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Speaker 1: Just before we get started, we'd like to acknowledge and

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Speaker 1: pay respect to Australia's Aboriginal and torrest Right Islander people's.

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Speaker 1: They're the traditional custodians of the lands, the waterways and

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Speaker 1: the skies all across Australia. We thank you for sharing

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Speaker 1: and for caring for the land on which we are

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Speaker 1: able to learn. We pay respects to elders past and present,

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Speaker 1: and we share our friendship and our kindness.

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Speaker 2: She's on the Money. She's on the Money.

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Speaker 3: Hello, and welcome to She's on the Money, the podcast

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Speaker 3: for millennials who want financial freedom. Joining me as per

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Speaker 3: is a woman who is actually in the thick of

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Speaker 3: today's episode topic, but we'll get to that later.

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Speaker 1: It is, of course, Victoria Divine. Hello, Hello.

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Speaker 3: Now, today we are going to be giving you some

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Speaker 3: of the history and context around weddings, which is cold,

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Speaker 3: weird stuff, some weird and strange stuff.

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Speaker 1: It's not just an episode on budgeting for a wedding,

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Speaker 1: like we're also going to talk about the sassy Queen Victoria.

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Speaker 1: We're going to talk about why maybe we're white to weddings,

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Speaker 1: like we need to know all of the gory details

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Speaker 1: because some of these things, and some of these work

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Speaker 1: traditions as I'm learning and not that good. They make

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Speaker 1: no sense. They make me uncomfortable. But don't be fooled.

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Speaker 3: We will also be talking about the counter budget for

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Speaker 3: your wedding because we're about exactly right.

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Speaker 1: Got to keep the people happy.

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Speaker 3: To kick us off VD, I'm going to rattle off

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Speaker 3: some stats and figures.

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Speaker 1: Go stats, gal, go how big is.

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Speaker 3: The wedding industry in Australia, you might ask yourself asking

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Speaker 3: In a normal year, Australia's wedding industry contributes four point

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Speaker 3: three billion dollars to the economy, with one hundred and

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Speaker 3: ten thousand marriages going ahead each and every year.

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Speaker 1: I'm going to be one of those this year, bless you.

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Speaker 1: There's a lot of weddings. That is a lot. I'm

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Speaker 1: not going to have that many weddings.

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Speaker 3: I'll just have one that just the one can cook

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Speaker 3: a cool Next up, Most Australian couples opt for wedding

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Speaker 3: dates either in March or October, with March being the

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Speaker 3: slightly more popular month.

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Speaker 1: In twenty twenty one, I'm getting married in neither of

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Speaker 1: those months. Interesting, you don't fit them. Mold there.

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Speaker 3: Lastly, for Australian couples, weddings are mostly an expensive affair,

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Speaker 3: with costs actually increasing yearly, and I would say unsurprisingly

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Speaker 3: Victoria and New South Wales are both among the priciest

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Speaker 3: states in the country for weddings.

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Speaker 1: We need to move states. I'm moving anywhere, but if

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Speaker 1: I've got a choice, I think I'll choose Perth. They

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Speaker 1: have quackers, and you know how much I love a Quaker.

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Speaker 1: But moving on, Let's get into some numbers and how

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Speaker 1: much this will actually cost, because I guess that's all

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Speaker 1: I bring to the table really when it comes to

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Speaker 1: the she and she's on the money, like I'm the

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Speaker 1: money part, George is the fun part. Let's actually look

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Speaker 1: at what states pay the most for weddings. So here

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Speaker 1: in Victoria, do you know what we win? We win

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Speaker 1: for having the highest for a wedding dress. Do you

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Speaker 1: know the average wedding dress here in Victoria costs two

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Speaker 1: six hundred and seventy five dollars. Good lord, that's a lot.

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Speaker 1: Wait for it. I haven't even got a quote for

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Speaker 1: this yet, so I'm terrified wedding here and makeup nine

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Speaker 1: hundred and seventy five dollars. Oh lord, I will be

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Speaker 1: doing my own if someone quotes me to have my

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Speaker 1: makeup done for nine hundred and seventy five dollars to

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Speaker 1: do it for you. Yeah, all right, that's five hundred. Okay,

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Speaker 1: not so good. I would four five hundred dollars at

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Speaker 1: least expect someone to own makeup. I've got Misscara. Do

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Speaker 1: I also have to Bayo? Yes, all right. Bridesmaid's dress.

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Speaker 1: I'm shocked because I don't know about you, but I'm

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Speaker 1: planning a wedding Georgia King. I'm looking at all the

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Speaker 1: standard bridesmaid's dresses and like there may be between like

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Speaker 1: one and three hundred dollars. Maybe the average in Victoria

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Speaker 1: is six hundred and eighty seven dollars drickon. That means

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Speaker 1: for one or for like multiple for modular dripp Obviously,

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Speaker 1: this study did not give us the information. That's all right, regardless,

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Speaker 1: that's a lot of money. A celebrant is eight hundred

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Speaker 1: and ninety eight dollars here in Victoria. To be honest,

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Speaker 1: I feel like that's pretty good. Like you're asking someone

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Speaker 1: to come out, usually on a Saturday, and spend some

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Speaker 1: time with you while you get married. Probably what you

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Speaker 1: should be paying guests. Well, yeah, that is true. Instead

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Speaker 1: they have to pay to be there. Reception go fourteen thousand,

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Speaker 1: seven hundred and ten dollars, So.

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Speaker 3: That's the bit where you're drinking the shampoos. See that's

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Speaker 3: what I thought. But then they also broke it down

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Speaker 3: as a caterer being five thousand, seven hundred and sixty

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Speaker 3: one dollars. But because I've been getting quotes and stuff,

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Speaker 3: I can tell you that that wedding reception probably does

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Speaker 3: include the food. It might not include the alcohol at

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Speaker 3: fourteen thousand dollars, but it would usually include the food.

