: but I didn't realize that chairs weren't included when you
Speaker 1: hired a venue, and that if you want nice ceremony chairs,
Speaker 1: they don't just pull them out of the back. You
Speaker 1: have to hire them. That seems fascical. I didn't know
Speaker 1: that was a thing, right, And that's total fair and fine,
Speaker 1: And some people listening are probably gonna be like, the
Speaker 1: how did you not know that? I just didn't know that,
Speaker 1: And that's fine, and that's added, you know, money to
Speaker 1: our budget, and things are creeping up, not because I
Speaker 1: keep choosing more expensive things, but because I just didn't know.
Speaker 1: So I've been keeping a very detailed spreadsheet, as should you,
Speaker 1: and I'll drop mine later in the year once I
Speaker 1: feel like I have got it tweaked to perfection and
Speaker 1: also included everything that I spent money on because I
Speaker 1: feel like I feel like that's what I needed. I
Speaker 1: didn't just need to go and download a random budget template,
Speaker 1: like I needed someone to go, oh, this was this
Speaker 1: and this was that, and you know, I want to
Speaker 1: buy two pairs of shoes at least George, because I
Speaker 1: know that I want a beautiful pair of heels, but
Speaker 1: I also know I want something flat and really pretty
Speaker 1: to dance in, Like that needs to be in the budget.
Speaker 1: And I just didn't think about adding shoes to the
Speaker 1: budget because like, in my head, the most important thing
Speaker 1: was actually the dress, but it really needs to come
Speaker 1: into play, so obviously budgeting, but then think about everything
Speaker 1: else that gets forgotten. We had an engagement party that
Speaker 1: needed to be a part of the wedding budget. I
Speaker 1: don't want to pretend that's not a thing. The hens,
Speaker 1: the bucks, if that's going to cost you money, wedding
Speaker 1: party gifts, thank you gifts for people. I just so
Speaker 1: many of these things are adding up and I'm trying
Speaker 1: to think of them as they go. But even the
Speaker 1: gift I'm going to give my bridesmaids when I officially
Speaker 1: because I still haven't, God forbid, asked my bridesmaids to
Speaker 1: officially be my bridesmaids. Like I want to put together
Speaker 1: a little gift for them, and that's just spiraling out
Speaker 1: of control, and very quickly that's become more than fifty
Speaker 1: dollars each, And I'm like, what, like this is crazy,
Speaker 1: like and in the moment, you're like, oh, it's fifty dollars,
Speaker 1: it's not that much, But then you go, how many
Speaker 1: just fifty dollars are happening on this wedding? Like this
Speaker 1: is just so much. It's such a hullaballoo in my opinion.
Speaker 2: So I'm assuming, then, VI, you are going to say
Speaker 2: that having emergency backup funds is really important.
Speaker 1: Yes, when planning away one hundred percent, And I think
Speaker 1: that adding in a buffer of maybe between ten and
Speaker 1: fifteen percent for everything that you spend and just popping
Speaker 1: it to the side as kind of like a wedding
Speaker 1: emergency account, is not going to be the worst thing,
Speaker 1: because either you'll need to rely on it, or you'll
Speaker 1: be in the sick position where you just got married
Speaker 1: and you didn't have to rely on it. And that
Speaker 1: can be either some more savings or your actual emergency fund,
Speaker 1: or go towards a honeymoon or something that you want
Speaker 1: to spend money on. I also have a few hot takes.
Speaker 1: Alterations can be really expensive. I didn't realize. I thought,
Speaker 1: you know, I've had a couple of pairs of pants
Speaker 1: taking out before g twenty bucks here and there. Right, No,
Speaker 1: it's hundreds of dollars to have your wedding dress altered. Really, yes,
Speaker 1: and most.
Speaker 2: People need to do that, like when you get your
Speaker 2: dress fitted. Sometimes when you buy your dress directly from
Speaker 2: the store, they'll be like, no, all of your fittings
Speaker 2: are included, like in the cost because it's a few
Speaker 2: thousand dollars. But if you're like me, George King, and
Speaker 2: you went on steel White dot com dot are you
Speaker 2: and bought a second hand wedding dress because you just
Speaker 2: can't comprehend how expensive dresses are, you then realize that
Speaker 2: alteration on top of that are literally hundreds of dollars
Speaker 2: because you need to find an independent third party who's
Speaker 2: willing to work on a relatively customized Yeah, dressed it,
Speaker 2: which I totally get, but I hadn't comprehended, Like, I
Speaker 2: just hadn't thought about that. And then correct invitation postage
Speaker 2: postage dollar per envelope, so we've done digital save the dates.
