Speaker 1: Hi guys, and welcome back to another episode of Life Uncut.
Speaker 1: I'm Brittany and I am also flying solo today. We
Speaker 1: have gone on Christmas slash New Year's holidays, but you
Speaker 1: cannot keep us away.
Speaker 2: We have missed you terribly.
Speaker 1: So we thought to finish off the year, we would
Speaker 1: go back and revisit some of our favorite episodes, some
Speaker 1: of the ones that we think maybe you new listeners
Speaker 1: haven't listened to yet, or maybe there's an episode that
Speaker 1: we reference a lot that you have no idea what
Speaker 1: we're talking about, so that is what we're going to do.
Speaker 1: I find it hilarious when I listen back two episodes
Speaker 1: from the beginning, from when we were little babies, when
Speaker 1: we had no idea what we were doing. Laura and
Speaker 1: I would like stumble into the studio. We didn't know
Speaker 1: what any of the buttons were. We were googling. We
Speaker 1: literally used to sit in the studio and YouTube how
Speaker 1: to podcast. Then we would take pictures of the podcast
Speaker 1: machine and we were like trying to compare it to
Speaker 1: online manuals. It was actually so funny. I look back
Speaker 1: and I laugh hard. But the episode that I have
Speaker 1: picked today to revisit is one that we get a
Speaker 1: lot of questions about, one that we reference a lot,
Speaker 1: and I guess it's a really big part of my
Speaker 1: life and who I am. It makes me who I am,
Speaker 1: and it really has carved the path for getting me
Speaker 1: to this point of my life, and it's very important
Speaker 1: to me. And it was a really big deal for
Speaker 1: me to open up and speak about it when we did.
Speaker 1: I'm really proud of the fact that I was open
Speaker 1: enough and strong enough to talk about it. And I
Speaker 1: know how many people it helped at the time, because
Speaker 1: I had hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of people right
Speaker 1: to me saying thank you so much for openly talking
Speaker 1: about it, because I didn't realize, you know, I was
Speaker 1: in this relationship, or I thought I was the only
Speaker 1: one that was in this relationship. And you've made me
Speaker 1: realize that, you know, it's not embarrassing when these things
Speaker 1: happened to you, and it's not a reflection on you.
Speaker 1: And that was really important for me to know that
Speaker 1: the content that we're putting out there and the fact
Speaker 1: that we are bearing a part of our soul is
Speaker 1: helping other people. It's literally why Laura and I do it.
Speaker 1: We have had some really hard conversations in the last
Speaker 1: year and a half on the podcast, and the reason
Speaker 1: we do do it is knowing that we help others.
Speaker 1: So the episode that we're revisiting now, it is way
Speaker 1: back when from season one. It was our third ever
Speaker 1: episode and it's called so I Dated a Sociopath, So
Speaker 1: it revisits my story and a very tumultuous few years
Speaker 1: of literally me dating a sociopath. I dated someone with
Speaker 1: a double life. If you guys are.
Speaker 2: OG listeners, you'll know that.
Speaker 1: If you're new listeners, you'll probably hear that we reference
Speaker 1: this episode a lot because it definitely has set a
Speaker 1: standard for you know, why I am like I am,
Speaker 1: maybe why I have been single for the last what
Speaker 1: eight years or something nine years? I don't know now
Speaker 1: it feels like forever, but it did, you know, it
Speaker 1: definitely set me on a path where I had to
Speaker 1: rethink a lot of things. And you can listen to
Speaker 1: the episode now. Obviously, I feel like if I did
Speaker 1: it again now, if I re told the episode, I
Speaker 1: think I would do it differently, and I think I
Speaker 1: would probably go into more detail and probably be more
Speaker 1: open about it. But it's already done and it's already
Speaker 1: out there.
Speaker 2: But that.
Speaker 1: Horrible, tumultuous, two years, toxic, two years of my life.
Speaker 1: I have no regrets, and I think this is something
Speaker 1: that I really want to drive home and I want
Speaker 1: people to know that. You know, a lot of people
Speaker 1: say to me, I'm sorry that happened to you. I'm
Speaker 1: sorry you had to go through this situation, But in
Speaker 1: a word, I'm not sorry, because nothing else would have
Speaker 1: happened that has happened.
Speaker 2: I would not be here.
Speaker 1: I would not be here I am. I would not
Speaker 1: have had the experiences that I have had.
Speaker 2: Because of that.
Speaker 1: I sold my house, I sold everything I owned, and
Speaker 1: I went on this three year around the world trip,
Speaker 1: like literally with my sister. We had the most amazing
Speaker 1: three years. I definitely would not have done that if
Speaker 1: it wasn't for this relationship. I went on The Bachelor,
Speaker 1: which again put me on another trajectory and carved out
Speaker 1: my life in a whole different way. That led me
Speaker 1: to Laura and to the podcast and to other opportunities.
Speaker 1: And I really do think it's like a knock on effect.
Speaker 1: I don't think any of that would have happened if
Speaker 1: this one event didn't happen to me. So that's something
Speaker 1: that I like to carry through life. I like to
Speaker 1: look at life in a very particular way, and I
Speaker 1: try not to regret things if I don't have to.
Speaker 1: I try and look favorably on experiences, on bad experiences,
Speaker 1: and take something positive from that. And I think that's
Speaker 1: really important. If you can look at any bad situation
Speaker 1: and transform it in your mind and make something positive
Speaker 1: out of it, learn something from it, grow from it.
Speaker 1: I think that is an amazing characteristic to have and
Speaker 1: it will literally change the rest of your life. So, guys,
Speaker 1: enough rambling from me. We really miss you. Guys. We
Speaker 1: are so excited to come back in twenty twenty one,
Speaker 1: which crazily enough is in a couple of days, which
Speaker 1: still blows my mind. Big thank you to everyone that
Speaker 1: has been listening from the beginning. To all your new listeners,
Speaker 1: welcome to life. I'm cut, we absolutely love you. Twenty
Speaker 1: twenty one is going to bring so many good things.
Speaker 3: For all of us.
Speaker 1: I feel it in my bones, and we have some
Speaker 1: really exciting things lined up. So guys, strap in, enjoy
Speaker 1: the episode. If you want to re listen to again,
Speaker 1: I hope you take something from it. If you want
Speaker 1: to share it if you learn anything from it, we
Speaker 1: love that as well, and we will be seeing you
Speaker 1: very very soon.
Speaker 3: He's out.
Speaker 1: Hey, guys, and welcome to another episode of Life Uncut.
Speaker 1: I'm Laura and I'm Brittany.
Speaker 2: And today we have a real doozy of an episode
Speaker 2: for you. I think it's fair to say that most
Speaker 2: people have experienced some sort of toxic relationship in their life,
Speaker 2: whether it be with a family member, with a coworker,
Speaker 2: or in their own personal relationships. Today, someone very close
Speaker 2: to me is going to be sharing their experience with
Speaker 2: the toxic relationship. And that person is so close to me,
Speaker 2: she is close enough that I can smell her. Please,
Speaker 2: don't do you want me to work pretty early in
Speaker 2: the morning. Have you showered yet?
Speaker 1: I actually haven't known.
Speaker 2: No, No, it's okay. It's five point thirty in the
Speaker 2: morning right now. And this is the only time we
Speaker 2: had to get this podcast done so on a hustle. Guys,
Speaker 2: britt is going to be sharing with us a pretty
Speaker 2: huge dating story and how she's dealt with this toxic
Speaker 2: relationship in her life and how it's shaped her. And
Speaker 2: I'm really really proud of her for sharing this, and
Speaker 2: I'm actually really excited for her to share this with
Speaker 2: all of you. Not because it is an exciting story.
Speaker 2: It is actually really quite a traumatic story. But I
Speaker 2: think that there are a lot of points from this
Speaker 2: that are going to relate to a lot of people
Speaker 2: who may find themselves in similar situations or find themselves
Speaker 2: in other toxic relationships. But before we get into the
Speaker 2: thick of it, britt I know you watched The Bachelor.
Speaker 1: Of course, I I'm only human.
Speaker 2: Give me your low down. What do you reckon? Right?
Speaker 1: Well, we did speak about it last week. I openly
Speaker 1: love Matt.
Speaker 2: You love him? Yeah, I think Matt agnew. Just so
Speaker 2: you know, if you didn't pick anyone, Brittany loves you the.
Speaker 1: End, I thought you were clarified.
Speaker 2: I'm going to send him in a cinema text. I'm
Speaker 2: going to slide into his DMS and let him know
Speaker 2: I have a sneaky suspicion the man is very in love,
Speaker 2: which I'm stoked for because that's what the show's about.
Speaker 2: Don't say you're stoked, it's a lie. She's actually heartbroken.
Speaker 2: But you know what, we're still pretty excited about the
Speaker 2: show itself.
Speaker 1: So yeah, I did watch it. Did you watch it.
Speaker 2: Yes, okay, So we were away for the week and
Speaker 2: I made my sister book an airbnb that had TV
Speaker 2: free to air. I was there. We couldn't go out
Speaker 2: for dinner because I was watching The Bachelor.
Speaker 1: It's a dedication, isn't it?
Speaker 2: Very much? So?
Speaker 1: So, what did you think of the first lot of girls,
Speaker 1: because obviously it was they came in two lots over
Speaker 1: two nights. What was your initial just go your initial overthought?
Speaker 2: I love them, I love them all. No, I think
Speaker 2: that it's been cast so well. We said this in
Speaker 2: the last episode, but this season seems to really have
Speaker 2: characters and I like that. I like that there is
Speaker 2: the villain. But she kind of came in as the
Speaker 2: crazy bride and yeah, I get a real cure vibe
Speaker 2: from her.