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Speaker 3: Because what I'm finding just anecdotal evidence, is that usually

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Speaker 3: venues are charging anywhere between like one hundred and fifty

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Speaker 3: to maybe two hundred fifty dollars per head for a wedding,

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Speaker 3: including food and alcohol for the reception, and times that

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Speaker 3: by how many What would be the average number of

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Speaker 3: attendees at.

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Speaker 1: Eighty Apparently according to all of the you know, wedding

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Speaker 1: people I'm talking to, they're saying, look, look, eighty is

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Speaker 1: pretty standard. It's not too small, it's not too big.

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Speaker 1: That takes you up to twelve thousand dollars in like

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Speaker 1: food and beverage costs Immediately, if you have eighty people

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Speaker 1: at one hundred and fifty dollars per head not cheap,

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Speaker 1: that's a lot of money. But then you add on

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Speaker 1: everything else and you can see why the average wedding

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Speaker 1: ends up being more than thirty thousand dollars. Because you've

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Speaker 1: got your hair, you've got your makeup, you've got your

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Speaker 1: bridesmaid's dress. You haven't even thought about the groom in

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Speaker 1: this list exactly what we haven't even got a photographer,

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Speaker 1: a videographer, which I've recently learned is that must have,

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Speaker 1: like what these things are all so expensive? And I

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Speaker 1: will definitely be doing an episode after I get married

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Speaker 1: of all the stuff that I bought that I regret. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: that's a really good one hundred percent because I guarantee

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Speaker 1: it's gonna be a long episode. But moving on from

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Speaker 1: you know, slamming Victoria, New South Wales is the most

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Speaker 1: expensive for flowers, so on average, people are spending two

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Speaker 1: one hundred and eighty eight dollars on flowers, Hikay, A

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Speaker 1: photographer on average is three thousand, six hundred and forty

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Speaker 1: six dollars and cake cake. I'm not having a cake

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Speaker 1: at this point in time. I'm currently negotiating with my

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Speaker 1: mother about this. Yeah, but cake five hundred and ninety

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Speaker 1: three dollars?

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Speaker 3: Wow?

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Speaker 1: Do you reckon? I could just get through Cole's mud

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Speaker 1: cakes and smash them together on the top, would you

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Speaker 1: do it in the shape of Jess could do it

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Speaker 1: for me? Yeah? Of course, honestly, Yeah, in smarties on

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Speaker 1: the top. Ye. I'm gonna argue with someone because Cole's

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Speaker 1: Mudcake is elite and that ain't gonna cost you five

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Speaker 1: hundred ninety three dollars. Do you know? Tazzy gets to

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Speaker 1: play this as well, which I didn't think they would

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Speaker 1: be the most expensive for something, but a dj A

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Speaker 1: band in Tazzy is the most expensive, coming in at

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Speaker 1: two three hundred and ninety nine dollars on average. There

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Speaker 1: you go. Maybe it's because there are less creatives there,

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Speaker 1: or get this, the creatives actually value themselves properly.

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Speaker 3: Well, yes, and we all should, shouldn't we V For

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Speaker 3: anyone who doesn't know a little bit of a background

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Speaker 3: to hear, V is getting married in November and I'm

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Speaker 3: probably never getting married. I'm You're coming to the wedding.

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Speaker 3: Your connection, that's that's my connection to weddings Now, we're

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Speaker 3: going to move into that weird space that we alluded

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Speaker 3: to before VD. We're getting historical. We're talking about the

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Speaker 3: history of weddings and the premise of marriage, which is

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Speaker 3: mostly heteronormative, so we will flank that as well. And

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Speaker 3: it's also quite unrheumatic, which may surprise some people. So

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Speaker 3: the best available evidence suggests that marriage is about four thousand,

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Speaker 3: three hundred and fifty years old. Great, thank you for

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Speaker 3: thousands of years before that. Most anthropologists believe families actually

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Speaker 3: consisted of loosely organized groups of as many as thirty

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Speaker 3: people with several male leaders. Of course, the multiple women

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Speaker 3: we're in those families shared by those men and also

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Speaker 3: some children thrown who.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, that gives me the ick, not because it's not

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Speaker 1: you know, if you want to do that, you do.

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Speaker 1: You Like, Polyamorous relationships exist, and that's totally a valid

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Speaker 1: form of having a relationship, but it's the premise that

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Speaker 1: it's just like led by men and then the women

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Speaker 1: are shared like ill.

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Speaker 3: Well, that's what it all stems back to. Though it's interesting.

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Speaker 3: The first recorded evidence of marriage ceremonies uniting one woman

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Speaker 3: and one man dates back from about twenty three hundred

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Speaker 3: and fifty b c. To ages Go in Mesopotamia. But

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Speaker 3: back then marriage had little to do with love or religion.

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Speaker 1: Women were just tradable resources and well yeah, man.

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Speaker 3: Marriage's primary purpose was to bind women to men and

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Speaker 3: guarantee that a man's children were then truly.

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Speaker 1: His biological heirs.

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Speaker 3: What through marriage a woman becomes a man's property. In

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Speaker 3: the betrothal ceremony of ancient Greek, a father would hand

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Speaker 3: over his daughter with these words, Okay, brace.

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Speaker 1: Yourself, I pledge.

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Speaker 3: I pledge my daughter for the purpose of producing legitimate offspring.

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Speaker 3: Among the ancient Hebrews, men were free to take several wives.

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Speaker 3: Married Greeks and Romans were free to satisfy their sexual

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Speaker 3: urges with concubines, prostitutes, and even teenage male lovers, while

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Speaker 3: their wives were required to stay home and tend to

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Speaker 3: the household.

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Speaker 1: If wives failed to produce.

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Speaker 3: Offspring, their husbands could give them back and marry someone else.

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Speaker 1: You could give your wife fat. I'm surprised it wasn't

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Speaker 1: like you can stone them to death and then I

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Speaker 1: don't know. He probably needed to do some more research.

