1 00:00:00,400 --> 00:00:04,600 Speaker 1: The Rising Conquer Podcast acknowledges the traditional custodians of the 2 00:00:04,680 --> 00:00:08,320 Speaker 1: land which this episode is being recorded, the yugen Bear region. 3 00:00:08,920 --> 00:00:13,320 Speaker 1: We further acknowledge country throughout Australia and their connections to land, 4 00:00:13,520 --> 00:00:16,840 Speaker 1: sea and community. We pay our respect to their elders 5 00:00:16,960 --> 00:00:20,919 Speaker 1: past and present and extend that respect to all Aboriginal 6 00:00:20,960 --> 00:00:34,159 Speaker 1: and terrestrid Islander peoples today. Hello and welcome back to 7 00:00:34,200 --> 00:00:35,880 Speaker 1: the Rise and Conquer Podcasts. 8 00:00:36,240 --> 00:00:38,520 Speaker 2: This is the podcast for ordinary. 9 00:00:38,080 --> 00:00:47,480 Speaker 1: People who want to do extraordinary things. 10 00:00:50,520 --> 00:00:53,440 Speaker 2: Hello and welcome back to the podcast. 11 00:00:54,120 --> 00:00:57,680 Speaker 1: This is the first episode of Georgie's Hotline. These are 12 00:00:57,720 --> 00:01:01,400 Speaker 1: our fun Friday epps where you in your life dilemmas 13 00:01:01,800 --> 00:01:05,959 Speaker 1: and I provide my unqualified two cents to the situation. 14 00:01:06,640 --> 00:01:10,280 Speaker 1: We have got three juicy questions today. All right, guys, 15 00:01:10,360 --> 00:01:14,440 Speaker 1: So today's question. We are chatting about an overbearing mother 16 00:01:14,520 --> 00:01:18,520 Speaker 1: in law, if a break is the right decision in 17 00:01:18,560 --> 00:01:24,000 Speaker 1: a relationship, and how you can constantly want more but 18 00:01:24,200 --> 00:01:27,319 Speaker 1: still be grateful for what you have and what that 19 00:01:27,360 --> 00:01:30,480 Speaker 1: looks like. These questions are juicy and I cannot wait 20 00:01:30,520 --> 00:01:33,200 Speaker 1: to get into it. But first I'm going to give 21 00:01:33,200 --> 00:01:36,600 Speaker 1: you a little Georgie's recommendation of the week. So I 22 00:01:36,640 --> 00:01:41,160 Speaker 1: have just started reading the book by James Clear, Atomic Habits. 23 00:01:41,600 --> 00:01:43,560 Speaker 1: I feel like I've seen this book everywhere on TikTok 24 00:01:43,600 --> 00:01:47,680 Speaker 1: and like life, so I'm super slow to this trend, 25 00:01:48,200 --> 00:01:50,960 Speaker 1: but it is great. So it's all about just like 26 00:01:51,440 --> 00:01:56,240 Speaker 1: utilizing your time habits routine. You know, I'm a routine gal, 27 00:01:56,480 --> 00:01:58,680 Speaker 1: I'm a routine mum, so of course I'm. 28 00:01:58,520 --> 00:01:59,480 Speaker 2: Going to like this book. 29 00:01:59,520 --> 00:02:01,240 Speaker 1: And I love that he puts a lot of like 30 00:02:01,920 --> 00:02:07,400 Speaker 1: science and experiments and just like some really interesting sort 31 00:02:07,440 --> 00:02:10,360 Speaker 1: of stories to go with it. So that's definitely my 32 00:02:11,240 --> 00:02:16,799 Speaker 1: book recommendation to you guys. Also, I haven't finished it yet, 33 00:02:16,840 --> 00:02:20,200 Speaker 1: but I'm just started the new season of Selling Sunset. 34 00:02:20,760 --> 00:02:23,560 Speaker 1: Big fan of Selling Sunset, just because it's like, I 35 00:02:23,600 --> 00:02:26,000 Speaker 1: don't know, it's a really good like trash TV, Like 36 00:02:26,040 --> 00:02:30,760 Speaker 1: it's brain it is brain numbing, but it's just a 37 00:02:30,800 --> 00:02:33,360 Speaker 1: bit of fun. And I just I love property and 38 00:02:33,400 --> 00:02:36,800 Speaker 1: I love single the gorgeous houses and the drama's a 39 00:02:36,800 --> 00:02:41,520 Speaker 1: bit crazy honestly, but yeah, that's what that's my two 40 00:02:41,600 --> 00:02:45,000 Speaker 1: little recommendations for the week. I'm actually yet to finish 41 00:02:45,160 --> 00:02:49,520 Speaker 1: Selling Sunset because Ivy has not been She just has 42 00:02:49,560 --> 00:02:51,720 Speaker 1: not been gone to bed. She's just decided she wants 43 00:02:51,800 --> 00:02:55,000 Speaker 1: to stay up and party with mom and dad most nights. 44 00:02:55,000 --> 00:02:58,119 Speaker 1: So I'll probably get only about twenty minutes in. Ever, 45 00:02:58,400 --> 00:03:00,920 Speaker 1: so I'm yet to finish the sea or like even 46 00:03:00,960 --> 00:03:03,920 Speaker 1: an episode, but hopefully I can actually finish it and 47 00:03:03,960 --> 00:03:05,840 Speaker 1: tell you if it was worth it. But so far, 48 00:03:06,200 --> 00:03:09,359 Speaker 1: so good and honestly trash TV like it doesn't really matter, 49 00:03:09,440 --> 00:03:12,360 Speaker 1: does it. And also, I just want to say a 50 00:03:12,600 --> 00:03:16,680 Speaker 1: big thank you for so much love, support and excitement 51 00:03:16,800 --> 00:03:20,720 Speaker 1: on our first official episode back. It's really great to 52 00:03:20,720 --> 00:03:23,080 Speaker 1: be back in your ears. I'm so happy you guys, 53 00:03:23,080 --> 00:03:27,040 Speaker 1: love the new branding. And I do apologize once again 54 00:03:27,080 --> 00:03:29,959 Speaker 1: for the urps. You can blame a Tear. 55 00:03:29,880 --> 00:03:32,600 Speaker 2: For that because she made me do the sprite challenge. 56 00:03:34,520 --> 00:03:36,800 Speaker 1: I feel like that's just like we're gonna have to 57 00:03:37,440 --> 00:03:39,920 Speaker 1: have a little snippet of my burps and all episodes 58 00:03:39,920 --> 00:03:41,600 Speaker 1: now because it's like a thing. 59 00:03:43,360 --> 00:03:53,640 Speaker 3: All right, guys, let's get into the episode. 60 00:03:54,080 --> 00:03:56,920 Speaker 1: All right, guys, let's get into the first question. So 61 00:03:57,120 --> 00:04:01,640 Speaker 1: I'm going to get a tear to re out the DM. 62 00:04:01,760 --> 00:04:02,720 Speaker 2: What have we got a tear? 63 00:04:03,320 --> 00:04:07,080 Speaker 4: This one's quite a good one. It is a live 64 00:04:07,280 --> 00:04:10,720 Speaker 4: question I need help with, how the hell do I 65 00:04:10,800 --> 00:04:13,720 Speaker 4: respectfully said boundaries with my mother in law when it 66 00:04:13,720 --> 00:04:16,640 Speaker 4: comes to my five month old baby. I had a 67 00:04:16,680 --> 00:04:19,719 Speaker 4: great relationship with my mother in law, but since having 68 00:04:19,760 --> 00:04:23,719 Speaker 4: my baby, she's gone a bit nuts, including accidentally calling 69 00:04:23,760 --> 00:04:28,839 Speaker 4: herself mummy to him. This has happened on multiple occasions. 