Speaker 1: Do you know what I love? I love that she
Speaker 1: brought her best friend in as the bridesmaid. But I'm
Speaker 1: pretty sure Matt got confused and thought it was a contestant.
Speaker 2: Did anyone else hear her call her friend a bitch face? Though?
Speaker 2: Did you see that best friend goals? I'm like, oh,
Speaker 2: that is I don't know how you're gonna feel being
Speaker 2: the best friend watching that back. Speaking of toxic relationships.
Speaker 2: Don't let your friend call your bitch face. It's not nice.
Speaker 1: Yeah, remove yourself from that immediately.
Speaker 2: So okay, if you had to pick your top girls,
Speaker 2: who are they off the bat?
Speaker 1: Okay? So I think eleanor So she was the girl
Speaker 1: from Mauritius.
Speaker 2: Yeah, she's French.
Speaker 1: Yeah, she looks beautiful.
Speaker 2: Oh you mean cream that one?
Speaker 1: I like her?
Speaker 2: Oh Cream? No, I liked her.
Speaker 1: She seemed super normal. She was beautiful. I think Ellie.
Speaker 1: She won me over with the marshmallow campfire.
Speaker 2: Elle everyone everyone over. She's the dream.
Speaker 1: She was just so sweet. I think we'll see her
Speaker 1: in the end.
Speaker 2: I'm worried that I'm gonna get Nikki Gogan. She's amazing,
Speaker 2: she'll be potentially, Yeah, we have to prepare our hearts
Speaker 2: for that. Or maybe she's the girl, Maybe she's she
Speaker 2: won't be. You know who I love. I love the
Speaker 2: girl from Rio. I just think her narrating of this
Speaker 2: season so far, with the Kelly hair. I want to
Speaker 2: be best friends with her and I want her to
Speaker 2: narrate my life so funny.
Speaker 1: Yeah, she's a cutie. She's got really glowy skin.
Speaker 2: Yeah, now Britt's creeping on her hos well, do you
Speaker 2: know what else I like about this season? I like
Speaker 2: that they've brought in the intruders, and they've brought them
Speaker 2: in at the very beginning, because normally there's this sense
Speaker 2: that an intruder can't win the show because the intruders
Speaker 2: haven't had enough time with the bachelor. Yeah, I mean,
Speaker 2: I do think it's been from the few of the
Speaker 2: girls dropped their comments, and just how we know filming
Speaker 2: is I think it's been about a week. It was
Speaker 2: only night two, but I reckon the girls had about
Speaker 2: a week in there before the intruders came in, But
Speaker 2: that's nothing. Only in a week, only one person's probably
Speaker 2: had a single date so far, so most people are
Speaker 2: pretty much on an even playing field.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: I really like that instead of bringing the intruders in
Speaker 2: three quarters the way through, which they normally do, just
Speaker 2: to try and spice things up for the viewer. There's
Speaker 2: no way that an intruder's gonna win if they've only
Speaker 2: got two weeks to spend with the guy, of course. Yeah,
Speaker 2: So bringing them in at the beginning it means that
Speaker 2: we still have that injection of new girls.
Speaker 1: Do you know what I think is funny?
Speaker 2: Though? One of them could win.
Speaker 1: Yeah, And I love how it's old girls first new girls.
Speaker 1: And I love how the old girls are like, we're
Speaker 1: the old girls. You can't come in here. And I
Speaker 1: was like, babes, it's been one episode.
Speaker 2: It's been one but you know what, they've been in
Speaker 2: there for a week, so they already start to feel
Speaker 2: like they've got their click and they've got their groove
Speaker 2: of what's happening in the house. So I can kind
Speaker 2: of understand that we never had intruders on our season
Speaker 2: at all. No. None. I don't know why. I don't
Speaker 2: know whether it was a call from production or where
Speaker 2: the Matt had said that he didn't want intruders, but
Speaker 2: we never ever had any.
Speaker 1: Sometimes I feel like they get halfway and they're like, oh,
Speaker 1: we need to spice this up.
Speaker 2: What did you think of the date with sigand the
Speaker 2: first single date.
Speaker 1: Yeah, to be honest, I was a bit on the
Speaker 1: fence about it because I thought it was super over
Speaker 1: the top, as in, like what they were doing was
Speaker 1: over the top. Well, I don't know, I just didn't
Speaker 1: feel like I saw enough of them actually talking. Oh
Speaker 1: my god, thank you, so I actually met think you
Speaker 1: I'm made a comment on Instagram. I was sort of
Speaker 1: doing some Instagram stories, mainly of me eating looking distressed.
Speaker 1: I said, did I just blink and miss the whole
Speaker 1: chat because I didn't see anything.
Speaker 2: So I was actually looking at the social media pages
Speaker 2: for the date from the bachelor's instagram and everyone was saying,
Speaker 2: this is the most romantic date I've ever seen. Their
Speaker 2: perfect together. I honestly don't think I heard them say
Speaker 2: one sentence other than other than the one bit where
Speaker 2: Segun said, this is so beautiful, I'm speechless, and I
Speaker 2: was like, girl, you've been speechless.
Speaker 1: This whole day.
Speaker 2: You hadn't said one word.
Speaker 1: And also the orchestra, I didn't even hear them play,
Speaker 1: but they looked great in the background.
Speaker 2: I just didn't see them have any actual chemistry. Yeah,
Speaker 2: in the helicopter, they didn't actually have any conversation at all.
Speaker 2: They were just enjoying the view. And I think she
Speaker 2: did open up a little bit towards the end about
Speaker 2: how she'd been first seven years, which is how we
Speaker 2: ended up getting into our conversation for today.
Speaker 1: But that was the only thing.
Speaker 2: But that was the only thing, and I don't know
Speaker 2: if that was enough to be able to say that
Speaker 2: they had this real chemistry.
Speaker 1: I'm glad you said that, because I thought I must
Speaker 1: have just had a micro sleep and missed the whole thing.
Speaker 1: But no, not just me.
Speaker 2: It didn't have a micro sleep. I honestly I wasn't
Speaker 2: sold on that first single date, to be honest, nor
Speaker 2: was I.
Speaker 1: Also, where did they get changed in the bush? That's
Speaker 1: my point behind of it. Wind and where did the
Speaker 1: dress come from? Matt? I'm sorry when they say Matt
Speaker 1: set that up. You did not put that dresser.
Speaker 2: Oh, come, we allt don't. Don't ruin the smoke and mirrors.
Speaker 2: The Bachelor organizes all the dates, actually, do you know what?
Speaker 2: I can say this and attest to this. The Bachelor
Speaker 2: has a very very big say on every single date.
Speaker 2: I know that there's this like rumor out there that
Speaker 2: all the dates are done by production. The Bachelor actually
Speaker 2: gets to dictate very much the plan of the date.
Speaker 1: Yes, and just I'm just taking it.
Speaker 2: She's hateful because she thinks Matt's in love and it's
Speaker 2: not with Britt. I can give you that spoiler Matt
Speaker 2: and Britt do not end up together.
Speaker 3: Spoiler.
Speaker 2: So okay, So we got talking after the Bachelor and
Speaker 2: if you've listened to our first episode, you would know
Speaker 2: that Britt touched on the fact that she has been
Speaker 2: single for seven years, which for some people might sound crazy,
Speaker 2: because Britt, you have everything going for you, why are
Speaker 2: you single? And I know that that's really an offensive
Speaker 2: thing to be asked.
Speaker 1: No, it's not offensive, it's just that it wears you
Speaker 1: down sometimes when a lot of people ask you over
Speaker 1: and over and over again for seven really.
Speaker 2: But often there's a reason. Maybe you've chosen that, maybe
Speaker 2: you haven't met the right guy yet, but you have
Speaker 2: quite a good reason up until this point as to
Speaker 2: why you carved out some time for yourself.
Speaker 1: Correct, Laura, thanks for asking.
Speaker 2: I am asking, and I really, I mean, I really
Speaker 2: want to approach this sensitively for you, So I really
Speaker 2: kind of want to give you the microphone a little
Speaker 2: bit and lead into this conversation however you feel most
Speaker 2: comfortable as well.
Speaker 1: I am. To be honest, I'm pretty open and comfortable
Speaker 1: talking about this now, but I never have really voiced
Speaker 1: it on a national platform before I got to the
Speaker 1: point where I started to talk a lot about it
Speaker 1: with my friends, and I did mention it to Nick
Speaker 1: on The Bachelor, but we didn't go quite into depth
Speaker 1: because I had said I just wanted to skim the
Speaker 1: surface with it and I didn't want to be airing
Speaker 1: my dirty laundry on national television.
Speaker 2: Did you take a little while to sort of process
Speaker 2: the fact that your whole life was going to be
Speaker 2: in the public, I one hundred percent did. Okay, Yeah,
Speaker 2: and I definitely was not going on there for a
Speaker 2: well is me and this is my story, Otherwise I
Speaker 2: would have told it. Yeah.
Speaker 1: So I do have an interesting story and I want
Speaker 1: to help people that might be in this situation because
Speaker 1: I do think it's going to be a lot more common.
Speaker 1: And essentially that is well, to put it simply, I
Speaker 1: dated a sociopath.
Speaker 2: Yeah, so there it is. That is the end. Thank
Speaker 2: you listening to our podcasts. And look, I don't think
Speaker 2: that it's fair to throw around the term sociopath really
Speaker 2: nearly because we don't have any sort of degrees, we
Speaker 2: don't have qualifications in this. But I think once you
Speaker 2: listen to this story that Britt is going to share,
Speaker 2: it's pretty hard to say that this person or individual
Speaker 2: who made these decisions doesn't display sociopathic tendencies.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and clinically I know that this person is. Now.