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Speaker 1: I'm absolutely certain that there would have been some kind

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Speaker 1: of quote punishment. Huh I reckon.

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Speaker 3: But as religion became big in Europe, the blessing of

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Speaker 3: a priest became a necessary step in the process. Obviously, apparently,

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Speaker 3: bringing God into marriage meant men were taught how to

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Speaker 3: show greater respect for their wives.

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Speaker 1: It forbade them from divorcing them. Yeah, good, that's obviously

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Speaker 1: really important. We love.

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Speaker 3: Christian doctrine also declared that the twain shall be one

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Speaker 3: flesh poetic, giving husband and wife exclusive access to each

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Speaker 3: other's bodies.

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Speaker 1: This put new pressure.

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Speaker 3: On men to remain sexually faithful, but the Church still

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Speaker 3: held that men were the head of families, with their

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Speaker 3: wives deferring to their wishes. Gross Moving on. Love is

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Speaker 3: also relatively recent in marriage two, with the Middle Ages

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Speaker 3: seeing the first documentation of love over practicalities.

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Speaker 1: Weighing in our marriage. I love that good.

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Speaker 3: And finally, flash way forward to the ninth of December

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Speaker 3: twenty seventeen, when the right to marry in Australia was

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Speaker 3: no longer determined by sex or gender. When Australians freakin

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Speaker 3: finally voted for marriage equality via a postal survey ten.

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Speaker 1: Out of ten from us. That's just a brief little

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Speaker 1: history of I think it's very interesting. I feel like

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Speaker 1: there's so many different reasons why we did things and

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Speaker 1: do things, but it's not that often that we actually

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Speaker 1: question them. And this whole marriage process for me has

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Speaker 1: been a lot of questioning, like why do we do that?

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Speaker 1: Why do we have a cake? Why do I have

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Speaker 1: to be walked down the aisle by somebody else? Like

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Speaker 1: why would we get married in a church which we're not?

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Speaker 1: Why would we do all of these different things? I

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Speaker 1: keep googling things like why should I carry a bouquet

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Speaker 1: down the aisle? That? Like why am I carrying that?

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Speaker 1: Do you know why? Georgia? Because people didn't used to

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Speaker 1: bathe and they would smell, so they carried flowers. Interesting cute,

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Speaker 1: So I missed stinky bride if I carry flowers. I

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Speaker 1: don't what any stinky bride or shower I promise on

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Speaker 1: my wedding day, of all, I can't promise any other day.

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Speaker 1: But I'm sure it's held in confirm that on my

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Speaker 1: wedding day or have a shower at least once. It

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Speaker 1: is all quite strange, isn't it. That is definitely all

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Speaker 1: quite a time, And I will shower on my wedding day.

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Speaker 1: But let's talk about some of the things that are

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Speaker 1: generally regarded as wedding staples. Like, let's get into it, Jack,

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Speaker 1: Did you know that the og Obviously Queen Victoria herself,

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Speaker 1: she chose to wear white because it was the perfect

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Speaker 1: color for her to flex the delicacy of the lace

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Speaker 1: that was on her gown. That's why she chose white.

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Speaker 1: And then she asked nobody else other than the bridesmaids

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Speaker 1: to wear white on that day because she wanted to

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Speaker 1: be the center of attention, because she's Victoria after all.

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Speaker 1: And until that point, most women actually wore bright and

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Speaker 1: colorful dresses that could be recycled through different occasions, because obviously,

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Speaker 1: dresses used to be so much more expensive before Queen Victoria,

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Speaker 1: women who wore white on their wedding day did it

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Speaker 1: to show how rich they were, because obviously they could

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Speaker 1: show that they could keep their stuff clean, which was

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Speaker 1: definitely not you know, the norm of the time. See,

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Speaker 1: I thought it was a symbol of like your virginity. No,

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Speaker 1: it's because Queen Victoria wore white, and then that became

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Speaker 1: quite trendy. Up until then, we just wore whatever we want,

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Speaker 1: and then bride'smaids speaking of them, they weren't allowed to

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Speaker 1: wear white. Spoiler, I think I want my bridesmaids to

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Speaker 1: wear white, just to shake that up. But bridesmaids in

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Speaker 1: ancient Rome, it was believed that bad spirits would descend

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Speaker 1: upon the wedding, so bridesmaids actually ended up wearing similar

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Speaker 1: outfits to the bride to confound to the evil doers.

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Speaker 1: Seems legit. It is such a agit, right, And in

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Speaker 1: many cultures throughout history, brides presented their grooms with a

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Speaker 1: dowry of money, furniture, and other riches, which made them

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Speaker 1: targets for robbers and their evil exes. And again, bridesmaids

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Speaker 1: actually served as quote decoys so that the bandits wouldn't

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Speaker 1: know who the actual bride was and who'd ever rob

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Speaker 1: what I know? Also, you know, I probably should mention

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Speaker 1: the idea of being given away and a dowry and

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Speaker 1: all of that makes me wildly are uncomfortable. But yeah,

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Speaker 1: I won't be given away. Are you taking Steve's last night?

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Speaker 1: I'm not? Is that okay? That's what I thought you

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Speaker 1: would say.

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Speaker 3: But if you were Victoria Deviron from Shees on the Money, Yeah,

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Speaker 3: if you were just in the quotation marks a financial advisor. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: with no like media career, would you have taken his name?

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Speaker 3: I've never wanted to take somebody else's name. I've always

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Speaker 3: felt really connected to my own name. Maybe there's like

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Speaker 3: a lot of reasons and we can get into it

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Speaker 3: very deeply one day over a couple of wines. But

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Speaker 3: ever since I was little, I have wanted to keep

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Speaker 3: my surname Divine because my dad's actually the only boy

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Speaker 3: left in his family, and he's in a situation where

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Speaker 3: if I don't keep my name and give it to

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Speaker 3: my children, which is the plan, like I'll have baby

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Speaker 3: divines his bloodline I suppose dies out, And that's obviously

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Speaker 3: quite quote traditional and definitely not why I'm picking it.