70 00:04:29,320 --> 00:04:32,160 Speaker 4: I have a supportive partner who is willing to express 71 00:04:32,200 --> 00:04:35,200 Speaker 4: our boundaries, but I'm scared of how she will feel 72 00:04:35,680 --> 00:04:37,919 Speaker 4: help a sleep deprived mama out. 73 00:04:38,640 --> 00:04:43,800 Speaker 1: I the like, the part of the DM that just 74 00:04:43,839 --> 00:04:48,680 Speaker 1: gets me is accidentally calling herself mummy to him, Like 75 00:04:48,760 --> 00:04:52,720 Speaker 1: that's just so I don't know, like it would be 76 00:04:52,800 --> 00:04:56,800 Speaker 1: funny if it was you know, once, but she's like 77 00:04:57,000 --> 00:05:01,040 Speaker 1: on multiple occasions. Okay, wow, right, let's get into it. 78 00:05:01,360 --> 00:05:04,600 Speaker 1: So this is obviously super relevant to me because I've 79 00:05:04,720 --> 00:05:07,440 Speaker 1: literally got a five month old two. I do have 80 00:05:07,480 --> 00:05:09,760 Speaker 1: a couple of questions though, because, like what I want 81 00:05:09,800 --> 00:05:13,159 Speaker 1: to know at the end, she goes help a sleep 82 00:05:13,240 --> 00:05:17,159 Speaker 1: deprived mama out, So obviously baby is not sleeping, you know, 83 00:05:17,279 --> 00:05:20,160 Speaker 1: she's doing all the things, and so I want to 84 00:05:20,200 --> 00:05:23,600 Speaker 1: be like, is the mother in law really helping her out? 85 00:05:24,520 --> 00:05:27,719 Speaker 1: Or is it just you know, she pops over every 86 00:05:27,839 --> 00:05:31,640 Speaker 1: now and again, because the first thing I'm thinking is like, 87 00:05:31,760 --> 00:05:33,479 Speaker 1: you don't want to piss off the mother in law 88 00:05:33,560 --> 00:05:34,880 Speaker 1: if it's a lot of help. 89 00:05:35,080 --> 00:05:39,920 Speaker 2: Does that make sense? Yes, But I don't know. I 90 00:05:40,600 --> 00:05:42,000 Speaker 2: think it's a hard one. 91 00:05:42,600 --> 00:05:47,160 Speaker 1: I'm going I'm going between two things here because I 92 00:05:47,200 --> 00:05:51,080 Speaker 1: love that she said my partner is very supportive. So 93 00:05:51,200 --> 00:05:55,960 Speaker 1: I'm almost like he maybe needs to speak to her 94 00:05:56,000 --> 00:06:00,040 Speaker 1: because it's, you know, his mom. And I've got so 95 00:06:00,440 --> 00:06:04,280 Speaker 1: like a similar story where well it's not similar, but. 96 00:06:05,160 --> 00:06:06,400 Speaker 2: I kind of can understand it. 97 00:06:06,480 --> 00:06:09,360 Speaker 1: So before Ivy was born, I actually have a mom 98 00:06:09,520 --> 00:06:13,480 Speaker 1: who she's the best mom. She is like the ultimate 99 00:06:13,800 --> 00:06:16,919 Speaker 1: maternal mother and she's like we call it like the 100 00:06:16,960 --> 00:06:21,280 Speaker 1: baby Whisperer. And so I have three older brothers, four kids, 101 00:06:21,920 --> 00:06:24,520 Speaker 1: and you know, she was a stay at home mom 102 00:06:24,720 --> 00:06:28,479 Speaker 1: our whole life. And she cooked and clean, she did 103 00:06:28,480 --> 00:06:30,960 Speaker 1: my dad's business like she was just like she could 104 00:06:30,960 --> 00:06:34,640 Speaker 1: do it all. So maternal, so loving and just like 105 00:06:34,839 --> 00:06:40,440 Speaker 1: so sweet and loves babies. And so when I obviously 106 00:06:40,600 --> 00:06:43,360 Speaker 1: got pregnant, she just was like, oh my god, best 107 00:06:43,440 --> 00:06:46,440 Speaker 1: day of my life. So my older brothers all have 108 00:06:46,680 --> 00:06:49,960 Speaker 1: you know, babies, but it's obviously just being a little 109 00:06:50,000 --> 00:06:52,920 Speaker 1: bit different. I'm her baby, her baby's having a baby, 110 00:06:52,960 --> 00:06:53,560 Speaker 1: and she was. 111 00:06:53,560 --> 00:06:54,680 Speaker 2: Just so excited. 112 00:06:55,200 --> 00:07:00,120 Speaker 1: And I remember kind of having this conversation with mom 113 00:06:59,800 --> 00:07:03,839 Speaker 1: and just saying, I know you're the baby whisper. I 114 00:07:03,880 --> 00:07:06,839 Speaker 1: know you've had four kids and you would know so 115 00:07:07,040 --> 00:07:09,520 Speaker 1: many things, and you know you're so good at kids. 116 00:07:09,520 --> 00:07:13,560 Speaker 1: But also remember this is my first baby, and I've 117 00:07:13,560 --> 00:07:16,200 Speaker 1: got to make my own mistakes and I've got to 118 00:07:16,280 --> 00:07:18,680 Speaker 1: kind of learn, and I've got to be able to 119 00:07:18,840 --> 00:07:22,680 Speaker 1: be the mom because I think sometimes moms they mother 120 00:07:23,200 --> 00:07:26,440 Speaker 1: so they can just be a bit overbearing. And I 121 00:07:26,640 --> 00:07:29,320 Speaker 1: kind of had you know, maybe that would happen. So 122 00:07:29,600 --> 00:07:33,600 Speaker 1: I actually had that conversation before Ivy was born, and 123 00:07:33,640 --> 00:07:36,160 Speaker 1: then like since Ivy has been born, my mom like 124 00:07:36,400 --> 00:07:38,960 Speaker 1: was amazing, Like I never felt like she was overbearing 125 00:07:39,000 --> 00:07:40,920 Speaker 1: or anything like that, but I kind of like set 126 00:07:41,000 --> 00:07:44,440 Speaker 1: that boundary at the start, and I think the words 127 00:07:44,480 --> 00:07:46,640 Speaker 1: I kind of said to her is like I want 128 00:07:46,680 --> 00:07:48,360 Speaker 1: you to be there and I want you to be 129 00:07:48,440 --> 00:07:51,400 Speaker 1: supportive and that sort of thing. 130 00:07:51,480 --> 00:07:53,680 Speaker 2: But it's only if I ask. 131 00:07:53,840 --> 00:07:55,760 Speaker 1: I don't want you to kind of come in and 132 00:07:55,800 --> 00:07:57,680 Speaker 1: be like do things this way, and you need to 133 00:07:57,680 --> 00:07:58,280 Speaker 1: try this and. 134 00:07:58,200 --> 00:07:59,200 Speaker 2: Blah blah blah. 135 00:07:59,400 --> 00:08:02,720 Speaker 1: If I'm wanting help and asking for help, definitely like, 136 00:08:02,800 --> 00:08:04,760 Speaker 1: you know, come in, but otherwise kind of let me 137 00:08:04,840 --> 00:08:09,120 Speaker 1: figure it out. And yeah, we haven't had any issues, 138 00:08:09,280 --> 00:08:11,360 Speaker 1: you know since Ivy is born. If anything, I'm like, 139 00:08:12,200 --> 00:08:17,240 Speaker 1: come look after Ivy more so my kind of thinking. 140 00:08:17,280 --> 00:08:19,680 Speaker 1: But in saying that, that's my mom, So I feel 141 00:08:19,720 --> 00:08:22,440 Speaker 1: like you might have like a bit of a different relationship. 142 00:08:22,440 --> 00:08:25,200 Speaker 2: But she has said here that she does have a 143 00:08:25,200 --> 00:08:26,320 Speaker 2: great relationship with her. 144 00:08:26,680 --> 00:08:30,960 Speaker 1: So I'm in between two minds of do you kind 145 00:08:30,960 --> 00:08:35,839 Speaker 1: of let your partner take the reins and go, look mom, 146 00:08:36,160 --> 00:08:37,920 Speaker 1: you know, let's just call her. 147 00:08:38,240 --> 00:08:39,599 Speaker 2: What do we want to call it? Right here? The 148 00:08:39,720 --> 00:08:43,319 Speaker 2: listener yan Liann. Let's call it Lienne. 149 00:08:43,520 --> 00:08:43,680 Speaker 3: You know. 150 00:08:43,800 --> 00:08:46,800 Speaker 1: Does the partner go, look, mom, you know, Lianne is 151 00:08:46,800 --> 00:08:47,480 Speaker 1: a great mom. 152 00:08:48,080 --> 00:08:50,319 Speaker 2: Thank you so much for the help. It's amazing. We 153 00:08:50,440 --> 00:08:50,920 Speaker 2: love you here. 154 00:08:51,000 --> 00:08:54,240 Speaker 1: But just like, you know, take a little bit of 155 00:08:54,280 --> 00:08:57,320 Speaker 1: a step back and just make sure you're being respectful 156 00:08:57,520 --> 00:09:01,000 Speaker 1: of her and kind of do it that way or 157 00:09:01,640 --> 00:09:05,280 Speaker 1: is it going to be more beneficial and kind of 158 00:09:05,320 --> 00:09:08,080 Speaker 1: just because also, will the mother in law just be like, 159 00:09:08,400 --> 00:09:12,520 Speaker 1: oh like not really understand and kind of take it seriously, 160 00:09:13,000 --> 00:09:16,200 Speaker 1: because the other option is just going direct to her, 161 00:09:16,600 --> 00:09:19,440 Speaker 1: and I think honesty is the best policy, you know, 162 00:09:19,679 --> 00:09:22,680 Speaker 1: and just saying, look, I know you're a great mother, 163 00:09:23,080 --> 00:09:26,920 Speaker 1: I know you love this baby, but I'm just feeling 