Speaker 1: I mean, people use sociopath and psychopath interchangeably, but they
Speaker 1: are different. Also, there's this big common misconception that both
Speaker 1: are these violent, horrible murderers that we see on TV
Speaker 1: thanks to people like shows like Criminal Minds.
Speaker 2: Of course, but I think that there are a lot
Speaker 2: of people who are very high functioning and who have
Speaker 2: amazing jobs, and they can maintain some solid relationships, but
Speaker 2: they dip into being very narcissistic or they display those
Speaker 2: tendencies without necessarily having to be full blown.
Speaker 1: Yeah, so there's a narcissistic personality disorder that sort of
Speaker 1: goes hand in hand with a sociopath. Yes, usually they
Speaker 1: share very similar characteristics, character traits. And I think we're
Speaker 1: gonna call him Luke. Okay, his name was not Luke.
Speaker 2: And this whole episode is not about trying to trying
Speaker 2: to make a victim out of a certain person, So
Speaker 2: you want to keep him anonymous.
Speaker 1: This isn't about calling somebody out about awareness. It's It's
Speaker 1: not a revenge podcast by any means. Definitely not.
Speaker 2: So let's start the story.
Speaker 1: This is the reason I've been single basically for seven years.
Speaker 1: I met Luke at work and Luke is he was
Speaker 1: the most beautiful charismatic. He could sell water to fish.
Speaker 1: The guy could he could do anything he wanted. He
Speaker 1: could convince you of anything, and you would. He had
Speaker 1: this air of confidence where he would walk down the
Speaker 1: corridor and whether you were attracted to him or not,
Speaker 1: you looked at him.
Speaker 2: Do you know those people? Yes, just an a real energy, just.
Speaker 1: The way they carry themselves, and a little bit egotistical
Speaker 1: that came out later.
Speaker 2: But so sometimes that's attractive in someone as well, you know,
Speaker 2: having like a little bit of arrogance, especially if they're
Speaker 2: in a powerful job, that can be really attractive. I
Speaker 2: know I have sort of been drawn towards that in
Speaker 2: a person before.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's just that maybe if they sit at about
Speaker 1: seventy to eighty percent of arrogance, yeah, not about one
Speaker 1: hundred and fifty seven, which is what Luke was sitting at. Anyway,
Speaker 1: So this is quite a long story, so I'm just
Speaker 1: gonna try and give you the main points. He approached
Speaker 1: me and basically told me I was beautiful, taught me
Speaker 1: everything I wanted to hear. We started dating immediately, and
Speaker 1: within about three and a half four weeks he was
Speaker 1: telling me he loved me, which is very fast in hindsight,
Speaker 1: but of course I was just smitten, so I said
Speaker 1: I loved him back. And it was intense. It was
Speaker 1: the most intense relationship. I cannot even describe it. There
Speaker 1: were probably seventy to eighty messages a day, usually from him.
Speaker 1: I would respond, obviously, but and they were via so
Speaker 1: many different medias, phones, emails. He'd be popping in to
Speaker 1: see me at work. And when you're in this new
Speaker 1: love and this new infatuation, you just think, this is
Speaker 1: the best thing since sliced bread. Someone cares about me
Speaker 1: that much, someone's so interested in me, And we delved
Speaker 1: into the most intense relationship ever. Let's just say, hindsight's
Speaker 1: a beautiful thing. So we're going to fast forward a
Speaker 1: few years and then we'll come back. I found out
Speaker 1: he had a double life. So after two years we
Speaker 1: were getting married, he'd taken me to Tiffany's. He'd convinced
Speaker 1: me to get this Rhodesian ridgeback dog. We're buying his
Speaker 1: house in Melbourne.
Speaker 2: You really had set up a life for each other,
Speaker 2: a life.
Speaker 1: We had chosen our kids' names. It was really intense,
Speaker 1: but it.
Speaker 2: Also sounds like the beginning of your li relationship. He
Speaker 2: just completely love bombed you, which is.
Speaker 1: What you said in episode one.
Speaker 2: Yeah, which is like a real way of just making
Speaker 2: someone feel completely adored, and that level of adoration is addictive.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I did. I felt like the most amazing person
Speaker 1: in the world, Like he would not look at another person.
Speaker 1: And all of this, I would like to say, was
Speaker 1: coming from him. All these plans were his, so he
Speaker 1: always made these huge romantic gestures as well. But to
Speaker 1: go with that, there were a lot of downsides, but
Speaker 1: I always let them slide. So there was a lot
Speaker 1: of really last minute canceling weekends away because we lived separately,
Speaker 1: and he did have a very high powered, high pressured position,
Speaker 1: and it was very easy for him to say within
Speaker 1: ten minutes, I can't make it. I'm at work, I've
Speaker 1: been called I have to go, and you sort of
Speaker 1: sit back and think, oh, okay, well, you know he's
Speaker 1: out there doing this amazing thing, so we'll let that go.
Speaker 1: But I had this constant like disappointment. I was always
Speaker 1: every week there was something. But I loved him so much,
Speaker 1: so I made an excuse. The job is how he
Speaker 1: got away with it for so long. He Also he
Speaker 1: didn't have social media, which wasn't the end of the world,
Speaker 1: because this was quite a while ago. It was quite
Speaker 1: new to everybody. But he somehow always knew what I
Speaker 1: was doing and where I was and what I'd done
Speaker 1: the day before, if I hadn't even told him yet.
Speaker 2: So do you think maybe he did have social media
Speaker 2: and he just had a different profile or something, or
Speaker 2: had a way of keeping tabs on you.
Speaker 1: Yes, he did. Turns out he had been, for want
Speaker 1: of a better word, almost talking me, I guess, from
Speaker 1: day one, to the point that he would even make
Speaker 1: up fake emails, fake email accounts to email me to
Speaker 1: test me if I would maybe go on a date
Speaker 1: with him, not knowing who he was.
Speaker 2: Wow.
Speaker 1: So one day I put a picture up of me
Speaker 1: in swimwear with a bunch of my friends at the beach.
Speaker 1: We'd been surfy, and he's not on social media. Almost
Speaker 1: within half an hour I got a message from him saying,
Speaker 1: have you been putting bikini photos up? Brittany? And I said,
Speaker 1: excuse me, Like, what are you talking to? Like?
Speaker 2: Low key controlling? You should be able to put whatever, yeah,
Speaker 2: whatever you want up of yourself on your social media
Speaker 2: page without having to think how that's going to be.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and I said, I'm sorry, how do you even
Speaker 1: know that? I said, yeah, I put a photo up
Speaker 1: at the beach and he had. He told me, and
Speaker 1: he showed me the email he forwarded to me, an
Speaker 1: email that he got from someone anonymous saying the most
Speaker 1: horrible things about what they wanted to do to me
Speaker 1: from seeing this photo. So, yeah, so I was disgusted
Speaker 1: because I had seen this email that someone had written him.
Speaker 1: And he said, how do you think this makes me
Speaker 1: feel britt like knowing people are out there seeing this
Speaker 1: photo and they want to do these things too. So
Speaker 1: he made me delete my social media because of that,
Speaker 1: because he made me feel like there was these really
Speaker 1: disgusting men. And it turns out he just had these
Speaker 1: fake accounts and he used to he used to just
Speaker 1: make people up write emails to himself so he could
Speaker 1: forward them to me to control me. It got to
Speaker 1: that point.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Wow.
Speaker 1: Fast forwarding two years and it comes out coincidentally that
Speaker 1: through this mutual friend that didn't know both of us existed,
Speaker 1: it came out that Luke was marrying someone else at
Speaker 1: the same time.
Speaker 2: So he was literally living a double life.
Speaker 1: He was literally living a double life.
Speaker 2: And how was he doing this? So you were based
Speaker 2: in Melbourne.
Speaker 1: Now I was in Port McQuary, Okay, he was in
Speaker 1: Newcastle and his other partner was in Melbourne, so she
Speaker 1: had quite a high profile job too, and that's the
Speaker 1: only reason he could really pull it off.
Speaker 2: So the tyranny of distance made it easier for him
Speaker 2: to be able to sort of have a life set
Speaker 2: up in Port McCrory and have a secondary life set up,
Speaker 2: and he just kind of could float between the two
Speaker 2: of them because of his occupation.
Speaker 1: So every second weekend we would go to his place,
Speaker 1: this beautiful house on the beach, and he would change
Speaker 1: the whole house, pack it up, change it so it
Speaker 1: was suitable for me. My photos, my clothes, my cosmetics,
Speaker 1: everything I left, And then I would leave and turns
Speaker 1: out he'd have to pack the whole house up and
Speaker 1: hide it and reset the house for how his other
Speaker 1: partner had it. And he did this every weekend for
Speaker 1: two years.
Speaker 2: Brett, this is insane. This is actually an insane story. Yeah,
Speaker 2: And the fact that you were such an intelligent woman
Speaker 2: to think that you had the will pull it over
Speaker 2: your eyes really makes me think if this could happen
Speaker 2: to anyone. This isn't something that's isolated to you. Definitely,
Speaker 2: if somebody wants to purposely deceive you, and if somebody
Speaker 2: wants to lie, then I think this can honestly happen
Speaker 2: to anyone.
Speaker 1: Well, it turns out the way the way to successfully lie,
Speaker 1: apparently is to try to keep as close to the
Speaker 1: truth as possible. Yeah, but he was setting up lives
Speaker 1: to the point of, we had a o Adesian ridge back,
Speaker 1: and he and her had a Ohodsian ridge back, and
Speaker 1: we were buying the same house, and they were buying
Speaker 1: the same house. We were Wow. We both wore the
Speaker 1: same perfumes. He made us, He bought us all the
Speaker 1: same presents. He wrote to us, Chris cards and letters
Speaker 1: that were word for word identical. I know this because
Speaker 1: I became friends with this woman. But they were to
Speaker 1: the point of, let's call her Emma. There were a
Speaker 1: point she was of sort of Asian descent, and I'm
Speaker 1: obviously blue eyed Caucasian. He would say, dear Brittany, I
Speaker 1: can't wait to have children. I hope they have your eyes.