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Speaker 3: But I just love the idea of that name not

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Speaker 3: dying and being able to honor a family that I

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Speaker 3: absolutely love and adore. And you know, having spoken to

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Speaker 3: Steve and flipping the narrative and going, well, what would

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Speaker 3: happen if I took your name? Like there are lots

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Speaker 3: of baby Morrison's floating around at the moment, and to

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Speaker 3: us we're like, oh, well that makes sense. So yeah,

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Speaker 3: I'll stay Divine and our babies will be divine, which

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Speaker 3: is kind of cool.

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Speaker 1: Love that he you very good. I'll go to a

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Speaker 1: break before we are talk too much about Victoria's wedding

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Speaker 1: instead of weddings in general. Alrighty VD, Now let's dive

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Speaker 1: straight into a little chat about family and social pressures

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Speaker 1: as they relate to wedding. Gosh, there are so many,

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Speaker 1: so many you're going through it. It's insanct, it's insane.

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Speaker 1: Let's not talk about my personal experience. Let's talk about Zola. So.

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Speaker 1: Zola is a wedding website, and they recently surveyed five

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Speaker 1: hundred engaged or newlywed couples, and they found out that

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Speaker 1: ninety six percent of them are freaking out about wedding

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Speaker 1: planning ninety six percent. Ninety six percent same. I'm in

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Speaker 1: that ninety six percent. Seventy one percent thought it was

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Speaker 1: a more nerve wracking job than any other major life

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Speaker 1: event like finding a new job. Fifty three percent of

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Speaker 1: couples said that their parents are the biggest stress causing culprits.

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Speaker 1: I am very happy to say that that is not

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Speaker 1: the case in our situation, and thirty three percent said

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Speaker 1: it was their in laws. Again, not the same in

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Speaker 1: our situation. I mean, Steve might think is my parents,

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Speaker 1: but he hasn't articulated that is the case at any point.

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Speaker 1: So it's a life transition for everybody involved, obviously, And

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Speaker 1: with life transitions comes an identity shift and a sense

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Speaker 1: of loss for who you were before, which I think

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Speaker 1: is another thing and another reason why G I just

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Speaker 1: don't want to change my name. I'm already changing so

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Speaker 1: much about my life. It's just not for mej. Meanwhile,

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Speaker 1: all of this happens when everybody's eyes are directly on you.

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Speaker 1: You're spending loads of money, and you're expected to be

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Speaker 1: the happiest you've ever been or whatever will be. And

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Speaker 1: the culmination of all of these circumstances honestly makes wedding

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Speaker 1: planning incredibly stressful, and it exasperates an already estranged financially

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Speaker 1: dynamic if it exists, it creates hurt feelings and conflict,

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Speaker 1: and I just feel like too many people put too

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Speaker 1: much pressure on weddings.

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Speaker 3: I'm now going to say something that is extremely spy stable. No,

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Speaker 3: it's not spicy, it's probably it's what everyone would expect

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Speaker 3: me to say at this point, And that is how

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Speaker 3: much we think social media plays into this whole thing massively.

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Speaker 1: I thought you were actually going to say something about

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Speaker 1: your personal values and really upholding that. So like, good

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Speaker 1: job being you know, not too predictable, good saucy minx

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Speaker 1: you good but it's true, right like, and I feel that.

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Speaker 1: And if I'm feeling that, I know every other bride

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Speaker 1: is feeling that, or every other person who is planning

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Speaker 1: a wedding. Like you see on social media all of

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Speaker 1: these fancy dresses and you see all of these people

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Speaker 1: getting married in beautiful locations, and you see, you know,

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Speaker 1: these gorgeous photos and expensive videographers, and you compare yourself

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Speaker 1: to that and you go wow, like, maybe that's the goal.

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Speaker 1: But often if you're seeing big weddings blowing up on

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Speaker 1: social media, it's because they've got enough funding for that.

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Speaker 1: It's because they either are social media influences. It might

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Speaker 1: have things gifted that they haven't you know, maybe acknowledged.

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Speaker 1: I know a lot of brides recently, if they are

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Speaker 1: in that social media space, I've been gifted their dresses.

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Speaker 1: And when you go, oh, gee, like I would love

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Speaker 1: that dress, and you go to inquire, the dresses are

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Speaker 1: twenty plus thousand dollars. I'm not saying that any of

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Speaker 1: these things you shouldn't spend money on, because I'm very

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Speaker 1: much a believer that if it's in line with your

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Speaker 1: values and you've made the right decision for you.

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Speaker 3: You do you.

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Speaker 1: But there is a lot of pressure floating around, and

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Speaker 1: if I'm feeling it, I know everybody else is feeling

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Speaker 1: and it's just a lot. G it is a lot.

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Speaker 3: I'm obviously super skeptical and cynical about social media, but

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Speaker 3: seeing like the same photo with the same love cutout

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Speaker 3: in a field, black and white photos you hugging each

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Speaker 3: other in a hayfield, I don't know.

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Speaker 1: I find it a bit cringe. But I'm also an asshole.

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Speaker 1: So if you could just get me to get in

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Speaker 1: my emails later and cancel the big lov either I'm

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Speaker 1: going to have at my wedding, that would be great.

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Speaker 3: It's beautiful, but people are very drawn to what other

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Speaker 3: people are doing exactly a very pinterest worthy right, like,

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Speaker 3: and every single wedding that you go on Pinterest and

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Speaker 3: see it doesn't mean that you have to have that wedding.

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Speaker 1: And I mean I'm in the very privileged position where

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Speaker 1: I've actually been to a lot of weddings I used

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Speaker 1: to work at weddings way back in the day when

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Speaker 1: I was a waitress, and I also have been invited

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Speaker 1: to a lot of special people's weddings, and to be honest,

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Speaker 1: all of them are incredible. All of them have been

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Speaker 1: very different, all of them have different budgets associated with them.