164 00:09:27,000 --> 00:09:29,560 Speaker 1: like you're a bit overbearing and you're just you know, 165 00:09:29,720 --> 00:09:32,960 Speaker 1: a little bit too much. And I love and respect you, 166 00:09:33,040 --> 00:09:35,319 Speaker 1: but if you could just you know, ease back a. 167 00:09:35,240 --> 00:09:38,280 Speaker 2: Little bit, that would be amazing. What do you think 168 00:09:38,280 --> 00:09:38,880 Speaker 2: a tear. 169 00:09:39,040 --> 00:09:42,600 Speaker 4: Even like potentially bringing in the fact that you're raising 170 00:09:42,679 --> 00:09:44,960 Speaker 4: a baby in a very different world to what she 171 00:09:45,160 --> 00:09:48,320 Speaker 4: raised babies in and that things need to be done 172 00:09:48,400 --> 00:09:51,360 Speaker 4: different now, Like your kid isn't gonna have the same 173 00:09:51,520 --> 00:09:55,800 Speaker 4: issues or face the same challenges that hers did. There's 174 00:09:56,000 --> 00:09:58,920 Speaker 4: a whole like even just blame it on technology. Your 175 00:09:58,960 --> 00:10:01,000 Speaker 4: kid's gonna have to deal with a different kind of 176 00:10:01,040 --> 00:10:01,800 Speaker 4: bullying and. 177 00:10:01,679 --> 00:10:02,960 Speaker 2: We're in a different era. 178 00:10:03,160 --> 00:10:03,400 Speaker 1: Mom. 179 00:10:03,600 --> 00:10:09,280 Speaker 4: Yeah, God, so even just bringing that in, blaming it 180 00:10:09,320 --> 00:10:12,320 Speaker 4: on that, but also yeah, I can kind of understand. 181 00:10:13,000 --> 00:10:15,600 Speaker 1: And it's like it's obviously going to be so helpful 182 00:10:15,679 --> 00:10:18,520 Speaker 1: to have her around, but it would almost make the 183 00:10:18,880 --> 00:10:23,040 Speaker 1: experience a bit unenjoyable sometimes where you're sitting there going, 184 00:10:23,600 --> 00:10:26,439 Speaker 1: oh my god, doing the wrong thing for my child, right, yeah, and. 185 00:10:26,400 --> 00:10:28,520 Speaker 2: She's like just a bit crazy, like just a bit 186 00:10:28,600 --> 00:10:28,920 Speaker 2: full on. 187 00:10:30,559 --> 00:10:33,559 Speaker 4: I just can't imagine someone calling yourself mummy. 188 00:10:34,280 --> 00:10:36,600 Speaker 2: Oh my god, guys, I actually have a funny story. 189 00:10:36,679 --> 00:10:39,280 Speaker 1: So it's funny that we got this dam because I 190 00:10:39,320 --> 00:10:42,680 Speaker 1: remember listening to I honestly can't remember. It was years ago, 191 00:10:42,720 --> 00:10:47,200 Speaker 1: but it was like a radio segment of overbearing mother 192 00:10:47,240 --> 00:10:52,600 Speaker 1: in laws and someone called in its laughing. I told 193 00:10:52,600 --> 00:10:57,000 Speaker 1: her this before someone called in and was like I 194 00:10:57,120 --> 00:11:01,280 Speaker 1: literally caught my mother in law try to breast feed 195 00:11:01,480 --> 00:11:02,000 Speaker 1: my face. 196 00:11:06,280 --> 00:11:06,960 Speaker 2: Oh my gosh. 197 00:11:07,120 --> 00:11:09,880 Speaker 1: I don't imagine that, I know too much, Like what 198 00:11:09,960 --> 00:11:11,000 Speaker 1: would you actually say? 199 00:11:11,080 --> 00:11:14,360 Speaker 2: Like I wouldn't. I wouldn't know what to say. Do 200 00:11:14,440 --> 00:11:16,760 Speaker 2: you even like make a joke out of it? I would, 201 00:11:16,800 --> 00:11:27,559 Speaker 2: I'd have to think anymore. Yes, yes, oh my god. Yeah. 202 00:11:27,600 --> 00:11:31,920 Speaker 1: So I think in conclusion, I think honesty is the 203 00:11:31,920 --> 00:11:33,920 Speaker 1: best policy and you just need to be honest with 204 00:11:33,960 --> 00:11:37,880 Speaker 1: her and just go look, I'm finding a little bit uncomfortable, 205 00:11:37,920 --> 00:11:41,960 Speaker 1: like howful on your being. Please stop calling yourself mummy 206 00:11:42,080 --> 00:11:44,520 Speaker 1: to my child. And I think you just need to 207 00:11:44,559 --> 00:11:48,400 Speaker 1: set those boundaries. And I honestly think she would be like, oh, 208 00:11:48,480 --> 00:11:49,600 Speaker 1: I'm so sorry. 209 00:11:49,320 --> 00:11:50,680 Speaker 2: Like I didn't mean to. 210 00:11:51,920 --> 00:11:54,120 Speaker 1: You know, if you do it in a nice, respectful way, 211 00:11:54,760 --> 00:11:57,199 Speaker 1: I yeah, I think I think it will be fine. 212 00:11:57,040 --> 00:12:00,240 Speaker 4: And even if it's uncomfortable, which it might be, it 213 00:12:00,320 --> 00:12:03,080 Speaker 4: will settle. And you'd rather have it uncomfortable for a 214 00:12:03,080 --> 00:12:06,079 Speaker 4: little bit than be sitting like this for the next 215 00:12:06,480 --> 00:12:07,120 Speaker 4: year in a bit. 216 00:12:07,600 --> 00:12:11,680 Speaker 1: Yeah, because also you might then start building up like resentment, 217 00:12:11,880 --> 00:12:15,200 Speaker 1: and you know, you don't want to build that toxic relationship, 218 00:12:15,640 --> 00:12:18,440 Speaker 1: Whereas if you just spoke to her now, she might 219 00:12:18,480 --> 00:12:19,760 Speaker 1: even be like, oh my god, I'm so sorry. 220 00:12:19,800 --> 00:12:24,360 Speaker 4: I didn't even realize. Next question, Okay, dilemma. My partner 221 00:12:24,400 --> 00:12:27,120 Speaker 4: and I have been together for close to two years, 222 00:12:27,559 --> 00:12:30,600 Speaker 4: living together in a small apartment. It seems as though 223 00:12:30,640 --> 00:12:34,360 Speaker 4: we have lost our way together and separately. I lost 224 00:12:34,360 --> 00:12:37,000 Speaker 4: a love for myself and relied heavily on getting the 225 00:12:37,040 --> 00:12:40,880 Speaker 4: love I needed from him, not prioritizing filling up my 226 00:12:40,960 --> 00:12:44,280 Speaker 4: own cup. We have had a very mature open talk 227 00:12:44,360 --> 00:12:46,839 Speaker 4: and have made the decision to take some space from 228 00:12:46,880 --> 00:12:50,360 Speaker 4: one another. Not broken up, but he's moving out for 229 00:12:50,440 --> 00:12:53,040 Speaker 4: us to both live on our own and take a 230 00:12:53,080 --> 00:12:56,720 Speaker 4: step back and find ourselves again. How would you suggest 231 00:12:56,880 --> 00:13:00,200 Speaker 4: navigating this time, and do you believe we were on 232 00:13:00,240 --> 00:13:04,600 Speaker 4: a break? If you know, you know is good for 233 00:13:04,640 --> 00:13:07,280 Speaker 4: a relationship in order to find our way back to 234 00:13:07,280 --> 00:13:10,720 Speaker 4: one another. I deeply trust in the universe but can't 235 00:13:10,760 --> 00:13:17,480 Speaker 4: help but still feel fear of completely losing him. Oh, 236 00:13:17,600 --> 00:13:19,600 Speaker 4: I'm not gonna lie, guys. I had to have a 237 00:13:19,640 --> 00:13:22,240 Speaker 4: tier explain that we're on the break. 238 00:13:22,360 --> 00:13:24,680 Speaker 2: Yeah, she's not watched Friends in order. 