Speaker 1: But then her letter would be like, dear Emma, I
Speaker 1: can't wait to have children with you. I hope they
Speaker 1: have your eyes. We've got different eyes, I mean completely,
Speaker 1: but the same same sentiment. So wait, hold up and
Speaker 1: rewind when you said you became friends with her, you
Speaker 1: can't just say that and throw that into the conversation
Speaker 1: because if this is me, she would be ten foot underground,
Speaker 1: which I know it's not her fault. How did you
Speaker 1: become friends with her? Okay? So he had told me
Speaker 1: he had this ex girlfriend. Yea, he said he'd been
Speaker 1: with her a long time.
Speaker 2: They broke up.
Speaker 1: Then he met me, and I was the love of
Speaker 1: his life. It came out at dinner with this mutual
Speaker 1: friend that Emma was very much still around.
Speaker 2: So how did you know this mutual friend? And did you?
Speaker 1: Okay?
Speaker 2: Right right?
Speaker 1: They were new to work and they had worked with
Speaker 1: Luke previously, but they were so new that I hadn't
Speaker 1: gotten to the point of saying, hey, so this is
Speaker 1: my life. I'm dating Luke. So we just didn't even
Speaker 1: know each other existed, like we didn't know, and he
Speaker 1: accidentally just dropped it to another friend. He said, hey,
Speaker 1: have you been to Luke's when he's missus cooks? She's
Speaker 1: so good And I knew that that was my Luke,
Speaker 1: and I thought, hang on, I've never met you and
Speaker 1: I've never cooked for you. So I just played dumb
Speaker 1: for a second. It took me two seconds. My heart
Speaker 1: dropped and two years flashed before my eyes. Everything was
Speaker 1: adding up like it was just like it clicked over.
Speaker 1: Everything made sense for two years. I thought, oh my god.
Speaker 2: And so when you were sitting there at this dinner,
Speaker 2: did you say anything to the people that were there?
Speaker 1: Yeah, so I probably looked a bit of psycho for
Speaker 1: a second. I played it cool, and I thought, I'm.
Speaker 2: Just gonna you could not even compare to how psycho
Speaker 2: I would have looked.
Speaker 1: So I just played a call for a second because
Speaker 1: I knew as soon as I told them they were
Speaker 1: not gonna give me any more information. So I said, oh, Luke,
Speaker 1: you know that works at XX And he was like yeah,
Speaker 1: So I thought he was single and he said, oh no, no,
Speaker 1: he's been with this missus Emma for like six years.
Speaker 1: They're getting married. Did you just hear that? Then? That
Speaker 1: was my heartbreaking. I'm not sure i've heard it.
Speaker 2: That was mine. I actually can't even imagine.
Speaker 1: Yeah, So there was this table of people sitting there
Speaker 1: and I just I ended up losing it. I got
Speaker 1: I was like so erratic. I stood up and I
Speaker 1: had my phone and I was like, I'm marrying Luke.
Speaker 1: I've been with Luke for two years. Like who the
Speaker 1: hell is this girl? And I was frantically like swiping
Speaker 1: photos in front of their face, showing them all like
Speaker 1: just all photos.
Speaker 2: Of us on holiday to try and prove, like not
Speaker 2: even trying to show them how well.
Speaker 1: Just justify the day. I wasn't a psycho, but of
Speaker 1: course I had a yeah that I had a life
Speaker 1: with this person and their face, this guy's face, I'll
Speaker 1: never forget it. He just looked at me with so
Speaker 1: much sympathy.
Speaker 2: I'm so sorry.
Speaker 1: I promised you. I did not know. I don't really
Speaker 1: know what to say to you, and I just said,
Speaker 1: you're gonna have to excuse me, throw my cutlery down,
Speaker 1: stormed out of this restaurant.
Speaker 2: And so when you found out and you said that
Speaker 2: everything flashed before your eyes, did you sort of have
Speaker 2: this hindsight that things weren't right and things didn't add up?
Speaker 1: Oh? Definitely. I felt so ridiculous and so angry at
Speaker 1: myself because there were so many signs and my sister Sherry,
Speaker 1: who were so close. She would never straight out say
Speaker 1: I hate this person, don't date them, but she was
Speaker 1: constantly saying, Brie, this doesn't sound right. Why is he
Speaker 1: why is he canceling last minute? Or why did he
Speaker 1: have a piece of her clothing still? Because that would happen.
Speaker 1: I found something and I you know, I would quiz
Speaker 1: him and I would leave that conversation apologizing to him.
Speaker 1: That's how good he was. Whenever I approached him about anything,
Speaker 1: I would end up apologizing and begging and crying saying
Speaker 1: I'm so sorry, because he would. He's so manipulative.
Speaker 2: He would be able to flip it around and make
Speaker 2: it did get your problem? Like gaslight? You too felt like, oh,
Speaker 2: I can't ask these questions, and.
Speaker 1: He had an answer to everything, Like he had this
Speaker 1: huge house. Oh, she must have left it here a
Speaker 1: year ago when we broke up, or always somewhere. I
Speaker 1: thought it was yours and so I didn't throw it
Speaker 1: away all ways. He was so secret of his phone.
Speaker 1: That's another thing, like would not let anyone look at
Speaker 1: his phone. The manipulation in this relationship was next level,
Speaker 1: and it was on so many levels. The abuse was
Speaker 1: on so many levels. But I remember seeing one day
Speaker 1: he was showing me a photo of his work, and
Speaker 1: as he was swiping, I saw a video of me
Speaker 1: and I had never seen it before, and I could
Speaker 1: see that I was nude, and I said, hang on,
Speaker 1: what was that. I was like, oh, nothing, nothing, nothing
Speaker 1: swipe by and I said, no, that was I know
Speaker 1: that was me, and he had filmed us sleeping together.
Speaker 2: Without your concer.
Speaker 1: I had no idea. Wow, and I was like, I
Speaker 1: don't know this, He's not cool, angry. I was just
Speaker 1: really taken aback and I said, I don't know when
Speaker 1: was this And he said, babe, baby, know that you
Speaker 1: know you'd had a few dreams. We'd spoken about it,
Speaker 1: and he ended up convincing me at the end that
Speaker 1: I had somehow agreed to that.
Speaker 2: And I guess the thing is, when you love someone
Speaker 2: and they're lying to you, you want to believe them,
Speaker 2: because it's not in our innate nature to think that
Speaker 2: someone's lying, especially if you're not a liar yourself. Then
Speaker 2: you know you take what's said to you for face value.
Speaker 2: And yes, there may be this underlying niggling, like insecurity
Speaker 2: or something that doesn't quite add up. But if that
Speaker 2: person is manipulative enough, they can make you feel like
Speaker 2: you're the one who's being crazy and you're the one
Speaker 2: who's sabotaging your relationship and you're the one who's making
Speaker 2: issues out of nothing. But the reality is, when it's
Speaker 2: a good relationship and there isn't any lying going on,
Speaker 2: you don't feel crazy. You just don't because there's a
Speaker 2: calmness to the relationship. Whereas I feel like, listening to
Speaker 2: what is going on in your life with this relationship,
Speaker 2: it sounds really frantic. It was.
Speaker 1: There was no calmness ever.
Speaker 2: And high energy all the time.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I just was constantly in the wrong and constantly apologizing.
Speaker 1: So there were a few things like that that happened.
Speaker 1: But so we fast forward. I've just found out and
Speaker 1: I had remembered him telling me because he because this
Speaker 1: friend had said they'd been together six years, this other couple.
Speaker 1: I'd remembered him telling me about his ex girlfriend, So
Speaker 1: it was she was so easy to track down. So
Speaker 1: I just, first of all, I called him. He didn't answer.
Speaker 1: He's never not answered me in his life because he
Speaker 1: was a sporterline obsessed with me. And I just knew
Speaker 1: that the other guy had like, gone, mate, giving you
Speaker 1: a heads up, britt nos.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I he was the intro ye. I called him,
Speaker 2: holy yeah wow. Of course he didn't how to answer
Speaker 2: his phone.
Speaker 1: And he didn't answer, and so I messaged him and said,
Speaker 1: call me immediately, or I'm going to tell fine this
Speaker 1: other woman and tell her. And he called me back
Speaker 1: straight away. And then as the phone was ringing and
Speaker 1: I was looking at it, I thought, do you know
Speaker 1: what stuff you? Why am I even giving you that option.
Speaker 1: I'm just gonna tell her anyway. But I didn't pick
Speaker 1: up for him.
Speaker 2: Do you think you you thought that initially because you
Speaker 2: still love him. You know, love doesn't just stop immediately,
Speaker 2: and even through betrayal, usually the first reaction we have
Speaker 2: is anger, But that is that anger doesn't necessarily mean
Speaker 2: that you have just wiped the love slate clean, like
Speaker 2: you still feel love.
Speaker 1: I it was the most stupid woman, but I loved
Speaker 1: him so much. Even when I had heard that, I
Speaker 1: was still making excuses in my head. As I was
Speaker 1: walking down the street trying to find these girls details,
Speaker 1: I was still making excuses that this has to be wrong.