Speaker 2: And then I really wanted the stationery to go out
Speaker 2: because I don't know. I just have this thing about
Speaker 2: getting letters in the mail. I love it, and I
Speaker 2: love the experience of getting it, and I wanted everybody
Speaker 2: else to have that. But that has added up really quickly,
Speaker 2: Like we are at a total guest limit of I
Speaker 2: think it's about one hundred and forty now, So that's
Speaker 2: one hundred and forty bucks just on stamps. We haven't
Speaker 2: even got to the wedding stationery yet, and that adds up.
Speaker 2: Then what happens if there's bad weather. So we have
Speaker 2: been informed that if there is bad weather, we're going
Speaker 2: to need to hire a marquee for the venue that
Speaker 2: we're at.
Speaker 1: And doing some googling, that's not a couple of hundred dollars,
Speaker 1: that's a few thousand dollars, anywhere between three and seven
Speaker 1: thousand dollars, depending on the marquee that we pick. Bridal
Speaker 1: transportation separate to the bride and groom gonna cost you
Speaker 1: some money as well. Thankfully, we don't need any transportation.
Speaker 1: We're just gonna be in the one position. Do you
Speaker 1: know what anyone needs? A car? My parents both have cars, yeah,
Speaker 1: and be great. The other thing I kept forgetting to
Speaker 1: do is factor yourself in to the overall HEADCOUMP. So
Speaker 1: for really long time, I was like one hundred and
Speaker 1: thirty eight. Steem's like, hey, a couple more people. There's
Speaker 1: two people are going to be at that wedding for sure, Yeah,
Speaker 1: and they're not on the guest list right now, so
Speaker 1: we needed to do that event lighting. What extra lighting
Speaker 1: so that like the dance floor is lit up properly,
Speaker 1: Like insane didn't know that was a thing. Vendor meals
Speaker 1: in overtime if they are needed. So in all of
Speaker 1: the contracts that I am getting through for the videographers,
Speaker 1: for the photographers, for our you know, celebrant who were
Speaker 1: actually getting to be the MC as well, meals one
Speaker 1: of them needs accommodation because of their travel, like all
Speaker 1: of that needs to be paid for by us, which
Speaker 1: I'm so fine with, but these are things I had
Speaker 1: no idea existed. And then post reception transportation, so thankfully
Speaker 1: I'm just going to stay at the venue that I'm
Speaker 1: going to be getting married, so no need to leave.
Speaker 1: I was like one of the reasons I picked it
Speaker 1: because I was like, eh, I can just roll on
Speaker 1: upstairs after eating all of the good wedding food, Heaven,
Speaker 1: laughing at all the people who were like, Hahaha, I
Speaker 1: didn't eat at my wedding. That's all I'm going to do.
Speaker 1: I promise, that's all I'm gonna do.
Speaker 2: Ke, Sure you do, sis, because people pass out at
Speaker 2: eight if they don't eat, eg, my cousin.
Speaker 1: But transportation after for the bride and groom to get
Speaker 1: wherever they need to go, even if it's just ubers.
Speaker 1: You need to take these things into consideration, like things
Speaker 1: are creeping up. But honestly, if I had been more planned,
Speaker 1: completely unavoidable, like I could have avoided all of this.
Speaker 1: But I also didn't know where to find that spread
Speaker 1: geet or that template. So I'm just making it myself
Speaker 1: and I will share it with all of you guys
Speaker 1: once I think I've just got it right, brilliant.
Speaker 2: We'll look forward to that, do you recking? That'll be
Speaker 2: on like the website or social beyond the website. Okay, amazing,
Speaker 2: But did you know on.
Speaker 1: The website we literally have a whole section of free downloadables.
Speaker 1: I mean I did, yes you did, but like lots
Speaker 1: of people don't. But we literally have a free budget,
Speaker 1: We have free ebooks, we have all of those saving
Speaker 1: charts that you might have seen on social media like
Speaker 1: go and have a look at that, because it's free
Speaker 1: stuff and it's all free.
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Speaker 2: make an investment or a financial decision or wedding. Yeah,
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