239 00:13:25,400 --> 00:13:28,560 Speaker 1: I yeah, like I've watched like various episodes, but I yeah, 240 00:13:28,679 --> 00:13:30,679 Speaker 1: like not consistently. And I think I've seen a couple 241 00:13:30,720 --> 00:13:32,720 Speaker 1: of means about it and like kind of got the concept, 242 00:13:32,720 --> 00:13:34,320 Speaker 1: but a tear had to fully explain it to me. 243 00:13:34,440 --> 00:13:38,520 Speaker 1: So now I'm up with the friend's reference. Oh okay, 244 00:13:38,880 --> 00:13:41,720 Speaker 1: this is a good one. It's I feel like a 245 00:13:41,760 --> 00:13:45,120 Speaker 1: little bit like I'm obviously unqualified to answer all these 246 00:13:45,200 --> 00:13:49,880 Speaker 1: questions disclaimer, but I feel a little bit unqualified because 247 00:13:49,920 --> 00:13:53,200 Speaker 1: I haven't been in this scenario. And again, I'm kind 248 00:13:53,200 --> 00:13:58,040 Speaker 1: of in between two minds because the first thing that 249 00:13:58,240 --> 00:14:02,679 Speaker 1: I think is and this maybe like too much of 250 00:14:02,720 --> 00:14:08,880 Speaker 1: a black and white answer, but I just think relationships 251 00:14:09,120 --> 00:14:13,040 Speaker 1: obviously are hard and they're a struggle. But if you 252 00:14:13,120 --> 00:14:15,559 Speaker 1: get to the point you know where. 253 00:14:15,400 --> 00:14:18,520 Speaker 2: You want to move out and not live with that person? 254 00:14:19,360 --> 00:14:22,840 Speaker 1: Is it the REALI is it the right relationship anymore? 255 00:14:23,480 --> 00:14:25,000 Speaker 2: Do you kind of agree or do you think that's 256 00:14:25,040 --> 00:14:26,720 Speaker 2: too like rough? 257 00:14:27,240 --> 00:14:30,800 Speaker 4: Yeah? I think it's it's weird because I noticed that 258 00:14:30,920 --> 00:14:34,240 Speaker 4: you said you've been together for two years, and it's 259 00:14:34,280 --> 00:14:36,080 Speaker 4: been a wild two years. 260 00:14:36,400 --> 00:14:37,600 Speaker 2: Yeah, COVID. 261 00:14:37,960 --> 00:14:40,840 Speaker 4: Yeah, getting stuck inside with people, even if if it's 262 00:14:40,840 --> 00:14:42,880 Speaker 4: for six weeks, if it's for the whole two years, 263 00:14:42,880 --> 00:14:45,880 Speaker 4: depending on where you are, it is pretty difficult. And 264 00:14:46,520 --> 00:14:48,600 Speaker 4: even then, I feel like a lot of people have 265 00:14:48,680 --> 00:14:51,520 Speaker 4: had just an accelerated period of growth because of COVID 266 00:14:51,600 --> 00:14:55,440 Speaker 4: and everything that's happened around it. So it could be 267 00:14:55,480 --> 00:14:59,160 Speaker 4: potentially that he might have been your soulmate all for 268 00:14:59,200 --> 00:15:02,320 Speaker 4: a friend reference your love stuff at the beginning of 269 00:15:03,200 --> 00:15:05,840 Speaker 4: the two years, but now you've just grown in two 270 00:15:05,880 --> 00:15:08,400 Speaker 4: different directions but still share that love for each other. 271 00:15:09,520 --> 00:15:12,480 Speaker 1: Yeah, that's so interesting. And first of all, I just 272 00:15:12,480 --> 00:15:15,360 Speaker 1: want to say, I love that they've come to this 273 00:15:15,560 --> 00:15:19,640 Speaker 1: mature situation where they realized that they need to work 274 00:15:19,680 --> 00:15:22,920 Speaker 1: on each other and moving out is the best option. Ye. 275 00:15:23,720 --> 00:15:25,880 Speaker 1: I love that she's obviously a big believer, you know, 276 00:15:25,960 --> 00:15:29,480 Speaker 1: in the universe and so on top of that too. 277 00:15:29,520 --> 00:15:32,920 Speaker 1: It's kind of like, I'm a big believer in if 278 00:15:32,960 --> 00:15:37,200 Speaker 1: you guys are meant to be together, you will, but 279 00:15:37,640 --> 00:15:40,680 Speaker 1: I don't know in this circumstance. I'm kind of feeling like, 280 00:15:41,320 --> 00:15:44,240 Speaker 1: if you do really need to like not be together 281 00:15:44,400 --> 00:15:48,920 Speaker 1: and work on yourself, can you do that still together 282 00:15:49,000 --> 00:15:50,800 Speaker 1: but just not living together. 283 00:15:50,640 --> 00:15:53,240 Speaker 2: Or do you need a clean break and. 284 00:15:53,160 --> 00:15:56,080 Speaker 1: Then you know, catch up in a year six months 285 00:15:56,120 --> 00:15:58,200 Speaker 1: and see if you guys can get back together. I 286 00:15:58,240 --> 00:16:01,040 Speaker 1: just think it's a little bit fuzzy if you're still 287 00:16:01,080 --> 00:16:03,160 Speaker 1: together but you've moved out, but you need to work 288 00:16:03,200 --> 00:16:04,000 Speaker 1: on yourself, do you know. 289 00:16:04,000 --> 00:16:06,880 Speaker 4: I mean, it's sort of like you're trying to grow, 290 00:16:06,920 --> 00:16:11,560 Speaker 4: but you're still tied down to something yes and love that, 291 00:16:11,600 --> 00:16:15,600 Speaker 4: and you can't, Like you're if you're tied down, you're 292 00:16:15,640 --> 00:16:17,760 Speaker 4: not going to be able to go as high or 293 00:16:17,960 --> 00:16:19,160 Speaker 4: grow in the right direction. 294 00:16:19,440 --> 00:16:22,960 Speaker 1: Because something she says is like, I'm not prioritizing filling 295 00:16:23,040 --> 00:16:25,440 Speaker 1: up my own cut, but it's like, can you do 296 00:16:25,480 --> 00:16:29,160 Speaker 1: that if you're still tied to this person, which you 297 00:16:29,320 --> 00:16:32,680 Speaker 1: obviously wouldn't be able to because it will always limit 298 00:16:33,200 --> 00:16:35,480 Speaker 1: your decisions because it'll be in the back of your mind, 299 00:16:35,520 --> 00:16:37,440 Speaker 1: like you'll say, Oh, this really great job came up, 300 00:16:37,440 --> 00:16:40,120 Speaker 1: but oh it's in a different city, should I take it? 301 00:16:40,200 --> 00:16:42,440 Speaker 1: But maybe that that is where you're supposed to go, 302 00:16:42,560 --> 00:16:45,280 Speaker 1: and that's where the universe is pushing you. But because 303 00:16:45,320 --> 00:16:47,760 Speaker 1: you've still got him in the back of your mind, 304 00:16:48,520 --> 00:16:50,400 Speaker 1: you will be stuck. You'll say, I can't take that 305 00:16:50,480 --> 00:16:52,440 Speaker 1: because we're going to catch up in a year and 306 00:16:52,480 --> 00:16:56,520 Speaker 1: get back together, and you can't grow. And I think 307 00:16:56,520 --> 00:16:59,520 Speaker 1: it's also there's two sort of situations here. It's either 308 00:17:00,320 --> 00:17:05,879 Speaker 1: you guys move out and you basically realize that you 309 00:17:05,960 --> 00:17:08,720 Speaker 1: don't need to be with him, and maybe the love 310 00:17:09,480 --> 00:17:12,159 Speaker 1: was definite, like a tear you said, like it was 311 00:17:12,200 --> 00:17:15,119 Speaker 1: there at the start, but maybe it's a scenario of 312 00:17:15,240 --> 00:17:17,760 Speaker 1: you kind of have grown apart, but you just felt 313 00:17:17,760 --> 00:17:22,080 Speaker 1: so comfortable and it was almost like a complacent sort 314 00:17:22,080 --> 00:17:26,879 Speaker 1: of scenario. So either that is going to happen, or 315 00:17:26,920 --> 00:17:29,320 Speaker 1: you're going to move out and you're going to be like, no, 316 00:17:29,440 --> 00:17:32,760 Speaker 1: he's my person, like he's the one, But then also 317 00:17:32,800 --> 00:17:34,720 Speaker 1: he needs to feel that way exactly. 318 00:17:34,840 --> 00:17:38,359 Speaker 4: And the other thing that she said where she said 319 00:17:38,400 --> 00:17:41,199 Speaker 4: that she couldn't fill up her cup herself and she 320 00:17:41,400 --> 00:17:47,480 Speaker 4: needed that validation from someone else. It sounds a bit codependent. Again, 321 00:17:47,600 --> 00:17:53,359 Speaker 4: not qualified to say that. I just feel like it's 322 00:17:53,400 --> 00:17:57,280 Speaker 4: so important to be able to look after yourself and 323 00:17:57,440 --> 00:18:00,040 Speaker 4: be able to know the things that you like that 324 00:18:00,240 --> 00:18:03,480 Speaker 4: will fill your cup and find those things separate to 325 00:18:03,560 --> 00:18:07,560 Speaker 4: someone else because if you always which you've obviously realized 326 00:18:07,680 --> 00:18:09,800 Speaker 4: that you can't rely on him for that because that's 327 00:18:09,840 --> 00:18:12,000 Speaker 4: not fair to him, but it's also not fair to you. 328 00:18:12,720 --> 00:18:15,639 Speaker 4: So find those things. The fastest way to do that 329 00:18:15,760 --> 00:18:17,680 Speaker 4: is to have a clean break. 