Speaker 2: Of course, you're not stupid. Your whole identity from two
Speaker 2: years has just been taken away from you. You cannot
Speaker 2: expect yourself to understand or to process that in a
Speaker 2: matter of second. That takes months, if not years, to
Speaker 2: heal from. I think that to be able to kill
Speaker 2: from that, if you ever could heal from that, Because
Speaker 2: the level of dishonesty runs so deep, how do you
Speaker 2: trust someone again?
Speaker 1: It did form a lot of trust issues for a
Speaker 1: long while. It turns out that so I called her
Speaker 1: and we spoke for seven hours, and she was amazing.
Speaker 1: She was incredible, she said. As soon as I told
Speaker 1: her as well, the last two years of things fell
Speaker 1: into place for her. As we're on the phone to
Speaker 1: each other, we're sending each other emails about proof. She's like,
Speaker 1: I believe you, Britt, but can you just forward me
Speaker 1: this just so I can throw it in his face.
Speaker 1: I was sending her emails. I was like, Okay, this
Speaker 1: is the house we're buying. He just emailed it to me.
Speaker 1: She wouldn't get it, she would email me, I wouldn't
Speaker 1: get it. And then in front of our eyes, all
Speaker 1: our emails being deleted. So he was on he already
Speaker 1: had just worked it out, was trying to save his butt.
Speaker 1: He was at his house.
Speaker 2: He was in your email.
Speaker 1: Emails, so I didn't even know he knew my password.
Speaker 1: This is how he had been following me in one
Speaker 1: me for so many years. He knew my passwords. He
Speaker 1: was doing it to her too, so we were like,
Speaker 1: oh my gosh, quickly log out, READO our password. We
Speaker 1: went back in and turns out we were in each
Speaker 1: other's blocked senders. So I didn't know who she was,
Speaker 1: but in my email Emma was blocked and Brittany was
Speaker 1: blocked in hers. He had just thought of everything in
Speaker 1: case we had ever stumbled across each other and thought
Speaker 1: to try and contact each other and never would have
Speaker 1: made it.
Speaker 2: The level of deceit just runs so deeply.
Speaker 1: With this Yeah, he had covered himself on all levels.
Speaker 2: I think that's probably a testament to how intelligent he was.
Speaker 2: I mean, you can use your powers for good or
Speaker 2: for evil, can't you? And this guy really used his
Speaker 2: powers for evil. It's just so selfish.
Speaker 1: We'd be on a holiday, would be overseas, and he
Speaker 1: would force me to leave. One day he said, you
Speaker 1: have to go home. I've got so much work to do.
Speaker 1: You have to go tomorrow. It has to be he
Speaker 1: wouldn't let me stay, and it turns out because she
Speaker 1: would be flying in within an hour of me leaving.
Speaker 1: She would go and they would do their thing. And
Speaker 1: I felt really horrible for her because she had been
Speaker 1: with him for six years. But she was amazing to me.
Speaker 1: We had this amazing friendship. But I ended up having
Speaker 1: I changed my password over the next six months quite
Speaker 1: a lot, and he was constantly I had this. I
Speaker 1: had something on my computer that told me where someone
Speaker 1: was logging in, and he was constantly finding my password
Speaker 1: again and I didn't understand it. I ended up having
Speaker 1: to get somebody that was in military security to look
Speaker 1: on my computer and everything that I typed. I don't
Speaker 1: know what the technical term is, but like a key logger, Yeah,
Speaker 1: it would go to him, so it doesn't matter how
Speaker 1: many times I changed the password.
Speaker 2: So this is actually a thing you can install. It's
Speaker 2: like a spyware, and it key logs all your passwords,
Speaker 2: which I mean your computer does that anyway, but if
Speaker 2: somebody is looking at your computer externally, they can get
Speaker 2: your passwords to your banking or your email, or to
Speaker 2: any of your private data.
Speaker 1: It's absolutely I felt so violated.
Speaker 2: And to think that he had to go to that
Speaker 2: level prior to the fact that you knew. So you
Speaker 2: didn't know for so long, you thought that this was
Speaker 2: a normal relationship, and yet he had already done all
Speaker 2: these different things to try and control you from the
Speaker 2: very get go.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I had no chance from day one.
Speaker 2: No, you were hooked. You were just hooked.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: And I think that that's also a testament to being
Speaker 2: in a relationship with someone who is narcissistic or who
Speaker 2: has psychopathic tendencies. It is so incredibly hard to leave
Speaker 2: because they make it incredibly hard to leave. Well.
Speaker 1: So one of the main characteristics of someone of a
Speaker 1: sociopath is their lack of empathy. And I think this
Speaker 1: is really important for people to know. If they feel
Speaker 1: like somebody just doesn't have any emotion, any connection to reality,
Speaker 1: it's a sign. So I knew that something was big,
Speaker 1: like hugely wrong when I finally spoke to him for
Speaker 1: the first time. The first thing he said to me,
Speaker 1: I picked up the phone and he said, I hope
Speaker 1: you're happy, Britt, And I was so taken, Aback, I said, sorry,
Speaker 1: I hope I'm happy.
Speaker 2: Like, no, I'm devastated. My entire life has just fallen apart. Yeah,
Speaker 2: taking everything from me that I loved. He said, well,
Speaker 2: you could have just kept this to yourself. You didn't
Speaker 2: have to.
Speaker 1: Tell her, so that now I don't have either of you.
Speaker 1: That was his I just was so gobsmacked. It's almost
Speaker 1: sounds ridiculous.
Speaker 2: Repeating its like, but this is the level of selfishness
Speaker 2: that this person had to display.
Speaker 1: He said, you obviously set out to ruin my life
Speaker 1: and you've done that, so congratulations.
Speaker 2: To make you feel so do you know that in
Speaker 2: itself was one last dig at making you feel bad
Speaker 2: and like you're the reason why this ended, Like this
Speaker 2: was your fault. It was unbelievable and taking absolutely no
Speaker 2: responsibility for the way he acted and behaved throughout this
Speaker 2: whole relationship.
Speaker 1: And from this I developed insomnia and anxiety because he
Speaker 1: was so mad and there had been like violent outbursts
Speaker 1: in the relationship too. He knew I lived and worked,
Speaker 1: and he, honestly, from the depth of his heart, thought
Speaker 1: he believes that I ruined his life. So I started
Speaker 1: not sleeping because I thought, what if this person comes,
Speaker 1: What if he really really wants revenge because he thinks
Speaker 1: I've ruined his life. I didn't tell my family straight
Speaker 1: away for probably.
Speaker 2: A few weeks. Why was that?
Speaker 1: Well, I was so embarrassed. And I know that sounds
Speaker 1: like a strange comment or a strange emotion to have,
Speaker 1: but I felt like, what a loser? What an idiot?
Speaker 1: How could you have dated somebody like this? How could
Speaker 1: you have going to marry someone like this? Like?
Speaker 2: How could they have pulled the wool over your eyes
Speaker 2: so long?
Speaker 1: I thought? And I was just for some reason, I
Speaker 1: just felt like it was all my fault and my problem,
Speaker 1: and it's because he had trained me for years to
Speaker 1: feel like that. I finally had to tell my parents,
Speaker 1: and once I started and my sister, once I started
Speaker 1: telling them, it all just fell out, and they made
Speaker 1: me realize that this has nothing to do with me.
Speaker 2: This other person has come in with real intentions to
Speaker 2: control your behavior, and your behavior was controlled. And the
Speaker 2: way that you the things that you did in your
Speaker 2: relationship with the outcome of what somebody else wanted, the
Speaker 2: manipulation that somebody else wanted out of you, That could
Speaker 2: happen to anyone.
Speaker 1: Yeah, even the things I would wear. He used to
Speaker 1: manipulate that. But in a way that's not like you're
Speaker 1: not wearing that it was just in a way that
Speaker 1: made me feel insecure about what I had on, and
Speaker 1: I'd end up putting on what.
Speaker 2: He wanted, just to like jump back to what you
Speaker 2: were saying just before, and not in any way to
Speaker 2: compare your relationships to relationships that I've been through. But
Speaker 2: in my experience, I know that when I have had
Speaker 2: to lie to my family and friends, or like I've
Speaker 2: had to change the story a little bit to make
Speaker 2: my ex boyfriend seem like not such an asshole, that's
Speaker 2: when I knew that this was really profoundly wrong, Like
Speaker 2: something was really really a problem. If I was having
Speaker 2: to constantly try and make excuses for their bad behavior.
Speaker 2: Did you find that you were, at a time making
Speaker 2: these excuses as to why he was behaving a certain way,
Speaker 2: or keeping it from your close friends and your family
Speaker 2: because you didn't want them to judge him. Was that
Speaker 2: something that you found that you were doing.
Speaker 1: One hundred percent? There would be weekends that he would
Speaker 1: that I would plan and he would cancel last minute,
Speaker 1: and it turns out it was for reasons, like Emma,
Speaker 1: his other partner had flown in to surprise him, so
Speaker 1: he would have to cancel a minutes notice, and then
Speaker 1: I was so embarrassed by that that I would tell
Speaker 1: my friends I had to cancel it because I got
Speaker 1: called into work and I couldn't. I just couldn't get there.
Speaker 1: And really, you just did it because it was me
Speaker 1: constantly being knocked back, knocked down, trodden on, walked owever,
Speaker 1: And it's a it's a funny point that you just
Speaker 1: said about when you feel like you start to make
Speaker 1: excuses because you don't want people to know how horrible
Speaker 1: they are. My best friend said the same thing the
Speaker 1: other day when I was talking to her about this.
Speaker 1: She said, my boyfriend was such a drop kick, but
Speaker 1: she she would make excuses for him and lie to
Speaker 1: people about him, about how great he was or how
Speaker 1: he got a promotion or whatever to make him sound better,
Speaker 1: because she said, I was just embarrassed that he was
Speaker 1: a drop kick, but I didn't ever want to end it.