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Speaker 1: But I can't can't say, oh, my god, the bigger,

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Speaker 1: the better. Like I think my favorite wedding that I've

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Speaker 1: been to that really like I think I was crying

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Speaker 1: half the time, was when a couple of my friends

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Speaker 1: got married and there was like a total of thirty

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Speaker 1: of us. It's just like so sweet and it was

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Speaker 1: so personal and it was within their home, and I

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Speaker 1: just felt like that was the most special wedding I've

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Speaker 1: ever been to. Not to downplay all of the weddings

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Speaker 1: that I've been to of all of my other friends

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Speaker 1: who I know what we're listening so this is an

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Speaker 1: awkward episode, but I just I don't think that a

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Speaker 1: wedding needs to be this big, massive, you know, hullabaloo

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Speaker 1: in saying that, gee, my wedding's getting out of hand.

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Speaker 1: My partner is a soccer nut, and you know, part

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Speaker 1: of the soccer team is like on the committee and stuff.

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Speaker 1: So basically everybody at the soccer club will be at

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Speaker 1: our wedding, and it just it's blown out of proportion.

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Speaker 1: But that's okay because it's really in line with his values.

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Speaker 1: And every time I say to Steve, what do you want,

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Speaker 1: He's like a party, I want a big part. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: it's okay, no problems, whereas I'm trying to it's the

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Speaker 1: fact that I just want really good food.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, okay, social media aside, Sorry for that little

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Speaker 3: ten No.

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Speaker 1: I think it's important because we need to talk about

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Speaker 1: these things because I think a lot of people will

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Speaker 1: be like, oh, I listened to this episode because I

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Speaker 1: hoped that genv would tell me what is an appropriate

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Speaker 1: budget to spend on a wedding, Like, weddings are no

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Speaker 1: less valid if you just went to the registry and

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Speaker 1: decided to get married, or if you had like a

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Speaker 1: five hundred person meg our wedding, Like, they're all just

404
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Speaker 1: as beautiful and it should be about you and the

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Speaker 1: person that you're marrying, not about you know how big

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Speaker 1: your wedding.

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Speaker 3: Is exactly, And I feel like that is sometimes what

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Speaker 3: gets forgotten amongst all of this is that it's a

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Speaker 3: celebration of two people coming together to start a life.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, and it really upsets me that so many people

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Speaker 1: put so much pressure on themselves to have these big

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Speaker 1: weddings and thus compromising their future financial goals. Like I

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Speaker 1: don't want you to start a marriage in debt because

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Speaker 1: you were getting married, Like, debt is the number one

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Speaker 1: thing people fight over in relationships, So it just feels

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Speaker 1: really silly go into debt for a wedding. And I

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Speaker 1: think that's the number one thing that I you know,

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Speaker 1: being really personal at the moment, that's the number one

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Speaker 1: thing Steve and I have said, like we've said a budget.

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Speaker 1: I want to pay for everything in cash. I'm trying

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Speaker 1: to pay for things. You know, we're getting married in November,

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Speaker 1: but I've been trying to pay for things along the

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Speaker 1: way because I also don't want the amount of money

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Speaker 1: owing to add up because I think so many times

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Speaker 1: I keep getting invoices and stuff, right because I'm booking

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Speaker 1: a photographer or I you know, have finally found a

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Speaker 1: gorgeous celebrant and they'll send through an invoice and be like,

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Speaker 1: all right, it's twenty percent to like lock in this venue,

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Speaker 1: and I'll be like, okay, that's fine, But then I'm like,

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Speaker 1: when is arrest you and they're like, oh, the week

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Speaker 1: before the wedding, and I'm like, oh my god, Like,

432
00:21:40,200 --> 00:21:43,000
Speaker 1: if I left everything to the week before the wedding,

433
00:21:43,040 --> 00:21:46,480
Speaker 1: I'm gonna have so much money that's owing. And I

434
00:21:46,520 --> 00:21:48,359
Speaker 1: don't want to be stressed about money the week before

435
00:21:48,359 --> 00:21:50,520
Speaker 1: the wedding. And obviously there's probably a lot to say

436
00:21:50,520 --> 00:21:52,880
Speaker 1: about not paying a photographer until you locked it in

437
00:21:52,920 --> 00:21:55,000
Speaker 1: and all of that other stuff, but like, I just

438
00:21:55,040 --> 00:21:57,400
Speaker 1: want these costs out of the way, So I've really

439
00:21:57,440 --> 00:21:59,720
Speaker 1: been trying to spread them out over a period of

440
00:21:59,800 --> 00:22:02,119
Speaker 1: time time and you know, pick up a few things

441
00:22:02,160 --> 00:22:04,520
Speaker 1: here and there, and you know, I really want to

442
00:22:04,560 --> 00:22:08,199
Speaker 1: love hot sunglasses for all of our bridesmaids to have

443
00:22:08,240 --> 00:22:10,520
Speaker 1: on the day, and just like really laying things that

444
00:22:10,600 --> 00:22:12,960
Speaker 1: I know I can purchase now and put to the

445
00:22:13,080 --> 00:22:15,960
Speaker 1: side so that it doesn't feel like a really expensive

446
00:22:16,000 --> 00:22:18,200
Speaker 1: week the week before the wedding because I've forgotten about

447
00:22:18,200 --> 00:22:20,919
Speaker 1: all those things. Yeah, I don't know. It's just a lot.

448
00:22:20,800 --> 00:22:24,720
Speaker 3: That leads perfectly now into talking about budgeting the what

449
00:22:24,800 --> 00:22:26,800
Speaker 3: are your top tips in this space?