330 00:18:18,240 --> 00:18:19,959 Speaker 2: I agree, I'm kind of with you on this one. 331 00:18:20,040 --> 00:18:20,320 Speaker 2: To tear. 332 00:18:20,520 --> 00:18:22,280 Speaker 1: I think it needs to be a clean break. Like 333 00:18:22,840 --> 00:18:26,159 Speaker 1: I think, if you've decided to move out and you 334 00:18:26,320 --> 00:18:28,560 Speaker 1: need to work on these things, I think you have 335 00:18:28,640 --> 00:18:32,560 Speaker 1: to actually give it a good go solo, work on 336 00:18:33,119 --> 00:18:36,320 Speaker 1: making sure you know you can give love to yourself, 337 00:18:36,680 --> 00:18:39,639 Speaker 1: prioritizing filling up your own cup, and. 338 00:18:39,600 --> 00:18:42,560 Speaker 2: Really give it a good go. So if you do. 339 00:18:43,400 --> 00:18:46,879 Speaker 1: Decide to get back together, you can give it a 340 00:18:46,880 --> 00:18:49,359 Speaker 1: good shot exactly, and you can both be the best 341 00:18:49,440 --> 00:18:52,800 Speaker 1: versions of yourself, because that's what I would bet each 342 00:18:52,840 --> 00:18:53,439 Speaker 1: of you deserve. 343 00:18:54,359 --> 00:18:56,879 Speaker 4: And even I guess we still need to answer her 344 00:18:56,960 --> 00:19:01,480 Speaker 4: question how does she navigate this time? I would probably say, 345 00:19:01,520 --> 00:19:04,520 Speaker 4: set clear boundaries on what both of you are expecting 346 00:19:04,520 --> 00:19:07,520 Speaker 4: from this, because the last thing you want is one 347 00:19:07,520 --> 00:19:10,720 Speaker 4: of you thinking that you're still somewhat together and the 348 00:19:10,800 --> 00:19:14,520 Speaker 4: other one not, and then then you have some friends. 349 00:19:14,520 --> 00:19:16,840 Speaker 2: Like yeah, scenario. 350 00:19:17,440 --> 00:19:19,760 Speaker 1: And also I don't know, this also might be black 351 00:19:19,800 --> 00:19:23,479 Speaker 1: and white again, like obviously my relationship is so different 352 00:19:23,600 --> 00:19:27,840 Speaker 1: because I've had I've been in a long term relationship 353 00:19:27,880 --> 00:19:28,880 Speaker 1: for like ten years. 354 00:19:29,160 --> 00:19:29,879 Speaker 2: But I don't know. 355 00:19:30,000 --> 00:19:32,960 Speaker 1: I just think like relationships are hard in a struggle, 356 00:19:33,000 --> 00:19:36,160 Speaker 1: but also not that hard, do you know what I mean? 357 00:19:36,280 --> 00:19:39,000 Speaker 1: Like as hard as things get with me and Tim, like, 358 00:19:39,040 --> 00:19:41,119 Speaker 1: oh my god, with a new baby, it's like fucking 359 00:19:41,280 --> 00:19:45,080 Speaker 1: can be World War three sometimes, but like I would 360 00:19:45,080 --> 00:19:48,120 Speaker 1: not even dream of leaving him, do you. I mean, 361 00:19:48,160 --> 00:19:50,680 Speaker 1: like that's not even a scenario in my head. 362 00:19:51,600 --> 00:19:54,280 Speaker 2: So there's also a part of me but in saying 363 00:19:54,320 --> 00:19:55,840 Speaker 2: that they've only been together two years? 364 00:19:56,080 --> 00:20:00,800 Speaker 4: Yeah, and what have you done with Tim to make 365 00:20:00,880 --> 00:20:04,480 Speaker 4: sure that you guys still are your own people? 366 00:20:04,760 --> 00:20:07,800 Speaker 1: So we I love, Like, I just have a really 367 00:20:07,800 --> 00:20:11,880 Speaker 1: strong friend group and I prioritize my friends. So it's 368 00:20:12,119 --> 00:20:14,480 Speaker 1: I feel like a lot of people sometimes you know, 369 00:20:15,040 --> 00:20:18,399 Speaker 1: instead of saying yes to what their friends are doing, 370 00:20:18,480 --> 00:20:20,399 Speaker 1: they kind of check with their partner first, then go 371 00:20:20,480 --> 00:20:23,000 Speaker 1: back and forward. But I'm very much like if a 372 00:20:23,000 --> 00:20:25,560 Speaker 1: friend wants to hang out and you know, we plan something, 373 00:20:25,600 --> 00:20:26,639 Speaker 1: it's always going to happen. 374 00:20:26,760 --> 00:20:27,880 Speaker 2: I'm not going to bail. 375 00:20:28,240 --> 00:20:31,800 Speaker 1: So always prioritizing friendships. And then also for me, like 376 00:20:32,000 --> 00:20:34,520 Speaker 1: my work is obviously my life. So a huge part 377 00:20:35,200 --> 00:20:39,119 Speaker 1: of that too is like you know, like my world 378 00:20:39,200 --> 00:20:41,399 Speaker 1: isn't just him, if that makes sense. 379 00:20:41,320 --> 00:20:47,960 Speaker 4: Yeah, exactly, And I think potentially I lock time alone 380 00:20:48,720 --> 00:20:51,640 Speaker 4: what I would do about and just. 381 00:20:51,720 --> 00:20:52,719 Speaker 2: Visit him and Ivy. 382 00:20:52,920 --> 00:20:56,719 Speaker 4: Honestly, I've heard about relationships with people where they like 383 00:20:56,760 --> 00:20:59,600 Speaker 4: live in different houses just on the same street what 384 00:21:00,359 --> 00:21:02,679 Speaker 4: and they're like married, and they just they like their 385 00:21:02,720 --> 00:21:05,040 Speaker 4: own space and that's what makes them happiest. 386 00:21:05,080 --> 00:21:11,680 Speaker 2: So it might I get like my own room or something. 387 00:21:12,040 --> 00:21:14,359 Speaker 1: Literally, I'm going to die if he heard this right, 388 00:21:14,440 --> 00:21:17,920 Speaker 1: he doesn't listen to what us Okay, So in conclusion, 389 00:21:17,960 --> 00:21:20,120 Speaker 1: a tiar, what do you kind of reckon? 390 00:21:20,160 --> 00:21:21,640 Speaker 2: You say yours and I'll say my advice. 391 00:21:22,080 --> 00:21:25,240 Speaker 4: I reckon if you've already had the chat and you've 392 00:21:25,280 --> 00:21:28,240 Speaker 4: decided that he's moving out to have a clean break, 393 00:21:29,520 --> 00:21:32,040 Speaker 4: or if you're not comfortable with a clean break, having 394 00:21:32,080 --> 00:21:37,240 Speaker 4: clear boundaries on what your break is. Also deciding how 395 00:21:37,359 --> 00:21:39,560 Speaker 4: much you want to have to do with each other 396 00:21:39,680 --> 00:21:42,720 Speaker 4: prior to him moving out, so you don't want him 397 00:21:42,760 --> 00:21:45,000 Speaker 4: trying to catch up or you trying to catch up 398 00:21:45,480 --> 00:21:48,840 Speaker 4: if the other one wasn't expecting that, And also just 399 00:21:49,119 --> 00:21:52,160 Speaker 4: keeping an honest dialogue while you're on your break, if 400 00:21:52,200 --> 00:21:54,879 Speaker 4: you're staying sort of tethered to each other, but it 401 00:21:55,000 --> 00:21:58,680 Speaker 4: is probably best to have a clean break and then 402 00:21:58,760 --> 00:22:00,720 Speaker 4: see how you are down alone. 