Speaker 2: And she loved him, and she loved him.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and she loved him.
Speaker 2: But there are there are some loves that it's it's
Speaker 2: an addiction. It's not necessarily being in love with the person,
Speaker 2: but it's being in love with the feeling of being
Speaker 2: in love and that in itself can be incredibly addictive.
Speaker 1: And I know from my past experience with dating someone
Speaker 1: who I definitely I mean, like I.
Speaker 2: Said earlier, I'm not a counselor, I'm not a psychiatrist,
Speaker 2: but he displayed a lot of characteristics that would put
Speaker 2: him in the narcissistic category. I wanted to be with
Speaker 2: him so much because I loved being in love with him,
Speaker 2: and the relationship we had was so intense and so
Speaker 2: heightened that I was addicted to it. But now that
Speaker 2: I'm in a healthy relationship, it's made me realize that
Speaker 2: healthy relationships don't have those huge peaks and those huge lows.
Speaker 2: They run at a more constant They're calmer, and you
Speaker 2: don't wake up every day thinking is today going to
Speaker 2: be a good day or is today going to be
Speaker 2: a bad day. You just know that every day is
Speaker 2: going to be good because there is that constant reliability
Speaker 2: to it.
Speaker 1: Well, that's a good point, because I was constantly walking
Speaker 1: on eggshells. Ith, It's funny you say that. Every day
Speaker 1: I was like, what's you going to be like today?
Speaker 2: So you have been single now for seven years, and
Speaker 2: a big part of that was the healing process after
Speaker 2: dating someone who is so manipulative. How do you think
Speaker 2: that that has changed your want to get into your
Speaker 2: relationship or the way that you date now, or your
Speaker 2: perception of men in general.
Speaker 1: Okay, so that's a good question. I think my look
Speaker 1: at dating has completely changed. So I'm not single now
Speaker 1: seven years later because of that. I don't want people
Speaker 1: to think that I really recovered well from that. Bought
Speaker 1: a one way ticket to Brazil and I was gone
Speaker 1: for three years, so that was a pretty good healing process.
Speaker 2: And I think that you're a testament to just how
Speaker 2: well someone can get over a traumatic relationship because you
Speaker 2: are so fiercely independent. You're such a strong woman. You
Speaker 2: have done so many amazing things in your own personal life.
Speaker 2: You've traveled by yourself, You've bought your you've bought your
Speaker 2: own property. Like you have done things in your life
Speaker 2: that you've achieved it on your own. Yeah, and you
Speaker 2: haven't waited for someone to come around and said, Okay,
Speaker 2: I'm going to do that alongside you. You're like, no,
Speaker 2: I want to do this. I'm going to do this
Speaker 2: on my own.
Speaker 1: I don't even know, man, damn straight, No, it's so true.
Speaker 1: I think everything happens for a reason. I always say that,
Speaker 1: but this horrific situation really shaped me. And it sounds
Speaker 1: so cliche. A bad situation, goes overseas to find yourself,
Speaker 1: comes back in new person to apport cliche.
Speaker 2: No, there's a reason why people do it. People go
Speaker 2: overseas because they want to escape their identity that they
Speaker 2: have here. They you know, I think there's an amazing
Speaker 2: part of traveling after something that's been traumatic because it
Speaker 2: means that there's no hang ups, nobody has a preconceived
Speaker 2: perception as to who you are. You get to go away. Sure,
Speaker 2: maybe some people might call it running away, but you
Speaker 2: get to go away and you get to be a
Speaker 2: new version of yourself in a fresh environment and give
Speaker 2: yourself some space to grow and heal.
Speaker 1: Yeah. So well. A pivotal moment for me was I
Speaker 1: was walking down the street one day and I looked
Speaker 1: in a window. I was walking a route overseas that
Speaker 1: I had never walked. I looked in a window and
Speaker 1: I saw this monk, this his coat. I was like,
Speaker 1: what's that. I looked in and he looked at me,
Speaker 1: and we waved at each other. And that was the
Speaker 1: start of a month that he and I spent together.
Speaker 2: With a monk.
Speaker 1: Yeah, with a monk. Where were you, I believe it
Speaker 1: or not? London?
Speaker 2: You spent a month with a monk in London.
Speaker 1: Not what you think, right, not to bet. He wasn't
Speaker 1: like in the Amazon jungle.
Speaker 2: It was just says months in the Amazon jungle.
Speaker 1: Well, you know it might be. I spent a month
Speaker 1: with him, not a month full time, just like every
Speaker 1: day I would see him. Yeah, And the main thing
Speaker 1: that I took away from him, And this is how
Speaker 1: I approach life, and this is how I would love
Speaker 1: everybody to approach life, is that your whole life depends
Speaker 1: on your reaction to any given situation. So something bad
Speaker 1: is going to happen to every single one of us
Speaker 1: in our life. A death, a traumatic breakup, whatever it is.
Speaker 2: And things that are completely out of our control, out
Speaker 2: of your control.
Speaker 1: So the situation's going to happen. You can either go
Speaker 1: to your room and be depressed and anxious for the
Speaker 1: next six weeks, or you can still deal with it
Speaker 1: and mourn, but you can get on with your life
Speaker 1: and take something positive from it. Either way, the situation happened,
Speaker 1: and that's not going to change all that's changed is
Speaker 1: how you're dealing with it.
Speaker 2: And I do think as well that you can exacerbate
Speaker 2: your own hurt by trying to control somebody else's reaction
Speaker 2: to a situation.
Speaker 1: In the end, to answer your question, I was single
Speaker 1: just because I knew I didn't want to waste any
Speaker 1: more time. All of a sudden, I knew who I was,
Speaker 1: and I knew what I wanted, I knew my expectations,
Speaker 1: and I knew what I deserved, and I just didn't
Speaker 1: want to waste my time again with someone that didn't
Speaker 1: fit that criteria.
Speaker 2: And I know that, and it kind of sounds bad
Speaker 2: to have a criteria in dating, but you kind of
Speaker 2: do need that you do. I'm actually an advocate for
Speaker 2: having some sort of checklist. And it's not about the
Speaker 2: way the person looks, and it's not the way what
Speaker 2: the person earns or the job they have or any
Speaker 2: of that sort of stuff. It's about the type of
Speaker 2: person that they are and what they want for their
Speaker 2: goals in the future, so that you know from daytart
Speaker 2: that your relationship marries up and that you're heading in
Speaker 2: the same direction. A lot of people don't want to
Speaker 2: ask those questions because they don't want to know. They
Speaker 2: don't want to be let down at the beginning if.
Speaker 1: It's not what what their goals is.
Speaker 2: Because if someone says, actually, do you know what, I
Speaker 2: don't want these things that are on your checklist, well,
Speaker 2: then what are you going to do? Are you going
Speaker 2: to walk away from that person and say and say, Okay,
Speaker 2: unfortunately I really like them, but you know what, they're
Speaker 2: not in the same trajectory as me. Or are you
Speaker 2: going to waste three years and try and change that
Speaker 2: person to be on the same trajectory as you, Well.
Speaker 1: They exactly, and then you've wasted threes of your time.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and so I really, I mean I believe in
Speaker 2: checklist relationships and people might disagree with me, and that's fine,
Speaker 2: but I do think it's important to sit down and
Speaker 2: write down what you want and what you've learnt from
Speaker 2: your past relationships in order to make better decisions in
Speaker 2: your next relationship.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean, I don't write a checklist as such,
Speaker 1: but I don't even write a grocery list.
Speaker 2: Yea.
Speaker 1: I have a general list in my head of like
Speaker 1: you know, but I'm pretty open to meeting loads of
Speaker 1: people now, like all different walks of life totally.
Speaker 2: And look, I'm not saying this because I think that
Speaker 2: there needs to be the same it's just one type
Speaker 2: of person. I think that it could be many different
Speaker 2: types of people, but they have similar characteristics. So that
Speaker 2: way you're heading in the same direction. Do you know
Speaker 2: what else is really crazy? Tell me?
Speaker 1: I just realized. I just remember now he took us
Speaker 1: both to the same Tiffany's.
Speaker 2: As in you and the other woman. Yes, you both
Speaker 2: went to the same not.
Speaker 1: Even just Tiffany's in general, the same one.
Speaker 2: What if he got the same sales rep. I don't know.
Speaker 2: Do you think he liked flirting with the danger of
Speaker 2: it a little bit? Do you think that there was
Speaker 2: maybe he got off yea on this idea that that
Speaker 2: use it was, Yeah, like he was like a chess
Speaker 2: player in this whole game.
Speaker 1: Yeah. And I eventually it turns out he was with
Speaker 1: thirteen other women as well in that time.
Speaker 2: What but you know, he's just flown my mind.
Speaker 1: But he said to me, God, he said the one time,
Speaker 1: I said, you know what, just be honest, I'm never
Speaker 1: going to speak to you again. Just tell me. And
Speaker 1: he said, Okay, there were thirteen other women, but you
Speaker 1: were the only.
Speaker 2: Other girlfriend, You're the one I loved. As if that
Speaker 2: made me feel better, he said he But you know what,
Speaker 2: maybe he said that as well. And look, may it
Speaker 2: may be the truth, but maybe he said that as
Speaker 2: a way of just hurting you more.
Speaker 1: He told me, and I believed it. He had a
Speaker 1: tear in his eye because this is the one time
Speaker 1: I ever spoke to him and saw him, and only
Speaker 1: because I ran into him on the street one day.