450
00:22:27,680 --> 00:22:31,120
Speaker 1: Set a realistic budget, and for me personally, that has

451
00:22:31,280 --> 00:22:33,879
Speaker 1: just crept up and up and up. And it's not

452
00:22:34,040 --> 00:22:35,840
Speaker 1: because I keep going, oh my god, I want to

453
00:22:35,880 --> 00:22:39,399
Speaker 1: spend more. It's just I forget that things need to happen.

454
00:22:39,560 --> 00:22:42,680
Speaker 1: It's that I didn't know that there were certain costs.

455
00:22:42,800 --> 00:22:45,439
Speaker 1: Like this is going to be a very entitled comment,

456
00:22:45,560 --> 00:22:49,199
Speaker 1: but I didn't realize that chairs weren't included when you

457
00:22:49,280 --> 00:22:53,040
Speaker 1: hired a venue, and that if you want nice ceremony chairs,

458
00:22:53,080 --> 00:22:54,679
Speaker 1: they don't just pull them out of the back. You

459
00:22:54,760 --> 00:22:58,439
Speaker 1: have to hire them. That seems fascical. I didn't know

460
00:22:58,480 --> 00:23:00,879
Speaker 1: that was a thing, right, And that's total fair and fine,

461
00:23:00,880 --> 00:23:02,760
Speaker 1: And some people listening are probably gonna be like, the

462
00:23:02,960 --> 00:23:04,960
Speaker 1: how did you not know that? I just didn't know that,

463
00:23:05,160 --> 00:23:07,879
Speaker 1: And that's fine, and that's added, you know, money to

464
00:23:08,000 --> 00:23:10,679
Speaker 1: our budget, and things are creeping up, not because I

465
00:23:10,800 --> 00:23:15,199
Speaker 1: keep choosing more expensive things, but because I just didn't know.

466
00:23:15,840 --> 00:23:19,240
Speaker 1: So I've been keeping a very detailed spreadsheet, as should you,

467
00:23:19,359 --> 00:23:21,720
Speaker 1: and I'll drop mine later in the year once I

468
00:23:21,800 --> 00:23:24,600
Speaker 1: feel like I have got it tweaked to perfection and

469
00:23:24,720 --> 00:23:27,399
Speaker 1: also included everything that I spent money on because I

470
00:23:27,440 --> 00:23:30,040
Speaker 1: feel like I feel like that's what I needed. I

471
00:23:30,080 --> 00:23:32,720
Speaker 1: didn't just need to go and download a random budget template,

472
00:23:32,840 --> 00:23:34,960
Speaker 1: like I needed someone to go, oh, this was this

473
00:23:35,119 --> 00:23:37,159
Speaker 1: and this was that, and you know, I want to

474
00:23:37,200 --> 00:23:40,320
Speaker 1: buy two pairs of shoes at least George, because I

475
00:23:40,400 --> 00:23:42,119
Speaker 1: know that I want a beautiful pair of heels, but

476
00:23:42,160 --> 00:23:44,520
Speaker 1: I also know I want something flat and really pretty

477
00:23:44,560 --> 00:23:47,479
Speaker 1: to dance in, Like that needs to be in the budget.

478
00:23:47,480 --> 00:23:50,199
Speaker 1: And I just didn't think about adding shoes to the

479
00:23:50,200 --> 00:23:52,880
Speaker 1: budget because like, in my head, the most important thing

480
00:23:53,200 --> 00:23:55,360
Speaker 1: was actually the dress, but it really needs to come

481
00:23:55,359 --> 00:23:58,800
Speaker 1: into play, so obviously budgeting, but then think about everything

482
00:23:58,800 --> 00:24:02,000
Speaker 1: else that gets forgotten. We had an engagement party that

483
00:24:02,080 --> 00:24:04,399
Speaker 1: needed to be a part of the wedding budget. I

484
00:24:04,400 --> 00:24:07,199
Speaker 1: don't want to pretend that's not a thing. The hens,

485
00:24:07,320 --> 00:24:10,240
Speaker 1: the bucks, if that's going to cost you money, wedding

486
00:24:10,320 --> 00:24:13,720
Speaker 1: party gifts, thank you gifts for people. I just so

487
00:24:13,880 --> 00:24:15,960
Speaker 1: many of these things are adding up and I'm trying

488
00:24:16,000 --> 00:24:18,359
Speaker 1: to think of them as they go. But even the

489
00:24:18,359 --> 00:24:20,600
Speaker 1: gift I'm going to give my bridesmaids when I officially

490
00:24:20,600 --> 00:24:23,919
Speaker 1: because I still haven't, God forbid, asked my bridesmaids to

491
00:24:23,960 --> 00:24:27,680
Speaker 1: officially be my bridesmaids. Like I want to put together

492
00:24:27,720 --> 00:24:30,640
Speaker 1: a little gift for them, and that's just spiraling out

493
00:24:30,680 --> 00:24:33,320
Speaker 1: of control, and very quickly that's become more than fifty

494
00:24:33,359 --> 00:24:35,719
Speaker 1: dollars each, And I'm like, what, like this is crazy,

495
00:24:36,200 --> 00:24:38,560
Speaker 1: like and in the moment, you're like, oh, it's fifty dollars,

496
00:24:38,600 --> 00:24:41,359
Speaker 1: it's not that much, But then you go, how many

497
00:24:41,640 --> 00:24:44,440
Speaker 1: just fifty dollars are happening on this wedding? Like this

498
00:24:44,480 --> 00:24:47,240
Speaker 1: is just so much. It's such a hullaballoo in my opinion.

499
00:24:48,000 --> 00:24:50,520
Speaker 3: So I'm assuming, then, VI, you are going to say

500
00:24:50,560 --> 00:24:54,160
Speaker 3: that having emergency backup funds is really important.