403 00:22:00,880 --> 00:22:03,320 Speaker 1: And I kind of truly believe in the like, you 404 00:22:03,359 --> 00:22:07,480 Speaker 1: can't lose someone if they're your person, if that makes sense, 405 00:22:08,160 --> 00:22:11,280 Speaker 1: and if he does fade away or whatnot, then it's 406 00:22:11,320 --> 00:22:13,840 Speaker 1: like it wasn't meant to be. And that's amazing that 407 00:22:13,880 --> 00:22:16,359 Speaker 1: you figured it out and you didn't kind of I 408 00:22:16,359 --> 00:22:18,600 Speaker 1: don't want to say waste any more time, but yeah, 409 00:22:18,720 --> 00:22:21,520 Speaker 1: you figured it out at this moment. And then also 410 00:22:21,760 --> 00:22:24,240 Speaker 1: I just really want to touch on this, but I 411 00:22:24,280 --> 00:22:27,000 Speaker 1: think also if you are going to have a clean 412 00:22:27,080 --> 00:22:31,679 Speaker 1: break and you're obviously living separately, I don't know, this 413 00:22:31,760 --> 00:22:34,320 Speaker 1: might be a weird way of thinking, but I think 414 00:22:34,800 --> 00:22:37,520 Speaker 1: you know if he does go off and sleep with 415 00:22:37,600 --> 00:22:40,959 Speaker 1: other people, if we're talking friends reference, I think that 416 00:22:41,080 --> 00:22:45,120 Speaker 1: can't have an effect if you get back with each other. 417 00:22:45,560 --> 00:22:47,840 Speaker 2: No down the line, don't you reckon. I don't think 418 00:22:47,880 --> 00:22:48,680 Speaker 2: it would either. 419 00:22:49,000 --> 00:22:51,920 Speaker 4: Like sometimes you don't know what you happen until you've 420 00:22:51,920 --> 00:22:53,800 Speaker 4: lost it kind of thing, like. 421 00:22:54,320 --> 00:22:56,439 Speaker 1: And you've just got to accept that you guys, you know, 422 00:22:56,960 --> 00:22:57,960 Speaker 1: decide it will happen. 423 00:22:58,200 --> 00:23:01,600 Speaker 4: Yes, and that's a decase you're making. But that doesn't 424 00:23:01,640 --> 00:23:04,280 Speaker 4: mean that that he's the wrong person or the right 425 00:23:04,320 --> 00:23:05,879 Speaker 4: person if that sort of stuff happens. 426 00:23:06,119 --> 00:23:06,320 Speaker 2: Yeah. 427 00:23:06,359 --> 00:23:08,959 Speaker 1: Agree, And I think we can just be like mature 428 00:23:08,960 --> 00:23:12,639 Speaker 1: about it. Yeah, all right, that was a goody. 429 00:23:12,840 --> 00:23:17,640 Speaker 4: Yeah, that was last question. I'm constantly torn between wanting 430 00:23:17,720 --> 00:23:21,440 Speaker 4: more and being satisfied with what I have. For example, 431 00:23:21,520 --> 00:23:24,720 Speaker 4: wanting bigger and better things for my life, more success, 432 00:23:24,920 --> 00:23:28,800 Speaker 4: more happiness, more money. First, being satisfied with what I have, 433 00:23:29,320 --> 00:23:31,760 Speaker 4: content with what I have achieved, and living in the 434 00:23:31,800 --> 00:23:34,919 Speaker 4: present moment. I feel like if I'm making big goals, 435 00:23:35,000 --> 00:23:38,040 Speaker 4: I'm telling myself that what I currently have isn't enough, 436 00:23:38,440 --> 00:23:40,760 Speaker 4: and I am too focused on the future rather than 437 00:23:40,800 --> 00:23:42,280 Speaker 4: appreciating the present moment. 438 00:23:42,440 --> 00:23:45,200 Speaker 2: Ooh, is this a great question. 439 00:23:46,080 --> 00:23:48,600 Speaker 1: Okay, The first thing that actually just came to me 440 00:23:48,720 --> 00:23:51,600 Speaker 1: when you're saying that a Tia was so what I 441 00:23:51,640 --> 00:23:55,600 Speaker 1: truly believe in first of all, is you can like 442 00:23:56,040 --> 00:24:00,000 Speaker 1: have both and you can be doing both things simultaneous. 443 00:24:00,440 --> 00:24:04,960 Speaker 2: Is that the right word simultaneously? Oh my god? 444 00:24:05,200 --> 00:24:07,040 Speaker 4: I feel like the Grant Phillies on this lit. 445 00:24:07,160 --> 00:24:13,040 Speaker 1: I know cele don't, but do you kind of agree 446 00:24:13,160 --> 00:24:16,800 Speaker 1: in regards to a huge like thing of my practice. 447 00:24:16,840 --> 00:24:20,919 Speaker 1: I feel like I'm the queen at being grateful for 448 00:24:21,080 --> 00:24:26,880 Speaker 1: what I have while continuously working on the next thing and. 449 00:24:27,000 --> 00:24:28,200 Speaker 2: Loving to dream big. 450 00:24:28,280 --> 00:24:32,639 Speaker 1: I think the biggest thing I find, especially in women, 451 00:24:32,880 --> 00:24:36,840 Speaker 1: is we are so scared on dreaming big. We shouldn't like, 452 00:24:36,880 --> 00:24:39,000 Speaker 1: we should just be grateful with what we have now, 453 00:24:39,040 --> 00:24:41,160 Speaker 1: and we shouldn't want to dream and we shouldn't want 454 00:24:41,200 --> 00:24:41,800 Speaker 1: to want. 455 00:24:42,000 --> 00:24:43,760 Speaker 2: You know, something better for yourself? 456 00:24:43,840 --> 00:24:46,040 Speaker 1: Yes, and a fancy car and a fancy house, and 457 00:24:46,080 --> 00:24:49,240 Speaker 1: that's greedy, and I feel like we like I feel 458 00:24:49,280 --> 00:24:52,560 Speaker 1: like that's such a like theme in a lot of 459 00:24:52,600 --> 00:24:55,000 Speaker 1: like women's lives, where they don't want to dream big 460 00:24:55,040 --> 00:24:56,840 Speaker 1: because we should just be content. 461 00:24:57,440 --> 00:24:59,760 Speaker 2: But I'm like, you should be lucky, you should just 462 00:24:59,800 --> 00:25:00,879 Speaker 2: be with what you have. 463 00:25:01,160 --> 00:25:03,440 Speaker 1: No, Oh my god, that's such something like my parents 464 00:25:03,480 --> 00:25:06,679 Speaker 1: would say to me. So I'm such a big believer 465 00:25:06,880 --> 00:25:10,560 Speaker 1: in you can dream big and you can want success 466 00:25:10,600 --> 00:25:15,000 Speaker 1: and you can go after it while also being grateful 467 00:25:15,119 --> 00:25:18,560 Speaker 1: and content with what you have now. And what I 468 00:25:18,640 --> 00:25:23,240 Speaker 1: was actually going to say what came to mind is seasons. 469 00:25:23,680 --> 00:25:27,160 Speaker 1: So like, I think you need to decide what season 470 00:25:27,160 --> 00:25:28,080 Speaker 1: are you currently in. 471 00:25:28,600 --> 00:25:30,720 Speaker 2: Are you in a season where you. 472 00:25:30,960 --> 00:25:34,120 Speaker 1: Are working, you know, over time, and you've got these 473 00:25:34,200 --> 00:25:37,360 Speaker 1: huge goals and you're going and going going, Or are 474 00:25:37,400 --> 00:25:40,160 Speaker 1: you in a season where, yes, you've got some big goals, 475 00:25:40,560 --> 00:25:43,360 Speaker 1: but it's also a season of chill and I can 476 00:25:43,400 --> 00:25:46,320 Speaker 1: still have these big goals, but I've just maybe gone 477 00:25:46,359 --> 00:25:49,600 Speaker 1: through like a pretty hectic fallen season and it's like 478 00:25:49,640 --> 00:25:51,359 Speaker 1: a chill season, do you I mean. 479 00:25:51,400 --> 00:25:53,480 Speaker 4: Yeah, for sure. And I feel like that is the 480 00:25:53,640 --> 00:25:55,840 Speaker 4: only way you can live your life. Like, if you're 481 00:25:55,840 --> 00:25:59,280 Speaker 4: living your life consistently, just like, it's great to be 482 00:25:59,359 --> 00:26:02,080 Speaker 4: grateful for what you have, but if that's all you're doing, 483 00:26:02,160 --> 00:26:05,280 Speaker 4: you're not going to move forward and you're limiting yourself. Yeah, 484 00:26:05,320 --> 00:26:07,479 Speaker 4: but if all you're doing is focusing on what you 485 00:26:07,560 --> 00:26:10,200 Speaker 4: don't have, you're just limiting yourself in a different way 486 00:26:10,240 --> 00:26:14,040 Speaker 4: because you're unable to feel happiness ever just want something 487 00:26:14,080 --> 00:26:14,760 Speaker 4: else all the time. 488 00:26:15,040 --> 00:26:18,639 Speaker 1: It's like, yeah, you almost need to have a taste 489 00:26:18,680 --> 00:26:22,600 Speaker 1: of both, yeah, or at different seasons. Yeah, but you 490 00:26:22,640 --> 00:26:24,879 Speaker 1: don't always want to just sit there and be like, well, 491 00:26:24,920 --> 00:26:27,520 Speaker 1: I'm so grateful for what I'm having and I should 492 00:26:27,560 --> 00:26:30,280 Speaker 1: just be content, so I shouldn't go after these other things. 