Speaker 1: He had a tear in his eye and he said,
Speaker 1: believe it or not, I did love you. And I
Speaker 1: know everyone in Australia who's going to hate me right now,
Speaker 1: I believe that because I believe in this super messed up,
Speaker 1: sociopathic way, that's love to them, because I know he
Speaker 1: cared about me. He wouldn't have dated me for two years.
Speaker 1: I'm not saying it's normal. I'm just saying in his
Speaker 1: messed up world, there was his version of some sort
Speaker 1: of love. Yeah.
Speaker 2: I think that that's important to say that. I think
Speaker 2: what youth and I think love is someone who can
Speaker 2: do that to you doesn't have the capacity to love
Speaker 2: in the way that we love.
Speaker 1: Statistics say that we all everyone now has met a
Speaker 1: sociopath in their life. They just don't know it. They're
Speaker 1: just normal people on the street that you run into
Speaker 1: every day.
Speaker 2: And sometimes sometimes they're the most charismatic, amazing, enchanting people.
Speaker 2: And then it's only the people who are very very
Speaker 2: close to them that can see that there's a layer
Speaker 2: or facade there that doesn't quite fit.
Speaker 1: Look, I'm sure this is going to hit home to
Speaker 1: a lot of people to an extent, cheating the double
Speaker 1: life the line. I just want people to I know
Speaker 1: that the embarrassment you feel, because I know there'll be
Speaker 1: women out there listening and saying that's me. I feel
Speaker 1: that it's got nothing to do with you. I don't
Speaker 1: want anybody to feel that embarrassment or feel like they
Speaker 1: are the victim, because you're not, and you can take
Speaker 1: this into your hands and you can control your outcome.
Speaker 1: It's just hard to walk away sometimes, but.
Speaker 2: Very hard to walk away.
Speaker 1: My advice too, is if you've got a really close
Speaker 1: friends or family that are telling you things that you
Speaker 1: disagree with, like about your partner, maybe just try and
Speaker 1: open up and listen to them for a little bit
Speaker 1: because it's coming from somewhere.
Speaker 2: Well, it's coming from people who love you. It's coming
Speaker 2: from people who genuinely have no ulterior motive other than
Speaker 2: they want the best for you. So if your friends
Speaker 2: are telling you that the guy you're dating is a dick,
Speaker 2: the guy you're dating could be a dick. It's true, though, Boyler,
Speaker 2: he's a dick, he could be.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and love is blind. That statement is so true.
Speaker 2: I also think it's important to touch on the fact
Speaker 2: that when when you've been cheated on, or when you've
Speaker 2: been lied to, or you've been manipulated in a relationship,
Speaker 2: it's very easy to start to get into the mentality
Speaker 2: of what can I do to make myself better so
Speaker 2: that this person won't cheat on me again or they
Speaker 2: won't leave me? Because I know that in my past
Speaker 2: relationship where I was cheated on, my first reaction wasn't
Speaker 2: to think this was their fault. This is entirely their issue,
Speaker 2: and I didn't do this to the relationship. My first
Speaker 2: reaction was, and I'm actually almost embarrassed to say this now,
Speaker 2: was I'm not skinny enough, I'm not pretty enough, I'm
Speaker 2: not intelligent or interesting enough, I'm not funny enough. And
Speaker 2: I wanted to change myself to make myself better for
Speaker 2: them where now I look back on that and I
Speaker 2: just wish I could talk to that broken girl and say,
Speaker 2: holy shit, get rid of that person who makes you
Speaker 2: feel so insignificant and so unware worthy of being loved
Speaker 2: in the way that you deserve to be loved. Because
Speaker 2: it was years of life where I made excuses for
Speaker 2: someone who made me unhappy.
Speaker 1: And that's half the battle with everybody. I don't think
Speaker 1: there are many women out there that could put their
Speaker 1: hand up and say one hundred and ten percent, I
Speaker 1: am happy with how I am. And I think I.
Speaker 2: Hope that there's more women than that.
Speaker 1: I really too, and I think we're moving in that direction.
Speaker 1: But I think with so much outside pressure from social media,
Speaker 1: from men that are just saying, well, you could lose
Speaker 1: a few kilos or I read something the other day
Speaker 1: about a girl saying her boyfriend bought her a gym
Speaker 1: membership and just left it on the kitchen table.
Speaker 2: I didn't say.
Speaker 4: Anything like the most express so on subtle, Oh, I
Speaker 4: just you know, look, maybe let's let's play the devil's
Speaker 4: advocate here.
Speaker 2: Maybe the gym is important to him for his mental health,
Speaker 2: and that is he was like, you know what, you'll
Speaker 2: feel happy go to the gym. I would probably kill
Speaker 2: Matt if he tried to subtly and not so subtly
Speaker 2: tell me that I needed to go to the gym
Speaker 2: because he wasn't as attracted to me.
Speaker 1: Well, I think the point this tells me.
Speaker 2: Yeah, Britt, I'm so grateful that you shared this story
Speaker 2: because I know that this is not something that you
Speaker 2: have spoken about publicly. It is a huge and life
Speaker 2: defining story. And I do think that there are people
Speaker 2: who will listen to aspects of this and say, you know,
Speaker 2: I've experienced that, or or I know what it's like
Speaker 2: to be controlled or manipulated in a relationship. And like
Speaker 2: I've already said, the fact that this happened to you
Speaker 2: and someone who I think is is so independent, it
Speaker 2: genuinely blows my mind because it truly can happen to anyone.
Speaker 1: If you have that feeling that just something isn't right,
Speaker 1: it probably isn't. You've got instinct in every situation in
Speaker 1: life really needs to be trusted and listened to.
Speaker 2: So we did have a section that we wanted to
Speaker 2: start including in this podcast because we have been receiving
Speaker 2: so many messages and questions and I love that this
Speaker 2: has become really interactive. But we are introducing a section
Speaker 2: club Ask Uncut.
Speaker 1: That was not reheart. We didn't even plan that, though
Speaker 1: we nailed it.
Speaker 2: So ask Uncut. So you guys please like message us
Speaker 2: on our Instagram, which is at Life Uncut podcast. You
Speaker 2: can ask us your questions and we will pick one
Speaker 2: out each week to be able to answer it for
Speaker 2: you and give you our unqualified spin on what we
Speaker 2: think of that question.
Speaker 1: Very unqualified. Can we make a note.
Speaker 2: Yes, please so because of the conversation we've just had
Speaker 2: and how we've ended that conversation. The question that we
Speaker 2: were asked today was my partner cheated on me? Now
Speaker 2: I don't trust him? Do you forgive? And how do
Speaker 2: you move past that? Brittany, what do you think of this?
Speaker 1: This is a tough one.
Speaker 2: Do you think it's possible to move on from a
Speaker 2: situation where someone has cheated?
Speaker 1: Yes, to be honest, I do. I think it's very
Speaker 1: dependent on the situation. But if they've come forward and
Speaker 1: they're really honest and it was an honest I can't
Speaker 1: say honest mistake. But I definitely think there are times
Speaker 1: that you can speak as a couple and I have
Speaker 1: read studies from psychologists that say couples that there has
Speaker 1: been infidelity have actually come out stronger because they've gone
Speaker 1: and worked through it, They've worked out why it happened,
Speaker 1: and they've been better than ever. I think if you
Speaker 1: can move on happily and accept it, that's great. But
Speaker 1: if you have said you've accepted it, but then you're
Speaker 1: going home and saying I don't trust him, how do
Speaker 1: I internally move on? Then you're not going to if
Speaker 1: you can't trust his everything.
Speaker 2: I do agree. I think that yes, it is possible
Speaker 2: to move on from cheating in a relationship. However, I
Speaker 2: think that it fundamentally changes the relationship and it takes
Speaker 2: a long time to heal from that, and so I
Speaker 2: think that both parties need to be realistic that it
Speaker 2: might take a year or two years to really heal
Speaker 2: from some sort of infidelity, and it does depend on
Speaker 2: what sort of infidelity that was. Like, we don't live
Speaker 2: in a vacuum. There's no yes and no answer to
Speaker 2: these questions. But I think that as we move more
Speaker 2: into a society where there's diminishing stigma around couple's counseling,
Speaker 2: there is more conversation around acceptance and putting out on
Speaker 2: the table what you need in a relationship and what
Speaker 2: you want and maybe getting to the root cause of
Speaker 2: why why did this person cheat in the first place?
Speaker 2: Was it an absolute moment of just stupid there was
Speaker 2: to me drinks a stupid decision? Was it something more
Speaker 2: systematic and endemic in the relationship? So I think it
Speaker 2: really does come down to the cause and why was
Speaker 2: it an actual affair? In which case there's so many
Speaker 2: more layers of lying.
Speaker 1: Yeah, how long?
Speaker 2: Totally? And also are there dependables? Do you have children?
Speaker 2: Are you married? Do you own a house together? I
Speaker 2: think that when you say start bringing in more of
Speaker 2: the bigger life commitments, then there's more reasons for people
Speaker 2: to work it out. But if you've been with your
Speaker 2: boyfriend for six months and he's done this, it makes
Speaker 2: it so much more difficult to try and work through
Speaker 2: that because honestly, who can deal with the drama?
Speaker 1: I think for me, the underlying thing here is the
Speaker 1: trust part where she says I just don't trust him.
Speaker 1: She wants to stay with him, but she doesn't trust him.
Speaker 2: Well, the betrayal is the most damaging part of that.
Speaker 1: Yeah, if you can't trust them, and you're gonna be
Speaker 1: wondering where they are every night. You need to leave.
Speaker 1: Just call it.