501
00:24:54,320 --> 00:24:57,000
Speaker 1: Yes, when planning away one hundred percent, And I think

502
00:24:57,080 --> 00:25:00,840
Speaker 1: that adding in a buffer of maybe between ten and

503
00:25:00,960 --> 00:25:04,520
Speaker 1: fifteen percent for everything that you spend and just popping

504
00:25:04,560 --> 00:25:06,760
Speaker 1: it to the side as kind of like a wedding

505
00:25:06,800 --> 00:25:09,040
Speaker 1: emergency account, is not going to be the worst thing,

506
00:25:09,240 --> 00:25:12,400
Speaker 1: because either you'll need to rely on it, or you'll

507
00:25:12,440 --> 00:25:14,560
Speaker 1: be in the sick position where you just got married

508
00:25:14,560 --> 00:25:16,080
Speaker 1: and you didn't have to rely on it. And that

509
00:25:16,119 --> 00:25:19,240
Speaker 1: can be either some more savings or your actual emergency fund,

510
00:25:19,320 --> 00:25:21,440
Speaker 1: or go towards a honeymoon or something that you want

511
00:25:21,480 --> 00:25:25,119
Speaker 1: to spend money on. I also have a few hot takes.

512
00:25:25,600 --> 00:25:29,840
Speaker 1: Alterations can be really expensive. I didn't realize. I thought,

513
00:25:30,040 --> 00:25:31,840
Speaker 1: you know, I've had a couple of pairs of pants

514
00:25:31,880 --> 00:25:34,439
Speaker 1: taking out before g twenty bucks here and there. Right, No,

515
00:25:34,560 --> 00:25:37,119
Speaker 1: it's hundreds of dollars to have your wedding dress altered.

516
00:25:37,280 --> 00:25:40,040
Speaker 3: Really, yes, and most people need to do that, like

517
00:25:40,080 --> 00:25:41,600
Speaker 3: when you get your dress fitted.

518
00:25:41,960 --> 00:25:44,359
Speaker 1: Sometimes when you buy your dress directly from the store,

519
00:25:44,400 --> 00:25:46,520
Speaker 1: they'll be like, no, all of your fittings are included,

520
00:25:46,640 --> 00:25:48,800
Speaker 1: like in the cost because it's a few thousand dollars.

521
00:25:49,080 --> 00:25:51,160
Speaker 1: But if you're like me, George King, and you went

522
00:25:51,200 --> 00:25:53,080
Speaker 1: on steel White dot com dot are you and bought

523
00:25:53,119 --> 00:25:56,159
Speaker 1: a second hand wedding dress because you just can't comprehend

524
00:25:56,280 --> 00:26:00,399
Speaker 1: how expensive dresses are, you then realize that alteration on

525
00:26:00,440 --> 00:26:03,280
Speaker 1: top of that are literally hundreds of dollars because you

526
00:26:03,359 --> 00:26:05,840
Speaker 1: need to find an independent third party who's willing to

527
00:26:05,920 --> 00:26:10,720
Speaker 1: work on a relatively customized Yeah, dressed it, which I

528
00:26:10,800 --> 00:26:14,480
Speaker 1: totally get, but I hadn't comprehended, Like, I just hadn't

529
00:26:14,520 --> 00:26:19,200
Speaker 1: thought about that. And then correct invitation postage postage dollar

530
00:26:19,240 --> 00:26:23,600
Speaker 1: per envelope, so we've done digital save the dates. And

531
00:26:23,640 --> 00:26:26,160
Speaker 1: then I really wanted the stationery to go out because

532
00:26:26,400 --> 00:26:28,280
Speaker 1: I don't know. I just have this thing about getting

533
00:26:28,320 --> 00:26:30,600
Speaker 1: letters in the mail. I love it, and I love

534
00:26:30,640 --> 00:26:32,960
Speaker 1: the experience of getting it, and I wanted everybody else

535
00:26:33,040 --> 00:26:35,720
Speaker 1: to have that. But that has added up really quickly,

536
00:26:35,920 --> 00:26:38,760
Speaker 1: Like we are at a total guest limit of I

537
00:26:38,800 --> 00:26:40,720
Speaker 1: think it's about one hundred and forty now, So that's

538
00:26:40,720 --> 00:26:43,240
Speaker 1: one hundred and forty bucks just on stamps. We haven't

539
00:26:43,280 --> 00:26:46,160
Speaker 1: even got to the wedding stationery yet, and that adds up.

540
00:26:46,600 --> 00:26:49,119
Speaker 1: Then what happens if there's bad weather. So we have

541
00:26:49,240 --> 00:26:51,560
Speaker 1: been informed that if there is bad weather, we're going

542
00:26:51,560 --> 00:26:53,639
Speaker 1: to need to hire a marquee for the venue that

543
00:26:53,640 --> 00:26:57,359
Speaker 1: we're at. And doing some googling, that's not a couple

544
00:26:57,359 --> 00:27:01,080
Speaker 1: of hundred dollars, that's a few thousand dollars, anywhere between

545
00:27:01,200 --> 00:27:03,719
Speaker 1: three and seven thousand dollars, depending on the marquee that

546
00:27:03,760 --> 00:27:08,080
Speaker 1: we pick. Bridal transportation separate to the bride and groom

547
00:27:08,119 --> 00:27:10,720
Speaker 1: gonna cost you some money as well. Thankfully, we don't

548
00:27:10,720 --> 00:27:13,959
Speaker 1: need any transportation. We're just gonna be in the one position.