493 00:26:30,359 --> 00:26:30,840 Speaker 2: Yeah. 494 00:26:30,880 --> 00:26:33,240 Speaker 1: And also you shouldn't always be like I want more, 495 00:26:33,280 --> 00:26:34,760 Speaker 1: I want more, I want more. 496 00:26:34,840 --> 00:26:37,600 Speaker 4: Yeah, because either of those ways, you'll never be happy 497 00:26:37,640 --> 00:26:41,159 Speaker 4: with what you have. And just taking I guess a 498 00:26:41,200 --> 00:26:44,360 Speaker 4: few moments every day to just practice gratitude is such 499 00:26:44,400 --> 00:26:47,640 Speaker 4: a big thing, and it can go from being grateful 500 00:26:47,640 --> 00:26:49,600 Speaker 4: for the job you have or the car or house 501 00:26:49,680 --> 00:26:52,639 Speaker 4: you have to just a simple thing is when I 502 00:26:52,680 --> 00:26:55,560 Speaker 4: turn the lights, which the lights come on? Or when 503 00:26:55,600 --> 00:26:58,320 Speaker 4: I when the tap water comes out, Like I'm not 504 00:26:58,359 --> 00:27:01,280 Speaker 4: living somewhere where that's a question for me, I know 505 00:27:01,359 --> 00:27:04,359 Speaker 4: that that happens. Yeah, And just practicing gratitude and starting 506 00:27:04,359 --> 00:27:06,280 Speaker 4: with small things and working up to the bigger things 507 00:27:06,320 --> 00:27:09,960 Speaker 4: you're grateful for while still like make a vision board 508 00:27:09,960 --> 00:27:12,040 Speaker 4: if you're in your chill season, maybe have a mood 509 00:27:12,040 --> 00:27:14,560 Speaker 4: board with how you want to feel and not smart 510 00:27:14,560 --> 00:27:15,480 Speaker 4: goals or guy. 511 00:27:16,359 --> 00:27:18,840 Speaker 1: Tia has this really great thing she has chatted to 512 00:27:18,880 --> 00:27:22,400 Speaker 1: me about where she goes. Vision boards are like sometimes 513 00:27:22,400 --> 00:27:25,160 Speaker 1: they're just like too much for her, and it's like, yeah, 514 00:27:25,200 --> 00:27:27,960 Speaker 1: it's like too polarizing almost, And so what she'll do 515 00:27:28,040 --> 00:27:31,040 Speaker 1: is she'll create a mood board where it's not so 516 00:27:31,160 --> 00:27:36,200 Speaker 1: much about like physical goals or like these great big goals. 517 00:27:35,920 --> 00:27:37,960 Speaker 2: But it's like just the vibe. 518 00:27:38,160 --> 00:27:40,800 Speaker 4: Yeah, it's just the vibe, the vie and it just 519 00:27:40,880 --> 00:27:42,720 Speaker 4: kind of you know, makes her feel good and like 520 00:27:42,840 --> 00:27:43,520 Speaker 4: motivates her. 521 00:27:43,560 --> 00:27:45,080 Speaker 2: But it's like nothing crazy. 522 00:27:45,359 --> 00:27:47,879 Speaker 4: Yeah, And like I feel like a lot of people 523 00:27:47,920 --> 00:27:51,800 Speaker 4: feel or might think they need a dream job and 524 00:27:51,880 --> 00:27:55,119 Speaker 4: an end goal and when they get there, they're done. 525 00:27:55,640 --> 00:27:57,960 Speaker 4: But what happens if you get there in the next 526 00:27:58,000 --> 00:27:59,800 Speaker 4: two years? What are you going to do after that? 527 00:28:00,080 --> 00:28:01,800 Speaker 2: You can't get the next bit? 528 00:28:01,960 --> 00:28:06,200 Speaker 4: Yeah, you can't set your whole life based on wanting 529 00:28:06,600 --> 00:28:09,479 Speaker 4: specific things all the time, and don't make that your 530 00:28:09,520 --> 00:28:14,320 Speaker 4: whole identity. Yeah, just have a feeling that you think 531 00:28:14,359 --> 00:28:16,000 Speaker 4: about how you want to feel rather than what you 532 00:28:16,040 --> 00:28:18,680 Speaker 4: want to have, and then make that mood board. 533 00:28:18,960 --> 00:28:22,280 Speaker 1: Well that's even like when I got pregnant, because it 534 00:28:22,320 --> 00:28:24,320 Speaker 1: was like, honestly the first time in my life that 535 00:28:24,440 --> 00:28:26,960 Speaker 1: I was like, I want to do the opposite of 536 00:28:27,000 --> 00:28:31,280 Speaker 1: achieving things and I want to just do less. And 537 00:28:31,800 --> 00:28:34,440 Speaker 1: even though that you actually did so much more. 538 00:28:34,720 --> 00:28:38,600 Speaker 4: Because I like, I'm gonna have no time, I know, 539 00:28:38,800 --> 00:28:39,680 Speaker 4: I like, well, I. 540 00:28:39,640 --> 00:28:42,120 Speaker 1: Had to prep for maternity leave that I honestly didn't 541 00:28:42,120 --> 00:28:46,160 Speaker 1: even take, and then like so many opportunities come up 542 00:28:46,160 --> 00:28:47,960 Speaker 1: because I was pregnant, like with the pedal and PUK 543 00:28:48,000 --> 00:28:49,640 Speaker 1: collab and stuff like that, so. 544 00:28:49,600 --> 00:28:50,680 Speaker 2: It was actually so busy. 545 00:28:50,800 --> 00:28:53,640 Speaker 1: But anyway, what I'm trying to say is like it 546 00:28:53,720 --> 00:28:57,000 Speaker 1: was a season where I was just like, I am 547 00:28:57,080 --> 00:28:59,920 Speaker 1: so happy and content and I just do not care 548 00:29:00,080 --> 00:29:02,920 Speaker 1: about like achieving goals. I just am so here to 549 00:29:03,120 --> 00:29:05,560 Speaker 1: just enjoy, to just enjoy it. But then there's you know, 550 00:29:05,680 --> 00:29:08,840 Speaker 1: previous seasons where I'm like, I want you know, yeah, 551 00:29:08,960 --> 00:29:11,000 Speaker 1: I want to be a thirty under thirty you know, 552 00:29:12,480 --> 00:29:17,080 Speaker 1: don't know? All, yes, that's actually on my vision board, 553 00:29:17,160 --> 00:29:17,440 Speaker 1: is it? 554 00:29:17,600 --> 00:29:19,640 Speaker 2: Yeah? Oh my god, I'm putting it on mine. 555 00:29:19,920 --> 00:29:23,320 Speaker 1: Oh guys, I actually need to create a new vision 556 00:29:23,360 --> 00:29:26,280 Speaker 1: board now that I'm a mom, and I just like 557 00:29:26,360 --> 00:29:30,400 Speaker 1: I feel like I'm a different person, and yeah, that's 558 00:29:30,440 --> 00:29:32,280 Speaker 1: something we should do in the office. Sit here too 559 00:29:33,080 --> 00:29:36,480 Speaker 1: for the potty, like a vision board for the potty. Yeah, guys, 560 00:29:36,480 --> 00:29:38,680 Speaker 1: should we do like a vision board episode? Should we 561 00:29:38,720 --> 00:29:40,640 Speaker 1: do like a vision board live call? 562 00:29:41,080 --> 00:29:41,840 Speaker 4: Oh? 563 00:29:41,880 --> 00:29:44,760 Speaker 2: Like with the listeners? Yeah, this is funny. 564 00:29:44,840 --> 00:29:49,640 Speaker 4: Okay, I'm getting away off topic, Jimmy, Sorry, no, leave 565 00:29:49,680 --> 00:29:50,320 Speaker 4: it in, Jamie. 566 00:29:51,600 --> 00:29:53,040 Speaker 2: Let us know, jump on our DMS. 567 00:29:53,600 --> 00:29:58,680 Speaker 1: So I think, like, in conclusion, this person, I know, 568 00:29:58,760 --> 00:30:02,040 Speaker 1: I get the feeling that she is constantly wanting more. Yeah, 569 00:30:02,320 --> 00:30:05,000 Speaker 1: and I would just say, that's great, You're doing amazing. 570 00:30:05,120 --> 00:30:07,560 Speaker 2: Don't feel guilty. Don't feel guilty. 