Speaker 2: What do you think of the idea if somebody has
Speaker 2: cheated in a relationship, then their phone and their email
Speaker 2: and everything else needs to be an open book, as
Speaker 2: in like kind of like random drug testing. So are
Speaker 2: you if you have trug? Yeah, but I think of
Speaker 2: it like that. It's like a random drug test. Like
Speaker 2: you've cheated on me, I've forgiven you, But right now
Speaker 2: I feel insecure. So give me your goddamn phone because
Speaker 2: I want to check what the fuck you're just doing again.
Speaker 1: Two sides to it. I think that a relationship should
Speaker 1: be open enough anyway that if you're like, babe, I'm
Speaker 1: just going to jump on and check that email. I
Speaker 1: think you should have access to each other. But I
Speaker 1: think if you're at the point where you feel like
Speaker 1: they go out of the room and you need to
Speaker 1: troll through their stuff, it's not right. You're not sitting
Speaker 1: in a comfortable, trustworthy relationship.
Speaker 2: But I do think that if you've made the decision
Speaker 2: to move forward from cheating, then there is give and take,
Speaker 2: Because I don't think that the crime of wanting to
Speaker 2: look at someone's phone because they've betrayed you. Matches the
Speaker 2: crime of cheating no, so to have access. Yeah, so
Speaker 2: if that person has asked for your forgiveness, then they
Speaker 2: need to understand that they're well I think this. This
Speaker 2: might not be true, but I think that if they've
Speaker 2: betrayed your trust and they've asked for forgiveness, then they
Speaker 2: need to come to the table a little bit with
Speaker 2: being open and also allowing you to act a little
Speaker 2: bit freaking crazy at times whilst you're healing.
Speaker 1: Well, it's bound to happen, isn't it. Absolutely Okay, we're
Speaker 1: all good now.
Speaker 2: It's so unfair for them to say you forgave me.
Speaker 2: You said you weren't going to bring this up. You
Speaker 2: can't go through my phone. There has to be some
Speaker 2: give and take. And I'm not saying that it gives
Speaker 2: you the liberty to do it for forever, but I
Speaker 2: think whilst you're getting over that initial trust hump, there
Speaker 2: needs to be some give and take in that. Okay, Brittany,
Speaker 2: I feel like we've covered some pretty heavy topics today.
Speaker 1: See thanks for bearing with us, guys, but we really
Speaker 1: needed to get that out into the atmosphere.
Speaker 2: Ah, yeah, And I also think that, you know, like,
Speaker 2: love can be amazing and love can be really shitty,
Speaker 2: and so it's okay to talk about the things that
Speaker 2: are really difficult. So if you're in the midst of
Speaker 2: a shitty, shitty relationship or you're trying to find your
Speaker 2: way out of something that's quite toxic, I hope that
Speaker 2: there's been little parts of this today that you've been
Speaker 2: able to take away and go, yeah, I've got this.
Speaker 1: Yeah. As long as one person takes something from this
Speaker 1: and learn something, we're happy.
Speaker 2: Britt Baby, gimme your suck, and you're sweet.
Speaker 1: Suck and sweet, so suck. First suck is probably the
Speaker 1: fact that I got home to bed at about one
Speaker 1: am and it's five am and we got up to
Speaker 1: record this podcast.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, so I am so sorry. So we
Speaker 2: were supposed to record this podcast at like a normal
Speaker 2: reasonable hour of the day.
Speaker 1: But because we're both ridiculous humans, oh.
Speaker 2: Which is there's so much going on in life, and
Speaker 2: I have a baby, and so I had to be
Speaker 2: here when Matt wasn't working, so we had to get
Speaker 2: this recorded and finished before eight am.
Speaker 1: She's like, babe has five thirty and I'm like, mate, great,
Speaker 1: let's do it. Look it in so Brits suck is
Speaker 1: me basically as we inadvertently is Laura. But let's end
Speaker 1: on a suite and I hope that that's also Mary.
Speaker 1: My suite is obviously you every day getting the crossotin
Speaker 1: coffee with you? Is this week, my friend? No, the
Speaker 1: suite's probably. I did my talk with Beautiful Minds for
Speaker 1: mental health for the teenagers. I flew down to Melbourne.
Speaker 2: I saw that on your Instagram's, babe, that's so wonderful.
Speaker 2: Explain a little bit about what that is.
Speaker 1: We just went down, me and a guy called Andrew,
Speaker 1: who is amazing. He speaks to the boys, teenage boys,
Speaker 1: and we just speak to them about being a really
Speaker 1: strong woman independent, how to deal with online bullying, how
Speaker 1: to be a good person, mental health issues, everything in
Speaker 1: the mental health realm. And they were fourteen year olds
Speaker 1: that I spoke to, about sixty of them, and it
Speaker 1: was so great. They all messaged me and said that
Speaker 1: they really took something away from that and thank you
Speaker 1: so much for coming. And I just felt like finally
Speaker 1: I was giving something back.
Speaker 2: And you go in and speak to them in schools.
Speaker 1: We go to their schools anywhere astmazing. Any school in
Speaker 1: Australia can call and organize it with beautiful minds. So
Speaker 1: it's government funded, it's a school curriculum and it's a
Speaker 1: really really amazing thing they're doing.
Speaker 2: I love that you're doing this. I mean, you know,
Speaker 2: you have, you have an influential following, and to be
Speaker 2: able to go in and speak to young children and
Speaker 2: be like, yeah, you know, sure I work in this
Speaker 2: influencer world, but god, it's all made up and it's
Speaker 2: all shit and smoke and mirrors. This is me. This
Speaker 2: is what I look like. You know. I have great days,
Speaker 2: I have shitty days. I think that it's so important
Speaker 2: for young people to actually see what an influencer in
Speaker 2: I'm doing inverted comments looks like in a real Oh yeah,
Speaker 2: we've got a camera set up here, what an influencer
Speaker 2: looks like in real life. So yeah, I think that
Speaker 2: that's really beautiful that you're doing that, and I love
Speaker 2: that that's your suck and you're sweet and what's yours?
Speaker 2: My suck for suck and my sweet my suck. My
Speaker 2: suck was probably also getting up at five point thirty
Speaker 2: to do this podcast after I just got up at
Speaker 2: four thirty to breastfeed Marley and also Maley pete and
Speaker 2: pood all over herself during her sleep last night, So
Speaker 2: that was really interesting to deal with. Yeah, you guys
Speaker 2: are so welcome for these details. I told you that
Speaker 2: every week My suck and my Sweet was going to
Speaker 2: be something baby related.
Speaker 1: I have an inkling maybe you're sweet might not be
Speaker 1: baby related.
Speaker 2: Well, yes, my sweet is actually pretty great. So this
Speaker 2: week I don't know if anyone was following my Instagram,
Speaker 2: but this week Matt and I we took our first
Speaker 2: trip to Melbourne. So we flew on a plane with Marley.
Speaker 2: It was a success. She slept and we did a
Speaker 2: trade show called Life in Style and Life in Style
Speaker 2: is a great, big wholesale trade show which is a
Speaker 2: way of getting your brand out there. And I don't
Speaker 2: know if you guys know, but I have my own
Speaker 2: jewelry business, and so for me, it was a really
Speaker 2: amazing opportunity to one feel like an adult again and
Speaker 2: talk to other adults and be working without something attached
Speaker 2: to your breast. Yeah, I was just really amazing. Matt.
Speaker 2: Matt came down. He stayed with me for the full
Speaker 2: five days. He stayed with the Airbnb and took care
Speaker 2: of Marley and just just did everything that he needed
Speaker 2: to do. He did was full on dad mode.
Speaker 1: And I love I saw a lot of selfies and
Speaker 1: he was stoked, like matching beanies. He his loving dad life.
Speaker 2: It was so good because in the past six weeks
Speaker 2: he hasn't had a lot of time on his own
Speaker 2: with Maley without me being a bit of a helicopter.
Speaker 2: So it gave him the autonomy to just be a
Speaker 2: dad without me telling him what to do. And it
Speaker 2: also gave me the freedom to be a business owner
Speaker 2: again and to work for Tony May and to work
Speaker 2: for myself. And I just felt so invigorated. I mean,
Speaker 2: I'm tired, but I'm so invigorated from a week of
Speaker 2: doing that. And I really feel like it's possible to
Speaker 2: be a new mum and to have the business and
Speaker 2: to have the relationship and to have all these different
Speaker 2: facets of life and juggle it.
Speaker 1: Yeah. I take my hat off some because you were
Speaker 1: doing I'm proud of you. Thank you.
Speaker 2: I think I need to said that.
Speaker 1: Cast You've got a thousand things on your mind, but
Speaker 1: you still nailed it and very successfully.
Speaker 2: Thanks babe. I'm really lucky. I have an amazing support network,
Speaker 2: and I think that that is so crucial when you're
Speaker 2: a new mum. Yeah.
Speaker 1: Well, thanks for listening, guys.
Speaker 2: Guys, thank you for listening. I am I'm honestly thank
Speaker 2: you for sharing. Yeah. Sorry, that was a bit heavy today, No,
Speaker 2: never apologized, that was why we got into this. I'm
Speaker 2: so grateful for you sharing your story, and I'm sure
Speaker 2: that people who are listening and who've gotten this far
Speaker 2: are very grateful for it as well. And I know
Speaker 2: that it's a big deal for you to put this
Speaker 2: out there.
Speaker 1: I'm glad it's finally out there. I hope someone's life
Speaker 1: has been changed slightly. But guys, feel free to write
Speaker 1: into us any questions or advice you need. Don't forget
Speaker 1: to subscribe and come back next week.
Speaker 2: Yes, So if you would like to follow us on
Speaker 2: social media, as I said, it's at Life on Podcast,
Speaker 2: feel free to slide into our dms there as well. Guys.
Speaker 2: That's always exciting and we will have another episode for
Speaker 2: you next Wednesday.