549
00:27:14,040 --> 00:27:16,200
Speaker 1: Do you know what anyone needs? A car? My parents

550
00:27:16,240 --> 00:27:19,000
Speaker 1: both have cars, yeah, and be great. The other thing

551
00:27:19,040 --> 00:27:22,280
Speaker 1: I kept forgetting to do is factor yourself in to

552
00:27:22,640 --> 00:27:25,040
Speaker 1: the overall HEADCOUMP. So for really long time, I was

553
00:27:25,080 --> 00:27:27,800
Speaker 1: like one hundred and thirty eight. Steeve's like, hey, a

554
00:27:27,840 --> 00:27:30,359
Speaker 1: couple more people. There's two people are going to be

555
00:27:30,400 --> 00:27:32,600
Speaker 1: at that wedding for sure, Yeah, and they're not on

556
00:27:32,640 --> 00:27:34,960
Speaker 1: the guest list right now, so we needed to do

557
00:27:35,080 --> 00:27:39,480
Speaker 1: that event lighting. What extra lighting so that like the

558
00:27:39,560 --> 00:27:43,440
Speaker 1: dance floor is lit up properly, Like insane didn't know

559
00:27:43,600 --> 00:27:46,440
Speaker 1: that was a thing. Vendor meals in overtime if they

560
00:27:46,480 --> 00:27:49,800
Speaker 1: are needed. So in all of the contracts that I

561
00:27:49,840 --> 00:27:53,320
Speaker 1: am getting through for the videographers, for the photographers, for

562
00:27:53,600 --> 00:27:56,159
Speaker 1: our you know, celebrant who were actually getting to be

563
00:27:56,240 --> 00:27:59,919
Speaker 1: the MC as well, meals one of them needs accommodation

564
00:28:00,160 --> 00:28:02,520
Speaker 1: because of their travel, like all of that needs to

565
00:28:02,520 --> 00:28:05,600
Speaker 1: be paid for by us, which I'm so fine with,

566
00:28:05,720 --> 00:28:08,600
Speaker 1: but these are things I had no idea existed. And

567
00:28:08,640 --> 00:28:12,119
Speaker 1: then post reception transportation, so thankfully I'm just going to

568
00:28:12,160 --> 00:28:14,560
Speaker 1: stay at the venue that I'm going to be getting married,

569
00:28:14,680 --> 00:28:17,199
Speaker 1: so no need to leave. I was like one of

570
00:28:17,200 --> 00:28:19,280
Speaker 1: the reasons I picked it because I was like, eh,

571
00:28:19,320 --> 00:28:21,679
Speaker 1: I can just roll on upstairs after eating all of

572
00:28:21,720 --> 00:28:24,320
Speaker 1: the good wedding food heaven, laughing at all the people

573
00:28:24,320 --> 00:28:26,639
Speaker 1: who were like, hahha, I didn't eat at my wedding.

574
00:28:27,040 --> 00:28:29,800
Speaker 1: That's all I'm going to do. I promise, that's all

575
00:28:29,840 --> 00:28:32,200
Speaker 1: I'm gonna do. Ke, Sure you do, sis, because people

576
00:28:32,280 --> 00:28:35,240
Speaker 1: pass out at eight if they don't eat, eg, my cousin.

577
00:28:36,840 --> 00:28:39,360
Speaker 1: But transportation after for the bride and groom to get

578
00:28:39,360 --> 00:28:41,800
Speaker 1: wherever they need to go, even if it's just ubers.

579
00:28:41,840 --> 00:28:45,000
Speaker 1: You need to take these things into consideration, like things

580
00:28:45,120 --> 00:28:47,960
Speaker 1: are creeping up. But honestly, if I had been more planned,

581
00:28:48,040 --> 00:28:51,320
Speaker 1: completely unavoidable, like I could have avoided all of this.

582
00:28:51,560 --> 00:28:53,800
Speaker 1: But I also didn't know where to find that spread

583
00:28:53,840 --> 00:28:56,120
Speaker 1: geet or that template. So I'm just making it myself

584
00:28:56,160 --> 00:28:57,600
Speaker 1: and I will share it with all of you guys

585
00:28:57,720 --> 00:28:59,800
Speaker 1: once I think I've just got it right, brilliant.

586
00:29:00,040 --> 00:29:01,480
Speaker 3: We'll look forward to that, do you recking? That'll be

587
00:29:01,520 --> 00:29:05,000
Speaker 3: on like the website or social beyond the website. Okay, amazing,

588
00:29:05,080 --> 00:29:05,880
Speaker 3: But did you know on.

589
00:29:05,840 --> 00:29:08,560
Speaker 1: The website we literally have a whole section of free downloadables.

590
00:29:08,640 --> 00:29:10,680
Speaker 1: I mean I did, Yeah you did, but like lots

591
00:29:10,720 --> 00:29:13,200
Speaker 1: of people don't. But we literally have a free budget,

592
00:29:13,200 --> 00:29:15,640
Speaker 1: We have free ebooks, we have all of those saving

593
00:29:15,800 --> 00:29:18,320
Speaker 1: charts that you might have seen on social media, like

594
00:29:18,480 --> 00:29:20,240
Speaker 1: go and have a look at that, because it's free

595
00:29:20,240 --> 00:29:21,520
Speaker 1: stuff and it's all free.

596
00:29:21,640 --> 00:29:25,480
Speaker 3: Make the most win anyway, money win. Indeed, let's put

597
00:29:25,480 --> 00:29:28,560
Speaker 3: a pin in it there. The advice shed on She's

598
00:29:28,600 --> 00:29:30,840
Speaker 3: of the Buddy is general in nature and does not

599
00:29:31,040 --> 00:29:35,160
Speaker 3: consider your individual circumstances. She's on the Money exists purely

600
00:29:35,240 --> 00:29:38,040
Speaker 3: for educational purposes and should not be relied upon to

601
00:29:38,040 --> 00:29:40,960
Speaker 3: make an investment or a financial decision or wedding. Yeah,

602
00:29:41,000 --> 00:29:44,120
Speaker 3: exactly right, and we promise Victoria Devine and She's on

603
00:29:44,160 --> 00:29:48,360
Speaker 3: the Money are authorized representatives of in Focused Securities Australia

604
00:29:48,600 --> 00:29:52,120
Speaker 3: Proprietary Limited ABN four seven zero nine seven seven nine

605
00:29:52,160 --> 00:29:55,160
Speaker 3: seven zero four nine AFSL two three six five two

606
00:29:55,200 --> 00:30:01,440
Speaker 3: three See Friday Guys, Bye, look at

607
00:30:02,960 --> 00:30:03,000
Speaker 1: He