571 00:30:08,120 --> 00:30:11,720 Speaker 1: Maybe you just need to practice gratitude a little bit more. 572 00:30:11,760 --> 00:30:13,320 Speaker 2: And also, I don't know. 573 00:30:13,400 --> 00:30:15,280 Speaker 1: My thing right now is I feel like a lot 574 00:30:15,320 --> 00:30:19,920 Speaker 1: of people younger than me. What's like the generation before me? 575 00:30:20,080 --> 00:30:22,480 Speaker 1: A tear before you or after after? 576 00:30:23,120 --> 00:30:25,760 Speaker 4: Gen Z? What am I gen y millennial? 577 00:30:26,120 --> 00:30:28,400 Speaker 2: I'm a millennial? Yeah, I think, so what are you? 578 00:30:28,720 --> 00:30:29,240 Speaker 2: I'm gen Z? 579 00:30:29,720 --> 00:30:32,160 Speaker 1: Okay, gen Z, I this is going to be like 580 00:30:32,400 --> 00:30:36,240 Speaker 1: joen Z, but I reckon jen Z. Like a huge 581 00:30:36,360 --> 00:30:40,440 Speaker 1: thing that I'm all about is delayed gratification, yes, which 582 00:30:40,480 --> 00:30:44,280 Speaker 1: we are not. I love delayed gratification, like I am 583 00:30:44,360 --> 00:30:48,480 Speaker 1: so happy to work on something for years before actually 584 00:30:48,520 --> 00:30:51,880 Speaker 1: getting the feeling, and I feel like that's something that 585 00:30:52,040 --> 00:30:55,000 Speaker 1: maybe this person needs to relish in, like the becoming, 586 00:30:55,080 --> 00:30:59,200 Speaker 1: Like I love relishing in the becoming and like the doing, 587 00:30:59,360 --> 00:31:01,640 Speaker 1: and that's the ship that honestly lights me up. 588 00:31:01,760 --> 00:31:04,320 Speaker 2: Not the end goal. I mean that would be And 589 00:31:04,360 --> 00:31:04,920 Speaker 2: that's why I'm. 590 00:31:04,840 --> 00:31:07,640 Speaker 1: A sicko who has all these goals all the time, 591 00:31:07,640 --> 00:31:09,960 Speaker 1: because it's not so much about the goal ground, it's. 592 00:31:10,160 --> 00:31:11,360 Speaker 2: The work to the goals. 593 00:31:13,200 --> 00:31:15,600 Speaker 4: I actually think that would be an interesting thing to 594 00:31:15,680 --> 00:31:20,200 Speaker 4: dive into because gratification gen Z has been put on 595 00:31:20,240 --> 00:31:24,480 Speaker 4: the list conditioned to no like not now I'm like 596 00:31:24,560 --> 00:31:29,040 Speaker 4: ready to time. Gen Z's been conditioned to need instant 597 00:31:29,520 --> 00:31:34,240 Speaker 4: gratification like social media Instagram and now TikTok is just 598 00:31:34,640 --> 00:31:39,080 Speaker 4: it's it's taking that gratification length and just shortening it consistently. 599 00:31:39,640 --> 00:31:43,000 Speaker 4: And I don't know how much shorter it can get, 600 00:31:43,240 --> 00:31:46,840 Speaker 4: but just learning and don't feel pressured to practice gratitude 601 00:31:46,880 --> 00:31:49,560 Speaker 4: the way you think you should be doing it. 602 00:31:49,560 --> 00:31:50,200 Speaker 2: It can be as. 603 00:31:50,080 --> 00:31:53,560 Speaker 4: Simple as just dancing around the house and being like 604 00:31:53,640 --> 00:31:54,240 Speaker 4: I love my. 605 00:31:54,200 --> 00:31:57,360 Speaker 1: Life, being in the present, just endure a diary. 606 00:31:57,560 --> 00:32:03,080 Speaker 2: I love my life. Here are the five I'm grateful for. No, 607 00:32:03,240 --> 00:32:04,360 Speaker 2: have you seen that TikTok? 608 00:32:04,640 --> 00:32:04,760 Speaker 4: No? 609 00:32:06,560 --> 00:32:08,000 Speaker 2: Oh my god, I'm going to have to play it 610 00:32:08,240 --> 00:32:12,320 Speaker 2: right now. I love my diary, I love my life. 611 00:32:14,560 --> 00:32:17,120 Speaker 2: I can't say I see this single TikTok with that sound. 612 00:32:17,240 --> 00:32:17,800 Speaker 2: Oh my god. 613 00:32:17,880 --> 00:32:20,080 Speaker 1: So what they do is they do dear diary, I 614 00:32:20,080 --> 00:32:21,840 Speaker 1: love my life. And then there's a whole bunch of 615 00:32:21,840 --> 00:32:23,480 Speaker 1: snippets of like cool things they're doing. 616 00:32:24,800 --> 00:32:26,200 Speaker 2: That's a way to make one of them a week. 617 00:32:27,640 --> 00:32:29,640 Speaker 1: It's like you look back at your week, you're like, yeah, 618 00:32:30,160 --> 00:32:33,360 Speaker 1: not not really a vibe, but anyway, we got on 619 00:32:34,000 --> 00:32:38,240 Speaker 1: a tangent. But yeah, yeah, I think you can do both. 620 00:32:38,280 --> 00:32:40,720 Speaker 1: And I think also this person has a lot of 621 00:32:40,800 --> 00:32:46,920 Speaker 1: guilt around wanting more, and I say, fuck that, No, 622 00:32:47,000 --> 00:32:48,840 Speaker 1: you can want more and it's okay. 623 00:32:48,920 --> 00:32:52,160 Speaker 2: But also, relish in the becunning becunning. 624 00:32:52,320 --> 00:32:55,560 Speaker 1: Oh wow, relish in the becoming, because that's where the 625 00:32:55,560 --> 00:33:03,280 Speaker 1: good shit is, all right, Atya, thanks so much for 626 00:33:03,400 --> 00:33:07,120 Speaker 1: joining me in this Georgie's Hotline episode. I appreciated your 627 00:33:07,160 --> 00:33:08,960 Speaker 1: little tidbits of advice. 628 00:33:09,160 --> 00:33:09,960 Speaker 2: Thanks for having me. 629 00:33:10,880 --> 00:33:13,959 Speaker 1: It's good to like actually chat to someone to know 630 00:33:14,000 --> 00:33:15,040 Speaker 1: that what I'm thinking. 631 00:33:15,760 --> 00:33:18,640 Speaker 2: Yeah, just not like a monologue talking to the wall. 632 00:33:19,280 --> 00:33:19,760 Speaker 2: Beg guys. 633 00:33:19,800 --> 00:33:24,680 Speaker 1: I hope you enjoyed our fun little new segment Georgie's Hotline. 634 00:33:25,080 --> 00:33:28,080 Speaker 1: If you, guys do have a life question or a dilemma, 635 00:33:28,680 --> 00:33:33,680 Speaker 1: please jump into our DMS. The podcast instagram is Rise 636 00:33:33,720 --> 00:33:35,840 Speaker 1: and Conquer Dot Podcast. 637 00:33:36,400 --> 00:33:37,320 Speaker 2: Don't jump into my. 638 00:33:37,280 --> 00:33:40,520 Speaker 1: Personal DMS because honestly it's a shit show and I 639 00:33:40,600 --> 00:33:42,960 Speaker 1: want to be able to answer your question. Jump into 640 00:33:42,960 --> 00:33:47,920 Speaker 1: the podcast DMS and you might be featured on Georgie's Hotline. 641 00:33:48,320 --> 00:33:49,160 Speaker 2: Until next time. 642 00:33:49,320 --> 00:33:53,080 Speaker 1: I will chat to you guys in our Tuesday episode. 643 00:33:53,160 --> 00:33:59,280 Speaker 1: It is another juicy solo podcasts Knowledge is Power episode. 644 00:33:59,720 --> 00:34:01,320 Speaker 2: Chat to you then. 645 00:34:04,640 --> 00:34:08,160 Speaker 1: Thank you so much for listening to another episode of 646 00:34:08,200 --> 00:34:11,359 Speaker 1: the Rise and Conquer Podcast. If you enjoyed it and 647 00:34:11,440 --> 00:34:15,760 Speaker 1: want more, come connect with us on Instagram at Riseinconquer 648 00:34:16,000 --> 00:34:19,919 Speaker 1: dot podcast and join our Facebook discussion group, a Rise 649 00:34:19,960 --> 00:34:21,759 Speaker 1: and concer podcast community. 650 00:34:22,239 --> 00:34:23,640 Speaker 2: We're an independent. 651 00:34:23,160 --> 00:34:25,680 Speaker 1: Podcast and we have a small team, so we do 652 00:34:25,760 --> 00:34:29,040 Speaker 1: appreciate your time and support. If you have a spare moment, 653 00:34:29,120 --> 00:34:32,880 Speaker 1: a follow or subscribe on whatever platform. 654 00:34:32,520 --> 00:34:35,000 Speaker 2: You listen to would be so amazing. 655 00:34:35,520 --> 00:34:38,600 Speaker 1: And look, if you're feeling extra kind. A review on 656 00:34:38,680 --> 00:34:40,720 Speaker 1: Apple podcasts would be great.